All language subtitles for Insecurity s01e12 Get Cranston.eng

I'm impressed.

In the time it took
to make our coffees,

the barista made three
science fiction references.

Really? I didn't notice.

He said,
"Greetings, Earthlings. "

- That didn't twig anything?
- Hm.

This your brother's car?
It's a total chick magnet.

Hell, no. This is my whip.

You gotta let
me drive it.

I don't know,
it's kinda my baby.

Eeuw!

Do you live in here?

- What? It's not that bad.
- Dammit!

Come on. Let me just move this
pizza box out the way.

Hey.

The coffee guy did this to me.
What's that, some kind of flirt?

No. It means live long
and prosper.

Oh. What a nice guy.

[ gunshot ]

Claude!

[ ♪ ]

InSecurity S01E11 Get Cranston
Sync and corrected by Kiasuseven www.addic7ed.com

♪ Well now the sun
ain't shinin' no more ♪

♪ I don't know why
but I've seen it before ♪

♪ Ain't got no joy
No man to lean on ♪

♪ He leaves my soul on
the floor like a doll ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪
♪ Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo ♪

Do you always wear a bulletproof
vest on coffee runs?

Yes. That way if I spill my
coffee, I don't get burned.

All right. Well, we've got to
find out who wants you dead.

Ah, probably the Libyans.

Or the Vatican
Secret Police.

Don't remind me.

That fender bender with
the Pope-mobile cost me dearly.

It was his fault, waving, when
he should have been looking.

New information. I don't think
it's Claude they're after.

I have strong reason to believe
the shooter's actually after Alex.

Oh, really? And what
makes you think that?

We just received this.

Let me see that.

"Alex Cranston,
you will die. "

"Legatio Lemma Totus"?

Does anyone speak Latin?

I do.

Or as the Latins would say,
"I-ay eaks-spay atin-lay. "

Does anyone speak
real Latin?

What? Don't look at me.
It's a dead language.

It looks like you
have a nemesis.

Okay, team, finding Alex's
stalker is our number one priority.

So, Alex, who'd want you dead?

Um, no one.

Oh, okay, there was this
one guy, an ex-KGB agent

who I pantsed at the UN.

Put him on the list.
Anyone else?

No.

Okay, then.

Ah, actually,
maybe Abdul El Fayed.

He did not like getting his butt handed
to him by an infidel in a miniskirt.

Add him too.

And there was that cell
of terrorist soccer moms.

All right.

So, we are up to 340
potential suspects,

including half the CIA,
your cousin,

and the local Gay Men's Choir.

Have we missed anyone?

Gord, the mail room guy.

Oh, yeah, he hates you.

What? No. Really?

Hey, Alex, here
is your mail.

It's sorted alphabetically,
removed the perfume strips,

and personal letters are on top,
just the way you like it.

Why, thank you, Gord.

Oops. Pretty good
today, almost.

Now, I'm just gonna go
ahead and move this M

in front of the N.
And, there, it's perfect.

Oh.

Add him to the list.

WOMAN:
It won't be long now.

[ nasal whistle ]

Enjoy your special
delivery, Alex Cranston.

[ nasal whistle ]
Legatio lemma totus.

- Ah, death threats. This brings me back.
- Yeah.

Claude, did you
ever have a nemesis?

- Yes. Yes. Her name was Estelle Bourgois.
- French spy?

No. She was our neighbour
in Montreal.

I'd plant daffodils
in the garden.

The next day she'd
have daffodils.

I put in a bird bath,
she put in a pond.

So, I put in a pool.
Then she set fire to my car.

It got ugly after that.

I've never had a nemesis.

- Really!
- That's impossible.

- If I didn't already have a
nemesis, you'll be mine. - Me too.

Thanks, guys.,

Obviously not
everyone hates me.

- Smell these.
- Mmm.

Oh, I would, but thanks
to Estelle Bourgois,

I no longer have a
sense of smell.

My sister sent them to cheer me up
with all this death threat business.

They say, "Alex Cranston.
Special Delivery. "

Give them to me!

- Really? Do I have to?
- Yes.

We're clear.

No sign of exploding stems,
poison petals or black mould.

There you go. Enjoy.

- What am I supposed to do with these?
- Potpourri?

Can I at least eat
the chocolates?

Don't touch that!

Ow!

Why? Is it poison?

Worse. Orange cream,

the most feared and hated
of all the chocolates.

I ate the rest.

I'll take my chances.
No, d-d-don't!

Oh.

