All language subtitles for L.A.Law.S01E15.The.Douglas.Fur.Ball.1080p.HULU.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-BurCyg_track3_[eng]

[indistinct chatter]

Clerk: All rise!

Morris: Before we get started,

who's got a tan Buick with
California plate number

1-E-O-H-1-0-1?

Um, that's me, Your Honor.
Uh, is there something wrong?

You might say that.
You're parked in my spot.

Well, what are you
looking at me for?

You're holding up a
courtroom full of people.

Go move your car!

Stan, put my car where
it's supposed to be.

Clerk, call the first case.

Clerk: Kuzak versus
Superior Court.

Be seated.

Morris: I have a feeling I know
why you're here, Leland.

You are no doubt going
to demonstrate to me

the error of my ways as you've
done so many times in the past.

- Morris: Am I right?
- Not I, Your Honor.

I have a writ from
the Court of Appeals

ordering you to
instruct the jailer

to release Michael Kuzak
forthwith.

Morris: Well now, McKenzie,
Brackman certainly

takes care of its people. Okay.

You've got your Mr. Kuzak back.

He might benefit
from your tutelage

on proper conduct
of a criminal trial.

And since I don't recall your
ever having been reticent

about imparting your
wisdom to others,

I'm sure that's just
what he'll receive.

Well, as of right now,
I'm unaware of any

misconduct on Mr. Kuzak's part.

Are you saying I exceeded
my authority in some way?

Morris: Are you implying that
I was in error by punishing

Mr. Kuzak for contempt?

I believe the Court of Appeals

has spoken on that issue,
Your Honor.

Does this writ say
anywhere that I was in error?

I take that to be the
import of it, mm-hmm.

Leland, you're a
wizard of ambiguity,

you know that?

You can turn a phrase
that creeps on cat feet

up to the edge of being definite

then turns and disappears
without leaving a trace.

Morris: Now I'm going to do
something that I daresay

no one has ever
done to you before.

I'm going to ask you a question.

And if you give me anything
other than a one-word answer,

the two possible choices being
yes and no,

I'm going to cite you
for contempt of court

and someone else is gonna
have to come down here

and get the both of you out.

Now my question is,
does this writ say anywhere

that I was in error?

No.

Good.

Then what we have is a case of
the Court of Appeals

exercising their authority

differently than I
exercised mine.

Morris: This isn't the first
time that's happened.

I'm sure it won't be the last.

Release Kuzak.

It's always a pleasure
to see you, Leland.

Take the day, pal.

He's all yours.

Will the court officer
instruct the gentleman

who's reading his newspaper

that this isn't a bus station?

[indistinct chatter]

[exhales]

Michael, how do you feel?

You know how when
American hostages are released,

they usually take 'em
to a U.S. Air Force base

in West Germany so
they can get checked out?

Sort of decompress
before going home?

Uh-huh.

Well, what I need
right now is for us

to go to a comfortable,

professionally-run hotel,

take ourselves a room,

order up a bunch
of room service,

I can get checked out

and then undergo a
concentrated regimen

of physiological rehabilitation.

Okay.

Gracie?

Gracie, were you faithful
to me while I was in prison?

I tried, Mickey, but...

two days is an awful long time.

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[epic music]

- Hey, where were you?
- Just analyzing some data.

You don't wanna be late to
a sentencing hearing, Andrew.

It sends out the
wrong kind of message.

Yeah, but this wasn't
just any data. I mean, this--

I was completing a crash course
in Judge John Englander.

I-- I don't follow.

Based on a correlation of
incidents

and variance analysis,
I can expect

to be sentenced
to six months summary probation

and 80 hours of
community service.

Yeah, well,
I hope you're right but,

I think you could
be looking at a year.

No way. Now, I plotted the
judge's sentencing record

against the standard
deviation curve.

That's an X-Y kind of thing.

Now the projection
is based upon a defendant

who is a white male,
age 17 to 22

from a middle to upper middle
income group

with no prior convictions

and a felony which
entailed no violence.

What about for a non-white?

Well, if you're talking
about the Ortega case,

I'd be concerned.

Hey, if you want, I can
do an analysis for you.

And so, based on the careful
examination of the report

and the recommendation
submitted to me

and based on the fact
that this is a first offense

Englander: and the defendant
appears to be

keeping to the straight
and narrow,

I believe no purpose would be
served by incarceration.

