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[MUSIC]
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[MUSIC]
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[MUSIC].
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[MUSIC].
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[MUSIC]
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>> Walter, Walter,
you're not listening to me.
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No, no, we need the book.
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The book you're supposed
to have been writing.
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You know, the one about vigilante
hookers, our big Christmas book.
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Now, where the hell is it, Walter?
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What?
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What?
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You found what?
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In the beginning was the word.
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I really don't think
Jesus is going to
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mind if you write
one more lousy book.
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Yeah, yeah, well bless you two.
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Toby.
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Walter's gone insane.
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Here, call Dibby's office right now.
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Cancel my ten o'clock with him.
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Come on.
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The word "please" is
difficult for you, isn't it?
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Is it something that happened as a child?
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Toby.
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It's too late.
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He's on his way down.
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Shit.
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Hey, this is your lucky day.
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It just so happens
that I am writing a book.
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Lint, the skin on pudding,
gum diseased, Jane Seymour.
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What is this?
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"7,000 Things I Hate" by Toby Paddleby.
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Hell of a stocking stuffer, huh?
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This woman wouldn't know a
major emotion if she tripped over it.
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I don't know that it quite
serves the needs of the
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holiday market, but that's
a very interesting idea.
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And I think you should
keep working on that.
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You bet.
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Thanks.
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You've been very condescending.
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All right, Dibby.
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It's... consider this.
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Everybody comes out with
a big Christmas book, right?
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I mean, the market's flooded.
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So I say... Now stick with me
here, because this is kind of radical.
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I say we skip Christmas all
together and go straight to Easter.
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Now, granted Easter's not
traditionally a gift-giving holiday.
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You don't have a book, do you, Marty?
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Not at the moment, no.
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But... good. Good?
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Yeah. A little idea of my own.
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I was hoping you'd be
free to bring it to Blossom.
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You bet. Absolutely.
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Shoot.
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I've always felt that to have a really
big holiday bestseller, you've got to
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do something universal.
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Something that touches everyone.
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Are you following me here?
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Universal touches everyone.
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Yeah, that's why I want
to do a book about... death.
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Death?
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I think I put that right on top
of my Christmas shopping list.
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Dream with me, Marty.
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I'm dreaming.
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And we find someone who's dying.
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Someone who's got
something terminal, like
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cancer, Lou Gehrig's
disease, whatever.
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And we get them to write a memoir
of their last days on the planet.
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See? Sort of a... countdown to death.
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Come on.
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Come on. Tell me you're kidding.
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Kidding?
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Oh, they'll be weeping
around the Christmas tree.
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Oh, the guy's to be dead by Christmas?
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Yeah, ideally, yeah.
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Well, there's your title.
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I'll be dead by Christmas.
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And that's good thinking, Marty.
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I knew you'd catch the breeze of this.
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Ah, see, what would
be clever... right...
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is dying... of...
sprained ankle...
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Acromegalia cramps. Acromegalia.
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AIDS?
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No.
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No, givey.
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Not AIDS.
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Why not? It's hot. It's now.
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It's got sex. It's got drugs.
Everyone's getting it.
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If I didn't hate you so
thoroughly, I'd pity you.
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You and all the other Nazis.
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Givey.
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No, I'm sure you mean well.
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No, but this is the sickest fucking
thing I've heard in my entire life.
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Right.
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Very well.
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Just get Buddy to do it.
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Buddy? I mean, that's even worse.
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I mean, Buddy doesn't
even do books, you know?
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He does sports calendars. I mean, come on.
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Well, you see, that's why
I came to you first, Marty.
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You're the most sensitive man I know.
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Well... You're almost a woman.
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Hey.
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Right. Now you've convinced
me you're the only one for the job.
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Unless you've got a better
idea for a Christmas book.
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Ah.
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Ho, ho, ho, ho.
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Merry Christmas, little kitties.
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(
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It's open!
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I can't believe you're so disgusting.
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Hello?
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It's not so bad.
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It is so bad, yes.
