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Captioning Made Possible By
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THE METROPOLITAN
LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY
3
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HEY.
4
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,103
HEY, SIS.
5
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,104
YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?
6
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:13,241
NO. I SPENT THE WEEKEND
AT COCKROACH'S HOUSE.
7
00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,509
YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE
I WAS GONE.
8
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:16,310
NO.
9
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,978
BUT WELCOME HOME.
10
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,547
COME SEE SOMETHING
IN MY ROOM.
11
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,249
I HATE GOING IN THERE.
12
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,351
I CLEANED IT UP.
13
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:27,921
IT DOE LOOK BETTER.
14
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:28,989
WHAT'S UP?
15
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,924
THIS.
16
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,460
THEO, AN EARRING!
17
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:33,694
SHH!
18
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,065
I HAD IT DONE
FRIDAY AFTER SCHOOL.
19
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,134
THAT'S GREAT!
IT LOOKS FANTASTIC!
20
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:44,205
IT SAYS I'M OLD ENOUGH
TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS.
21
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,006
YOUR EAR LOOKS RED.
22
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,808
IF I WANT TO PUT
AN EARRING IN MY EAR
23
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,143
THAT'S MY BUSINESS.
24
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,878
IT LOOKS PUFFY.
25
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,346
WHEN PEOPLE SEE THIS
26
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:56,317
THEY'LL KNOW THEY'RE
DEALING WITH A MAN!
27
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,186
LET DAD LOOK AT IT.
28
00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,753
LET WHO?
29
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:00,954
OOO!
30
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,890
I THINK
IT'S INFECTED.
31
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:03,824
IT IS?
32
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,092
WHERE WAS IT DONE?
33
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:06,894
IN COCKROACH'S GARAGE.
34
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:09,562
YOU LET COCKROACH
PIERCE YOUR EAR?
35
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,365
I'M NOT CRAZY.
36
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,034
IT WAS HIS SISTER,
TOOTSIE.
37
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,436
TOOTSIE'S IN JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL.
38
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,104
SHE DOES THIS ON THE SIDE
39
00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:20,073
AND SHE ONLY CHARGES 99 CENTS.
40
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:23,711
IF DAD DOESN'T LOOK AT IT,
IT WILL GET WORSE.
41
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,479
THIS IS JUST AN EAR.
42
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:28,949
IF DAD FINDS OUT,
MY WHOLE BODY'S IN DANGER.
43
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,586
I DIDN'T SAY YOU
COULD COME IN HERE.
44
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,121
I DON'T WANT TO.
45
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,389
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
46
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,790
DENISE IS HERE.
47
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:37,725
SO?
48
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:41,829
IF YOU ARE IN THEO'S ROOM,
SOMETHING IS UP.
49
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,997
NOTHING'S UP, VANESSA.
50
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:46,867
OKAY, BUT YOU KNOW
I'LL FIND OUT ANYWAY.
51
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,703
I HAVE MY WAYS.
52
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:27,741
CLIFF!
53
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:28,742
YO!
54
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,620
JUST HAVING A LITTLE TASTE.
55
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,989
THIS PIE IS FOR YOUR PARENTS.
56
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,391
MY FOLKS WON'T NOTICE.
57
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:44,858
THEY DID LAST TIME.
58
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,659
HOW?
59
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,696
WHEN WE CUT INTO IT,
IT WAS HOLLOW.
60
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,799
MY FOLKS AREN'T
COMING HERE TO EAT.
61
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,468
THEY'RE COMING
TO SPOIL THE CHILDREN.
62
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,404
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
THEY'RE GRANDPARENTS.
63
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,806
RIGHT. GRANDPARENTS.
64
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,208
THESE ARE NOT THE SAME
PEOPLE I GREW UP WITH.
65
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:04,545
THEY'RE THE
BIGGEST HYPOCRITES
YOU'VE EVER SEEN.
66
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:08,482
MY FATHER COMES IN,
GOES INTO HIS POCKET
67
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,484
PULLS OUT
A HANDFUL OF MONEY.
68
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:14,021
"LET'S SEE IF
GRANDDAD HAS ANY MONEY
69
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,255
FOR THESE
WONDERFUL CHILDREN."
