All language subtitles for The Man from UNCLE - S02E23 - The Moonglow Affair.en

I want two of her.

One full from that way, then a
full-face I think would be better.

Then go over there and take two
of them. Stand up straight, darling.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

Which one do you think should be
chosen as Miss Moonglow, Mr., uh...?

Kuryakin, at your service.

That's a difficult decision.

To find someone worthy of
representing your new cosmetic.

Personally...

I would prefer a woman
of accomplishment.

I suppose they fit into the typical
male's misconception of beauty.

- You're from the...
- The advertising agency.

I just dropped by to put out a
few feelers. You understand.

Oh.

- Cigarette?
- No, thank you.

Excuse me.

The coast is clear.

The laboratory is
in the basement.

Call security and
check on a Mr. Kuryakin.

Right away.

Just a moment here, soldier.

Is that uniform the
best you can do?

Little sloppy here.
Gotta button up.

Well, good evening.

How are you?

Jean.

- Are these all of our semifinalists?
- Yes.

Mm.

- I, uh, think there's
an U.N.C.L.E. agent...

in the building.

- Oh, really?
- Mm-hm.

Really? Well, we must be
careful not to alarm our guests.

Boo.

Where's the other one?

Illya!

I've never seen
anything like it.

He's been exposed to
some kind of radiation...

but exactly what
kind, we don't know.

Radiation specialists
from London and Beirut.

Any word from Kuryakin?

Unfortunately, no, not yet.

Sorry to have to pull you in off
your flight to Mallorca, Mr. Slate.

As you may have surmised, I have
an emergency assignment for you here.

Breaking in a new Section
Two operative in the field.

I'm always glad to do a job
for the New York office, sir.

It doesn't seem too long ago
that I broke in Napoleon Solo.

Whatever happened
to Agent Quint?

I thought he was
handling your trainee work.

Ah, yes, yes.
Quint, poor fellow.

We, uh... We had to kick
him upstairs, so to speak.

It's too bad.

He has a desk job now.

You see, he'd reached age 40.

Too bad.

When will I see the new agent?

- I've asked Ms. Dancer to meet us here.
- Ms. Dancer?

Yes. Miss.

I didn't intend to put her in the field
so soon, but under the circumstances...

- Ah, here she is.
- You sent for me, sir?

She can't be more
than 18. She's just a kid.

Hardly. Ms. Dancer's
24 and most capable.

- Come in, come in. Sit down.
- Thank you.

- Oh, uh, this is Mr. Slate, Ms.
Dancer. DANCER: How do you do?

Report from infirmary
on monitor one, sir.

You made a diagnosis, gentlemen?

We cannot determine the cause
of the radiation symptomology.

Unfortunately, the
irradiation has penetrated...

the primary and the secondary
layers of Mr. Solo's skin.

We are helpless unless we
know what was used on Mr. Solo.

Because at the present rate, the radiation
will reach the spleen in 46 hours...

and Mr. Solo will die.

Well, Ms. Dancer...

it's up to you to discover what it is
that Thrush has inflicted on Mr. Solo.

And find out too what
they've done with Mr. Kuryakin.

We're counting on you.

So is Mr. Solo.

Ms. Dancer will give you all
the background information.

You're going in
the field with me?

Is there some objection?

Why, no, of course not.

Um, I guess the rules and regulations
are just fresh in my mind, that's all.

What are you talking about?

Well... Well, you see, I
thought Section Two men...

at a certain age, uh,
became executives...

and didn't have to go
into the field anymore.

It's the rule, all right.

Shall we go?

Get me our file
on Mr. Mark Slate.

- Do you like it?
- Yeah.

- Used to be my office.
- Really?

Here's the Arthur
Caresse dossier.

"Arthur Caresse. Head
of Caresse International...

and Caresse
Cosmetics Incorporated.

- Also one of the..."
- One of the high-ranking Thrush officials.

He's been operating in
Europe for the past few years.

Since Caresse's recent return from
Europe, our intelligence reports...

that a large number of Thrush technicians
and shipments of electronic equipment...

have been moved into the
Caresse home office building.

