Original subtitles

[Mabel Mora] So what's next, podcast-wise?

- [gunshot, glass shatters] - [body thuds]

[Oliver Putnam] What we need is a hot, fresh, dead body,

preferably right here or very near to here.

I got another email from that Bev Melon.

They wanna make a movie of our podcast.

- Paramount? - They wanna fly us all out to LA

- for some meeting next week. - [applause, cheering]

Let's talk movies!

[Charles-Haden Savage] I invited Sazz to the party,

but she's back to not responding and she usually gets right back to me.

She had something "sensitive" to discuss with me.

She's had so many joints replaced by metal.

Apparently, the best ones come from Bulgaria.

What's all this?

[Lester] [on phone] You need your kitchen window replaced.

Something left a little hole.

[Charles] Like a bullet hole?

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[Sazz Pataki] Okay, make... Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Well, hold on there.

Stunt people are not actually daredevils.

Sure, we find danger sexy.

You know, we like to flirt with it,

buy it a drink,

but we don't let it get into our pants. You know?

We do danger safely.

So, if we do get hurt,

we live to fall another day.

[slight chuckle]

You know who taught me that?

The best stuntman in the world.

My old man, Slim Pataki.

[♪ nostalgic music playing]

- I come from a long line of stunt people. - [Slim Pataki] Are you ready?

- [young Sazz] Yeah! - Here we go!

[adult Sazz] You know, while most parents are trying

to keep their kids away from danger...

- [screams] - Oh!

...mine taught me how to play in it. Honest to God.

Again, again, again!

[adult Sazz] There's no point in trying not to fall.

You always fall. But the trick is

you get up, you dust yourself off,

and make sure you don't become dust.

[♪ nostalgic music fades out]

[Mabel] Charles, are you okay?

[Oliver] What do you need? We're here.

What do I do?

I can't wash her down the drain! Ah!

M-Maybe we could...

get a wipe?

Yes. Yes, a nice, respectful wipe.

Sazz can't end up on a wipe.

Well, you could just leave them like that.

Then, you'd have permanent Sazz hands. [chuckles]

I'd like to take that one back.

I'm gonna call the police.

- Okay. - Great. Yeah.

- Do you want me to... - No.

I know what I'll do. [sniffles]

I'll wash her into a bowl.

- Great plan. - A bowl!

Then, I can take the water and ashes, pour 'em into something,

let the water evaporate.

Maybe a Mason jar!

- Oh, homey. Cozy. What a good... That... - Yes, a Mason jar.

- I love Mason jars. - And we will go get that for you now.

Yes.

[cabinet opens]

- [Mason jar clinks] - [♪ heartfelt music playing]

Sazz...

♪

♪

- [splashing] - Ah!

[gasping]

[gasps]

[splashing]

[sighs]

Hey, hey, hey, don't sweat it.

Me being dead is the least of your problemos.

Also, get your hands off my boobs.

- [♪ lively theme song playing] - [♪ Sazz whistling]

[♪ vocalizing]

[♪ theme song fades out]

[air whistling]

[Oliver] Um... [grunts]

[gagging, sniffling]

[sputtering]

Oh, God, she's all over me, too!

'Course this is the week my dry cleaner bumps up his pricing.

Oliver, will you stop shaking Sazz onto the floor and line up the shot?

Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry. O-Okay. So... Alright.

So, if that's where Sazz was hit,

then the angle puts the shooter

in the corner apartment across the way.

[Mabel] But, what if...

she was shot here and then fell?

Then, she was shot by the...

- the window next door. - [Charles] Okay!

My hands are clean.

Sazz is in the jar,

not in this room.

I'm gonna put her right here.

Okay, s... Wait, no!

I'm gonna put her here

because Sazz used to love sitting on this counter.

So, this is absolutely...

Unless we put her over...

No, this is good. This is absolutely good

because it is time to enact protocol.

Let's call the police.

- Hold on! Hold on. - Wait! I mean,

- yes, do what you need to do. - Whatever you need.

