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1
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,949
It's a big, lonely,
scary wofld we live fn,
2
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,492
each and every one of us
3
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,702
searching for that special someone
to make as whole,
4
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:39,331
that 1 in 6.5 billion.
5
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:43,085
That's right, kiddies.
I'm talking about true love.
6
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,962
I'm here to tell you that it exists
7
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:48,215
and if you're one of the lucky few
to find it, hang on tight
8
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,217
because true love...
9
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,177
Never dies.
10
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,600
[V.6.]
10
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,143
Hello?
11
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,238
Come on. Let's go, legs.
12
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,807
Oh, whoa!
13
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,701
Hello?
14
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,123
Is anybody home?
15
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,584
Hello?
16
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,214
Oh, thank god.
17
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:38,176
excuse me. Um, sir?
18
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,684
Um... sir?
19
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,732
Holy shit!
20
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,984
Oh, god. Open up! Open up!
21
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,737
Help, help! Hey, hey, open up! Help!
23
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:07,038
Jesus Christ.
24
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,707
They shot me.
25
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,292
Oh, they're shooting at us!
26
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:13,003
Run! Everybody, run!
27
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,838
Run!
31
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,445
Oh, no.
32
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,186
We have to get out of here. Now.
33
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,566
It wasn't doc anymore, Eric.
34
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,152
He'd turned, son.
35
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,960
Rar! Ohh!
36
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,711
Song: I they won't stay dead
37
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:40,465
I they won't stay dead... I
38
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,390
Is everybody alright?
39
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,655
I they won't stay dead. I
40
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,968
Oh, god.
41
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,262
This... this is it.
42
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:28,930
It's the end.
43
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,705
Oh, god.
44
00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,210
Whoa!
45
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:01,212
Whoa! No, stay back!
46
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,756
Stop!
47
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,674
Jesus Christ, you can talk?
48
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:07,677
Oh, you scared the shit out of me, man.
49
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:11,681
Of course I can talk.
What the hell's going on?
50
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,224
I mean, what are they doing?
51
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,352
Yeah, yeah, hunter's orange
52
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,496
probably not the best fashion choice
for the night.
53
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,397
I'm so glad I ran into you.
54
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:22,943
These guys, they're not making
for very good conversation.
55
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,109
Is that how you bit the big one?
56
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,613
What?
57
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,156
Yeah, beats me, man.
58
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:31,076
I mean, I can't say autoerotic
asphyxiation is a bad way to go out.
59
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:35,914
At least I died doing what I love, right?
60
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,165
Who are you people?!
61
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:40,377
Oh, you just woke up, huh?
62
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,712
Hey, hold that thought, ok?
I'll be right back.
63
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:47,926
Hey, make room there, fellas.
Don't be greedy, alright?
64
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,552
Come on.
65
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,554
There we go.
66
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:56,059
Hey, don't worry.
I got a piece for you.
67
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:06,987
Oh!
68
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,841
911.
Oh, thank god.
69
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,551
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, I need your help.
70
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,095
What's your location?
I don't know where I am.
71
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,180
I'm on a rural road by a bar.
72
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,976
Name of the bar?
It's called the, um... royal tavern.
73
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:39,936
What seems to be the problem?
74
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:41,688
The problem?
75
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,357
Well, I've been shot. Ok.
76
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:48,361
And...I've been running into
all these people
77
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,280
who are...
78
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,076
Eating... eating other people.
79
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,039
No, no, not like cannibals. Ok.
81
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,334
More like...
82
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:04,878
Like zombies?
83
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,547
Yeah! Like... well, like zombies.
84
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,340
Yeah, yeah.
85
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,092
Did you see 'dawn of the dead'?
What?
86
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,719
I love that movie. Bad-ass.
87
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,947
You've gotta have seen it.
I haven't seen that movie.
88
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,051
It's really good.
I'm really glad you like it. Great.
89
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,933
No, you gotta see it. Wonderful.
90
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:22,645
Did you just get out of the bar?
I didn't just get out of the bar!
91
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,482
Listen!
Can you put Dracula on the phone?
92
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,987
You want... you want to speak to Dracula?
93
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:33,656
Ok, listen to me.
94
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,992
This is a very serious situation...
95
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:39,120
Come quick!
There's zombies everywhere!
96
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:48,963
Why would you do that?
97
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:52,175
What? You think Barney fucking fife
is gonna help us?
98
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,219
We're zombies, dude!
No! No, no, no, no, no.
99
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,785
We're not zombies, ok?
I'm not a zombie. You're not a zombie.
100
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,849
We're suffering from post-traumatical
delusional stuff and we need help.
101
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,602
Well, we can help each other out
by getting out of this hole.
102
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,229
I don't want your help.
103
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:07,398
I offer my hand in friendship
and you slap it away.
104
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,193
Get his finger out of my face.
105
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,154
You want a bite? Zombie a little hungry?
106
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,989
Zombie want a little somethin' somethin'?
107
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:18,701
I said get his finger out of my face!
108
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,705
Whoa! I didn't mean to do that, man.
109
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,582
I...
110
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,085
Oh! You get off of me!
111
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,795
You frickin'...
112
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,132
Get off me!
Don't make me thread the needle.
113
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,134
Get off me!
Just say it — “I'm a zombie.”
114
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,511
Say it. I'm gonna thread it. No!
115
00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:49,482
That's probably not too good.
118
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:23,766
Dude, you're like mr potato head.
119
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,688
Fine. Stay mad.
120
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:34,027
Like it or not, we got some things
in common at the present moment.
121
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,197
I need a beer.
122
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:42,702
Whoa.
123
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:47,916
Classy.
124
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,460
Ok, this might have been a bad idea.
We're fine!
125
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:53,004
We'll make it fast —
Grab a seat, get you some food.
126
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,299
Hey, hey! Knock it off, man.
127
00:11:56,466 --> 00:12:00,053
These guys came out of the womb
armed with shotguns.
128
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,848
That's why I'm being friendly.
129
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,309
Can I get you boys anything?
130
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:11,648
Well, I'll take a pair of burgers for me
and my friend here, rar,
131
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,859
and a pitcher of your finest
malt beverage, please.
132
00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,904
That it? How about a smile?
133
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:23,660
No shortness of personality
in this place, huh?
134
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:34,295
Jubbville. We're in Colorado.
135
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,466
August 10, 2009?
136
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,177
Three years.
137
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:45,181
I've been dead for three years.
138
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,850
I missed the 'transformers' movie.
139
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,477
It probably sucked.
140
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:54,274
Shit. I...
I don't even remember how I died.
141
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,985
I'm no detective,
but it might be a side effect
142
00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:00,613
of having two bullets lodged in your brain.
143
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:05,201
Hey, you got any cash?
'Cause if not, we're washing dishes.
144
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:08,705
What's this?
145
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,582
Oh, my god.
146
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,799
Ellie.
147
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,097
I was gonna propose.
148
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:31,561
Oh, my god. I was gonna
propose to my girlfriend.
149
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,831
Well, I guess you dodged that bullet
and caught another one, huh?
150
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:39,193
Yeah, maybe it's god's effed-up way of
telling you she wasn't worth it.
151
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,696
No. No, no, no.
152
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:46,909
She was the one, the girl
that you wait your entire life for.
153
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,037
Speaking of which...
154
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:55,126
She's probably wondered where I am.
What?
155
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,669
No, she's probably towelling off
156
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,796
a Pearl necklace from her new boyfriend.
157
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,591
You've been gone for three years, man.
158
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,135
Yeah, you're right.
159
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,554
Of course I am.
160
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,724
There's nothing for me here.
161
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,601
No, I wouldn't go that far.
162
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,520
What? What are we supposed to do?
163
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,124
Are we supposed to visit old friends,
reconnect with the family?
164
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,942
“Hey, mom and dad. I kind of want
to eat your brains right now.”
165
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,612
No, no, we have a second chance here, man.
166
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:26,449
This isn't a second chance.
This is nothing.
167
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,754
Alright, fuck this.
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
168
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,256
First, we're gonna drink these beers here.
169
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,300
Second, we're gonna walk out that door
170
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:47,178
and, third, we're gonna go find
that sweet girl of yours.
171
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,806
There's no point. Chin up!
172
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,058
You got a girl out there who loves you.
173
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,601
You know how rare that shit is?
174
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:57,397
Look at me, though. I mean, look at me.
175
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,275
I'm... I'm dead.
176
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:07,365
You got something dark
and mysterious-looking about you.
177
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:09,117
Do you love her?
178
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,705
Yeah.
179
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:20,962
Well, love is the strongest force
in the universe, man.
180
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,506
I'm talking cosmic big.
181
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:27,927
Did Luke Skywalker give up on Princess Leia?
182
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,470
She was his sister.
183
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:33,015
Yeah, but he wanted to fuck his sister.
184
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,935
Like you haven't!
185
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,830
Ok, that doesn't make any sense.
Perfect sense.
186
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,540
No, it doesn't make any sense.
Perfect sense.
187
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,983
Actually, no. Perfect sense, Bob.
188
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,526
Is she worth it?
189
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:49,782
Risk versus reward.
He who dares wins.
190
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,332
You're right. Yeah!
191
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:01,627
You're right. Of course I'm right.
You're absolutely right.
192
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,504
Come on! Alright.
193
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,510
Oh, god, that's good.
It tastes like piss.
194
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,347
Well, Michigan.
195
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,850
Near fenwick, actually.
We had an apartment there.
196
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,497
We went to high school together, so...
197
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,562
Well, it sounds like
a good place to start, right?
198
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,105
Yeah.
199
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,983
And no eating people, alright?
200
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,945
Please. No ears, no nothing. Ok.
201
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:29,489
It's kind of weird. Promise.
202
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:37,371
We should probably find some wheels
before we get our asses shot off.
203
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:39,499
Oh, by the way, I'm Brent.
204
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,751
Oh, Mike Kellerman.
205
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,295
Nice to meet you, Mike. Yeah.
206
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:48,758
I love this. Cupid's little zombies
on a mission of love. We can't lose.
207
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,219
Whoa! Shit!
208
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,722
Mandy, take Jack.
209
00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,683
I'll cover you. Go, go!
210
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,393
Come on!
211
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,104
Amanda...
212
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:03,689
I love you!
213
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:10,530
What's going on? Hey, boys!
214
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:20,957
Listen up, we got about 30 seconds
before those undead motherfuckers...
217
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,265
Sorry, baby.
218
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,542
We're all gonna have to work
together, alright? All of us.
219
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:06,502
Now let's board this shit hole up
220
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:09,463
before I have to shoot somebody I don't like.
221
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,049
Come on. Let's go! Move.
222
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,892
Oh, god. Let's get out of here!
We need more wood!
223
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,979
What are we gonna do?
224
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,606
We'll just half-ass it.
225
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,566
You think that'll work?
226
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,318
That's the point of half-assing it.
227
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,695
Hurry, hurry!
228
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:36,157
Good job. Sorting the window. Ok.
Give us some nails.
229
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,427
Out of my way, short bus.
230
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,305
What? Are we dancing here?
231
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,848
Zombie! Shh!
232
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,851
Zombie! He's a zombie!
233
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:07,063
What the...
234
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:10,232
Somebody help me with this.
Please, help me with this.
235
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,193
Oh, shit, here comes
shaft the zombie killer.
236
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,320
What happened here?
240
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,335
Oh, shit! He's a zombie tool
241
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:36,175
come on, man. Truce, truce! Relax!
