All language subtitles for Cleaning.Up.S01E01.Episode.1.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP.5.1.H.264-CHDWEB_track3_[eng]

[reporter] A very good morning to you all.

It's Charlotte here
with your breakfast news.

-Another fine day…
-[reporter 2] A clear and frosty start.

It will be dry with plenty of…

[reporter 3] …growing anger
around banks rewarding their top staff.

[politician] I think work is
the best route out of poverty.

And as we look at how…

[reporter 4] …a short time ago
was up 34 points at 66.20.

Over to the city now for the latest
business news with Michael.

Michael, what are the headlines?

["Clean Up Woman" playing]

♪ A clean up woman
Is a woman who ♪

♪ Gets all the love
We girls leave behind ♪

♪ The reason I know
So much about her ♪

♪ Is because she picked up
A man of mine ♪

♪ Jumpin' slick was my ruin ♪

♪ 'Cause, I found out all I was doin' ♪

♪ Was making it easy ♪

[music continues through phone]

♪ For the clean up woman ♪

[pants]

♪ To get my man's love ♪

♪ Oh, yeah
Just making it easy ♪

♪ For the clean up woman ♪

-How is it? You get it up?
-No, it's a stain. It won't come up.

-That's why they're called stains, Viktor.
-You need to scrub it harder.

-The traders are coming.
-[sighs] No, I need to go home.

-I told you I need to leave on time today.
-Okay, when stain is gone, then you go.

♪ The clean up woman
Will wipe his blues away ♪

♪ She'll give him plenty lovin'
24 hours a day ♪

♪ The clean up woman
She'll sweep him off his feet ♪

♪ She's the one who'll take him in
When you dump him in the street ♪

♪ So take a tip
You better get hip ♪

♪ To the clean up woman ♪

♪ 'Cause she's tough
I mean, she really cleans up… ♪

Ow! Idiot.

♪ I took this man's love
And put it on the shelf ♪

♪ And like a fool
I thought I had him all to myself ♪

♪ She's the one who'll take him in
When you dump him in the street ♪

♪ So take a tip… ♪

[electronic voice] Spin again.

♪ You better get hip… ♪

♪ To the clean up woman
'Cause she's tough ♪

♪ I mean, she really cleans up ♪

[dog barking]

-Girls!
-["September" playing on radio]

Come on, we're late!
Will you turn that music off, please?

[sighs] Come on!

Mum, you haven't washed my leotard.
I can't wear it, it stinks.

Well, look, I haven't got
any washing powder at the minute,

so, you're just gonna have
to spray some deodorant on it

or something, all right?

I thought you were cleaning one
of your posher houses this morning.

They make you get dressed up for it now?

No, 'cause I've got to see
your dad. Come on, please, Lily!

♪ Remember how we knew love was here… ♪

-Turn that off. Come on, girls.
-♪ To stay… ♪

We haven't got time for this. Girls.

-I'm serious now, come on. [grunts]
-[giggles]

♪ The love that we shared in September… ♪

All right, go on, then. Spin round.

-Come on, turn it off, please.
-No.

Get your coats on.

♪ …Today ♪

I'm working again tonight.
So you'll have to come straight home

-after dance class to watch Lily.
-But I had plans tonight.

What, plans with this Jake?

Well, you're not going out.

What's a 17-year-old doing with a girl
two years younger, anyway?

-Is he a pedo or something?
-Mum!

If he touches you,
I'll chop his bloody willy off.

-[giggles]
-[phone beeping]

-Just be careful, okay?
-Okay.

[student] Bye, Mum!

-[parent] Lily, put that away now, please.
-Just a minute.

Put it away or I'll take it off you, okay?

I gave you that phone
so you could speak to me

if you needed anything, not to play games.

Now, come on, out you get, I'm in a rush.

Okay, love you both!

"Yeah, love you too, Mum."

-[phone rings]
-[sighs]

[ominous music playing]

[electronic voice]
Place your bets, please.

[roulette wheel spinning on phone]

[electronic voice] 30, red. Spin again.

-[horn honks]
-Oh.

-[phone beeps]
-[upbeat music plays]

-[electronic voice] Player wins.
-[crashes]

Oh, shit!

What are you doing?

-No!
-Sorry, mate! It's just a little bump!

-I'm sure you'll get over it.
-[driver] Oi!

-[breathes deeply]
-[driver] Come back!

Shit.