Instead, I sentence the
defendant, Andrew Putnam...

to six months summary probation

and 80 hours community service.

Don't disappoint me, young man.

Markowitz: That's fine.
We'll see you at 4:00?

Thank you.

- Markowitz: Oh, boy.
- Douglas, what happened?

I broke my ankle
playing racquet ball.

- Well, here, let me help you.
- That's quite alright.

I've gotta start getting
used to these things.

The doctor says I'll
be hobbling around

for the next six weeks.

- Are you in a lot of pain?
- What do you think?

Brackman: Thanks, Victor.

And how is our jailbird?

Does his absence
this morning mean

we failed in securing his
release from the pokey?

He's out and
he's taking the day.

Well, as soon as
he's recuperated,

I want him to jump
this Cromwell situation.

Actually, Douglas, I don't
think we're gonna need him.

In all deference to your
good labors in this matter,

trial date will be upon us
sooner than we think

and we need to bring our
best litigator up to speed.

I'm on top of it, Douglas.

George Cromwell trusts me.

We have an excellent rapport.

And in my opinion,
he'd object to having

another litigator brought
in this deep in the case.

Don't you think you're
being a little proprietary, Ann?

I mean, I think that's
something for George Cromwell

to decide, don't you think?

Excuse me?

Markowitz: I just think that,

if Michael has
his decks cleared,

he should jump into the fray.

If Ann feels confident
and in control of her case,

I think we should
leave her alone.

Thank you, Leland.

Brackman: People versus Ortega.

Yeah. My client's charged
with knocking over a bar.

People versus Putnam.

Six months summary probation
and community service.

As an aside, my compliments
to the young genius.

Brackman: Our phone system is
finally working the way

it's supposed to.

Richardson Estate?

Notice of Elections filed.

Randy: Morning.

Brackman: Mr. Heidegger.

I hope we didn't
drag you out of bed.

Randy: Is there a problem?

I didn't have any
appointments this morning.

Brackman: And why is that?

Well, nobody gave me any.

And that's your understanding
of the job description?

Dribbling your time away
like a doofus?

Collecting an excess
of $1,000 a week?

Waiting for someone to
throw busy work your way?

Hey, I'm sorry.

Brackman: Well, if there's
nothing more, we're adjourned.

[indistinct chatter]

- Mr. Brackman?
- That's me.

I have some papers for you.

Brackman: My assistant can
see you're provided

with the necessary
acknowledgment of service.

No good, chief.
This goes to you direct.

It's a summons.

Ann?

Hah. I'm sorry.

I-- I was out of line,
definitely way out of line.

I have no right stepping on your
professional life like that.

I really appreciate your
recognizing that, Stuart.

Ann?

Ann? Um...

I-- I know this isn't very cool
of me to admit or anything.

But... I've just become
like a basket case

ever since you got
involved with this guy.

Stuart, there is
no involvement.

And maybe we can talk later.

But right now,
if you'll excuse me,

I have a meeting to prepare for.

Arnold?

Just so you know,
I didn't start it.

Oh, boy.

Let the chips fall
where they may.

I didn't plan it,
I didn't mean for it to happen.

But now that it has...

now that Sheila's taken
the first step, so be it.

What brought this on?

She found out
I was having an affair.

You?

The truth is,
I've been having a little fling

with a low-impact aerobics
instructor from Playa Del Ray.

We were on our way to her
apartment when the little vixen

said something
particularly provocative.

I tried to take a shortcut
to her front door and...

I didn't break my ankle
playing racquet ball.

I broke it hurtling a hedge.

She took me to the hospital

and some idiot in
the billing department

called to confirm my
insurance coverage.

Sheila came racing down
to the emergency room

and found Shannon
holding my hand.

How committed is she
to the idea of divorce?

Who cares? I'd just
as soon hold her to it.

Becker: That's now, Douglas.

But when you've had a chance to
think about it a little,

I'm sure you'll agree divorce
is a pretty drastic solution

to any problems you
and Sheila are having.

And I think a drastic solution

may be just what
the doctor ordered.

Seventeen years of trudging home
to Sheila night after night?

By 9:00, we've eaten,
the small talk's over.

She's in bed, I've had
a stiff belt of Maalox

and I'm drowsing on
the living room couch

still bloated from dinner.

I'm looking to
cut loose a little.

Fatten up the old address book.

I wanna see 20 girls naked
in the coming year.