Tastes like hand soap.

Oh. There's a seed in it!

My sister is so cheap.

Uh-oh.

A mystery package
addressed to "Burt Wilson. "

And it's written in blood.

Let's see what we got here.

A death threat and a picture
of me in a bathtub.

Chilling.

Burt, I know you sent
that to yourself.

What? No.

I saw you lick it sealed, and
the same picture is on your desk.

I just really
wanted a nemesis.

You can't force
these things.

One day you'll meet someone
and they'll just hate you.

That's how you
know it's real.

[ sinister music ]

[ ♪ ]

[ nasal whistle ]

Deadly and fattening.

[ nasal whistle ]

Enjoy the pie, Cranston.

How did I get this many enemies?

It's not like I'm mean
or anything.

[ laughs ]

Nice lid.

[ door closes ]

Easy does it, Cranny.

Stay frosty.

[ gasps ]
Jo-Jo!

I just did a sweep of
your condo. It's secure.

Where did you come from,
why are you here,

and how long were
you standing there?

Orders from Peter. Can't leave
the asset alone. 12 minutes.

Asset? That's you, Cranny.

Great. Well, the "asset" is
going to use the washroom.

[ yells ]
N'udu!

Claude, Burt,

get out of my closet.

Nice teddy bear
collection.

The big one scared me and
I accidentally broke this.

Look, guys, I really
appreciate what you're doing,

but I'm fine on my own.
I can protect myself.

Plus, I'm your boss, so I'm
ordering you to get outta here.

Come on, Burt. We'll check out
the halls and stairwells.

Sorry.

Breaking other
people's stuff.

Good first step
towards a nemesis.

Thanks.

I would feel much better if
you'd let me keep watch tonight.

No. Thank you.

[ smoke detector beeping ]

You sleep
with the asset.

[ coughing ]

- What is that?
- It's a pie.

And it's filled
with rat poison.

And a touch
of strychnine.

- How would you even know that?
- Smells like almonds.

I've made a few
in my day.

This person is more
dangerous than we thought.

We must get you
back to NISA.

Good plan. I authorize you
to run all traffic lights.

BURT: Hey, guys, you
left the door unlocked.

Not very secure.

Hello?

Where is everybody?

[ cell phone beeps ]

Ah, they're headed back
to NISA with the SUV.

So how do we get back?

Ah, with Alex's car.
A nice piece of iron.

Oooh, pie.

Ah-haw, sweet ride!

I call opposite
of shotgun.

- What's that?
- Driver.

You can't drive the car.
You're holding the pie.

Oh. This car is filthy.

She's got an open jar of pickled
beets in the front seat.

Ugh.

FEMALE VOICE:
Hello, Alex.

[ nasal whistle ]

GPS, cool.

I've rigged your car with
enough C4 to turn you into mist.

Huh?

[ nasal whistle ]
Prepare to die.

Hm. Less cool.

FEMALE VOICE: I've rigged the bomb
with weight sensors under both seats.

[ nasal whistle ]

Any attempt to exit the car
and you will die, Alex.

[ nasal whistle ]

What's that sound?

I'm guessing you've
figured out who I am.

[ nasal whistle ]
It's me, Penny.

Who?

Your old classmate. I lived
across from you in res.

I'm sure you can't forget
the volleyball incident

that left me with this.

[ nasal whistle ]

Aah, aah.
Turn that off.

And don't touch the stereo or
the car will explode and you die.

[ nasal whistle and laughter ]

I don't what's worse,
the bomb or the whistle.

The whistle, for sure.

Okay, this is starting
to get serious.

What do you mean
"starting to"?

He means that pie pushed
your threat level to red.

ALEX:
You guys have an office pool?

- It's helps boost morale.
- Not mine.

N'udu, you haven't put
in your 10 bucks.

- You know I'm good for it.
- Guys, this is my life.

I hope you get to keep it until
one week from tomorrow.

O- kay, we need to spend
less time on the office pool

and more time finding
this pie-baking psycho.

I'll get all hands on deck,
including NISA's global SWAT unit.

They're ready to be deployed
anywhere in the world.

Ah, they're a
good-looking bunch.

Handpicked them myself.
Sheila, too.

- She's a crack shot. You need
at least one of those. - Good to know.

N'udu, see what you can find
from this creepy letter.

JoJo, track the Latin.
Come on. Latin's so dry.

I'll get Claude and Burt to...
Wait, where are Claude and Burt?

[ nasal whistle throughout ] I finally
get a seat next to Greg Winarski...