[panting] Five quid? Oh, for fu--

Where the hell have you been?
She's down there waiting for us.

Bloody supervisor always keeping me
behind. What's in the folder?

Just some things I need.
You're 40 minutes late.

Great. Plenty of time for a pee, then.

You-- [sighs]

[sighs]

[exhales]

So, what we must remember
at all times during our discussion

is why we're here.

Alice and Lily.

And that's why I've written
their names on the board.

Okay, so, who wants to get
the ball rolling today?

Um, I think maybe I should.
I have something I wanna say.

Okay. Great.

Right.

Well, the thing is,
with the girls, I just--

I don't-- I don't see how it's gonna work.

[stammers] How what's gonna work?

What we talked about, you know,
splitting the time between the two of us…

I just think that…

[sighs] I--

-You know--
-Oh, for God's sake, spit it out!

I think the girls should come
and live with me full time.

What?

-I just think that's what's best for them.
-Not living with their mum,

-you think that's what's best for them?
-Wait a minute, Sam.

-Let Dave finish.
-Look, you can't look after them properly.

We've already talked about that
zero hours contract you're on.

You have sex in our bed with another woman
and you think you're taking

-the girls off me?
-I shouldn't have done that.

But we're both at fault here.

The girls need to come and live
with me, and that is the only option.

Dave, why do you feel the girls
have no choice but to live with you?

I-- I know we've already gone
over Sam's gambling,

-and she doesn't think it's an issue.
-[sighs] It's not. It's not.

I have a little flutter
now and again, that's all.

-Is that true?
-Yes!

[sighs]

I had my post redirected.

And I received this.

It's a court summons for a credit card
that Sam took out in my name.

A card I knew nothing about.

She's racked up over eight grand
in three months. All from gambling.

That makes it look worse than it is.
You could win that back in no time.

[Dave] Yeah, and then you'd lose it again.

I have to pay this back.

Not to mention
the 15 grand we already owe.

Plus the money I have to fork out
to keep a roof over your head.

Rent you fork out
for your daughters' heads, you mean.

But I'm not living with them, am I?
You are.

That woman is not raising my girls.
Over my dead body, is she.

[Dave] Beth is not going to replace you
as a mother.

But she's gonna be part of their lives
and you need to get used to that--

Like hell she is. You are not
taking my girls away from me.

[sniffles]

[sniffles, sighs]

[chef on TV] It's very basic,
very simple, but full of flavour.

And it's a family favourite.

It has to be every time,
on those cold, winter evenings,

this is just the sort of thing you want.

-You a bit of a fan of the hot pot?
-[presenter] I love it.

[doorbell rings]

[person] Sam, it's Warren.

[doorbell rings]

Look, I know you're in there, Sam,
'cause the telly's on.

No point hiding.

I'd like to keep things friendly, really.

[engine starts]

-[roulette wheel spinning on phone]
-[electronic voice] Spin again.

22, black, even.

-[announcer] The train's arriving…
-Jess! Jess, come on!

-Nearly missed it.
-[doors beeping]

He's not taking my kids away from me.
No way.

Why does he even think that, though?

[sighs] Well,
he thinks I'm gambling again.

Yeah, but you're not, though, are ya?

-No. Course not.
-[sighs]

Anyway, look, um, how's your mum doing?

Has she worked things out yet?

Yeah, she's all right.
But the café's struggling.

-The rent's gone up again.
-Oh.

And I think we're gonna have
to give it up.

Oh, no, such a shame.

Well, it is.

But I've got an idea.

A mobile café.

-Like the ones they have round here.
-Yeah.

You know, that way,
we can keep the business going

without having to pay
any greedy landlords.

How would you afford it, though?

Well, I've got my dad's inheritance.

It's not a lot, but I reckon
if I save a bit more,

-I reckon I could do it.
-I think it's a great idea, babe.

-Yeah? Yeah.
-Yeah, I do.

If Chris would get his arse in gear,
we could have the money in no time.

[groans] He needs a good kick
up the backside, that one.

[chuckles] Yeah, don't worry, babe,
I'm kicking it.

-[both laughing]
-[Sam] That's my girl.

-[employee] You're kidding me.
-You all right?

I ask him why can't he wait
and pee in the toilet?

He says, "Oh, it's all the same,
pipes are all going the same way."

He holds it in the shower

-and pees down the drain.
-[all laugh]

When Jess was living next door
with her boyfriend, what was his name?

-Kevin?
-Yeah.