I guess I wanna
live the life of Becker.

I guess I have had my share.

You've had mine as well.

Trust me, it's not always
the thrill you think it is.

Brackman: I'd like to be
the judge of that.

Look, Douglas, you
can do whatever you want.

But I've gotta tell you, a
divorce will not be painless.

Besides the emotional anguish
which you're gonna go through,

and believe me,
you will go through it,

Sheila is in a position to wreak
absolute havoc with this firm.

Do you think she'd
go after the partnership?

Count on it. You can also
count on the probability

of a claim on
all future earnings,

if she can show
a substantial contribution

to your legal education.

Oh, my God.

That's horrible.

It's not a pretty picture.

So you think we're
being a little precipitous?

After 17 years, I don't
think one little deep knee bend

with an aerobics instructor
is reason for divorce, no.

It's easy for you say.

Look, let me arrange
a conference with Sheila

and her attorney
with the idea of maybe

reconciling your differences.

And if we need to, we'll
play hardball later on.

I'll leave it up to you
to guide me, Arnold.

How's the decompression coming?

Decompression largely complete.

Serenity's setting in.

Michael, just what happened
to you in jail this weekend?

A lot.

I don't wanna make
it sound like I'm back

from 18 years in Siberia,

but it was a hell
of an experience.

Lying there on a cot,

guys yelling, bars clanging.

I got to see the world
through Sid Hershberg's eyes.

I actually began to feel
the despair that he felt.

How he had to kill himself
to get out of his own prison.

How I had to go
to prison to find out...

and understand
how really free I am.

So we're done with Sid now?

Sid's history?

We can get on with our lives?

- Yeah.
- Good.

Because all this stuff about
seeing the world

through Sid's eyes
scares the poo out of me.

If Sid's eyes
saw what mine do now...

[soft music]

they would never have seen
the world the way they did.

You're the best thing that
ever happened to me, Gracie.

And I guess I can
thank him for showing me

how lucky I am to have you.

Then here's to Sid.

To Sid.
[bottles clink]

[music continues]

[Van Owen laughs]

Elizabeth: McKenzie Brackman?

male #1: I'm sorry. I will
not be available...

Elizabeth:
Can you hold a moment?

Yes? May I help you?

- Oh, Leland!
Elizabeth: Let me transfer you.

Morris?

Got a few minutes
for an old classmate?

Oh, yeah. What brings you here?

Well, for starters,
I'd like to apologize

for my behavior,
which I know was a bit rash.

McKenzie:
Incarcerating an attorney

without granting a stay
is more than a bit rash.

Hood: Perhaps...

but if my judgment
was clouded, Leland,

it's just that my job
has rendered me

a little short of temper lately.

I'm getting out.

What?

After some 25 years
on the bench?

There's no satisfaction anymore.

What few rewards there
are don't seem to be

particularly sustaining.

When you walked into
my courtroom this morning,

I suddenly saw all the things
that have passed me by,

including the money,
[laughing] I must admit.

Well, I'm sure
you'll have no trouble.

The firms in town will
start a feeding frenzy

over a Superior Court judge.

Actually, Leland, I'm here to
give you first bite.

Hmm, you wanna work here?

I think you know that I wouldn't
be approaching you

if I wasn't damn certain that
I had a contribution to make.

Well, I have no
doubt about that.

But we are a very small firm.

And I can help you grow.

I've made a lot of connections
in my years, Leland.

I can be very valuable.

Hmm, naturally,
this is something

I'd have to take up
with the other partners.

Oh, I understand completely.

And if it helps in any way,
you can tell Mike Kuzak

I'll be willing to have
my name come after his.

[laughs]

You can also tell him I'm sorry.

I'll pass that on.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi, Andrew. How'd it go?

Well, unsupervised probation
and some community service.

Oh, great.

So, actually, w-- what
I was thinking...

[stammers]
Well, what I was hoping is,

I-- I'd like you to have dinner

with me tomorrow.

Oh, I don't know.

To celebrate.

Um, you know, I already
made the reservation.

- Please?
- Well...

Do you like French food?
You'll love this place.

I'll pick you up at 7:30, okay?

Okay.

Great. That's-- that's great.

- Some enchanted evening?
- Oh, Arnie, stop.

What was I supposed to do?

Prosecutor: And the bar was
closed at this time?

Simpson: Well, I didn't think
anybody was there

until I come out of the kitchen.

