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1
00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:04,838
[Oliver Putnam] "This dusty old chestnut
has been Botoxed,
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00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,216
bedazzled, and brought back to life!"
3
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,800
[all cheering]
4
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,928
[Ben Glenroy]
Holy shit! Your mom poisoned me.
5
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,347
- I'm telling the cops.
- [yells]
6
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,017
Your mom confessed to killing Ben.
7
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,061
I know.
8
00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,646
But it wasn't her.
9
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,356
It was you at the elevator with Ben.
10
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,316
- [sirens blaring]
- [police radio chatter]
11
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:26,902
What'd you wish for?
12
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:34,201
Uh, that was Grey's New Orleans
Family Burn Unit.
13
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,827
They say they're willing to wait for you.
14
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,120
[all]
Sazz!
15
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,248
Something I need to talk to you about
when you get a sec, huh?
16
00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:40,582
- It's a little sensitive?
- Yeah, sure.
17
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:43,752
Since we're celebrating, I'm gonna
go upstairs, and I'm gonna get a bottle
18
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:47,422
of 1966 Argentinian Malbec
I've been saving.
19
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:50,801
[whistling]
20
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:53,011
- [gunshot, glass shatters]
- [body thuds]
21
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,973
Hey, what's taking her so long?
22
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:59,017
Sazz better not be drinking
our Malbecita del Cielo without us.
23
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,686
[gasps]
24
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:09,903
[gasping breaths]
25
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:14,157
- [♪ soft, bright music playing]
- [clicking]
26
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:16,368
[film projector whirring]
27
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:20,163
[Charles-Haden Savage] Motion pictures
were created over 100 years ago
28
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:23,876
and ever since then,
we've had countless moving images
29
00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:25,878
emblazoned in our memories.
30
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:28,672
And ever since then,
we've had a chance to ask,
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00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,591
"Is that how I look when I run?"
32
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,302
Teacher said I gotta do it!
33
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:36,930
I'm gonna be crazy.
You gotta help me over here.
34
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,265
You better, girl!
35
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,184
[Charles]
If you have old home movies of yourself,
36
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:43,437
it can be hard to relate to
the person you're watching.
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00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,606
"Is that really me
38
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,025
"or just who I used to be?
39
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:51,695
And is that how I want to be remembered?"
40
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:54,907
But at least we have
those images on screen.
41
00:01:54,907 --> 00:01:57,910
In that way, Ben Glenroy lives on,
42
00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,621
in his films, his TV shows,
43
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,206
and a Super Bowl commercial
44
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:05,292
where a baby stole his chili bowl.
45
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,836
Only hours ago, we solved his murder
46
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,963
and closed the curtain on not one,
47
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:13,175
but two criminal Broadway producers.
48
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:16,053
So, with that, friends in podcast land,
49
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:19,014
we conclude yet another season of
50
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,350
Only Murders in the Building.
51
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,018
Until next time,
52
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,896
- I'm Charles-Ha-- Hm?
- [electricity buzzes]
53
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,106
- [Mabel Mora] What the hell?!
- [Oliver] Jesus.
54
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,399
[electricity whirring]
55
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,860
Power surge.
That hasn't happened in a while.
56
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,862
Not since they banned the old incinerator.
57
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,198
Should I redo that last speech?
Maybe just the end?
58
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,908
And we're back up.
59
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:38,992
I need a... you know.
60
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,619
And... action!
61
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:42,955
...den Savage!
62
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:47,000
You can just splice that
onto the "Charles-Ha--"
63
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,418
Yeah, I'll get out the splicer.
64
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,170
What a night, huh?
65
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,506
Hey, why don't we head up to my place
for a-a proper nightcap?
66
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,717
Maybe a, a little quick toast
to the miracles we pulled off together.
67
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,720
I do like a sentimental moment,
especially if the liquor is good.
68
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,431
- Ha!
- I don't, but I like liquor.
69
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,475
- And away we go.
- [Oliver sighs]
70
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,186
[♪ soft, tense music playing]
71
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,271
[elevator dings]
72
00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:11,525
- Good.
- [Oliver sighs, sniffs]
73
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,734
[clicks button]
74
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,403
I've been saving that Malbec.
75
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,405
Weird Sazz never came back with it.
76
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,532
Oh yeah, whatever happened to her?
77
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,118
Who knows? Typical Sazz.
Here one minute, gone the next.
78
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,370
- [Mabel/Oliver] Hm.
- [doors bang]
79
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:27,416
Hey, did you guys see this email
from a "Bev Melon" about our podcast?
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00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:31,378
Bev Melon? Must be tough to have
a last name that's a fruit.
81
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:35,174
- [Oliver] Hm.
- Fiona Apple. Darryl Strawberry.
82
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,758
Gilbert Grape.
83
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,679
Something was always eating him.
84
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,514
- [Charles and Oliver chuckling]
- [elevator dings]
85
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,267
So, what's next, podcast-wise?
86
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,935
Charles, you mentioned a cold case?
87
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,188
Oh, please. If it was interesting,
it wouldn't be cold.
88
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:52,357
No, what we need is
a hot, fresh dead body,
89
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,569
preferably right here
or very near to here.
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00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:59,406
[Charles] It's true. We've been very lucky
with people dying in our building.
91
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:02,284
Yeah, but it is kind of
a flaw in our business model.
92
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,077
[Oliver]
Mm-hmm.
93
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,829
[Charles]
Oh, my God! There she is!
94
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,331
- [Mabel] What?
- [Oliver] Who?
95
00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,916
[Charles] Heh.
96
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,752
My Malbecita.
97
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,838
- So, Sazz never even made it up here?
- [Oliver] That's odd.
98
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,217
- [Oliver clears throat]
- Okay, watch this.
99
00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:21,386
- [clank]
- [bottle opener whirring]
100
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,388
- [Oliver] Mm.
- Wow, so cool.
101
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,682
Like stepping into
a Sharper Image catalog.
102
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:26,767
[cork pops]
103
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,644
See? And what's cool, the cork...
104
00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:30,395
- [whirring, bouncing]
- [startled yelling]
105
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,689
- [sighs] I've got it.
- [Oliver] [chuckles] Oh, my God.
106
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,025
- What a stupid--
- Oh shit!
107
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:38,612
- [♪ suspenseful music playing]
- I hope these spots don't stain.
108
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,036
[glasses clink]
109
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,830
[Charles] Mabel, it's fine.
Maybe a little time off is a good thing.
110
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,959
I mean, it's always a good thing
when someone doesn't get murdered, right?
111
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,919
- [Mabel] Yeah, always.
- [Oliver] Oh, absolutely.
112
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,629
But if someone had to get murdered,
113
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,840
let's all say who we hope it would be.
114
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,092
- [Mabel] That's in poor taste.
- [Oliver] Oh, no, no, it's fine.