I wonder if Section One assumes
that there's some connection...

between Caresse's
Miss Moonglow contest...

and the United States
Moonglow space flight.

Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin were
assigned to explore that possibility.

I see. I see.

Well, Cape Kennedy is too well-guarded
for Thrush to try anything there.

I don't suppose we have
any leads to go on, do we?

No, but we do know that
Thrush has space plans of its own.

But we don't know how they might plan to
interfere with the United States' project.

Just how do you fit
into this assignment?

Section One thinks I'll be able
to do some undercover work...

inside the, uh,
Caresse building.

Especially now that Mr. Solo
and Mr. Kuryakin have failed.

A woman would be the
last thing they would expect.

Just how are you planning
on entering this building?

Well, Section One has arranged that I
go in and work as a temporary secretary...

of course with the necessary
forged Thrush credentials.

You got all of that in there?

Of course.

- Ready?
- For anything.

This is private property, and
I want it maintained that way.

Get me a scanner's
report immediately.

I wanna know if he made it
back to U.N.C.L.E. headquarters.

Up all night, Arthur?

Isn't it amazing?

You come back from Europe
with your big hush-hush project...

you don't even let me
near the laboratory...

but when there's trouble,
it's your poor, frail little sister...

that finds the U.N.C.L.E. agent.

- Isn't that amazing?
- Fascinating.

I've made the press coverage arrangements
for the reception on the yacht tonight...

checked with the caterers...

covered the guest list.

Only two cancellations.

Admiral Webster is giving a
political talk at the Veterans Club.

Professor Worth is marching
in a political demonstration...

in front of the Veterans Club.

Here are the three
semifinalists we...

You selected last night.

Which one do you like?

This one.

Tall, tan, young.

I like this one.

Have her in here this morning
for wardrobe fittings and makeup.

You have no right to
disregard my opinion.

After all, I'm the one...

You're on the payroll the same as
anyone else and don't you forget it.

So be careful.

I don't mean to be
domineering. It's just...

Sit down, sit down.

Now, the man from
U.N.C.L.E. who got away...

wasn't in any
condition to talk...

but nonetheless, I'm
doubling our security.

I called you in here
because I want to use you...

as my backup on this project...

in case anything happens to me.

You're including me?

That's marvelous.

You're the dearest
thing in the world...

As soon as we finish
this Moonglow project...

I'll be on my way
back to Europe.

Now, the diagrams for
the Thrush rocket base...

are being held for
me by my friend here.

I see.

How does this Thrush project tie in
with the reception on the yacht tonight?

Take my elevator
down to the lab.

Andy will fill you
in on the details.

When I come back, we'll take
care of the arrangements for the girl.

And if you'll just sign these policy
memos that I dictated this morning...

then we'll be able to
concentrate on the...

I'm sending my
sister down. Fill her in.

She has top priority clearance.

Yep. Yeah, yeah.

Jawohl.

I know genau where we
will go in with the explosion.

Ha.

Aber no one has told
me exactly warum.

Why is it so
wichtig...? Important...

that we all meet on the
ship...? The yacht. Yacht?

- All right, beat it.
- Beat it?

- Go, you can go now.
- Oh.

- Guten tag, Fräulein.
- Yes, of course.

- Hello, Andy.
- Hello.

Thrush Central sent him over because
he's a top German demolitions man.

I can hardly understand
a word he says.

Where's your big secret?

This is the quartzite
radiation projector.

The rays from this machine
affect the human sensory systems...

throwing them into imbalance.

Now, over here, please.

Kuryakin there is being
fed dehydrated food...

that has been irradiated
by the projector.

Now, watch this.

Yes, Jean, our Miss Moonglow
will be here in a few minutes.

No, I'm taking care of it.

I just wanna make sure the wardrobe people
will be here at the right time. Goodbye.

I like that. I like that. Let's use
that, and get on it right away.

I hate these. Hate...

Well, maybe this one.
You might give that a try.