244
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,730
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
245
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,984
Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
246
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,071
We don't want to hurt anybody.
247
00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:58,989
Yeah.
We're just trying to get home.
248
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:02,034
That's it. We don't even
know how we got here.
249
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,662
We just want to go home. Please.
250
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,205
Hurry, hurry!
251
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,504
Whoa, whoa!
253
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,258
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
254
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,760
Hey, hey, let go! Whoa!
255
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:25,307
Come on. Easy there. Watch it. Ohh!
256
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,397
Whoa... oh!
257
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,150
Thank you for that.
258
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,945
Alright.
260
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:47,705
Well, that was easy enough, huh?
261
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,832
What?
262
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,501
Ok, yeah, let's go. Let's go!
263
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:56,922
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. No.
264
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:29,163
We got a live one here, sir.
266
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,600
Sorry, Michael. Wait!
268
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:54,021
Hey.
269
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,901
Oh, hey, hey. No, bad, bad.
270
00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:02,071
Heel. Come here. Come here, boy.
271
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,907
Morning, sunshine.
272
00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:08,285
What the fuck is that?
That? That's cheese.
273
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,412
It's cheese? Ok.
274
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,289
Um, what's he doing here?
275
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:14,083
I'm teaching him to play fetch.
276
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,186
Teaching him to play fetch?
Why would you do that?
277
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:17,970
He showed up once you
fell asleep last night.
278
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:20,923
Probably followed us home from the bar.
Check out what else he can do.
279
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,300
Over here, buddy. Come here.
Come on. Come on, buddy.
280
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,136
Ready? Five, six, seven. Clap.
281
00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:29,473
Down. Da-da-da. Shoulders, head. Clap.
282
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,351
Down. Da-da-da. Shoulders, head.
Clap. Come on. Over here.
283
00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:39,859
He had it an hour ago, man.
Yeah, I bet he did. Just a sec.
284
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,945
Um, could you excuse us
just a second, big guy?
285
00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:44,655
Go get it, boy.
286
00:22:44,822 --> 00:22:46,866
Ok, what are you doing?
That's a zombie.
287
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,034
We're zombies. But we're good zombies.
288
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,761
He's a good zombie. You don't know that.
289
00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:52,413
What are we supposed to do with it?
290
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,623
First off, it's not an 'it'.
That's 'cheese'.
291
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,542
He's got someone's ass.
292
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:59,670
He'll probably just wander off
once he gets hungry.
293
00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:02,598
We can't let him wander off. He'll snack
on a little kid or something.
294
00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:04,550
Then we're gonna have to bring him with us.
295
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,093
Trust me. It'll be ok.
296
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:08,345
Everything will be fine.
What about the plan, huh?
297
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,224
I was just talking out of my ass
last night about...
298
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,851
Yeah, I kinda still wanna do that.
299
00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:17,813
How are we supposed to stick to the plan
with captain creepy following us everywhere?
301
00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:19,732
It's not like any person
in their right mind
302
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,650
would pick up a couple
of assholes like us
303
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:23,527
in the middle of freakin' nowhere!
304
00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:26,280
Shit!
305
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:31,327
What kind of crotch waffle
drives like that? God.
306
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:34,830
Come on. Come on.
307
00:23:40,002 --> 00:23:42,963
You boys need a ride?
308
00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:45,674
We need to work on
containing sector three and five.
309
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:48,135
Oh, Jesus, that smells so bad. Eugh.
310
00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:50,596
Totally... oh!
311
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:52,973
It's... it's just man. It's a man.
312
00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:56,727
A half-eaten man. It doesn't matter.
You know how to work this?
313
00:23:56,894 --> 00:23:58,979
It's ok, it's ok.
314
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,461
We got about a dozen more
to go over here.
315
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:24,171
Affirmatise.
316
00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:28,092
Um, sir, sir, would you like me...
Emily, this is a disaster!
317
00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:29,778
They were supposed to completely annihilate
318
00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:32,388
a major city in a matter of hours
and look at this mess!
319
00:24:32,554 --> 00:24:33,931
They're just too...
320
00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:37,309
Stupid.
321
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:41,146
Sir, the team is still working on it,
322
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:44,358
but they assure me that they
have been making progress.
323
00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:48,904
The sun is going to set
on our little project here
324
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:54,410
if that progress doesn't
turn into answers fast.
325
00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:57,079
Stay down. Don't move.
326
00:24:57,246 --> 00:24:59,456
Is this him?
327
00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:03,585
Is this your handiwork, my friend?
328
00:25:05,295 --> 00:25:08,257
Urn, sir? Uh, sir?
329
00:25:08,424 --> 00:25:10,676
What do you want to do about...
330
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:13,762
Send backup, send backup!
332
00:25:24,273 --> 00:25:27,067
Can I get some extra hands over here?
333
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:32,114
So, uh, what brings you guys
out to these parts?
334
00:25:32,281 --> 00:25:33,657
Well...
335
00:25:33,824 --> 00:25:37,077
The adventure of life, my friend.
The adventure that is life.
336
00:25:37,244 --> 00:25:40,622
Ah. Well, you look
a little worse for wear.
337
00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:44,084
Well, fast cars, fast women...
338
00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,421
A hard-living life, my friend.
339
00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:49,131
Stay down.
340
00:25:49,298 --> 00:25:50,966
I hear that.
341
00:25:51,133 --> 00:25:54,511
I've made this trip by myself
about a thousand times,
342
00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:57,431
but it always goes a lot quicker with
good conversation.
343
00:25:57,598 --> 00:26:00,100
Lay down, lay down. The name's cliff.
344
00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:02,519
Oh, I'm Mike.
345
00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:05,272
I'm Brent. This is cheese in the back.
346
00:26:05,439 --> 00:26:06,815
He's special.
347
00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:09,109
Yeah.
348
00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:13,238
Were you in the army, cliff?
349
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,157
Served through most of Vietnam.
350
00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:17,284
Oh, wow. That's really cool.
Wow. Yeah.
351
00:26:17,451 --> 00:26:18,827
If I hadn't gone to nam,
352
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:21,538
I never would've met pei pei...
my wife.
353
00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:22,748
Nice!
354
00:26:22,915 --> 00:26:25,209
When the army finally
told me I was going home,
355
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:28,170
I... I asked her to go with me.
356
00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:30,923
She said yes.
357
00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:33,217
Yeah. Wow. That's a great story.
358
00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:36,303
Well, I wasn't about to leave her behind.
359
00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:42,309
Best little whore in Saigon, baby!
360
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:47,815
Hey, nice dog-head bobbles you got there.
361
00:26:50,150 --> 00:26:53,403
Oh, she loved those little fuckers.
362
00:26:53,570 --> 00:26:56,365
But why don't you ask her yourself?
363
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,328
Well, she passed last week.
364
00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:05,833
That's terrible, cliff.
365
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:07,876
I'm sorry. Don't be sorry.
366
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:11,088
I'm driving to lake Michigan
to spread her ashes.
367
00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:20,055
We spent every anniversary there.
This week would've been our 32nd.
368
00:27:21,765 --> 00:27:23,642
That's a long time
to spend with one woman.
369
00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:25,894
All these guys cheating on their wives?
370
00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:30,315
I mean, I never had to look elsewhere.
371
00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:32,985
Pei pei was already
more than I could handle!
372
00:27:34,862 --> 00:27:38,866
Whoo-whee! The shit that woman
would pull in bed!
373
00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:40,784
Oh, oh, man...
374
00:27:40,951 --> 00:27:43,495
Like what?
Brent, m. We don't need details.
375
00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:47,082
Would you like to know
the real cure for a limp dick?
376
00:27:47,249 --> 00:27:49,209
Yeah, yeah. No, no. That's alright.
377
00:27:49,376 --> 00:27:50,836
That's ok. I'm ok not knowing that.
378
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:53,005
A hard-working woman
379
00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:57,634
ready and willing to satisfy your...
380
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,096
Every sexual desire.
381
00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:04,224
I gotta get me one of those.
I gotta get one, cliff.
382
00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:12,691
They say love isn't between the sheets,
but that's where I found it.
383
00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:31,001
Yeah, it is a fairly large chemical leak.
384
00:28:31,168 --> 00:28:36,506
We're gonna have it under, you know,
wraps in a couple hours, contained.
385
00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:38,258
But let me get you a map.
386
00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:42,262
Team four. Over. Mcdr'nkle, report.
387
00:28:43,513 --> 00:28:45,766
Mcdr'nkle, report!
388
00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:52,439
What now, dick lick?
389
00:28:53,482 --> 00:28:54,858
Can you pass me a map?
390
00:28:55,025 --> 00:28:57,611
Gillman, can I ask you a question?
391
00:28:57,778 --> 00:28:59,404
Yeah, what do you need?
392
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:02,741
How the fuck did I wind up
on this bullshit detail?
393
00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:04,993
How many times are you
gonna ask me that question?
394
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,497
And how did I get saddled up
with a big, dumb pussy like you?
395
00:29:08,664 --> 00:29:10,290
Map.
396
00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:22,552
Wait. There's not supposed to be
anybody coming down that road.
397
00:29:22,719 --> 00:29:25,264
The town's supposed to be clear.
I gotta call this in.
398
00:29:25,430 --> 00:29:29,309
Alright! Finally some action!
399
00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:32,187
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
400
00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:34,594
When I give the signal,
I'll take the driver's side door.
401
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:37,651
Then it's, “kaplowl
how do you like me now?”
402
00:29:37,818 --> 00:29:39,194
We gotta call this in!
403
00:29:39,361 --> 00:29:41,697
Shut the fuck up, Gillman,
and do the job.
404
00:29:44,283 --> 00:29:46,660
Cheese, cheese, get down.
Down, down, down.
405
00:29:46,827 --> 00:29:49,579
Oh, this could be good.
We should talk to these guys.
406
00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:51,873
No, I don't think these
people look very friendly.
407
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,710
I think we should turn around.
Listen. I'll handle these guys.
408
00:29:57,796 --> 00:30:01,508
Put your car in park.
409
00:30:02,551 --> 00:30:04,219
Nice day. How you boys doing?
410
00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:08,515
Doing ok. Uh, this road's
been quarantined, sir,
411
00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:11,476
and there was a major chemical leak.
412
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:17,733
You might have been possibly exposed
to some chemical leakage... spillage.
413
00:30:17,899 --> 00:30:20,694
I didn't see anything.
My friends and I are in kind of a hurry.
414
00:30:20,861 --> 00:30:22,821
So if you don't mind...
I understand, sir.
415
00:30:22,988 --> 00:30:25,490
But we have to detain you
just for a short while...
416
00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:27,576
It's just we have
a long trip ahead of us...
417
00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:29,328
Look, old man.
418
00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:32,789
Just get out of the fucking car
419
00:30:32,956 --> 00:30:36,460
before I make you get out
of the fucking car.
420
00:30:38,754 --> 00:30:42,007
Just who do you think
you're talking to here, son?
421
00:30:43,717 --> 00:30:46,887
We're not playing
kick the can here, old man.
422
00:30:47,054 --> 00:30:49,348
Howdy there. Motherf...
424
00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:57,939
Whoa! Brass balls, cliff!
425
00:30:58,106 --> 00:30:59,524
Oh, wow.
Brass balls! Hell, yeah!
426
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,194
One of you guys wanna...
427
00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:05,655
I got dibs. Yeah.
428
00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:09,743
Uh, we need a decision here.
What's it gonna be?
429
00:31:09,910 --> 00:31:12,496
It's way above my pay grade.