He used to get drunk

-and pee in her wardrobe.
-Sam!

I could hear her shouting at him
through the wall. [laughs]

-In the wardrobe?
-Yeah, but only ever my side.

I'd wake up and find him
peeing all over my clothes.

-[all laughing]
-What a filthy pig.

-Mine picks his nose.
-[groans] A nose picker?

We've got one of those on our floor,

-don't we, Sam?
-Yeah. The Hoover crackles every time

-we go past the stairs.
-[groans]

So many stains to clean on your floor.
Why do they need so many?

To count all the millions they're making

-from doing bugger all.
-[scoffs]

Just a bunch of rich guys
getting paid to move

-even richer guys' money about.
-[scoffs]

[employee] Viktor, Viktor!

-Viktor.
-Oh. [clears throat] Look lively. [sighs]

Hey, Viktor, uh, I was just wondering--
Oh, have you been hitting the gym?

You're looking really big, very muscular.

Anyway, I was wondering if you had
any hours available, day shifts,

you know, toilet patrol?

[Viktor] For you? No.

I know what you did with the pen.

-What pen?
-You colour the carpet with a pen.

-It is different colour.
-[sighs]

Okay, so I improvised,
but I got rid of the stain, didn't I?

Come on, please,
I'm a little short this month.

No.

And you are now on a warning.
I'm watching you, Sam Cook.

Any more trouble and you'll be out.

[gags]

Ugh.

[electronic voice]
Welcome to Ladies' Night Casino.

-[roulette wheel spinning on phone]
-Place your bets, please.

30, red, even.

-[sighs]
-[electronic voice] Spin again.

[phone beeps]

[electronic voice] 33. Spin again.

[pop music playing through earphones]

-Hey.
-Yeah, hey.

Um, look, did you clean my office earlier?

'Cause there are still
ring marks on the desk.

Oh, you want me to wipe the desks?

That's part of cleaning, isn't it? Wiping?

-I don't touch the desks.
-[phone ringing]

I don't wanna mess anything up
'cause it looks important.

[phone continues ringing]

Just make sure
you wipe the desks, all right?

Yeah, hello?

-[person on phone] You all right?
-Yep, I'm still in the office.

There's nobody here.

[roulette wheel spinning on phone]

I think we need to slow down.

But I'm the one taking all the risk here.

Swanny, if I get caught,
it's seven years, minimum.

Yeah, well, you know what,
I don't care what the others think.

It's not a sure thing.
I'm the guy who goes down.

You all make 50 grand.

What are you saying?

So you're blackmailing me?

[Swanny] Place the investments
and I won't say anything.

[sighs] Fine. Just-- Just tell me
the company.

[Swanny] Okay. Osprex Electronics.

That's O-S-P-R-E-X. Have you got it?'

-Yeah. Yes.
-[Swanny] You sure?

Osprex Electronics. I've got it.

[broker sighs]

[Swanny] Are you sure you can handle it?

-Look, of course I can handle it.
-[Swanny] Fine. Good.

I'll call you when it's done.

[employees chattering]

[school bell rings]

Hi, Sam.

Uh, do you have a minute?
I need to speak with you about Lily.

[Sam] Oh. Yeah, okay.

[teacher] She thumped her so hard,
she broke Jadine's glasses.

She could have got
a piece stuck in her eye.

Now, I realise they were arguing
and she broke Lily's phone,

which, may I point out,
shouldn't even be in school.

Besides that, I don't think this is
the way Lily should resolve her problems.

Well, no, of course not.

She's in big trouble,
don't you worry about that.

Yes, well, um, I assume this isn't true,

but Lily says that you were the one
who told her to hit Jadine.

Me?

[teacher] Yes, she says you told her
you don't start the fights,

but you damn well finish them.

When someone hits you, you hit them back,

and she should knock Jadine's block off.

[gasps] Wh-- Absolutely not.

I would never tell her
to do anything like that.

I did say that, yes,

but what you don't do is
go telling the teacher on me, okay?

Just be good girls, please.

Don't want any more trouble
from that school. Oh--

-Great. Burnt fish fingers again.
-They're not burnt, they're fine.

[sighs]

There.

What do you say?

-Thanks, Mum.
-Yeah, thanks.

-No.
-Hey!

-No phones at the dinner table.
-I was in the middle of something.

I know what you were in the middle of.

You've got your audition
to be worrying about.

You've got the chance to be in one
of the top dance schools in England.