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It's not so bad, no.
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No pipes are bad. Get good pipes.
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Am I making too much of this?
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I mean, how do you feel about
inanimate objects screaming in your home?
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I imagine I'd find it disturbing, yes.
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Thank you.
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Still waiting for the pot. I talked to God.
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No, no, I've been waiting for eight months.
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I won't give you any more.
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I talked to God.
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Get a real plumber.
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I get him an exorcist.
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God, just fix it.
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We're actually very close.
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Peter Brewer?
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Unfortunately.
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I'm Martin Tupper.
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Yeah.
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So, you were incredibly vague on the phone.
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What's this about?
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This.
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Well, you were recommended
to me by your agent.
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Really?
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You spoke to Robert?
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Yeah.
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Huh.
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Well, say hello for me
next time you talk to him.
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Asshole hasn't returned
my calls in three months.
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[chuckles]
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Anyway.
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I, uh... I'm a very
big fan of your work.
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My work.
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Tell me what of my work you actually liked.
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Well, I thought Thunder
Ranch was a terrific book.
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Oh, yeah.
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Uh, I wrote that in a weekend.
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At the beach.
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I had house guests
writing different chapters.
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It was sort of a party game.
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Yeah, well, you know what I mean.
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It wasn't Proust, but... But you
thought it was terrific. That's great.
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I've got 50 pages of
a new one just like it.
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And I mean, just like it.
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Actually, we were thinking
of a different kind of book.
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Not a Western?
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No, no.
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Definitely not a Western.
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Come on, say it.
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Let's get this thing out of the open.
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Say it.
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Do you think I could have some water?
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Please.
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Sure, sure.
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So how far from Western
are we talking here?
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I can do Bad Jackie Collins.
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Or second-rate Sidney Sheldon.
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Well, this would be more nonfiction.
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You know, sort of autobiographical.
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Mm-hmm.
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Well, there's no turning back now.
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We're interested in
doing a book about... This.
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About your situation.
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My situation.
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What?
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That I'm one of six children?
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That I play the harmonica?
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That I have a screaming toilet?
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This would be your medical situation.
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My former agent had
no right telling you that.
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No, no, probably not.
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But, um... See, this would
be sort of a journal, you know?
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I mean, all your thoughts
and your feelings...
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And my primary
qualification here would
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be that my T-cell
count was below 200?
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No, no, no.
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I wouldn't put it that way. Exactly.
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Uh, how would you put it?
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Exactly.
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I think if done well, this book
could be very informative.
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Sort of a how-to book.
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How to make your relatives uncomfortable.
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How to watch old friends die.
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I'm sorry.
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This was a terrible idea, and,
uh... I'm sorry for taking up your time.
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I'll do the book.
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You will?
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It's expensive being sick.
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Oh, and by the way, if you want
water next time, you might want to bring
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your own glass.
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How can you be so ignorant?
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Well, it's a little easy.
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Earwax. Cheese with things in it.
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00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:57,000
Uruguay.
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00:09:57,001 --> 00:09:59,000
Uruguay.
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How can you hate Uruguay?
I mean, you'd have even been to Uruguay.
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00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:05,000
I don't know. There's just
something about it that pisses me off.
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00:10:05,001 --> 00:10:07,000
So how's your book coming?
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00:10:07,001 --> 00:10:08,000
Good. Good.
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00:10:08,001 --> 00:10:10,000
Peter and I are starting this afternoon.
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00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:15,000
Oh, yeah? And you don't feel like...
What's a word worse than vulture?
216
00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:18,000
No. No, I don't feel that way at all.
217
00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:20,000
Peter agreed to it, and
let me tell you something.
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00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:23,000
This book is going to be very powerful
because it's going to be done very,
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00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:25,000
very sensitively.
220
00:10:25,001 --> 00:10:28,000
Marty, got a great idea
for your dead guy book.
221
00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:31,000
We give away a condom with every copy.
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Very sensitive.
