Original subtitles

Okay, so were you watching?

We were playing a game.

I say, "I'm the pig."

- You say... - Don't touch his egg!

- Yes, yes. - Don't touch his egg.

Louder, peasants.

- With more energy. - Could be louder.

- It's really fun once you get it. - Yeah.

Play it right, and stay within the boundaries.

No, come on. Here.

Arriguccio, I think you should be the pig.

- Yeah! - Yes.

- No. It's a kind offer, Stratilia, but I... - Come on.

Arriguccio, pig time!

Arrigooch, you are gonna love this!

This is right up your alley.

Here, take the egg. And now, go!

- Uh, I'm the pig. - Don't touch his egg!

- His egg! - Don't touch his egg!

Arriguccio, you're doin' it wrong. I'll show you how.

You have to snort, you see. And you have to chase us.

You're gonna get my little egg because I'm the pig!

Don't touch her egg!

You're not gonna catch me!

Eggy! You're gonna get my little eggy!

- You're not gonna catch me! - You're going to get the egg!

Oh.

- I'm the pig! - Don't touch her egg!

- I'm the pig! - Don't touch her egg!

Hello!

It's the mercenaries!

- Grab your shields. - Soldiers, tighten up.

The gift of this villa comes with a trial, but it is a trial we can win.

Yeah.

These mercenaries believe this villa to be fortified and guarded.

We are fortified. We are guarded.

- Yes. - We are a collection of idiots.

And much else stands in our favor, atop this hill, with a trusted gate,

steep walls with water and food aplenty,

et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I believe that we can hold out for as long as...

five years.

- Oh, five years! - Yeah!

With limited cannibalism, six.

And they'll leave and hunt for easier prey long before then.

- Oh God. - Men, take up your weapons.

Signor Tindaro, my spear is purely decorative.

It looks good.

Oh God. It's Licisca.

Let her in.

Take it.

Have you seen the mercenaries? How many are there?

Ouch!

Have you... have you seen Pampinea?

Licisca, wait!

Licisca, stop.

- Licisca. - Get away, please.

Where are you going?

Out the whore door, if you must know.

They're already at the gate.

Yeah, but Tindaro says that we can wait them out.

Oh, what, the military genius?

Well, he's wrong. But best of luck to ya.

Okay. Okay.

I'm terrible. But...

I'm getting better, aren't I?

And I'm your sister.

Yeah, okay, I know that didn't use to mean anything,

but it does now. Just...

give me a chance.

I have had, in my whole life,

two days away from you.

The day when I pushed you off a bridge, and the next day when I came here,

and... and boys liked me, and I did what I wanted,

and everybody treated me like a human being.

And then, there you are at the door, dragging me back into servitude.

I should not have pushed you off that bridge.

I should have cut off your fucking head.

No, but just wait.

Living here with you has changed me.

Misia has changed me...

Even if you did change,

even if your little crush on Misia...

It's not a crush.

I love her.

I'd like to see you love anyone that isn't you.

Ow. Ow.

Dear Lord. No, no, no, no, no.

Licisca says they're at the gates.

- This is a problem. - No, no, no, no, no.

That gate has stood for over 200 years. We have plenty of time to boil the oil.

They've breached the gate!

- Sirisco! - No, no, no, no!

There.

There.

Oh my God.

There must be 30 of them. And they're tall.

Okay!

We're going for secondary positions and cold oil!

Cold oil!

Here.

I didn't know you were so mighty.

Thank you.

Look at us. It's just like I dreamed.

Knock, knock, friends!

- No. - Oh my God.

No. What the fuck?

Friends?

I was having so much fun!

- Calm down. - Friends!

I have some good news.

I struck a bargain with this gentleman and his comrades.

He's quite reasonable despite his rough exterior.

You may enter under flag of truce!

- No! What? - Why?

Lay down your weapons and wait in silence...

What the fuck?

...while we lower our ferocious defenses.

Okay, sounds good.

Everyone lower their defenses.

- Lower your defenses. - No, she's gonna kill me.

- Lower your defenses! - Put that down!

Put it on the ground! On the ground!

- Now it's down. - Put that down!

- Happy? - She's gonna...

Shit.

Oh fuck.

Everybody, get ready. Calandrino, to the door.

Okay, why are you so strong?

Go ahead, dear Calandrino.

Finally.

Sirisco.

Tindaro.

Everyone.

Hi.

This is the general of the Disciples of Order.

His name is Eric,

which is so funny.

He's... he's from Gaul.

Anyway, I happened to run into him, and I thought,

"Hey, I can help my friends."

All we need, literally, all they're asking for,

is my dowry.

