All language subtitles for L.A.Law.S02E18.Open.Heart.Perjury.1080p.HULU.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-BurCyg_track3_[eng]

You're an early
bird, Miss Melman.

- Morning, Roxanne.
- Morning, Benny.

- Morning, Mr. Brackman.
- Good morning, Benny.

Oh, I told your brother
he could wait in your office

and feed the fish.

So!

What are you
doing here, Erroll?

Good morning to you too.

Get out of my chair.

Tell me, Dougie, is this
some kind of situation

where my brother could
become my stepfather?

Not that it's any
of your business,

but I happen to care
deeply about your mother

and I believe she
cares deeply about me.

Does your wife know,
about all this deep caring

going on between you two?

You're a disgrace--

Weaseling your way in here,

looking to exploit
your own mother.

Not my mother, Dougie, you.

Get out!

I refuse to let you
turn this into something

shameful and tawdry.

Look at you, the
paragon of virtue.

Out, before I knock you down.

- You and what army?
- That's it.

Alright, I'm going, but let me
tell you this, Dougie.

If you think I'm never going
to forget the sight of you

and my mother rolling around

in the hay like a
couple of old seals--

And let me tell
you something else,

you break that
old lady's heart,

and I'll kill you!

You understand me?

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Moving along,
Lewiston versus Bates.

Defendant's got a motion
for summary judgment.

- They'll probable win.
- On what grounds?

- Merits.
- Great.

- Auten versus Auten.
- Nothing exciting.

Couple of pretrial motions today
and tomorrow.

So far, your basic divorce.

Crutcher versus Boland.

- We go to trial today.
- Wait a second.

I thought this
was Stuart's case.

Yeah, it is. But I had to bring
in a litigator, and Jonathan--

Hold it. Hold it.

Why on earth are we
even taking this to court?

Gee, I don't know, Douglas,
maybe it's because

we represent a 74-year-old widow

against
a sleazy business manager

who bilked her
for every cent she had.

But it makes no difference.

The sleazy business manager

has hidden all his assets

and there's nothing
to collect here.

The client wants a judgment
against him no matter what,

if she can't get money,
at least she'll have

a satisfaction
of having a moral victory.

But we took this on
one third contingency.

33% of our moral victory
doesn't pay our rent.

Alright, Douglas!

Well, can't we at least assign

a more experienced attorney?

Like who, Douglas?

Michael's tied up
with the Schonberg case.

Ann and Abby have
the Lewiston case.

And Victor's on deposition
safari in Wisconsin.

Speaking of which,

what's going on
with that, Victor?

Well, the acrobats
in Eau Claire,

they're a pretty
tight-lipped group.

But one of them Yolanda

did tell me that
one of the twins told her

that Byron Debeque
lived kind of a double life.

Publicly, he's the pillar of
the community but privately,

he made no secret
about his fondness

for fairly bizarre
sexual practices.

Like what?

Apparently one year,
he spent over $15,000

at the old English saddlery
and bridle store.

Is that an unusual amount?

Is it if you don't have a horse.

And I never did it with twins.

Yeah, well, it's not as great
as you'd think.

Anyway I've got to go to
Worcester, Massachusetts Now,.

Yolanda tells me that the twins
run a chicken farm up there

that they
inherited from Debeque.

Chickens? Yuck.

Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can
get them open up for me either.

I bet you are.

On that note,
we're adjourned.

Oh, don't forget,
the bar association's

cocktail party is tonight.

Leland, can I get
a ride with you?

My car is in the shop.

Well, I'm going directly
from the club.

I can run you over there.

Leland?

Stuart.

I'm very nervous about turning
Jonathan losing a trial.

What's to lose, Douglas?

You said yourself there's
no money to be gotten.

So even if you win, you lose.

I might as well let Jonathan get
the trial experience.

But at what cost?

I don't want the firm
responsible for smoke bombs

going off in the courthouse.

No, I think Jonathan
knows better than that.

Stuart, you better keep
a close eye on him.

- Were you looking for me?
- Mmm.

You know, that guy Jerry
I'm dating?

Well, he's got a friend,
David Myer.

Thought it would be fun
for the four of us to go out.

What's he like?

He's single, he's loaded.

He has a pulse.

Sounds perfect.

Wednesday night, doll.

Maison Richard.

Oh, nice.

But of course.

[horn honking]

What's the need for increased
support here, Mr. Phillips?

My client sacrificed her career
for her husband,

Judge. It's only right
that the husband--

You're seeking modification
of a temporary support order

with the same argument you used
six weeks ago.

I know, that, Judge. But since
then she's resumed her writing.

She desperately needs
an office to do the writing--

She's got a five-bedroom house.

She wants to get
her master's degree.

She needs to
hire full-time help

and she's very
much interested in

journeying to
Banaras this spring

as part of the research
for her current book.