430
00:31:12,662 --> 00:31:15,582
Oh, forget it. I will. Yeah.
431
00:31:15,749 --> 00:31:17,334
I'm on it. I am.
432
00:31:19,503 --> 00:31:21,546
I am. I am on it.
433
00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:24,174
I... yes, sir.
434
00:31:24,341 --> 00:31:27,344
I'm... yeah, on the double.
435
00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:33,850
This truck is pretty much fully equipped
436
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:36,520
to handle any situation that should arise.
437
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,398
However, I would like to remind you
that this is a recovery mission,
438
00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:41,316
not a kill everything mission.
439
00:31:41,483 --> 00:31:46,738
Uh, the key words to keep
in mind here are 'iow profile'.
440
00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:49,032
So if you have any questions,
441
00:31:49,199 --> 00:31:53,787
feel free to touch me...
Call me... contact us.
442
00:31:58,667 --> 00:32:00,127
The rest of your team is waiting
443
00:32:00,293 --> 00:32:02,045
to meet up with you north of buckman road.
444
00:32:02,212 --> 00:32:05,173
Team? No, I don't want
to work with your guys.
445
00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:06,716
I don't need them slowing me down.
446
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:08,778
Well, that's too bad
because it's what he requested.
447
00:32:08,802 --> 00:32:10,470
You know what?
448
00:32:11,513 --> 00:32:13,557
As long as I get my money,
449
00:32:13,723 --> 00:32:16,017
I'll bring them to your boss
any way he wants.
450
00:32:16,184 --> 00:32:19,020
I'll even tie a ribbon around their asses.
451
00:32:32,117 --> 00:32:33,743
Ellie!
452
00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:36,037
Mike?
Ellie, I'm so glad you're here.
453
00:32:36,204 --> 00:32:38,874
What's wrong with you?
454
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,626
Oh, I think someone murdered...
455
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:45,589
Oh, wow. What's that smell?
Is something rotting?
456
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:53,180
There it is.
460
00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:14,951
Dude! Are we there yet?
461
00:33:20,123 --> 00:33:22,417
Oh, no.
462
00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:24,461
Come on! Oh, fuck!
463
00:33:24,628 --> 00:33:28,089
Shit! Oh, fuck!
464
00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:30,926
Oh... fuck.
465
00:33:32,761 --> 00:33:36,014
Maybe it's a wire.
466
00:33:38,308 --> 00:33:40,852
Or a fuse.
467
00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:44,648
Maybe it's the flux capacitor.
Is it not fluxing?
468
00:33:46,816 --> 00:33:51,738
Yeah, that's what it is, Brent.
We're all out of plutonium.
469
00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:57,744
Ow! Oh, fucking... arggh!
470
00:33:57,911 --> 00:33:59,287
Sonofa...
Not a good time, buddy.
471
00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:01,454
He's pretty pissed at you.
He's really sorry, Mike.
472
00:34:01,498 --> 00:34:04,751
You can't be mad at him.
I mean, look at that face.
473
00:34:08,171 --> 00:34:10,131
I'm not mad at him, Brent, ok?
474
00:34:10,298 --> 00:34:14,803
We're stranded, alright?
He drove the truck bone dry.
475
00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:16,410
I mean, what sort of thought process
476
00:34:16,513 --> 00:34:19,849
made you think that
that can drive a car, huh?
477
00:34:20,016 --> 00:34:23,186
He wanted to take a turn!
478
00:34:23,353 --> 00:34:25,772
Ooh, ok, what did I miss?
479
00:34:25,939 --> 00:34:27,941
Oh, no biggie, cliffy.
480
00:34:28,108 --> 00:34:30,151
We're just...
We just ran out of gas.
481
00:34:31,570 --> 00:34:35,907
Well, it's getting late. We should
probably hunker down for the night.
482
00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:38,785
We can walk to a gas station
in the morning.
483
00:34:38,952 --> 00:34:41,288
I've got some sleeping bags here.
484
00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:44,040
You mean camping?
485
00:34:44,207 --> 00:34:46,585
Like, under the stars
and telling ghost stories?
486
00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:49,170
This is gonna be amazing!
-No.
487
00:34:49,337 --> 00:34:52,382
No, no, no.
Tell me you weren't a boy scout?
488
00:34:52,549 --> 00:34:54,134
Guys, we are not camping here.
489
00:34:54,301 --> 00:34:56,678
Well, we can just move back
into the tree line a little.
490
00:34:56,845 --> 00:35:00,599
Where's your sense of adventure?
This is gonna be great!
491
00:35:08,898 --> 00:35:10,775
Great. Thank you.
492
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:13,445
Awesome. So... whoo!
493
00:35:13,612 --> 00:35:18,241
Ok, we're gonna camp. Wonderful.
494
00:35:19,367 --> 00:35:22,287
Fucking Daniel Boone. Yeah.
495
00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:29,586
Oh! I hope you fuckers
become mosquito zombies!
496
00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:37,260
Come here, cheese.
Come here, cheese.
497
00:35:37,427 --> 00:35:38,803
Brent.
Cheese, come here. Come on.
498
00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:40,722
Brent.
Come here. Come here, cheese.
499
00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:42,432
Brent. Come here, cheese.
500
00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:44,559
Brent. Hey, Brent.
501
00:35:44,726 --> 00:35:46,227
Ok, just go kill a kid or something.
502
00:35:46,394 --> 00:35:49,564
Hey, Brent, come over here, man. Come
over here. Come here, come here.
503
00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:51,650
Help us out with this, man.
Help us out, ok?
504
00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:53,902
Yeah. Brent, are you listening?
505
00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:56,071
This is gold coming out,
right here, in your face.
506
00:35:56,237 --> 00:35:57,697
Ok, alright.
507
00:35:57,864 --> 00:35:59,991
Werewolves and silver bullets, man...
508
00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:03,995
How... how did they know that's
the only way to kill a werewolf?
509
00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:06,873
How do they know that? It's a bullet.
510
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,000
No, no, no. But what if
there's other things, man?
511
00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:10,960
What if there's other things like doorknobs?
512
00:36:11,127 --> 00:36:12,504
How do they know that lamps...
513
00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:14,271
Werewolves could be
afraid of lamps, man.
514
00:36:14,339 --> 00:36:15,840
Or... oh! Or chicken sandwiches.
515
00:36:16,007 --> 00:36:18,927
What if a chicken sandwich to
a werewolf's like a grenade, man?
516
00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:21,614
You just fucking throw the chicken
sandwich at the werewolf's face
517
00:36:21,638 --> 00:36:23,157
and it's just like...
518
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:26,267
Instant death, instant doom, man.
519
00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:27,811
You know, like, seriously?
Garlic.
520
00:36:27,977 --> 00:36:30,563
How do we know if we never
tried it? How do we know?
521
00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:33,108
What, cliff? Garlic. The garlic.
522
00:36:33,274 --> 00:36:34,693
yeah, yeah, yeah. Garlic.
523
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,796
Who's the one that figured out...
524
00:36:36,820 --> 00:36:39,155
That garlic is what kills Dracula, you know?
525
00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:41,074
I mean, did Dracula order a pizza one day
526
00:36:41,241 --> 00:36:43,660
and he was like, “I'm gonna try
some of that garlic stuff,”
527
00:36:43,827 --> 00:36:46,287
then he got the garlic
on the pizza and he tries it
528
00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:48,334
and he's like, “oh, fuck!
My face! It's burning!
529
00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:51,167
“I did not expect that to happen!
I did not expect that to happen.
530
00:36:51,334 --> 00:36:52,711
“This garlic fucking sucks.
531
00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:54,980
“This is what kills me.
Tell everybody. Tell the village.”
532
00:36:55,004 --> 00:36:57,340
You know what I mean?
Like, how did they find that out?
533
00:36:57,507 --> 00:36:59,676
Oh, you know what I'm gonna do, man?
534
00:36:59,843 --> 00:37:02,178
I'm gonna come up with
my own monster
535
00:37:02,345 --> 00:37:05,014
so, like, in 200 years,
all these people are gonna be like,
536
00:37:05,181 --> 00:37:06,725
“shit!, shit! It's the monster!
537
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:09,853
“Grab the Oscar Mayer wiener truck,
put a dirty tampon on your head
538
00:37:10,019 --> 00:37:11,396
“and run over its left arm.
539
00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:14,203
“It's the only way to kill it.
Hurry, hurry! Hurry, motherfuckers.”
540
00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:15,984
Does it have to be
an Oscar Mayer wiener?
541
00:37:16,151 --> 00:37:17,527
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
542
00:37:17,694 --> 00:37:20,488
What about a regular wiener truck?
I mean, Jesus.
543
00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:23,450
Yeah, no, cliff,
I'm telling you right now.
544
00:37:23,616 --> 00:37:26,035
You're hearing it first right here.
545
00:37:26,202 --> 00:37:27,787
It's gotta be an Oscar Mayer truck.
546
00:37:27,954 --> 00:37:29,831
Oh, shit!
548
00:37:31,833 --> 00:37:34,586
Oh, oh, shit. Oh, god, Brent.
549
00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:37,172
It's a werewolf, man.
Quick, quick, quick, quick.
550
00:37:37,338 --> 00:37:40,967
Oh, oh, grab a chicken sandwich.
Grab a chicken sandwich. Quick!
551
00:37:41,134 --> 00:37:43,344
Just shut up!
552
00:37:43,511 --> 00:37:45,430
Oh, god.
553
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:48,892
Oh, cheeser, come here, man.
Cheeser, come here, man.
554
00:37:49,058 --> 00:37:51,644
Cheeser. Cheeser, man, iook.
Alright, listen to me, buddy.
555
00:37:51,811 --> 00:37:54,230
This is the only time
I'm ever gonna say this to you.
556
00:37:54,397 --> 00:37:56,775
I swear to god, it's the only time
I'm gonna say this.
557
00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:58,777
But suck this shit, man.
Suck it hard.
558
00:38:00,487 --> 00:38:02,548
Suck this shit hard.
-That's really good, Mike.
559
00:38:02,572 --> 00:38:04,574
Get him stoned, ok?
Give him the munchies.
561
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:09,096
Brent, where are you going, man?
Cheese, let's go.
562
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:10,955
Where are you going?
I gotta take a piss.
563
00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:14,375
Brent, where are you going, man?
You're what? You're taking a piss?
564
00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:15,919
Do we have to do that?
565
00:38:16,085 --> 00:38:18,254
I don't know, but I gotta piss.
Fuck!
566
00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:20,381
I don't even know if we have to do that.
567
00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:27,806
I haven't pissed in three years, man.
I haven't pissed in three years.
568
00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:29,641
That's weird.
569
00:38:38,608 --> 00:38:42,445
I got an abandoned vehicle
out here on carver road, suze.
570
00:38:42,612 --> 00:38:44,322
I'm checking it out.
571
00:38:44,489 --> 00:38:47,492
You want me to send frank out there, Phil?
572
00:38:48,785 --> 00:38:54,666
It's an abandoned car, suze.
I think I can handle the excitement.
573
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:57,627
Alright, Phil. Over and out.
574
00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:10,181
What you got there?
575
00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:12,058
Nothing.
576
00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:23,403
It's a ring.
577
00:39:24,445 --> 00:39:26,447
Nah, doesn't suit you.
578
00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:28,116
Yeah.
579
00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:31,077
You got a girl to match
that pretty piece of metal?
580
00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:33,997
I do.