Absolutely, Charles. It's just that we thought

maybe we could talk to some people

before the whole building...

comes under siege.

Okay. What do we know so far?

Okay, so Sazz came up here for the wine.

There's a bullet hole in the glass.

And I found a couple of shards on the window seal,

so it seems the bullet came in, not out.

And also, Howard's cadaver dog thinks there was a body about here,

and then dragged to the trash chute

by someone who had access to your apartment,

which is terrifying.

And we know we found Sazz in the incinerator.

[sighs] Poor Sazz.

Poor Sazz.

I wish I had something to add, but I'm just a manifestation

of your rapidly declining mental state, so...

The shot came from the West Tower,

probably somewhere across on the 14th floor.

But we need to know exactly where the body was

to know which apartment.

Oh! We could Luminol the floors! I could Postmates us a bottle.

Yes!

A-And what is Luminol, my little murder nerds?

It's a chemical that makes blood glow in the dark.

Also, other bodily fluids. That's how I found out

what the construction workers were doing in my old apartment.

Ew.

I don't get it. Who would kill Sazz? Everybody loves Sazz.

Well, remember,

the shooter was in the Arconia,

focusing on... your apartment.

And they shot a person dressed like you

in your kitchen.

You see where this is going!

I see where this is going!

You think I was the target?

That's preposterous!

I was People magazine's 8th Most Beloved TV Cop!

In 1989.

'91.

[Sazz] Hmm.

Okay, clearly Sazz was into something weird,

but what about these notes we found in her apartment?

You got... Look, look. "Sick pup."

This one just has random numbers.

- [Oliver] Yeah. - "Dudenoff."

No idea what that means.

"Looking at Charles."

It's a mistake to make assumptions this early in an investigation.

[Sazz] Don't let them get in your head.

If you were the target,

it means I was killed because of you,

and that kind of guilt will paralyze you.

We don't know who the target was!

[Oliver groans]

[Oliver] Listen,

buddy, m-maybe we make lists of people

who, uh, hate you and people who hated Sazz.

Might be fastest to start with Sazz.

Ah...

Sazz was dating Jan, a convicted murderer,

and Sazz said she needed to break up with Jan.

And we know what Jan does to people who break up with her.

Okay, but Jan is in prison,

and you broke up with her, too.

Right. I'm calling 911.

It's been a week, and Sazz's Bulgarian left shoulder and knee

are still in that incinerator.

[line ringing]

[operator] [on phone] 911. Are you in immediate danger?

No! There's no proof of that!

- [operator] Alright, then please hold. - [beep, line ringing]

[NYPD hold voice] Thank you for calling 911.

There are... 68... emergencies ahead of you.

Sixty-eight!

Okay, it looks like our glorious city has given us a minute.

Why don't we talk through what we know about the residents

of the West Tower?

Ah...

- [♪ plucky music playing] - The Westies.

They're an odd bunch. Weirdos.

Loners.

Renters.

You don't have to say it like that.

Yeah, boomer, not everyone was alive

when an apartment cost a bag of beans.

I'd kill to rent anything.

[Oliver] Alright, Charles. Tell us about the Westies

- and why they might, for argument's sake, - [record button beeps]

want you dead.

There's Stink-Eye Joe.

[gunshot]

Seems hostile.

Always looking over here,

giving me the stink-eye.

Ah.

There's the Sauce Family.

- [gunshot] - Always stirring some kind of sauce

at all hours

and looking over here.

Three people, lots of pots,

- always stirring. - [Oliver gasps]

Are they stirring up a nice batch o' murder?

[Charles] There's the oddest one of all.

Christmas-all-the-Time Guy.

- [gunshot] - Handsome guy, always working out.

Never takes down his Christmas decorations.

Wears a Christmas sweater all-year-round.

That's most of the floor I can see.

Besides that one apartment that never opens its blinds.

I see the lights go on and off sometimes,

but I never see anyone in there.

