Original subtitles

(heavy rock music)

♪ ♪

(genteel pipe music)

(whistles)

(chirping)

‐Whussup? ‐Yeah.

Whussup? Whussup?

‐Whussup? ‐Whussup?

What's up? (laughs) Yeah.

Anyway, we should figure out a theme for Cassie's hen do.

‐Oh! ‐So I was thinking...

bear with me, Plague Doctor Bonanza.

I know that's quite weird, but I just thought‐

‐(bird yelling) ‐Aah! Aah!

Oh, my God! No, please, no, please!

(snoring lightly)

"And that's why I ask you, save me, Sir Leerfrick.

Oh, brave knight, most gentle of heroes, I need you."

So, that's the letter.

Wow.

You worked...incredibly hard on this.

‐I can...see. ‐Oh, thanks, yeah.

I know I've spent way too much time on it,

given that Mr. Big Boy, here, might just wake at any moment.

But, you know, I just want it to be sort of perfect?

Cool. Well, I'll take it straight to Leerfrick.

Oh, wait. Wait, wait.

Do you think it's good?

It's great! It's very well written.

Ah.

If you had one criticism, what would that be?

(light snoring)

Well... (sighs) it's a bit long.

Right. Okay, okay. Yeah. Maybe.

Maybe it is too long.

You could trim a few paragraphs?

A few paragraphs? Uh, okay, okay.

So, um, what in particular would you trim?

Well, um, you might not need the part

where you describe your whole childhood?

Ha. I guess my only thing, then,

is that the stuff about my teenage years

might not make sense?

And I don't want the letter to be confusing.

That's so important, you know, when writing a letter,

just...don't make it a confusing letter.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Of course, uh,

it's just a suggestion, really, from me,

so just forget it. I should really get going.

No, no, no, no, no, please.

This is‐‐this is actually really helpful.

Anything else?

‐(groans, mumbles) ‐Please!

‐All right. ‐Please!

Okay! It's coming across

as a tiny bit... (sighs) desperate?

Ha, ha. Ah.

I mean, I'm in a pretty desperate situation,

‐to be fair to myself. ‐Yes, I know, I know.

I'm in a cage.

‐I'm in a cage. ‐I don't know.

It just sounds a little, um...

‐maybe whiney? ‐You know what?

I don't even want to send the letter anymore.

But forget I said anything!

I don't know what I'm talking about.

The letter's amazing. It's perfect. (laughs)

Do you actually re‐really think that?

I promise.

(ethereal music, singing)

Wait, Robin, Robin! Do you think

it's a bit in your face that it's written in all caps?

(echoing scream)

(genteel pipe music)

Oh, Robin! You poor thing!

Oh, God, thank God you're okay. Did you find Sir Leerfrick?

Yes. And he gave me this.

Sir Leerfrick sent a letter...

‐to me, Malkyn. ‐Yes.

Whaaaat? Ah!

Okay, I'm... (exhales)

"Dear person in need."

‐That's me. ‐Yes.

"We have processed your application,

"but are unable to save you at this present time.

Please try again in another life‐threatening situation."

Ooh, boy.

That is rough.

(light snoring continues)

He hated the letter, didn't he?

Honestly, Malkyn?

I'm not even sure he read the whole thing.

I mean, it was... so long.

If it was so incredibly long, I'm just wondering,

why didn't you tell me?

What? I mean, I did tell you that.

But you didn't listen, did you?

No, no, you said it was perfect.

Yeah, after you completely overreacted.

‐What? ‐I'm‐I'm sorry, Malkyn,

but you really can't take constructive feedback

to save your life.

‐Oh, that is rich. I mean‐‐ ‐Well, you can't!

Well, maybe, if you had given me some fucking time

‐to internalize it... ‐Oh, right.

Process it, and reflect on the notes,

instead of backpedaling immediately!

Internalize it? Wha‐what are you on about?

You're incapable of accepting

that anything you do is short of perfect!

All you do is talk about what's bad.

You've never just told me anything like,

"That's working. That's a good idea.

(overlapping arguing)

I don't need this aggravation!

You asked me for cri‐ti‐ci‐sm.

Criticism, Malkyn!

I'm not going to start

flicking your bean over some‐‐

Robin!

Aah!

Negative people.

They just kill your creativity, don't they?

Trust me, I know. I'm actually something of a writer, myself.

(dramatic music)

(screaming)

That's‐‐that's writ‐‐writing.

Wow. That looks, uh‐‐that looks epic.

Epic? No! It's supposed to be a quirky romantic comedy!

Aah!

Maybe she had a point, actually.

I better start again!

(screaming)