223
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:35,000
Yeah, I got us a deal on
a shipment from Korea.
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00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,989
I don't know if they
work or not, but,
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00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,000
hey, we're selling
books, not condoms.
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00:10:39,001 --> 00:10:41,000
The sooner you hang them,
the cleaner the world will be.
227
00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:44,000
Why don't we wait till there's actually
a book before we decide how we're
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00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:45,000
going to, you know, promote it?
229
00:10:45,001 --> 00:10:47,000
Give it some thought, though, won't you?
230
00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:48,449
Yeah, the last
thing I need is to get
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00:10:48,461 --> 00:10:50,000
stuck with a boatload
of leaky rubbers.
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00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:54,000
Hi. Martin? Peter? Hi. I'm Peter Brewer.
233
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,000
Hi. Pleased to meet you. Toby Petalby.
234
00:10:56,001 --> 00:11:00,000
My assistant. And this is our publisher.
Give me a fist, Peter. Hi.
235
00:11:00,001 --> 00:11:04,000
We are so excited about your book.
236
00:11:04,001 --> 00:11:06,000
Are we?
237
00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:08,000
Uh...
238
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,000
I'm glad we could all meet like this.
239
00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:14,000
Peter, we're right in here.
240
00:11:14,001 --> 00:11:17,000
Marty, Marty.
241
00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:20,000
He seems like a nice fella.
242
00:11:20,001 --> 00:11:23,000
He looks a bit robust, doesn't he?
243
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:25,000
Are you sure he's sick?
244
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:27,000
I'm sure.
245
00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:30,000
That's otherwise the law
for beyond us, wouldn't it?
246
00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:32,000
Yes, sir.
247
00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:34,000
I've got work to do.
248
00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:36,000
Okay.
249
00:11:36,001 --> 00:11:40,000
Okay.
250
00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:46,000
Okay. I thought we could start
by talking about a prologue, right?
251
00:11:46,001 --> 00:11:54,000
Where you discussed how you got
the... You know, how you contracted the...
252
00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:56,000
The thing I contracted.
253
00:11:56,001 --> 00:11:58,000
Right. Yeah, right.
254
00:11:58,001 --> 00:12:03,000
Well, I believe I contracted the thing
from a Haitian hemophiliac dentist
255
00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:07,000
who got a bad blood
transfusion from an IV drug user.
256
00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:09,000
All right.
257
00:12:09,001 --> 00:12:11,000
Or maybe I just fucked some guy who had it.
258
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:12,000
Ah!
259
00:12:12,001 --> 00:12:15,000
But that's just a maybe. I mean, if
you'd rather, we can go with the Haitian
260
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,000
dentist thing.
261
00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:20,000
Okay. Uh... Look.
262
00:12:20,001 --> 00:12:25,000
Why don't we just hold off on a prologue?
263
00:12:25,001 --> 00:12:30,000
And, uh... Would you feel more
comfortable if we did this over a drink?
264
00:12:30,001 --> 00:12:32,000
Let's go.
265
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,000
[♪♪♪]
266
00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:44,000
Oh, yeah? I feel much more comfortable now.
Thank you.
267
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:46,000
You'll get yours too.
268
00:12:46,001 --> 00:12:49,000
Tonight, we return to the gay nineties.
269
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:50,000
Hey, Howard.
270
00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:51,000
Peter.
271
00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:53,000
I'll have a club soda.
272
00:12:53,001 --> 00:12:54,000
Just a beer.
273
00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:56,000
And we're gonna need
another bowl of peanuts.
274
00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:59,000
I don't think my friend will eat from mine.
275
00:12:59,001 --> 00:13:00,000
That's fine.
276
00:13:00,001 --> 00:13:01,000
You stopped.
277
00:13:01,001 --> 00:13:03,013
Why don't you give me
a break? Why do you
278
00:13:03,025 --> 00:13:05,000
have to make everything
so goddamn hard?
279
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,000
You came to me.
280
00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:09,000
You wanted to know about my life.
Well, welcome to my life.