- Cut the blue wire.
- ... and next you're making out...

- Or maybe the red wire.
Or the yellow wire? - Come on.

He was supposed
to be my first...

That takes care of the speakers.
But, now, about that bomb.

[ phone rings ]
Oh! It's my phone.

- No! Don't answer!
- What are you doing?

Saving our lives.

No, no, no, no, no!

Look, you may have been right
about the stereo wires,

but you clearly are
not aware that cell phones

can be used to
detonate bombs!

The Whistler already told us the
detonator's attached to our seat.

- Oh!
- Oh!

No answer from Claude
or Burt. Where are they?

They're probably
on their way back.

Hey, I know your cage is rattled,
but I was talking to the Minister.

He said most agents don't get death
threats this early in their career.

Uh, thanks.

He said keep up the good work,
you'll probably be dead by 40.

- Well, that's nice of him to say.
- You're doing great.

Looks like the suspect
might have been a classmate

of yours from the
University of Ottawa.

"Legatio Lemma Totus" is the motto
for the Criminal Psychology Department.

A fellow Crim-Psy?
That can't be.

We took an oath never to use what
we learned against each other.

We traced the letters
on the death threat.

They all come from one magazine,
Canadian Volleyballer.

I've played volleyball all my
life. Damn good outside hitter.

JoJo, find the magazine's
subscription list.

There can't be that many
people who pay to read this.

Fourteen million.

Whoa. That's half of Canada.

Okay, cross-reference that
list with Crim-Psy grads.

I'm on it.

Oh, don't worry, kiddo.
We'll figure it out.

Hey, when this is all settled,

we should play
some serious beach.

I'm sorry I threw the
phones out the window,

but if you'd seen that
YouTube video that I saw.

Hey, I didn't want it
to end this way either.

I had hopes
and dreams too.

- For one thing, I wanted an
electric scooter. - Hey.

Hm?

Alex has AutoStar.

FEMALE VOICE:
How y'all doin'?

This is Sherry with AutoStar,
Alabama Call Centre.

- Help us! There's a bomb in the car!
- Calm down.

Is this Alex Cranston
I'm talking to?

We are friends
of Alex, yeah.

I'm only authorized to speak
to Miss Alex Cranston.

We'd get her on the line,
but we don't have any phones.

Sherry, I can
explain that.

See, there's this
YouTube video...

Sherry, this is a matter
of life and death.

You absolutely need to get
in touch with Alex Cranston

at this number.

All right, I'll do ya a
favour, but I need a pen.

Harold, y'all got
a pen over there?

After cross-referencing the evidence,
it boils down to four people.

Let's split into teams and
run these suspects down.

[ cell phone rings ]
Alabama area code?

Hold on. It might be the killer.
A lotta freaks in Alabama.

We'll trace the call.

Now, stand by, Swat Team.
Target, Alabama.

We're about to go hot.

Hello, anyone there?

Hello.

- Hello. Alex Cranston?
- Yes.

I have a Clod and a Burt
trapped in your car.

God, she's got
Claude and Burt.

Go hot! Go hot! Deploy with
extreme prejudice! Go hot!

Let me talk to them.

I can't, unless you
give me something.

What does this monster want?
What do you want?

Your authorization number.

Go! Go! Go!
[ gunshots and screaming ]

NISA Global Swat Team!
Down on the ground, now!

Do not move your hands
from your head.

Ah-ha-ha.
That's my team.

Oh, crap. That wasn't the
killer, that was AutoStar,

my in-car emergency service.

Claude and Burt
must be in my car!

Hm.

Slowly. You want
the weight to be even.

Keep the pressure
on the seat.

It worked.

- It worked! We're going to live!
- Quiet, Burt.

You'll tip over the junk
and set off the bomb.

Easy!

How much do you weigh?

Uh, 170?

Now's not the time
to lie about this.

Uh, 180?

Oh, okay, 195.

Let's say two.

One, two, three.

[ honk ]
- Aah! - Aah!

It's over!

Ah, here she is.

- You guys okay?
- Yeah, we're good.

I take back everything
I said about wanting a nemesis.

You got a doozy.

It turns out to be your old
college pal, Penny, from res.

Penny? Huh, not
ringing a bell.

But a lot of us went by
nicknames in Crim-Psy.

They called me "Button"
because I was cute as a...

- you guys don't need to know that.
- No, we don't.

Well, whoever it was wanted you
and this car blown to bits.

