All language subtitles for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. - S00E05 - One of Our Spies Is Missing (1966).en

[instrumentalmusic]

[knocking on door]

I'm sorry, sir,
we're closed.

I'm sorry, sir,
we're..

[cats meowing]

You like it?

It's extraordinary workmanship.

But the jewels look real.

Oh, they are.

Naturally, for a color
such as this

I need a very elegant cat.

A nice big fat one.

Well, I'm a bit
confused, sir.

Which do you wish,
elegant or fat?

What I need..

...is the kind of cat
that gets himself stolen.

I see.

[instrumental music]

Yeah.

[cat meowing]

'You're free.'

Go away!

[music continues]

[device beeping]

[music continues]

[cat meowing]

(male #1)
Here, kitty, kitty
kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty.
Here, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty. Here, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty
kitty, kitty, kitty.

[device beeping]

[intense music]

Ah, we won't be
needin' this, will we?

I wasn't doing nothin'.

Found a cat, that's all!

No crime there, is there?

Just found a,
found a stray cat is all I did.

Well, there's nothing
wrong there, is there?

That's for finding him.

Where do you take them?

I don't take 'em nowhere.

Make it five.

I take them to Corvy.

Who's Corvy?

Just Corvy.

He and his chum.

'They've got this whole house
all stocked up with cats.'

'Loves cats.'

Hates to see 'em walk
the streets, you might say.

You know, pays you for 'em
if you bring 'em to the house.

'Two bob.'

Five bob, if it's
a special big one.

Loves...big cats, they do.

One more question.

Where do I find this house
with Corvy and his chum?

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

(male #2 on intercom)
'Agent Solo just arrived.'

'He's on his way up.'

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

Sit down.

You recognize
the subject, Mr. Solo?

(Napoleon)
'Uh, Benjamin Lancer.'

'Uh, PhD'd in
emeritus, Harvard.'

Uh, National Science Award
for work in genetic linkages

and, uh,
X-ray induced mutations.

Very good, Mr. Solo.

He also shared
the Nobel Prize in 1952

for his research into
the aging process of cats.

He maintained that
cats are remarkably

similar to human beings
in that regard.

He retired three years ago.

'That's when this
picture was taken.'

(Napoleon)
'Mm-hm. And I would say
that was the same man, about..'

'...thirty years ago.'

This picture was taken
last week, Mr. Solo.

A son?

There's no record of
a son to Dr. Lancer.

Uh-huh. That doesn't change
the picture any.

(Alexander)
'And there's another fact
you should know.'

If these two pictures
represent father and son..

...then we must
consider the fact

that the two sets of
fingerprints which accompanied

the pictures are identical.

Well, fingerprints
have been faked before, sir.

I'd like to see both men,
make a positive identification.

(Napoleon)
'Get a, uh, retinal pattern
for example.'

'I'd like to talk
to Dr. Lancer.'

(Alexander)
'You'll have to find him
first, however.'

He's disappeared.

'THRUSH?'

Not yet.

So far as we know.

But I dare say
that an organization

with THRUSH's capacity
for evil

won't be out of
the picture very long.

I suggest you waste no time
in seeking out Dr. Lancer.

Are you going to
give me any hint

or shall I start
from scratch?

Oh, he does have a daughter.
Lorelei.

She's a model for
the House of De Sala in Paris.

Hmm.
Well, thank you.

Oh, and Mr. Solo..

...when you contact
Miss Lancer

please keep it mind
that although you are

investigating a
biological mystery

your relationship with
Miss Lancer on behalf of UNCLE

is...research
of another order.

Duty first.

Will I have time
to stop in London

and see Kuryakin
in the hospital?

Oh, Mr. Kuryakin left
the hospital this morning.

By now he's back
chasing cats in Soho.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

Yes?

I am Madame De Sala.

How do you do, uh?

Enchante.

"Napoleon Solo."

What do you wish, monsieur?

I just told your charming
young lady the exact truth.

I want to see Miss Lancer.

For what purpose?

Well, it may just
not concern you.

Everything here concerns me.

Do you think
because she is a model

you may just come in
and just-just..

Scout's honor, uh...just-just

is the last thing in my mind.

Who are you
and what do you wish?

When those two are answered
I shall decide

if you are to see
Lorelei or no.

Thank you. Good afternoon.

I have no trouble
introducing myself

if it's too much
of a burden for you.

Lorelei, this is a man
who calls himself Napoleon Solo.

Whoever that might be.

He wishes to
speak with you.

I would advise younot.

Thank you.

I wanna ask you about
your father, Miss Lancer.

I'm sorry, Mr. Solo, I really
don't wish to speak to you.

Miss Lancer, I must
reach your father.

His life may
depend on it.

You can reach me here.

You may leave this way.

I'm sorry, child.

I know that was
an embarrassment.

Madame, why didn't you
want me to talk to him?

I am worried about my father.

Uh, leave,
leave us, please.

Uh, please.

Thank you.

Why is because
he is the enemy.

- 'In what way?'
- Because we are women.