- [Oliver] Interesting. - [stops recording]

Okay, let's sniff around before the cops come.

I think we have to go down around the block to get in, right?

That's right. They sealed off the West Tower from the real Arconia

after a Westie opened a brothel.

Pretty good one, too.

Okay, Charles, text us when 911 picks up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Sazz was my stunt double. I wanna investigate.

- [closing blinds] - [Mabel] Listen,

I know we don't know who the target was,

but just to be safe,

why don't you help out in here?

With the blinds closed. Stay on hold.

Make a new murder board. Um, Postmates the Luminol.

- [record button beeps] - Luminol! Postmates.

It was the most technical we'd ever been.

[stops recording]

You know this is all happening. We might as well just get started.

Hey!

You're giving me busy work!

Charles, this is a big job. We need you to stay safe in here.

- And stay on hold. - Yeah.

- You don't need to go out there to help. - Right.

'Course, they tried to shoot you in here.

I was not the target!

Of course, you weren't!

But deadbolt the door. The killer might have had a key.

We love you, buddy.

We do.

I want to have said that.

[Mabel] Charles, deadbolt!

[deadbolt clicks]

- [sighs] - Okay, he is talking to no one.

Hey, I've talked to a few dead people before.

Hey, I once invented a whole Fosse number of you and Charles dancing.

- You had better gams. - Hey, what's that?

"Building meeting tonight.

"Keep our home from being overrun

by a Hollywood movie shoot."

No, no, no, no. This movie has to happen.

It's the only way I can keep up with my sexy, successful girlfriend.

Also, did you know Loretta's co-star is internet famous

for something called a "Jon Hamm-in-the-pants situation"?

Oh, I know. Went deep down that rabbit hole

- one rainy afternoon. - [doors rumble]

[Sazz] [on TV] Gates of Heaven.

You ever seen it? It's the first time

I ever saw real people just being themselves

and being worthy as characters, too.

- [TV Sazz continues] - It was about pet cemeteries.

But with some...

deep existential shit about the afterlife.

[TV Sazz] And not for the dead so much, I really...

[Charles] You've been on film hundreds of times,

and the only way the world will remember your face

is on this old documentary.

Well,

being on film is not the only way to be remembered.

[puts down remote]

You know, even if you were the target,

you don't have to feel bad.

That's the gig.

I take hits for my guy.

[Charles] They're just trying to scare me.

I'm not gonna get scared in my own apart...

[loud thump]

[whispers] Closet.

Don't know why I'm whispering. I'm just your subconscious.

[thump]

[♪ suspenseful music playing]

♪

Hello, Charles.

[wheezing screams]

Yep. She's real.

[elevator dings]

[hushed] Wow... The West Tower.

[record button beeps]

Somewhere in this pit lay a sniper's nest.

Okay, this is our one chance to meet people casually

before the cops put everyone on alert.

So, let's look out some windows and chat.

- Look for the weird. - Okay, first up,

the menacing Stink-Eye Joe.

Okay. [sniffs, clears throat]

[door creaks]

Hey! [laughs]

It's the famous podcasters from the East Tower!

- Why, yes, that's us. - Uh, hi, I'm Mabel.

I don't know if you're aware,

but they're going to be shooting a movie here based on our podcast.

- [gasps] A movie? - [Oliver] Yes, major stars. Very exciting.

So we're scouting possible locations to shoot from.

- In! To shoot in. - Exactly.

With cameras. N-N-Not bang-bang shoot.

Yeah.

So would you be interested in showing us your apartment?

Oh, yeah! I love the movies!

I'll show you anything you want! Come on in!

[♪ gentle music playing]

Vince Fish.

Listen, I gotta apologize for the eye patch.

I have antibiotic-resistant pink eye,

and it leaves one eye, and then goes back into the other,

and then back and forth and back and forth like a...

like a virus playing hopscotch! Anyhoo...

- [Oliver snorts] - I gotta put a compress on it,

but I don't like to hold it in my hands

because I'm highly contagious, okay?