115
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:02,344
Count of three. One, two...
116
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,930
- [Charles/Mabel] Oliver.
- [Oliver] Me?
117
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:07,057
[indistinct chatter, laughter]
118
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,851
[♪ lively theme song playing]
119
00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:11,937
[♪ vocalizing]
120
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:53,896
[♪ theme fades out]
121
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,983
- [wind blowing]
- [crow cawing]
122
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:01,195
[eerie creaking]
123
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,989
[boot steps on TV]
124
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,616
[creaking]
125
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:09,161
[windmill creaking]
126
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:15,125
- [distant train whistling]
- [fly buzzing]
127
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:18,378
- [screeching train whistling]
- [train wheels clacking]
128
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:23,592
[anachronistic train whistle blaring]
129
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:27,596
[soft wind blowing]
130
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,895
[faint street noise]
131
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:41,109
[wind continues]
132
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:47,950
[kettle whistling]
133
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:54,581
- [click, kettle stops]
- [wind whistling]
134
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,753
- [banging on door]
- [Oliver] Charles! Open up!
135
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:00,921
Charles!
136
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,757
Dead! They've closed us!
137
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,467
Death Rattle Dazzle, it's over!
138
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,553
- It's all over!
- [Mabel] Help.
139
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,596
- [♪ upbeat music playing]
- Yes, I crashed at Oliver's.
140
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:13,225
Yes, I'm still homeless.
Yes, this is his least offensive robe.
141
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,935
I've been on the phone all morning.
142
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,104
Donna and Cliff have
pulled their financing!
143
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,188
[door slams]
144
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,523
For "bail" and "defense attorneys,"
145
00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,149
some stupid shit like that!
146
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,651
- What about our great reviews?
- [Oliver] One!
147
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:25,571
One great review. Maxine.
The rest were middling, at best.
148
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,532
- So we don't have to do it again?
- Charles, not helping.
149
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,284
Last night, I was King of Broadway.
150
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:32,494
A-And now, I'm in God's toilet!
151
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,663
I wish I could drop dead right here!
152
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,248
Oh, oh, and get this.
153
00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,250
I told my sweet Loretta the show's over,
154
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,877
she's already flying off to LA tonight.
155
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,837
She's got a TV gig lined up.
156
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:43,714
Didn't you tell her to take that?
157
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,465
I didn't think she would!
158
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,176
[whines] Oh, I'm dizzy.
159
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,969
The room is spinning.
160
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,888
[panting] This is it.
161
00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,806
Th-The end of the road.
162
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,434
[in baby voice]
[panting] Mama?
163
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:56,727
Mama, I'm cold!
164
00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:59,479
Hey, I'm sorry about all this,
but it could be worse.
165
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,691
All morning, I have been
hearing this whistling sound.
166
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,903
I might have a brain tumor!
167
00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:07,988
- [normal] Look, don't try to cheer me up.
- [door opens]
168
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:11,450
[Howard Morris]
Guess who got a new puppy!
169
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:15,329
- [paws tapping]
- Everybody, say hello to Gravey.
170
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,788
[Charles/Oliver/Mabel]
Gravy?
171
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,457
I just adopted her.
172
00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,417
I went looking for a cat,
and I came home with Gravey.
173
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,628
The shelter won't let me
adopt any more cats.
174
00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:25,047
Apparently, I'm on a list.
I've hired a lawyer.
175
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:27,007
Anyway, Sevelyn loves her.
176
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,301
They sleep in the same bed
right on top of each other.
177
00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:31,553
So, Sevelyn's covered in Gravy?
178
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,680
Yes, and I eat 'em both up.
179
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,349
[giggles] Don't I eat you up, Gravey?
180
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:38,268
Yes, I do! Yes, I do!
I lap up all my Gravey!
181
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:42,272
You know, Mabel, Gravey is retired.
She used to be a working girl.
182
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,609
- Really? What did she do?
- [Howard] They didn't tell me.
183
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:49,655
But it got me thinking, we should do
a podcast about animals and their jobs.
184
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:50,864
[Gravey panting]
185
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,950
A-Are you pitching me right now?
186
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:55,702
The world craves your content.
You need to be thinking about this.
187
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:59,540
Uh, what I need is a place
to live and a real job.
188
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,917
Oh! That's what it could be called.
"Animal Jobs."
189
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,211
- [growling, barking]
- [Oliver] Oh my...
190
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:07,339
- Ah!
- Uh, down! Down! Down, Gravey!
191
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:09,967
- I-I've never seen her like this.
- In the two hours you've had her?
192
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,845
- [growling]
- I-I'm gonna take her for a walk.
193
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:15,222
- Mabel, think about that podcast.
- [barking]
194
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,057
- I'm pretty sure I won't.
- [whines]
195
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,725
- Come on, Gravey...
- [phone notification chimes]
196
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,602
Come on, girl. You're a good girl.
197
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,689
I got another email from that Bev Melon.
198
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,900
- I did, too.
- [Mabel] Do you think it's real?
199
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,610
- Is what real?
- It looks kinda real.
200
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,238
Yeah, but, like, the Paramount Studios?
201
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,781
What are you talking about?
202
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,992
They wanna make a movie of our podcast.
203
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,161
They? Paramount? The pictures?
204
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:41,081
They wanna fly us all out to LA
for some meeting next week.
205
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,418
Hoe-dee-doe, I am back, baby!
206
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,879
Fuck the theater! [sighs]
207
00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:49,339
- I-I don't think I can go.
- What?
208
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,383
Well, I'm worried about Sazz.
209
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:54,219
Last night at the party,
she had something "sensitive"
210
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,429
to discuss with me.
211
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:59,516
And I keep hearing this whistling noise.
212
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:02,269
Sazz is a whistler.
Did I ever tell you that?
213
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,439
Sazz is a whistler?
Wow, Charles.
214
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:08,150
How did you manage
to keep that riveting morsel to yourself?
215
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,234
[text whooshes]
216
00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:10,736
Hey.
217
00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:13,113
It's from Sazz.
218
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,657
"Sorry, I had to jet off last minute
219
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:18,535
"to cover Bakula on set...
220
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,620
in LA."
221
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,246
Well, isn't that rich?
222
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:24,875
The best coast is calling
all of us, Charles, clearly.
223
00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:27,711
Pack your bags, bitches!
224
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,922
- We're going to Hollywood.
- [Mabel] Oh no...
225
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:31,965
[♪ "Times Square 1989"
by Hip Hop Hoodíos playing]
226
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,050
[kids cheering]
227
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:34,718
♪ 1989, that was the year ♪
228
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,721
♪ Eight for the kick, nine for the snare,
parachute pants ♪
229
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:40,474
- [car horn blaring]
- [thick NY accent] Yo, yo, yo, taxi!
230
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:44,102
Hey! Come on!