581
00:39:37,750 --> 00:39:39,377
I did.
582
00:39:41,671 --> 00:39:43,965
It's complicated.
583
00:39:44,132 --> 00:39:47,218
Yeah, it wouldn't be any fun
if it wasn't, though.
584
00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:49,512
Right.
585
00:39:50,555 --> 00:39:53,975
Does she know you're gonna
drop that bomb on her?
586
00:39:54,142 --> 00:39:56,853
Well, I'm not gonna just
hand it to her off the bat.
587
00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:59,689
I'm actually working on
what I'm gonna say.
588
00:39:59,856 --> 00:40:01,900
“Working on”?
589
00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:04,944
Yeah, writing it down.
590
00:40:05,111 --> 00:40:08,114
I'm not very good with
the whole talking thing.
591
00:40:08,281 --> 00:40:11,200
But...I'm a decent writer.
592
00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:14,412
I mean, it's one thing
I'm good at, I guess.
593
00:40:14,579 --> 00:40:16,956
I mean, I got a couple
short stories published
594
00:40:17,123 --> 00:40:22,462
and I got into the writers program
at u of m, full ride, so...
595
00:40:24,172 --> 00:40:25,924
I never went.
596
00:40:28,009 --> 00:40:30,470
I mean, I didn't want to...
597
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:33,598
I couldn't.
598
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:35,850
I couldn't leave her.
599
00:40:36,893 --> 00:40:39,228
This girl? Yeah.
600
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:41,731
Ellie.
601
00:40:44,901 --> 00:40:47,779
Hopeless romanticism.
602
00:40:47,946 --> 00:40:50,114
It's the downfall of every great man.
603
00:40:53,201 --> 00:40:54,994
Do me a favour, Shakespeare.
604
00:40:55,161 --> 00:40:59,874
When you find this Ellie,
tell her how you feel.
605
00:41:00,041 --> 00:41:02,001
Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no. I'm going to.
606
00:41:02,168 --> 00:41:04,712
No, no, no.
607
00:41:04,879 --> 00:41:07,131
Tell her.
608
00:41:11,386 --> 00:41:14,389
Hm, I gotta take a dump.
609
00:41:25,358 --> 00:41:28,277
You're driving me nuts
with that thing. Hold it up!
610
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,240
Goddammit! Is that poison Ivy?
611
00:41:33,282 --> 00:41:36,369
Come on, cheese. Fuck.
612
00:41:37,829 --> 00:41:40,540
A little privacy here. Shoo, shool
613
00:41:40,707 --> 00:41:43,584
Go find your own tree.
614
00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:47,922
I could use a little light, though.
615
00:41:48,089 --> 00:41:50,508
Never mind.
616
00:41:54,804 --> 00:41:56,723
Oh, ohh.
617
00:41:57,765 --> 00:42:00,059
Oh, yeah.
618
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:01,978
Oh, good. Oh!
619
00:42:05,606 --> 00:42:09,027
Oh. Oh, yeah. There it is.
621
00:42:19,037 --> 00:42:21,414
Hey, cheese, check this shit out.
622
00:42:21,581 --> 00:42:25,209
Hold it right there, pal.
623
00:42:26,294 --> 00:42:29,464
What the hell's wrong with your face?
624
00:42:30,757 --> 00:42:32,258
Hands above your head now.
625
00:42:32,425 --> 00:42:35,094
Listen, pal, I'm having a real shit turd
of a night here, ok?
626
00:42:35,261 --> 00:42:36,888
I said, “hands above your head now!”
627
00:42:37,055 --> 00:42:39,098
Ok, ok, ok, ok!
628
00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:46,939
Uh, look, I know this looks a little weird,
but how about you put the gun down...
630
00:42:54,739 --> 00:42:57,116
Really? Really?!
631
00:42:57,283 --> 00:43:00,119
I really don't need this tonight, bro.
I really don't.
632
00:43:00,286 --> 00:43:02,413
Come on! Oh.
633
00:43:19,555 --> 00:43:22,141
What's up, man? Wake up, cliffy.
634
00:43:22,308 --> 00:43:24,685
Nothing, man. What's up with you?
635
00:43:24,852 --> 00:43:26,437
Oh, you know, same shit, different day.
636
00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:28,523
I was thinking we should
probably get a move on.
637
00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:31,192
Brent, are those gunshot wounds?
We should get moving.
638
00:43:31,359 --> 00:43:34,362
We don't want your girl to have to wait
any longer than she has to.
639
00:43:34,529 --> 00:43:36,531
Brent, what are we supposed to do about gas?
640
00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:40,618
Time waits for no man.
Come on, come on.
641
00:43:40,785 --> 00:43:44,080
Let's go! Come on, come on.
642
00:43:54,507 --> 00:43:56,509
Jesus, Joseph and Mary!
643
00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:59,137
Uhh... come on, buddy. Come on.
644
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:02,140
Fuck! Come on.
645
00:44:02,306 --> 00:44:04,267
Over.
646
00:44:06,686 --> 00:44:09,355
Brent, what's going on here?
Nothing. Everything's supercooi.
647
00:44:09,522 --> 00:44:10,898
What did you do?! I'll drive.
648
00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:12,817
No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey!
649
00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:15,624
No, no! We're not going anywhere
until you tell me what's going on.
650
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:17,363
Nothing. Just relax, ok?
651
00:44:17,530 --> 00:44:19,570
Nothing's gonna happen to us.
Just give me the keys.
652
00:44:23,119 --> 00:44:26,080
Alright, move over. I'm driving.
653
00:44:48,477 --> 00:44:50,438
Yeah.
654
00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:02,200
What the hell makes you think
they were here, convict?
655
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:05,494
Just let him do his job.
Shut the fuck up, Gillman.
656
00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:11,375
Hey, little man.
657
00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:13,127
Go take a look around. Ok.
658
00:45:13,294 --> 00:45:14,879
Keep your head up.
659
00:45:16,047 --> 00:45:18,883
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
660
00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:21,594
Just stay there
and don't touch anything.
661
00:45:21,761 --> 00:45:26,265
Fuck you, convict! This is bullshit.
You're wasting my goddamn time.
662
00:45:26,432 --> 00:45:28,327
I'm calling in to hq.
663
00:45:28,351 --> 00:45:29,977
We are through here. Shh!
664
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:35,066
Gillman, pack up your shit.
Dead end!
665
00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:36,609
Arggh!
666
00:45:36,776 --> 00:45:38,861
Get it off me! Get it off me!
667
00:45:39,028 --> 00:45:41,697
Shoot it, Gillman.
Jesus Christ! Shoot it!
668
00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:44,200
Shoot it! No, shoot it!
I got it, I got it.
669
00:45:44,367 --> 00:45:46,827
Stop moving! Hold still!
670
00:45:46,994 --> 00:45:49,080
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!
672
00:46:18,985 --> 00:46:21,362
That the last of the body bags?
673
00:46:21,529 --> 00:46:24,740
Man 2: Affirmative, sir.
Oh, oh! Come on, guys.
674
00:46:26,867 --> 00:46:29,620
Man 1: Alright, back it in.
675
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:31,831
Keep coming, keep coming,
keep coming.
676
00:46:37,878 --> 00:46:40,256
Oh, my... oh, my god. Eugh.
677
00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:48,806
Ohh!
678
00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:55,646
Oh... oh, my god. Um, how long
is it gonna be before he... urgh?
679
00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:02,028
Oh, my fucking head hurts.
680
00:47:02,194 --> 00:47:04,030
The escaped subjects
681
00:47:04,196 --> 00:47:08,034
were injected with an alternate strain
of the reanimant.
682
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,369
I caught it this morning.
683
00:47:10,536 --> 00:47:11,912
Uh, ok.
684
00:47:12,079 --> 00:47:14,498
So does that mean they're...
685
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:17,585
Smart zombies?
687
00:47:23,632 --> 00:47:25,468
Where am I?
688
00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:29,972
Oh, my god! Holy shit!
689
00:47:30,139 --> 00:47:33,017
Oh, no, no, no. Just kill. Kill... oh.
690
00:47:33,184 --> 00:47:35,936
What's going on? Where are you going?
691
00:47:36,103 --> 00:47:38,147
Let me get you something for the pain.
692
00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:40,066
What? What are you talking about, man?
693
00:47:40,232 --> 00:47:42,401
Oh, what are you... what? No.
694
00:47:42,568 --> 00:47:45,071
Where am I going? Oh, my god!
695
00:47:46,364 --> 00:47:48,199
Oh, are we making a stop?
696
00:47:48,366 --> 00:47:51,202
We are making a stop.
697
00:48:06,926 --> 00:48:09,762
Oh. Oh.
698
00:48:18,854 --> 00:48:20,773
Hey, where are you going?
699
00:48:20,940 --> 00:48:22,817
Going to make another snack run.
700
00:48:25,694 --> 00:48:27,446
You know, pei pei and I
701
00:48:27,613 --> 00:48:31,283
used to come here every year
on our way up to the lake
702
00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:33,661
and this is probably the first time
703
00:48:33,828 --> 00:48:38,207
I've actually seen more than
five minutes of a movie here.
704
00:48:38,374 --> 00:48:42,670
Pei pei had a thing for public places.
705
00:48:42,837 --> 00:48:44,463
I'd better hit the shitter.
706
00:48:53,514 --> 00:48:55,975
You not a horror fan, buddy?
707
00:49:00,479 --> 00:49:02,690
Yeah, I think I've had my share too.
708
00:49:08,696 --> 00:49:10,656
Watch it, buddy.
709
00:49:12,992 --> 00:49:15,661
We got one.
710
00:49:15,828 --> 00:49:19,331
Alright, motherfuckers,
it's go time.
711
00:49:19,498 --> 00:49:23,002
Bah weep granah weep
nini bong, my friend.
712
00:49:23,169 --> 00:49:26,672
Large popcorn, soda, large,
and one of these.
713
00:49:26,839 --> 00:49:28,215
What else have we got here?
Er...
714
00:49:28,382 --> 00:49:30,468
Ooh, one of these.
Are you sick or something?
715
00:49:32,386 --> 00:49:37,057
Unprotected sex. Don't gamble, kid.
Listen to me on this one, alright?
716
00:49:38,142 --> 00:49:40,686
Keep the change.
717
00:49:50,613 --> 00:49:52,198
Bingo.
718
00:49:53,699 --> 00:49:56,619
Fee, fi, foe, fuck.
719
00:49:56,785 --> 00:50:00,873
Get in the back of the fucking truck.
720
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:03,834
Are you fucking serious?
721
00:50:07,254 --> 00:50:12,092
You bastards. Why are you
torturing me like this? Why?
722
00:50:20,184 --> 00:50:23,145
Mike: Hey, cheese, relax.
723
00:50:24,438 --> 00:50:26,941
Hey, hey, hey. Whoa. Whoa.
Cheese, get back in the truck.
724
00:50:27,107 --> 00:50:28,984
Cheese, what are you doing?
725
00:50:29,151 --> 00:50:31,195
Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Shh.
Get back in the truck.
726
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:35,366
Get back in the truck, cheese.
What? What? Do you see something?
727
00:50:35,533 --> 00:50:37,826
Vvhoa.vvhoa. Right here.
728
00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:39,411
You.
729
00:50:39,578 --> 00:50:41,330
Yeah, me.
730
00:50:41,497 --> 00:50:44,667
No. No. No. No. Cheese. Stay.
731
00:50:44,833 --> 00:50:47,253
Stay.
Better listen to him, big man.