'How can I explain to you
a whole history'

'of the world which
we did not create?'

They put it together.
They did.

Why do you think
I engage myself..

...in the making
and selling of dresses?

Do you perhaps believe it is
all of which I am capable?

'Do you think I wish
nothing else in life?'

I want.

I want that which
belongs to me, no less

than to a man, it is power.

'A power that is
almost within my grasp.'

'No, it is not fantasy.'

It is not madness.

In a world controlled by men

I have found a way

to control the controllers.

But you will understand
when you are told.

Where is my father, madame?

I cannot tell you even that.

Please don't press me.

But believe in me.

'And do not converse
with that man again.'

I beg of you.

Your life may depend upon it.

This needs
something more fluid.

Olga, the beads.

She will not talk
to that man again.

You will see to it.

[indistinct chattering]

Do Do, are you going home
tonight right after the showing?

Mm-hm, long enough
to change my clothes.

Do you have a date?

Maurice.

I want you to stay with
Lorelei this evening.

It's important.

I see.

What if she's going out?

She's not.

I want you to stay
with her in her flat.

You live right next door,
it shouldn't be too difficult

to think of some
pretext or other.

Why?

I wanna make sure she doesn't

telephone a Mr. Solo.

If you think she's going to,
you call me.

I can be there
in ten minutes.

What if I can't
stall her that long?

[dramatic music]

I've discovered
that this has

great persuasive powers.

[instrumental music]

[device beeping]

[cat meowing]

[music continues]

[dog barking]

[barking continues]

Ssh! Get out!

'Shh!'

Stop..

[music continues]

[box clattering]

Get away!

Get away, dog!

[barking continues]

[clattering]

Open channel D, please.

[beeping]

[switches clicking]

Napoleon.

Well, you don't sound
at all like Mr. Waverly.

Now, really, Napoleon.

Mr. Waverly made me
your contact woman.

Mm, he shows
impeccable taste, Wanda.

It's a beautiful moon here,
how's yours?

We don't have any.

It's only 5 o'clock.

(Napoleon on radio)
'Ah, well, I'll have to share
this one with you then.'

In the first place,
it's different

than the one
you have at home.

It's a girl moon.

'And her eyes are open
very wide and her mouth is'

'open in the shape of an "O."'

'As though she's just
been kissed.'

Mmm.

Lucky moon.

I presume that's Mr. Solo.

Ahem, actually, sir, ah..

Well, will you please
tell him that

if he runs into Mr. Kuryakin

Mr. Kuryakin is to..
Well..

Well, Mr. Kuryakin
is spending altogether

too much money on cats.

Our finance people
are getting restless.

Now, the reason
I called you, Wanda

I met an extraordinary
woman this afternoon.

[sighs]
Don't you always?

Well, she's not
exactly my type.

I'll need a dossier on her.

Her name is Madame De Sala.

[instrumental music]

Come, professor.

Stay here.

[music continues]

Norman.

Norman, I've brought
Professor Gritsky with me.

Professor Gritsky will make
all of his preparations tonight

and by morning you will
have your first treatment.

There is a time to die.

Go, please,
make everything ready.

Cold.

Too late, Raine.
Too late.

Time is the enemy.

It wounds you
with its daze.

We will wound time.

You and I and Gritsky.

I have no purpose to fight.

I remember..

...when they turned out
Winston Churchill

I was hardly an old man then.

I thought how dare they do this.

'How dare they.'

And then my turn came

and I was far more angry
because it was me.

'Well, I thought,
let 'em get on without me.'

Mmm.

They did.

But what have they done?

Is this the kind of world
you would've made?

I ran out of time.

I don't want it now, Raine.

I lie awake
wondering how to move

puny people to great purposes.

When I was ten years old

I was in love with you.

I would say to myself

"One day I will marry him."

'How I raced.'

'How I raced to grow up fast.'

Do you remember?

When I was 16, and I would
sit by your side

with my head on your lap?

I love you still, my Norman.

'Yes, you have
run out of time.'

But that is all.

And we can give
that back to you.

Do you remember
the power you once had?

'It was in you.'

When I was a very little girl

and I would learn that you were
going to go into a room

I would race to get
to that room before you.

'The room itself
would change.'

'If there were people in it'

'they would stop..'

'...and wait..'

'...and listen to what
you would say to them.'

How I longed then
to take your hand..

...and walk with you
through the halls of power.

'To feel that terrible strength
going from you into me.'

And it shall be.

Take my hand, Norman.

And let me lead you
back to greatness.

My mind's just not
on cards tonight.

Well, I didn't think it was
when I blitzed you three times.

What are you thinking of?

Do Do, would you mind?

I mean I'm awfully tired,
I would like--

I bet you wanna call Mr. Solo.

I told you,
he's not a boyfriend.

He's a..

...car salesman.

Alright, I'll go as soon
as you fix me a drink.

Uh, little whiskey
and soda.

Whiskey and soda.

Hello, Maurice.

Do Do.

I understand.

- Do Do?
- 'In here.'

