Original subtitles

* Cinderella dressed in yellow

* Went upstairs to kiss a fellow

How you ladies doin' today?

Take it easy now.

* By mistake she kissed a snake

* How many doctors did it take *

Wait for me.

Meet a real fab family,

the Carrolls of Charleston, South Carolina.

I'm a fanatic about clean clothes.

That's why I'm glad for Fab.

Dummies. Borax won't work unless you put active enzymes.

You geek! How do you know all that?

I'm not a geek.

Yes, you are.

Am not. Are, too.

I'll show you geeky.

Hurry up! It's comin' on!

Batman!

* Batman

Stupid old TV!

Holy bad reception, Batman. I'll fix it.

* Batman, Batman

Hurry up or we'll miss it!

Hurry!

Where worms always go.

Down into the earth.

Is it working?

No, not yet.

Whoa!

That's it. Don't move.

Your glasses!

Remember, never hit a man with glasses.

Even better. Perfect!

Yes! Curses!

Yeah!

Yeah, keep flushing!

Yeah.

Back to back.

Who's playing with the toilet?

Kevin, is that you?

Oh! Oh, my Lord.

Boys, I'm gonna peel the skin off of your behind,

boil it and make soup!

To the Bat-poles!

What did I say?

Stay out

of my kitchen!

* Great Scott

* Here's someone new on the block

* No badder spider could compare to this top-notch hero

* He's everyday people, defendin' all good, destroyin' all evil

* Puttin' in work on the bad guys and doin' pretty good

* So it's wise to recognize

* Recognize what?

* That he's number one and takes second to none

* And, uh, if you don't know here he comes

* Blankman

* Here he comes So watch out

* Blankman

* Here he comes

* Blankman

* Blankman

* Here he comes

* Blankman

* Blankman

* Blankman

* Blankman

* Yo, it's that fool again

* The one with the cape on his back

* Blankman

* Yo, cool, where's fool?

* Blankman

Cut that out down there, or I'm callin' the police!

Shut up, you crusty old bitch!

That must be your mama you're thinkin' about!

Thanks for the help, lady!

I've been hurt!

Hey, get off the car, you bum!

Kevin, is that your grandma?

Shh!

Go, go, go, go!

Oh, boy, good mornin', Grandma.

Don't "good mornin'" me.

You could have at least fed that little heifer.

Makin' all that noise late last night.

It's a good thing you so quick,

otherwise, I never would have got no sleep.

You know, they were beatin' up a man in the alley this morning.

Cops did nothin'.

Well, do you blame 'em? They haven't been paid in two weeks.

All that's gonna change when Assemblyman Harris is elected mayor.

You just watch.

Grandma, one man cannot save the world.

I don't live in the world, I live in this neighborhood,

and Harris is the only candidate to ever set foot in it.

Now what you want for breakfast?

I'll just have some coffee 'cause I gotta run.

All you do is run. Now, come on, sit down.

Let your grandmother fix you a nice, hot meal.

We're not kids anymore, Grandma,

we're grown, remember?

Good morning, Grandma.

Morning, poopski.

Morning, Kevin.

Aw, Darryl, man, come on!

You didn't sleep well last night, did you?

I heard you in there talkin' to yourself.

Yeah. I was working on my latest creation.

Sound-activated,

aerodynamic, insect predator.

A what?

A flying flycatcher.

Oh, you are a genius!

Just like your mama, may angels bless her soul.

One of these days, Baby Huey over there

is gonna blow us up with one of those damn inventions.

Shouldn't you be at work already?

Wait, Kevin, I got somethin' for you.

I gotta go.

No, it's okay, J-5 will bring it.

Okay, make that turn, make the turn.

Watch out for Grandma.

Here you go. Watch the wall. Watch the wall.

I've gotta oil his ball bearings.

You need to throw that in the trash with the rest of that junk.

Here you go.

What is that?

Oh, it's a two-way transceiver radio belt.

See, you put this in your ear,

and then you talk into the buckle.

It also has a radio tracking device.

You get that out of my face.

I'm not wearin' that crap!

Please, Kevin?

No!

Kevin, come here.

Grandma, he is retarded.

Come here.

He needs to invent some hair for that bald head of his.

Ow!

You will wear that belt.

I am not going to say...

No!

Do as I say!

Uh, Darryl, give me the belt. I'm gonna wear it, man.

No, you don't have to wear my stupid old belt

if you don't want to.

Uh, Darryl, please.

May I wear your belt?

Are you really sure that you really, really want to?

Uh, yeah. I'm...I'm...I'm

really, really sure I would like to wear your belt.

'Cause you really, really don't have to

if you really, really don't want to.

I would really, really be upset if you...

Give me the damn belt!

This is great, Kevin.

Now we can talk together all day long.

Yeah. Uh, I'm gonna be home kinda late.

I got a karate class.

I'll radio you in about an hour.

And then every hour on the hour after that,

just to work all the bugs out.

Yeah, well, if I'm not there, leave a message.

You'll be there.

I'll track you down.

* A super hero from the ghetto's lookin' out for me

* Is he real or are my eyes just deceivin' me

* Can he fly into the air?

* Can he leap a flight of stairs?

* Can he really win the fight?

* Can he really save my life?

* Man, that boy Blankman is cool with me

* Blankman, Blankman

Hey, wait!

Ah, thank you.

* Blankman helped me out, helped my mama out

* Helped my grandmother out

Great day, isn't it?

Well, why don't we see?

"GM lays off 500 more employees.

"A post office worker wipes out an entire zip code,

"and the police are threatening to walk out on a strike."

I just meant the, uh, sun was gonna shine.

I hadn't got to the lame come-on section yet.

Oh.

So I guess we're probably gonna talk later, right?

Yeah, she's shy.

Who let you out the Hard Edition dungeon?

This is the newsroom, man.

So you know she's out your league.

Stevens,

they're all outta your league.

Oh, I heard you won a...a toaster at sperm bank.

Gotta go, gotta run.

Down, brother. Down into the basement.

Bye, basement boy.

Yeah! Blood on the hands! Blood on the hands!

Yes! Lift him out of the trunk.

Lift him out of the trunk.

Yeah! Hear that bone break?

That's journalism, my friend!

That's journalism! Walker!

I watched your piece on the mayor last night.

Boring!

Have you lost your goddamn mind?

Got no angle, no edge!

Listen.

If you can't get anything real,

then go to the board.

The Vice President

and an alien

and S&M sex!

Now, that's a great story.

Look, my sources connect Mayor Cates

to Michael Minelli and organized crime.

My sources

link Mayor Cates to Michael Minelli.

Who you gonna interview for that? Cates?

He won't talk to us

since we made up that shit about him

on the sheep farm.

Nope. Minelli.

Right.

You get an interview with Michael Minelli,

I'll promote your ass so high,

you'll be shittin' off the moon.