732
00:50:47,419 --> 00:50:49,797
Put those on him.
733
00:50:54,218 --> 00:50:56,387
Alright. Cheese. Cheese,
I'm gonna put these on you.
734
00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:58,347
Settle down. It'll be alright, ok?
735
00:50:58,514 --> 00:51:00,724
Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that.
736
00:51:00,891 --> 00:51:03,352
Major wood to dick tick, come on t'rl.
737
00:51:03,519 --> 00:51:05,354
Uh, little busy.
738
00:51:05,521 --> 00:51:09,858
So what time do you asshole fucktards
think you'll be ready?
739
00:51:10,025 --> 00:51:11,860
Over.
740
00:51:12,027 --> 00:51:14,154
'Cause I already got mine
bagged and tagged
741
00:51:14,321 --> 00:51:17,241
and I think I got time
for a little nappy poo
742
00:51:17,408 --> 00:51:19,910
while you two pussies are busy
getting your dicks kicked in.
743
00:51:20,077 --> 00:51:21,453
Over.
744
00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:23,872
How about you loosen up
these things a bit, huh?
745
00:51:25,583 --> 00:51:28,961
Word of advice, road kill,
746
00:51:29,128 --> 00:51:32,423
don't fuck with daddy dinkle.
747
00:51:35,217 --> 00:51:36,594
Hope that's not too tight.
748
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,763
No, no, no. Cheese. Cheese. Stop.
749
00:51:40,806 --> 00:51:44,893
Look, man, I know you're not a bad guy
and I know what we look like.
750
00:51:45,060 --> 00:51:47,539
You're thinking, “there's a zombie.
Need to put two in its brain.”
751
00:51:47,563 --> 00:51:51,859
But we're not looking to start some kind
of zombie holocaust or anything.
752
00:51:52,026 --> 00:51:54,862
I just want to get back to my girl.
753
00:51:56,155 --> 00:51:58,782
I mean, can't we work out
some sort of deal?
754
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:01,285
Yes, I am.
755
00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:03,746
What?
756
00:52:06,498 --> 00:52:07,958
I am a bad guy.
757
00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:09,960
Sonofabitch. You shot me.
758
00:52:11,795 --> 00:52:13,797
Well, that was your first mistake.
759
00:52:16,091 --> 00:52:18,010
Not good. Not good. Not good.
760
00:52:19,928 --> 00:52:25,559
Alright, rotten crotch. You stay put.
Daddy's got to go to work.
762
00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:56,924
Cheese, no. Bad.
763
00:53:01,387 --> 00:53:04,807
Autobots, roll out.
764
00:53:04,973 --> 00:53:09,520
Come on. Just come here.
Come on. Cheese, come on.
765
00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:11,730
Into the truck.
766
00:53:11,897 --> 00:53:13,565
What? Punch it, cliffie.
767
00:53:13,732 --> 00:53:15,317
Go. Go!
768
00:53:15,484 --> 00:53:20,823
Wait. Wait. Hey! Stop the truck. Hey!
769
00:53:20,989 --> 00:53:25,244
Come on, Mike. You're almost there.
Come on. Get up.
770
00:53:25,411 --> 00:53:26,829
Oh, hang on.
771
00:53:26,995 --> 00:53:30,374
What are you doing? Brent, what are
you doing? Stop playing with that.
772
00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:31,917
One second, man. Throw it.
773
00:53:32,084 --> 00:53:34,253
There you go. Hold this, buddy.
774
00:53:34,420 --> 00:53:36,088
Oh, shit!
775
00:53:36,255 --> 00:53:41,969
Not funny! Oh! Oh, so not cool.
776
00:53:42,136 --> 00:53:43,679
Hold on tight!
777
00:53:43,846 --> 00:53:45,681
Come on, Mike. Come on, Mike.
778
00:53:45,848 --> 00:53:51,061
Now. Come on. Come on. Come on.
We got you. Come up here.
779
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:04,679
Is he gonna be alright?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He'll be fine.
780
00:54:04,742 --> 00:54:06,827
Oh, my god. That was crazy.
That was amazing, man.
781
00:54:10,205 --> 00:54:11,749
Hey, Brent, can you help me over here?
782
00:54:11,915 --> 00:54:14,918
Absolutely. Alright.
783
00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:16,670
Got 'em! Yeah. Thanks, man.
784
00:54:16,837 --> 00:54:18,797
Over here, buddy.
785
00:54:18,964 --> 00:54:20,549
Almost done.
786
00:54:21,592 --> 00:54:22,968
Thanks, cliff.
787
00:54:23,135 --> 00:54:24,553
No need, kid.
788
00:56:26,967 --> 00:56:30,095
You made it, cliff.
789
00:56:32,097 --> 00:56:34,808
We made it.
790
00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:40,397
Cliff?
791
00:57:00,876 --> 00:57:04,880
Hell, yeah, cliff. You finally made it,
you miserable bastard.
792
00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:14,681
What's wrong with the cliffster?
793
00:57:44,336 --> 00:57:47,089
No. I told you.
I'm not crying. I don't cry.
794
00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:53,178
It's just shit like this...
It's so sad, you know?
795
00:58:59,995 --> 00:59:02,622
Hey. Goonies never say die.
796
00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:44,623
What are you doing here?
797
00:59:45,665 --> 00:59:47,834
Sorry, Michael. No, wait!
798
00:59:50,212 --> 00:59:52,547
Nice place you had here.
799
00:59:54,466 --> 00:59:58,595
Jazz to moon base two.
Old buddy, do you read me?
800
00:59:58,762 --> 01:00:01,098
He killed me.
801
01:00:02,933 --> 01:00:05,352
He killed me here. What? Who?
802
01:00:05,519 --> 01:00:09,523
Ellie's dad. He shot me right there.
803
01:00:09,689 --> 01:00:11,274
Huh? Wait a minute.
804
01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:15,028
Ok, so this chick you're crazy about,
her dad had you killed?
805
01:00:15,195 --> 01:00:18,365
I think the idea of a happy ending's
just taken a straight nosedive, man.
806
01:00:20,909 --> 01:00:22,994
And what? Did you pop
her cherry or something?
807
01:00:23,161 --> 01:00:25,997
I popped a lot of cherries
but I never got killed for it.
808
01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:30,043
Here eerneth the leernert.
809
01:00:30,210 --> 01:00:31,795
Oh, shit.
810
01:00:31,962 --> 01:00:34,923
What?
Yep, the toolbox squad is here.
811
01:00:35,090 --> 01:00:36,508
We gotta go.
812
01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:39,344
Ok. Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy.
814
01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:45,952
They're just outside.
815
01:00:45,976 --> 01:00:47,352
Shut up, Gillman.
816
01:00:47,519 --> 01:00:49,020
I don't think they saw me.
817
01:00:49,187 --> 01:00:51,398
Whoa! Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.
818
01:00:51,565 --> 01:00:53,108
Damn it!
-Here comes the boom.
819
01:00:59,072 --> 01:01:01,241
Vvhoa. Vvhoa!
820
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:06,955
Keep on running. Come on, boy.
821
01:01:07,122 --> 01:01:08,790
Stay. Stay. What are you doing?
822
01:01:08,957 --> 01:01:10,959
Give me a sec.
No. They're right behind us.
823
01:01:11,126 --> 01:01:12,752
Jesus Christ, man, I just got shot.
824
01:01:12,919 --> 01:01:14,921
It's not like we know
where we're going anyway.
825
01:01:15,088 --> 01:01:16,715
No. Actually, yeah, we do. Look.
826
01:01:16,882 --> 01:01:18,592
I found this. What the hell is this?
827
01:01:18,758 --> 01:01:20,260
It's my reunion. Ellie will be there.
828
01:01:20,427 --> 01:01:21,928
How do you know that?
829
01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:24,556
You don't even know
if she lives in this town.
830
01:01:24,723 --> 01:01:26,433
We gotta go. We don't have time.
831
01:01:33,899 --> 01:01:37,319
Great. I'm glad we dressed
for the occasion.
832
01:01:37,485 --> 01:01:39,779
Alright. You can stay out here
if you want. It's ok.
833
01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:43,200
Fine. Great. Well, good.
834
01:01:43,366 --> 01:01:45,911
I wouldn't want to spoil
your romantic moment.
835
01:01:46,953 --> 01:01:48,705
Do you have something you want to say?
836
01:01:48,872 --> 01:01:49,915
I just did.
837
01:01:50,081 --> 01:01:52,310
Besides, I'd rather continue
to watch you delude yourself.
838
01:01:52,334 --> 01:01:53,710
That's an awful big word for you.
839
01:01:53,877 --> 01:01:56,213
It has to be big enough
for your big head to understand.
840
01:01:56,379 --> 01:01:57,839
I have the big head? Uh-huh.
841
01:01:58,006 --> 01:02:00,550
What about “life is a party”
and “go with the flow”, huh?
842
01:02:00,717 --> 01:02:03,196
This may have been the biggest
roller-coaster of your life, Brent,
843
01:02:03,220 --> 01:02:04,304
but I want off.
844
01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:06,348
You think I do this for myself?
845
01:02:06,514 --> 01:02:10,518
Man, I wanted to help you find
your girl. But come on. Get over it.
846
01:02:10,685 --> 01:02:12,062
How much bad shit has to happen
847
01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:14,064
before you realise
it's just not worth it?
848
01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:16,942
Cliff died, I got shot twice,
849
01:02:17,108 --> 01:02:20,153
my dick fell off and now somebody
wants to put us in the ground.
850
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,405
Somebody already did.
You know what I mean by that.
851
01:02:22,572 --> 01:02:24,241
Not now.
852
01:02:24,407 --> 01:02:28,495
Look, this chick's dad had you killed.
853
01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:30,413
Obviously, things aren't hunky-dory.
854
01:02:30,580 --> 01:02:32,332
I don't even know what we're doing here.
855
01:02:32,499 --> 01:02:34,459
I have to tell her how...
856
01:02:34,626 --> 01:02:36,836
“I have to tell her how I feel.”
857
01:02:37,003 --> 01:02:40,298
Come on, man. Do you honestly think
that she's going to love you?
858
01:02:40,465 --> 01:02:43,426
I mean, look at you.
859
01:02:48,056 --> 01:02:52,394
I don't know and I don't care, alright?
860
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:54,729
All I know is that
this is a much better plan
861
01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:56,999
than standing around here
wasting another minute with you.
862
01:02:57,023 --> 01:02:58,858
No need. Mike: Fine.
863
01:02:59,025 --> 01:03:01,111
Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.
864
01:03:01,278 --> 01:03:03,405
See ya. Wouldn't want to be ya.
865
01:03:09,119 --> 01:03:11,329
I love you too, buddy.
866
01:03:11,496 --> 01:03:13,832
But you should go with Brent, though.
867
01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:20,630
Oh, that way.
868
01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:22,799
Ok?
869
01:03:31,766 --> 01:03:36,396
Hey, how's it going?
Looking good, ladies. Looking good.
870
01:03:39,316 --> 01:03:44,863
Um, hi. Can you tell me
if Ellie Masterson is attending?
871
01:03:45,030 --> 01:03:47,949
Oh, she sure is. I just did
her name tag, like, two minutes ago.
872
01:03:48,116 --> 01:03:50,994
Oh, great.
873
01:03:55,457 --> 01:03:58,293
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's me.
874
01:03:58,460 --> 01:04:00,920
I had the biggest crush
on you sophomore year.
875
01:04:01,087 --> 01:04:03,173
Really? It's Carrie.
