Original subtitles

[upbeat music playing]

[music stops]

-What? -What are you daydreaming about?

Uh, nothing.

Boys.

Girls. [chuckles]

Well, come on then. I've got your next movie.

-Perv. -[hesitates]

I wasn't perving.

[sighs]

[upbeat music playing]

-[player whirring] -[dramatic music playing]

-Oh, stop, stop. -[Tanya clicks tongue]

-Go back a bit. -[player whirring]

-There. -[player whirring stops]

-Okay. -[Tanya chuckles]

Play.

Oh hey, Buffy!

Well, movie Buffy, not TV Buffy, but still.

Oh, is that, um,

-the chick from Labyrinth? -[Hayley] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Uh.

Oh.

Oh…

are they?

Oh, they're actually gonna…

-Hmm. Why'd you stop it? -You said you were going to be supportive.

-I am supportive. -Well, you're not even watching.

No, I'm all for this.

I just don't really want to have to see it. You know?

-You're okay watching it in Showgirls? -[Tanya] Well, that's different.

Yeah.

Okay, Personal Best, Bar Girls, Dessert Hearts.

Why do you need to watch all these anyway?

It's Desert Hearts, and I told you, it is research. I just need to…

figure some stuff out.

But didn't you do that already?

There was a whole coming out speech and everything.

I wouldn't call that a coming out speech

so much as a drunken accidental word vomit.

To a few select friends.

-So wait, you're not a lesbian? -No, I… I…

I am. I… I just probably, definitely, no, sometimes maybe I think I am.

I just, I don't know how…

-How you became a lesbian. -How to be one.

Oh, like how to scissor?

-No. [mumbles] -What? Is scissoring not a thing?

Oh, fingering then. That's pretty simple. I've heard you just use two fingers,

-maybe three, just depending on the size-- -Oh! It's not about that.

It's…

it… it's…

[soft music playing]

[player clicks]

Why is it all fuzzy now?

The rest of the tape was fine. Is it just this bit?

[Mel sighs] Why does everyone think working in a video store

means getting paid to watch movies all day?

Oh, hey, Mel. What's up?

We were just finding something to put on, um, for the shop.

You know, just a, um, a good old rom-com, boy meets girl,

just a nice wholesome love story for our customers.

-You don't work here, Tanya? -Yeah, and whose fault is that?

-Hayley, on the other hand. -Sorry.

[Tanya clicks tongue]

Let's keep it PG, huh?

Yep.

-[Tanya] Yep. -Not you.

[groans] You need me, okay?

Hey, earlier I helped one of your customers locate a film.

Based off the description, that movie with the guy

who was in the other thing with that blonde woman.

-Goodbye, Tanya. -[Tanya sighs]

It was Look Who's Talking, by the way?

-["Go" by Hero Delano playing] -Later, Hayles!

♪ Drive fast in to the night ♪

♪ Anywhere you wanna go ♪

♪ Locked eyes, bright lights… ♪

[Hayley grunts]

-Oh, it's okay, I'm all right. -Yes, do you have, uh, Lethal Weapon?

Uh, it's right behind you.

Oh.

Bet you'd like my lethal weapon right behind ya.

-[tapes clattering] -[Hayley grunts]

[tapes clattering]

Dicks.

Huh.

Higher Learning.

It's a tough film to watch, but it has its moments.

-I work here. -[chuckles]

I mean, I didn't-- I haven't-- Uh, other people borrowed these,

I'm just putting them back on the shelves.

Except for Back to the Future, couldn't find a spot for it.

I… I thought it would be a comedy, but I… I couldn't see it when I was there…

before.

Well, maybe you're looking in the right place now.

-[soft music playing] -I am?

[Jennifer chuckles]

-[dramatic music playing] -[keyboard keys clacking]

-[scanner beeps] -[keyboard keys clacking]

Unhelpful.

[paper rustling]

-[paper rustling] -[keyboard keys clacking]

You need to grab the tapes from behind the covers.

That's gay.

-[tapes clattering] -[indistinct chatter]

Dicks.

I couldn't find a spot for this in comedy.

That's because it doesn't go there.

But it's funny.

Sure, it's funny.

It's plenty of other things, too.

Maybe don't call this one a dick.

You work here?

She's usually a little better at it.

-Oh, Sandra Bullock, love her. -[scanner beeping]

-[tape clattering] -[keyboard keys clacking]

-[paper rustling] -[cash draw clattering]

Thank you, Jennifer.

Hope Floats is due back tomorrow.

-Great, thanks. -[coins clattering]

See you then?

[door opens, beeps]

Come on.

[upbeat music plays]

[sighs] I hope you're not about to complain about being bored. In about…

five minutes, there are going to be 20 people in here

all wanting, you-know-what. [chuckles]

Oh, you look, um…

different.

Oh, good… good different. Nice.

I've already rented out half the Titanic's that came back today.

Are you trying to make it a happy ending?