So, I came up with this system!

- Ah, pink eye. Yes. - That's a good idea.

S-So, would you mind if we glance out your window

to see if it gives us the right angle on the East Tower?

Yeah, yeah, come on over!

Yeah, I-I mean, you get a good vantage point from over here.

Everybody looks so small.

You could pretend that they're not even people.

They're just like little ants, and you just squish 'em!

You just squish 'em!

But I can see your place, Oliver.

Over there on 10.

And, uh, Mabel,

y-you used to live at 12, and...

there's your friend's place.

What's up with him and his lonely omelets?

And why is he always staring?

Well, who could say why people do what they do.

Anyway, a shot from here won't work

because th-the windows are painted shut.

[window struggling]

- [Mabel] Oh. Um... - Ow.

That's too bad.

Yeah. Must be hard for you Easties to imagine.

You're always lifting your windows,

and letting in the fresh air.

Anyhow! I'm going to the neighbors to play some Oh Hell,

so if you wanna come along, you can. You can check out their place, right?

- Uh... Yes. - Oh, that would be fantastic.

- We'd love that. - Yeah, super! New friends!

[Oliver groans]

- Back! Stay back. - [♪ tense music playing]

How did you get out of prison?

A mix of parkour Sazz taught me

and psychosexual manipulation.

I won't bore or arouse you with deets.

Well, I'm not bored. [clicks tongue]

And thanks for the tip about the secret passageways

in the second season of your podcast.

Super helpful.

Charles! Stop scurrying!

I'm not here to kill you.

I broke out because I'm worried about Sazz.

Worried about Sazz? What, why?

[Jan Bellows] She called last week and sounded upset.

I haven't heard from her since.

Have you?

[NYPD hold voice] [on phone] Thank you for calling 911.

There are... 32... emergencies ahead of you.

Charles.

Why did you call 911?

- I'll tell you if you don't kill me. - I'll kill you if you don't tell me.

Touché.

- Oh. [soft laugh] - [opens dishwasher]

I've been meaning to wash these.

[knives clatter]

[beep, shuts dishwasher]

[dishwasher whirring]

- We're really more like family over here. - [shuts door]

You know, the apartments may be smaller,

- but the hearts are bigger. [laughs] - Oh.

Maybe that's why I have an enlarged heart.

[laughing]

- Inez! - [knocking]

- We have guests! - [door creaks]

[gasps] Fresh meat! [laughs]

Ha!

- Get in here. [laughing] - Come on.

- [♪ upbeat music playing] - [Inez] Come on. Come on. Oh!

- [Mabel] Hi, there. - Hi! Hi.

- [Inez laughs] - [awkward laugh]

- Ah! Alfonso! Mira! [laughing] - [Alfonso] Yeah, mami?

Fix your face.

[Vince Fish] They wanna play Oh Hell with us.

[Alfonso] Oh! [laughing]

- So nice to finally meet you! - [patting back]

- Right? A meeting of the towers. - [kissing]

Wh-Why haven't we done this earlier?

- My mom wishes you brought your friend. - Ana! [laughs]

She's right, though.

Mm-hmm. Inez is in love with Brazzos. [laughs]

Ah...

No, seriously. When we first moved in,

she spotted him across the courtyard, almost peed herself.

I thought I was gonna have to take the guy out, you know?

Wow. Years of living across from your...

wife's crush must be hard, huh?

Especially when your wife puts on a push-up bra to cook.

Can I help it if Brazzos likes to watch me make sauce?

Mom! I need to move out.

Alright, come on, come on. Let's get started.

You're gonna love this game.

But be careful.

It's a little dangerous.

- [Inez] Ah-ha! [laughs] - [all groan]

So?

What do you think of Oh Hell?

Well, it's, uh, titillating. A little confusing.

Reminds me of this traumatic game of strip Pinochle I once played

with the wonderful Frank Langella, wh-whose drapes do not match the...