And see the cash
register busted open.

And that guy running
away with the money.

Let the record reflect
that the witness has again

indicated the defendant,
Francisco Ortega.

- Your witness.
- Thank you.

When the police arrived,
you told them

that you couldn't identify
the suspect, didn't you?

Well, I didn't think I could
until I saw him in the lineup.

Did you know, sir,
that Mr. Ortega

was sitting on a
stool in your bar

two nights before the robbery?

I didn't know that until
the District Attorney told me.

Sifuentes:
Tell me something, Mr. Simpson.

If you were
serving a guy for a...

three-hour period
and then you saw him

two nights later,
he'd look familiar, wouldn't he?

- Objection! Hypothetical.
- Overruled.

Sifuentes: Isn't it possible,
sir, that you recognized

my client because he
was a customer in your bar?

That when you saw him
in the lineup, the only thing

that triggered in your mind was
that you had seen him before?

He's the man
I saw with the money!

Sifuentes:
The kitchen door and the exit

are at opposite ends.

If he was running away
when you first came in,

you couldn't see his face.

- I saw him from the side.
- The side?

He was headed in
the opposite direction.

- You saw his back.
- I had an angle from the side.

Sifuentes: And you testified

that, when you first saw him,
he was just at the door.

So at best, we are talking
about a two or three-second

look from the side.

Something like that.

Mr. Simpson, I have no doubt
that you are an honest man.

I want you to tell me if
the following scenario

is possible, okay?
Just if it's possible.

You walk into a room and you
see a man running out the door.

You really don't get a
good look at his face.

It's all happening so fast.

The police come
and you tell them

that you really are
not gonna be able

to identify who did it.

But when they take
you down to the station,

they show you a face...

that you have seen before.

And you say to yourself,

[snaps fingers]
"That must be him."

That's possible,
isn't it, Mr. Simpson?

Anything's possible.

Sifuentes: Thank you, sir.

No further questions.

Your Honor,
this is outrageous.

Counsel is asking
for summary judgment

when there are substantial
questions of material fact.

I'm asking for judgment only

on the second and third
causes of action, Your Honor.

Which go to design defect only.

McLeash:
Which is a big part of our case.

Counselors?

So big, he didn't come up with a

single fact in support of it.

Johnson: Miss Kelsey--

So big, they didn't file any

affidavits or
exhibits which would

indicate anything defective in
that plane.

I must agree, Mr. McLeash,
that the evidence

in support of
the allegations contained

in the second and third causes

of action is rather thin.

Have you got anything else?

Your Honor, I have
submitted numerous affidavits

which go to the sophisticated
nature of the craft.

McLeash:
Such sophistication rendering it

virtually inoperable
by the deceased.

Which goes only to
the negligence theory

in the first cause of action,
Your Honor.

And has nothing whatever
to do with the question

of design defect.

She's got you, sir.
I'm going to sustain you

on the first cause of action.

But as to the second and third,

there is simply no genuine
issue of material fact.

I disagree.

Judgment in favor of defendant

as to the second and
third causes of action.

Counsel for both sides
should prepare to proceed

to trial on the first
cause of action only.

Johnson: Thank you both.

- Brilliant.
- Thank you.

[soft music]

[Cromwell chuckles]

I still can't believe it.
You were just great.

Yes, that'll be fine. Thank you.

- I felt pretty good.
- You were better than that.

You were all the champion
I could have wanted.

- Well, we haven't won yet.
- Heh, that's alright.

Your argument alone
deserves a celebration.

[cork pops]

[glasses clink]

At least it had
the desired effect.

[music continues]

Speaking of which,
I'd like to tell you the...

effect of watching you
in action had on me.

I intend to involve
McKenzie Brackman in the affairs

of Cromwell Aviation more
than I originally intended.

Cromwell: See, we're planning
an acquisition next year and...

I've been told that
there's a possibility

we could be involved in
some anti-trust problems.

I'd like it if you
would navigate.

Well, there are a couple of
people at the firm

with very solid
anti-trust experience.

Ann, I'd like you
to know something.

As far as I'm concerned...

McKenzie Brackman,

well, it's you.

[instrumental music]

[both chuckle]

You shouldn't take your lawyer

out like this before
the case is over.

[both chuckle]

I'm glad I don't have to
be in court in the morning.

I'm sure you'd do just fine.