-Huh? -Because if you only rent out half,

well, it's just the first tape. The boat doesn't sink.

The boat sinks?

-Joke. -Oh! [laughs]

You're so… Hayley! [chuckles] Oh, my God! [chuckles]

Um, actually, uh…

I was wondering if one night this week you might just want to…

[tape clattering]

Good morning, welcome to Videoland.

[upbeat music playing]

-Yes, do you have any copies of Titanic? -Titanic? Sorry.

♪ Get it today, or you don't pay ♪

[paper rustling]

-Oh, what are you doing? -Oh, checking in your returns.

No, I mean… No, no, no, you don't have to do that.

No, no, I'm already logged in.

Um, I can do it for you. It would be my pleasure.

Oh, no, it's cool. I… I was going to keep them.

Well, uh, if they're due back, they need to be rechecked out anyway.

Oh.

[keyboard keys clacking]

Oh, wow. You have had this one a bunch of times.

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah, yeah, I just haven't really gotten around to watching it.

Oh.

You know, I haven't seen it either. I've been meaning to.

Um… maybe, if you wanted,

-maybe we could find a time to-- -[Tanya] Excuse me!

-Do you have any copies of Titanic? -[Hayley] Oh, you are such a loser.

Oh, shh. He can hear you.

-Uh, are you going to be paying for that? -Give me your employee discount.

-As if. -Bet you hear that a lot.

Why are you so mean to him?

Uh, because it's easy and hilarious. Duh.

I bet I know what he's gone in there to think about.

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah Getting jiggy with it ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah Getting jiggy with it ♪

[Hayley] Stop.

Nobody's thinking about getting jiggy with anybody.

Well, that is a 1000% not true.

And speaking of, I found something for you.

Follow me.

[Tanya] Huh?

Huh?

What's wrong with you? This is like the jackpot.

-Booyah! -I know.

It's on my list. But I can't borrow it. I work here. It'll show up on my account.

Just check it out on someone else's account.

-That is against store policy. -Ugh!

You're making having a gay best friend really boring?

Fine. I'm going to go and terrorise Daniel some more. At least that's fun.

[dramatic music playing]

-[Daniel] What are you doing? -[Tanya] I'm working.

-[Daniel] No, this is my job, dude. -[Tanya] No, but you're so slow

at doing it. You always put them in the wrong spot.

-So just let me do it. -[Daniel] I'm trying.

-No, just let me. -[Tanya] You're so annoying.

-Just move over. Just be quiet. -[Daniel] Give me a bit.

[Tanya grunts] Wait, I could have done that myself.

-No, that is for me, okay? -[Tanya] I don't need you to do that.

-[Daniel] That's what I do. I get these… -[Tanya groans]

[indistinct clamouring]

[scanner beeping]

[tape clattering]

[gasps] Oh. Hope Floats?

What are you waiting for? Go talk to her.

-Uh, no way. -Um, way.

-I'm… I'm busy. -[tapes clattering]

-[Hayley grunts] -Go.

[hesitates] What would I even say to her?

Gee, I don't know, employee-of-the-store -we-are-currently-standing-in?

-How about, can I help you? -[Daniel] Can I help you?

-Uh, it's okay. -Okay.

Oh well, too late.

-Hayley Ellen Stevens. -It's not my middle name.

There is a real live girl over there.

You want to figure out how to be a lesbian?

-Go be a lesbian! -[Hayley gasps]

-What would Xena do? -Xena's a warrior princess.

I don't even know how to talk to pretty girls.

Um, rude.

No, I'm serious. It's like the moment I try,

the entire English language turns on me. I just become a blabbering mess.

English shminglish. Use the language of love, baby.

I… I don't know how to do that.

Okay, you know what? Fine. Don't talk to her.

Let her leave with Hugh Grant or whoever and you can go home tonight and sulk

while you watch Ruth kiss Idgie on the cheek for the bazillionth time.

Towanda.

-What? -I'm going in.

Oh my God.

[dramatic music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[speaking French] Comment je peux vous aider?

-Excuse me? -Sorry.

Can I help you?

Uh, find something. I mean, a movie. Obviously.

We're all out of Titanic.

I can get you a free coupon if… if you ask for it and we don't have it.

♪ Get it today, or you don't pay ♪

That's okay. I was just looking.

I already own it. And I've seen it four times at the movies.

Seven.

-Wow, and I thought I loved it. -How can you not?

Because, you know, there's… there's a boat.

And an iceberg.

Uh, and water.

-And Kate. -Leo. Kate?

Do you like Kate Winslet?

-Oui. -Have you seen, um, Heavenly Creatures--

[Karen clears throat]

Yes, have any copies of Titanic come in?

I don't think so.

Well, could you please check?

[Hayley] Hmm.

Behind the counter.

That's okay. I'm sure I'll find something.

-You can't deny the woman Kate Winslet. -[Karen] Hmm.

[indistinct chatter]

That woman doesn't deserve Titanic.

