All language subtitles for Insecurity s02e01 Agent Oo La La.eng

N'udu's asleep again.

Oh! Can someone else do it?

You're the only one who knows the trick.

Okay, everybody gimme some room.

Janice.

N'udu!

Aaa-aaah-oww!

You owe Janice a pillow.

Okay, let's start.
Where's Claude?

He's stuck in traffic.

I know, because I passed him on my bike.

Score another victory for active living.

It's not victory I smell.

Sorry about that.

Hey, don't worry about it.
We were just getting going.

Oh. Parkway was slow.

I guess I'm fashionably late.

Um, right.

So, Andre Kirlov, AKA Porcupine,

Liason officer for the Russian Embassy.

Not only is he an expert
on Russia's activities

in the Middle East, I think
I can turn him into a source.

I don't know.
Porcupine's a special one,

meticulous, paranoid,

the kind of guy you look at
and think, "What the hell?"

Yeah. Uh, I have a meeting
with him this morning.

- Want me to come with you?
- No, no. I'm good.

A lotta work to be done.
So just stay inside today.

That was directed at the group,
no one in particular.

Okay, let's boogie.

Well, let's get out there
and help Agent Oo La La.

JOJO What was he wearing?

I don't know. But I hope it's for
Operation Stylin' and Profilin'.

- He went to New York this weekend.
- In a time machine?

Okay, let's focus. We're talking
about one of our top operatives,

Bonhomme Super Sexe.

JOJO: Nice!
Okay. I'm stopping.

Hi, Burt.

Hi Denise.

- I'm making toast.
- You certainly are.

I certainly am.

You can make toast at my place again,

if you know what I mean.

Oh, I know what you mean.

It's a kitchen party!

Hey, Jeff. How's polygraph division?

I'd tell ya it's fun,
but I'd be lying. Heh?

Baby, you know Burt?

Um, yeah, I think we've met.

- Hi. Denise.
- Hi.

- Hey, you guys makin' toast together?
- No.

Yes, you are.
I can see it.

Well, that's his toast, not my toast.

Uh-oh. Burn alert! Am I right?

Well, back at 'er.

Call ya at lunch, Babe.

Take it ease.

You didn't break up with him yet.

I couldn't do it.
It'll make him sad.

If you don't end things with Jeff,

I don't think we can make
any more toast together.

It's just he-he's going through
a really tough time right now.

JEFF: Oo-ooh, DJ Jeff
in the house!

Potato vodka is bitter in the winter.

This place has gone downhill.

Oh, sorry, I thought
you were somebody else.

Psst. Over here.

What was that?

Are you trying to get caught?

You said you'd be wearing
a trench coat, Andre.

- It's like 30 degrees out.
- Were you followed?

Only by the crazy guy in the diaper.

But now he's following a squirrel,
so...

Ooh-ooh.
Is there soy in this smoothie?

Those bastards at the deli are
trying to get inside my head.

I've eaten there. It's mostly
ex-cons trying to go straight.

Hmmph, trying.

Whose side are you on?

Maybe I won't tell you
what we're doing in Syria.

I'll make it worth your while.

Oh, that's what they all say.

But there is always a catch.

They want to know how to reach you,

who to make the cheque
out to, how much you want.

What do I look like, a fool?

Well, I have cash up front
as a show of trust.

Well, I will accept that cash,
as a show of wanting it.

Good. Don't touch me!

Sorry. It won't happen again.
Andre. You forgot your coat.

I'll get it when you're gone.

Wow. I thought Porcupine
was a lost cause.

Now I kinda wish we'd given
him a better codename.

Well, all the good ones were taken.

It was either that or syphilis.

Hey. Here's a little smile for you.

Have you seen Claude's
retro getup today?

The guys in tech unit are calling it

Operation Styling and Profiling.

Isn't that hilarious?

I, uh, actually came up with that.

Mm-mm. Nah, it was Kenny,
I think, in shipping.

He does improv.

No, it was me. I was just
kiddin' around in a meeting.

Wow. Well, it looks like
Kenny's got some competition.

Did you come up with
Bonhomme Super Sexe?

Maybe.

Oh, man!

That Claude, he's got a great
sense a humour to take that.