281
00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:11,000
And this is the fun part.
282
00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:15,000
Later on, we'll get to the night sweats
and the vomiting and the occasional
283
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:15,000
incontinence.
284
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:17,000
I can't talk to you.
285
00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:18,000
This is hard for you.
286
00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:22,000
You asked me to write my own
fucking obituary and this is hard for you?
287
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,000
Then don't do the book.
288
00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:26,000
I wanna do the book. I have to do the book.
289
00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:28,000
Yeah, so? So? What's your fucking problem?
290
00:13:28,001 --> 00:13:30,000
What if I can't do it?
291
00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:32,000
This isn't Thunder Ranch or Hoofs of Fury.
292
00:13:32,001 --> 00:13:34,000
This is important.
293
00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:37,000
And if I fuck up, I don't
get another chance.
294
00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:44,000
Well, then, you know, don't fuck up.
295
00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:46,000
That's it?
296
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:49,000
That's your sage editorial advice?
Don't fuck up.
297
00:13:49,001 --> 00:13:53,000
It's your book.
298
00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:56,000
I'll do whatever I can to help you.
299
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,000
We're doomed.
300
00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:01,000
We're doomed.
301
00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:03,000
You should pull.
302
00:14:03,001 --> 00:14:05,000
Not since I was eight. Now. Good.
303
00:14:05,001 --> 00:14:07,000
A dollar a ball.
304
00:14:07,001 --> 00:14:12,000
The least you can do is give it a try.
305
00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:14,000
All right.
306
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:23,000
Martin! You got it, though!
307
00:14:23,001 --> 00:14:27,000
I'm up to 4,356 things
and I'm totally blocked.
308
00:14:27,001 --> 00:14:29,000
I can't think of anything. Cut as cheese.
309
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:32,000
I don't like it, but I don't hate it.
310
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:35,000
Hello, Terby. My little fire plug.
311
00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:37,000
I'm back in business.
312
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:40,000
Gibby, Gibby. Did you read Peter's pages?
313
00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:41,000
Aren't they terrific?
314
00:14:41,001 --> 00:14:45,000
Yeah, well, the writing isn't
bad, but Martin, it's so depressing.
315
00:14:45,001 --> 00:14:48,000
Gibby, it's about a man
with a terminal illness.
316
00:14:48,001 --> 00:14:50,000
Yeah, well, that doesn't mean
it has to be so sad, does it?
317
00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:52,000
Can't you goose it up a little bit?
318
00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:53,000
Goose it up?
319
00:14:53,001 --> 00:14:55,000
Yeah, pull up the
heartstrings a little more.
320
00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:57,000
That little Ryan White, he was adorable.
321
00:14:57,001 --> 00:15:01,000
And the woman with the dentist, she
was... A woman? Work with me, Marty.
322
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:05,000
Now, what if this Peter fellow has
a friend who's a baseball player?
323
00:15:05,001 --> 00:15:08,000
And right before he dies, the
friend wins the big game for him.
324
00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:11,000
Gibby, he doesn't have a
friend who's a baseball player.
325
00:15:11,001 --> 00:15:13,000
All right. All right.
326
00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:14,807
What if he adopts
a young child and
327
00:15:14,819 --> 00:15:17,000
teaches him the true
meaning of Christmas?
328
00:15:17,001 --> 00:15:20,000
Do you know how many ways I could kill you?
329
00:15:20,001 --> 00:15:23,000
No. No, Gibby, no.
You wanted the story of a man's life.
330
00:15:23,001 --> 00:15:26,000
Well, this is the story of a man's
life, and it's poignant, it's compelling,
331
00:15:26,001 --> 00:15:28,000
and it's the book that you bought.
332
00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:31,000
Temper, Marty.
Don't get your nuts in a knot.
333
00:15:31,001 --> 00:15:33,000
It's just a suggestion.
334
00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:39,000
Maybe he gets a big yellow dog.
335
00:15:39,001 --> 00:15:40,000
Now, look.