Do Do, please.
Olga..

Oh, I'm so glad you're here.

I don't know
what's come over her.

All of a sudden she got that
knife and she came--

Poor child, it has been

a traumatic experience
for you, hasn't it?

You shouldn't have
frightened her so.

She was being very difficult.

Olga, I was so frightened

and I just don't understand
what's happening.

There's so many things
you don't understand, my dear.

[phone ringing]

See who that is.

I'll explain it all
to you in a moment.

- Hello.
- Is Miss Lancer there?

This is Napoleon Solo.

Uh, just a moment, please.

It's Solo.

Solo?
I have to talk--

Tell him to come over.

Ow, what?

Uh, Mr. Solo?

Lorelei had to, uh,
step out a few moments.

'But I know she did
wanna speak to you.'

Good.
Do you have the address?

Yes.

(Do Do on phone)
'I'm so glad.'

[instrumental music]

Close the door.

[muffled screaming]

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

[knocking continues]

Miss Lancer?

[music continues]

Hello.

Are you Mr. Solo?

Uh, yes. I am, um..

I'm Do Do.

I live over there.

'I just spoke to you
on the phone, remember?'

Oh, uh, Miss Lancer
hasn't returned yet then?

Oh, no, no.
She, uh..

Well, I guess
she'll be back soon.

She left the coffee pot on.

Would you like a little
drinky while you wait?

No, thank you,
I'll just, uh..

...have a little coffee.

[cat meowing]

Oh, do you like cats, Mr. Solo?

Well, a friend of mine has
recently become a cat fancier.

I guess a little bit
may have rubbed off on me.

Uh, sugar, sugar, sugar.
Where is it?

That's alright, I'll just
take, uh, some cream.

Here.

Do you mind if I make
myself a little drink?

No, be my guest.

Oh, not that I
drink much, Mr. Solo.

I mean, uh..

You know, I wouldn't want you
to get the impression

that I was the kind of girl
who drinks a lot.

Perish the thought.

I don't have any vices.

And believe me,
that's very hard.

It is?

Well, you know, for a..

...girl who looks like me.

Well, I'm, uh..

...sure your mother
raised you quite properly.

Oh, she did.

You know, one thing
she said to me, "Helga.."

'Oh, Helga's my real name.
We come from Hamburg.'

'I used to be in
the theatre there.'

'I mean, right now,
I'm working as a model'

'but I'm really an actress.'

'As a matter of fact, I'm going
to be in a revue.'

'In London!'

So if you're ever
over there..

Anyway, my mother
always told me--

You make a nice cup of coffee,
Do Do, now where's Miss Lancer?

[instrumental music]

Get away!

[screaming]

Aah!

[grunting]

My name is Bentley, ma'am

from Fort Worth,
uh, that's in Texas.

I couldn't help but
hear the commotion.

Was this fella botherin' you?

Okay, buddy.
On your feet.

Now, come on.

- Come on.
- Oh, boy.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute..

- Where's the girl?
- Hey!

You sound like an American.
I...I bet you are.

I ought to call
the gendarmes.

You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

Takin' advantage of
a poor defenseless woman.

You know it's fellers like you

that gives us tourists
a bad name!

Alright!

Now, look, buddy, I don't know
what this is all about

but it sure
don't look right to me.

Ooh, that little lady
sure did chew

a big hunk outta
your ear, huh?

I bet that smarts.

Well, I'll be..

You should be.

[instrumental music]

There's a police station
a couple of doors from here.

Why don't you run down there
and get a couple of

gendarmes
and bring 'em back.

Huh?

Oh! Oh, yeah.

Uh, you bet.

[instrumental music]

"If you have to reach me,
you can do so in care of

"Phillip Bainbridge

at the Byram Club in London."

[instrumental music]

[pounding on door]

[doorbell ringing]

Uh, good afternoon, sir.

Be out of me way,
will you, man?

I'm must give him
his medicine!

Uh, we do not allow female
persons on the premises.

I am not a female person.

I am a registered nurse.

Nevertheless, you are
not a male nurse.

(female #1)
'Do you mean to say, that in
a matter of life and death'

'you would not allow me in?'

Underallcircumstances

there has never been
a woman in the Byram Club.

Has none of you
a mother?

Those members who have
arrange to meet

their mothers
on the outside.

[sighs]

To whom should
the medicine be given?

I would not trust you
with an aspirin!

I'd, uh, offer you
my shoulder to cry on

but we haven't been
formally introduced.

But if you like, I'll take
your medicine inside for you.

It is for
Sir Norman Swickert.

And he understands
the manner of the medication.

And as for myself

I wouldn't care to be
introduced to a gentleman

who meets his mother
on the outside.

I'm Napoleon Solo,
I have an appointment

with, uh,
Phillip Bainbridge.

Lancer.

Is it really you?

Try me.

What is the Bridge of Lions?

A private chess society.

What was your most
recent move?

Queen to Black Queen's
Bishop Four.

Describe to me the events

of November the third, 1919.

November third is my birthday.