Banaras is in the Ganges river?

That's right, your honor.

Mr. Phillips, I am not pleased.

There is nothing exigent
or even different about

your client's circumstances.

And I don't much like
attorneys happily prancing

into my court asking me
to change my mind.

I also suspect this motion
is either an opportunity

for you to pad your fees
or for your client

to victimize her husband.

Mr. Becker, your attempt
to reduce the support order

is equally out of line.

It too smacks of retaliation

and I'm hereby denying
both your motions.

What about conditional
garnishment, Judge?

This is very embarrassing to
my client and I would move--

Sorry, the garnishment stands.

Your client's credit reports
suggest a strong propensity

to ignore payments, counselor.

- He won't be ignoring these.
- But, your honor--

It's only embarrassing
if he fails to comply.

Otherwise his employer
will never know. Motion denied.

I'll hear any further
pretrial motions tomorrow.

Have a lovely day.

Mrs. Crutcher, what
was your reaction

to the idea of investing
in a gold mine?

I told him to forget it.

I didn't even want
to risk my money on stocks.

But at some point,
you changed your mind.

As he told me that
the geologists

and the other
experts were positive,

that this was
the investment opportunity

of a million lifetimes.

That he was even putting
his own mother into it.

Then he took my hand
and he said,

"Mrs. Crutcher,
I wouldn't let you do it

if I wasn't so sure about it."

Uh-huh? So you invested?

Yes, I put in 50,000.

I had another $50,000 in the
money market so I said,

"Well, why not
take a little chance?"

Then what happened?

Well, it was about
two months later,

- I didn't get my check.
- Your check?

Oh, Mr. Boland had me
on a budget.

You know, a plan I'd get a
monthly check for $2,000.

About $600 went to pay off
the mortgage

and the rest of it was
for my living expenses.

Well, anyway, it was about
the 10th of the month

and I still hadn't
got it, so I called him,

and that's when he told me.

Mrs. Crutcher,
what did he tell you?

He said there was no gold.

I couldn't believe it.

I'd lost $50,000.

Then he told me I'd
lost the other $50,000.

every penny I had.

What happened to the
$50,000 in the money market?

It went into the gold mine too.

They had to do some
extra drilling or something.

God, he just took it!

So he didn't tell
you he was dipping

into the money market account?

No, he didn't tell me a thing.

He just spent all my money.

So what happened?

I lost my home.

I was broke so I couldn't
make the payments.

The bank took it.

I lost my home.

My husband worked
so hard for it.

He-he was putting a
little money together

so we could live right.

He used to say,

"This is for the days
that we can enjoy."

Seven years ago, I
lost him, and Now,--

Now, I've lost everything
he worked for.

Where do you live now, ma'am?

I live in a studio apartment.

I-I have to take a bus
to the grocery store.

You did this to me!

- You did this.
Woman: Objection!

- Mrs. Crutcher.
- How could you?

- Objection.
- Mrs. Crutcher, please.

I'm sorry, but I have nothing.

I'm 74 years old,
and I have nothing to live on.

I'm afraid.

I don't know, what
I'm going to do. [sobbing]

No further questions.

Mrs. Crutcher, with respect
to the gold mine,

did Mr. Boland make
any statements of facts

that were not true?

Well, he told me it
was a sure thing and--

I'm not interested in
predictions or projections,

Mrs. Crutcher, just
statements of fact.

Did he make any
factual statements

that were not true?

Well, I don't know,.

And who made the final decision

as to whether to invest
in this gold mine or not?

I did.

And when you signed
a power of attorney

expressly authorizing Mr. Boland

to use the additional funds
in the money market account,

he told you that it might be
necessary

to use the additional $50,000

to protect your
investment, correct?

But he said it
was so unlikely--

Yes or no, ma'am?

Did he tell you
at the time that you signed

the power of attorney that he
might have

to use those additional funds

in the money market account?

Yes, but I never
thought that he was--

Thank you, Mrs. Crutcher.

Nothing further.

[instrumental music]

Would you like some champagne?

I don't think so, honey.

Come on. Cheer up.

It just breaks my heart

that you and Erroll
don't get along.

Sibling rivalry.

It happens.

You're his big brother.

He idolizes you.

Douglas.

He's trying to blackmail me.

If you just talk
to him, Douglas,

I know, you two could
be real good friends.

For Rusty, try.

Okay, for Rusty. [giggling]

I love you, honey.

You make my heart sing.

Hi, Douglas.

Hi.

Can I have a mineral
water, please?

Make that two.

- Your honor.
- Mr. Becker.

Nice to see you
off the battlefield.

Oh, it is a
battlefield, isn't it?

Unfortunately.

By the way we like to chat

without crossing the bounds
of impropriety?