336
00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:45,000
Maybe not.
337
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000
( music playing )
338
00:15:48,001 --> 00:16:09,000
Is it too angry?
339
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:11,000
It's very angry.
340
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:14,000
But it's funny, right?
I can make it funnier.
341
00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:17,000
Okay, I'm gonna be
totally honest with you now.
342
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:20,000
It's perfect.
343
00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:22,000
Really?
344
00:16:22,001 --> 00:16:24,000
I wouldn't change a thing.
345
00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:27,000
This is very disconcerting.
346
00:16:27,001 --> 00:16:29,000
I've never written anything
that I've actually liked.
347
00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:32,000
It's making it very hard to
maintain a low self-image.
348
00:16:32,001 --> 00:16:33,000
Sorry.
349
00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:37,000
Thanks.
350
00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:39,000
Here we go.
351
00:16:39,001 --> 00:16:40,000
Hmm?
352
00:16:40,001 --> 00:16:49,000
I bet I would have made
a really great old person.
353
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:51,000
Hmm.
354
00:16:51,001 --> 00:16:53,000
Are you expecting someone?
355
00:16:53,001 --> 00:16:55,000
Hello?
356
00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:56,000
It's me, darling.
357
00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:58,000
Shh. It's my mother.
358
00:16:58,001 --> 00:17:01,000
Come on in.
359
00:17:01,001 --> 00:17:04,000
Do you have a mother, Martin?
360
00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:06,000
Oh, yeah.
361
00:17:06,001 --> 00:17:08,000
Then I don't need to explain.
362
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,000
Oh, darling.
363
00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:15,000
I was in the city, visiting
your sister and the baby,
364
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:17,000
who still runs from me, by the way.
365
00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:20,000
Although Kathy swears she doesn't know why,
366
00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:23,000
and I thought I would just come
by and bring up a few things.
367
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,000
Oh, you're not alone.
368
00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:27,000
Mother, this is Martin Tupper.
369
00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:29,000
Martin, this is my mother, Kitty Brewer.
370
00:17:29,001 --> 00:17:31,000
Hello, Martin Tupper.
371
00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:32,000
It's nice to meet you.
372
00:17:32,001 --> 00:17:34,000
So, what are the few things?
373
00:17:34,001 --> 00:17:39,000
Oh, cereal, apples, lasagna,
macaroni, and cheese, broccoli,
374
00:17:39,001 --> 00:17:41,000
Turkey, pot pie, chicken, pot pie.
375
00:17:41,001 --> 00:17:44,000
Mother, you know I'm
not eating meat anymore.
376
00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:47,000
Darling, chicken is not meat.
Chicken is chicken.
377
00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:50,000
There's no room in the freezer.
378
00:17:50,001 --> 00:17:53,000
Then you'll just have to
eat more to make room.
379
00:17:53,001 --> 00:17:54,000
You need your strength.
380
00:17:54,001 --> 00:17:58,000
If you want to hit her with a
lamp, Martin, be my guest.
381
00:17:58,001 --> 00:18:02,000
So...
382
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,000
How long have you been seeing Peter?
383
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:09,000
Seeing?
384
00:18:09,001 --> 00:18:11,000
Oh, Martin, dear, it's all right.
385
00:18:11,001 --> 00:18:15,000
You don't have to pretend.
I know all about Peter.
386
00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:18,000
We talk. It's just fine.
387
00:18:18,001 --> 00:18:20,000
No, really. We're just working on others.
388
00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:21,000
That's right, Martin.
389
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:25,000
We don't need to keep
our love a secret from her.
390
00:18:25,001 --> 00:18:28,000
Alice, what's going on with
that funny little head of yours?
391
00:18:28,001 --> 00:18:29,000
We don't?
392
00:18:29,001 --> 00:18:30,000
No.
393
00:18:30,001 --> 00:18:33,000
We have nothing to be ashamed of.
394
00:18:33,001 --> 00:18:35,000
That's true. We don't.