In 1919, I was 37 years old.

'You and I were part of the
Mackinson polar expedition'

of that year.

On November third, we were on
the icepack north of Greenland

'debating if we should shoot
a polar bear we had tracked.'

'Nearly 50 years ago.'

I couldn't believe
the process worked.

I had to come
and see for myself.

[indistinct chatter]

But why, why this Bainbridge?

Why the alias?

You wouldn't want our secret
to leak out, would you?

If only I did this
at the right time.

Five more years I needed
and they turned me out.

Norman..

...now we can
give you 25 years.

[dramatic music]

Good heavens, a woman.

[gunshot]

He's dead.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[honking]

[honking]

[honking]

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

[honking]

(Olga)
'Quickly!'

'Quickly!'

- What happened?
- There was a slight mistake.

[gunshot]

You better go up there.

[gunshot]

[music continues]

[gunshot]

[music continues]

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

[music continues]

[gunshot]

[gunfire continues]

[music continues]

I'll get you.
Leave me alone!

- No!
- Ah, ah.

- Stop it, now!
- Ah.

Olga, shoot him.

'Stop it!'

Olga, for heavens sake,
shoot him!

[gunshot]

[groans]

[screaming]

[music continues]

You're standing in
the middle of the driveway.

It's very dangerous,
people get hurt that way.

This is private property, sir.
And you're trespassing.

Unless, of course, I'm a guest.

You don't look like
a guest to me, sir.

You're an American,
aren't you?

Yes, sir, I am.

Good day, sir.

[engine revving]

[instrumental music]

You a member of
the Bridge of Lions?

Sir?

Although, you feel free
to study those boards

they are the property
of the Bridge of Lions.

Their examination
is privileged

to the membership
of that society.

Well, I'm sorry, sir,
if I offended you

by looking at the games.

If this is about
today's murder..

Immediately, I left
the Byram Club.

I went to New Scotland Yard
and made a full statement.

If you like I shall arrange

to furnish you
with a copy.

I already have.

So it was Dr. Lancer killed
at the Byram Club today?

"And I do hereby assert
of my own freewill

"and under sacred oath
that I did this day witness

the death by murder
of Phillip Bainbridge."

You haven't answered
my question, sir.

Did you see Bainbridge?

If he'd been Lancer, he'd have
to be 83 years old.

That's not the question, sir.

The question is,
who was Phillip Bainbridge

and was he Benjamin Lancer?

And will you vouch
that he was not?

This is
Benjamin Lancer's board.

We all have our own boards
so that we can play

by mail when we are
not together.

Did you know that
over 30 million deaths

were caused
by World War I?

Unnecessary.

Accidents of history
brought about

by a break down
of communications.

Not between nations
but between men.

The men who create history

who speak for the nations

and say yes and no to fate.

It was then that I decided
to build a bridge between

the great men and the great
minds of the world.

A Bridge of Lions.

So that the borders
of the nations

could not come between these men

when they desire to
communicate with each other.

So, Norman..

...who was killed
at the Byram Club today?

(Norman)
'Queen to Black Queen
Bishops Four.'

Sir?

Phillip Bainbridge.

Where is
Benjamin Lancer then?

Dead.

Just as Phillip Bainbridge
is dead.

[instrumental music]

[dramatic music]

Napoleon.

Come in, Napoleon.

Napoleon Solo on channel.

And how shines the moon
on England's fair land?

Oh, sorry to disenchant you,
my dear. It shines not at all.

Napoleon, I'm counting
the days till our moon shines.

Oh, by the way

I got that dossier you wanted.

Report, my child, with regard
to a certain Madame De Sala.

That extraordinary woman?

(Napoleon)
'Ah, pure hostility
caused by sheer envy.'

Madame was born in 1931.

Her mother died
the same year.

Her father died
nine years later.

He was a general and a member
of the Bridge of Lions.

A Sir Norman Swickert
took the child

into his house
to bring her up.

That's a good beginning
for a Victorian novel.

Hmm, she owns
a cosmetics company

and two establishments
of haute couture.

One for the rich-rich,
the other for the poor-rich.

All original capital
supplied by Sir Norman

who remains a major partner.

Leaving out the Bridge of Lions,
is there any connection

between either a Swickert
or De Sala and Lancer?

Umm, there's a biochemist
named Alexander Gritsky.

Financed by De Sala's
cosmetics company.

Hormone research.

Gritsky used to be
a pupil of Lancer.

Ah.

[screeching]

[splash]

Napoleon?

(Wanda on radio)
'Napoleon?'

'Napoleon?'

Napoleon?

Mr. Waverly, Mr. Waverly

I can't recover
contact with Mr. Solo

and his channel's still open.

Camel station.

Waverly speaking.

Mr. Solo, we are trying
to contact you.

Can you respond?

'Mr. Solo, can you respond?'

Please, don't shout.

Mr. Solo's going to have
a very nasty headache as it is

if he recovers consciousness.

You might send him a couple
of aspirins if you care.