In the meantime,

I forbid you to watch any more 60 Minutes.

Remember, I want edge.

It's not Hard Edition, it's...

Hard Edge-dition. Right.

That's my boy!

Boy?

Shit, I'm a man.

What? Nothin'.

This is great.

This is gonna be perfect.

Yeah!

Darryl.

This was a toaster

when Mrs. Reem brought it in.

What is it now?

Why, it's better than a toaster, Mr. Crudd.

It's a toaster plus.

See, wasted heat from the toast rises up to the pan,

cooking the egg, which, in turn, heats the coffee.

Once the coffee starts to percolate,

the eggs flip out onto the toast.

Just make it a toaster again.

Okay.

Now, what is that?

It's a sound-activated aerodynamic, insect predator, sir.

I don't like the looks of that.

Don't be afraid. It's like a dog.

If you run from it, it'll...it'll chase ya.

But, Darryl, I want that out of here.

You need to be fixing things.

Now, look at that mess!

What are you doing with that thing?

Down, boy.

Now, what happened? Is...is that all right there?

Well, apparently the fly left the room.

It's activated by the buzz.

You are in big trouble.

Now, you just clean up this mess.

Yes, Mr. Crudd.

Yes, so what's the plus and minus on it?

Good. That's great news. But, yeah, give it to Mark.

Hey, listen up, everybody!

Just got our latest poll results,

and we're five points up!

Thanks to you!

And I want to promise you

that when we're elected,

nothing is gonna stand in the way

of the things that we promise to do in this campaign.

And that's a guarantee.

Harris! Harris! Harris! Harris!

What are you doing here?

The...The garbage goes in the back!

Lady, what are you...

Give me that!

Get your hands off of her.

I want to wish Mr. Harris good luck.

I understand you're doin' well in the polls.

Maybe we can talk somewhere private, huh?

Anything you have to say to me,

you can say in front of these people. We have no secrets.

Well, all right, uh,

I understand you're gonna need some campaign contributions,

and I would like to be one of the ones to contribute.

A cool million dollars.

Save your money, Mr. Minelli.

You can't buy me.

How about I rent you for a couple of years.

You can't even window-shop.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've got a press conference to attend to.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Hey, Harris, I wanna talk to you.

You know, Harris. Hey, Harris,

don't walk away with...

Nice office you got here.

Don't work too hard.

Especially you, lady. Life is short.

So must be that thing in your pants.

Yeah. See ya, Minelli.

Oh. Caught me stealing coffee.

Yeah, I hear the coffee downstairs

is even greasier than the reporting.

All right, so now you know I work at Hard Edition.

Uh-huh. I hear you're actually a pretty good cameraman.

You've been asking about me, haven't you?

I'll give you my card. You don't gotta sneak around.

Here, uh, the digits are right here.

The first one's the office,

the other one's the important one.

That's the phone by the bed.

Oh, I bet that one doesn't ring much.

I'll think about it.

Yes!

Kevin, it's me. Come in. Over.

What?

Kevin, are you there? Over.

Darryl, not now, please.

Kevin, I can't hear you.

You have to talk into the buckle. Over.

I said, not right now, okay? I'm busy.

Closer, I can't hear you, buddy.

Not now, please.

Closer. Over.

Not now, I'm busy.

Closer. Roger.

Look, this is as close as I can talk, man, okay?

I would love to play with you,

but now is not the time.

I got work to do.

So when I finish my work,

uh, we'll go in the bathroom. I'll play with you then.

You know, make sure everything's working,

and...and we can check you out...

I thought about it,

and I just changed my mind.

I wasn't talkin' to my jammy.

Oh, damn.

$5 from the Johnsons.

They don't have two nickels to rub together,

and they still pitched in.

People know a good cause

when they see one.

Nobody moves! Give me all your money!

Now! That's it.

That, too. Hand it over.

They're checks.

Hand it over.

You ought to think about showering

if you want to remain anonymous.

Good evening.

Michael Minelli sends his regards.

* When your burdens

* Seem to weigh you down

* Or the road

* It seems too far to carry on

* Just look to me

* And you will find your help

* Which cometh from the Lord

* Hold on

* Even when you feel you can't go on

* You don't have to moan

* Let your soul cry up

* To the Lord

* Cry on

* Cry

Come on, come on. Give me that!

Don't! What are you doing?

Darryl, talk.

You haven't said a word all night.

What are you doing? Stop it!

Come on, give me the purse, lady!

Help me, somebody!

Come here!

Get outta here!

He's got a knife! He's got a knife!

Oh, my God! I'm gonna die!

Thank you, young man. Thank you.

The rest of you ain't shit!

Gee whiz, Kevin,

look what's happenin' to our neighborhood.

They're gamblin' right out in the open.

They're just throwin' bones, man. They always do that.

Kevin, look at that car.

They have no respect for the law anymore.

Gee whiz, they're selling drugs

right across the street from our house!

Darryl, it's a crack house.

That's what they do, sell crack.

Well, they shouldn't be doin' that.

Darryl, that's a crack house!

You let... Come here.

Darryl, you can't walk in no crack house, man!

Those people are animals.

They would sell their own babies for a hit.

That's why somebody needs to close that place down.

Well, I got news for you, Urkel.

You don't need a permit to open up a crack house.

You close that one down,

another one will open up right next door.

You can't walk around like some vigilante.

Why not? Batman did it!

Batman?

Darryl, that was fantasy. He had everything.

You live in reality. You got nothin'.

You're no Batman.

Maybe I oughta be.

Bring your goofy ass on!

It's politics as usual in the Mayor's office.

Newly elected mayor Marvin Harris

has reappointed to the City Building Commission

several reputed associates of crime lord Michael Minelli.

So much for campaign promises.

In other news, with no end to the budget crisis in sight,

unpaid police continue a citywide work slowdown,

which raises the question,

as crime escalates, who will keep our streets safe?

I'm Kimberly Jonz.

And I'm saying good night.

* Yet another night

* You're doin' the best you can

* To save the world we live in

* If you do it right

* Someone needs a helping hand

* You've got one to be giving

* Don't wait around for someone else

* You can make it happen by yourself

* Hey, yeah, yeah

* Gonna show the rest, gotta take a chance

* You can change the world *

What?

Darryl.

What?

Darryl, what's... What's goin' on?

What are you doin' in there?

I'm busy.

Come on, come on, come on.

Stop all that noise. Let's go back to bed.

Wait. Kevin, don't go yet.

I want to show you somethin'.

Kevin, are you ready?

Well, you better be,

because here I come!

Look! I'm a crime fighter!

What do you think?

If you walk out on the street like that,

they gonna arrest you and lock you in the nuthouse.

No, Kevin, this is real. The costume is bulletproof.

Besides, look at all these great gadgets I got.

See, these are handcuffs.

I got stink bombs

made from concentrated flatulence.