- Well, he wasn't in the room.
- Oh.

No, I mean I could have
said it to his face.

He would have been fine with it.

Sure.

Hey, um, there's something
I was gonna mention.

Oh, me too.

I've set up a post office
box for drops with Porcupine.

Oh, great.

Alex, while I have you, um...

you know, these pants
and jacket, uh...

Yeah, I was gonna...

Helene and I were in New York

and so she got me to try these on.

I used to wear clothes
like this when I...

well, I guess they're
back in style. Right?

Uh, well, yeah.

But if I was gonna be honest, uh...

I would say they never went out.

Oh, good.
Oh, I'm glad you like them.

Yeah, they really
make a statement. Yeah, uh?

I thought about changing this morning,

but hearing that makes me feel better.

Good. Yes.

Great outfit.

Thank you, Alex.

Okay, I need everything you've
got on Russian Embassy finances.

Also, I would like to thank
Claude for his stellar work

on setting up that
drop box for Porcupine.

It wasn't hard.

No, you're being modest.
You're a true professional,

and I mean that more than anything
else I've said about you.

Thank you?

Okay, let's run down these names.

Hey, would you look at that.

Okay, now it's scary.
How do you make it stop?

Answer them.

What's going on?
Total crap storm.

NISA's just been WikiLeaked.

So the rumours are true.

WikiLeaks went public with
a host of NISA files and emails.

How bad?
Are we burned?

Do I need to cut off all
contact with my family?

Because I can.
It's no problem.

We need to go through every
message and assess the damage.

Dibs on all emails marked NSFW.

You guys remember Jeff from
the polygraph department?

While we combing through
the leaks, he'll be conducting

an internal investigation to
find the person responsible.

We have to take a polygraph?

Nothing to be worried about,
unless you have somethin' to hide.

- Thanks, Jeff.
- Word.

Most of these emails are
between our surveillance guys

trying to decide where to go for beers.

I don't get this WikiLeaks crap.

It used to be if you
wanted to leak something,

you'd hide a floppy disk
in a body cavity.

And that's sad.
Romance is gone.

Just tell me if you see
the code name Porcupine.

- Whoa.
- What?

They got the name of my sailboat.

Now I have to get rid of it.

People at the yacht club won't believe
I'm selling the Mary Jane.

- That's what your boat's called?
- Yeah.

You know what it means, right?

You got me.
I'm not the literary type.

- Porcupine sighting.
- Well, that's not good.

I already bragged to the
Minister about turning him.

His name wasn't leaked, but it mentions
a mole at the Russian Embassy.

That's manageable.
It doesn't identify him.

Yeah, but Andre's squirrelly
enough that if he sees this,

he'll be out of the country.

Now I feel bad for
complaining about my boat.

Problem.

Problem-problem.

I know. I never shoulda given
Lavalife my work email.

No. Uh, I'm dating
polygraph guy's girlfriend.

That is a problem-problem.

Yeah. How can I just sit there
strapped in his machine

with him staring me right in the eye

and keep such a big thing from him?

He's only gonna ask you
questions about WikiLeaks.

Yes, but I'm gonna be thinking about

sleeping-with-Denise answers.
Oh, yeah.

Jeff is known for his
ability to see through lies.

And then he's got the
whole machine thing.

He'll know I'm hiding something
and then, pow! Guantanamo Bay,

or whatever we have instead
of Guantanamo Bay.

We have an island off of Labrador.

- You want Guantanamo.
- I don't want either.

I just want Denise
to break up with Jeff

so that I don't have to
picture his stupid face

every time Denise
and I are... you know?

Because it doesn't help the...
you know?

'Cause of morals,
you know?

You can fool this polygraph machine,

with help from a master of deception,

Benjamin Farnsworth N'udu.

Your middle name is Farnsworth?

No. That was a lie.

Will you teach me?

Yes.

Was that a lie?

Porcupine's gone dark.
He's not returning my calls.

Any leads?

Porcupine left the Embassy parking
garage at 11:23 this morning.

How'd you get that intel so quickly?

You'd be surprised how intimidating

this rolled up sheaf
of WikiLeaks can be.

Great job, especially considering
that was over the phone.

We need to keep working this.