About, um, three
and a half miles

just north of
lesser Littlehampton.

Who is this?

Jordin is the name.

Hello? Hello?

Jordin?

Jordin?

Hand me the THRUSH year
volume please.

[dramatic music]

(Alexander)
'Jordin.'

'Ah, yes.'

'Just as I thought.'

[instrumental music]

[window rattling]

[music continues]

[wind whooshing]

[cats meowing]

[device beeping]

[meowing]

[meowing continues]

(Illya)
'Hello, kitty.'

'What did they do to you?'

How did you become
a little kitten?

You were a big cat
the last time I saw you.

[meowing continues]

[door creaking]

[instrumental music]

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

- Illya?
- Napoleon?

Very funny.

Indeed.

Is that who you're
looking for?

His name is Corvy.

He collected cats.

I'm looking for a biochemist
named Alexander Gritsky.

Hmm.

And he's the man that..

...found Corvy
collected the cats.

Did you know that
the nervous system of a cat

is the closest thing to
the nervous system of a human?

Do you know that?

Hatpin.

Hatpin.

[meowing]

Well...hello, kitten.

If Corvy collected
cats and only cats

where do the kittens
come from?

Hmm?

Hatpin.

Hatpin.

I think this is the hat
the hatpin was in

before it was in Mr. Corvy.

You know who put up the money
for the House of De Sala?

Swickert.
Sir Norman Swickert.

How would you like to go for
a little ride in the country?

'Sir Swickert has a lovely
place in the country.'

If I can't get an explanation
of what you're talking about

I'll settle for the ride.

[dramatic music]

[whirring]

There is no change.

There is no change!

What do you think,
we are science fiction?

We are like those hormone creams
you advertise in the magazine

smear on, smear off
and underneath is a new face?

I thought it would be finished.

It is begun.

Your whole metabolism
of the body

is in a new order.

'We don't do this,
the body does it by itself.'

'Cell by cell.'

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

You should be saying,
"Romeo, Romeo

where fore
art thou, Romeo?"

- Well, I--
- I'm not what you think I am.

Well, I am enough
of a lady, so that I

wouldn't know how to think
what I think you are.

Yes, I'd like to introduce
you to my, uh, chaperone.

Mr. Kuryakin,
this is Miss Sweet.

Well, if you're going to be
lookin' at me in my night gown.

Well, you should be red-faced.

I think all that's necessary
is that we speak to the girl

and orient her as to
who we are and what we are

and the principles
that we stand for

and I think it..

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[whirring]

[whirring continues]

[dramatic music]

[engine revving]

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

[thudding]

[whirring]

Good morning.

Your friend having
a little trouble?

Uh, little enough.

He's dead.

That's very unusual.

Seventy three percent of all
accidents happen in the home.

Very rarely do you find
somebody who dies in a wine vat.

I think his heart gave out.

'Sheer terror...killed him.'

Jordin is the name.

J-O-R-D-I-N, insurance game.

Uh, in a way.

Most insurance men sell you
something to settle the damages

after something happens.

My specialty is prevention.

Then who carries your papers?

(Jordin)
'Oh, it goes this way and that.'

Sometimes I carry
my own paper and, uh

sometimes I get
somebody to underwrite me.

THRUSH for example?

Uh, the world is full of birds.

I don't suppose you would mind
answering a couple of questions

would you, Mr. Solo?

Actually, Mr. Jordin,
I answers questions much better

when I'm not standing at
the bottom of a wine vat.

Next time you'll play dead

and I'll make up
the reasons why.

Quiet, please.

And, uh, now

if you don't mind, uh

take off your jacket, please.

Just, uh, drop it anywhere.

And the gun.

I've already been
relieved of that.

The holster then.

And, uh, one shoe.

'Either one.'

Thank you.

Uh, pull the ladder up, Jack.

I have to remember this
one shoe bit. It's very good.

Hmm. Throws you just enough off
balance to slow you down a bit.

- Mm-hmm.
- Gives me a little edge.

(Jordin)
'Sit down, please.'

Uh, sit on your hands.

Palms up,
if you don't mind.

Makes it harder
to get up again, doesn't it?

That's my impression.

[clears throat]

I, uh, don't mean to complain

you've been very nice
and all that

but it is a little
cold in here.

Thank you.

(Jordin)
'Now, we can get down to cases'

review the data,
bring everything up to date

and go on from there.

'Now, we, uh..'

We have a biochemist
named, uh...Lancer

who disappears for a while

and the next time we see him
he calls himself Bainbridge.

'And appears to be
30 years younger.'

Is appearance reality?

Is Bainbridge really Lancer?

Now, we look and another
biochemist disappears.

A former student

an associate of
Lancer's called

'Professor Alexander Gritsky.'

What is U.N.C.L.E. Agent
Napoleon Solo's

interest in all this?

Now, U.N.C.L.E. sends
another agent Illya Kuryakin

to the London Soho.

Kuryakin follows cats.

'Questions.'

- Why does Kuryakin--
- Lazarus.

I beg your pardon.