Maybe we should give
them what they want.

NEWSCASTER:
Troubling news today.

[ nasal whistle ]

A car bomb went off in Ottawa,

critically injuring its owner,
Alex Cranston,

a local travel agent, who
remains in serious condition.

[ nasal whistle ]
Damn it!

Doctors say she's expected
to make a full recovery

at the Ottawa Civic Hospital,
Trauma Unit, 4th Floor,

Room 402, bed closest to
the door. She's the blonde.

[ nasal whistle ]

Well, perhaps it's time
that we met face-to-needle.

In other news,
another deadly attack

on an AutoStar customer
service agent,

as a mystery team
of psychopaths

goes on a rampage
in Alabama.

[ sinister music ]

[ ♪ ]

Gotcha!

Drop the needle!

NISA! Don't move!

Uh, N'udu, you might want to
tie up your hospital gown, hm?

Nobody's asking you to look.
And yet I can't turn away.

So, Penny.

Yeah, still don't
remember you. Huh?

Don't try to deny it.

We caught you red handed
trying to kill Alex.

Oh, yeah, I did it.

I hate her.

I've always hated her,
with her stupid face

and her stupid hands
and her goddamn legs.

She'll pay!

Why don't you get some rest?
We'll take care of El Psycho.

Thanks. I have to admit,
now that it's over,

this whole stalker thing
really freaked me out.

I'd be freaked too if some chick
broke into my condo and boiled a bunny.

- That was Fatal Attraction.
- Still.

- Goodnight.
- Night.

So, why were you
after Alex?

She was in the way.

Do you notice something
weird about her?

- Claude, my friend, all women are
mysteries to me. - I feel ya, bro.

No. There's no whistle
when she breathes.

[ whispering ]
They were all in the way.

They? Who are you talking about?

The burn victims.

The stupid physiotherapists
and those smug little babies.

An angel told me to
wipe them all out.

[ giggling ]

Oh, boy.

This isn't the
right nutcase.

Oh, no. Alex!

[ nasal whistle ]

[ nasal whistle throughout ]

Who are you?

I'm Penny.
You don't recognize me?

No. I thought we caught Penny.
Obviously we didn't.

Why are we in
my apartment?

This is my apartment.

I've done it up
exactly like yours.

I'm going to have everything
that you have,

everything that you've
taken from me.

[ nasal whistle ]

O- kay, my place
doesn't have that.

Oh. Penny, huh?

Yes!

We were classmates!

Yeah. I have to admit,

University was a bit
of a blur for me.

It started Frosh Week
and kinda went from there.

Maybe this will
jog your memory!

Oh, that's a good
picture of me.

Who's that girl with
the broken nose?

You six-packed me in
the face during tryouts,

causing permanent damage
to my left nostril.

[ nasal whistle ]

I've kept this
as a reminder.

I thought the nose whistle would
have been enough of a reminder.

Not that it's bad.

I mean, it's, uh,
it's-it's kind of soothing.

I've been told plenty of times,
it's not soothing.

I've been kicked out of
movie theatres, funerals,

the library, even the zoo!

They said the sound drove
the koala bears to madness.

[ nasal whistle ]

Look, Penny, I'm really
sorry about your nose.

But, in fairness,
it is volleyball.

- People get smashed in the face
all the time. - Shut up!

Let's just relax.

I'll get you the name of NISA's
top nose reconstruction guy

and a psychiatrist
who will help you see

that this is not
really my fault.

[ nasal whistle ] It's time for
you to pay for what you did to me.

[ nasal whistle ]

I'm really sorry
about this, but...

Noooo!

Uoaaah!

[ nasal whistle ]

Booya! Whoooo!

[ laughs ]

I have not done that since
I smashed Penny Cryer

in the face during tryouts.

Ooh. Oh, Penny!
Penny Cryer.

Now I remember you.

[ double nasal whistle ]
My good nostril!

Again, apologies.

[ nasal whistles ]

How's my little
survivor doing?

Still in one piece.

If I've learned
anything from all this,

it's to show everyone
in my life more respect.

Mail.

Why, thank you, Gord.
Great work.

Aach, look at this.

Espionage Illustrated
starts with an 'E',

so why is it after Maclean's?
Goddammit, Gord!

Gord?

Gord!

Gord.

Here we go, buddy,
the wait is over.

Ice cream, fresh coffee,
this is the way to do it.

Cheers.

It's poison.

She's just saying that.

Subtitle by: Kiasuseven

Repair and Synchronization by
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