So long as we don't
discuss your case.

- What case?
- Nice to see you, judge.

Arnie, long time no see.

How are you doing, Norman?

Well, I can't complain.

Can't complain.

So, you're going
to be adversaries here?

I beg your pardon?

I'm in the middle of a divorce.

I think Mr. Klein
incorrectly assumed

that you were representing me.

Ha-ha.

Well, nice to see you both.

Who is representing you?

Mitchell Gray
was, but I let him go.

- Hi, Arnie.
- Hi, Abby.

Hey, you're looking
for a divorce, not a war.

Exactly.

Some lawyers have
a limited repertoire.

All I want is an attorney
you can cross the T's

and dot the I's,

tell me where to sign my name.

Well, whatever you do
I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you, Mr. Becker.

Huggy, boy.

Hi, ma.

What's this?

Service with a smile.

You're Sheila's attorney?

She hired me to handle
the divorce.

You're going after
her private life

to get custody of the kids.

How he is gonna love
when I tell the judge

you're sleeping with my mom?

Erroll.

Just imagine there
we are in court.

You on one side and
Sheila on the other,

represented by one brother,
shacked up with the other.

Oh, that ought
to make LA Times.

You see?

Sheila and I are gonna enjoy

going through the
financial records

of the firm to
determine the value

of your partnership
interest, Dougie.

- Damn you!
- Boys, please, don't fight!

Go ahead, go ahead.

There's 100 lawyers
I got as witnesses.

Now, Douglas.

You're gonna pay.

You're gonna pay, Dougie!

Through the nose!

[engine revving]

[knocking]

Are you alright?

Other than my life's in
total shambles, I'm fine.

Douglas, this has got to stop.

Don't you think I want it to?

They're like a pack
of snarling dogs

closing in for the kill.

Now, you listen to me,
you've been embroiled

in this disgraceful melodrama
for months.

And you're no nearer a solution
now, then when you moved out.

Now, if not for your own sake,
then for the sake of firm

do whatever you have to
but get this over with!

[door shuts]

Gentlemen, are we ready
to proceed?

Your honor, counsel for the
defendant requests a sidebar.

Step up.

I would respectively move
that given

the nature
of these proceedings, your honor

disqualify herself
from the case.

What's the basis for
your motion, Mr. Becker?

The fact that your honor
is currently

in the midst of a divorce
herself.

Mr. Phillips?

Your honor, please be
assured this is the first

I'm hearing of
Mr. Becker's motion.

Furthermore I don't question
your honor's ability

to conduct a fair trial
regardless of the circumstances

in your personal life.

This motion is not meant
as a criticism, your honor.

Mr. Becker, whatever
the circumstances

of my personal life, they don't
pertain to this case.

They don't affect my ability
to discharge

my judicial responsibilities,

and they are none
of your business.

Your motion is denied.
Step back.

Is there anything further?

I'd move for a temporary
restraining order

barring the plaintiff from
interfering

with my client's
ongoing negotiations

for film rights
to his current novel.

She's protecting
her future interests,

your honor, nothing more.

The issue of Mrs. Auten's share
in future projects

is not gonna be determined on
pretrial motions, Mr. Becker.

Your honor, there's a certain
vindictiveness operating here

which you may not be
taking into account.

This isn't just a matter
of dotting your I's

and crossing your T's.

Your divorce may just be
paperwork, but this one isn't.

You're not going to let go of
this one, are you, Mr. Becker?

Excuse me?

You're gonna make
this case about me.

Your honor, I have
made my position clear.

I believe the interests of a
fair hearing are best served

by another judge
presiding over this case.

Not I, your honor.

You want another judge
so badly, go get one.

I hereby recuse myself in matter
of Auten VS Auten.

Now, that your motion has
been granted, Mr. Becker,

I'll see you in my chambers.

You're a despicable man,
Mr. Becker.

No, your honor, I'm just
a good lawyer.

I made a passing reference
to my divorce

in a casual conversation.

You turned that around
and used it to humiliate me.

If you recall it specifically
I made my recusal motion

as a sidebar to spare
you any embarrassment.

And I'm supposed
to be grateful?

If I have a question
about judge's impartiality,

I have an absolute obligation
to protect my client.

The fact that I'm getting
a divorce does not throw

my impartiality into question.

You talked about getting
a divorce last night

as though you're filing
for an extension

on your income taxes.

In my experience people
are only that bloodless

when there's a powder keg inside
of them

that they are desperately
trying to keep from exploding.

Thank you for the psychiatric
evaluation, Mr. Becker.

Your honor...

A judge getting divorced
isn't all that different

from anyone
else getting divorced.

The authority of your office
doesn't insulate you

from the pain of
a failed marriage.

It doesn't regulate
your husband's actions

or vest you with any
particular wisdom

in planning out your own.