You show a lot of faith in me.
I've gotta say that.

Complete faith.

It's appreciated.

It's well-earned.

Thank you for dinner.

Thank you for the company.

[music continues]

[music continues]

[epic music]

Uh, [knocks on door] excuse me?
Uh, when were you...

when were you planning on saying
something to me?

Around the time the two of you

took a long weekend
together in Paris?

Stuart, could we
possibly do this later?

Save the continuances
for court, Ann, okay?

Okay, Stuart.

There's obviously a
series of burning questions

that you're afraid to ask.
So let me answer them.

Yes, he does have a
romantic interest in me.

No, that doesn't
bother me particularly.

And, no, I haven't
slept with him.

Uh, so far.

You gonna sleep
with him in the future?

You know, the fact that you feel
compelled to ask that question

means that we do
have a problem, you and I.

Kelsey: But the problem isn't
George Cromwell.

No, huh-uh.

No, George Cromwell is just a
guy that you kissed last night.

- What?
- I saw you, Ann.

You spied on me?

I started out just waiting.

Waiting for what?

Waiting for you to come home.

You knew I went out to dinner
with him.

Ann, does dinner necessarily
entail coming home drunk?

Forgive me, Ann. The last time
I saw you that plowed,

you went to bed with me.
And you didn't even remember it.

I will not be made
to feel like a slut

because I had dinner
with my client.

And I will not tolerate
your spying on me!

I'm jealous, Ann.

Forgive me, I'm jealous. Is that
a big sin where you come from?

You're more than jealous.

The problem you have
with George Cromwell

is entirely in your mind.

If he didn't exist, you'd
think of something else.

Wrong, because you
could have shut him down

and you didn't.

You let him wonder...

and you let him hope.

You let him, Ann.

You let him kiss you.

[clicks tongue]

What was I supposed to do,
Stuart?

Punch out his lights?

[sighs] Stop smothering me!

We have gone from
friendship to courtship

to total domesticity so fast,

I feel like I can't breath!

You are the sweetest man
that I've ever met, Stuart.

But you are also the neediest.

Well, maybe you need
somebody a little less needy.

Now, I'd like to
report happily...

that, as basketball season
is over,

Mr. Heidegger has been
prevailed upon to tender

his long-overdue resignation.

Brackman:
So, if there's nothing more,

Arnold and I are
expected across town.

I have one more
piece of business.

Judge Morris Hood
of Superior Court

has approached me with the news

that he's looking to
retire from the bench

and he'd like to join this firm.

- Are you kidding?
- Wait a minute.

This is the same guy that
threw Mike in the slam?

McKenzie: Yeah. Morris and I
have known each other

since law school.

He is a seasoned jurist.

And there's no doubt he
can make a contribution here.

Wait a minute.
Are you telling us

that you've already invited him?

I told him that I would air it
with the members of the firm.

So I now throw it open to you.

Absolutely not.

Quite apart from the
personality conflicts

which will inevitably result,

the fact is, this firm needs
more foot soldiers.

The last thing we
need is another general.

Yeah, I agree. I think we ought
to reject him simply

out of solidarity to Mike.

Besides which, this is
definitely not the time

earnings-wise to take on
another profit participant.

What are your feelings about it,
Leland?

At the present,
I would rather not say.

Kuzak: Well, whatever you do say

can and will be
used against you

by somebody sometime.

You brought it up.
You've gotta have feelings

one way or the other.

Knowing him for
as long as you have,

you're in the best position
to guide us, Leland.

I think that's exactly
what he's doing, Douglas.

Oh, Morris, surely
you can understand

that I'm under serious
constraints here.

What my firm is in need of

is associates, not partners.

That's just a hard
economic fact.

Why didn't you
offer me a position

as an associate in that case?

- Oh, come on, Morris.
- Why not?

Were you afraid I'd accept?

I'm no more about to
become your employer

than you are mine.

If you and I are to
have an association,

I wouldn't think of
doing it on anything

other than a partnership basis.

Oh, the ways that exist

for telling someone no.

The ways in which I've heard it.

"My hands are tied, Morris.
I wish it had been up to me."

"I've got bigger things
in mind for you, Morris."

"Play ball on this, Morris.

There's a federal judgeship in
it for you." [scoffs]

If you were coming
in at any other time,

I'm sure the others could
have been persuaded.

If you wanted me,
you could have done it now.