I collected it while you were sleepin'.

Ah! Powerful stuff.

And, Kevin, look at these.

Electric nunchakus.

Hey! Hey!

Sorry.

Man, this is a nightmare.

No, Kevin Walker,

the best is yet to come.

I made you an outfit, too.

J-5, retrieve crime-fighting outfit.

All right, that's it. Get out.

Get out, get out now, Darryl!

Kevin,

remember you said

Batman had a costume and gadgets? Well?

No, I said Batman had money.

Which is why I gotta go back to bed

to wake up to make some for me and you.

Kevin, don't you want to make the world a safer place?

I've been up all night.

Ever since my grandmother died,

he's just gettin' worse and worse.

I got bills to pay.

I can't even afford to pay for the funeral.

How's that lesbian necrophiliac story comin'?

Thanks for the love.

Hello, Betty!

Hello.

Now, what are you doin' down here?

I came to see if you were busy tonight.

I'm not busy tonight. What do you wanna do? You wanna go out to eat?

Well, it's not exactly what I had in mind.

I've got a guy who's gonna snitch on Michael Minelli tonight,

and my best cameraman's sick, so I'm desperate.

So you come to me, huh?

I know it's not exactly sheep whipping

or public spankings, but it's a job.

And, if things go well, it could be full-time.

Look, you said you wanted to do real news, right?

So here's your chance.

You in or out?

I'm in.

I'm not in exactly where I want to be, but I'm in.

Darryl!

Darryl, I got great news! I got a real news assignment!

Darryl?

Darryl.

Darryl, I got a real job.

Oh, my God.

Car 6239, report to 425 West 10th Street.

Disturbance in alley of building.

Stop! Hey, wait, wait for me!

Wait! Hold on!

Driver, quick, take me to 10th Street, on the double.

That's not my route. I'm goin' to the South Side.

You don't understand. There are innocent lives at stake.

I need your assistance. I'm a crime fighter.

Yeah, yeah, sure you are.

Listen, pal, look in the back.

You're a freak just like the rest of them.

Why don't you get in the back or get out.

Driver, take me to 10th Street now!

Get outta here!

Hey!

I want my money, girl!

I don't have it, Biff, I swear.

Listen. Listen!

You better come up with it

or I'm gonna have to slap you around.

You understand me?

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

What the hell is this? Is the circus in town?

Man, get outta here before I hurt you.

Let the lady go.

You wanna take her place?

No.

But I will if I have to.

Don't you know, man,

I'll beat you like you're one of my bitches?

Slap me around and call me Susan.

I warned you, Susan.

Someone should help that lady!

You give up?

Or you want me to get rough with ya?

Listen, you little creep,

you got three seconds

to get the hell outta here!

One...

Two, three.

Go ahead and shoot me.

Listen! Look what you made me do now!

I had to kill a guy in this goddamn alley! Give me my money!

Hoo-hoo!

Want to try it again, pal?

What the hell are you?

Why don't you shoot him in the head?

Yeah, shoot him in the head.

That's right.

I'm gonna shoot him in the head.

Uh-oh.

Kevin!

Let's get out of here, Darryl. Come on.

Don't call me by my real name!

You're blowing my secret identity.

Nobody knows who you are. Let's go, loonyman.

I can't believe you,

wearing that stupid costume.

I almost had him, Kevin.

Did you like what I did?

Yeah. That's what I was gonna do.

That was my Bruce Lee stuff.

I was gonna karate chop him right in his...

Yeah, right. Just come on.

Hey, Chuck.

You got to hear this.

Tell him who you come to see.

I want to speak to the Commissioner.

Tell him why. Tell him why.

Duh. I'm a crime fighter.

And I had a run-in with some punks last night,

and I'm trying to get the cooperation of the police

as I take these street punks down.

Wait a minute. I don't see what's so funny.

What about your name? Tell him your name.

Okay, I don't have one yet,

but I'm leanin' towards Brotherman.

Brotherman!

Is someone behind me? What's the joke?

I got a name for ya.

How 'bout Shitheadman?

I wanna see the Commissioner.

The Commissioner!

I'll go get him!

Oh, oh, Commissioner?

Shitheadman's here to see you!

He's busy.

It's not a joke!

I'm not leaving here, gosh darn it,

until I see the Commissioner!

The judge said he can go as long as you take him to a shrink.

Thanks a lot, Officer.

Bye, guys. And remember what I said.

A life of crime is a waste of what?

Eat me! Take a hike!

Suck my shit!

Up your nose! Sit on it!

Really think I reached a couple of them.

Okay, Darryl, what is this?

That's an aerial view of the Fiji Islands.

Okay, and this?

A decorative Incan burial mask.

And these?

Hmm, that's a tough one. Uh...

Um...

I'm gonna pass.

Sure you wanna pass?

Okay.

The South American Twitsue butterfly.

I gotta tell you, Kevin,

not only... Look at this, not only is your brother normal,

he's...he's actually rather brilliant.

The only problem I see

is that he's, you know, a geek.

No. Uh-uh. No, no, no, no, no.

Now, he's got problems.

He thinks he's a super hero.

Tell him how you're a super hero.

I'm not a super hero, silly billy.

All right, you just gonna chump me, right?

Darryl, tell him how you fight crime.

Kevin,

I'm an ordinary citizen. The police fight crimes.

What's gotten into you lately?

He is a super hero.

See, because last night when we were fighting crime,

he gets shot, pow!

Bullets bounce right off of him.

See, 'cause he invented this, uh, jacket, makes the bullets bounce off.

I can't get any sleep lately, 'cause of him, right?

Plus, there's this female at my workplace,

she thinks I'm not right,

'cause she caught me in the xerox room talking to my nuts.

You were talking to your testicles?

No, no, I was talking to Darryl,

but it was through my belt buckle.

You were talking to your brother Darryl's testicles?

No, no, no, no.

Tell me about your mother, Kevin.

Yo, man, you say one more thing about my mama,

I will jump, snap, mule-kick you right in the side of your head!

There's a lot of anger here.

Is there this much anger around the house?

Dr. Norris, it's like living with a swollen Gary Coleman.

Darryl, why did you do that?

Now that doctor thinks I'm crazy.

Why didn't you tell him about the super hero thing?

Oh, yeah, and give away my secret identity?

So you're... So you're still not gonna give this up?

Kevin, this is my calling.

I have to make the world a safer place for my children.

Your children?

You got to be with a woman first!

You got to knock some boots, man!

You a virgin!

No, I'm a gentleman.

Now, this is obviously something that,

that you gotta do

in order to work through Grandma's death.

Now, if that's what you got to do, fine,

but we will do this together.

But we gonna do it my way.

Okay, Karateman.

What?

That's your crime-fighter name.

Uh-huh, no. I don't... Don't call me that.

You call this fighting crime?