Fellas, that's very, very nice.

Very nice, but how about getting something
with a little more excitement in it?

Yes. Central.

All right, kids, that's all for now.
We'll pick this up in a few minutes.

- Don't touch that.
- Oh.

Oh. I'm sorry. Uh...

Uh, these are the memorandums
that you wanted to sign.

- I'll sign them later. Scram, sweetie.
- Yes, sir.

Ready for that overseas call.

We're moving the
laboratory out of the building...

and we're dismantling
our equipment.

We're dumping it in the river.

There will be no trace of
our operation left behind.

We're dumping Kuryakin's
body in the river too.

I've... Yeah.

I've transferred our diagrams
for the rocket base onto microdots.

I'll be bringing them to
Europe with me on Tuesday.

Right.

You're gonna meet me at
the yacht tonight, got that?

Da, da.

I know genau where
to go through the wall.

I still don't know why.

Never mind, I'll pick
you up at your hotel.

Yeah, all right. Beat
it, beat it. Beat it.

Say you.

Me?

Take those files over
there and burn them.

Yes, sir.

They're not worth anything...

but we've got to burn
them anyway. Regulations.

Uh, I bet Caresse keeps the
good stuff hidden in his office.

Wouldn't trust us with the plans to
the hidden rocket base, would he?

You ask a lot of questions.

Oh, well, uh, I'm new here.

Very new.

You're quite an improvement.

Thank you.

Uh...

- Is he real?
- Well, almost.

He's a sturdy little fellow, but, uh, he's
had quite a few doses from this machine.

Oh.

Well, what's going
to happen to him?

Um...

The usual body
disposal procedure?

Yes, uh, that's right.

I'm through testing
the machine on him.

I'd like to keep him. I
have a few other ideas.

Well, um, there's not that
much left to work with, is there?

I could fix that.

All I have to do is to
reverse the quartzite device.

That would restore
his sensory systems...

and, uh, counteract
the, uh, radiation.

All that just by
reversing this machine?

Mm-hm. Oh.

That reminds me.

Hi, honey.

Listen, call the
yacht, will you?

Have them send over a
steward to pick up the body.

Yeah, thanks.

Well, I've got to shove off.

Say, why don't we, uh...?

- Here, give me a hand with this thing.
- Oh, certainly.

Why don't we get together
one of these days, hmm?

That would be very nice,
sir. What about tonight?

Oh. Tough luck, kid, huh? We're
completing the project tonight.

I've gotta work.

Well, that's a
scientist for you.

Yeah.

I've met so many
nice girls in the contest.

It's been the most exciting
experience of my life.

It really has.

Just wait until I tell my folks.
They're not gonna believe it.

Oh, that's good.
Yes, that will work fine.

- Jean.
- This is wonderful.

This isn't the girl I wanted. What
happened to the one I picked?

She's gone. I knew that if only
you'd see her the way I visualize...

- Get rid of her. JEAN: I
can't get rid of her, it's too late.

- We've got to go with this one.
- I said get rid of her.

Wait. Wait till you
see this fabric on her.

Perfect.

Here we are.

Right in our own ranks.

The new Miss Moonglow.

Oh, what do you mean?

Pay her off. Get
her out of here.

- You can't do this, Arthur.
- I'll sue.

- I'll take you for every penny you've got.
- Get her out of here.

Come on, dear.

But this isn't fair. You
can't do this to me!

I want this girl to have
the full treatment, my way...

and I want her on the
yacht tonight at 8:00.

Oh, well, uh, thank
you very much.

I am very grateful,
but you see, um...

I'm just a temporary
secretary, and I'm very busy.

- Uh, there's a lot of heavy typing and...
- What's your name?

- April Dancer.
- Congratulations, April.

I understand this is going to be
the greatest experience of your life.

Well, thank you very much, but
you see, I'm not very good in public.

If you enjoy working here,
you'll accept the honor graciously.

In that case, I'm very grateful.

I'll see you on
the yacht at 8:00...

and then we'll see
how grateful you are.