He definitely loves it.

So, Mabel, did you achieve?

I don't think so.

- [Oliver] Oh. - Okay, I really, really want to.

- [laughs] - Why am I so obsessed already?

- It's so addictive. - Mm.

I bet your friend Mr. Savage would like it.

He's my hall pass. You know.

Which is not supposed to be a thing

with anyone you actually have a chance of meeting

or, you know,

anyone who's constantly staring through your window with his stupid fuckin' face.

Dad, I think you can relax about Brazzos.

He has brittle bones. Mom would shatter him.

- I'd sure like to try! - [Vince laughs]

Where's this one running off to?

I just need a pick-me-up. Where's the knife?

Oh, um, on the bathroom sink. I just sharpened it.

[♪ jaunty music playing]

- [Alfonso inhales] - [Inez] Mm.

Alright! Now, I need a hit.

[laughs] You can't resist!

That's my baby!

[laughs, sighs]

[knife slices]

♪

[Oliver sighs]

So, wh-what is going on in the bathroom?

Sorry. Westie secret.

[Jan] A sniper?

[panting]

Snipers are assholes.

What's the point of killing if you're not up close for the release?

That's the best part.

You remember, Charles?

I really loved her.

We worked together almost 40 years.

She took every blow for me.

We'd come to the most dangerous part of the scene,

and the director would yell, "Freeze,"

and I would freeze. And then Sazz would say...

- Tap in. - "...Tap in." And then,

she would get run over by an airboat while I had a Fresca.

She couldn't find much doubling work

because her height didn't match many women.

[♪ somber music playing]

She said you gave her the shot that started her life.

She loved you.

[sighs] Jeez. This is getting sappy.

She's the reason I haven't killed you,

despite hours of fantasizing.

Well, thank you, Sazz.

Now, I need to borrow a shirt.

This one's covered in prison guard brain.

[Jan sighs]

Prison guard brain?

That's our Jan.

[Mabel] Oh, hell!

Wow! I needed that!

[grunting]

B-A-D!

- [Inez] [gasps] Oh! You won! - Oh! I achieved?

- [laughter, clapping] - I achieved!

- [Vince] You did it? - Oh, my God!

- Oh, I missed it! - [Alfonso] Okay, newbie.

I think that earns you a trip to the bathroom.

Here you go, buddy.

Oh. I-I don't know that I-I need to...

- [Inez] He's right, you earned it. - [Alfonso] Ollie.

I insist.

[nervous laugh]

[Inez] Get in there. Get in there.

- [Oliver groans] - [all] Get in there. Get in there.

- Get in there! Get in there! - [Ana] Take the knife!

- [Inez] Come on! - [all] Get in there!

Get in there! Get in there! Get in there!

- Get in there! Get in there! - [♪ ominous music playing]

[Inez] Take that knife! [laughs]

[excited chatter]

- Get in there! - [shrieks]

Is that a person?

Don't be ridiculous. It's a ham.

Imported from Portugal, very special.

[gasps]

[Oliver] It's a ham, Mabel! It's a ham in the shower!

- [Vince] Yeah! - Go get it!

- Alright! - [cheers]

- Alright! - [laughter]

So, uh, it sounds like we've met most everybody on this side of the floor

except for Christmas Guy and whoever is in that place

with the lockbox on it. Who lives there?

- Oh, um, that's the Dudenoff place. - [Inez kicks Ana]

♪

Dudenoff?

Do you know how we could contact them?

[overlapping negative chatter]

I don't even think he has a telephone.

[awkward silence]

Sazz was very worried about you, Charles.

And the day's looking up.

She said she thought someone had eyes on you.

She was poking around the building because of it.

This building? She was looking into someone who lives here?

I don't know, but last time we talked,

she said she thought there might be another murderer in the building.

It was last Wednesday, after my Lifers' Hip-Hop Dance Club.

That was the night she died.

Charles, you get rid of the body

because you've killed the wrong person,

and you don't want the right person on alert.

