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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:14,889 Oh, you seem to be sincere and good. 2 00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:21,104 How strange it is that we meet and now we must part. 3 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,148 That is the way of the world. 4 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,359 May I kiss you, my fair lady? 5 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:36,828 All right, that's it for today. 6 00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:38,705 Good work, everyone. 7 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:41,041 Let's try and be off book by tomorrow. 8 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,292 Yeah! 9 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:45,879 Oliver, wait. 10 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:48,673 Wow. 11 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,675 That was some kiss, huh? 12 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,804 I don't know what she sees in him. 13 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,515 Maybe his mouth tastes good. 14 00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:01,728 Yeah, right. Like raspberry Warheads and cigarettes. 15 00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:03,813 Yeah. 16 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,781 Well, I'll see you tomorrow. 17 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:19,037 Um... okay. 18 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,456 Hey, wait. 19 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,503 I realize that all of this may feel really sudden, 20 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:31,299 but I just want to let you know I'm happy you said "yes" to going out with me. 21 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,926 I like you... 22 00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:35,678 a lot. 23 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:37,388 Thanks. 24 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:39,557 I like you, too. 25 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:42,727 I figure now that we're going out and stuff, 26 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:44,687 maybe we could... 27 00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:47,941 Could what? 28 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,653 I don't know... kiss? 29 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,698 Just to get it out of the way. 30 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,076 No big deal. 31 00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:00,495 Um, yeah. 32 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,164 Cool. Okay. 33 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,834 I'm really nervous. 34 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,975 - Why did you do that? - I don't know. 35 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,058 What do we do? 36 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:26,271 Um, okay, you take the front, and I'll take the back. 37 00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:27,814 Okay? All right. 38 00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:33,403 ♪ Touch it ♪ 39 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,822 ♪ Wanna touch it ♪ 40 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,365 ♪ I wanna touch it ♪ 41 00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:40,034 Run, Forrest, run! 42 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,246 ♪ I wanna touch it ♪ 43 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,416 ♪ Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty Touch it! ♪ 44 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,085 ♪ Kitty on my foot And I want to touch it! ♪ 45 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,296 For lunch today: chicken nuggets. 46 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,590 Hey, Jessica Betts, 47 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:57,302 do you know what part of the chicken the nugget comes from? 48 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:01,431 Uh, we interrupt this broadcast to bring you breaking news. 49 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,308 Here now is Principal Messner. 50 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:06,060 Good morning. Thanks, Jessica. 51 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,395 Good morning. 52 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,025 Thanks, Jessica. Good morning. 53 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:16,738 Due to an incident in the auditorium yesterday after school, 54 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:20,533 the fall production of Uncle Vanya is postponed, indefinitely. 55 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:24,287 It would appear that someone pulled the fire alarm, 56 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:28,499 causing severe water damage, leaving the auditorium unfit for use. 57 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:31,586 And sadly, destroying the beautiful sets, 58 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:34,422 which I know drama club worked so very hard on. 59 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,342 "Hard on." Classic. 60 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:40,386 I'm asking the guilty party to step forward. 61 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:44,849 Otherwise, I will be forced to conduct a thorough investigation. 62 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:49,771 In the meantime, all drama club activities are on hold. 63 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,439 I am so screwed. 64 00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:52,774 I'm dead. 65 00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:54,150 No, don't worry. 66 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:56,194 We'll figure this out. 67 00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:57,570 I'll figure this out. 68 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:58,947 - It isn't. - Yes, it is. 69 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,031 No, it isn't. 70 00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:01,991 Yes, it is. 71 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,414 My stepdad rented it. 72 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,917 It makes Species look like Ferngully. 73 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,085 What does? 74 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:15,922 Showgirls. According to Tyler, Jessie Spano shows her... 75 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,341 things. 76 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:21,678 And her pussy. I mean, she totally does it with the guy from Dune. 77 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,096 Like actual sex! 78 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,806 No, it isn't. 79 00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:26,182 Yes, it is! 80 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,558 No, it isn't! 81 00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:32,355 You haven't seen it. Why would it be NC-17 if they weren't actually doing it? 82 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:35,984 C-can I borrow it? 83 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,404 For research purposes. 84 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,367 Villain! 85 00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,288 Duplicity! 86 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:54,252 A two-headed serpent hath crept into our garden! 87 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,587 The venomous! 88 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:57,922 The wicked! 89 00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,924 The A/V club. 90 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:04,846 I hath looked into the eyes of the devil himself! 