876
01:04:03,340 --> 01:04:07,344
We were on the debate team together.
Carrie dow.
877
01:04:07,510 --> 01:04:11,639
Carrie dow? Oh, my god.
Yeah! Carrie dow. Wow.
878
01:04:11,806 --> 01:04:13,308
The one and only. Wow. It's you.
879
01:04:13,475 --> 01:04:16,311
Carrie dow. We used
to call you 'dairy cow'.
880
01:04:18,104 --> 01:04:21,524
No. Except that we didn't.
881
01:04:21,691 --> 01:04:24,319
I... oh, god, I'm sorry. I...
882
01:04:24,486 --> 01:04:26,946
You just... you've lost a lot of weight.
883
01:04:27,113 --> 01:04:29,366
Great to see you, Mike.
884
01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:33,661
You too. I'm sorry.
885
01:04:38,083 --> 01:04:41,127
Nice.
886
01:04:51,763 --> 01:04:53,723
Roller-coaster of my life?
887
01:04:53,890 --> 01:04:56,184
He does... he does not know
anything about my life.
888
01:04:56,351 --> 01:04:59,229
I had a lot of interesting things
going on when I was doing stuff.
889
01:04:59,396 --> 01:05:01,689
I don't need him.
890
01:05:01,856 --> 01:05:05,235
We don't need him
dragging our ass down, right?
891
01:05:16,371 --> 01:05:18,248
Yeah, yeah. I know.
892
01:05:22,710 --> 01:05:24,754
Mike! Hey, Mike.
893
01:05:24,921 --> 01:05:27,424
Hey, bro. It's been a long time.
894
01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:29,801
Rob! Yeah. How you doing, man?
895
01:05:29,968 --> 01:05:32,095
Rob, wow. How are you? Yeah. Oh, ok.
896
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:33,805
How are you doing?
Yeah. Awesome.
897
01:05:33,972 --> 01:05:35,348
How's it going?
898
01:05:35,515 --> 01:05:37,267
Oh, you know, good. Good.
899
01:05:37,434 --> 01:05:38,810
How have you been? Good. Good.
900
01:05:38,977 --> 01:05:42,772
Man, you look... not good. Are you sick?
You look really pale.
901
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:45,608
Oh, yeah. Just...
902
01:05:45,775 --> 01:05:47,652
I'm a zombie.
903
01:05:47,819 --> 01:05:49,612
Yeah. Totally, dude.
904
01:05:49,779 --> 01:05:51,239
That's awesome, man.
905
01:05:51,406 --> 01:05:53,032
Cooi, man.
906
01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:56,870
So are you still doing that music stuff?
907
01:05:57,036 --> 01:05:59,456
Oh, yeah, dude. Dude, big-time.
908
01:05:59,622 --> 01:06:02,184
It's actually going great. Like,
you know, the band's still together.
909
01:06:02,208 --> 01:06:04,419
We're still rocking out
with our cocks out, you know?
910
01:06:04,586 --> 01:06:06,796
Dude, marlin bar and grill
every Wednesday night.
911
01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:10,091
But only on wednesdays. Dude, man...
912
01:06:17,682 --> 01:06:20,185
Robbie, Kasey dropped a load
and it's your turn.
913
01:06:20,351 --> 01:06:21,936
Ok, hang on a sec.
914
01:06:22,103 --> 01:06:23,813
So are you...
915
01:06:23,980 --> 01:06:27,150
All I smell is shit, Rob.
Absolutely.
916
01:06:27,317 --> 01:06:29,611
Rob! Urn...
917
01:06:29,777 --> 01:06:31,863
Ok, give him here. I'll take him.
Woman: Thank you.
918
01:06:33,114 --> 01:06:34,949
Hi.
919
01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:37,160
What, a poo, huh?
Yeah. Like father, like son.
920
01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:40,914
Hey, I want to introduce... oh.
921
01:06:48,546 --> 01:06:50,131
Oh! Oh, my god.
922
01:06:50,298 --> 01:06:53,259
Alright. I'm gonna say it. Alright.
923
01:07:00,266 --> 01:07:01,809
Oh! Oh, ok.
924
01:07:01,976 --> 01:07:03,895
Um, excuse me. Um, sorry.
925
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,237
Come on, dude. Pull together.
926
01:07:14,405 --> 01:07:16,199
Alright. Come on.
927
01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:20,411
Hey, Ellie. So what's new
with you, huh? What's up?
928
01:07:20,578 --> 01:07:25,542
Me? Oh, nah. Detachable arm.
It falls off.
929
01:07:25,708 --> 01:07:27,877
Seriously, man.
930
01:07:30,463 --> 01:07:34,592
You cannot go out there
and talk to her like this.
931
01:07:34,759 --> 01:07:38,263
Joey the seal needs to drain the chubster.
932
01:07:46,271 --> 01:07:47,772
Yep, there they are.
933
01:07:47,939 --> 01:07:51,067
I wonder if I just...
934
01:07:51,234 --> 01:07:52,944
Get down, man.
935
01:07:58,074 --> 01:08:02,453
“I can't keep pretending.
I love you, big daddy.”
936
01:08:02,620 --> 01:08:05,665
“Well, where's the big dildo,
mr delicious?”
937
01:08:05,832 --> 01:08:08,501
“Well, it's right over there.”
938
01:08:11,004 --> 01:08:14,632
There's only room for one bad-ass
and it's me on this fucking trip.
939
01:08:16,509 --> 01:08:19,304
Wait. Where's the little guy?
940
01:08:22,765 --> 01:08:26,436
Spread them zombie toes
and stay still.
941
01:08:26,603 --> 01:08:30,315
Remember me, asshole?
942
01:08:30,481 --> 01:08:34,944
Yeah, I do. I've seen you, like, twice
in the last two days, shit bag.
943
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:37,405
Well, well.
944
01:08:40,074 --> 01:08:43,745
What have we here?
945
01:08:51,044 --> 01:08:53,546
Yeah, yeah, it's good to see you too.
946
01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:58,676
Uh-huh. 'Bye.
947
01:09:00,845 --> 01:09:02,263
Well...
948
01:09:02,430 --> 01:09:04,724
Vvhoa.Vvhoa.
949
01:09:04,891 --> 01:09:09,020
Oh. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, sorry.
I'm so sorry. You just...
950
01:09:09,187 --> 01:09:11,856
You just kind of scared me there...
951
01:09:12,023 --> 01:09:13,463
For a second.
952
01:09:13,566 --> 01:09:15,652
What? What? What?
953
01:09:15,818 --> 01:09:17,695
I can't hear you with that thing on.
954
01:09:17,862 --> 01:09:19,238
Oh, no, no.
955
01:09:19,405 --> 01:09:21,324
No. It'll destroy the illusion.
956
01:09:21,491 --> 01:09:25,078
Of what? That you're a grown man
in a seal costume?
957
01:09:25,244 --> 01:09:26,913
Yeah, it makes quite an impression.
958
01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:32,543
Sometimes I think things and they
just kind of shoot out my mouth.
959
01:09:39,550 --> 01:09:41,761
And you are? I'm John.
960
01:09:41,928 --> 01:09:44,138
John Connor.
961
01:09:48,434 --> 01:09:50,103
How are you enjoying the reunion?
962
01:09:50,269 --> 01:09:53,981
Urn, it's going ok.
963
01:09:54,148 --> 01:09:58,444
I mean, I flew in from out of town,
so I guess I wanted to come.
964
01:09:58,611 --> 01:10:02,115
Now that I'm here,
I realise I'm glad I left.
965
01:10:04,325 --> 01:10:06,202
High school.
966
01:10:07,995 --> 01:10:09,455
How about you?
967
01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:11,249
How about me what? The reunion.
968
01:10:11,416 --> 01:10:13,668
You run into any of
your old girlfriends?
969
01:10:17,255 --> 01:10:22,260
No, actually. I only had one girlfriend
when I was in school.
970
01:10:22,427 --> 01:10:24,071
Well, that outfit's
not exactly pimp gear, so...
971
01:10:24,095 --> 01:10:26,139
Yeah.no.
972
01:10:26,305 --> 01:10:28,099
She must have been something else.
973
01:10:30,059 --> 01:10:34,355
Yeah, she was great.
974
01:10:34,522 --> 01:10:36,649
What did you say your name was again?
975
01:10:36,816 --> 01:10:39,569
Dj: Sending transmissions
live from dance land,
976
01:10:39,736 --> 01:10:43,322
it's the south Campbell
1999 high school reunion.
977
01:10:45,450 --> 01:10:48,870
We're gonna slow things down
for all you lovebirds out there.
978
01:10:49,036 --> 01:10:51,581
Find that special someone and make magic.
979
01:10:51,748 --> 01:10:54,667
Hey, you want to dance?
What? With me?
980
01:10:54,834 --> 01:10:57,086
Yes, you. Come on.
981
01:11:03,134 --> 01:11:05,386
So what about you?
982
01:11:07,889 --> 01:11:11,726
Did you run into any old boyfriends or...
983
01:11:11,893 --> 01:11:16,814
No, I actually only had one and he is...
984
01:11:17,899 --> 01:11:20,443
Definitely not here.
985
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:24,447
Actually, you might know him.
Mike Kellerman?
986
01:11:24,614 --> 01:11:28,534
Um... oh, my gosh.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
987
01:11:28,701 --> 01:11:32,288
Mike. Mike Kellerman. Yeah.
Great guy. Love him. Awesome.
988
01:11:32,455 --> 01:11:35,500
Yeah. Yeah. Dark hair. Glasses.
989
01:11:35,666 --> 01:11:38,294
Kind of nerdy-looking.
990
01:11:40,129 --> 01:11:42,507
So what about you?
991
01:11:42,673 --> 01:11:45,551
Oh. Me? What about me?
992
01:11:45,718 --> 01:11:47,512
What do you these days?
993
01:11:47,678 --> 01:11:52,016
Er... I drive... drive cross-country.
994
01:11:52,183 --> 01:11:53,559
Oh. Like a truck driver?
995
01:11:53,726 --> 01:11:55,478
Yeah. Yeah. I'm a truck driver.
996
01:11:56,604 --> 01:11:58,314
Do you love it?
997
01:11:58,481 --> 01:12:02,151
Um, it's horrible, actually. Yeah.
998
01:12:07,114 --> 01:12:08,783
To tell you the truth...
999
01:12:11,828 --> 01:12:14,121
I miss y...
1000
01:12:15,790 --> 01:12:19,877
Uh, the old days, you know...
1001
01:12:21,087 --> 01:12:22,797
The way things used to be.
1002
01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:28,052
I... I want them back.
1003
01:12:29,637 --> 01:12:32,932
I want them back more than anything.
1004
01:12:33,099 --> 01:12:36,477
Well, if you want something that bad,
you gotta go after it.
1005
01:12:36,644 --> 01:12:38,271
Yeah.
1006
01:12:39,313 --> 01:12:41,983
Sorry. I'm preaching to you.
1007
01:12:42,149 --> 01:12:44,610
I don't know what
I want to do with my life
1008
01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:47,071
and here I am telling you
what to do with yours.
1009
01:12:47,238 --> 01:12:50,324
No, no, no, no.
You're absolutely right.
1010
01:12:50,491 --> 01:12:52,251
That's... that's what
I always loved about...
1011
01:12:52,368 --> 01:12:56,330
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's time to pick this party back up.
1012
01:12:56,497 --> 01:12:58,297
That's what I always loved about you.