Don't want you throwing it away
over some boy

who's just trying to get his end away.
He's become a distraction.

Yeah, a distraction from you.

-[roulette wheel spinning on phone]
-[breathing heavily]

[electronic voice] Red, three.
Place your bets.

-[roulette wheel spinning on phone]
-Spin again.

[breathing heavily]

[electronic voice] Red, 25. Out of funds.

[Lily] Mum, look.

[sighs] Yes, darling?

-Oh, is that me in my cleaning gear?
-Yeah.

[chuckles] It's very good. [chuckles]

-[phone beeping]
-I used to have my hair long like this,

until you two girls came along.

Mum, how do I work out
the circumference of a circle again?

[Sam] Come on, you know this.

You measure the width,
to find the diameter,

-then you halve that to get the radius.
-Yeah.

So then you use that formula, 2 pi R.
R is radius.

Oh. Yep.

Mum, you should be a teacher.
You know all the answers.

Bit late for that, sweetheart.

[sighs]

Hey, why don't I see if I can get
this screen fixed for you, eh?

So, girls, I've been thinking,

how would you feel
about getting bunk beds?

-Bunk beds?
-[Sam] Yeah.

You know, with a little ladder
that you can climb up.

How cool would that be?
You can share a room together.

Share a room? What for?

[sighs] Okay, look, I need you to move
into Lily's bedroom

and I don't want any complaining about it.

I'm gonna get a lodger in.

But this has to be a secret
from your dad, okay?

It's just for a short while.

[scoffs] This is shit.

Oh. Alice.

[sighs]

[chuckles]

-[bell dings]
-[person] You all right, love?

Sorry I've been so long.

-Is everything okay?
-Yeah.

Oh, no, actually,
the grinder's been playing up again.

I think we need Tony to come in
and take another look.

Nah, just gotta poke it
with a screwdriver. It works for me.

[chuckles] Yeah, and I told you,
you shouldn't be doing that.

You gonna lose your hand
in there one of these days.

Oh, it's fine. I've still got another one.

I'll give it a poke
once I've had a cup of tea.

-[sighs]
-So?

How was he?

The same.

I don't know why I bother.

He didn't wanna talk,
just stared out the window,

watching a man cutting the grass.
[chuckles]

Riveting.

Maybe you should go and see him.

He's still your brother.

[siren wailing]

What are you doing here?

I've been trying to get hold of you,
maybe you missed my calls.

We need to talk, you got time?

No, now's not a good time.
I've gotta go to work.

I understand it must be difficult,
juggling work, looking after those girls,

but unfortunately
I really need that money.

So it'll be 17,000 you owe Mr Carter now.

What happened to our payment plan?

[scoffs]
I think my hearing aid's playing up.

You mean the one you failed to pay
for the last two months?

Look, I told you, I'm on my own now,

but I'm expecting a cheque
from my ex-husband, divorce settlement.

He owes me thousands.
As soon as that comes through,

-I'll get back on track.
-How long?

About a week or so.

Okay, when it arrives,
I want this month's payment,

plus the last two you missed.
That's £1,500. You understand?

Don't want Mr Carter
to send me to your door again.

It's not nice for either of us, is it?
It's embarrassing.

[sighs]

["I'd Rather Go Blind" playing]

♪ Something told me it was over ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ When I saw you and her talking ♪

♪ Something deep down in my soul
Said, "Cry, girl" ♪

♪ Cry, cry ♪

♪ When I saw you… ♪

[grunts, sighs]

[groans]

Come on.

[doorbell rings]

♪ …Go blind, boy ♪

[crashes]

-Yeah?
-Um, I--

-Glynn?
-Yeah, it's me, um--

-Wow, sorry, I can't believe it. Um--
-Is now a good time?

-I know you said 5:00, but--
-No, don't be silly, this is great.

Well, come in, come on. What can I get ya?
[chuckles]

-[Glynn clears throat]
-A tea? A coffee? How's your sister?

There's wardrobes here
with plenty of hangers and--

and drawers there for your socks
and pants, or whatever. [chuckles]

And the bathroom's just behind you.

Didn't you say I had my own bathroom?
I thought you said it was en suite?

Well, it sort of is en suite, isn't it?
I mean, it's right there.

Can't get much closer than that.
[chuckles]

Yeah, I suppose, yeah.

So, a PhD, eh?

A right little brainbox, ain't you?
[chuckles] Are you still into your magic?