What's a guy gotta do, huh?
231
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,896
- Hot dogs!
- [♪ rapping continues]
232
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,606
Knishes!
233
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,108
Polish sausage!
234
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,569
Anthony!
You get your butt back in here, you!
235
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,738
Your grandpa needs your help
with the microwave!
236
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:57,074
Ma, come on! I'm late already!
237
00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,326
[Ma] The Knicks can wait!
Your grandpa needs his Anthony!
238
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,828
- [♪ hip-hop music continues]
- [loud overlapping chatter]
239
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,163
- [distant siren wails]
- [sighs]
240
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,249
[thick NY accent]
How can you not love New York?
241
00:11:05,249 --> 00:11:08,460
[thick NY accent] I don't wanna know
nobody who don't love New York City.
242
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:09,962
- [car horns blaring]
- [people shouting]
243
00:11:09,962 --> 00:11:11,672
[director]
Look up.
244
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:13,215
Look up!
245
00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:15,676
- Cut!
- [crew members yell]
246
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,887
You need to look up at the sky
and pretend you see Godzilla.
247
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,598
- [Mabel] Boy, they really nailed New York.
- [Charles] Godzilla?
248
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:23,350
That lizard gets a lot of work.
249
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,519
Okay, let's not get
our hopes up about this meeting.
250
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:28,188
Bev Melon probably got handed
this project five minutes ago.
251
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,858
Some higher-up at the studio
heard our podcast,
252
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,860
- and now they wanna hear a pitch.
- Exactly.
253
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,820
You better let us
take the lead on this, Mabel,
254
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:38,365
'cause we have experience of,
you know, royalties and back-ends.
255
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:42,411
I once had a hot minute
around Julie Andrews' backend. [chuckles]
256
00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,414
Julie Andrews is a goddess.
257
00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:47,916
[Oliver]
I went too far.
258
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:50,961
[♪ song fades out]
259
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,088
[phones ringing, office chatter]
260
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:55,382
[applause, cheering]
261
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,009
And here they are!
262
00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:59,595
Putting bodies to the voices
in our AirPods.
263
00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:02,139
I'm Bev Melon,
your persistent emailing maven.
264
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,141
- So nice to meet all of you!
- Hello.
265
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,101
Hi, I'm Monica Bernstein-D'Angelo,
VP of Marketing.
266
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,729
Todd Shettinger, EVP International.
267
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,772
- I love you guys.
- [laughter]
268
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,608
Hey, Sal Snyder-Bernsdorf,
269
00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:15,110
Prez of Social. Obsessed.
270
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:17,154
[laughter]
271
00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:19,198
Okay, podcasters.
272
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:21,533
Let's... talk... movies!
273
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:24,411
[♪ gentle plucky music playing]
274
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,583
This feels much further along
than we thought.
275
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,669
When I see a hot piece of adaptable IP
276
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:36,048
getting circled by a bunch
of horny rival studios,
277
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:37,633
I go in hard,
278
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:40,219
and I always finish first. Plus,
279
00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:44,223
we just landed the most
brilliant directing team.
280
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,809
Hot off their big Grand Prix win at Cannes
281
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,228
and their heart-wrenching,
282
00:12:49,228 --> 00:12:51,897
deeply, deeply viral Walmart ad campaign,
283
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:55,150
I present to you the Brothers!
284
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,276
[quiet clapping]
285
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,404
I'm s-- I'm sorry. You're brothers?
286
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,490
We're sisters.
287
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,867
Oh, I-I thought I heard brothers.
288
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,869
- We're the Brothers sisters.
- [Bev Melon] Mm-hmm.
289
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,496
Trina and Tawny Brothers.
290
00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:10,332
And they're identical twins,
which is so neat.
291
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,084
And when these gals read
292
00:13:12,084 --> 00:13:14,628
the fabulous script
that Marshall Peepope wrote...
293
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,755
I-I was just trying to get
you all down in the right way.
294
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,549
You know, just at least
how I pictured you.
295
00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:21,468
Oh, you are all
so distinctive on the page.
296
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,762
Oliver, who we all want to strangle
297
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:26,723
and cuddle at the same time.
298
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:30,102
And Charles, everyone's un-fun uncle
299
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:33,605
with his grouchy, little turtle face.
300
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:37,401
And Mabel,
with your traumatized, homeless,
301
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:40,696
jobless, mumbling millennial charm
302
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:42,948
stuck between these two old dudes.
303
00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:44,616
[Bev laughs]
304
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:45,909
It's so funny.
305
00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:48,370
I don't need an algorithm to tell me
that this is box office gold.
306
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,330
But our algorithm confirms
307
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,749
that it will be as long as it
comes out before Christmas.
308
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,668
So, you're really making this film?
309
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,503
Oh yes. We have a soft greenlight,
310
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,380
and we're looking to harden that up today.
311
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:01,341
The cast that has come
together for this film--
312
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,676
You have a cast already?
313
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,387
Oh, yes, ma'am.
We have a fabulous cast,
314
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:08,390
and we'll get to that later tonight
at a big party for you all.
315
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,392
But, first, I need you
316
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:13,520
to officially hop aboard with us.
Guys?
317
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:15,939
We wanna start shooting in three weeks,
318
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:18,817
and your life rights are
the last thing we need, so...
319
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,277
Gonna stop you right there, Bev.
320
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:24,156
I think we understand the situation.
Uh, without us
321
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:27,618
and our life rights, there's no film.
322
00:14:27,618 --> 00:14:29,578
So, what we need
323
00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:32,789
is a number that is fair--
324
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,082
Oh, we don't need to do numbers.
325
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,043
You can just have your
lawyers call business affairs.
326
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,759
[chair creaks]
327
00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:45,219
[table surface squeaking]
328
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,597
[squeaking]
329
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:55,729
[blows sharply]
330
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,941
- [Charles clumsily sits]
- [Oliver] Okay, there we go.
331
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,400
[softly] There we go,
okay, there we go.
332
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,735
[unfolds paper]
333
00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:05,197
It's just a four.
334
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,825
- Four.
- [Charles] Four.
335
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,327
That's right. Four.
336
00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:11,703
Four. Four...
337
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:14,998
Four what? Four...
338
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,836
- thousand. Four...
- [Oliver sighs awkwardly]
339
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:21,296
Four hundred. Four hundred...
340
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,631
Four thousand...
341
00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:24,758
hundred.
342
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,427
Forty-four hundred...
343
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,929
million?
344
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,098
Four million hundred?
345
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:32,432
Or...
346
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,101
Or five.
347
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,519
- Five--
- Guys, whatever the number,
348
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:36,937
we're gonna make it work.
349
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,189
Uh, I'm sorry, can you excuse me?
350
00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:40,732
Wh-What's the matter, Mabel?
351
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:44,194
I think, um, I just need a moment.