But once you decided against me,

it was a dead issue as far as
anyone else was concerned.

Let's face it, Leland.

You're afraid of the
competition a presence

like mine would generate!

I'm not afraid of
competition, Morris.

The truth is, I have
no reason to expect

your temperament as attorney

to be any more to my liking than

your temperament as a judge!

Well, I've watched kids
out of school two, three years

come before me making
more money than I'll ever see.

You're damn right my temperament
can get a little nasty.

Oh, damn it! There's
more to this than money!

Well, one time there was.

My ambition ran to politics.

But when the Democrats
lost the state House in '66,

that ambition became a
drawer full of mementos

and a file cabinet full
of failure that sits

next to the water heater
in my basement.

They give me a parking
place next to the courthouse.

They let me sit on
the dais at dinners.

But they told me Superior Court
is as far as I go.

Now I don't care if it doesn't
live up to your lofty ideals,

ideals you can so easily afford
to indulge in.

My dreams have been broken.

What I want is the money.

That's mine.

I realize that an expensive
lunch is only proper form

for telling someone thanks,
but no thanks.

And while I don't want
to appear ungracious

or unappreciative
of the hospitality

and the largess...

thanks, but no thanks.

This way, gentlemen.

Thank you.

There you go.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Lisa.

Where's Alvin?

Lisa: I'll be handling the
preliminary stages of this case.

I didn't even know
that you worked here.

Shall we get started?

I read a copy of
your settlement offer.

And I was wondering if I could
take a look at your copy.

Why do you wanna see our copy?

I think there may be some
pages missing from mine.

- Pages missing?
- Yes.

I didn't see anything in
there about the partnership.

I assumed it was
a clerical error.

What were you expecting to see
about the partnership, Lisa?

Mr. Brackman is a managing
partner with vested interests

in all income
earned by your firm.

Before we even begin
serious discussions,

I need to see financial
statements going back

nine years or coterminous
with his being made partner.

Don't you think that
might be a little premature?

Particularly in light of
the fact that Mr. Brackman

feels extreme remorse
about this entire matter?

We'd very much like
to explore the possibility

of a reconciliation
with Mrs. Brackman

in spite of the circumstances.

It's nice to see you, Sheila.

I have advised
my client to resist

any attempt at reconciliation.

Have you advised
your client as well

of the fact that you have a
personal ax to grind with me?

Mr. Becker must be
referring to an extremely

brief romantic incident in
which we were both involved.

You apparently mistake
ambition for romance.

But that's not surprising

coming from someone
whose only passion

is scrambling up on
the backs of others.

How would you know
what my passion is?

I never displayed
any of it to you.

Oh, what was it? Make believe?

Lisa: That, or pity.

There's something so
desperate about you, Becker.

The way you always
fuss over your clothes

and your car and your condo.

Who's more
desperate than you, Lisa?

Oh, you're fairly young now.
But in a few years,

you're gonna be clutching
at a box of saltines

late at night
trying to figure out

how it is that you managed
to wind up so all alone!

Lisa:
And where will you be, I wonder?

Probably tucked in bed somewhere
with the largest collection

of pornographic videotapes
in west L.A.

You'll lull yourself to
sleep with the images

of naked strangers
on the screen.

Young ones, Arnie,
the younger the better.

And you watching them...

fat, burnt out and bald!

Excuse me!

Whose divorce is this?

Sheila, I can't help feeling

that this is getting
away from us.

That's what usually
happens when you start

trying to jump over
another woman's bushes.

I had an affair.

These things happen.

I have no doubt that there
are consequences to that.

You better believe it, mister.

I'm willing to try
to patch things up.

Well, maybe I'm not.

And it has nothing to do
with this affair, Douglas.

You've had affairs,
I've had affairs.

It runs deeper than that.

You've had affairs?

What kind of affairs
have you had?

They didn't amount to much.
The point is...

I am more than
just a housewife or a cosigner.

I need attention.

I just need to get
this straight in my mind.

Have you had multiple affairs?

Was it once?

Was it someone I know?

It was the pool man, okay?

Angelo?

Tony, the new pool man.

Oh, my God.

Look, you both had a
little extracurricular activity.

Who else?
The kitchen contractor?

The roofer? Oh, my God.

What's his name? The tennis pro!

- Bjorn.
Becker: People, please, look.

Becker: The important thing here
is not what you've done

outside the bonds
of your marriage.