91 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:08,933 And now I know his deceitful visage. 92 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,017 Oliver! 93 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,520 What's the problem? 94 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:17,066 Mr. Messner, this butthole pulled the fire alarm! 95 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:20,862 We saw him after school, completely drenched! 96 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,739 - Nab his ass! - Hey! 97 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,282 Language. 98 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,661 And get... get off the table. 99 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:35,793 Luke... 100 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:39,630 ...is that true? 101 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,181 Yeah. 102 00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,058 Ooh. 103 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:51,517 It's true. 104 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,270 It was me. I did it. 105 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,982 The villain admits it. 106 00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:04,322 Tonight, all of drama club will toast to the demise of the wretched A/V club. 107 00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:06,616 The absolutely vulgar club. 108 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:10,161 All right, Oliver. Just knock it off. 109 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,915 Luke, come with me, pal. 110 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,252 Busted, dick-fart! 111 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,336 Hey! 112 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,589 That's a detention. 113 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:23,299 Oh! 114 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:25,384 What? 115 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:27,637 What? 116 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:29,889 Oh! 117 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,405 Hey. 118 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:50,618 I need to clear this up. I am so sorry. I'll go talk to my dad. 119 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:53,871 What are you talking about? Don't be silly. It's taken care of. 120 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,248 Are you in trouble? 121 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,166 Oh, detention for a week. 122 00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,128 And he's calling my mom later. It's whatever. 123 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,258 Why are you doing this for me? 124 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:08,970 It's what boyfriends do. 125 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,942 Okay, well, thanks! See you later. 126 00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:28,281 ♪ It's just one of them days... ♪ 127 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:36,247 ♪ It's just one of them days When I gotta be alone ♪ 128 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:39,083 ♪ It's just one of them days ♪ 129 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,628 ♪ Don't take it personal ♪ 130 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,214 ♪ Just wanna be all alone ♪ 131 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:48,009 ♪ Think I treat you right ♪ 132 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:53,222 ♪ I wanna take some time out To think things through ♪ 133 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,184 ♪ I know it always feels like I'm doing you wrong ♪ 134 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,269 ♪ But I'm so in love with you ♪ 135 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:04,150 ♪ So understand that I'm only in love You're the only one I need ♪ 136 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:09,405 ♪ So have no thought that I want to leave And, baby, trust me, please ♪ 137 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,782 ♪ It's just one of them days ♪ 138 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:42,980 Hey! 139 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,148 Settle down! 140 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:51,280 I'm gonna make your life a living hell, freshman. 141 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,126 Mrs. O'Neil, hi, Ken Messner. 142 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,545 Hi, hi. Sherry's fine. 143 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,463 Won't you come in? Please. 144 00:09:14,762 --> 00:09:17,765 I tend to overdo it with the sugar. 145 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,934 I'm sure it's perfect. Thank you. 146 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:21,978 Will Mr. O'Neil be joining us? 147 00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,480 No, is that a problem? 148 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,898 Oh, no, not at all. 149 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,485 So, uh, Sherry, 150 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:34,240 I want to make sure you understood that what your son confessed to is serious. 151 00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,158 In some situations, 152 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,287 tampering with the fire alarm might be considered a felony. 153 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,372 I'm sorry, a what? 154 00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:44,709 Yeah, but that's why I wanted to have this chat. 155 00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:47,878 To get a sense of whether this behavior is normal, or... 156 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:51,465 Look, I-I don't know what to say, 157 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,468 except that this doesn't sound like Luke. 158 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,847 Notice any changes recently? Anything different? 159 00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:00,391 No. Nothing that makes sense of any of this. 160 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,603 Mr. Messner, I'm raising Luke on my own 161 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:07,023 and with my work, I'm not around as much as I'd like to be, 162 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:11,110 but from where I sit, Luke is a happy, well-adjusted young man. 163 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,823 Or maybe I'm missing something. 164 00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:18,951 I, uh... I didn't realize. 165 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,536 You're a single mother. 166 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,331 Single father. 167 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,584 It's hard, right? 168 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:28,377 Ya think? 169 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:33,341 And at this age, it's like, we speak different languages. 170 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,426 Uh, da bomb? 171 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,220 All that and a bag of chips? 172 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,722 What does that mean? 173 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:43,225 My favorite is, "Oh, snap." 174 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,896 I'm here, I say, snap what? Snap my fingers? 175 00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:47,813 My insanity? 176 00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:51,025 Right? I mean, it's hanging by a thread already, it won't take much. 177 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,652 Thank you. 178 00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,033 Felony. 179 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,994 - God. - Oh, no, uh, I should be clear. 180 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,455 No one's pressing charges. 