Housing patrol?

Kevin, can't we at least wear the costumes?

Hell, no.

I ain't puttin' on them stupid costumes, man.

Help me! Help me! You gotta help me.

What's wrong? Somebody's following you?

No, no. The lady in my building, she needs help.

Holy needy neighbor!

Was she gettin' kidnapped?

No! Her house is on fire?

No, she's stuck in an elevator.

All right. We got a situation.

You're gonna help her, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, what building is she in?

Down there. Follow me.

Where you goin'?

I gotta get something. I'll be right back.

Help! Is anyone there?

Uh, look, we're gonna try and get you out as soon as we can,

but you gotta be patient, okay?

Step back.

What's that?

It's called the speculum of life.

Here.

Insertion, come on!

Help!

Okay, step back. There's fire in the hole.

I'm going in.

Whoa! Come on!

Quick, grab on. I'll lower us down.

Oh, sure, do it your own way.

Uh-oh, she's pregnant.

We're gonna need an ambulance.

Don't worry, I'll radio for help.

I'm in labor!

I'm gonna have this baby right now!

Mayday! Mayday!

We've got a pregnant situation here. 13 Fillmore Street.

I need assistance now, please.

Okay, hang on, I'm comin' down. Just hang on.

* I'm almost there now, I'm almost there now

* Just hang on, just hang on

* I'm almost there, I'm coming *

Just keep breathin'.

Okay, help is on its way. What are we gonna do?

I think we're gonna have to deliver this baby.

We can't do that. We'll have to see her thing.

Get down there and catch this baby.

It's so ugly.

Just do it!

Push. Take my hand.

You have a big finger.

Thank you.

Whatever you're doing, it's working.

I'm starting to see something.

I see a head! It's coming!

It's a boy! It's a boy.

I'm a father.

Could you let go of my finger now?

All right.

Where's the baby?

He's bringing him up. He delivered him.

He saved me.

Bravo!

Wonderful.

Great photo. You're a hero.

How precious.

That's a cutie.

Ah, look at him.

You were wonderful. Who are you?

What?

Um, he's gone blank, ma'am.

Oh.

Blankman.

Oh.

You're a true hero, Blankman.

Blankman.

Yeah.

* Super hero

* Yeah

* Yeah

* I am lucky if I learn to read and write

* Where I live you must first learn to stand and fight

* I'm the product of the system I'm aware

* 'Cause my name

* Don't care

* Nobody cares

* I will be a super hero

* Be a super hero

* Now, you must understand

* Want you all to understand

* Be a super hero

* Well, well, well

* Just give me half a chance

* Yeah

* Listen to my band

Help, Blankman! Help!

Fifi's stuck under the house.

Don't worry. I'll save your little puppy.

Please, save him. Please, please, please.

* There's so much I can and really want to do

Hi, Fifi.

* But I cannot until I get through

* To you

Fifi!

Come on. Give me the money. Come on.

* You must understand

Hurry up.

* Please understand

* Be a super hero

* Just give me half a chance

* Just give me half a chance

* Listen to my band

And our closing story is a hopeful one for a change.

It's about a caped crusader who calls himself Blankman.

Numerous reports have come in from police and citizens

about his heroic exploits.

In a city where joblessness and lawlessness run rampant,

it's hard to believe that goodness is actually coming back in style.

Well, if it is, this reporter just wants to say thanks.

Keep doing what you're doing.

Apparently, one man can make a difference.

Minelli wants to see you.

Good. I want to see him, too.

Gentlemen.

How you doin', Mr. Mayor?

Listen, the DA Is investigating that Civic Center thing,

so I want to shut that thing down now.

Ah, don't worry about no witnesses or anything though,

'cause, uh, we're gonna take care of that.

Not only will the investigation continue,

but I'm gonna recommend to the District Attorney

that he issue a warrant for your arrest on bribery and extortion.

You're kidding me, right? What, are you bluffin'?

Oh, you're negotiating.

You're not kiddin' me. You're not bluffin'.

You're not negotiatin'.

You're askin' for trouble?

Yeah.

I'm asking for trouble.

You're gonna get it.

What is all this stuff?

Neat, isn't it, Kevin?

People keep sending this stuff to Blankman as a gift.

They even sent money.

Yeah? Really? How much?

Yeah, one guy sent $5,000.

Great! Where's it at?

I gave it back.

I told him, hey, send me all your appliances instead.

I mean, who needs...

Who needs money

when you got neat stuff like this.

Let's see that. Now, now, now, what is this?

That's a lower half of a...a roller blade.

Wow!

The...The... The lower half of a...

The bottom. The bottom.

Have you lost your mind?

I guess we know you lost your damn...

Get this shit out of here!

Get all of it out! All of it, Darryl!

Get this stuff out, man!

Give me that!

What'd I just throw out there?

Your radio.

My... Darryl. Darryl!

Come here, Darryl! Open up, Darryl.

Open this door!

* There's a magic in your heart

* If you open it you'll see

* A shining little face

* That smiles for you and me *

Wait up, J-5. Wait up.

We gotta find us a fortress of solitude.

So what do you think, J-5? The Blank-store?

Nah, you're right.

Smells like urine.

What do you think, J-5? The Blank-stop?

Nah?

You're right. It'd be too cold in the winter.

An abandoned old subway station.

This is perfect.

Wait up, J-5.

This could be the center of our citadel of crime fighting!

The Blank-station.

Yeah.

Look, I think we should do a follow-up

on the Minelli scandal.

He's gone underground.

The FBI has frozen all of his accounts.

No, no, no, listen.

I know, everybody's been trying to get an interview

with Minelli for years, right?

But I think what this city needs is a more uplifting story.

I want to do an interview with Blankman.

Blankman?

Yeah, he's great for this city.

He...He...He appears out of nowhere,

he does a good deed, then he just disappears.

He...He doesn't do interviews.

He doesn't seek publicity. He doesn't...

Take money. Yeah, I know.

Now,

the question is,

is he really Mr. Wonderful or what?

So how do we find him?

How do we track him down? Who knows him?

And most important, how do we get him to talk?

Well, um,

I can get you a one-on-one with Blankman.

You can? How?

Well, I just have to employ

certain top secret journalistic techniques at my disposal.

Please! Please, Darryl, do this interview.

Nope. I can't do it. Sorry.

Blankman avoids the press.

He doesn't do this for recognition.

Well, then do it for me. I'm trying to make an impression.

Kevin, me, I'd do anything for you.

It's Blankman.

He's got a code.

Don't give me that double identity stuff!

Now either you're gonna do this interview

or...or Blankman and Darryl gonna be livin' at the damn train station!

I'm... I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just...Just...

Just think about it.

Little buddy?

Okay. I'll do it.

Tell her, meet me at the 14th Street station at 6:00.

You got it!

Alone. Okay.

And tell her to wear a carnation.