70
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,160
THIS IS THE SAME MAN...
71
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,030
WHEN I WAS HIS CHILD,
I WOULD ASK HIM FOR FIFTY CENTS.
72
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:26,467
THE MAN WOULD TELL ME
HIS LIFE STORY.
73
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,903
THIS MAN WOULD TELL ME
HOW AT AGE FIVE
74
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,506
HE WOKE UP 4:00 EVERY MORNING.
75
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,443
HAD NO ALARM CLOCK,
HAD NO ROOSTER
76
00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:38,211
JUST A SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY.
77
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,582
SNOW WAS UP TO HERE.
78
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:45,586
HAD NO SHOES, BUT HE WALKED
THROUGH A BLIZZARD...
79
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,488
BACKWARDS.
80
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,325
I'VE TALKED TO OTHER PEOPLE
WITH FATHERS
81
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,360
AND FOUND OUT THAT FATHERS
82
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,863
ARE THE LYINGEST PEOPLE
ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH.
83
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:59,433
I HAVE A FRIEND
WHO IS PUERTO RICAN.
84
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:03,471
HIS FATHER WAS BROUGHT UP
IN SAN JUAN.
85
00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:07,040
WALKED THROUGH THE SNOW
IN SAN...
86
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,543
OH, CLIFF.
87
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,744
NO, MY
FATHER
88
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:14,882
FOUND A JOB MILKING 12O COWS.
89
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:19,420
THE MAN HE WORKED FOR
HAD NO BUCKET.
90
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:24,425
SO HE HAD TO SQUIRT THE MILK
INTO HIS HAND
91
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,460
WALK EIGHT MILES...
92
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:31,064
THROUGH SNOW UP TO HERE...
93
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:37,438
AND MY MOTHER
IS THE SAME WAY, TOO.
94
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,707
SHE'S ONE OF
THE SWEETEST PEOPLE I KNOW.
95
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,909
I DIDN'T SAY SHE WASN'T SWEET
96
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:45,979
BUT THIS WOMAN
COMES OVER HERE TO THE HOUSE
97
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,247
KISSES EVERY CHILD--
98
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:51,184
"JUST COME IN
AND KISS YOUR GRANDMOTHER.
99
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,854
"YOU'RE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN
100
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,789
ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH."
101
00:05:55,889 --> 00:06:00,528
BUT WHEN I
WAS HER CHILD
102
00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:03,731
ALL THIS WOMAN EVER WANTED TO DO
WAS TAKE A STICK
103
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,667
AND ASK GOD
TO GIVE HER ENOUGH STRENGTH
104
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:10,103
SO SHE COULD KNOCK US SOMEWHERE.
105
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,305
TO THIS DAY
106
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:17,745
I STILL DON'T KNOW
WHERE "KINGDOM COME" IS.
107
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,347
ALL SHE IS,
AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED
108
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:23,917
IS AN OLD PERSON
TRYING TO GET INTO HEAVEN NOW.
109
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,620
DADDY.
110
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,957
YEAH, DEAR?
111
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:30,824
WHAT WOULD YOU DO
112
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,694
IF SOMEONE YOU LOVED
SWORE YOU TO SECRECY
113
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:34,995
BUT KEEPING THAT SECRET
114
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,030
MIGHT NOT BE GOOD
FOR THAT PERSON?
115
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,867
IS THE PERSON
SWORN TO SECRECY
IN THIS FAMILY?
116
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:43,704
YEAH.
117
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,807
IS THE SECRECY JUICY?
118
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:48,642
YEAH.
119
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,343
TELL IT.
120
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:52,913
IF I TELL YOU
121
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,848
THIS PERSON
WILL HATE ME FOREVER.
122
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,317
YOU HAVE TO,
FOR THEIR OWN GOOD.
123
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,418
I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE.
124
00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:01,855
THAT WAY, YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT
FOR YOURSELVES.
125
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:02,923
A CLUE?
126
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,958
EARLOBES.
127
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,599
EARLOBES!
128
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:12,933
WHAT ABOUT EARLOBES?