181 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:09,043 You know, it's just my job to tell you these things. 182 00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:12,463 Also, truth be told, 183 00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:17,635 uh, my intentions today were somewhat twofold. 184 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:23,516 Well, since Luke and my daughter Kate 185 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:26,394 are kinda going out. 186 00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:29,772 I wanted to meet you. Hope you don't mind. I'm just being a dad. 187 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,024 Wait, really? Luke and your daughter? 188 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,403 Wow. 189 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:38,155 Well, that's news to me. I... 190 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,616 I mean, I knew he liked a girl, but... 191 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,953 I must seem like the worst parent on Earth right now. 192 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,122 What? Uh, no. 193 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,707 Please, don't think that. 194 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,960 Trust me. I meet a lot of parents. 195 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:55,339 After a while, you sort of develop a sixth sense for these things. 196 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:58,384 You strike me as a great parent. 197 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,010 Really. 198 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,096 I could tell. 199 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,267 Oh, oh, no. 200 00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:09,769 Uh... 201 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,065 sorry. 202 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,446 Thank you. 203 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,283 Are you okay? 204 00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:24,034 Mm... 205 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,787 Boy, I don't know what's wrong with me. 206 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:31,792 Do you wish there were support groups for single parents? 207 00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,253 I sure do. 208 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:42,970 - I have this meeting, but if you'd like... - Oh. 209 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,848 ...maybe we could have coffee, uh, tomorrow morning. 210 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,142 We could continue this conversation? 211 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:53,063 Maybe we could start a support group of our own. 212 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,735 - Dumb idea. Shouldn't have said anything. - No, no. 213 00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,279 I like that idea. 214 00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:03,532 It's just, I'm on a transatlantic flight tomorrow. 215 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,159 How about tonight? 216 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:08,912 Sure. 217 00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,458 Okay. 218 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:13,833 It... 219 00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,086 It's a date. 220 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,588 Yeah. 221 00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:18,756 Yeah. 222 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:20,925 Yeah, it's that. It's that. It's that. 223 00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:42,154 ♪ I didn't ask They shouldn't have told me ♪ 224 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,574 Scott Wolf is so Mr. Bingley. 225 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:49,537 Leslie, how do you think Mr. Bingley knew he was in love with Jane? 226 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:54,124 Simple. He saw her across the dance floor, and that was that. 227 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,294 But true love can be tricky. 228 00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:01,507 This summer at bible camp, I saw Kyle Monaghan across the prayer circle, 229 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,175 and I just knew. 230 00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,428 We made out, like, all summer. 231 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,430 His tongue was super fat and slippery. 232 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,936 But then on the last day, I walked into confession 233 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:18,148 and I saw him getting a hand job from Leah Kagan! 234 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,693 And she doesn't even go to our camp. 235 00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:25,948 That sucks. 236 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:28,367 Yeah, I was in love with him. 237 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,995 He was just leading me on the entire time. 238 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:32,538 You're so lucky. 239 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,790 Luke's, like, super in love with you. 240 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,544 Is his tongue super slippery? 241 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,547 I bet it is. 242 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,236 Hello? 243 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,947 May I speak to Mr. Lucas O'Neillius, please? 244 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,908 - Speaking. - This is Ed McMahon. 245 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,951 You've just won a million dollars! 246 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:11,869 Who is this? 247 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:13,662 It's Ed McMahon, asshole! 248 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,873 I've got a big-ass check for you. 249 00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:18,667 Just dip it in ketchup and shove it up your butt! 250 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,628 Drama club represent, asshole. 251 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:33,182 I shot another stupid wedding video today. 252 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:36,977 Same speeches, same cake, same chicken dance. 253 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:45,819 You're looking for something to inspire or stimulate around here? 254 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:49,615 Phew, good luck. Movie house, second-run blockbuster bullshit. 255 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,992 The nearest record store, halfway to Portland. 256 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:55,955 The most exotic restaurant in town, it's the freaking Crouton Factory. 257 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,248 - Son? - Shit. 258 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,507 Wanna tell me why you pulled the fire alarm at school? 259 00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:10,260 I didn't... I didn't do it. 260 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,973 Hmm. Was I not just in the principal's office on your behalf? 261 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:19,144 Mom! Mom, seriously, I was there, but I didn't do it. 262 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,397 Okay. Well, why did you say you did? 263 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,273 I can't tell you. 264 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:26,151 Luke, I don't know what this game is that you're playing, 265 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,070 but I am not interested. 