Why a carnation?

You wouldn't understand.

Yes!

Quick, jump on.

It's rush hour. There's a speeding train right behind me.

Come on, hurry up. Don't be afraid.

Don't touch the third rail or you're dead.

Come on!

Uh-oh. Looks like the 13's comin' out of the station.

Better switch tracks. Hold on.

What is this thing?

Oh, it's the Blank-wheel.

Where are we going?

What?

I said, where are we going?

I can't hear you. Wait, let me turn the engine off.

What'd you say?

I said, where are we going?

Oh, to the Blank-station.

This is great!

Huh?

I said, this is great!

I can't hear you!

Wait, let me turn the engine off!

What'd you say?

I said, this is great.

Oh!

What?

Never mind!

I can't hear you.

Never mind!

* Pretty lady what's your name?

* Don't talk about it

* I want your number

* Just come and spend the night with me, boy

* Pretty lady Hey, what's your name?

* Don't talk about it

* I want your number

* Just come and spend the night with me, boy

* Pretty, pretty lady

Whoa! Hey!

* All I want to know

* Is can I have your name so we can go

* I want to swing this life, I don't want to wonder

* I need one thing from ya, give me your number

* Pretty lady

* Oh, baby, baby

* Hey, what's your name?

* Oh, yeah

* I want your number

* Just come and spend the night with me, boy

* Pretty lady, oh, baby

* Hey, what's your name?

* Baby, baby

* What's your number?

Wow, that was a great ride.

I was starting to get a little dizzy.

Sorry about that, but I had to make sure that you didn't remember

the secret location of the Blank-station.

Oh, my gosh! Look at this.

The white zone is for immediate loading

and unloading of passengers only. No parking.

Wow.

Don't be afraid. It's just J-5.

Hello, Kimberly.

It talks.

That's all he can say right now.

He's programmed to do so much,

I wouldn't want to overload him.

Hey, would you like something to drink?

Yeah, sure.

Whoops.

Hey, you lost a shoe.

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

Look at all this stuff.

What do you think, J-5?

What do you call this stuff?

Junk!

Yeah, but it's great junk.

It's almost like you live in a different world,

a better world.

Are you happy?

How can I be happy when there's still so much work to be done?

What do you think makes you so special?

I don't think I'm that special at all.

Just like everyone else, I want to feel safe at night.

That's what Blankman stands for.

Every man who looks out his window,

sees something wrong, and decides to do something about it.

Hold on.

Do you have any family?

I had a grandma. She meant a lot to me.

Somebody killed her.

This has been an amazing night.

I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time.

I'm just curious,

what was the carnation for?

Well, a beautiful woman should always wear a carnation, that's all.

Thank you, Blankman.

Or whoever you are.

Hey, J-5, what's happening?

Uh-oh!

Is everybody hip to Blankman, right?

Yeah!

You're all hip to Blankman.

You know, when I first heard

that there was a black guy in a cape riding around in a police car,

I said to myself, "Oh, damn, I hope James Brown isn't in trouble again!"

You know? Oh! Snap...

Not only has he inspired an entire city to stand up for itself,

but now...

Take a look at this. This is Blank-mania sweeping the nation.

And this has caused other super people to come out of the woodwork.

Midget Man, what inspired you to become a super hero?

Well, I think Blankman was an important influence to all of us.

But it's a big world, and we all have to do our part.

Let's say you're in a situation,

you're being accosted.

Tell us how you deal with it.

Well...

First thing...

Oh, easy with that chair.

I got it, I got it.

Take it easy with that. You don't want to...

Oh, shi...

No, no!

And Gay Man, you work primarily

out of the San Francisco area.

I wanted to be in the Army,

but they discriminate.

Mmm-hmm.

And since I'm cruising on the streets anyways,

I just thought I would get out there...

That's so true about discrimination.

What's the matter with you?

I'm in love.

With who?

What? That robot you got? What? You knock J-5 up?

I'm in love with Kimberly Jonz.

Well, who isn't in love with her, man. Get over it.

Tonight I got the feeling

that I was laying on a bed of feathers,

and there was two Q-Tips in both ears and they were moving real fast.

You know, that feeling you get when someone you like kisses you.

She kissed you?

Yeah. No.

She kissed Blankman.

And that's the dilemma.

If she should find out that I'm Blankman,

why, it could destroy her.

Um,

Darryl,

this was probably like a...a buddy-buddy kiss. You know what I mean?

Yeah, you're probably right.

I didn't like that tongue probing my mouth anyway.

Tongue?

Hey, somebody got some roses.

Did you read the card?

No, somebody must have dropped them off.

"From your would-be producer who always produces." Me.

Thanks. They're nice.

Uh, so,

what happened with you and Blankman last night?

He's kind of wack, right?

Oh, Kevin. You gotta tell me.

Um, he is... he is

the most wonderful man I've ever met in my entire life.

Dar... Uh, Blankman?

Oh, yes!

But, what... Y'all didn't...

What's this?

A box of chocolates, which I also brought you.

No, underneath that.

Oh, how romantic.

How romantic.

A shoe? A funky old shoe.

Kimberly, we're back from commercial.

Excuse me.

And in five, four, three, two...

Well, Blankman does it again.

Saying he was inspired by his hero,

Mayor Marvin Harris has come up with a plan

to stop the pending police and city worker strike.

I've worked out a deal to honor the city's IOUs.

On Friday, any worker can redeem them at the First City Bank.

Special armored cars will bring in all the necessary cash.

And I ask Blankman, whoever you are and wherever you are,

to be on hand to receive a special award.

We are gonna start standing up for ourselves.

This city is going into the Blankman era.

Thank you, Mayor Harris.

Thank you, kind citizens of this great city.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank

someone very special in my life.

Love you, Blankman.

Someone who supports me and believes in what I do.

We all believe in you.

Someone who, whether they know it or not,

has joined me in my quest to fight crime.

This person's a truly wonderful and unique person.

And I'd like to say thank you to Kimberly Jonz.

Blankman!

You all want your money?

Yes!

Let's open the bank!

Good morning, folks!

Got you some happy customers out there!

What?

Don't even think about it! Put your weapons down now! Put 'em down!

Now, get out!

You're crazy! Stop this!

Everybody, get out!

Don't hurt anybody.

Hello, folks! Say hello to the bad guys!

Calm down.

Everybody, get out!

Move! Go! Move! Let's go!

What you guys, nuts? There are a hundred pissed off cops outside.

They haven't been paid in weeks.

You'll never get through the doors.

Hello, Mr. Mayor.

You know, anyone can rob a bank,

but it takes a real man to do it in satin.

Blankman, I'm Police Commissioner Gains.

How do you want to handle this?

Uh,

maybe I could reason with them?

Great. We'll be right here.

You are not gonna do this. I'm not gonna let you...

Everyone else stay out of it.