352
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:45,988
[♪ gentle music playing]
353
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,698
- [retreating footsteps]
- [door opens]
354
00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:49,741
- [Oliver clears throat]
- [door shuts]
355
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,494
- She may want a six.
- Uh-huh.
356
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,497
- [Charles] Mabel?
- [studio lot chatter]
357
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:58,584
[♪ gentle music playing]
358
00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:01,086
[water gently splashing]
359
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,671
[Oliver]
Howdy!
360
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:04,756
There she is.
361
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,633
[Charles]
Hey, Mabel!
362
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:10,012
- [sighs] Hey.
- Are you okay?
363
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:13,098
Oh, uh, just a little overwhelmed.
364
00:16:15,184 --> 00:16:17,895
This lot can do that, you know?
365
00:16:17,895 --> 00:16:20,355
The magic. The genius.
366
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:23,817
I remember having a meeting right
over there with the great Robert Evans.
367
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,571
He was filled with energy and ideas.
368
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,656
And also cocaine,
369
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,742
much of which was in
a condom he'd swallowed
370
00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:33,660
to get past airport security.
371
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,038
Uh, no, it's not that.
372
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:38,957
Just, did you hear how
they described me in there?
373
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:42,252
Like, homeless, jobless, mumbling...
374
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,838
- Speak up, dear, I can't hear you.
- I missed that last part.
375
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,799
I'm not saying
it's completely inaccurate.
376
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:51,345
But, if they make
a big movie about that Mabel,
377
00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:52,971
what if...
378
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:55,349
I don't wanna
be that person forever?
379
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:56,683
[Charles]
I know what you mean.
380
00:16:56,683 --> 00:17:00,521
Bev Melon called me an un-fun turtle.
381
00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:02,397
- Well--
- Un-fun. I mean,
382
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:04,566
I'm fun! Right?
383
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,693
Yeah.
384
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,278
Sure...
385
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:11,740
I mean, y-you're not fun for everyone,
386
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:14,618
- but you-- but you are to us.
- No, no, no.
387
00:17:14,618 --> 00:17:16,245
Uh-huh! Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
388
00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:19,081
Look, I'm... I'm not saying no.
389
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:23,126
I just, I need to think
about this big movie deal.
390
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,211
Is that okay?
391
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:26,421
Whatever you decide,
we'll stand behind you. Right, Oliver?
392
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,549
Uh-huh...
393
00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:32,803
The studio is throwing
us a huge party tonight.
394
00:17:32,803 --> 00:17:35,222
I texted Loretta. She's coming.
395
00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:38,475
[emphatically] I need this.
396
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,060
But, no pressure.
397
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,520
Oliver, you're crushing me.
398
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,397
- No pressure.
- Okay.
399
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:45,023
[Charles]
I invited Sazz to the party,
400
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,568
but she's back to not responding,
and she usually gets right back to me.
401
00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:49,194
Oh Jesus, Charles,
402
00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,488
- enough with the boo-hoo-hoo, Mr. Un-fun.
- [car honking]
403
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:52,948
[Charles]
Oh, look!
404
00:17:52,948 --> 00:17:54,616
Hey, look, here comes fun!
405
00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:57,911
This is Sidney. He was my driver
during the old Brazzos days.
406
00:17:57,911 --> 00:18:00,330
He's gonna give us
a big tour of Hollywood.
407
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,457
- [Sidney coughing]
- [honks]
408
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,042
Hey, Sidney!
409
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,545
- [Sidney hacking]
- Is Sidney alive?
410
00:18:06,545 --> 00:18:08,046
[hacking]
411
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,507
Hey, if you're worried about Sazz,
412
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:13,010
why don't we just skip the tour
and stop by her place?
413
00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:15,804
Well, actually, Sazz's apartment complex
414
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:17,723
belongs on a Hollywood tour.
415
00:18:17,723 --> 00:18:19,016
- Come on!
- And, frankly,
416
00:18:19,016 --> 00:18:21,268
the less stops for Sidney, the better.
417
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,478
You know, he looks like
he's driving his own hearse.
418
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,898
Although, I do have one place
I wanna go first.
419
00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:27,566
Well, let's get in this gas guzzler.
420
00:18:27,566 --> 00:18:30,652
[♪ "Goin' To California"
by Irene Kral playing]
421
00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:38,202
♪ Well, I'm goin' to California ♪
422
00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:42,539
♪ To stay in New York,
got to be right out your mind ♪
423
00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:46,835
♪ Yes, I'm headin' for California ♪
424
00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:50,756
♪ I'm leavin' 9-to-5
and all that jive behind ♪
425
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,299
Ha! Come on!
426
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:56,345
- ♪ Now, when I get to California ♪
- [laughing]
427
00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:57,846
♪ I'll see those cable cars ♪
428
00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:00,098
- ♪ And movie stars and such ♪
- Brazzos! Yeah!
429
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:01,183
They don't recognize you.
430
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:02,935
- Don't think they know you.
- No, they don't know you.
431
00:19:02,935 --> 00:19:05,187
♪ Livin' in California ♪
432
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:07,856
♪ Because the sunny sky's
a bigger prize ♪
433
00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:10,484
♪ Than gold ♪
434
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:15,864
[Charles] The Sunset Swan.
This place is legend.
435
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,450
♪ ...so nice in California ♪
436
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:21,203
I lived here during
season one of Brazzos,
437
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:23,288
before Sazz took over my lease.
438
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:27,960
♪
439
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,420
[♪ "Goin To California" slowly fades out]
440
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:33,882
This is the kind of place
that can only exist in Hollywood.
441
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,968
Where celebrities take short-term leases
442
00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:38,512
next door to eccentrics
who've lived here for decades.
443
00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:42,099
Everyone from Scarlett Johansson
to the Black Dahlia.
444
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,519
If these walls could talk, wow.
445
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:47,688
[fountain trickling]
446
00:19:47,688 --> 00:19:50,065
Uh, when can I move in?
447
00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:51,984
- [birds chirping]
- [dogs barking]
448
00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:58,448
This is it, Sazz's apartment.
449
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:02,536
- [repeatedly ringing doorbell]
- Sazz! Sazz!
450
00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:10,169
[air whistling]
451
00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:12,963
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
452
00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:14,882
[shuts mail slot]
453
00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:23,098
You know, maybe she's just away,
shooting on location with Bakula.
454
00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:25,267
That's right.
455
00:20:26,727 --> 00:20:28,395
No more worrying.
456
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,314
No more un-fun turtle.
457
00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:33,400
[drops mail]
458
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,485
- [wind blowing]
- Let's party.
459
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:38,572
[♪ "Spaghetti Western"
by STAXX OMNI playing]
460
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:46,413
[party chatter]
461
00:20:58,008 --> 00:21:01,011
[applause, cheering]
462
00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,973
[clears throat]
Wow, they're laying it on thick.