Channel D, please.

Channel D is open.

Something's gonna happen
on Caresse's yacht tonight.

They already have their
radiation device on its way there.

Any idea what
they're planning to do?

No, but whatever it is, it's
going to happen tonight.

Evidently, Thrush has
space plans of its own.

Caresse has the location
of the hidden rocket base.

It's somewhere in his
office on microdots.

Good. Can you arrange to
get in there and find them?

Well, there's been a
minor complication.

I've been chosen
as Miss Moonglow.

I'm going to the yacht too.

Miss Moonglow?

Any other good news?

The truck is coming to pick up the
rest of the electronic equipment and Illya.

And, Mark, he's in bad shape.

I'll intercept the truck and
then I'll meet you on the yacht.

- Ms. Dancer.
- Oh.

They're waiting for you.

Oh. All right.

Well, here we go.

April.

All right, let's go.

Hold it. Hold it, hold it.

You took my laundry by mistake.

It's... It's a laundry bag.

When you find it, take it
to Del Florio's Cleaners.

They'll know what to do with it.

Here's the address.

Tell them to take it
easy on the starch.

Here.

Hey, mister, you're a little
out of shape, aren't you?

Ah, Dr. Faust.

How are Mr. Solo
and Mr. Kuryakin?

Well, unless we're able to
counteract the radiation soon...

I don't see much hope for them.

- Have you heard from your two agents?
- No.

Our communications people haven't
been able to reach either of them.

Washington has certainly
been able to reach me, however.

The Pentagon's
concerned about...

possible Thrush designs on
their Moonglow space flight.

When is the flight scheduled?

In 24 hours.

I'm afraid I don't have any
answers for them either.

Excuse me.

Well, don't we look lovely.

Thank you.

Isn't it amazing, dear, how you
came to us from out of nowhere?

Or however the song goes.

Weren't my Thrush
identification papers in order?

They appear to be in
order, but of course...

I've cabled Thrush
Central for verification.

I thought I told you
to stay away from her.

In fact, Arthur, I'm not even
staying for your reception.

I think I will be of more
use to you somewhere else.

- Good night.
- Good night.

I must apologize
for my sister's charm.

Moonglow, our first tube.

How nice.

After the reception, we will
get together somewhere...

and test each
other's generosity.

They'll call for you as soon as
we're ready for you to come up.

- Hi...
- Shh, shh, shh.

Would you like me to air my dirty
linens in public or can I come in?

Oh. Come in, come in.

Wait.

You look like you've been through
a meat grinder. That's a nasty cut.

It's nothing. It's nothing.

You know, I've always said...

that this is no
business for a girl.

Here, this will help and so will
my information. Get up there.

Hurry up.

That was their radiation
device in that case.

- The same one they used on Solo and Illya.
- Where they gonna take it?

I don't know, but we've got
to get that device back intact.

It can be reversed somehow and
cure anyone who's been irradiated.

All right, I'll get the machine.

But what are you gonna
be doing in the meantime?

I'll have Arthur Caresse take me to his
office where I will locate the microdots.

Then you'll have the machine and I'll have
the location of the secret rocket base.

I never knew it
could be so easy.

That's enough, that's enough.
I'll... I'll treat it internally.

We're ready for you
upstairs, Miss Moonglow.

We go out through the chamber
when the lights go off upstairs.

Come on, Carl, hurry up.

You the one who
ordered the potato soup?

Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present...

Miss Moonglow.

Lights.

Moonglow.

Caresse's first lipstick...

which actually
glows in the dark.

Come on, Carl. Hurry up.

What's keeping you?

Yeah, yeah.

Let's go, let's go.

Come on, get in, close
the door, the signal's ready.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hold it.

Listen.

The United States government
has so little imagination.

Always putting their
secret laboratories...

under basketball
gymnasiums. Ha-ha.

Ah, don't you worry, Carl.

The noise of that basketball game
will cover your demolition work.

We're gonna dock
in a few minutes.

Why don't we go to your office?

Now, why should we do that?