Oh.

So you'll tell us where you hid it?

Right. To be completely honest,

when I was kicked out, I had my dowry with me, so...

What? How?

Not important.

The point is, Licisca took it from me.

If she hands it over now, we will all be fine.

See? Money solves everything.

Licisca?

How's your eye?

- My love. - I can't find Jacopo anywhere.

What?

He'll be fine. He's a beast.

- I'm sorry, is that my dress? - It's mine now.

- She looks amazing. - Thank you.

- You're a phoenix. - All right.

Hmm. Nice, yes?

Yeah, okay.

So, uh, just tell them that they have to forgive me

and let me keep the villa.

Eric, thank you.

Just mention the villa is mine now, and we can say our goodbyes.

I believed Villa Santa to have many defenders.

I believed you to be strong.

I'm ending our bargain, and I'm claiming this villa for my order.

My men will gather the riches that have spoiled your souls,

and then they'll kill you all.

Okay, Eric. Eric. Eric!

- That's not what we agreed to. - No, it isn't.

Unleash hell!

Arriguccio! No!

- No! - Jacopo!

This is my villa, not yours!

- Jacopo, get back! - Wait.

- Get back. You're my best friend. - Come here.

Hey, you're not supposed to have that!

Face me!

Face Medusa's glare!

No!

No!

This cuirass may be a forgery.

- Calandrino! - Jesus!

Hold my wine.

You will die!

Oh God.

What? No applause?

- That was fantastic. - Yes!

That was fantastic.

We did it.

- Yeah! - Oh, we did.

- That was amazing. - Thank you.

Hurrah!

Am I dead?

You have to admit, I...

I did try my honest best to help, didn't I?

What's going on? Ouch.

You slipped her that dowry, didn't you?

Didn't you?

What was I meant to do, just let her starve?

It's her... it's her dowry.

I thought you'd understand that as a rich girl.

She made you kill someone.

Guys, you heard her. She made a deal to save all of our lives.

- She's a smart lady... - She is so deep in your brain.

You will never stop loving her, will you?

Licisca hates me.

You should hate Pampinea. Why don't you hate Pampinea?

You've spent about a month as a servant, and you think you are so changed.

Yet, no.

You only see one side of a person at a time.

No history baked in.

Love has more than one dimension.

Love has long claws.

But I guess that you wouldn't understand anything about that, would you?

Okay, enough of women talking. We need to summit with the enemy.

- No, no, no. - What's left of them.

- Shush. - No, I'm ready.

- Stop it. - I'm battle-ready.

Stop talking.

You are amazing. You're a soldier.

- Stop talking. - Look at us. I'm ready for more.

Later, we should make love.

- Would you stop it? - No, everybody knows now.

I forgot the trumpet.

Attention, mercenaries.

Please listen.

You are all operating out of greed and malice,

but I have good news.

You can unburden yourselves today.

There is no need to fight.

We are all equals on this beautiful planet.

Eric is dead!

I shanked him.

And you shall receive the same treatment if you stay.

Stab. Stab. Stabby. Stabby.

Stabby. Stabby.

- Stab. - Mercenaries!

I, Tindaro,

buy your services with this.

Your first task is to obey every order

from the rightful owner of this villa, Stratilia.

She shall be your queen.

Stratilia, come hither and let them witness your beauty.

Witness her beauty.

Go away.

- I said, go away. - Go away!

- You cannot defeat us. - Yeah!

Kill them!

They're thinking about it.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

I feel great, thanks.

I believe the blade just nicked my lung, so I expect I'll be fine in the morning.

I have two lungs.

Why are you laughing? What the fuck is wrong with you?

I don't...

Come on!

More!

Come on, you bastards!

The battering ram,

an infamous tool of warfare.

Or perhaps they have a giant.

- Nearly there! - Our efforts have been in vain.

Friends,

many military leaders throughout history have been honored to deliver this message

that I am about to deliver to you.

- Victory. - We did it.

- Almost there. - We are all going to die.

No.

I remind you that prayers are rarely effective,

and often, in fact, anger the Fates,

who worked very hard to arrange interesting deaths for people.

Retreat is our only option.

Let us hide downstairs, while they pillage our noble riches,

and eke out what few minutes remain of life.

Together, we courageously flee.

One, two, three!

- Panfilo? - Yes, dear?

- What are you doing? - I wanna stay here and watch it happen.

- Aren't you scared? - Do I look scared?

Am I falling in love with you?

I need a break.

It would never work. I'm married.

- Okay. - Okay.

Stratilia, that way.

- Here, this way. - What?

That way.

This way.

Hurry.