463
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,017
Really trying to pressure
you to take that deal.
464
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:08,101
[cheering continues]
465
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,895
- [speaker 1] Dude, they're here!
- [speaker 2] Where?
466
00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:11,730
Holy shit.
467
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,273
[excited overlapping chatter]
468
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,692
- [paparazzi shouting stars names]
- [camera shutters snapping]
469
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:17,361
- [speaker 1] Eugene! Zach!
- [Eva laughs]
470
00:21:17,361 --> 00:21:18,570
- [speaker 1] Zach!
- [speaker 2] Eva, over here!
471
00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:20,697
- [paparazzi shouting requests]
- [cheering continues]
472
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,533
Pew! [laughs]
473
00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:24,826
Charles, Oliver, and Mabel,
474
00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:26,662
this is, well,
475
00:21:26,662 --> 00:21:28,830
Charles, Oliver, and Mabel!
476
00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:30,332
I'm Eugene Levy?
477
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:32,584
I'm Eva Longoria.
478
00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:33,961
Yeah.
479
00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:35,462
I'm...
480
00:21:36,922 --> 00:21:38,257
I wanna say Tim.
481
00:21:38,257 --> 00:21:40,843
- I'm Jack Black.
- Ah, that's it. Yeah.
482
00:21:42,052 --> 00:21:43,136
I'm not Jack Black.
483
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,721
- Oliver, this is Zach Galifi--
- Oh, yes!
484
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,849
Zach Galifragilistic, of course.
485
00:21:46,849 --> 00:21:48,559
Ha! I see what you're doing.
486
00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:51,103
People do this. You're trying
to Between Two Ferns me.
487
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:53,105
Uh, between the whats?
488
00:21:53,105 --> 00:21:56,066
Okay, look. I might not be
a Desperate Housewife
489
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:58,235
or Mr. Schitt's over here,
490
00:21:58,235 --> 00:22:01,405
but I happen to have starred in
the second-highest-grossing comedy
491
00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:03,699
of all freaking time!
492
00:22:03,699 --> 00:22:04,783
[gasps]
493
00:22:05,951 --> 00:22:09,538
Are you the little boy from Home Alone?
What did they do to you!?
494
00:22:09,538 --> 00:22:10,664
I'm out. I'm done.
495
00:22:10,664 --> 00:22:12,875
- That is...
- What?
496
00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:16,211
Listen, I will greenlight
your dream project.
497
00:22:16,211 --> 00:22:18,338
- Erin Brockovich, but it's me.
- No.
498
00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:20,257
- Legally Blonde, but it's me.
- No.
499
00:22:20,257 --> 00:22:22,301
- Spider-Man, but it's me.
- Alright, fine.
500
00:22:22,301 --> 00:22:24,052
- The Erin Brockovich one.
- And I'm back.
501
00:22:24,052 --> 00:22:27,139
So, what kind of big names
were you hoping for?
502
00:22:28,265 --> 00:22:30,851
Okay, I'll let you all get
acquainted with one another.
503
00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:34,521
And, Mabel, I am here to talk to you
whenever you're ready.
504
00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:37,482
But first, tell me about
all these piercings! Oh, my gosh!
505
00:22:37,482 --> 00:22:38,567
I got a thousand questions
506
00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:39,651
- I would love to ask you.
- Sure.
507
00:22:39,651 --> 00:22:42,738
- [♪ upbeat piano music playing]
- [party chatter]
508
00:22:44,907 --> 00:22:46,950
This is so flattering! I mean,
509
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:49,161
the fact that anybody would look at me
510
00:22:49,161 --> 00:22:51,914
- and think of Eva Longoria.
- [giggles]
511
00:22:51,914 --> 00:22:53,749
Can I just ask you a question though?
512
00:22:53,749 --> 00:22:55,459
Oh, why they aged you up?
513
00:22:55,459 --> 00:22:58,504
Yeah, is that 'cause I-I'm an old soul?
514
00:22:58,504 --> 00:23:00,631
No. No, no.
They did a focus group
515
00:23:00,631 --> 00:23:03,133
on the age gap
between you and the guys,
516
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:06,220
and the word that kept
coming up was "creepy."
517
00:23:07,721 --> 00:23:09,932
Plus, we're basically the same age.
I mean, look at us.
518
00:23:09,932 --> 00:23:11,642
[both laugh]
519
00:23:11,642 --> 00:23:13,560
[Oliver] And he was
such an unpredictable spirit.
520
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:17,356
And you know who found him dead
was Candy Bergen.
521
00:23:17,356 --> 00:23:20,442
- Who's a chum, you know.
- Can I run something by you?
522
00:23:21,652 --> 00:23:24,655
I kind of have a risky take
on your character.
523
00:23:25,656 --> 00:23:27,950
I was thinking about
maybe playing him
524
00:23:27,950 --> 00:23:30,619
talented, successful,
525
00:23:30,619 --> 00:23:33,539
completely aware
that it's the year 2024.
526
00:23:33,539 --> 00:23:34,873
Oh. [chuckles]
527
00:23:35,541 --> 00:23:37,125
[Eugene Levy]
Well, I'm so excited.
528
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:39,002
This is gonna be an amazing project,
529
00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:41,922
and I still can't believe I'm playing you.
530
00:23:41,922 --> 00:23:44,925
- Yeah.
- 'Cause Brazzos was huge in Canada.
531
00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:48,804
I actually dubbed your voice
for the French version in Quebec.
532
00:23:49,304 --> 00:23:52,307
[speaking French]
533
00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:57,646
You know-- You know what? I'm sorry.
I'm a little bit distracted.
534
00:23:57,646 --> 00:24:00,274
I haven't heard from a good friend
in a few days,
535
00:24:00,274 --> 00:24:01,650
and I'm a little worried.
536
00:24:01,650 --> 00:24:04,653
I'm sorry, I'm just
a little distracted right now.
537
00:24:04,653 --> 00:24:07,739
I haven't heard from a good friend
of mine in a few days,
538
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:10,492
just a little worried. [laughs] Nobody...
539
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:12,160
does "a little worried" like you.
540
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,830
Oh, no. That's not me.
541
00:24:14,830 --> 00:24:17,833
I'm usually way more fun!
I'm more like,
542
00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:20,711
"Hey! I haven't heard
from my good friend for a few days,
543
00:24:20,711 --> 00:24:24,756
but you know what?
Everything's gonna be totally fine! Woo!"
544
00:24:24,756 --> 00:24:26,717
[laughs]
545
00:24:26,717 --> 00:24:28,010
Well, at our age,
546
00:24:28,010 --> 00:24:30,262
no one's ever really totally fine, are we?
547
00:24:30,262 --> 00:24:32,055
You know what everyone's got now?
548
00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:33,265
Sepsis.