You used to love all that.
Card tricks and whatnot.

-Uh, no. Not anymore.
-Oh. [giggles]

Um, you mentioned something
about extra storage space.

I notice that there's a shed
in the garden.

I just wondered how much space
there was. I just have a few things.

Oh, well, I can get
that shed cleared, yeah.

-What sort of stuff are we talking about?
-Uh, just a few tools, scaffold planks.

Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem.

Yeah, and a cement mixer,
small and medium-sized breakers,

two diesel-powered generators.
Some electrical cable.

Circuit board
and soldering irons, disco lights,

karaoke machine, and a set of speakers.

And, oh, yeah, three--
no-- four lawnmowers.

-What is it you need four lawnmowers for?
-Oh, I'm fixing them.

That's just what I do for money.
Helps me pay for my PhD.

Got ya. [chuckles]

What the fu--

What the hell's going on?

-[Alice] Dance got cancelled.
-[Lily] Yeah.

-Ms Winter was sick all over Vicky.
-[Dave] Called me to pick 'em up.

-They called you?
-Yes.

-Who called?
-I did.

[Lily] We went shopping and everything.

-Look what Dad got me.
-[Sam] Oh.

-This one has the best camera.
-Oh, well, that's good, then.

It was just a little £10 a month contract.
Don't worry, I'll pay for it.

Listen, I just need to have a chat
with your mum, all right?

-Okay?
-Okay.

[Dave] See you the weekend.

-Bye, Dad.
-Bye.

[chuckles]

So this is your plan now, is it?
Gonna buy their affections now?

Like I don't pay for everything as it is?
Don't paint me as a bad guy.

I'm not the one who hired
some bullshit massage therapist

for his sports injury
and then shagged her. That was you.

Well, I know we've tried this before
and you don't accept it,

but I don't know,
maybe you'll change your mind.

[scoffs]

I don't want to take them away
just to punish you.

I just don't want them getting hurt.

[sighs]

[sighs]

-[Alice] Mum!
-Oh, shit!

Sorry, darling. Hang on a minute.
[panting, sighs]

Who the hell is this
and why is he in my room?

Okay, um, look, you remember
my friend-- dance friend, Sarah?

Well, you probably don't.
Well, this is her younger brother Glynn.

He's come to look at the room.

He's really good at fixing things

and, you know,
be good to have around, right?

My dad wouldn't chuck me out
my own room. This is a joke.

[sighs] Alice.

-Sorry, sorry, sorry.
-No, don't be. Don't be.

So… Well, what do you think?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's good.

Um, I was just wondering,
is there a Nandos nearby?

Nandos? Uh, yeah, I think
there's one on the high street,

about a ten minute walk away.

[Glynn] Ten minutes?

Okay, um… Yeah, I'll take it.

-[chuckles] Oh, well, great. [chuckles]
-Yeah.

[bottle sprays]

[sighs]

Insider trading happens when somebody
with non-public information

trades on that information, makes money,

thus having an unfair advantage
over everybody else.

This highly illegal activity
can be pretty lucrative.

But if caught, comes with a punishment
of up to seven years in prison.

-Sorry, can I help you with something?
-Um, I'm looking for some info on banking.

Stocks and shares, that sort of thing.

I had a look online,
but I need more details.

-Okay, what kind of details?
-Well, how it all works, you know?

Buy, buy, buy, sell, sell, sell,
and all that. [chuckles]

[clears throat] I'm, um--
I'm looking to invest.

I see.

-Please, follow me.
-Oh, thanks.

-Where are you going?
-I'm going out.

What do you mean? You and Lily
have dance class in 20 minutes.

Yeah, I'm not doing dance anymore.
I've had enough.

-When was this decided?
-Uh, since I've been living here with you,

so I never get to do anything
'cause I always have to look after Lily.

Don't worry. I'll be home
before you have to go to work.

[Sam] Darling, listen to me,

I know you're upset
because of everything that's going on,

but none of this is anybody's fault, okay?

I think it's your fault.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Lily, what are you doing out of bed?

I can't sleep.

Well, you've got school in the morning,
darling. Go on, up you go.

What's the matter?

Come on, what is it?

We're not gonna be moving away from you.

What?

Who said that?

Heard Dad talking about maybe me
and Alice moving away with him and Beth.

But what's going to happen to you?

Come here. [chuckles]

Look, I am not going anywhere, okay?

You've got nothing to worry about.