395
00:18:35,001 --> 00:18:38,000
Mrs. Brewer.
396
00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:40,000
Or should I call you Mom?
397
00:18:40,001 --> 00:18:43,000
Peter talks about you all the time.
398
00:18:43,001 --> 00:18:44,000
Oh, really?
399
00:18:44,001 --> 00:18:47,000
Oh, God. Just the other day, he was
saying how much he wishes he could spend
400
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,000
more time with you.
401
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,000
Isn't that right, hon?
402
00:18:49,001 --> 00:18:51,000
Of course.
403
00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:54,000
Can I tell her?
404
00:18:54,001 --> 00:18:56,000
Tell her what?
405
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:57,000
Peter wants to take you on a cruise.
406
00:18:57,001 --> 00:18:59,000
A cruise? Really?
407
00:18:59,001 --> 00:19:02,000
Ten days. Just the two of you.
408
00:19:02,001 --> 00:19:04,000
Oh, Peter, I would love that.
409
00:19:04,001 --> 00:19:08,000
Well, we... Just
one of my little jokes.
410
00:19:08,001 --> 00:19:11,000
Well, of course, it's my treat.
411
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:13,000
Oh, I'll call my travel
agent in the morning.
412
00:19:13,001 --> 00:19:17,000
Oh, she's marvelous.
We can do the Caribbean or Mexico.
413
00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:19,000
Ooh, that sounds wonderful.
414
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:22,000
I'll be right back.
I've just got to go hurl myself.
415
00:19:22,001 --> 00:19:24,000
Off the fire escape.
416
00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:28,000
Oh, Martin, dear, I'm
so glad he's found you.
417
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,000
I'm glad he's found someone.
418
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:32,000
Oh, well, yeah.
419
00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:33,000
Do me a favor.
420
00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:35,000
Sure, sure.
421
00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:37,000
Take good care of him.
422
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:41,000
Promise me.
423
00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:44,000
I... I promise.
424
00:19:44,001 --> 00:19:56,000
Howdy!
425
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,000
Hey.
426
00:19:58,001 --> 00:20:01,000
Oh, good for you.
427
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:04,000
King Cobra!
428
00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:07,000
Thanks.
429
00:20:07,001 --> 00:20:09,000
Give me a listen.
Have you read Peter's latest pages?
430
00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:10,000
Yeah.
431
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:12,000
What did you think of that
scene at the Russian Tea Room?
432
00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:14,000
I got excited.
433
00:20:14,001 --> 00:20:17,000
This is one of the most exciting
books I've ever worked on, you know.
434
00:20:17,001 --> 00:20:19,000
Well, it's about to get
more exciting, Marty.
435
00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:22,000
What would you say if I told you
we were getting rid of this Peterfella
436
00:20:22,001 --> 00:20:24,000
and doing the book with Lucas Hill?
437
00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:25,000
What?
438
00:20:25,001 --> 00:20:27,000
Yeah, watch the boots, Marty.
Watch the boots.
439
00:20:27,001 --> 00:20:29,000
What are you talking about?
440
00:20:29,001 --> 00:20:32,000
I mean, Lucas Hill, the quarterback?
441
00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:34,000
Yeah, I found out through a friend
of mine in the medical profession
442
00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:37,000
that Mr. Hill is positive
with this HIV thing.
443
00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:40,000
Though I scooped the boys at
Random House and got us the book.
444
00:20:40,001 --> 00:20:44,000
We can't just drop Peter like this.
445
00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:46,000
You know, this book is important.
446
00:20:46,001 --> 00:20:48,000
I don't care if he's
Oscar-fucking-wild, Marty.
447
00:20:48,001 --> 00:20:53,000
You can't seriously expect us to
publish the story of some pillow-biter
448
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:55,000
from the West Village
rather than Lucas Hills.
449
00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:56,000
Why not?
450
00:20:56,001 --> 00:20:59,000
Oh, don't be dense, Marty.
My guy does sneaker commercials.