549
00:24:33,265 --> 00:24:35,893
Oh, excuse-- Oh, my God,
there's my old friend
550
00:24:35,893 --> 00:24:37,477
Bill [gibberish].
551
00:24:38,604 --> 00:24:42,357
- [♪ upbeat piano music continues]
- [indistinct chatter, laughter]
552
00:24:43,442 --> 00:24:46,904
[Oliver] My brain cannot get around
what you are delaying about this for.
553
00:24:46,904 --> 00:24:49,489
Why is this not the greatest
opportunity in the world?
554
00:24:49,489 --> 00:24:51,074
[Loretta Durkin]
Woo-hoo!
555
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:53,911
Hi!
556
00:24:54,578 --> 00:24:56,455
- [Oliver] Oh, my God.
- Hi...
557
00:24:56,455 --> 00:24:57,748
[Mabel] Hi.
558
00:24:57,748 --> 00:24:59,499
- [Oliver] Look at you!
- Hi. Oh.
559
00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:02,878
You're a vision! Mwah!
Oh, my God, I missed you. Look at you!
560
00:25:02,878 --> 00:25:04,880
[overlapping greetings]
561
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,840
What a long cold winter
it's been without you.
562
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,592
- [laughs]
- Oliver, it's been, like, five days.
563
00:25:08,592 --> 00:25:10,844
And, you know, I texted you
about five times in the last week.
564
00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:12,679
Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry.
I texted you twice,
565
00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:14,056
- but I'm so sorry...
- Well, I didn't get--
566
00:25:14,056 --> 00:25:15,516
...because
I've been just crazed, you know?
567
00:25:15,516 --> 00:25:17,226
Okay, well, just [stammering]
tell me everything.
568
00:25:17,226 --> 00:25:19,311
- Yeah.
- How's work? How's life? How's...
569
00:25:19,311 --> 00:25:21,522
- the constant sunshine?
- [laughs]
570
00:25:21,522 --> 00:25:23,815
- Well, work is a dream, of course.
- Yeah.
571
00:25:23,815 --> 00:25:25,943
Because I love everybody
at Gnorfbun so much.
572
00:25:25,943 --> 00:25:28,028
- I'm sorry? What's Gnorfbun?
- No--
573
00:25:28,028 --> 00:25:32,032
That's what we call Grey's New Orleans
Family Burn Unit for short.
574
00:25:32,032 --> 00:25:33,700
- [Oliver] Oh, yeah.
- Except we have to explain it
575
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:35,118
every time we say it.
576
00:25:35,118 --> 00:25:38,413
But [sighs],
they've all been so welcoming to me.
577
00:25:38,413 --> 00:25:40,874
[chuckles] But tonight isn't about me!
578
00:25:40,874 --> 00:25:43,377
- [laughs]
- Oh, my God, a film?
579
00:25:43,377 --> 00:25:45,462
- Congratulations.
- Yeah.
580
00:25:45,462 --> 00:25:48,423
Who could've imagined, a week ago,
581
00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:50,676
we would all be Hollywood-bound?
582
00:25:50,676 --> 00:25:53,554
- [laughs] Yeah. Isn't that wild, Mabel?
- [barely audible] Yeah.
583
00:25:54,555 --> 00:25:55,931
You okay? Is everything--
584
00:25:55,931 --> 00:25:57,683
- I'm gonna go to the bar.
- [Loretta] Oh.
585
00:25:57,683 --> 00:26:00,561
You know, if you have
trouble deciding what you want,
586
00:26:00,561 --> 00:26:02,938
uh, just remember my life depends on it.
587
00:26:02,938 --> 00:26:04,815
[♪ piano continues]
588
00:26:07,818 --> 00:26:09,278
Um, I'll have a--
589
00:26:09,278 --> 00:26:11,029
[Eva Longoria]
We'll have two tequilas on ice,
590
00:26:11,029 --> 00:26:14,116
hold the lime, and put some of
those cute, tiny umbrellas in.
591
00:26:17,035 --> 00:26:19,037
So, studio says you're holding out.
592
00:26:19,663 --> 00:26:22,916
Oh... No, I just needed some time
593
00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:26,003
to think about the whole
life rights thing. I'm sorry.
594
00:26:26,003 --> 00:26:27,671
Don't apologize.
595
00:26:27,671 --> 00:26:30,132
The script makes you
sound like a sad sack,
596
00:26:30,132 --> 00:26:32,134
and here you are, squeezing the studio.
597
00:26:32,134 --> 00:26:34,303
I'm just trying to learn your character.
598
00:26:34,303 --> 00:26:35,429
[Mabel laughs quietly]
599
00:26:35,429 --> 00:26:37,181
Believe me, so am I.
600
00:26:37,181 --> 00:26:38,932
Anyway, I don't even know what I've done
601
00:26:38,932 --> 00:26:41,476
to become a character in a movie.
602
00:26:42,144 --> 00:26:44,855
Look, honey, when I was your age,
603
00:26:44,855 --> 00:26:46,732
a couple years ago,
604
00:26:46,732 --> 00:26:49,151
I found myself at a crossroads.
605
00:26:49,151 --> 00:26:50,903
You know, I was making great money acting,
606
00:26:50,903 --> 00:26:52,362
but I knew I wanted to do more.
607
00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:54,823
I wanted to produce, I wanted to direct,
608
00:26:55,824 --> 00:26:58,327
I wanted to sell skin cream,
and ice cream,
609
00:26:58,327 --> 00:27:01,413
and underwear, and sportswear,
610
00:27:01,413 --> 00:27:05,083
beer, computers, tequila,
611
00:27:05,459 --> 00:27:06,752
and gin.
612
00:27:07,169 --> 00:27:08,212
And I did.
613
00:27:08,545 --> 00:27:11,757
I'm not telling you to sell
your life rights. But, if you do,
614
00:27:13,008 --> 00:27:14,927
ask them for a shit-ton of money
615
00:27:14,927 --> 00:27:17,554
and then build something with it.
616
00:27:18,847 --> 00:27:20,516
Just not tequila 'cause that's mine.
617
00:27:25,604 --> 00:27:27,481
So sorry about Death Rattle.
618
00:27:27,481 --> 00:27:29,233
Oh, Broadway.
619
00:27:29,233 --> 00:27:30,943
Stupid racket.
620
00:27:30,943 --> 00:27:32,694
Now, Hollywood...
621
00:27:32,694 --> 00:27:35,072
Hollywood has never let me down.
622
00:27:35,072 --> 00:27:37,282
- [giggles]
- Except for the time when they removed
623
00:27:37,282 --> 00:27:38,951
my star from the Walk of Fame
624
00:27:38,951 --> 00:27:41,203
because they said I had
no right to just put it there, you know.
625
00:27:41,203 --> 00:27:43,747
[both laugh]
626
00:27:43,747 --> 00:27:46,333
- Yeah. [laughs]
- Bastards, yeah.