Lazarus, the...chap
who rose from the dead.

Mr. Jordin..

Look out, Napoleon!

[explosion]

[coughing]

I thought you had
a little more style

than to try
an old trick like that.

I don't know
what you mean.

Well, money clip,
I'm surprised at you.

It is also a bomb.

- Really?
- Really.

Really?

[explosion]

Really.

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music]

Hello, Sir Charles.

How are you?

Good to see you..

How are you?

[indistinct chatter]

Excuse me for one moment.

[indistinct chatter]

Gentlemen.

I must say, Sir Norman,
you look a good deal younger

than the last time we met.

So it appears.

We shall have to
have your secret, sir.

What secret?

Whether or not you
describe it as a miracle

a genuine process
of rejuvenation does exist

doesn't it?

- Does it?
- Yes.

Developed by Dr. Lancer
and Professor Alexander Gritsky.

Go on.

And since Dr. Lancer is dead

the power of the process
remains with Professor Gritsky.

A fair deduction.

Would you tell us where
Professor Gritsky is?

'So we can protect him?'

From whom?

There are probably THRUSH agents

in the Byram Club right now.

'Ready to snatch your secret.'

'And put it to their own use.'

Mr. Solo, you're laboring under
a terrible misapprehension.

The only secret in my possession

is my marriage to Madam De Sala.

And that'll only be a secret
until tomorrow

when it is announced
in all the papers.

Sir Norman,
a truly effective process

of rejuvenation
is no joking matter.

I quite agree.

But until one
has been discovered

I can only recommend
the one I have tried.

Marriage to the right woman.

What you see in me
is only a-a reflection

of what my wife sees.

And now, if you'll excuse me

I have a great number of people

waiting for me outside.

Good day, gentlemen.

I must say Sir Norman
is everything

the Swickert legend says he is.

Alright, where do we
go from here?

Well, what if we were THRUSH?

What do we want?

We want Sir Norman,
or do we want..

Want what?

[chuckles]

I think our friends
from THRUSH

have been eavesdropping.

(Kuryakin)
'Well, it won't
be the first time.'

Let's see what kind of
an earache we can give them.

[whistles]

Hh-hmm. Too late, my friends.
Too late.

Shall we go?

[dramatic music]

Alright, spread out.

Bring the stretcher.

[clicking]

- Time to go.
- In one moment.

[gunshots]

[music continues]

[gunshot]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

Have you been introduced?

[instrumental music]

[clicks]

[siren blaring]

[birds chirping]

(Solo)
'Hmm.'

[radio beeping]

Here.

Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin
responding.

What further developments,
Mr. Solo?

Uh, it's very quiet here, sir.

Mrs. Swickert has made
two calls.

'The second one was answered
by the police in her office.'

'So she knows about
the murder and the kidnapping.'

Anything on your end?

We picked up the ambulance

they used to carry Gritsky.

They left it at
a small private airport.

Then continued on
with Gritsky by plane.

That's the last
we know of them, till now.

(Waverly)
'So stay with it, Mr. Solo.'

'You and Mr. Kuryakin.'

'They'll most certainly try
to contact Mrs. Swickert.'

Yes, we shall be there, sir.

Oh, let's hope so, Mr. Solo.

[ringing on radio]

(De Sala)
'Hello?'

(Jordin)
'I'd like to speak to the lady
of the house.'

Yes, I'm listening.

Jordin is the name. J-O-R-D-I-N.

'Insurance with a difference.'

'Uh, we prevent sickness or, um'

'accident before it happens.'

Yes.

We recently acquired a client
who may need some prevention

by the name
of Alexander Gritsky.

I am listening very carefully.

Yes. Well, in view
of the present condition

of your husband, we thought
we might kill two birds

with one stone, and, uh..

Well, I'd like to
get together with you

and discuss
the whole package.

Why don't you get into your car

'and take a little drive'

'by way of Marsh Ealing.'

'Just go straight on
through the village'

'and, uh, see what happens
after that.'

[clicks]

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

[doorbell rings]

Good morning, Miss Sweet.

- What do you want with him?
- Now, just be quiet.

Hey, you are to take
your hands off of him.

I'm just trying to awaken him.

Well, you'll have no luck
with it, I can promise you that.

The man is asleep
with a heavy sedation.

So you can spare
yourself the effort

and keep your hands off of him.

[radio beeping]

- Napoleon Solo.
- 'Napoleon?'

(Kuryakin)
'Lady Swickert's car
is approaching.'

'Alright, I'll talk to you
later, Illya.'

[car engine revving]

[tires screeching]

[thudding]

Excuse me.

Uh, you've crumpled my fender.

Will you please get your car
out of our way?

You've crumpled my fender.

Will you please move that car?

Yes, ma'am.

- Lady Swickert, I presume.
- Yes, it is.

And I'm willing to concede

absolutely that it is our fault.

Now, will you please
let us get on?

The insurance, um

do you have a pencil?

If you don't mind

I'll just write this,
formalities, you know.

[chuckles]
Wo-would you mind
awfully, if I, uh..