451
00:20:59,001 --> 00:21:02,000
He sleeps with women. He's a national hero.
452
00:21:02,001 --> 00:21:03,000
This is a tragedy.
453
00:21:03,001 --> 00:21:05,000
And with my guy, it's not a tragedy?
454
00:21:05,001 --> 00:21:07,000
Well, no one cares about your guy, Marty.
455
00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:09,000
I care about my guy.
456
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:13,000
I suppose at this point we should once
again explore this employer-employee
457
00:21:13,001 --> 00:21:14,000
relationship.
458
00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:16,000
We're going with my guy.
459
00:21:16,001 --> 00:21:21,000
You're a pig, Gebby.
460
00:21:21,001 --> 00:21:24,000
Don't forget to wash your hands, Marty.
Hygiene is everything.
461
00:21:24,001 --> 00:21:28,000
Hitler has ordered you.
462
00:21:28,001 --> 00:21:41,000
Excuse me.
463
00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:43,000
Sorry. Is Peter here?
464
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:46,000
No. Mr. Peter in hospital.
465
00:21:46,001 --> 00:21:48,000
Hospital?
466
00:21:48,001 --> 00:21:51,000
You tell him. Toilet light. Shh.
467
00:21:51,001 --> 00:22:01,000
Peter?
468
00:22:01,001 --> 00:22:15,000
Mmm.
469
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:17,000
Nope. Not dead yet.
470
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000
I can see that.
471
00:22:20,001 --> 00:22:23,000
Is it the pneumonia again?
472
00:22:23,001 --> 00:22:26,000
Yeah, but I look good.
473
00:22:26,001 --> 00:22:28,000
And that's what counts.
474
00:22:28,001 --> 00:22:32,000
Mmm. Thank you.
475
00:22:32,001 --> 00:22:37,000
How do you feel?
476
00:22:37,001 --> 00:22:38,000
Should've.
477
00:22:38,001 --> 00:22:41,000
You're the worst writer's cramp.
478
00:22:41,001 --> 00:22:43,000
Oh, here.
479
00:22:43,001 --> 00:22:45,000
Good luck reading my writing.
480
00:22:45,001 --> 00:22:47,000
My father was a doctor.
481
00:22:47,001 --> 00:22:52,000
Peter, look at you.
482
00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:54,000
Why don't you just forget
about the book for right now?
483
00:22:54,001 --> 00:22:57,000
Okay. You need to rest.
484
00:22:57,001 --> 00:22:59,000
I need to write.
485
00:22:59,001 --> 00:23:03,000
Okay.
486
00:23:03,001 --> 00:23:06,000
I have to tell you something.
487
00:23:06,001 --> 00:23:08,000
What?
488
00:23:08,001 --> 00:23:11,000
Gebby.
489
00:23:11,001 --> 00:23:13,000
You gotta do it.
490
00:23:13,001 --> 00:23:16,000
He loves the Russian tearoom stuff.
491
00:23:16,001 --> 00:23:17,000
Great.
492
00:23:17,001 --> 00:23:19,000
Can they sue us for printing that?
493
00:23:19,001 --> 00:23:22,000
Wait a minute. What the fuck do I care?
494
00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:27,000
Nice decor, huh?
495
00:23:27,001 --> 00:23:32,000
I can't believe I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life in this room.
496
00:23:32,001 --> 00:23:35,000
Wait. Wait.
497
00:23:35,001 --> 00:23:42,000
Just, uh... Mmm. Mmm-hmm.
498
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,000
Mmm.
499
00:23:45,001 --> 00:23:53,000
Peter.
500
00:23:53,001 --> 00:23:57,000
You're making me feel like Ally McGraw.
501
00:23:57,001 --> 00:24:01,000
Hey.
502
00:24:01,001 --> 00:24:03,000
See that sweater over there?
503
00:24:03,001 --> 00:24:04,000
That's for you.
504
00:24:04,001 --> 00:24:06,000
My mother knitted that.
505
00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:08,000
She loved you.