You are going through
a very real event.

You may want to speed up
its passage

but you've got
to give it its due.

Thank you, counselor.
That will be all.

Just a minute.

You're quite an opportunist,
aren't you, Mr. Becker?

When it comes to my
client's interest, you bet.

Before I fired my attorney,
we had a settlement conference

scheduled for tomorrow morning
at 11 o' clock.

There have been four
cancellations already.

If you represent me, we won't
have to cancel another.

- Me?
- Well, what's the problem?

We're all done with this case.

Well, there's no
problem, judge.

I'm-I'm just a little surprised.

I-I don't know, what to say.

Say yes, Mr. Becker.

That way I can pay you
for your wisdom,

and you can stop
calling me judge.

[indistinct chatter]

Douglas Brackman
for Errol Farrell.

You in for Douglas Brackman?

(on intercom)
Go kill yourself!

Tell him it's important.

It's important!

Call the cops.

Go powder your nose.

Is it shiny?

Erroll, we have to talk.

If you're looking to fend off

our motions for
discovery, forget it.

This is not about the divorce.

I want to talk to
you personally.

It's a little late for that.

Not if you want to make your
mother happy.

Of course, I want
to make my mother happy.

So do I.

In a different way,
Dougie, a more biblical way.

Neither one of us
can make her happy

until we settle
our differences.

What do you want, my blessing?

In a way and the chance
to say I'm sorry

for my role in whatever troubles

we've had in the past.

I don't know, Dougie.

Sounds a little abstract to me.

Concretely then,
I can help you.

I'm prepared to put you on
our attorney referral list

at the firm.

Just off hand I can think
of a lot of business

we can throw your way.

Debt collections,
some PI cases

and if you were interested

in becoming more active
with the bar association,

I could introduce you
to the right people.

You'd do that?

And, if you ever needed money
or a shoulder to lean on,

I want you to know,
you could come to me.

I-I'm feeling the melting away
of a lot of grievance, Dougie.

I don't want hostilities
with you, Erroll.

I want us to be friends
as well as brothers.

That's all I ever wanted.

That's all I ever wanted, too.

Come here, you.

Excuse me, Erroll.

The 3 o' clock is waiting.

In a minute.

Hey, it's my big brother here.

And you believed in
the viability of this mine?

The geologist said
there was gold in the mine.

The assayer said there
was gold in the mine.

I was-I was just so sure
this thing was gonna make

all my clients rich.

Did you consider that
the seller might have laced

the mine with gold flakes
to fool you?

That's why I hired
the independent geologist

to check it out thoroughly.

And he told the ore
samples were legitimate.

I still can't believe he
could have been so wrong.

Did other clients lose money on
this proposition, Mr. Boland?

Collectively, it cost my
clients over a $1 Million.

It's the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.

It's-it has put people
out of their homes.

Mrs. Crutcher,
I'm so very sorry.

You have to believe me.

If I had the money,

I would give it to
you myself but--

- Objection.
- Sustained.

Just answer the
question, Mr. Boland.

Sorry.

How has this whole thing
affected you, Mr. Boland?

Well, I've lost a lot
of clients of course.

Though I think if
they had stayed,

I could've turned
things around,

but I can't really blame them.

Do you blame yourself, sir?

Yes, I do.

Even though I suppose
I really shouldn't.

I mean, the geologist,
the assayer,

the economist were unanimous

and I have to rely
on them the same way

my clients rely on me.

Things just didn't
work out here

and I'm deeply sorry for that,

especially for the good,
wonderful people like

Mrs. Crutcher,
people who trusted me.

Do you feel that you
abused that trust, sir?

I promise you I did not.

I may have lost all my money,

but I will take my integrity
to my grave.

I have never cheated anyone
in my entire life.

Thank you, sir. That's all.

As the hour is late,
we'll adjourn till tomorrow

and resume with the
plaintiff's cross-examination.

See you all then.

[instinct chatter]

Miss Maynard ?
Mr. Boland?

Could I see you
there for a minute?

Alright, look.

We're willing to shave
our demand to $50,000

provided that you agree
to an audit make a good--

Drop dead. The offer is $5,000.
That's it.

- Bobby, let me do it.
- $5000?

That woman's on food
stamps because of you.

I don't give a damn if she
has to hock her dentures.

If I cave in to her all those
others old goats are gonna

come after me with
their hands out.

Those old goats are broke
because of you.

The geologist supported
every word I said.

I got nothing to worry about.

- You paid off that geologist.
- Completely unprovable.

Even if you do prove it,
so what? I got no assets.

That's enough, Bobby,
don't tell them anything--

This is a settlement
conference,

everything here
is inadmissible.

I'll tell you this, Mr. Boland.

We'll get a judgment
against you and just sit.