And, trust me, once you've crossed over and tried to kill,

if you fail,

you come up with way more fucked-up ways to finish the job.

- [knocking at door] - Time to go.

- [Mabel] Charles! - [Oliver] Open up!

- [knocking] - Stupid cops are gonna pin this on me,

- so I gotta disappear. - [knocking, yelling]

I was hoping to make love one last time, Charles, before you're murdered.

Maybe at least some mutual masturbation, but ships passing, I guess.

[Mabel] Where are you?

- Well, you know, we got a little time... - I'll miss you, Charles.

I hope it's quick. Woof!

- [pounding at door] - [Mabel and Oliver yelling]

- [Oliver] Open up! - [Mabel] Open the door!

- [Oliver] Charles! - [Mabel] Charles!

Hi! Okay, so the apartment with the closed blinds

is someone named Dudenoff. From Sazz's note!

Now, we don't know who that is,

but the Westies are very weird about it.

Also, they eat toilet ham.

- What? - [Mabel] And Stink-Eye Joe

- is really just Pink-Eye Joe. - Yeah.

Which is arguably worse, but... You made a board!

Oh, that's so good!

Who knows why Sazz was over there,

but there is a lockbox on that Dudenoff door.

[Charles] [quietly] Guys.

[mouthing]

Jan was here. She was here!

Jan was here?

- Yeah! - [Oliver] Uh-huh...

And is she still here?

Well, I didn't... Ah!

[Sazz] Can't you still smell her?

I can. [inhales deeply] Mm.

[♪ plucky music playing]

- Charles, Jan is in prison. - Yeah.

How could she be in your closet?

Parkour.

- Ah. - [record button beeps]

And that is when we realized

that Charles had begun his descent into madness.

- [stops recording] - Guys, I was the target.

The shot was for me.

Sazz died for me.

[NYPD hold voice] Thank you for calling 911.

There are... 19... emergencies ahead of you.

- Okay! You're doing good at hold. - Yeah.

Uh, did you order the Luminol?

- It's on its way. - [Oliver] Good for you, dude!

- We're proud of ya. - H-Hey, Oliver.

- Look. The numbers. - [Oliver] Is that the code

- for the lockbox? - Maybe.

[shutter snaps]

W-We're gonna try to get into the Dudenoff place

as fast as possible, and then we'll be back.

Okay, just text us if the cops pick up

or the Luminol comes. You're doing great.

[keypad beeping]

Charles isn't doing so great.

Yeah, we have to find the killer soon. He's a dead man walking.

- [lockbox whirs] - Oh, goody, it works.

- [click, door creaks open] - [distant street noise]

[lights click, buzz]

[door creaks, shuts]

Okay, if anyone actually lives here, they're definitely a psychopath.

A ham radio. So much ham up here.

[shutter snaps]

[shutter snaps]

[blinds rattle]

Hey.

Look, there's a footprint on the radiator.

[Oliver] And paint chips. The window was pried open.

[shutter snapping]

- [window rattles] - Ah!

This must be the sniper's nest.

It's also pretty spacious for a studio.

Ho, ho, ho.

Is this tinsel?

[Mabel] Oliver!

- What!? - [Mabel] More ham!

- [oinking] - He's so cute! What's your name?

Piggie Smalls? Notorious P.I.G.?

- [loud banging] - Jesus!

- [pig snorting] - Oh shit.

- [♪ suspenseful music playing] - [door rattling]

[pig squealing]

[♪ music swells]

- [keypad beeping] - [pig snorting]

[lockbox whirring]

- [loud bang] - Oh!

- [♪ hits piano note] - Shh!

[Oliver snorts]

[whispers] Wait.

- [♪ suspenseful music playing] - [peephole squeaks]

[♪ music swells]

[door slams nearby]

- [pig squeals] - [both yell]

- [♪ dramatic music playing] - The pig's loose!

Well, at least he has a chance. Go!

Let's gather up some things and get outta here.