627
00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:49,920
- [♪ upbeat piano music playing]
- [air whistling]
628
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,675
[bottle whistling]
629
00:27:54,675 --> 00:27:56,426
- [party chatter]
- [cameras clicking]
630
00:27:58,762 --> 00:27:59,805
[Charles]
Sazz?
631
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,728
[Loretta]
Since the podcast is on hiatus,
632
00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:08,021
and the musical is...
633
00:28:08,021 --> 00:28:09,565
well, dead,
634
00:28:10,566 --> 00:28:14,194
would you consider maybe coming...
out here?
635
00:28:17,656 --> 00:28:19,032
- Um--
- [Oliver] Uh, I mean...
636
00:28:19,032 --> 00:28:21,368
- [stammering] No, I mean--
- [Loretta] But, honestly, with my hours,
637
00:28:21,368 --> 00:28:24,037
we'd probably hardly ever
see each other, so...
638
00:28:24,037 --> 00:28:27,958
No, no, no, I would. I would.
I-I could definitely consider that. I-I--
639
00:28:29,293 --> 00:28:30,294
I ju--
640
00:28:31,128 --> 00:28:32,796
I just feel like I'm...
641
00:28:34,423 --> 00:28:36,633
watching you...
642
00:28:36,633 --> 00:28:39,219
take off and fly away, and I just...
643
00:28:41,805 --> 00:28:43,473
I hope I can keep up with you.
644
00:28:44,975 --> 00:28:47,686
Oh. I'm so in love with you.
645
00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:50,772
- [♪ romantic music playing]
- Oliver...
646
00:28:53,567 --> 00:28:55,485
Loretta, will you...
647
00:28:57,154 --> 00:28:58,947
Will what? Would I what?
648
00:28:58,947 --> 00:29:02,034
[stammering]
Just give me time to think about...
649
00:29:03,202 --> 00:29:04,703
LA? Coming to LA?
I just--
650
00:29:04,703 --> 00:29:07,122
- Oh, sure.
- I-It's a huge decision.
651
00:29:07,122 --> 00:29:10,501
- Yeah, of course. Yeah.
- But, I-I'm-- I'm not against it.
652
00:29:10,501 --> 00:29:14,254
- You know, I'm just-- just-- I'm just--
- Well, I mean, we have loads of time.
653
00:29:14,254 --> 00:29:16,590
- Yeah, yeah. So, just...
- So...
654
00:29:18,467 --> 00:29:20,344
Yeah, we'll figure something out.
655
00:29:21,136 --> 00:29:22,846
And I love you, too.
656
00:29:23,847 --> 00:29:25,516
♪
657
00:29:25,516 --> 00:29:28,268
[fire crackling]
658
00:29:31,605 --> 00:29:33,607
[footsteps approach]
659
00:29:38,570 --> 00:29:39,655
Do you have a minute?
660
00:29:40,197 --> 00:29:41,406
Ah!
661
00:29:41,406 --> 00:29:44,243
I have been waiting to
have a minute with you all day!
662
00:29:47,663 --> 00:29:49,164
Do you-- Do you mind if I observe?
663
00:29:49,164 --> 00:29:52,501
Research. I'm just--
I'm just a fly on the wall.
664
00:29:53,961 --> 00:29:57,881
Look, I know you thought you could wow me
665
00:29:57,881 --> 00:30:01,176
with your presentation and your stars,
666
00:30:01,176 --> 00:30:04,054
and I would just agree to whatever deal
you put in front of me,
667
00:30:04,054 --> 00:30:07,266
but that's not how I do things.
668
00:30:07,266 --> 00:30:09,017
Jesus, that's going in the script.
669
00:30:09,017 --> 00:30:10,894
Shit, sorry. Fly, wall.
670
00:30:12,396 --> 00:30:14,356
What's it gonna take, Mabel?
671
00:30:20,612 --> 00:30:22,030
Oh, fuck.
672
00:30:25,075 --> 00:30:26,577
Hey, Sazz!
673
00:30:27,995 --> 00:30:29,413
Oh.
674
00:30:29,746 --> 00:30:30,873
Bakula.
675
00:30:30,873 --> 00:30:32,958
Hey, Charles.
676
00:30:32,958 --> 00:30:34,960
- [elevator whirring]
- Congratulations.
677
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,046
It was nice to see another white-haired
white guy beat the odds.
678
00:30:38,046 --> 00:30:39,131
[elevator dings]
679
00:30:39,131 --> 00:30:41,800
Well, thanks. I mean, kind of.
680
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,261
- Um, hey, how's Joy?
- [Scott Bakula] Great.
681
00:30:44,261 --> 00:30:47,389
She actually just sent me a photo,
682
00:30:47,389 --> 00:30:48,724
and--
683
00:30:48,724 --> 00:30:50,475
But I can't show it to you.
684
00:30:51,185 --> 00:30:52,186
[giggles]
685
00:30:52,186 --> 00:30:55,522
- Hey, uh, Scott, I'm glad you're here.
- [♪ soft music playing]
686
00:30:55,522 --> 00:30:57,024
Have you seen Sazz?
687
00:30:57,024 --> 00:30:58,775
I was gonna ask you the same thing.
688
00:30:58,775 --> 00:31:01,570
She was supposed to
double me on this pilot
689
00:31:01,570 --> 00:31:04,156
we shot last week,
but she never showed.
690
00:31:04,156 --> 00:31:06,742
- [♪ music turns ominous]
- That's not like her.
691
00:31:07,951 --> 00:31:08,952
[exhales heavily]
692
00:31:08,952 --> 00:31:12,414
[party chatter]
693
00:31:16,001 --> 00:31:17,920
No pressure!
694
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:19,505
[glasses clanking]
695
00:31:19,505 --> 00:31:21,089
Oh, thank God.
696
00:31:21,089 --> 00:31:22,257
[chuckles]
697
00:31:22,257 --> 00:31:23,926
I never doubted you for a second.
698
00:31:23,926 --> 00:31:25,636
Let's go find Charles.
699
00:31:25,636 --> 00:31:27,304
I have some news.
700
00:31:27,304 --> 00:31:29,097
[♪ ominous sting]
701
00:31:29,097 --> 00:31:31,266
[♪ dramatic music playing]
702
00:31:31,266 --> 00:31:32,851
Not the fun kind.
703
00:31:39,358 --> 00:31:42,361
[♪ dramatic music playing]
704
00:31:58,085 --> 00:32:00,295
- [unzips kit]
- [lock pick tools jingle]
705
00:32:06,051 --> 00:32:08,053
[click, door opens]
706
00:32:09,721 --> 00:32:10,722
[door shuts]
707
00:32:10,931 --> 00:32:12,307
[Charles]
Sazz?