129
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,802
ALL I'M SAYING IS
130
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:22,375
DOES EVERYBODY IN THIS HOUSE
HAVE TWO HEALTHY EARLOBES?
131
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:39,993
COME ON, CLIFF.
MY EARLOBES ARE FINE.
132
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:43,330
ONE'S OKAY.
133
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:49,970
( growling )
134
00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:53,240
TWO'S OKAY.
135
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,108
I LOVE IT
WHEN YOU DO THIS.
136
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,010
I'LL GO TO
THE OTHER SIDE.
137
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,582
( knocking )
138
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:02,315
WHO IS IT?
139
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,250
DAD.
140
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:04,618
HOLD ON.
141
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,925
OKAY, COME IN.
142
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,063
WHAT'S HAPPENING, DAD?
143
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:26,974
* NEVER GONNA CLEAN IT UP
144
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,745
* NO MATTER HOW MESSY IT GETS
145
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,746
* YOU'RE NEVER
GONNA CLEAN IT UP *
146
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:43,890
SON?
147
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,425
YEAH, DAD?
148
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,897
THERE'S NO MUSIC
COMING THROUGH THE HEADSET.
149
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:53,333
YOU STILL BOPPING TO
WHAT'S LEFT IN YOUR BRAIN?
150
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,202
NO.
151
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,870
TAKE THE HEADSET OFF.
152
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:57,971
NOW?
153
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,308
IS THERE ANY REASON
WHY YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE THEM OFF?
154
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:01,975
NO.
155
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,677
OKAY.
156
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,596
GUYS SURE CAN
GET UP, HUH?
157
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,764
YEAH.
158
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,230
DENISE TOLD YOU, RIGHT?
159
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,465
TOLD ME WHAT?
160
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,601
ABOUT THIS.
161
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:37,270
IS THAT A DECAL?
162
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:38,505
NO.
163
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,942
HAVE YOU BEEN TAGGED
BY THE WILDLIFE SOCIETY?
164
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,578
IT'S AN EARRING.
165
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:46,880
THERE'S A HOLE THROUGH MY EAR.
166
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,648
DENISE SAYS
IT MIGHT BE INFECTED.
167
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,656
WELL, SHE'S RIGHT.
168
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,759
IT IS INFECTED.
169
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,193
COME ON.
170
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,295
WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO TO ME?
171
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:05,833
I AM GOING TO
FIX YOUR EAR.
172
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:06,967
THEN WHAT?
173
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,036
YOU EXPECTING
SOME SORT OF PUNISHMENT?
174
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,137
SHOULDN'T I?
175
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,571
YEAH.
176
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:21,915
OW!
177
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,650
CAN'T WE DO THIS
SOMEPLACE ELSE?
178
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:24,617
WHY?
179
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:28,922
BECAUSE THIS PLACE
IS FOR PREGNANT WOMEN.
180
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,425
I HAVE FOUR DAUGHTERS
AND A SON
181
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,660
AND SOMEHOW I THOUGHT
182
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:36,096
YOU WOULD BE THE ONE
WITHOUT THE EARRING.
183
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,535
WHY DID YOU DO IT?
184
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,404
TO KIDS TODAY
185
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,606
IT'S SORT OF
A SIGN OF INDEPENDENCE.
186
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,208
WHO'S THE GIRL?
187
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:48,776
HUH?
188
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:52,512
WHO'S THE GIRL?
189
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,747
EUNICE BAKER.
190
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:54,882
YOU LOVE HER?
191
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,950
I LIKE HER.
192
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,152
SHE SAID I'D LOOK GOOD
WITH AN EARRING.
193
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:04,825
AND SO NOW YOU COULD WIND UP
WITH HALF A HEAD
194
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,794
BECAUSE OF
THE INFECTION.
195
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:07,995
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, SON
196
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:11,231
BECAUSE WHAT I HAVE
IN STORE FOR YOU
197
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,835
IS GOING TO BE JUST WONDERFUL.
198
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,136
WHAT'S THAT?
199
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,706
I IMAGINE
HE SHOULD BE HERE FOR DINNER
200
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,809
IN ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES.
201
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:22,876
NOT GRANDPA.
202
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,311
OH, YES.