I'll pay a visit to his brother
in Orleans. Can I borrow that?

CLAUDE: Listen, there is something
else unusual in the WikiLeaks.

I found a very curious
email thread about

an Operation Styling and Profiling.

What?

See? It's quite a long thread.

Yes.

Wow, amazingly long.

I don't know any of these code names:

Bonhomme Super Sexe,
Agent Oo La La.

Aah, that's a mistake.

It's actually a misspell of Agent Ola,

a Spanish operative in the Dominican.

It's, uh...

Need to know.

I've said too much.
Est�pido stupida!

Am I being shut out here?

We should talk.

Uh?

So, there's something
I should tell you.

Mm-hmm?

Well, um, specifically that...

you are Agent Oo La La.

What?

Bonhomme Super Sexe,
Huggy Bear,

The Spy Who Came in from
the '70s, all of them.

When you came in this
morning, your-your outfit

caught some of us off guard
and some things were said.

By me.

And then others started saying them.

I'm sorry.

It was silly.

You know how some of us
kid around sometimes?

But you said you liked the clothes.

Yes, I did say that.

Okay.

Oh, by the way, I have a
location for Porcupine.

He's at this address.

Oh.

- Great. Thank you.
- Yeah.

Hey, uh, do you wanna stay and
make fun of Burt for a bit?

I could call him in.

Oh, God.

Now, remember the ABC I told you?

Always be calm?
Always behave casually?

Always be clenching.

- Clench, clench.
- Right, right.

- And when in doubt?
- Breathe out.

There you go.

Just think of the polygraph
machine as a sleeping cat.

What kinda cat?
One that you can lie to.

Whoa, that guy is tough.

He got me to admit I stole
a pack of gum in Grade 6.

- Ignore her.
- I told him I like Cake Wars.

I don't even watch Cake Wars.

I watch Cake Wars.

Go.

Clench. Clench.

Hey, hey, polygraph party!

Out there I may be
fun-loving DJ Jeffasaurus,

the guy everyone wants to be and do.

But in here,
I'm Jeff Cooperman,

polygraph technician.

I make liars cry.

Well, it's a good thing I'm not a...

Ooo, that's snug.

What does that measure?

Nothing. It's just
keeps you from bolting.

First question: Name?

Burt Wilson.

Hm.

Now the real questions.

Did you leak any NISA material?

No.,

- Have you ever leaked
classified material? - No.

Do you know anyone who has?

No.

Are you clenching?

No.

I'm gonna just keep apologizing
until you forgive me.

Apologize for what, a joke?

Who cares?
I like my clothes.

- You don't have to say that.
- Yes I do.

Helene thinks I look good.
That's all I care about.

Of course.
That's what I thought you meant.

Claude Lesage, NISA.
We spoke on the phone.

You don't look like the guy I spoke to.

- Why?
- You had such a professional phone voice,

I didn't think you were going
through a midlife thing.

- Hey, he can wear whatever he wants.
- I'm just saying.

I could put you on a watch list
for harassing a federal agent.

Alex, he's on our side.

Oh. Uh, sorry.
Thanks for all your help.

Seriously, I could make you disappear.

Have you ever concealed information

from NISA management or supervisors?

No.

Last question: Have you
ever concealed information

from a fellow NISA employee?

No.

I'll ask that again.

Have you ever concealed information

from a fellow NISA employee?

No.

- Look, I can explain.
- Save it.

I gotta call this one in.

Tell me we didn't miss him.

Maybe the fashion police got to him too.

He's gone.

Plain macaroni, just boiled.

He must be close.
Let's check the rooms.

Oh.

Now the cheese has been added.

And the butter too.

I guess all that's needed is the milk.

Mm-hmm.

I hope I'm not adding too much.

It's getting awfully runny.

Don't!

Stay back!

I can't believe you let this happen.

Just add some flour.

I think he meant the leak.

I trusted you.

I know how you feel.

Hey, hey, hey, no eye
contact. Who is this guy?

Claude. He's one of my best agents.

And punch lines.

Believe me, you can trust NISA.

Oh.

Cranston.

- We found the mole. It's Burt.
- What?

I never trusted that guy.

Who names their kid Burt?
Sounds fake.