Well, I've never seen
your office at night.

It must be very private.

Well?

This way. This way.

All right, good.

You were asking what
the project is all about.

Now that I've got you this far,
might as well fill you in on the details.

Now, listen carefully, very carefully.
- Yeah.

Now, we go through the
wall into the laboratory.

We irradiate the
astronauts' food...

and then we come out again.

But we must be very careful...

so that no one knows we've
been in the Space Food Laboratory.

- Right?
- Yeah. Yeah.

Irradiate the
astronauts' food...

But why?

After the astronauts have
tasted the doctored food...

they'll lose control of
their spaceship and crash.

So much for Project Moonglow.

It will take them months before
they discover what happened.

And then we have a similar
plan in work in Russia.

We will have stymied the manned
space programs of both countries.

And the Thrush space program
will be well underway, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Telephone, sir.
- Take a message.

I believe it's important, sir.

- Caresse.
- Arthur? Listen to me.

Now I've really got something to
tell you about your Miss Moonglow.

I've just received
a call from...

I don't wanna discuss it.

Arthur?

Problem? CARESSE: No, no, no.

But you may be right.

My office would be
more private, wouldn't it?

When the men return, send
them right over to the plant.

I'll check in with you later.

Hello? I'm sorry,
Mr. Caresse isn't available.

What is this?

A locker room?

Carl, you bumbling idiot.

Hold it.

Another U.N.C.L.E. agent.

Too bad you made such
a long swim for nothing.

Hold it. Right
back inside, buster.

All right, knock it off.

I wonder if you'd mind telling me
just what you're doing in that costume.

Look, it's very
simple to explain.

There was this group of men...

who were going to use a
quartzite radiation projector.

And then...

A quartzite radiation project...

You better take me to a phone.

Aah! Be careful of that. Ha-ha.

It actually works.

The button activates it.

- That sounds dangerous.
- Yes.

We're considering a
line of children's toys.

I think I'll just go
down to wardrobe...

and find something
comfortable for you to slip into.

That champagne will keep
you warm until I get back.

Isn't that just like a woman?

Always trying to redecorate.

Well, uh, that
painting intrigues me.

He seems to be having
trouble with his eyes.

Get away from the desk, dear.

Put that gun down or you'll
see my first space shot.

What's going on here?

- April?
- Now maybe you'll listen to me.

She's an U.N.C.L.E. agent.

Here's our Miss Moonglow.

Over here, Jean.

I've got her.

I'm going to turn
you over to my sister.

I think you deserve it.

No, no, no, look, look.

Look, if I have to go, I...

I'd much rather go with you.

It's too late, sweetie.

Oh, you wanna play games, huh?

April?

Arthur.

She kissed me.

Now we'll go back and get those microdots
and I'll arrange for an ambulance.

What a miserable evening.

And just try to get a taxi
wearing one of these...

What's this all about?

You can put the
machine down anywhere.

Give me the gun, dear.

Give me the gun, dear.

Give me the gun, dear.

Give me the gun, dear.

Jean!

Thought you might
like a little company.

April, are you all right?

I'm fine, thank you.

And you...

and you...

and you...

hmm, and you.

Well, you two...

congratulations.

The government's Project Moonglow
seems to be off to a good start.

How are Solo and Kuryakin?

Oh, they've made a remarkable
recovery from that radiation stuff.

Observe.

I understand you picked up a
small touch of it yourself, Ms. Dancer.

- Yes, sir, but I'm fine now, thank you.
- Good.

Uh, what's our...? I mean,
my next assignment?

Well, as a matter of fact, I was
thinking of teaming the two of you again.

You seem to work
quite well together.

That is, if it's
all right with you.

Yes, sir, that would
be just fine, sir.

I wouldn't make a
move without him.

Uh, by the way, Mr. Slate...

our recording angel seems to have made
a small typographical error in your file.

It says here you're over 40.

Ha. Preposterous, of course.

I suggest you make the correction
and send it back to Master Files.

Yes, sir. I'll take care
of that right away, sir.