[giggles]

Everything's gonna be fine.

[sighs]

[reporter on radio]
Business news on CB Radio.

[reporter 2] Osprex Electronics shares
have risen overnight by over 15%

as the British company merges
with American firm Panatronics.

Elsewhere, there's been a drop in Bitcoin…

No, of course it's--

That's not the issue here.

The problem is, regardless
of what this report says,

if we invest too much,
it will link back to us.

-Okay, Swanny, I'll call you back.
-[door closes]

[suspenseful music playing]

[breathing heavily]

Sorry. Thank you.

[sighs]

[sighs]

-[sucks teeth]
-[Jess] Hey, babe. I finished the kitchen.

-Are you done in there?
-I'm done. Yeah, yeah, I'm done.

Cool.

Actually, uh, do you fancy a quick drink?

-An insider trader?
-Yeah.

But I thought he was a stockbroker.

Well, he is a stockbroker,
but he's also an insider trader.

You know Gordon Gekko
in that film Wall Street?

Obviously not. Anyway,
he trades on the inside.

Inside of what?

-Inside of the information that he has.
-Well, what information?

The information, Jess.

The information he has from trading
on the inside. That's how it works.

Look, okay.

These insider traders have info
that the public don't know about.

They then invest that info
into the stock market. Bingo.

The value of whatever
they've bought goes up

'cause they knew it was gonna go up.

They have the information.
That's how it works.

-That's how they get rich.
-But how do they get the information?

Well, they share it with each other.

So, like, if somebody knows
a company's gonna get bought out,

they know their stocks will rise.

So then he passes that info on.
I mean, it's all very hush-hush.

So, it's against the law?

Oh, yeah, big-time, like,
ten years in prison.

-Very illegal.
-And the guy who always works late,

-he's doing this?
-I heard him, yeah.

So-- So what, you want to call the police?

[stammers] The police? No.

[laughs] Don't you get it?

-There is money to be made here.
-But you just told me it was illegal.

-If we get caught.
-[sighs]

But we're just a couple of cleaners.

And just think, if this does work,
you'll have the money

for your van before you know it.
No one's gonna know.

That's the kind of thing my brother
would say. And look where he is.

Oh, come on, this is totally different.

Look, why should these greedy bastards
be the ones to cut corners and get rich

and we're the ones who get shafted?

You know why? 'Cause we're scared.

So, you want us to listen
to stock market tips at the office?

-Mm-hmm.
-Well, how would we do it?

Well, I have one idea.

[Jess] You know, Alice is just
going through a phase.

Do you remember when I was younger
and I really wanted to be a roller-skater?

I thought it was going to be well cool,
and I'd skate everywhere.

And then I met Kevin Barker.
And, yeah, well, I gave up.

Skating was a lot harder
than I thought it was gonna be.

Thanks, Jess, that makes me
feel so much better.

These instructions
aren't in English, babe.

Well, I bought it real cheap on eBay.

Cost more for the postage
and packaging. [chuckles]

-[chuckles]
-Come on, I'm sure we can make this work.

Where's all the pictures?
[groans] Okay, look, let's just try.

There's the on button. Ready?

-Testing, testing, one, two, three.
-I can't hear anything.

-Total crap.
-Look, maybe if we're gonna do this,

we should do it right, and, like,
you know, pay for one that actually works?

[both laughing]

[object crashes]

[panting] Sorry, that was my fault.
I just dropped a photocopier.

It's all okay.

Yeah, it's kind of old, and a cable
had come loose during shipping,

but yeah, I think it should be okay.

-Yeah.
-What, it works?

Yeah. Um, it should be fine
for what you need, I think.

Okay, so how close do I need to get
the microphone so I can hear him?

As close as possible, but it'll pick up
anything from 10 feet quite clearly.

Well, that should be fine.
Great. Thank you.

Okay, uh, why don't I go
upstairs and demonstrate?

You use the headphones and then
you can shout up if you can hear me.

-Great idea. Okay, thanks.
-Cool.

I thought you weren't telling
anyone about this.

-We're not.
-Well, how come Glynn knows?

He doesn't.

I told him we needed the listening
device to spy on your boyfriend.

-That we think he's cheating on you.
-What?

-[chuckles]
-[Glynn] Okay, I'm in my bedroom,

talking about 5 feet from the microphone.
Shout up if you can hear me.

-You're coming through.
-What did you tell him that for?