1013
01:13:03,671 --> 01:13:05,965
Let's go.
1014
01:13:14,265 --> 01:13:17,018
Come on. Just let me talk to her
and then you can have me.
1015
01:13:17,184 --> 01:13:18,561
We're not monsters.
1016
01:13:18,728 --> 01:13:20,730
I don't care what the hell you are.
1017
01:13:20,897 --> 01:13:23,774
I really don't. Ow.
1018
01:13:27,403 --> 01:13:28,946
I don't care.
1019
01:13:30,656 --> 01:13:32,742
Don't even breathe.
I really don't need to. Thanks.
1020
01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:34,577
I can't believe you touched it.
1021
01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:38,039
Gillman, shut the fuck up.
1022
01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:43,002
And you, you just give me
one good reason, buddy,
1023
01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:46,797
why I shouldn't put my piece
in your mouth and unload.
1024
01:13:46,964 --> 01:13:49,383
That's the best gay phone sex
I've ever had.
1026
01:13:54,347 --> 01:13:56,265
You little sonofabiteh.
1027
01:13:56,432 --> 01:13:58,059
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!
1028
01:14:00,645 --> 01:14:03,064
You don't screw with the pooch, my friend.
1029
01:14:03,230 --> 01:14:05,483
Say 'cheese'i what?
1030
01:14:07,985 --> 01:14:09,445
Shit!
1031
01:14:09,612 --> 01:14:10,738
Whoa. Whoa.
1032
01:14:10,905 --> 01:14:13,324
No. Hit him, buddy. Get him.
1033
01:14:16,077 --> 01:14:17,828
Attaboy.
1034
01:14:19,830 --> 01:14:22,792
Hey. Whoa. Whoa.
Don't lose the little one.
1035
01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:25,439
He's getting away,
cheese. He's gonna get away.
1036
01:14:45,356 --> 01:14:47,900
Cheese!
1037
01:14:52,571 --> 01:14:57,118
No. Bad.
1039
01:15:01,038 --> 01:15:03,124
booyah!
1040
01:15:03,290 --> 01:15:05,209
No!
1041
01:15:19,974 --> 01:15:22,768
Oh, no. No, no, no.
No, cheese. Hey, buddy. Hey.
1042
01:15:22,935 --> 01:15:24,454
Hey. Hey, cheese.
-Hey. Hey.
1043
01:15:24,478 --> 01:15:26,022
Hey. Hey, cheese.
1044
01:15:26,188 --> 01:15:27,773
Good boy! Everything's ok, man.
1045
01:15:27,940 --> 01:15:29,567
Everything's ok.
1046
01:15:29,734 --> 01:15:31,318
Cheese? Cheese.
1047
01:15:31,485 --> 01:15:33,988
Mike: Buddy, no.
1048
01:15:35,156 --> 01:15:38,409
Come on, buddy. No, no.
No, no.No.No.
1049
01:15:40,995 --> 01:15:42,455
Hey, come on.
1050
01:15:42,621 --> 01:15:44,415
Come on, buddy.
1051
01:15:45,458 --> 01:15:47,043
Come on.
1052
01:15:57,511 --> 01:16:02,224
Deal done, mr Jeremiah.
Your money and freedom await.
1053
01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:13,194
Oh. Has the rate
of deterioration stabilised?
1054
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:15,279
Mike, you alright, buddy?
1055
01:16:15,446 --> 01:16:18,240
Yeah, I'm good, I think.
1056
01:16:18,407 --> 01:16:22,036
You don't like me very much, do you?
1057
01:16:22,203 --> 01:16:25,998
You killed me. I was going to marry her
and you killed me.
1058
01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:30,503
Then why bring me back, huh?
1059
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:33,881
Meat for the grinder?
We save a few pennies?
1060
01:16:34,048 --> 01:16:36,258
No, I never thought
we'd be here like this.
1061
01:16:36,425 --> 01:16:38,469
Ha! I guess I owe the both of you.
1062
01:16:38,636 --> 01:16:40,262
Eat my ass, Chuck.
1063
01:16:40,429 --> 01:16:42,598
What kind of person does that
to his own daughter?
1064
01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:46,060
I mean, why wouldn't you want her
to be happy? I love her.
1065
01:16:47,103 --> 01:16:50,439
I love her too. She deserves better.
1066
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:53,526
I mean, what could you possibly
have offered her, Michael?
1067
01:16:53,692 --> 01:16:55,903
You think you're nothing now,
but you were always that.
1068
01:16:56,070 --> 01:16:58,823
Mike, don't listen to this ass-clown.
1069
01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:04,912
Just a kid with his head in the clouds.
1070
01:17:05,955 --> 01:17:07,790
And if you don't believe me,
believe her.
1071
01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:12,211
“Dear Mike, I'm sorry to do this to you
1072
01:17:12,378 --> 01:17:15,422
“but I'm not sure of any other way
to do it right now.
1073
01:17:15,589 --> 01:17:18,592
“I've been thinking this for a long time
and I realise something...
1074
01:17:18,759 --> 01:17:20,886
We've known each other our entire lives
1075
01:17:21,053 --> 01:17:25,641
and it's been amazing, but I don't know
anything else other than you.
1076
01:17:25,808 --> 01:17:29,478
I'm so proud of you for getting
your novel into that writing program.
1077
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:34,066
The world is waiting for you
and it's waiting for me too,
1078
01:17:34,233 --> 01:17:38,028
and that's why I have to say 'bye now.
1079
01:17:38,195 --> 01:17:42,491
It's going to take time, but I have to
learn not to love you, Michael.
1080
01:17:42,658 --> 01:17:44,535
Goodbye.
1081
01:17:49,915 --> 01:17:51,667
Sorry, Michael.
1082
01:17:52,710 --> 01:17:56,213
Wish I would have known how
my daughter felt about you before
1083
01:17:56,380 --> 01:17:59,383
and it could have saved me
all the trouble of shooting you.
1084
01:17:59,550 --> 01:18:04,430
But I guess things work out
in the end, don't they?
1085
01:18:05,514 --> 01:18:07,474
Well, gentlemen, it's been illuminating.
1086
01:18:07,641 --> 01:18:10,728
I'll see you all in the lab on Monday.
1087
01:18:12,771 --> 01:18:14,982
Emily! Mm...
1088
01:18:40,424 --> 01:18:43,219
Well, I guess you're a free man now.
1089
01:18:44,386 --> 01:18:47,306
They told us we're going to be
escorting you back into town.
1090
01:18:48,349 --> 01:18:51,393
I just... I wanted to say it's been
really an honour working with you,
1091
01:18:51,560 --> 01:18:53,938
you know,
while mcdoucheball isn't around.
1092
01:18:54,104 --> 01:18:56,065
So what's going to happen to them?
1093
01:18:57,399 --> 01:18:58,901
They're going back to hq.
1094
01:18:59,068 --> 01:19:02,821
I don't know. We'll be
heading out in a minute.
1095
01:19:19,296 --> 01:19:21,173
In your area.
1096
01:19:24,718 --> 01:19:27,054
You ready?
Like a fat chick on prom night.
1097
01:19:27,221 --> 01:19:30,224
Except that we got ourselves
some new orders.
1098
01:19:30,391 --> 01:19:32,142
What? That's right.
1099
01:19:32,309 --> 01:19:33,686
Boss man don't like loose ends,
1100
01:19:33,852 --> 01:19:35,813
and apparently we got one
in that convict.
1101
01:19:35,980 --> 01:19:39,358
You and me, we're taking him on a ride
that he ain't coming back from,
1102
01:19:39,525 --> 01:19:41,610
a little rin tin tin type of ride.
1103
01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:46,949
What are we? The mafia?
I'm not killing anybody.
1104
01:19:47,116 --> 01:19:50,786
Gillman, would you shut the fuck up
and just do the job?
1105
01:19:50,953 --> 01:19:54,999
I mean, are we gonna
have a problem here?
1106
01:19:55,165 --> 01:19:59,878
He did his job. He took care of
his part of the bargain. Why can't we?
1107
01:20:00,045 --> 01:20:02,631
I mean, I'm not going
to let you do this.
1108
01:20:03,674 --> 01:20:06,218
That is the last vagina monologue
1109
01:20:06,385 --> 01:20:09,638
I want to hear coming
out of your mouth.
1110
01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:12,391
Yeah, great. After the lab,
we should grab a couple of cold ones.
1111
01:20:12,558 --> 01:20:14,727
Maybe we can get susie
over in R&D to come out,
1112
01:20:14,893 --> 01:20:17,521
do a little R&D on her,
if you know what I'm saying, man.
1113
01:20:17,688 --> 01:20:19,982
Great. I'll run it by Bob.
Over and out.
1114
01:20:20,149 --> 01:20:22,151
Hey, Bob. You down for grabbing a few?
1115
01:20:37,166 --> 01:20:40,627
“Why are you so stupid, Emily?
What's your problem, Emily?”
1116
01:20:40,794 --> 01:20:43,630
Blah, blah, blah.
“Do this, Emily. I suck.”
1117
01:20:47,843 --> 01:20:49,636
Hello, sir.
1118
01:20:49,803 --> 01:20:53,515
Gillman, get the fuck out of my way.
I'm relieving you of this mission.
1119
01:20:55,351 --> 01:20:56,769
What?
1120
01:20:56,935 --> 01:20:58,812
I said no.
1121
01:20:59,938 --> 01:21:02,941
Well...
1122
01:21:07,780 --> 01:21:10,366
Sonofabitch!
1123
01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:20,667
Sir...
1124
01:21:23,045 --> 01:21:27,341
Looks like we got ourselves
an old-fashioned team-up here. Nice.
1125
01:21:27,508 --> 01:21:29,718
Alright, so where does
this girl of yours live?
1126
01:21:29,885 --> 01:21:32,221
Pull over. Let me out. What?
1127
01:21:32,388 --> 01:21:34,306
Yeah, what the hell are you talking about?
1128
01:21:34,473 --> 01:21:37,893
I mean, this is nuts, Brent.
What are we doing? I...
1129
01:21:38,936 --> 01:21:40,437
It's over.
Is this about the letter?
1130
01:21:40,604 --> 01:21:41,980
That's bullshit, man.
1131
01:21:42,147 --> 01:21:44,983
I've had restraining orders a lot worse
and that didn't stop me.
1132
01:21:45,150 --> 01:21:47,111
She deserves better than this.
1133
01:21:47,277 --> 01:21:49,113
So you're just going
to give up like that?
1134
01:21:49,279 --> 01:21:51,990
Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing.
1135
01:21:53,033 --> 01:21:55,327
Well, good.
Makes things a whole lot easier.
1136
01:21:55,494 --> 01:21:57,663
I guess we should just
lay down here and die, huh?
1137
01:21:57,830 --> 01:21:59,373
I mean, after all,
we're already dead.
1138
01:22:07,214 --> 01:22:08,590
Pull over.
1139
01:22:08,757 --> 01:22:10,134
No. Keep driving. No, pull over.
1140
01:22:10,300 --> 01:22:11,844
Keep driving. Pull over.
1141
01:22:12,010 --> 01:22:13,720
Alright. Make up your damn minds.
1142
01:22:13,887 --> 01:22:17,057
Listen, Mike, all I know is that
my best friend can't give up now
1143
01:22:17,224 --> 01:22:19,351
after everything we did to get here.