Blankman will handle it.

Blankman! Blankman!

Blankman! Blankman! Blankman! Blankman!

Blankman! Blankman! Blankman! Blankman! Blankman! Blankman!

Blankman! Blankman! Blankman! Blankman!

* They're gonna kill me

* They're gonna smash me like a little bug

* I'm a dead man Yes, I'm a dead man *

Blankman! Blankman! Blankman!

Hello?

Mr. Burglars?

You think maybe we could talk about this hostage thing like gentlemen?

Huh? Okay.

I tried.

You came to make a deposit, Blankman?

Everybody get back or I'll blow you away! Now!

Oh, hello, Blankman.

What brings you here?

What, are they givin' away calendars today?

Michael "The Suit" Minelli.

You'll never get away with this, you diabolical fiend!

You fiend?

This kid, he talks like he's out of the funny papers or something.

What did you do with the Mayor?

Oh, say, listen,

Blankman, I've got some good news about the Mayor.

Uh, they had a recent opinion poll

and the results just came in.

He's goin' sky high!

All right, chain him up with the Mayor, boys!

We want our money! Everyone please stay calm!

Blankman has the situation under control!

I repeat, Blankman has the situation

under control!

Now, this bomb will probably take about 10 minutes

for the bomb squad to diffuse.

So, I think I'm gonna set it

for

three minutes.

Now, uh, how can I say it?

Don't go to pieces.

Sammy.

Okay, boys, we got three minutes.

Less!

Let's go!

Come on, out through here.

Must get to Blank-belt now.

Must spray floor

with super-slick Blank-goop.

Ah, there.

Now, put together stink bomb.

And get stink bomb to them.

Hold your breath, Mayor. This may get funky.

Oh, that's foul!

Oh, what is that smell?

I'm outta here!

See if you can close the vault.

Tony, the vault!

He's locked the door with the money inside!

Get out, everybody! Let's go! Let's go!

Hurry up, morons!

Good thinking, Blankman. At least those scumbags won't get the city's money.

One thing they didn't count on

was my ability

to get myself

out of

tight situations.

We want our money!

Excuse me.

Hey! Wait, stop that guy!

After him! Stop him!

Hello?

I'm telling you it's not possible.

Hello?

Kevin? Go away. It's not safe.

Will you get him outta here?

Oh, my God!

What happened here?

Blankman, would you go?

Does this thing mean what I think it means?

Will you just get him out of here, please? Both of you.

Do you know what you're doin'?

Yeah. All I have to do now

is separate this wire here and...

No, I don't know what I'm doing. Move out of the way.

Do you know what?

This white man is dead.

You can't save him. Come on, let's go.

I gotta save him! Please, go!

Wait, let me think.

Let me think. Just "A" positive, "B" positive.

"A." "A." Think positive and...

Ah!

I did it!

You did it!

Damn, man!

Shh! Shh!

I still hear ticking.

You hear what?

Why do I still hear ticking?

This bag is full of explosives.

You did what you could.

Go. Go!

He's got a point. Let's just get outta here!

Wait. Wait!

Eleanor Walker was my grandmother.

She really believed in you.

She was a good woman.

I'll give her your love.

The clock, gentlemen.

The clock!

Come on! Let's go!

Get back!

That is the bravest thing I've ever seen anybody do in my entire life!

We almost got killed with a boom.

Mayor Harris is dead.

Yeah, but you did what you could.

No one else would have gone in there.

Excuse me, hello?

Can I at least get a handshake?

What about my money? I need my money!

Hey, I ain't been paid in weeks!

We're supposed to get our checks!

Where's my money? I want my money!

I need my check cashed!

I've got hungry kids at home!

Yeah, this stinks! Where's my money?

Blankman was in control here.

He's a coward! He ran away!

Yeah, I...I told him not to go in there!

He killed the Mayor!

Get him!

Blankman, you're responsible, and you know it!

I think you better get outta here.

I think you're right.

Blankman, you're dead meat!

Get him!

Get him!

Police Commissioner Gains has put the blame

squarely on Blankman's shoulders,

referring to the fleeing ex-role model as

"A quivering, spineless, world-class coward."

If we made any mistake,

it was trusting this supposed hero

who runs around in his Grandma's underwear

with a smelly sock taped across his face.

We never believed in a million years that he'd kill Mayor Harris

and selfishly save himself.

We're your police department, folks of this community.

We're here to protect and serve,

not a guy who's out robbing laundromats

so he can have a good time.

I'm not gonna do it anymore, J-5.

I'm sorry.

Hello, Kimberly.

Don't you make it harder than it already is!

The procession worked its way through the downtown area

as the city said farewell,

finally winding down in the neighborhood

where Mayor Harris had spent his childhood

among the people he referred to as family.

Darryl,

you gotta get over this.

You've been sitting here watching this stuff for three days.

That wasn't your fault.

All I wanted to do was help.

You don't have to be a hero, Darryl.

Why don't you try being like everyone else?

How am I gonna do that?

You can start by gettin' a job.

Hello. Welcome to McDonald's.

May I take your order, please?

Yeah, I just need a burger, man.

Would you like some fries with that?

No, I'm all right.

Sure? They're cooked to a crispy, golden perfection.

Yeah, man, I'm sure, all right?

Perhaps a soda?

You know we're doing salads now.

People don't expect that from McDonald's. Chunky chicken salad.

Look, man, could you just give me my damn burger, all right?

Would you like that for here or to go?

Goofy asshole.

He's just a little McMad right now.

* When we are strong it doesn't matter

* If we have no time we can make it

Hey! That's my purse! Give me my purse! It's mine!

Stop 'em! Stop 'em!

Weak, goofy bastard!

* To the future

* To the future

So this is Hard Edition, huh?

Michael Minelli.

Larry Stone. Pleased to meet ya.

How'd you track me down, Stone?

This is tabloid television. We can do anything.

What is it you want from me?

Rumor has it you're, uh, looking for the Blankman.

Everyone knows the Blankman has disappeared.

Nobody's seen him, not for weeks.

I can give you the Blankman.

What's in it for you?

Ratings, Mr. Minelli.

Ratings give me a woody.

But, to get ratings, you gotta have a star.

David Koresh, 52 days in the number one spot.

Wanted to run a summer camp.

I said, David, why be a counselor

when you can be the messiah?

Now you, you, I can't make the messiah.

But you give me an exclusive interview, I give you the Blankman.

I don't make deals.

And I don't do television.

Where is the Blankman?

Hey, Einstein, I don't know if you noticed,

but, uh, this ain't a boil on my ass.

It's a wheelchair.

I'm paralyzed from the waist down.

I can't feel a damn thing.

I felt that.

You through?

I like this guy!

He ain't got no legs, but he's got balls!

Come on, take a walk with me.

Have a seat.

All right.

Now,

I happen to know that Blankman

has the hots for a certain reporter.