Something to lean on
or I'll damage the paint.

Fleeton, will you please hurry?

Yes, ma'am.

[instrumental music]

- 'Bag?'
- Yes.

Here's insurance and your pen.

[indistinct]

[instrumental music]

(Jordin)
Good morning.

[gunshot]

[horn honking]

[car engine stops]

- Was that really necessary?
- Oh, he isn't dead.

I just put him to sleep
with a tranquilizing charge.

Mind you, I'll have to
have him killed

if I can't come
to an agreement with you.

- As you did with Olga.
- Ah, self-defense there.

I think we should talk
very directly.

Yes.

(Jordin on radio)
'Last night before we took
Professor Gritsky'

you had power, now you don't.

If you want us to,
we'll give it back to you.

- Who is your "we?"
- Uh, THRUSH.

And what do you require of me?

Oh, simply that
from time to time

as you guide your husband
through the treacherous

'paths of political decision'

'you allow yourself
to be guided by us.'

I see.

Why is there no sound of her?

She's thinking.

Very well.
I shall do it for my husband.

Lucky man.

[radio turns off]

I'm glad he is asleep
and cannot hear that.

(Solo)
'What if he had heard it?'

'He would've had to believe it.'

And where would he find the
wanting to live in that case?

Man's fate, my dear, you must
take the bitter with the sweet.

[sighs]
You're not as wise as ya think.

You're not wise at all.

'You're nothing but a young man
without any feeling.'

Mr. Solo...do not
force him to know.

It would be an unkindness
such as you could never imagine.

'Oh, last night
he was so content'

'looking forward
to this evening.'

Oh, what's happening
this evening?

Oh, there's to be a meeting
with a great many

of the most important
political men.

Uh, he was working
on his speech.

Overseas relay.

Channel D, Napoleon Solo.

Yes, come in, Mr. Solo.

May I assume, sir, that you know

Sir Norman Swickert very well?

Since before you were born,
Mr. Solo.

Hmm.

I think you should come
to England tonight

and talk to him personally.

I have it on
good authority that..

...I'm a very young man
and not wise enough.

That there's going to be
a decisive meeting

tonight at Sir Norman's house.

Oh. Well, alright,
I can just make it.

Alright, Mr. Solo,
I'll join you there tonight.

Thank you.

Get his medicine.

It's on the table over there.

(Jordin)
'No, no, Mr. Solo.'

Back to the old wine press
for you, I'm afraid.

Come on, professor,
we haven't got all day.

Enormous strains on the heart
take place in this process.

This man is in no condition
to undergo a treatment now.

His pulse is racing,
his systolic pressure

'is dangerously high.'

It is only the excitement.

I do not kill anyone
for anybody!

I'm a scientist.

I do what is
the right thing to do.

Be careful, professor.

With a small additional effort

it should be possible to
replace you with a computer.

Ugh, this isn't leading us
anywhere.

Why don't you let me talk
to the good professor alone?

After all, it's my life
he's worried about.

I'm certain I can persuade him

with the absolute necessity

of going through with it.

Very well,
but don't be too long.

Stay here and keep an eye
on things.

I'm in a situation
that does not allow

consideration of fragility.

You do not understand
what is involved here.

We reverse all
the metabolic processes

'at an accelerated rate.'

'We go too fast,
you'll end up as a boy.'

A dead boy.

All I need is a few more hours
of strength

to do...what has to be done.

It is a great risk, Sir Norman.

Great causes
require great risks.

When in doubt, press on,
my friend, press on.

"Excelsior."

There is no one to help us
but ourselves.

[instrumental music]

[whirring]

[instrumental music]

[doorbell ringing]

Lady Swickert.

Yes.

I'm Alexander Waverly.

I'm an old friend
of Sir Norman's.

(Waverly)
'I happened to be in London
I felt I couldn't'

leave without paying
my respects.

I'm sure Sir Norman
will be delighted.

Uh, Mr. Jordin will take care
of you, Mr. W-W..

- Waverly.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm very bad at
remembering new names.

Uh, would you excuse me, please?

Uh, gentlemen, shall we go in?

You please come with me,
Mr. Waverly.

- So, you're Jordin.
- You're humble servant, sir.

Young man, if you had
half the manners

you pretend to have,
you'd have first allowed me

to get rid of my coat
and things.

Then you would've pointed
your gun at me.

A nice point, sir. My apologies.

With regard to your apologies,
you left my umbrella.

What makes you think
it's so innocent as it seems?

Anything can be built
into an umbrella.

Once more, I stand corrected.

'And once more I apologize.'

Yes, apologies, apologies.

But when one has good manners,
there's no need to apologize.

'Where is Sir Norman?'

It, um, maybe a little while
before he can see you.

Meantime, let me show you
where you can wait.

[instrumental music]

Mr. Solo, there you are.

A young lady with you,
of course.

Uh, Miss Sweet, Mr. Waverly.

- How do you do, sir?
- Hello, Miss Sweet.

What's a nice girl like you
doing in a place like this?