1144
01:22:19,518 --> 01:22:21,645
You might not know that she loves you,
1145
01:22:21,812 --> 01:22:23,730
but I know for damn sure
that you love her
1146
01:22:23,897 --> 01:22:26,692
and iwouldn't be any kind of best man
1147
01:22:26,859 --> 01:22:29,486
if I didn't help you
get that ring to her.
1148
01:22:30,529 --> 01:22:36,326
It's worth a shot. He who dares wins.
1149
01:22:42,791 --> 01:22:44,334
So you're my best man now, huh?
1150
01:22:44,501 --> 01:22:48,755
Abso-fucking-iutely.
1151
01:23:00,934 --> 01:23:02,519
Right there. Head him off.
1152
01:23:06,899 --> 01:23:09,193
Alright. Let's go. Move, move, move.
1153
01:23:11,528 --> 01:23:14,907
We have you trapped.
Hold position.
1154
01:23:16,533 --> 01:23:19,244
Is this all for me?
1155
01:23:25,209 --> 01:23:26,668
I think we're good.
1156
01:23:26,835 --> 01:23:28,462
What?
1157
01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:50,317
Right here. Alright.
1158
01:23:59,451 --> 01:24:00,827
Thanks, Brent. No prob.
1159
01:24:00,994 --> 01:24:02,496
Go find your girl. I will.
1160
01:24:02,663 --> 01:24:04,915
Don't be a whiny bitch about it.
Ok.
1161
01:24:05,082 --> 01:24:06,750
You'll do fine.
1162
01:25:38,008 --> 01:25:40,510
Flawless victory.
1163
01:25:40,677 --> 01:25:41,762
Brent: Hey, dipshit. Huh?
1164
01:25:41,928 --> 01:25:44,056
This is from my boy, cheese.
1165
01:25:46,850 --> 01:25:48,310
Hey, buddy. Are you ok?
1166
01:25:48,477 --> 01:25:52,356
Am I ok? You got hit by a Van.
1167
01:25:52,522 --> 01:25:54,107
Oh, that was nothing. Come on.
1168
01:25:57,986 --> 01:26:00,614
You know that shit I said about
your appearance not mattering?
1169
01:26:00,781 --> 01:26:02,240
Yeah. I might have lied.
1170
01:26:03,950 --> 01:26:05,661
Don't be mad 'cause I'm prettier than you.
1171
01:26:07,996 --> 01:26:09,373
Ok.
1172
01:26:12,709 --> 01:26:14,503
Whoa! Whoa. Coming up.
1173
01:26:14,670 --> 01:26:16,421
Ok. I'm good. I'm good.
You got it?
1174
01:26:18,340 --> 01:26:20,092
There you are.
Oh, yeah. Give me my arm.
1175
01:26:31,645 --> 01:26:33,438
I hope she's home.
1176
01:26:33,605 --> 01:26:35,023
Yeah. Yeah, that would suck.
1177
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:36,608
Oh, no. Oh, Jesus.
1178
01:26:36,775 --> 01:26:39,528
No, no. How do I look?
Anything in my teeth?
1179
01:26:39,695 --> 01:26:41,822
No. You're fine.
Looks good. You're good.
1180
01:26:41,988 --> 01:26:44,157
Alright. Thanks, buddy. Ok.
1181
01:26:45,367 --> 01:26:47,369
Mike... Mike: Ellie.
1182
01:26:47,536 --> 01:26:49,896
I have to tell you something.
Oh, god! What happened to you?
1183
01:26:50,038 --> 01:26:52,582
Go inside. Go inside, Ellie.
1184
01:26:52,749 --> 01:26:54,167
What? No! What...
1185
01:26:54,334 --> 01:26:57,337
Listen to me, pumpkin.
These guys are dangerous.
1186
01:26:57,504 --> 01:26:59,715
They'll do harm to you
and they'll do harm to me.
1187
01:26:59,881 --> 01:27:03,135
No, you've got to listen to me.
Hey. It's ok, sir.
1188
01:27:03,301 --> 01:27:05,429
I just need a minute
of her time, alright?
1189
01:27:05,595 --> 01:27:08,807
You owe me that.
You shot me in the face, so...
1190
01:27:08,974 --> 01:27:12,018
Fuck. I promise.
1191
01:27:19,401 --> 01:27:21,403
Here goes.
1192
01:27:25,741 --> 01:27:29,077
Ok.
1193
01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:32,706
Um, I don't know how to say it,
so I'll just say it.
1194
01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:34,791
I died. We died.
1195
01:27:34,958 --> 01:27:40,046
Actually, your dad killed me
and turned me into a zombie
1196
01:27:40,213 --> 01:27:42,883
for some sort of military agenda
that I don't really understand.
1197
01:27:43,049 --> 01:27:44,843
Not cool, man.
1198
01:27:45,010 --> 01:27:46,720
And then he sent
his cronies after us,
1199
01:27:46,887 --> 01:27:49,848
including that fuck face right there
that Brent knocked the shit out of.
1200
01:27:50,015 --> 01:27:53,101
Mike, I... no, it's ok. Um.
1201
01:27:53,268 --> 01:27:55,937
It's kind of funny.
1202
01:27:56,980 --> 01:28:00,567
If your dad had
had a little bit more Patience,
1203
01:28:00,734 --> 01:28:03,069
he would have realised
that you didn't want me anymore
1204
01:28:03,236 --> 01:28:05,197
and I might still be alive.
1205
01:28:05,363 --> 01:28:07,908
But it's fine. It's fine.
1206
01:28:08,074 --> 01:28:12,037
What's done is done
and all that matters is that...
1207
01:28:14,247 --> 01:28:16,249
Is that I'm here right now.
1208
01:28:22,255 --> 01:28:25,759
I know, Ellie, that I could never
offer you anything in the world
1209
01:28:25,926 --> 01:28:30,764
and I can't offer you anything now,
but I'm not asking for anything.
1210
01:28:33,183 --> 01:28:35,310
I just...
1211
01:28:37,020 --> 01:28:39,105
I had to see you one last time...
1212
01:28:40,482 --> 01:28:45,028
And I had to be sure that
you knew how much I loved you...
1213
01:28:48,907 --> 01:28:51,201
How much I still love you.
1214
01:29:10,804 --> 01:29:12,806
This is for you...
1215
01:29:15,642 --> 01:29:18,562
To remember me.
1216
01:29:22,148 --> 01:29:24,651
Oh, god. I got you. I got you.
1217
01:29:27,612 --> 01:29:29,739
Goodbye, Ellie.
1218
01:29:33,743 --> 01:29:37,122
Alright. I'm all yours.
1219
01:29:49,134 --> 01:29:51,428
That was amazing.
1220
01:29:51,595 --> 01:29:53,513
Did she watch me walk away?
1221
01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:55,974
I think she's looking at me.
1222
01:29:57,976 --> 01:30:00,979
This is a little too Sundance
and butch Cassidy for me.
1223
01:30:01,146 --> 01:30:02,731
Yeah.
1224
01:30:06,026 --> 01:30:09,029
Wait! Oh, thank god.
1225
01:30:14,868 --> 01:30:16,703
I love you too.
1226
01:30:16,870 --> 01:30:19,247
Really? Yes.
1227
01:30:19,414 --> 01:30:23,168
Don't make me say it again
in front of all these people.
1228
01:30:25,420 --> 01:30:27,631
I never wanted to leave you, Mike.
1229
01:30:27,797 --> 01:30:30,425
I just didn't want you to give up
on your dreams for me.
1230
01:30:30,592 --> 01:30:31,968
But I didn't need to go.
1231
01:30:32,135 --> 01:30:36,389
I've just lived through
the craziest story ever
1232
01:30:36,556 --> 01:30:41,227
and I think I've just thought
of the perfect ending.
1233
01:30:56,743 --> 01:30:59,037
Ellie, this is Brent.
1234
01:30:59,204 --> 01:31:00,747
Very nice to meet you, Brent.
1235
01:31:00,914 --> 01:31:02,540
Likewise, beautiful lady.
1236
01:31:04,376 --> 01:31:08,672
This is great, isn't it?
Look at this. Look at this.
1237
01:31:08,838 --> 01:31:10,298
Oh, come on, everybody.
1238
01:31:10,465 --> 01:31:14,260
You gotta give the audience
what they want, huh? Come on.
1239
01:31:24,688 --> 01:31:26,147
Song: J' fading out
1240
01:31:26,314 --> 01:31:31,611
j' gonna send the train out tonight
1241
01:31:31,778 --> 01:31:35,073
I how do we reach the start
1242
01:31:35,240 --> 01:31:38,493
I if we don't say hi?
1243
01:31:38,660 --> 01:31:42,789
I how do we reach the start
1244
01:31:42,956 --> 01:31:45,375
I if we don't say hi?
1245
01:31:45,542 --> 01:31:49,629
J' reach the start if we don't
1246
01:31:49,796 --> 01:31:55,635
j' say hi
1247
01:31:55,802 --> 01:31:58,054
I come on, just say hi
1248
01:32:10,025 --> 01:32:11,735
J' afraid... j'
1249
01:32:11,901 --> 01:32:14,279
ooh. That hurt.
1250
01:32:14,446 --> 01:32:18,283
Oh, my god! Do you love it?
1251
01:32:18,450 --> 01:32:22,078
It's like eating a snow cone
with goat ball hair all over it.
1252
01:32:23,288 --> 01:32:28,793
I so take the time to know
just what it means... j“
1253
01:32:31,921 --> 01:32:33,715
I don't know what the hell's going on.
1254
01:32:36,468 --> 01:32:38,136
I love you too.
1255
01:32:42,974 --> 01:32:44,934
Oh, shit balls.
1256
01:32:45,101 --> 01:32:49,314
You fucking disgust me,
you fuck fuck fuck.
1257
01:32:52,275 --> 01:32:55,153
I just feel so gay on that one.
1258
01:32:55,320 --> 01:32:57,655
16. Take five.
1259
01:32:57,822 --> 01:33:00,658
Hold on. I wasn't ready. I'm sorry.
1260
01:33:06,081 --> 01:33:09,209
Oh, I don't have my glasses on.
Fuck and balls. Sorry.
1261
01:33:09,375 --> 01:33:13,379
Oh, sonofabitch.
I don't have my glasses on.
1262
01:33:13,546 --> 01:33:15,924
Temple of boom.
1263
01:33:16,091 --> 01:33:18,343
Daddy wants some mashed potatoes.
1264
01:33:18,510 --> 01:33:21,096
What the hell was that?
1265
01:33:27,393 --> 01:33:32,023
Don't have a clue what I'm supposed to
say right now. Thank Jesus.
1266
01:33:32,190 --> 01:33:34,984
Not like any person in their right mind
would pick up assholes like...
1267
01:33:35,151 --> 01:33:38,154
Fucking ball sac in my mouth. Ok.
1268
01:33:38,321 --> 01:33:39,697
I fucking love you.
1269
01:33:39,864 --> 01:33:41,616
I want to have your babies.
Donkey balls.
1270
01:33:41,783 --> 01:33:43,910
Vagina mcvaginastein.
1271
01:33:44,077 --> 01:33:47,205
Lick me, baby, you sonofabitch.
1272
01:33:49,582 --> 01:33:52,836
You shut your fucking
mouth, you zombie-loving convict
1273
01:33:53,002 --> 01:33:57,215
with your wife-beater, Stanley Kowalski,
'taxi driver' bullshit.
1274
01:34:00,552 --> 01:34:05,682
I say hi, say hi, say hi
1275
01:34:05,849 --> 01:34:08,726
j' yeah. I
87005
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