266 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,697 Cut the shit. 267 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,450 Fine. 268 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,619 It was my girlfriend. 269 00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:41,000 She pulled the alarm, but I didn't want to get her in trouble, 270 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,002 so I said I pulled the alarm. 271 00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,882 Okay, little man. 272 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,930 Thank you for being honest. 273 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:56,389 You're welcome. 274 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,438 You didn't tell me she said "yes." 275 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,649 Principal's daughter, huh? 276 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,152 Bold. 277 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:11,780 I know. 278 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:16,869 Now, in the future, I would like to hear about those things from you. 279 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:18,704 We're a team, right? 280 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:21,874 Yeah, we're a team. 281 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,466 Oh. 282 00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:34,386 Hello. 283 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,597 Hi. Is Luke there? 284 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,223 Uh, sure, he's right here. 285 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,350 - I think it's her. - Oh! 286 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,021 Mom, give it to me. 287 00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:46,857 I'll be out tonight. There's a Tombstone in the freezer. 288 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,192 That's morbid. 289 00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,779 Hey, how's it going? 290 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,697 It's going sexy. 291 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,699 Talk dirty to me, big boy. 292 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,367 Can you please stop calling me? 293 00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:00,162 Oh, God, you're making me so wet! 294 00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:02,623 Stop calling. What if there's an emergency? 295 00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:07,002 There is an emergency, in my panties. Oh, Luke! 296 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,921 I am your father. 297 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,052 Ugh. 298 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:26,688 ♪ I saw a falling star ♪ 299 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:31,401 ♪ Although I tried to reach that far ♪ 300 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:38,158 ♪ It always seemed a million miles away ♪ 301 00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:43,664 ♪ Down by the water's edge ♪ 302 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:48,794 ♪ Collecting shells And holding your hand ♪ 303 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:55,634 ♪ I still remember walking in the sand ♪ 304 00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:01,306 ♪ 'Cause I remember days ♪ 305 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:07,771 Gentlemen! Feast your eyes on this! 306 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:09,982 What is it? 307 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,817 Twelve-layer dip. 308 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:16,196 Beans, sour cream, Pace, olives, pickles, 309 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,824 cheddar, chicken nuggets. 310 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,117 You're welcome. 311 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,704 Honey, Apple Jacks, sliced apple and a second layer of cheddar. 312 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,080 That's 11 layers. 313 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,749 Oh, the top layer's oxygen. 314 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,128 Butter my bunghole. 315 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:33,589 Should I be worried Kate and I haven't kissed? 316 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:37,843 Dude, it's been two days. Relax, you're golden. 317 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:38,802 McQuaid? 318 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:42,306 Well, the average high school relationship lasts for 26 days. 319 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,183 For every year-long relationship, 320 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:47,144 there are an equal number that last less than five minutes. 321 00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:48,437 What does that mean? 322 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:52,149 Kiss or no kiss, your relationship was doomed before it even began. 323 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,485 - Thanks. - Don't listen to him. 324 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,780 I bet next time you see her, it's gonna be tongue city. 325 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,991 Population Luke. 326 00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:08,790 Hi, what are you doing here? 327 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,294 I tried calling, but it was busy. 328 00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:17,174 Oh, uh, this is... this is awesome. 329 00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:20,677 I mean, this will be like a normal thing now. 330 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,347 Do... Do you want to come in? 331 00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:26,058 What? No. I just came to tell you something. 332 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,517 Tell him what? 333 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,895 Did she bring a weird snack? 334 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:34,691 She can't... She can't come in without a weird snack. I'm not flexible on this. 335 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,277 Technically, it's edible. 336 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:39,613 Mm. 337 00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:42,658 Mm. 338 00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,534 Tastes like candle. 339 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:45,661 Your phone's off the hook. 340 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,001 O'Neil residence? 341 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,379 Listen to me, you little jizz mop, 342 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,757 don't you ever take the phone off the hook, ever. 343 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,927 Luke, um, I-I think it's for you. 344 00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:04,513 Who is it? 345 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,307 May I ask who's calling? 346 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:08,976 The Grim Reaper. 347 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:11,144 Uh, th-the Grim Reaper. 348 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,147 It's probably drama club. They've been prank calling all day. 349 00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:18,068 We're coming for you, Tyler, and Luke and what's the kid's name, 350 00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:19,069 with the glasses? 351 00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:21,422 - Oh, yeah, McQuaid. - Don't tell them my name, you idiot! 