708
00:32:14,184 --> 00:32:15,227
Sazz?
709
00:32:15,769 --> 00:32:16,812
Don't hit the--
710
00:32:16,812 --> 00:32:18,522
[electricity buzzing]
711
00:32:19,231 --> 00:32:20,941
[Mabel]
Hey, what are these?
712
00:32:20,941 --> 00:32:22,609
[Charles]
Sazz's pride and joy.
713
00:32:22,609 --> 00:32:25,696
It's a shrine to all the bones
she's broken on the job.
714
00:32:25,696 --> 00:32:27,364
[Mabel]
"My First Big Break."
715
00:32:27,364 --> 00:32:29,783
[Charles] She's had so many
joints replaced by metal.
716
00:32:29,783 --> 00:32:33,078
Apparently, the best ones
come from Bulgaria.
717
00:32:33,078 --> 00:32:34,955
- She only gets 'em from there.
- [Oliver] Bulgaria.
718
00:32:34,955 --> 00:32:38,917
I once spent a week in Bulgaria
with Twiggy and Tommy Tune.
719
00:32:38,917 --> 00:32:41,253
I've never felt both so fat and short.
720
00:32:41,253 --> 00:32:43,338
- [thud, glass shatters]
- Sazz!
721
00:32:44,298 --> 00:32:47,050
- You there?
- [♪ suspenseful music playing]
722
00:32:47,050 --> 00:32:50,679
[distant siren blaring]
723
00:32:54,349 --> 00:32:56,727
- [text notification dings]
- It's Howard.
724
00:32:56,727 --> 00:32:58,979
[texts whooshing]
725
00:32:59,730 --> 00:33:01,732
[distant sirens blaring]
726
00:33:02,441 --> 00:33:04,568
[keypad clacking]
727
00:33:07,487 --> 00:33:09,907
The hell? What's all this?
728
00:33:09,907 --> 00:33:11,700
[♪ suspenseful music continues]
729
00:33:17,039 --> 00:33:19,082
[Oliver]
"Looking at Charles."
730
00:33:19,082 --> 00:33:21,668
♪
731
00:33:21,668 --> 00:33:23,587
Where is she?
732
00:33:23,587 --> 00:33:27,049
[♪ "Angel in Flip-Flops" ringtone playing]
733
00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:28,717
Yeah?
734
00:33:28,717 --> 00:33:30,427
[Lester] [on phone]
Hey, Charles, it's Lester.
735
00:33:30,427 --> 00:33:33,680
I got your note here about
changing out your glass.
736
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,934
But, I-I couldn't get it done today.
First thing tomorrow.
737
00:33:36,934 --> 00:33:38,519
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
738
00:33:39,102 --> 00:33:40,354
- What note?
- [Lester] A note.
739
00:33:40,354 --> 00:33:42,356
I got it today at the desk,
740
00:33:42,356 --> 00:33:44,650
[over phone] saying you need
your kitchen window replaced.
741
00:33:44,650 --> 00:33:45,901
Maybe a bird hit it
742
00:33:45,901 --> 00:33:48,445
or something left a little hole.
743
00:33:48,445 --> 00:33:51,198
- [wind whistling]
- Hear that whistling?
744
00:33:51,198 --> 00:33:52,950
[whistling continues]
745
00:33:52,950 --> 00:33:56,286
Hold on. How small was that hole?
746
00:33:56,286 --> 00:33:58,038
Like a bullet hole?
747
00:33:58,038 --> 00:34:01,124
Nah, i-it can't be.
748
00:34:03,293 --> 00:34:04,294
Well...
749
00:34:04,294 --> 00:34:06,672
Lester, don't touch that window.
750
00:34:06,672 --> 00:34:07,756
[notification dings]
751
00:34:08,423 --> 00:34:09,424
[text whooshes]
752
00:34:11,009 --> 00:34:13,512
[♪ music building]
753
00:34:13,512 --> 00:34:17,015
- [barking]
- Ah! [whimpers]
754
00:34:18,016 --> 00:34:19,893
- Oh, my God, you guys.
- What?
755
00:34:19,893 --> 00:34:21,812
We need to get back to New York.
756
00:34:21,812 --> 00:34:23,856
♪
757
00:34:24,273 --> 00:34:28,235
A great movie moment
can live in your head forever.
758
00:34:28,235 --> 00:34:31,029
The opening of
Once Upon a Time in the West
759
00:34:31,029 --> 00:34:34,700
is seven minutes of nothing
but sounds and images.
760
00:34:35,492 --> 00:34:37,119
But once you see it,
761
00:34:37,119 --> 00:34:39,121
you never forget it.
762
00:34:39,121 --> 00:34:40,873
♪
763
00:34:47,546 --> 00:34:51,091
[wind blowing]
764
00:34:55,429 --> 00:34:56,430
[fly buzzing]
765
00:34:58,056 --> 00:35:00,934
[♪ dramatic music playing]
766
00:35:06,148 --> 00:35:07,816
[knocking at door]
767
00:35:07,816 --> 00:35:09,902
[keypad clacking]
768
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,863
[dog whimpers]
769
00:35:14,031 --> 00:35:16,533
[sniffing]
770
00:35:18,869 --> 00:35:21,246
[Gravey whimpers]
771
00:35:21,955 --> 00:35:24,458
[♪ dramatic music builds]
772
00:35:26,460 --> 00:35:28,962
[fly buzzing]
773
00:35:28,962 --> 00:35:33,217
♪
774
00:35:47,105 --> 00:35:49,483
[Gravey growling]
775
00:35:49,483 --> 00:35:52,444
[sniffs, whining]
776
00:35:52,444 --> 00:35:55,614
[Gravey barking]
777
00:35:55,614 --> 00:35:57,699
♪
778
00:36:03,705 --> 00:36:07,960
- [brakes squealing]
- [♪ dramatic music continues]
779
00:36:10,295 --> 00:36:11,505
[rumbling]
780
00:36:18,303 --> 00:36:21,306
[♪ music softens, fades out]
781
00:36:25,561 --> 00:36:28,480
- [♪ curious music playing]
- [Oliver clears throat]
782
00:36:29,106 --> 00:36:31,108
[incinerator door clicking]
783
00:36:34,194 --> 00:36:36,989
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
784
00:37:07,144 --> 00:37:08,520
[text chimes, phone buzzes]
785
00:37:09,771 --> 00:37:10,772
[mumbling]
786
00:37:13,442 --> 00:37:14,443
[opens phone]
787
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:33,170
[♪ persistent piano note plays]
788
00:37:35,380 --> 00:37:38,383
[♪ solemn version of theme music playing]
789
00:37:56,151 --> 00:37:58,153
♪
790
00:38:27,266 --> 00:38:28,350
[♪ music ends]
791
00:38:28,350 --> 00:38:31,436
[♪ fanfare playing]
59094
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