Licisca or Filomena?

Oh my God.

You're small...

like a snake.

Oh, thank you.

My mother could fit her body onto our Annunciation Day platter.

God rest her soul. Filomena!

What?

I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you told me you weren't a servant.

I see it now, of course.

It's actually quite obvious.

You've got a certain beauty, don't you?

Something a servant just... couldn't manage.

Oh.

Like Misia?

Exactly!

You know, we can help each other. Filomena!

Stop!

I have fecal gems.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, stop!

Stop!

Oh thank God. Just who I needed most.

We could have left. We had a chance.

Take comfort in this.

Jacopo is a strapping lad,

and they may hire him as a child soldier, should he be orphaned.

Thanks.

I was the one that thought those hopeless peasants could defend us.

- It was I that led us astray. - We were leaving.

But I turned back to claim the villa for my son.

- What arrogance. - It was not arrogance. It was justice.

Justice. The villa is his.

You can't blame yourself when monsters arrive by chance to steal it.

It infuriates me that you think you have made any mistake at all.

- I failed my son. - No.

You have given him everything.

And love most of all.

He is blessed.

You understand that, Jacopo?

You're blessed.

Hey, here.

Stand up. Take this. Come on, put this on.

Help him put it on.

You're the general now. There you go.

Actually, it looks ridiculous. Take it off.

You don't need it. You're fine without it.

Okay?

Oh.

It's not plague, it's a knife wound.

You can never be sure.

Search the rooms. Gather everything of value.

Kill anyone you meet.

They're sinners.

I'm so relieved to see you, Misia.

I'm so relieved you'll have me see you, viscontessa.

- I was so worried you hated me. - Oh, I could never do that.

So Filomena, huh? She's...

She's pretty.

Yeah, she is.

You're close?

Yeah, I hope so.

Are you okay, viscontessa?

I ate something that isn't agreeing with me.

Go, go, go, go, go.

Ah, he didn't just love bees, he respected them.

Oh, Calandrino was a wonderful man.

That's why I was looking forward to you becoming friends.

You were gonna bring him out of his shell.

Damn these men! God!

They might hear us.

I don't care. I don't care.

Because we are going to figure out a way to beat them right now.

Let's think of some ideas. Ideas.

Come, think, think. Who has some ideas?

- One idea might be that we surrender. - Let's not start with that.

What choice do we have?

We all want to live, in our own funny little way.

It is better to die, Arriguccio, than lick their boots.

No more bootlicking!

Sirisco, we've not survived this long because of pride.

Hmm.

Well, perhaps it's time you gave pride a chance, friend.

All right. Who's got some ideas?

Who's got some ideas? Ideas. Come.

Well, maybe we can lure them.

Oh. We could lure them somewhere. That's good. That's a great start. Yes!

More. Let's keep going. Keep going. Yes.

We pretend to be dead, and then we stab them.

That! Now that's going towards a good place.

Sit, sit, sit. Now, let me see your dead faces.

Everybody, play dead. Play dead. Everybody, play dead. Yes.

Okay. No, no, no. Let's not do that. Bad idea. Bad idea.

We were getting somewhere. We can do this together!

We could pretend to be monsters.

What?

Take a man with you.

What is he doing?

Oh yeah. They're terrified of the plague.

I don't love it myself.

Neifile was my favorite.

She was fun.

Oh, she was great fun.

Then she died. Not so fun anymore.

Is this grief?

Either freedom or insanity.

Either way, it is something

profoundly felt by me.

I feel quite free myself.

Unattached.

Yes. It makes sense.

We're about to die.

Makes you want to lean your chin in for that final punch.

Hmm?

Do you wanna die?

Don't you wanna be free?

What's here for you anyway?

No!

Let go!

Oh yeah, enough with the riches.

- No! - Where are the ladies?

- Was that Filomena? - Sounds like it.

What? Are you expecting her to live?

- I hadn't really thought about it. - Well, don't start now, darling.

Yeah.

- What you got here? - It's a pig.

- Could you help me get down there? - At your service, Padrona.

Though...

you could just leave.

There's no one guarding the door.

You wanna leave this place, right?

Free yourself of her.

Go be a lady.

Or a whore.

Or a street clown.

Or anybody you want.

In the end,

love is burden.

I'm going to save her.

I understand.

When did Panfilo get awesome?

Come in.

Can't you see? There's no point...

I'm the pig!

Yes!

Don't touch my egg!

Don't touch it! Piggy.

Where is the piggy?

Where's the piggy?

One for you. I'm the pig!

Don't touch my egg.

Love is a burden.

One for him and one for him.

Help me!