A lady by the name of Kimberly Jonz.

I had a grandma. She meant a lot to me.

But somebody killed her.

Minelli one time whacked out an old lady for givin' him a dirty look.

...not yet released the names of the victims,

but it is rumored that among the fatalities

is 68-year-old Eleanor Walker,

a local resident who runs this chapter of the Harris campaign.

This is Kimberly.

Uh, I think I figured out who killed your grandmother.

Hello, Blankman?

No, this is not Kimberly. This is Minelli.

If you ever want to see this pretty little Kimberly again,

you better come down to the TV station right now.

Yes.

Oh, and, uh, Blankman,

don't forget to wear your tights.

No. No? Have a nice day.

Thank you. Come again. Hi, welcome to McDonald's.

Darryl, Minelli just took over the newsroom!

I'm sorry, sir. You're gonna have to stand in line like everyone else.

You don't understand! Minelli just took Kimberly hostage.

My God, he's got Kimberly?

He says he's gonna kill her unless Blankman shows up.

The police ain't doin' jack! Man, you gotta save her.

I don't wanna get involved. I don't do that stuff anymore.

I'm normal now.

I'm Darryl Walker, Crew Chief.

Ronald McDonald's coming next week.

I'm supposed to whip this place into shape.

I'm not talkin' to Darryl, I'm talkin' to Blankman.

This is serious.

Hi, welcome to McDonald's.

May I take your order, please?

Would you like fries with that?

Stop it!

Minelli killed Grandma.

He killed Grandma?

Then I gotta take him down.

This time I'm with you.

You gonna wear your costume?

Man, I'm not wearin' that...

I need three more burgers, please.

Darryl, I will wear the costume! Let's just go!

We gonna take him down together, me and you?

Yes, let's go. Like a team.

Darryl, come on. I'll be right back. I gotta punch out.

Curses. I can't get the hang of that thing.

Hello, Kimberly.

No time for small talk, buddy.

To the Blank-screen.

Okay, I can pull up the plans to the news building

on the Blank-screen.

They're gonna expect us to come in through here.

We can get the drop on 'em by coming up in through here.

Well, why don't we just go through the front?

Because that'll take all the fun out of it, silly billy gumdrops!

To the Blank-suits!

Okay, that's your costume.

And I'll once again don the Blank-suit.

* Be a super hero

* Now you must understand

* Want you all to understand

* Be a super hero

* Well, well, well

This is great!

Huh?

I said, this is fantastic!

I can't hear you.

I said, this is great!

I can't understand...

Shut up and drive.

* Don't tell me that I am not worthy

* After 400 years overtime

* Give us what you give your brothers

* Then you'll understand

* That I won't be your super hero

* I wanna be a hero

* Until you give us all you can *

Mr. Minelli, you're reported to have mob connections.

Have you ever committed a crime?

No, I've never committed a crime in my life.

No, goddamn it, no!

You're asking him all the easy questions!

Probe deeper! Dig into him! Edge!

Right, edge.

Uh, Mr. Minelli, are you gay?

Goddamn! Now that's edge!

Hey!

I'm sick and tired of this crap.

You told me that Blankman was gonna be here,

and he ain't here!

Now, not only am I gonna have to kill her,

I'm gonna have to kill you, too!

But, because I'm a gentleman, I'm gonna kill the lady first.

Yes, Miss Anchor Lady, this just in.

Your time is up.

No. Do something. He's crazy! You're crazy!

You better check your sources on that story, Minelli.

You might have got a bad lead.

Blankman.

I see you finally got somebody to work with you who dresses worse than you do.

And what is your name, Other Guy?

Well, I don't really have one yet.

How about poorly-dressed dead man?

Get 'em, guys!

Get in there! Get in there! Get in there and fight for God's sake!

Get 'em!

Take 'em out! They're gaining on us!

Get 'em, you idiots!

Back to back!

How you doin'? Oh, man!

Take that, you fiend!

All right, I'll handle this myself!

I got a swell idea for you two.

Isn't this great? We'll never get out of here alive.

Well, that's... that's the whole plan, Blankman.

And while you're in there, I have rigged up

a secret bomb that is going to go off

and blow up this building in about five minutes.

Holy double jeopardy!

You're good.

And when this bomb goes off,

you are gonna be held responsible, postmortem.

Hey, Minelli!

Look, you got what you wanted.

Why don't you let Kimberly go?

Right. And put me down, too. You don't want me.

No, the broad stays.

And Stone, I'm really sorry

that I messed up your show.

Not at all.

Then I'm sorry I ruined your life.

Is this the end of our episode?

Will the dynamic duo defy

their death-defying drowning death trap?

Or will...

Who will dislodge Other Guy's fist away from Blankman's eye?

Darryl, would you quit messin' around?

This is serious!

Kevin, stop being a pessimist!

This tank is not half full,

it's half empty!

All right, that... that's great. You have lost your mind now.

This is life or death!

If my plan serves me correctly,

J-5 should be gingerly on his way!

You'll see.

He's coming!

J-5, come on.

J-5, get up! Come on! Come on!

J-5!

Hello, Kimberly.

Do something, J-5. Save them.

Do something. Hurry, J-5.

Do it, J-5, do it. Save them.

Kick the glass!

The holes have weakened the glass.

You can do it, Kickman!

We've gotta cut the chains.

We gotta find the bomb.

No, there's no time. It could be anywhere.

Save yourself.

There's no point in us all dying.

I'll never forget you, my lover.

That's a Blank-joke.

You're so wonderful to keep your sense of humor during such a time of crisis.

Electronics.

Think about electronics. Electronics.

J-5. Quick.

Vacuum power pack, on.

Dry these little wings, so these birdies can fly.

Oh, Blankman, you're such a poet.

Don't you know it.

Easy!

Wait a minute. How we gonna find a bomb in this building?

We can't. But J-5 can.

I'll just switch him to anti-terrorist, bloodhound, bomb-sniffing mode.

Okay, J-5, smell the explosives.

Smell it, boy. Yeah, yeah.

Find the explosives, boy. Go ahead, find it.

Come on! Go, J-5. Go, boy, go.

He found something. He's onto something.

Go, J-5! Yeah, baby.

Yes! He's got something, right?

What is it?

The woman's bathroom. That fiend!

The one place he knew we couldn't go into.

Come on, J-5.

What is it, J-5? You see something in here?

Did you find a bomb?

Yeah, but not the one we're lookin' for.

He's onto something. Where, boy?

In there? There's something in there, boy?

Stand back.

It's the bomb.

J-5, convert to bomb-disposal unit now!

I hope this works.

He's only certified to handle but so much explosives.

Okay, Kevin, let's save Kimberly.

J-5, to the street. Now!

Darryl, wait a minute. Hold up.

Please.

Call me Blankman.

Okay. Blankman.