And as soon as
you become liquid,

we'll pounce all over you.

Nice theory, hot shot.

The only problem is
your client's 74 years old

and one thing I've
learned about old people,

they don't wait so good, they
have a nasty habit of dying.

What the hell is that
supposed to mean?

It means if you win, I appeal.

You win again I appeal,
reappeal.

She keeps hanging on,
I keep waiting.

The day I become liquid is
the day after she croaks.

You make me sick.

Spoken like a lawyer
who knows he can't get me.

Want to do your
old lady some good?

Cut your losses, take
the five grand. Come on, Lisa.

Whatever it takes, Jonathan,

I want you to
nail that bastard.

[instrumental music]

If it's alright with everyone,
I'd like to start

by setting some parameters
for this discussion.

Since both parties
are self-sufficient,

we don't need to concern
ourselves with support.

You can cut through
the schmaltz, Mr. Becker,

we're all lawyers here.

We know, what's on the table.

Stan, we'll just go through

the schedule of assets
line by line,

like to see where we
stand on each, okay?

Cash on hand amounts
to roughly $150,000.

We exclude inheritances
and initial contributions,

we're left with somewhere
around $100,000,

which gets split
right down the middle.

Stock portfolio is worth
somewhere around $400,000.

We use current valuation,

we split it by
alternate selection

or a liquidation, if
that doesn't work.

Which it won't.

The house in Brentwood is

worth probably a million five,
million six.

We put it on the market,

split the proceeds
once it's sold.

- Absolutely no.
- Why?

It's not like
there are any kids.

Here we go,
Stanley Silverman's tale of woe

number 4,715 entitled

"My wife didn't give
me any children."

Do you think we'd be
sitting here today if you had?

I don't think that this is
what we are here for, people--

Oh, yes, it is, because of the
conclusion of his tale of woe,

I'm gonna give you chapter and
verse of what I've lived with.

What do you mean
what you lived with?

You're the luckiest damn

broad on the face of the earth.

All thanks to you, of course.

You're damned
right, thanks to me.

I taught you how to think.

You're a judge today because
I turned you into a lawyer.

And you've never forgiven me
for passing you by, have you?

Tell them how well you dealt
with my success, dear.

How you gave balm
to your wounded ego

by racking up sexual
conquests including,

but not limited to my
own former law clerk.

Maybe I was trying
to get your attention.

Why? So you could come mulling
to me with your sense of loss?

Guilt me into forgiving you?

Can I make a suggestion?

There are practical
matters that we should--

Your self-pity didn't break
me during our marriage.

It's not gonna break me now.

I hope you die, lady.

A fake no versus
staying married to you!

Don't say a word.

Child: Come on!

- Stop it!
- Hold it!

[phone ringing]

Geoffrey!

Come on, son.

Sheila, how's the pottery?

Rusty?

Gordon.

- Hi, dad.
- Boys.

- What happened to your hair?
- What happened to yours?

- Quit it, Geoffrey!
- You quit it!

- Boys. Boys!
- Cut it out!

Can we get on with this?

My lawyer said you had
a proposal.

I do. I want peace, Sheila.

I want this family to locate
a new sense of oneness.

Geoffrey, do you mind?

Geoffrey.

Geoffrey, your father
is talking.

I'm ready to initiate
a full accounting

and division of all assets
accrued during the marriage.

As for the children,

I'm prepared to
accept joint custody.

Big deal, the only reason you
tried to take them was

because you couldn't stand
the fact I was happy.

- Sheila.
- No, Gordon, she's right.

I felt jealous and angry.

But now, that I found love
myself, none of it matters.

We may not choose to be married
to each other,

but we'll always be bound
to each other

as parents to our children.

This is a beautiful
acknowledgment.

Sheila, what do you think
about what Douglas is saying?

I want my lawyer
to look it over.

Uh-huh.

And what do you feel
about what Sheila just said?

That's fine.

I don't know, about
both of you, but I'm,

I am--

I am terribly moved.

- Ow!
- Geoffrey, stop it!

He keeps sniffing me!

Alex, stop sniffing
your brother!

Hey, that's an expensive fish.

- Don't you dare touch!
- I'm just gonna pet it!

It's not meant to be petted!

Will you forget
the stupid guppy, Douglas!

Sheila, no more punishment.

No more hostility.

Let's declare our loyalty
to this family,

to the bond we can create
between and among our children,

our friends, all
our denominators.

I feel so blessed
just to be here.

Oh, Geoffrey.

- My fish!
- It's a flying fish.

- It just flew right out!
- Do you have anger, Geoffrey?

Stick it, Gordy.

Your shoe. Sheila, the fish!

Move your shoe.

You took a $75,000
consulting fee

on this gold mine
deal, didn't you?

I believe that's correct, yes.