Well, what else?
I had to come up with something.

And besides, who knows

-what your Chris gets up to. [laughs]
-Sam.

[Glynn] Okay, I'm about 10 feet
from the mic now. Can you still hear me?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you're still coming through.

I just, uh, I just wanted to say,
I'm sure you're just being paranoid, Jess.

I'd be surprised if your boyfriend
really was cheating on you.

Can't believe you told him that. Couldn't
you have thought of something else?

[laughs] What? Wh--

-Thanks so much, Glynn. That's brilliant.
-Yeah, no problem.

I could even help you plant
the microphone, if you need?

Oh, no, no, that's fine.
We can, um, handle it from here.

[chuckling]

[elevator dings]

-I'll just be another hour or two.
-[partner] I'll put your dinner on

-and leave it in the oven.
-Yeah.

-[partner] Still busy?
-Yeah, it's--

-It's crazy busy out here.
-[partner] All right, babe. Love you.

Yeah, you too.

[Jess] I don't understand.

Why can't we wait for another night?
When he's not here? That'd be easier.

No, 'cause he's working late tonight
to talk insider deals.

I wanna hear what he's saying.
If we wait, I might miss my chance.

[sighs] Looks like now's that chance.

-Wait there.
-What? No, Sam!

-Cover for me if he comes.
-[stammers, breathing heavily]

Okay. Um…

[sighs]

No, it's too big.

[panting]

[suspenseful music playing]

[grunts, sighs]

Oh, shit.

Okay.

[water running]

[groans]

[gasps]

Oh, God, come on.

[breathing heavily]

[Sam grunts]

[sighs] Yes.

[machine beeps]

Oh, hey, um,

-I haven't wiped your desk yet.
-Oh, God.

Um, I thought now might be a good time?

-[broker] Wh-- [sighs]
-Do you want me to wipe it now?

It's just, if you're busy,
it's okay. I can wait.

I just… I didn't want you
to think that I'd forgotten.

-[broker sighs]
-'Cause I hadn't-- haven't forgotten.

I just was waiting for you
to go to the toilet or something.

-Do-- Do you need the toilet?
-I've just been to the toilet.

Oh, okay.

Look, you know what, I will let you know
when I need my office cleaned.

-All right?
-[grunts] Oh, got it.

Oh, one second! [chuckles]

Um… [chuckles] …your flies…

They're fine.

Oh. [chuckles] Sorry.

[suspenseful music continues]

[music ends]

[broker] Mm-hmm. Okay.

All right. Who are you thinking?

Bevan Brothers Steel…

[through phone]
…has an imminent takeover, yeah?

-Okay. [sighs]
-Steel.

-Steel.
-[broker] I know.

I'm going to need to open more accounts.

-'Kay.
-[chuckles]

[both chuckle]

I can't believe we're actually doing this.

So, what happens now?
How do we get the money?

We'll have to set up an account
with an online broker.

They handle the transaction.
We just need to make an investment.

-Okay, so how much are we gonna invest?
-That depends on you.

[stammers] Why does it depend on me?

All my credit cards are kind of maxed out.

-So I was thinking--
-My money.

Well, yeah, you've got that money
in your savings.

Look, don't worry, okay?
This is a sure thing.

You won't lose a penny. [chuckles]

Okay, so the Bevan Brothers Steel
shares cost £10 each.

How many do we want?

Well, how about for this first time
we just be careful and just test it?

-See if it works?
-Well, test it with how many?

-How about one for now?
-One share?

-Yeah.
-Well, there's no point.

We can't waste this opportunity.
One share is no good.

How do we know for sure
it's even going to work?

"Imminent takeover." That's what he said.

We buy now, it gets announced,
and the stocks will go up.

This is what insider trading's all about.

But we're not insider traders.
We're just cleaners.

One share, £10, that's all I want to risk.

Five shares, £50.

And if it doesn't come off,
I'll pay you back. I promise.

-But it will come off.
-[sighs]

Okay, five shares.

-[giggles]
-But I want it all back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll get it.

-[computer beeps]
-What are you doing?

-What?
-That's 50.

Yeah, that's what you said, £50.

No, no, no, that's 50 shares.
That's £500. That's too much.

I already bought…
Okay, well, look, it's the same deal.

Look, please don't worry.
I will pay you back, okay?

[groans] Okay.

-[chuckles]
-So what happens now?

Well, I've placed an order,
and then we just have to, you know,

see what happens
when the takeover gets announced.