506
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,088
Oh, does this mean
I'm gonna have to start
507
00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:13,000
going to family
weddings or something?
508
00:24:13,001 --> 00:24:15,429
Oh, yeah. And if I
don't get out of here,
509
00:24:15,441 --> 00:24:18,000
you're going on that
cruise with my mother.
510
00:24:18,001 --> 00:24:20,000
No, no, no, no.
511
00:24:20,001 --> 00:24:23,000
By the way, did I tell you?
512
00:24:23,001 --> 00:24:25,000
I'll be moving to another
state and changing my name?
513
00:24:25,001 --> 00:24:27,000
No.
514
00:24:27,001 --> 00:24:30,000
You don't get off that easy, Mike.
515
00:24:30,001 --> 00:24:32,000
She'll track you down.
516
00:24:32,001 --> 00:24:48,000
(
517
00:24:48,001 --> 00:24:50,000
Hi, Kitty.
518
00:24:50,001 --> 00:24:52,000
Martin. Hello.
519
00:24:52,001 --> 00:24:54,000
How's it going?
520
00:24:54,001 --> 00:24:57,000
I can't seem to throw anything away.
521
00:24:57,001 --> 00:25:00,000
A doodle pad with phone numbers on it.
522
00:25:00,001 --> 00:25:05,000
Here. I brought this for you.
It's Peter's book.
523
00:25:05,001 --> 00:25:07,000
Oh, thank you.
524
00:25:07,001 --> 00:25:11,000
I'm just so sorry.
It's never going to be published.
525
00:25:11,001 --> 00:25:16,000
Just between you and me.
I took it over to Random House.
526
00:25:16,001 --> 00:25:19,000
Okay? It's gonna be out
the beginning of December.
527
00:25:19,001 --> 00:25:21,489
And, uh, I don't
know. It turns out they,
528
00:25:21,501 --> 00:25:24,000
uh... They needed a
Christmas book, so...
529
00:25:24,001 --> 00:25:28,000
You did good, Martin Tupper.
530
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:33,000
Oh. That's my daughter. I should go.
531
00:25:33,001 --> 00:25:37,000
I want you to have this.
532
00:25:37,001 --> 00:25:42,000
Peter's father gave it to
him when he was a little boy.
533
00:25:42,001 --> 00:25:45,000
No, no, I couldn't take that.
534
00:25:45,001 --> 00:25:49,000
Really, you should have that.
535
00:25:49,001 --> 00:25:53,000
Oh. Martin, darling, can
you see me with a yo-yo?
536
00:25:53,001 --> 00:25:55,000
Please.
537
00:25:55,001 --> 00:25:58,000
Thank you, Kitty.
538
00:25:58,001 --> 00:26:01,000
I'm coming.
539
00:26:01,001 --> 00:26:04,000
My daughter, she's so impatient.
540
00:26:04,001 --> 00:26:15,000
Well... I guess that's
about everything.
541
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,000
You take care, Martin.
542
00:26:19,001 --> 00:26:25,000
You too, Kitty.
543
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000
(Sighs).
544
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,000
(Sighs)
545
00:26:31,001 --> 00:26:34,000
You too, Kitty.
546
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,000
(Sighs)
547
00:26:37,001 --> 00:26:40,000
(Sighs)
548
00:26:40,001 --> 00:26:43,000
(Sighs).
549
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,000
Hello, Pete.
550
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,000
(Sighs).
551
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,000
(Sighs).
552
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000
(Sighs)
553
00:27:45,001 --> 00:27:49,000
John Renau and Wasabi at 11 on ITV4.
554
00:27:49,001 --> 00:27:52,000
(Music plays)
555
00:27:52,001 --> 00:27:55,000
(Music plays).
556
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000
(Music plays)
557
00:27:58,001 --> 00:28:01,000
(Music plays).
558
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,000
(Music plays).
559
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,000
(Music plays).
560
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,000
(Music plays)
561
00:28:10,001 --> 00:28:15,000
[Music].
38946
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