You recommend a deal
to an elderly widow,

a deal that causes her
to lose her house

as well as every
last penny she has

and you take home $75,000?

Nobody regrets this
more than I do, sir.

Oh, that's right.
You're deeply sorry.

- Objection.
- Sustained.

Mr. Boland, I'll show you your
own promotional brochure,

which puffs your services.

And I ask you to read the
part I've underlined here.

"Above all, we
advocate diversification,

a varied portfolio
to minimize risks."

Diversification, yet you put
every cent of Mrs. Crutcher's

money on one single
gold mine venture.

I've already explained that.

It seemed like
such a sure thing.

Did you put any of your
own money on this sure thing?

- I never invest my own money.
- I bet.

Tell us this, Mr. Boland,
why didn't you notify my client

you were taking
the last $50,000

out of her money
market account?

It wasn't necessary.

I had power of attorney.
I was authorized.

This woman was anti-risk.

She was afraid to play
the stock market for God sake

and you plunked
down all her money,

her life savings on
a high risk gold mine

without even telling her?

Do you think
I'm happy about this?

Do you think I'm
proud of what--

Spare us the sympathy song,
Mr. Boland.

You're a blatant thief.

- Objection.
- Counselor.

You stole from this
person who trusted you.

- I did not.
- Mr. Rollins.

This brochure says
you're accessible

in constant communication
with the client.

It says you emphasize
conservative estate planning.

It says you stress
diversification.

What you did with my
client's money contradicts

every representation in
your brochure, doesn't it?

This was a special
thing, that's all.

A special thing.

Take a breath, Mr. Boland.

We're just getting
started here.

Your honor, he's had this man
up here for over four hours.

- This is protracted--
- Overruled.

- I'm going to allow it.
- Thank you, judge.

Mr. Boland, regarding
your financial statement

as you made over three
quarters of a million dollars

in each of the
last three years.

You set up five
different trust funds,

one for your wife and one for
each of your four children.

Each exceeds
$300,000 with you named

as the only trustee
and yet you personally

have assets totaling
only $17,000.

I like to look after my family.

No, you like to make
yourself judgment proof.

- Objection.
- That's not true.

Overruled.

You set up this sham
protection blanket,

so your fleeced clients
have nothing to chase

but an empty bag.

- I object.
- Sustained.

I am an honest man.

Anyone who knows me knows that.

Really?

Well, a Mr. Frank
teacher knows you

and in his complaint
against you--

Objection. This is
totally out of line.

I'm offering it to
him, he just testified

that everyone who knows
him knows he's honest.

I have 12 complaints here,
each by former client's,

people who know, him to be
something other than honest.

- Your honor.
- Overruled.

Mr. Frank teacher
alleges you defrauded him

and conspired to steal money
in excess of $20,000.

Are you aware of this complaint
currently filed against you?

Yes.

So when you stated just now
that everyone who knows you

knows you're honest man,
that was a lie, wasn't it?

- Objection.
- Do I have to keep taking this?

Taking is your strong suit.

Taking, stealing, lying--

Oh, for god sake.

Mr. Rollins, that's enough.

Sorry, judge.

Let's forget about
Frank teacher.

Do you know,
William Tresham, sir?

- Your honor.
- Overruled.

Mr. Rollins, do you
have much more here?

Oh, yes.

Oh, my, yes.

[instrumental music]

[moaning]

Is there anything
more dreary than

two people dividing
up their lives?

I don't know. Maybe two people
not dividing up their lives.

It's so humiliating.

You work your entire life
to achieve a little dignity

and it all comes unraveled then
the barrage of name-calling

and rock-throwing, and--

Forgive me. I know, I'm feeling
sorry for myself.

- You're entitled.
- It's just so absurd.

You evaluate your
life by the things,

and then suddenly it's
value's reduced by half.

Not its real value.

Life can't be measured,
let alone reduced.

Spoken like a man
who's never had to go

through it personally.

Spoken like a man
who's had a chance

to know, you personally.

Are you flirting with
the client, Mr. Becker?

No, your honor.

Because I'm a judge?

Because I wouldn't want
to lose your respect,

and I hope your friendship
by being a jerk.

Not to mention you're
the kind of woman

that I could get into
serious trouble with.

Trouble, how?

If I let myself go,
you're the kind of woman

I can fall deeply ass
over tea kettle in love with.

I'm sorry. Forgive me.

If we're really gonna
jump off that precipice,

I don't want to do it here.

Tell me where you want
me to go and we'll go there.

[instrumental music]

Tell me why we're
here, Mr. Becker?

Judge Ryan called
this morning and said

that she wanted to
have another meeting

as soon as possible.

Probably wants
another pound of flesh.

If this is gonna be a replay
of yesterday,

I can tell you it's gonna
be a very short meeting.

Don't lay responsibility

for what happened
yesterday at our door.