203
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,545
OH, YES.
204
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:29,316
AND GRANDPA IS GOING TO LOVE
TO HEAR ABOUT THIS
205
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:33,253
BECAUSE YOUR GRANDFATHER IS LIKE
"THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER"--
206
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:36,924
HE LOVES TO HEAR
THE UNTOLD STORY.
207
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,725
MAYBE HE WON'T NOTICE.
208
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:42,329
I'VE FIXED THAT ALSO,
MY BOY.
209
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,030
WE'RE GOING
TO MAKE IT
210
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,199
SO HE WILL SEE IT
REALLY GOOD.
211
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,435
YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO MAKE THIS EASY.
212
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,104
I COULD HAVE PUT YOUR
WHOLE HEAD IN A SLING.
213
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,244
( doorbell )
214
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:01,514
HELLO.
215
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,383
HI.
216
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,318
HELLO.
217
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:06,719
GUESS WHAT I HAVE.
218
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:07,888
OH, YOU DIDN'T.
219
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,656
I MOST CERTAINLY DID.
220
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:10,991
MY SOUTH CAROLINA
221
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,126
MULTI-LAYERED
SWEET POTATO PIE.
222
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,128
IT'S INSURANCE
AGAINST SOMEONE
223
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:19,632
WHO HAS A HISTORY OF SCOOPING
THE INSIDE OUT OF PIES.
224
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,669
KIDS, GRANDMA AND GRANDPA
ARE HERE!
225
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,671
CLIFF!
226
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,073
GRANDMA!
227
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,240
NOW WALK.
228
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,375
COME ON
OVER HERE
229
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,812
AND EACH ONE GIVE YOUR
GRANDMOMMY A BIG KISS.
230
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:37,017
YOU ARE TRULY THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN IN THE WORLD.
231
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:42,089
LET'S SEE IF GRANDDAD HAS
ANY MONEY FOR THE KIDS.
232
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:42,789
ME FIRST!
233
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,424
WAIT A MINUTE.
234
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:49,496
COULD YOU BUY THEM A PRESENT
INSTEAD OF PASSING OUT MONEY?
235
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,031
YOU HEARD
YOUR MOTHER.
236
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:55,035
NEXT TIME I'LL HAVE TO
TAKE YOU OUT SHOPPING.
237
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,303
I NEED HELP.
238
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,906
I'M GOING TO HOLD
THIS ONE HOSTAGE.
239
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,341
MOM, I WANT TO STAY, TOO.
240
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,711
WE'LL BE HERE
ALL EVENING.
241
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,646
YOUR MOTHER NEEDS HELP
IN THE KITCHEN, OKAY?
242
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:07,547
YEP.
243
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:10,183
AH-- I'M NOT
OF THE "YEP" GENERATION.
244
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,919
WHEN ANSWERING
IN THE AFFIRMATIVE
245
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,121
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
246
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,288
YES, MA'AM.
247
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,856
THAT'S BETTER.
248
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,591
NOW RUN ALONG.
249
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,661
YOU'RE GETTING
PRETTIER EVERY DAY.
250
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,830
IT'S GETTING EASIER
TO TIE MY SHOES.
251
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:24,932
IS IT, BABY?
252
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:31,939
(* singing a dirge *)
253
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,141
THERE ARE MY BOYS!
254
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,412
TAKE YOUR TIME GETTING TO ME.
255
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,116
WHEN I TRAVEL ON
256
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,517
YOU'LL BE SORRY
YOU DIDN'T SPEND...
257
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,753
MORE TIME WITH
YOUR MOTHER, YES.
258
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:48,221
OWWW!
259
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:54,094
ARE YOU STILL DELIVERING
ALL THE BABIES IN TOWN?
260
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,228
YEP.
261
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:55,895
HEATHCLIFF.
262
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,130
YES, MA'AM.
263
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,001
HOW WAS THE TRIP OVER?
264
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:04,037
FINE, UNTIL WE HAD TO PARK.
265
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,840
I SAID I WOULD PAY FOR
PARKING IN THE GARAGE.
266
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:11,378
AT $8.50 AN HOUR? NO, SIR.