I'm scared to leave here now.

We stay down here.

Nice and safe.

Forever.

Many cultures sit on the floor to eat. It'll be great.

[NYPD hold voice] Thank you for calling 911.

There are... eight... emergencies ahead of you.

We're almost there.

[text notification chimes]

That would be the Luminol.

Downstairs.

You don't have to go down there.

Delegate.

Let strangers find the killer of your fiercest protector.

[Sazz sighs]

I've gotta at least go get the box.

[sighs] Just gotta, uh, pick up a package.

That's easy. I pick up a package without getting kil... Ew.

Uh... Okay. [muttering]

I'll go in disguise... Oh. I'll go in disguise. Alright.

I'll say to Lester, "Don't look up and don't say my name,

but give me that package."

- [officer] NYPD! - [Charles] Don't kill me!

[officers shouting]

- Savage, are you safe? - What? I don't know, am I?

Jan Bellows escaped using parkour and psychosexual manipulation.

Then, we found sketches of her doing some really fucked-up shit to you.

Acid showers, golden showers.

Now, I'm not really sure how that kills anyone,

but we need to inspect your bathroom.

See? She is real! She was here!

She was here?

And you didn't report it, which you know is a crime?

Savage, is there anything you wanna tell me?

[911 operator] 911, what's your emergency?

Hello?

I'd like to report a murder.

[sighs] Shut the fuckin' fuck up.

You might wanna check the incinerator.

Also, we grabbed your package.

[911 operator] Sir, did you say a murder?

Come on, let's go. Cops won't be in the basement forever.

Are we allowed to do this to a crime scene?

Forgiveness instead of permission is kind of our thing.

Okay. And what does this Luminol do again?

It'll show us where Sazz bled out.

- Uh-huh. - Are you ready?

I...

I need a moment first.

[sighs]

[sighs]

I failed you today, Sazz.

[clicks tongue] Well, I wasn't at my best either.

- And I'm you, so, yeah. - [sighs]

- We lost our shit. - Hm.

How am I ever gonna find your killer if I'm afraid to go outside?

I don't know how to do this. All I know how to do is freeze.

You need a stunt double.

- Remember in season one... - Mm.

...we had that big explosion stunt at the strip club?

- Mm-hmm. - And for hours,

you were running and diving in this, uh,

filthy river.

- Yeah. My hair caught on fire. Yeah. - Your hair caught on fire.

And that was all before lunch.

Which I was having, uh,

alone, as usual.

And then,

you came banging on my trailer door,

and you brought in five crew guys

that I had never talked to,

and they all thanked me for inviting them to a poker game

- which I hadn't. - Little white lie.

And then,

I had this weekly poker game

for the next eight years.

You found me friends.

- [♪ soft music playing] - What was that guy? Th-The grip?

He was so funny. And the,

uh, big guy with the hair. Was it Schma? Schma?

- Schmeong. - Schmeong.

Yeah.

You were more than just a stunt double.

You took care of me

in every way a person could take care of someone.

You're my oldest,

best friend.

What'll I do without you?

[sighs]

[Mabel] Charles? We should do this.

[♪ tense music playing]

She was right here.

Hey. Look at this.

Did she write a message with her blood?

Charles, do you know what that means?

Yes.

I do.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[Sazz] Another thing my father taught me. If you wanna have a long career,

you need to find your person.

Your number one.

The one you always fall for.

And the day I met Charles-Haden Savage,

I knew I'd found mine.

[blinds rattle]

And it's not just about a steady gig.

Finding your number one pushes you

to unlock parts of yourself you didn't even know you had.

♪

Because everything you do,

you're doing for someone you care about.

"Oh hell."

They're not numbers.

They're letters.

[♪ dramatic music continues]

Did one of them kill Sazz?

[Mabel] We're gonna find out.

[Charles] We're not investigating Sazz's murder anymore.

We're investigating mine.

[♪ plucky music playing]

♪

[♪ music fades out]

[♪ fanfare playing]