But what you've built
within the marriage.

Oh, please.

A home, a family, a life.

I can't stand the thought
of you with another man.

I thought we were
getting a divorce here.

Brackman: There's no one who
wants you more than I.

Take me back, Sheila, please.

Douglas, are you begging me?

Yes.

Alright.

Englander:
Mr. Sifuentes, Mr. Aoli?

Having considered
your closing arguments

and having heard the
testimony you used

at three days of trial,
including that of an eye witness

I found to be
substantially credible,

I now find the defendant,
Francisco Ortega...

guilty of robbery
in the first degree.

Sentencing set
February the ninth, 10 a.m.

Your Honor, at this time,
I move for a new trial

and the disqualification of
Your Honor from this case.

On what grounds?

Bigotry, Your Honor.

[spectators murmuring]

This statistical
analysis demonstrates

a clear-cut racist
predisposition

based on
Your Honor's conviction

and sentencing record
over the years.

That's outrageous!

Your Honor's conviction rate
in non-jury trials

for non-white defendants
when the prosecution

has a white eye witness
is nearly six times as great

as when the defendant is white
or the eye witness is non-white.

This includes Your Honor's
time on the Municipal

as well as the Superior Court's.

And it clearly demonstrates
that Your Honor's racism

has served to deny
my client a fair trial.

I don't know what all this is,
counselor, but I'll tell you,

you're way out of line.

Your Honor, I am not
trying to provoke or offend you.

But the fact remains
that these statistics--

Don't stand there
calling me a racist

and pretend you're not
trying to provoke or offend me!

I sit here very much
offended, Mr. Sifuentes!

Shall I take this to be a
denial of my motion, sir?

Take it as a personal
response to your accusation!

I'll respond in my official
capacity at a later date!

In the meantime...

this motion
is taken under advisement.

[clearing throat]

May I help you?

I have a reservation for two
under the name of Putnam.

Putnam, Putnam, Putnam.

Thank you.

Right this way, if you would.

[soft instrumental music]

Enjoy your dinner.

How much you
supposed to tip those guys?

I've never really known, Andrew.

- Maybe five dollars.
- Really?

Gee, I wish I'd known.
I just gave him two.

It's alright, really.
Two is fine.

I hope you're right.
You don't think

I should just go over and
give him the difference?

No, definitely not.

It's not a big thing.

Good evening. Would you care for
anything from the bar?

Uh, yes. We'd like a bottle of

Dom Perignon, please. Chilled.

[music continues]

So, this must be

a tremendous weight off
your shoulders.

Oh, it is. I intend to
put that all behind me.

I am sorry to bother you, sir.

But I wonder if I might
see some identification

that would verify your age?

My age?
[chuckles]

Well, actually, gentlemen,
that's quite a compliment.

I appreciate it.

[mumbles]

You know, it's-- it's
just a thing of an ID...

I...

Uh, why don't I just
order the champagne?

If your companion is underage,

we cannot permit him
to drink on the premises.

I understand.

It'll just be for me.

May I bring the
young man a soft drink?

[music continues]

Well, don't you look

exceptionally
alluring this morning?

Thank you.

- Uh-huh, I knew it.
- What?

How you can always
tell with a woman.

The whites of her
eyes get totally clear.

That's really dumb, Arnie.

- Tell me what happened.
- No.

How was it?

It's none of your
business, Arnie.

Oh, come on, Rox. Share!

No, and don't ask me again.

- You wanted to see me?
- Yes.

[typewriter keys clacking]

Come on in.

I've been reading through
your motion papers.

I must say, I'm really stunned.

I was just going by
the numbers, Your Honor.

Numbers are a
funny thing, counselor.

Do you wanna hear
some interesting numbers

about Victor Sifuentes?

When you worked in the
Public Defender's office...

you were nine times
more likely to seek a trial

when the defendant
was of Hispanic descent

than when he was
either black or white.

My clients happen
to be primarily Hispanic.

Numbers of Hispanics
was slightly less than

twice the number
of blacks and whites.

The number of hours
you logged per case

shows a distinct predisposition
towards favoring clients

with Hispanic surnames,

not unlike your present
client, I might add.

With all due respect,

you don't know the first thing
about the cases that I handled.

And just how much do you
know about the cases I handled?

Nothing at all,
but I cannot ignore

a computer analysis of
your record on the bench

when there appears to be
a good chance that my client

was convicted
because he is a Chicano!