267
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,580
I FOUND A LARGE,
PERFECTLY LEGAL SPOT
268
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,816
LESS THAN A MILE FROM HERE.
269
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,652
BY COMING IN EARLY
270
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,354
PLANTING HIMSELF
AT THE HEAD OF THE BLOCK
271
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:25,192
AND THEN WAITING
FOR SOMEBODY TO PULL OUT.
272
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,227
THE SITTERS GET THE SPOTS.
273
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,196
IT'S THE CIRCLERS
WHO HAVE PROBLEMS.
274
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:32,365
THE CIRCLERS
GO AROUND AND AROUND.
275
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,201
BY THE TIME
THEY SEE SOMETHING OPEN
276
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:37,104
THERE'S A SITTER
LAYING CLAIM TO IT.
277
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,409
WHERE ARE YOU
GOING, SON?
278
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,144
COME OVER HERE
279
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:45,878
AND SAY HELLO
TO YOUR GRANDDAD.
280
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,281
HE DIDN'T SAY HELLO
TO ME, EITHER.
281
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:49,249
HI, GRANDMA.
282
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,450
HI.
283
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,221
HEY, GRANDPA.
284
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,489
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR EAR?
285
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,030
I WALKED INTO A DOOR.
286
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,832
I DO THAT SOMETIMES MYSELF.
287
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,667
GO HELP MOM.
288
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,169
GRANDMA, DO YOU
WANT TO COME?
289
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:10,403
SURE.
290
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,340
EXCUSE US.
291
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,075
EXCUSE US.
292
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:19,579
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
TO YOUR EAR, SON?
293
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:20,647
I WALKED INTO A DOOR.
294
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:21,581
COME ON.
295
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,184
I HEARD THAT OLD
"WALKED INTO A DOOR" LINE
296
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:27,987
FROM YOUR DAD BACK IN '49.
297
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:31,524
I GOT MY EAR PIERCED.
298
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:32,892
ON PURPOSE?
299
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,729
ABSOLUTELY.
300
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:41,734
YOUR GRANDSON WAS TOLD BY A GIRL
301
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,038
THAT HE WOULD LOOK GOOD
IN AN EARRING.
302
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:48,441
SO HE WENT TO...
WHERE DID YOU GO?
303
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,643
COCKROACH'S GARAGE.
304
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:59,286
COCKROACH'S GARAGE,
AND HAD HIS EAR PIERCED BY...
305
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:00,820
WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE PERSON?
306
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,356
IT WAS HIS SISTER, TOOTSIE.
307
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:06,126
HIS SISTER, TOOTSIE.
308
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:10,097
WHO PROBABLY LINED HIM UP
AGAINST THE WALL
309
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,865
AND THREW A JAVELIN AT 60 FEET.
310
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,767
I GET THE PICTURE.
311
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,569
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
312
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:20,406
I'LL JUST LET YOU
HANDLE THE GOOD PART.
313
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:23,410
I WON'T COME DOWN
HARD ON THE BOY.
314
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,377
YOU WON'T?
315
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:25,145
NO.
316
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,980
YOUNG MEN IN LOVE
DO CRAZY THINGS.
317
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,516
WHEN YOUR FATHER...
318
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:30,883
UH, DAD...
319
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,454
NO, NO, NO.
320
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,055
IT'S GOOD FOR HIM.
321
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:36,723
NO.
322
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:37,957
IT WILL MAKE HIM
FEEL BETTER.
323
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:42,729
I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN HIM FEELING BETTER, OKAY?
324
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,965
SIT DOWN.
325
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,005
WHEN YOUR FATHER...
326
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,207
DAD...
327
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,742
...WAS 15
328
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,245
HE AND HIS FRIEND,
LEX THOMPSON--
329
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,513
A BOY WHO WAS LEFT BACK TWICE...
330
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,685
DECIDED THEY WOULD
STRAIGHTEN THEIR OWN HAIR
331
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,787
IN LEX'S CELLAR.
332
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,456
WHAT?
333
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,426
THAT'S VERY INTERESTING.