She left, sweetie. While you were buried in the returns.

She borrowed something, though. Daniel served her.

-[keyboard keys clacking]

[dramatic music playing]

[machine whirring]

[indistinct chatter]

-Maybe it's her brother. -[Hayley] Mm-hmm.

[indistinct chatter]

Some siblings are super close.

Brandon and Brenda Walsh, they cuddle all the time.

This is the first time she's been back in weeks.

Well, most people don't watch the amount of movies you do, Hayles.

I'm sure she's just been busy.

Yeah, busy getting with her boyfriend and forgetting I even exist.

[sighs] I just thought we had a moment.

-Of course you did. -[dramatic music playing]

I mean, of course you did!

Then why hasn't she been back?

Because I was going to recommend her another Kate Winslet movie.

Uh, I hope you're not basing your "moment" off a shared love for Kate Winslet.

Oh. Well, then you and I are about to have a moment, mon cherie.

-Shut up. -[chuckles] I'm serious.

Hey, my whole heart belong to Jack Dawson, okay?

But, Rose? Seeing a woman like her on screen… With her…

And her… And her…

[clicks tongue] Every girl I know loves Kate Winslet.

Yeah.

But it was the way she said it.

You, out.

[hesitates] But Hayley is swamped. I'm just helping. [chuckles]

Daniel, an actual employee who gets paid to do that will be here soon.

Excellent point. Thanks for the heads up.

I do not want to be here for that. [grunts]

Hmm. Can I rewind these tapes for you, Hayley?

Um, let me carry these heavy boxes for you, Hayley.

Uh, will you marry me and have my babies, Hayley?

-I love you, Hayley. -He doesn't.

Yeah, he does. Ugh!

Um, should I invoice you for my hours or…

-Please go away. -Okay.

-Bye. -Bye.

-Oh, I can do that for you, Hayley. -No.

-I've got it. -[soft romantic music playing]

[Daniel to himself] Hey Hayley.

[clears throat]

[deep voice] Hey Hayley

[lighter fun tone] Hey Hayley, I was wondering if you wanna do something…

[soft romantic music continues]

Want to do something tonight?

Together, after work? Uh, maybe watch a movie?

[mouths] Yeah. Yep.

Cool. It's a date.

Really?

-[romantic music ends] -[Hayley sighs]

-[footsteps receding] -[indistinct chatter]

-[Mel] Tanya's right, you know? -About what?

Daniel.

[tapes clattering]

Perhaps he's not thinking as far ahead as marriage and babies.

God, I hope not. But he certainly is putting in a lot of effort

trying to find a movie for you two to watch tonight.

Is Boogie Nights a two-night new release or has it gone straight to weekly?

Two-nighter.

Do you know what it's about? Have you seen it?

Yes, I do. And yuck, no thank you! [retches]

-[Mel] Mm-hmm. -[Hayley] Hmm.

Just be careful tonight, okay?

We're not gonna…

Yeah, that's not what I'm talking about and you know it.

Oh, you're off Mel.

[Hayley sighs]

[Daniel mumbles]

-[switch clicks] -[Hayley] Oh.

Sorry, I was… I was trying to, um-- I thought that would, uh-- [hesitates]

I didn't realise it would be so dark in here.

Um.

[lights fizz and hum]

[switch clicks]

[Daniel sighs]

[tape clattering, whirring]

[quirky music playing]

[music changes to soft heartfelt music]

-I'm gay. -I'm sorry. Oh.

[Hayley sobs]

[soft music playing]

I'm really sorry for dragging you into this.

No, I… I really thought if I was gonna be able to go out with a guy,

have feelings for a guy, you know, it would… it would be you.

You know, cause…

cause you're…

cute.

[chuckles] And you're… you're sweet and you're kind

and… and you're everything I would want, you know.

Oh, you don't have to finish that sentence.

But thank you. That's actually very nice.

-I think. -I really tried. [chuckles]

-[sniffles] -I know.

Thank you.

So you wanna watch another movie?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I would like that. [chuckles]

-Okay. -Um, not a rom-com, please.

-Uh. Oh, Boogie Nights? -Uh, yeah, no, definitely not.

Okay, well, why don't you pick something?

-[Hayley sniffles] -[tape clatters]

-[Daniel chuckles] -[chuckles]

-Um, so… -["Here I Am" playing]

…are you and Tanya…

♪ Staring down that hole of dreams Such a long long way… ♪

Oh, what? No, no, no, we're… we're just friends.

There is someone though.

I just don't know if she likes me back.

She does.

I mean, I have absolutely no idea who you're talking about,

but of course she does.

You should go for it.

♪ Here I am making my own rules ♪

♪ And I can do whatever I choose ♪

♪ It's everything I want to feel Not a second left to lose ♪

♪ I guess it's time For breaking the mold now ♪

♪ I don't mind kicking the walls down ♪

♪ The world is waiting For someone who can ♪

♪ Here I am! ♪