I'm afraid this trip
wasn't necessary

I would've let you know sooner

but they cut off
my mailing privileges.

Mr. Solo, I wouldn't have missed
this excursion for anything.

However, I must be back
in New York

by tomorrow noon latest.

So I'm afraid we're going
to be somewhat pressed..

[whirring]

No pun intended.

I still think I should not
have allowed you

to talk me into this,
Sir Norman.

I do not like the way
your heart beats.

I feel fine.

This is a great thing you've
discovered, you and Lancer.

A dream of the age is realized.

A fountain of youth.

What a temptation to a man
fighting the onset of age.

Is that so wrong? Huh.

Yes, it is.

It's a terrible thing when
a dream becomes a nightmare.

I've lived with it
for sometime now.

I know what it's done to me.

It's made me a helpless puppet

in the hands of those
who control the process.

Uh, but, Sir Norman,
they do not have the formula.

It is only I who possess
the secret.

How long do you
suppose it'll be

before they force you
to disclose it?

Hmm.

I've thought of this
many times, Sir Norman.

I'm afraid it is too late now.

Not if we bury the secret
right here and now.

Then you'll have to bury..

You'll have to bury me
with the secret.

[sighs]
That is the hardest part of it.

And now that I
understand you better

let me remind you of the
consequences of any betrayal.

I'm sorry, professor, but
you do understand, don't you?

You'll have all the time in the
world for explanations later.

Right now, you'll have to
get changed.

You have a roomful
of guests waiting for you.

Goodbye, professor.

I hope you know
what has to be done.

[clicking]

[car engine revving]

Uh, we never did settle
the matter

of my broken fender
with Sir Norman.

So, would you mind opening
the gates like a good fellow?

No visitors, tonight.

Some other time, perhaps.

[grunting]

[grunting]

[dramatic music]

(Waverly)
'I hope I don't embarrass you.'

It's not my habit
to disrobe in public.

But this time I'm afraid
there's no help for it.

You-you can open
your eyes again now.

Research and Development
are rather proud of this device.

They produce it in three forms.

An explosion, uh,
an ultrasonic..

...and this is an incendiary
device of some sort, I believe.

Oh. Oh.

Mr. Solo will do the honors.

And if you and I are wise
like Lot's wife

we'd better not look.

Go.

Now...once one is in
a closed container

'he is forced to eliminate'

high explosive
as a means of escape.

Unless he wants to escape
by blowing himself in.

Yes?

[explosion]

[gunshots]

[Sweet gasps]

Where's your friend?

Ah, Kuryakin, glad you came.

Here, you take this,
I don't want it.

Now, Mr. Solo, if you
and your associate here

will search out Dr. Gritsky

Miss Sweet and I will join
the others in the house.

Come on, dear.

[indistinct chatter]

Good luck, darling.

Good evening, gentlemen.

[applause]

You all know me, you know
my reputation for punctuality

I'm late tonight.

But if I'm to look
good at my age

the preparation takes
a little longer.

[laughter]

[dramatic music]

[grunting]

We are gathered in this room
here tonight

to discuss the future.

My future.

'But it is your future'

'that concerns me here.'

My sudden and miraculous

return to strength and vigor

is only an illusion.

But even an illusion can be

'a sinister weapon'

'in the hands of the enemy.'

'A few minutes ago'

I tried to kill

a gentle, kind old man

'to prevent him from being
made use of by the enemy.'

'Unfortunately, I waited
too long to pull the trigger.'

'Don't you make
the same mistake.'

'You must destroy..'

[gunshot]

[indistinct chatter]

[groans]

You didn't expect this..

...did you, Norman?

Neither did I.

[dramatic music]

The wounds of time
are never healed.

They just grow old
with time itself.

[Solo coughs]

[whirring]

Professor Gritsky.

Here are his notes.

[whirring continues]

Here's something.

[dramatic music]

(Solo)
'Looks like he had an overdose
of his own medicine.'

Good thing for all of us
at one time or another.

I'll have the professor's
notebook, Mr. Kuryakin.

Toss it over here.

Carefully.

Jordin, why don't
you give it up?

Why should I?

I have the notes.

We'll duplicate the process.

And after I destroy the machine

I will have sole possession

of the late
Dr. Gritsky's secret.

I wouldn't do that
if I were you.

I'll be with you
in just a minute.

[explosion]

[coughing]

[dramatic music]

The doctor booby-trapped
the machine.

Said so in his notes.

Aye. Well, thanks
for letting me know, lad.

Well, at least he won't have to
worry about getting any older.

No luck, gentlemen?

No, it's even beyond the ability

of the computers,
they are unable

to decipher the formula.

Thank you.

Strange.

Locked in this book is the
secret of immortality, perhaps.

Why do scientist always insist

on keeping their notes in code?

Well, they were
able to decipher

the notebooks
of Leonardo da Vinci

in a little less than 300 years.

That should offer us some hope.

I'm afraid, gentlemen..

...in my position
and in my time of life

that's much too long to wait.

[instrumental music]