Whose door then?

She did everything
she could to enrage me.

All I'm saying is that
it swings both ways.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Sorry I'm late.

Stanley, are you willing
to listen to me for a minute?

- I'm here, aren't I?
- Okay.

I'd like to propose
the following.

Let me buy out your interest
in the house

from my share of
the stock proceeds.

Keep the partnership intact,

keep the library, keep the art.

I feel like it's more
yours than mine anyway.

With the exception of the
black and white Franz Kline.

- I'd like to keep it.
- Why that one?

Because you gave it
to me for my birthday.

Is that satisfactory?

I think so.

- Good.
- One question.

What happened between
yesterday and today?

I don't know,.

I thought about what
it was I really wanted.

I thought about
our history together

and both of us getting
on with our lives.

And then I slept on it.

El, are you alright?

You call a 101 fever

and a severe case
of reverse lunch alright...

What about tonight?

You're on your own, kid.

We could cancel.

We could make it another night.

Can't.

He's out of town, flying in.

Can't be reached.

But, El.

It'll be fine, you'll see.

You'll have a great time.

Good-bye.

The going rate for a
geologist is $400 a day.

You paid him $10,000
for one week's work.

I wanted the best.

If I hired a more expensive
geologist it's because--

But he's not more expensive.

The job before this
he made $350 a day.

The job after he
made $300 a day.

You pay him $2,000 a day?

I happen to think
he was worth it.

You paid that geologist extra

to seed the mine, didn't you?

- I did not.
- I've got a theory, Mr. Boland.

I want you to tell me
if it's true or false.

You pay this handpicked
geologist over five times

the going rate to seed the ore
and put out this phony report

which allows you
to bilk your clients.

You pay him $10,000,
and you take $75,000

plus a likely kickback on
the purchase price

from the seller who knows
the land is worthless.

- It's not true.
- Your honor.

Suddenly you're setting
up trust funds for your kids

while your widowed clients
are living on welfare.

- It's a lie!
- Objection!

Sustained.

You're the one who
is lying, Mr. Boland,

and everybody here knows it.

- I am an honest man.
- Mr. Boland.

An honest man doesn't get rich
off of senior citizens.

- Objection.
- Get out of my face!

An honest man doesn't get sued

by 12 different clients
for fraud.

Sit down, Mr. Boland.

Those suits are
completely baseless.

An honest man doesn't
conceal his assets

in hidden bank accounts.

Objection! Objection!

I will win all those suits!

Mr. Boland, you're a thief, who
should be in jail, Mr. Boland.

I've done nothing wrong,
I'm completely honest.

You have no right.

You can't!

No!

This..

Mr. Boland?

Bailiff, get a doctor!

Miss Bennett,
call an ambulance.

[instinct chatter]

Get him some help.

Boland.

Bobby!

Bobby?

Oh!

Get back! Give me some room!

Is he breathing?
Your honor.

Your honor, this man
has a life insurance policy

leaving $2 Million
to his estate.

What?

In the event this man does
in fact die, your honor,

I'd like to attach the proceeds
of that policy.

Mr. Rollins.

We've a reasonable likelihood
of success on the merits

and no means
to satisfy judgment

based on this man's ability
to hide assets.

An ability I'm sure he's
taught his coworkers--

You're completely disgusting!

Your honor, it's imperative
we freeze these assets.

For God sake, Mr. Rollins,

this man is
fighting for his life!

If he lives, judge
your order is moot.

If he dies, which it looks
he is going to judging

from his purple color I see,

then you maintain
the status quo

pending disposition.

Shut up!

I'll take it under advisement.

Now, get the hell back. Now!

I'll have the agreement
messengered over

to your office first
thing in the morning.

Great. Great.

Mr. Becker, thank
you very, very much.

Okay.

And Monica-- thank you.

- Ain't you something?
- I did have help.

But in the end, it was you.

As I recall, there were
two of us last night.

I hope you don't think that
I took advantage of you.

I'm not exactly sure who took
advantage of whom last night.

But you're a very
smart attorney,

and you read me perfectly.

I felt worthless,
hurt, betrayed, angry.

And regardless of your motives,

you made me feel wanted
and special and sexy.

You are all those things.

And I want you to know,
I'm prepared to accept

what we had at face value
and let it go at that.

But if you think you
can handle more,

if you're not afraid
of a real relationship,

you know, where to find me.

[door shuts]

What you did was repulsive.
I can't believe it!

It was the right thing.
I has--

It was reprehensible.

Now, let's all calm down.

Leland, the man died!

And all this screaming
isn't gonna bring him back.

Can the firm be
held liable for this?

Uh-uh. No, a lawyer has
qualified immunity

during a trial,
there's nothing--

What if he had a
pre-existing heart condition?