352 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,781 McQuaid, Tyler, Luke. 353 00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:26,827 Monday morning, you are all dead. We're gonna stab you in the eye. 354 00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:28,662 And then we're gonna stab you in the dick. 355 00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:30,539 - Prepare to die. - Hang up. Hang up. 356 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,628 This is exactly what I predicted would happen if you asked Kate out. 357 00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:39,423 - Leave her out of this. - They're gonna kill us. 358 00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,675 - What'd they say? - We need to transfer schools. 359 00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:45,220 - I can't get stabbed in the dick! - You think they're for real? 360 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:48,390 War isn't glorious, and there's no shame in running away. 361 00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:50,350 I haven't even lost my virginity. 362 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:53,312 How am I supposed to lose my virginity with no dick? 363 00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:55,522 - What do we do? - I don't know. 364 00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:59,276 Build a bunker, stock up on supplies, change our names. 365 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,570 Sick. I'm changing mine to Vince. 366 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,613 Who gives a shit? We're doomed! 367 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,115 Everybody, stop talking! 368 00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:06,741 I have a plan. 369 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,580 Does your mom have any alcohol? 370 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,966 This is the worst idea. How do we even know they're here? 371 00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,217 They're here. 372 00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:26,470 Do you want to put a stop to this or not? 373 00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:28,096 Glad I prepared. 374 00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:30,807 What is that? 375 00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:31,975 Casserole dish. 376 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:34,269 No dick-stabbing for me! 377 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,730 ♪ The roof is on fire ♪ 378 00:22:39,649 --> 00:22:41,318 Luke, just be yourself. 379 00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:43,779 Charm them, you know you can do that. 380 00:22:51,328 --> 00:22:52,662 Oh, my God. 381 00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:04,800 And I was like: Luke, I am your father. 382 00:23:04,883 --> 00:23:07,969 He was so confused, it was so funny. 383 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,225 Star Wars. 384 00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:18,021 Prank calls my ass. We gotta kill that kid, Oliver. For real. 385 00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:23,401 I mean, maybe we can still do the play, right? Maybe? 386 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,821 The play's over. It's a sign. 387 00:23:25,904 --> 00:23:29,574 Then what? We're gonna have to take drama off our college resumes? 388 00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:31,118 Oh, my God. 389 00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,203 Oh, my God! 390 00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:36,832 "F" resumes, all right? "F" college, too. 391 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:40,919 I'm getting the hell out of here as soon as I graduate, 392 00:23:41,002 --> 00:23:42,796 if not sooner. 393 00:23:43,296 --> 00:23:44,464 New York city, baby. 394 00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:46,675 Now that the show is canceled, 395 00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:50,554 what the hell am I doing wasting my time in Boring? 396 00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:52,472 Screw it, I'll leave tomorrow. 397 00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:55,684 - What about us? - What about us? 398 00:23:56,434 --> 00:23:59,437 I have another year left here. You're just gonna leave me? 399 00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:02,107 Pretty much. 400 00:24:02,899 --> 00:24:04,442 How are we gonna kill him? 401 00:24:04,901 --> 00:24:07,529 My cousin's a hitman. Just saying. 402 00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:11,074 - That's our cue to leave. - You're right. 403 00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:12,659 No. Luke, you've got this. 404 00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:15,036 You're so money, and you don't even know it. 405 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,451 ♪ Burn, mother... ♪ 406 00:24:54,534 --> 00:24:55,619 ♪ Burn ♪ 407 00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:14,221 ♪ Everybody, here we go ♪ 408 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:16,473 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 409 00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:18,975 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Throw your hands in the air ♪ 410 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:21,478 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 411 00:25:21,561 --> 00:25:24,064 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Wave 'em like you don't care ♪ 412 00:25:24,147 --> 00:25:26,399 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 413 00:25:26,483 --> 00:25:28,777 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Everybody say ho ♪ 414 00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:31,363 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 415 00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:33,740 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Everybody, here we go ♪ 416 00:25:33,823 --> 00:25:36,243 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 417 00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:38,745 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Throw your hands in the air ♪ 418 00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:41,248 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 419 00:25:41,331 --> 00:25:43,833 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Wave 'em like you don't care ♪ 420 00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:46,169 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 421 00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:48,546 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Everybody say ho ♪ 422 00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:51,132 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 423 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:53,760 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Everybody, here we go ♪ 424 00:25:53,843 --> 00:25:56,263 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 425 00:25:56,346 --> 00:25:58,765 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Throw your hands in the air ♪ 426 00:25:58,848 --> 00:26:01,268 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 427 00:26:01,351 --> 00:26:03,687 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Wave 'em like you don't care ♪ 428 00:26:03,770 --> 00:26:06,189 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 429 00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:08,566 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Everybody say ho ♪ 430 00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:11,152 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 431 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,530 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Everybody, here we go ♪ 432 00:26:13,613 --> 00:26:15,991 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 433 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:18,493 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Throw your hands in the air ♪ 434 00:26:18,576 --> 00:26:20,745 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Come on, party people ♪ 435 00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:23,999 - ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ - ♪ Wave 'em like you don't care ♪ 31446

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