Help! Help!

Help me!

Help!

Licisca, you saved me again.

Yeah, you dumb bitch.

Love's got long claws.

I think this might indeed be it for me.

Tindaro?

Yeah?

We have been through so much these last days.

You don't love me.

Your love is not required by my love.

You know nothing about me.

- I know you better than most. - Perhaps, but...

I know that you have been given little

and had much taken away.

Is that true?

Yes.

I only ask...

that you let me give you what I can,

what I have.

It isn't much now,

but do me the honor.

- This necklace belonged... - We'll take it.

Great.

Jacopo...

it was nice being your friend.

Although, in my secret heart,

I wished that one day you might come to see me as a father.

Would you actually do that?

Would you... would you think of me as a father?

Yes.

Yes.

Oh my God, I really thought I was gonna go.

How are you supposed to tell when it's your last breath?

We've been in worse scrapes, my lady.

Remember when your winter hat knocked over your father's armoire?

Oh my goodness.

- He was so angry. - So angry.

You're so right, Misia. Together, we can do anything.

Anything.

- Misia? - Mm-hmm?

The way you love me, you...

you love me no matter what I do.

The greatest gift I've ever known.

It is quite nice of me, isn't it?

I will never let you go

as long as I live.

I've come to know that that's the truest truth.

Yes.

Oh, Misia.

Mm-hmm?

Are they coming?

Yes.

Is this it?

Yeah.

I thought you said you wouldn't leave without Misia.

She made her choice. I can't change her.

God, can we please think of an idea that might actually help? Please?

Arriguccio.

Oh, you found a sword. That's helpful. That might be helpful.

You were right.

I... I tried to surrender just now

to... to a mercenary up the hall.

And wouldn't you know it?

I've been murdered.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh no.

Oh, Sirisco, don't blame yourself.

Although, obviously...

No, no, no, no. Please.

Please.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay, here's the plan.

We are gonna pop you in this barrel,

and I'm going to seal it over, and they'll never know you're there.

- Okay? - All right.

- Okay, so watch your feet. - Okay.

Up, up, up, up, up.

I'm going to swear allegiance to the men upstairs.

You know, I'm a natural servant.

Oh, yes, you are.

And I'm gonna pretend to be their servant instead of yours.

And then when all is quiet, in the dead of nighttime,

I'm going to come down here, and I'm gonna pop you out.

And me and you will sneak off home together.

Misia.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, and maybe at that point, you'll bring some food?

As I'm sure I'll get hungry in here.

Absolutely, viscontessa.

- Okay. - Okay.

Okay.

Misia?

What would I do without you?

We'll never know.

Now, why don't you sing a wee song

to help soothe yourself and pass the time?

♪ The tulip and the apple tree ♪

♪ Were peaceful in the meadow ♪

- ♪ When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪ - ♪ When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪

- ♪ There flew a little sparrow ♪ - ♪ There flew a little sparrow ♪

- ♪ The tulip and the apple tree ♪ - ♪...tulip and the ap... ♪

- ♪ Were peaceful in the meadow ♪ - ♪...ful in the meadow ♪

♪ When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪

♪ There flew a little sparrow ♪

What will I do without you?

♪ Were peaceful in the meadow ♪

♪ When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪

♪ There flew a little sparrow ♪

They can stop us from living here and they can stop us from leaving here...

but they can't stop me from burning this place to the ground.

I'm gonna burn this place to the ground.

Who's with me? Who's with me?

No one shall have this villa.

No one but our corpses!

Burn!

Burn!

Burn!

Okay. I'll just leave it right here.

Come!

Oh my God, the cellar's on fire.

Mm-hmm.

Are we having a party?

Hey, burning down this place was my idea!

Well, we can't stay here.

We could take up arms and fight to the death.

I can lead us into battle.

I'm not really up for that.

Besides, you know, each other...

what is actually worth fighting for here?

I think I can get you guys the fuck out of here.

Here you go. Put it down there.

Let's get another lot.

♪ Out on the tar plains The glides are moving ♪

♪ All looking for a new place to drive ♪

♪ You sit beside me, so newly charming ♪

♪ Sweating dew drops glisten Freshing your side ♪

♪ And the sun drips down Bedding heavy behind ♪

♪ The front of your dress All shadowy lined ♪

♪ And the droning engine throbs in time ♪

♪ With your beating heart ♪

Darling...

I need your help.

I can't seem to die without you.

♪ Way down the lane away Living for another day ♪

♪ The aphids swarm up In the drifting haze ♪

♪ Swim seagull in the sky Towards that hollow western isle ♪

♪ My envied lady Holds you fast in her gaze ♪

♪ And the sun drips down Bedding heavy behind ♪

♪ The front of your dress All shadowy lined ♪

♪ And the droning engine... ♪

Hey!