Do we have to tell Stone?

'Cause you just said the building is not going to blow up, right?

Look, I don't care what games you play, little buddy.

My only concern is one Miss Kimberly Jonz.

That's all I wanted to know.

Hang on, my love!

We can't find the bomb. We can't find the bo...

Run!

It's gonna blow!

Play along.

It's gonna blow! We can't find the bomb!

The whole thing's gonna blow!

What do you mean you can't find the bomb?

We can't find it. We messed up!

And the building's gonna blow! And when it does...

Boom! Wheelchair over here, cowboy boot over there.

All right, get me out of this thing. Come on!

Blankman says there's no time.

He says there's only time enough to save baby girl.

What? You're gonna leave me?

He says you got to be strong.

Be strong.

What? You're just gonna leave me here?

I'll never forget you. I'm gonna call your mama now.

Get back here, you son of a bitch!

I'll kill you!

I'll kill you, you son of a bitch! I'll kick your ass!

Other Guy, watch Kimberly. Go! Go!

Come on! Get out of the way! Get out of the way!

He's gonna explode! Get out, everybody!

He's gonna explode!

Get out!

Good luck, buddy. Good luck.

J-5! J-5, thank God you're all right, buddy.

J-5! J-5, speak to me!

Don't die, J-5!

J-5, don't you dare die!

You better not die!

J-5!

No!

Minelli, you're going down.

I'm Kimberly Jonz.

I'm here live, at the News Center.

And what happened here tonight is very simple.

Blankman and...and some other guy in a mask,

they were abducted

along with myself, by Michael Minelli and his band of stooges.

Luckily, when they fled, Blankman outsmarted them.

He got away? I don't believe it.

Well, you'd better believe it, you diabolical villain.

Blankman, how'd you find me?

You're gonna have plenty of time to figure that out, Minelli,

in the joint!

The joint? Oh, yeah? Sammy, shoot 'em.

Come on, Sammy. You bad. Shoot me!

No, Kevin, there's something I didn't tell you.

What? I got to paint a target on my ass?

Well, come on.

Oh, my God, he shot me.

That's what I was trying to tell you!

Only my costume is bulletproof!

Okay, Minelli, the jig is up.

It's time for you to pay the piper.

Get ready to rumble!

Oh! My painting! Sammy, get him.

Get up.

Yo, Blankman!

You brought the nunchakus. Thanks, Other Guy.

I've had all I can take from you, Blankman.

Hi.

Did I do that?

Doesn't matter. I'm gonna tear you apart with my bare hands.

Get up. Get up, damn it. That's it.

Kevin!

Oh, Blankman,

it seems every time we get together, somebody dies.

Say good-bye to Other Guy!

Oh, yeah?

Let me go!

All right, all right, I give up. I give up!

Yeah? You should have thought about that when you killed my grandmother.

That's right, Minelli.

We got a nice cold jail cell all warmed up for you.

You're not going anywhere.

I'll see you in 20 years, Minelli.

I've been shot, but I'm all right

'cause the bullet went through my...my...

We did it, Other Guy.

Blankman, damn!

Earlier in the day,

thousands showed up at the City Center for a ticker tape parade

to honor its newest hero and his unnamed friend.

Later, the Mayor addressed the hearty crowd on the steps of City Hall,

giving Blankman a special award.

I present you, Blankman,

the Harris award for outstanding community service.

Thank you. Thank you.

And you, Other Guy,

this really cool Blankman t-shirt.

Let's hear it for these fine people!

That was the scene just a few hours ago

here at the Administration Building,

when a grateful city said thank you to a man who has renewed its spirits.

The crowds may have gone,

but the memory of this moment will last a lifetime.

Live from City Hall, I'm Kimberly Jonz saying good night.

I don't know, Kevin. This is not such a great idea.

What if she doesn't like me?

What if she just laughs right in my face?

What are you talking about? She is madly in love with you. Why? I don't know.

No, she's in love with Blankman.

Just tell her you're Blankman, Darryl.

Oh, yeah, and really break her heart.

Look,

we promised that we're supposed to meet her after the parade.

Now, don't embarrass me. Go on.

Kimberly. Kevin.

This is my brother, Darryl.

Darryl. Hi.

It's nice to finally get to meet you.

You know, I can't get over this feeling that I've met you before.

So,

I guess they had a big parade today

for that, uh, super guy, what's-his-name.

His name is Blankman. He saved my life.

He's probably a big loser without that flashy costume.

Oh, he's definitely not a loser.

Hey, a purse snatcher!

Where?

That's a job for Blankman!

You know?

Well, actually, there's only one way to be sure.

Wait.

Hold up.

What did you do to him? Darryl, speak to me!

Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't touch me.

* Super hero

Darryl, get up.

You want a cigarette?

* Yeah

* I will be your super hero

* But you must understand

* If I'm to be your super hero

* Yeah

* You must give me half a chance

* Listen to my band

* Let me tell you what I mean

* Make sure you can love me right

* Yeah

* See ya

* Make sure this is a real Jamaican love

* For real, watch it

* Since I met you

* I've begun to feel so strange

* For real?

* Every time I speak your name

* Patra

* You say that you are so helpless, too

* That you don't know what to do

* Sure about that?

* Could it be I'm falling in love?

* Could it be I'm fallin', baby?

* Touch me body right

* Rock me body long Right through the night

* Touching me breasts Kiss me at the best

* Anywhere we go The east and the west

* Why not try stronger Rock me body longer

* To the extreme, Tell you what I mean

* Get me feel

* So what?

* Anyone can be a hero

* Hey, hey, hey

* Hey, hey

* You could be a hero if you want to be

* Another night, you're doing the best you can

* To save the world you live in

* You took right when one needs a helping hand

* You got one to be given

* Don't wait around for someone else

* You can make it happen by yourself

* Gotta show your love

* Gotta take a stand

* You can change the world if you're an average man

* You can find your strength inside your soul

* Open your heart

* If you want to be a hero *

* I thought you

* I'm not much for riches

* Get bent and they go, bitch

* Give you a hand on the underground sound *

* Yeah

* Come on

* Let's roll

* Yeah, positive's the way that we kick it

* Tag Team's back on the Blankman's soundtrack

* SOS, society is in distress

* Come through, Blankman with no "S" only just so

* Here are the ordinary people

* Everyone is blessed with a character In a word, dig deep

* Coulda, woulda, shoulda do something good

* In your life like life is good

* Wait a second, I reckon that I'm makin' like Blankman

* Kickin' up dust when he strikes negativities

* The evil plaguin' all people

* Not preachin' Just readin' my mind Here we go

* Oh, my God, what have we come to?

* Only we can save us from the evil men do

* Times are hard, keep your head up, never let up

* Steamroller, yo Tell 'em what's up

* You dig deeper

* Dig it, dig it, dig it deep

* Dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig deep *