There must be some mistake.

I'll get to the bottom of Burt.

I don't mean it that way.
McNeil out.

You look ill.

Please, move off my carpet.

Everything's good.
We'll take care of you.

The way you took care of my lunch?

I'm in the wind.

Maybe not.
Looks like we have visitors.

Okay, don't worry.

They're not actually that big.
The camera adds 10 pounds.

Viktor.

Piotr.

Slow day at the office?

Who are your guests?

That was the chair.

Come on, what's the deal?

- Are you a tree-hugging WikiLeaker
or what? - No.

Your polygraph's a gong show.

You know, there's this island
off the coast of Labrador,

has nothing, not even a Shopper's.

I've been dating Denise,
from the video department.

Ohhh.

I don't get it.

She still hasn't broken up
with her old boyfriend, Jeff.

Polygraph guy?

Yes.

Oh-ho, Burt.

Wow, you beast.

Welcome to the doghouse.

Bah, don't worry about this,
I can fix it.

Really?

For a fellow resident of
the bone yard, no worries.

One phone call, it's done.

Thank you.
Thank you!

Jeff. Yeah, we need you down
here at detention, pronto.

There's a rumour going around
the Embassy that you are a mole.

And here we find you, mole,
in your mole hole

with two strangers.

Who are they?

- He called our agency.
- What?

He said he wanted a nice girl, classy.

So we met in the park.

He looked so cute in
his little trench coat.

And then we hit it off right
away and became good friends.

Yes.,

Yes, we-we did.

And who is this?

Ah, Andre likes to play,
but he doesn't like to pay.

Do you, Andre?

No, I don't like to pay.

It's a terrible habit.

That's where Maurice comes in.

Tell me, smart guy,

are you gonna pay up or do
things have to get physical?

Okay.

$38.

What the? You little son of a...

Not here, not now!

So this is why you've
been sneaking out, uh?

Oh, we had you all wrong.

As for you...

Do you have any nice Asian girls?

Sure, as well as a redhead
and a very cute Ligerian.

Thank you for taking care of me.

You're welcome,
my little Andre.

Little Andre.

By the way, loving the jacket, man.

Rock and roll.

Come on, Baby.

Ow!

Rock and roll.

Okay, let's nail this WikiLeaker.

- I'm not the leak.
- Tell that to science.

Jeff, let me cut to the chase.
Burt's been sleeping with Danielle.

That's awesome.
She's cute.

No, it's Denise.

- Right.
- What?

Yup. Red Rocket's the new game in town.

Your girl stepped out on you.

How long has this been going on?

Well, I'll just let you
two guys sort it out.

The important thing is Burt's
not the source of the leak.

He's just a hoouunnd!

Oh, nice work.

Thanks for having my back.

Oh, I couldn't let you down.
You're my best earner.

Ah, sacrifice!

I can't keep these
on any longer.

Easy, Tiger,
I'm off the clock.

Look, I'm sorry I said
those things earlier.

- Never lie to me.
- Okay, I'll be honest with you from now on.

- Thank you.
- That jacket's awful too.

- Okay.
- And you need a nose trimmer, seriously.

That's enough.

See? It's a slippery slope.

Okay, Stick Girl, you can drive.

Hopefully your elbows don't
poke a hole in the seat.

Oh, no, no. I never said
I wanted you to be honest with me.

I'm good with the lies, so
keep 'em comin', Superfly.

Done, Genius.

What happened?

I heard you were this close
to an unofficial execution.

We worked it out.
I feel like I got to know Jeff.

Once you get past the defences,
you see there's a powerful,

terrifying man in there that
I will never cross again.

I'm just glad I didn't
lose my best friend.

- I'm your best friend?
- Gotcha again. Master of deception.

Hey. Have you guys see
Claude's group email?

- We're coming up with call girl names
for Alex. - Nice.

So, how's Denise?

Oh, I don't think
I'll be seeing her again.

Good. I never liked her.
I don't do sweet and bubbly.

Let me go!

Stop the government lies!
Expose the corruption!

Information wants to be free!

Bye, Burt!

- She's the WikiLeaker?
- I could learn to like that girl.

Why are all the good ones
always dragged off to prison?

If I had a dime.

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