334
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,228
IT ALL STARTED
335
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:18,898
WHEN HE TOOK A PRETTY YOUNG LADY
TO THE OLD EARL THEATER
336
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:23,436
AND SAW A GROUP CALLED
"THE ICICLES" WITH BREEZY BROWN.
337
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,273
BREEZY BROWN
HAD STRAIGHTENED HIS HAIR.
338
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,541
MOST SINGERS STRAIGHTENED
THEIR HAIR BACK THEN.
339
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:32,111
YOUR FATHER'S DATE WENT WILD.
340
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,946
RIGHT THEN,
HE DECIDED
341
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:34,881
HE WOULD LOSE HER
342
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,850
IF HE DIDN'T
STRAIGHTEN HIS HAIR.
343
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,390
YOU DID THAT FOR A GIRL?
344
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,892
ONE PARTICULAR GIRL.
345
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,561
IN THOSE DAYS, PEOPLE USED
TO STRAIGHTEN THEIR HAIR WITH
346
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:52,765
A SOLUTION CALLED CONKALENE.
347
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,934
IT COST MONEY
348
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,470
AND YOUR FATHER WAS FLAT BROKE
349
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:02,108
SO HE AND LEX
MIXED UP THEIR OWN SOLUTION--
350
00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:06,913
POTATO PEELS, CORN SYRUP,
AND A TOUCH OF NITROGLYCERIN.
351
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:14,887
THIS MAN,
A FUTURE DOCTOR
352
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,457
HAD IT POURED SLOWLY
353
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,926
OVER HIS HEAD.
354
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:21,127
WHAT HAPPENED?
355
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:24,531
IT BURNED ALL MY HAIR.
IT WASN'T THAT BAD.
356
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:27,234
HE SHOT OUT OF THERE
LIKE A BOLT
357
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,436
PUSHED LEX'S DOG ASIDE
358
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,439
AND STUCK HIS HEAD
IN THE DOG'S WATER DISH.
359
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,207
YOU MUST HAVE LIKED THATGIRL.
360
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,644
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HER?
361
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,046
SHE'S IN THE KITCHEN NOW.
362
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:43,550
YOU BURNED ALL THE HAIR
OFF YOUR HEAD FOR MOM?
363
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,753
OH, MY GOD!
364
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,091
LET HIM BE.
365
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:55,628
GUESS WHAT?
366
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,196
ONE OF THESE DAYS
367
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,699
YOU'RE GOING TO
NEED SOME MONEY.
368
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:05,605
IN THAT CASE,
WOULD YOU TELL HER?
369
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,139
IT WOULD BE
MY PLEASURE.
370
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,641
CLAIR?
371
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:14,414
WHAT IS THE CRAZIEST THING
THAT A CERTAIN YOUNG MAN--
372
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:20,820
I'M NOT NAMING ANY NAMES--
DID TO IMPRESS YOU?
373
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,324
YOU MEAN WHEN CLIFF TRIED
TO STRAIGHTEN HIS HAIR?
374
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,127
DADDY DID THAT
FOR YOU?
375
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:32,231
HE TRIED,
BUT IT ALL FELL OUT.
376
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,034
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
377
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,571
YOU REMEMBER THAT
KIND OF FONDLY?
378
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,373
I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.
379
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:43,776
THEO, FOR THE
LOVE OF A YOUNG LADY
380
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:46,579
HAS DONE SOMETHING
FOOLISH HIMSELF.
381
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:48,981
PROMISE YOU
WON'T GET MAD.
382
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,317
OKAY, I PROMISE.
383
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,118
HE PIERCED HIS EAR.
384
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:54,020
I'LL KILL HIM.
385
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,054
WAIT A MINUTE!
386
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:56,956
HE MADE
A MISTAKE.
387
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:58,625
HE'S A LOT
LIKE HIS FATHER.
388
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:03,596
MANY'S THE TIME
I'VE PULLED HIM OUT OF TROUBLE.
389
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:07,800
BUT I WAS PATIENT AND
UNDERSTANDING AND TOLERANT...
390
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,403
HOW COULD YOU TELL
A STORY LIKE THAT?
391
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:13,406
WHEN HEATHCLIFF CAME HOME
WITH A SIZZLING SCALP
392
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,908
YOU WERE NOT
VERY UNDERSTANDING
393
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:21,013
ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE
MATTER OF A CERTAIN TATTOO.