♪ With your beating heart ♪

- Now, now, now! - Go!

Go, go, go!

Hurry! Go! Hurry!

Go!

My lord!

Hurry!

Go, go, go! Hurry!

♪ And watching lovers part, I feel you... ♪

Pestilence!

Pestilence!

Retreat! Pestilence!

- Pestilence! - Brother.

So long, friend.

Pestilence!

- Pestilence! - Pestilence!

Stratilia!

Jacopo.

- Pestilence! - Look after her.

Pestilence!

Pestilence!

Archers!

- Pestilence! - Archers!

Okay then.

♪ Sing, sing... ♪

Jacopo!

I'll save you!

Jacopo! No!

♪ The droning engine throbs in time With your beating heart ♪

♪ And the sun drips down Bedding heavy behind ♪

♪ The front of your dress All shadowy lined ♪

♪ The droning engine throbs in time With your beating heart ♪

♪ Sing, Blue Silver ♪

♪ Sing, sing... ♪

Kill them all!

Come on! Go!

I thought it would burn down.

Well, it is made of stone.

Idiot.

You remind me of your father.

God. I can't believe we lived, huh?

At the same time, I have to believe it, or I'd be dead.

New chapter!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I thought we'd go back to your village. - No, we're gonna find someplace else.

- Should I go with you? - No.

Yeah, okay. Bye-bye.

- Hey, Sirisco. - Hmm?

Don't be sad.

It's like you said, we... we survived.

We did it.

Yeah. We did it.

We did do it.

- We did it. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Okay.

We have all had a... a good cry.

Come on, let's go.

Up you get.

Up you get.

- Up you get, my dove. - No.

Up you get, my dove!

Welcome.

This is mine and Licisca's cave.

What's ours is yours, but, uh, make sure you look out for wicked Vitrucchia.

Who's Vitrucchia?

Oh, she's a night witch.

- Night witch? - Night witch?

Yeah.

Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia The devil cursed your name

Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia The devil cursed your name

Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia The devil cursed your name

Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia The devil cursed your name

Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia The devil cursed your name

- No, no, no. - Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia

The devil cursed your name

Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia The devil cursed your name

- Vitrucchia! - Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia

- The devil cursed your name - Vitrucchia!

The devil cursed your name

Vitrucchia!

Do you think he lived?

Dad?

Yeah.

God, I hope not. He'd be so mad at me.

I think we should find out.

Yeah.

I love you...

in spite of myself.

I love you more,

in spite of nothing.

Can you two shut up?

So then Giannello mounted Peronella as a stallion mounts a mare.

He set to work finishing the task at hand.

Misia!

In the end, Giannello won two prizes that day.

The amorous embrace of the plumber's wife

and a free bathtub like he'd always dreamed.

- Very good. - Oh bravo.

Very good.

Okay, Sirisco, your go.

Ooh. Oh. That's hard to follow.

Tindaro died.

Yeah, he did.

So did Panfilo.

It was really nice of Panfilo.

It's sad to die.

Yes, it is.

You can never do anything about it.

The death part or the sad part?

Both.

You could have an orange.

Ooh.

- There we go. You guys want? - Yes.

- Yeah, what else you got? - Just mainly oranges.

- I'll take an orange. - Big haul.

- No. I'm just not hungry right now. - God.

May I have some of your orange?

Mmm.

All right, Sirisco. Tell us a happy one.

A happy one?

I thought Misia's was quite happy.

Um, let's see...

Uh... Ooh, perhaps a love story?

- Would you like a love story? - Yes.

Ooh, yes.

So some time ago, the villagers of Saluzzo

asked their marquis,

who was a very committed bachelor,

to marry in hopes of producing an heir.

He was not very fond of that idea.

But he agreed under one condition.

That he could choose his wife,

and that the villagers would abide by whatever the outcome.

So he goes to the village and he picks the most beautiful woman,

but she was also the poorest.

- Why? - So...

I haven't got there yet.

Sorry.

♪ The warmth of your love Is like the warmth of the sun ♪

♪ And this will be our year Took a long time to come ♪

♪ Don't let go of my hand Now darkness has gone ♪

♪ And this will be our year Took a long time to come ♪

♪ And I won't forget The way you held me up when I was down ♪

♪ And I won't forget the way you said "Darling I love you" ♪

♪ You gave me faith to go on ♪

♪ Now we're there And we've only just begun ♪

♪ And this will be our year Took a long time to come ♪