What if we could be charged
with constructive knowledge?

He didn't have
a heart condition.

And it doesn't matter.

There's no liability for
cross-examining a guy to death.

We're still looking at
some negative publicity here.

Oh, listen to this.

All you care
about is publicity?

And all he cares about his life
insurance money.

It makes me sick!

So what, I should've dropped
to my knees and had a good cry

at the expense of the client?

You could've acted
like a human being!

How human is it to let
Mrs. Crutcher die on welfare?

- Your behavior was inexcusable!
- Wait a minute!

I don't have to take this abuse.

Jonathan--

What about the trial, Stuart?

It's over, mistrial.

Stuart, you're just
as much to blame.

You sat there,
you could've stopped him.

- Stopped him.
- I got news for you, Ann.

- I was cheering for him.
- What?

You're damn right! Look, I don't
wish death on anybody.

But you should've seen this.

This guy has a
heart attack, right.

The whole room freaks
out, the judge panics,

and this kid, this
25-year-old kid,

has the presence of mind
to protect his client.

And whether you
want to admit it or not

that guy's dying
was the best thing

that could have happened
to Mrs. Crutcher.

And one other thing.

This kid's gonna be
one hell of a lawyer.

He's the kind people hire.

[telephone ringing]

[knocking]

Ready?

Am I ever?

Oh, God, you look beautiful.

Just the same old me.

You know, between
your case load and mine,

I haven't seen you in days.

I don't think you should
have come out of retirement.

Are you kidding?
It's all your fault.

Uh-uh, counselor.

I'm not that kind of girl.

You have to buy me
a romantic dinner first.

Oh, Maison Richard
romantic enough for you?

Mais oui.

Know, much about the
direct mail game, Rox?

- Nothing at all.
- It never fails to amaze me.

When I do a mailing 2.6%
response, I'm very happy.

3%, I'm beside myself.

I'm working off this list
of recent home buyers

in the Minneapolis
Saint Paul area,

Hennepin county, Ramsay county,

Washington county,
Anoka county.

I'm paying this
direct marketing firm

to give me those
who have gone from

less populous areas
to more populous areas,

because maybe, just
maybe that means

more square footage
to less square footage.

Tell me, what
products do I sell them?

I have no idea, David.

Prefabricated
storage facilities.

Do you know, what
the response was?

- No.
- 4.5% response.

It looks so good.

As a matter of
fact that next week

I'm flying to
Binghamton, New York

to talk to another
manufacturer.

- You ever been to Binghamton?
- Never.

I have been going
there for years.

Used to fly into
idle wild airport

and then take the bus,
this was on old route 17.

I'm really not familiar

with that part of
the country, David.

Middletown, Monticello,
Livingston manor,

sample case on my lap,

but I always did
alright there.

I think I see one of our
attorneys from the office.

Whoo-hoo!

Roxanne.

Oh, David Meyer,
this is Michael Kuzak

and Grace Van Owen.

- Hi. How are you?
- Pleasure to meet you.

Won't you sit down and join us?

- Our table's ready.
- Please.

Well, just for a minute.

Alright.

So, you're a lawyer
at Roxanne's firm?

- Yeah.
- You know, I just got sued.

- Did I tell you that?
- You never mentioned it, no.

Yeah, few years ago I bought
this novelty factory

in Mahwah, New Jersey.
It was going out of business.

What kind of novelties?

You know, your basic
promotional trinkets.

You got your key chains,
your bottle openers,

your pocket protectors,
your slide charts.

It was the slide charts
where we got into trouble.

What are they?

Two pieces of laminated stuff

held together with grommet

if they rotate a die-cut
window with the slide.

We get them printed up with
metric conversion tables,

spot and stain removal charts,

drink mixing guides,
you name it.

We had ones that
could calculate IRA's,

mortgage payments,
gas mileage, rim widths,

we had ten year calendars.

It was the rim widths
where we got into trouble.

This fella in Gainesville,
Florida uses the chart,

buys the wrong width tires,

gets into a car accident,
sues me.

Hey, this is not
a precision instrument.

This is a give away
item that cost me

$2.50 a unit to manufacture.

Grommets get loose, right?

There's nothing you
can do about that.

This is one of the reasons
I got out

of small manufacturing.

Hi.

It's late. I...

I should have called first.

That's okay.

So if we get
started, I'm not sure

where it's gonna lead.

Me neither.

I haven't been this scared
since I was a kid

on my first date.

What are you afraid of?

Everything.

Well, maybe we should
discuss this in my chambers.

[instrumental music]

- Hi, doll.
- Hi, how are you feeling?

- Much better, thanks.
- See you later.

Alright.

So how was the date?

If I had three weeks
to live, I'd marry him.

Why?

Because every day
would seem like a year.

[instrumental music]

[outro music]