394
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,014
TATTOO?
395
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:22,649
LET'S EAT.
396
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,584
WHAT TATTOO?
397
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,753
DINNER WON'T BE READY
FOR A WHILE.
398
00:21:26,853 --> 00:21:30,022
I'LL HAVE
SOME CHEESE.
399
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,123
I REALLY
DON'T THINK
400
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:32,825
THAT IS AN
APPROPRIATE ISSUE
401
00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:35,495
TO DISCUSS IN FRONT
OF THE FAMILY.
402
00:21:35,595 --> 00:21:38,898
WHEN YOUR FATHER
WAS THEODORE'S AGE
403
00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:42,168
HE WAS ENAMORED OF ME
TO SUCH AN EXTENT
404
00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:46,739
THAT HE HAD MY NAME
TATTOOED ACROSS HIS CHEST.
405
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,712
HE DID WHAT?
406
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,381
WHEN I HEARD
WHAT HE'D DONE
407
00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:57,384
I WAS ENORMOUSLY
FLATTERED
408
00:21:57,484 --> 00:22:00,420
UNTIL I SAW
MY NAME WAS MISSPELLED.
409
00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:04,591
AS I UNDERSTOOD IT,
HE WENT TO
410
00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:08,695
THE BEST TATTOO MAN
IN THE COUNTY--
411
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,597
"HOT NEEDLE" HARRIS.
412
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:18,538
IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF FEBRUARY,
AND RUSSELL HAD A TERRIBLE COLD
413
00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:22,875
SO WHEN HE WENT TO "HOT NEEDLE"
AND TOLD HIM TO WRITE "ANNA"
414
00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:27,414
HIS NOSE WAS CLOGGED UP,
AND IT SOUNDED LIKE "ADDA"--
415
00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:30,417
A-D-D-A.
416
00:22:31,418 --> 00:22:34,687
MY CHIEF RIVAL THEN
FOR RUSSELL'S AFFECTION
417
00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:37,457
WAS A GIRL NAMED
ADDA MAE WARD.
418
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:40,427
OH, NO!
419
00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:41,027
SHE WAS A
LITTLE GIRL
420
00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:43,530
WHO LIVED DOWN THE ROAD
421
00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:46,766
AND THOUGHT THE SUN DIDN'T SHINE
UNTIL SHE WOKE UP.
422
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:57,176
OF COURSE, I INSISTED
THAT HE REMOVE THE TATTOO
423
00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:58,344
AND THAT LEFT A SCAR
424
00:22:58,445 --> 00:22:59,679
ON HIS
CHEST.
425
00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:09,188
YOU TOLD ME
426
00:23:09,288 --> 00:23:14,661
THAT YOU GOT THAT SCAR
IN WORLD WAR TWO...
427
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:24,937
FIGHTING OFF A GERMAN
NAZI PANZER ATTACK.
428
00:23:25,037 --> 00:23:29,075
THAT WAS THE BEST WAY
I COULD THINK OF
429
00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:34,146
TO DESCRIBE WHAT I WENT THROUGH
WHEN ANNA SAW THAT TATTOO.
430
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:37,349
I'M SHOCKED.
431
00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:38,818
YOU HUXTABLE
MEN ARE CRAZY.
432
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:39,919
YES.
433
00:23:40,019 --> 00:23:43,289
BUT WE ALWAYS GET OUR WOMEN.
434
00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:45,592
BUT NOT BECAUSE OF
THE THINGS YOU DO--
435
00:23:45,692 --> 00:23:48,561
DESPITE THEM.
436
00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:52,699
THEODORE, WELCOME
TO THE CLUB.
437
00:23:55,001 --> 00:23:57,069
THE THREE HUXTABLE MEN--
438
00:23:57,169 --> 00:24:03,209
SCAR-CHEST, SKINHEAD,
AND HOLE-IN-THE-LOBE.
439
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:10,983
Captioning Made Possible By
440
00:24:11,083 --> 00:24:13,986
THE METROPOLITAN
LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY
441
00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:17,690
Captioned By
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation
29088
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