-[sighs]
-[Sam chuckles]

[both squealing]

["Money (That's What I Want)" playing]

♪ The best things in life are free ♪

♪ But you can give them
To the birds and bees ♪

-♪ I need money ♪
-♪ That's what I want ♪

♪ That's what I want ♪

[phone beeps]

♪ What I want ♪

-♪ That's what I want ♪
-♪ That's what I… ♪

-Less phone, more wipe.
-Hmm.

Wipe, wipe, wipe some.
Wipe, wipe, wipe. Phone when you finish.

♪ Money don't get everything
It's true… ♪

[electronic voice]
Place your bets, please.

♪ …I can't use
I need money ♪

-♪ That's what I want ♪
-♪ That's what I want… ♪

[electronic voice] 19. Red. Odd.

Spin again.

-♪ That's what I want ♪
-♪ That's what I want ♪

-♪ Money ♪
-♪ That's what I want ♪

-♪ Lots of money ♪
-♪ That's what I want ♪

-♪ Whole lot of money ♪
-♪ That's what I want ♪

-♪ Uh-huh ♪
-♪ That's what I want ♪

-♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
-♪ That's what I want ♪

♪ That's what I want ♪

-♪ Give me money ♪
-♪ That's what I want ♪

-♪ Oh, lots of money ♪
-♪ That's what I want ♪

-♪ All those lean greens, yeah ♪
-♪ That's what I want ♪

[music ends]

[presenter on TV, indistinct]

[Sam] Uh, come on.
It's getting late, sweetheart.

Come on, you can finish this when
you get home from school tomorrow.

Ten more minutes.

No, you've had ten more minutes.
[chuckles]

Come on, in you get.

[groans]

I like it when you don't have work.
I get tucked in properly.

Mwah! Love you.

Sleep well, darling.

Lily's going to sleep now,

so if you're going to be in here,
keep the noise down, please.

No phone calls to Jake.

I do love you, you know?

Night, Mum.

Goodnight, sweetheart.

[Lily] What are you doing?

-Why do you need your bag?
-Nothing.

Go to sleep.

[bugle call playing through TV]

There you go. Let me know
what you think about this.

It's a new recipe I'm playing with.

What the hell is this?

It's carrot and ginger
with a pineapple slice.

-Carrots?
-Yeah.

-What, you never had carrot cake before?
-Course I have.

Just don't agree with it.

I like my carrots next to my peas
on a nice Sunday roast,

-and that's where they belong.
-Listen to Jamie Oliver over there.

[reporter] Red Giant Steel has merged
with Scottish company Bevan Brothers.

-[whale calling]
-Oh, wait, go back.

-What?
-Go back, go back, I want to see that.

Business news?

-[grunts]
-What you doing?

[reporter] …leaders. With forecasters
optimistically predicting…

Since when were you interested
in this crap?

…number one steel manufacturer
in the world.

[interviewer on TV, indistinct]

-[phone rings]
-[TV continues, indistinct]

-Jess?
-[Jess] The takeover, it's been announced.

-When?
-[Jess] I don't know.

I'm watching it on TV right now.

[stammers] Which channel?

[Jess] It's on 103.

For shareholders in Bevan Brothers Steel,
today's announcement is good news

-as the share price began to climb…
-[shouts]

…rapidly before the market closed
this afternoon.

We're looking at 45, maybe even 50%.
That's just a prediction.

Which means around 70 grand each.

Well, we will find that out tomorrow,
my friend.

So, how much have we made?

[breathing heavily] Um, hang on.

Um…

[sighs] Come on.

-[lively music playing]
-Holy shit, Jess.

-We've made, like, over £250 already.
-[gasps]

And it will probably go up even more
tomorrow. It's worked! [laughs]

-[Lily] Mum?
-[laughing] What?

What is it, Lily?

[Lily] It's Alice.

Okay. I'll speak then.

[vents tapping]

♪ I'm a diva señorita
I'm a Jupiter rocket ♪

♪ But I need a little money
So I'm making a start ♪

♪ So when you're dancing with me, Daddy
I'll be picking your pocket ♪

♪ I got your map, I got your number
Got my hand on your heart ♪

♪ I'm a billion dollar baby
Got the keys to the city ♪

♪ And I'm pretty ♪

♪ I'm a billion dollar baby
Got the keys to the city ♪

♪ And I'm pretty ♪

♪ And I'm pretty ♪