Englander: Judges don't judge by
computer, Mr. Sifuentes.

We judge with our hearts
and minds...

and experience.

I don't think of myself
as a bigot any more

than you think of
yourself as one.

Nevertheless,
I'm granting your motion.

These numbers at least
entitle your client

to the benefit of the doubt.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Englander: My reputation is that
of a liberal, counselor.

I have supported
various civil rights causes

over the years because
my sense of decency

told me they were
worthy of support.

But now you come along...

with this frankly
chilling bit of news

that, for all my
professed liberalism,

I've in fact been sending
men to prison at least

in part because of
the color of their skin.

That is not something
I can ignore.

I will think long
and hard on this.

Hope you do the same.

[intercom buzzes]

Yes?

Elizabeth:
Judge Morris Hood, sir.

[sighs] Tell him-- tell him
I'll call him back.

Elizabeth: He's been arrested.

Put him on.

I really hate your guts, Becker.

[sighs]

I don't hate yours, Lisa.

You didn't give a damn
about saving that marriage.

You just wanted to
humiliate me all over again.

Not true.

I pride myself on
knowing what the client

really wants and delivering it.

Humiliating you
was just a bonus.

You don't know what I
had to do to get Kroenisch

to let me handle that case.

- I have a pretty good idea.
- No. See, you don't.

I lost one job that way.
I'm not about to lose another.

Lisa: Oh, you're really
something, Arnie.

You stab me in the back,

you poison this
entire firm against me.

And then you saw to it
that I didn't get hired

at a time when
I really needed a job.

And all because you
decided it would be awkward

to work in the same office with
a girl you had an affair with.

Well, it wouldn't have
had to be awkward at all.

In fact, I could
have easily forgotten

that it ever happened.

That was the whole problem.

I couldn't have.

When I found out that I was just
another rung on the ladder

for you, Lisa, it... hurt me.

[sighs]

Becker:
Look, will you do me something?

I'm not the hard
guy you think I am.

Oh, you lying sack!

Becker: Hey, I'm a sucker for
a pretty girl's affection.

And when I find out
that I've been had,

sometimes, yeah,
I can get a little ugly.

Trying to get ahead
of someone on line

at the post office
is a little ugly.

What you did to me
was despicable.

You seem to forget that
as a partner in this firm,

I have an obligation
to assist my colleagues

in making informed
decisions about

who we hire and who we don't.

And having a first-year
associate who has shown a...

pronounced willingness
to sleep around as a method

of career advancement is not in
the best interest of this firm.

Besides, you seem to
have landed on your feet.

Yeah, I did, didn't I?

Kind of makes you curious
about what a second go-around

would be like, doesn't it?

- No.
- Why?

Because I'm a lawyer
in my own right?

Because I have a bright
future at the firm I'm with?

Because the uncertainty
of my getting hired

or not getting hired isn't
hanging over us anymore?

I just don't think that this is
appropriate right now, Lisa.

No, I bet you don't.

It isn't nearly sordid enough
for Arnold Becker, is it?

No slave trade, no trap doors...

no ice pick through the heart.

Nothing to gain except
the pure turn-on of it all.

And that's no turn-on at
all for Arnold Becker, is it?

I don't know.

But if you wanna try...

come on. Let's try.

- Stop it!
- What's the matter, kid?

Not sordid enough for you?

I guess not.

The tragedy of this is...

I'm just like you.

Arnold Becker
with a pair of jugs.

[door slams]

[clamoring]

- Judge Hood!
- Judge Hood!

[reporters shouting
indistinctly]

reporter #1:
What comes next, Your Honor?

reporter #2:
How many people are involved?

reporter #1:
Your Honor, any comments?

female #1: If you get anything,
anything at all...

[indistinct chatter]

- Excuse me, sir.
- I'm Judge Hood's attorney.

Well, you'll have to wait out
here until he's through being

processed, counselor.

[indistinct chatter]

officer #1: Address?

Hood: 1139 South Crest,
West Los Angeles.

officer #2:
Charged with one count PC 93,

receiving a bribe
by a judicial officer.

officer #1:
Have you read him his rights?

Yeah, he's been read and
he understands the Miranda.

officer #1: Alright, Judge.
I'm gonna fingerprint you now.

So just extend your right hand.

Relax your fingers
and I'll do the rest.

[theme music]

[music continues]