Original subtitles

In New York City...

on a street in the East Forties, there's an ordinary tailor shop.

Or is it ordinary?

We entered through the agents' entrance and we are now in U.N.C.L.E. headquarters.

That's the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement.

U.N.C.L.E. is an organization consisting of agents of all nationalities.

It's involved in maintaining political and legal order anywhere in the world.

My name is Napoleon Solo.

I'm enforcement agent in Section Two here.

That's Operations and Enforcement.

I am Illya Kuryakin. I'm also an enforcement agent.

Like my friend Napoleon, I go and I do whatever I am told to by our chief.

Huh? Oh, yes. Alexander Waverly.

Number One in Section One.

In charge of this, our New York headquarters.

It's from here that I send these young men on their various missions.

You couldn't hit that bottle if you had to.

- Boy, that was a nice one. - He hit it.

So what? It was so big, anybody could hit it.

So? BOY 2: I hit it.

- Try it. I hit it. - Go left.

- Hey, look at that. - Look, a barrel.

Okay, try to hit the lid.

- All right. - You got it.

Let's get out of here.

The tattoo, of course, was a stroke of pure luck.

Why the man hadn't had the thing obliterated

years ago, I'll never understand.

The Nazi Gestapo insignia.

It's correct. We have identification on him from our wartime German files.

Who was he? Count Dracula?

He was a Major Ernst Neubel.

Reported killed 20 years ago, during the last months of the war with Germany.

Which brings us to another man.

- Volp, Wolfgang. - German.

Doctor of Medicine, Doctor of Philosophy. He was a brilliant medical researcher.

His field was blood chemistry.

The SS man we found yesterday was assigned to Volp in 1944.

He headed an elite guard of security personnel...

who went to almost incredible lengths to keep Volp's last experiment secret.

They succeeded admirably.

Three weeks before the fall of Berlin...

Volp's laboratory was destroyed along with its entire personnel.

So we believed.

Except Neubel wasn't blown up, it now appears.

Precisely. Neubel survived.

And something else may also have survived.

- A stamp. - Stamp?

Volp was also a stamp collector.

He owned several unique, one-of-a-kind items of great value.

The collection was presumed lost in the explosion.

But tonight, here in Manhattan, at a stamp auction...

what may be one of Volp's stamps is being offered for sale.

If Neubel survived and the collection survived...

then there's a pretty good chance Herr Doktor Volp made it too.

Also, whatever it was he was so secretly experimenting upon.

All come to order. We'll get the sale started.

Has everybody got a number? You have to have a number.

We know you are here by number only.

When you bid, bid silently, by raising your hand.

Last hand up, you have the highest bid and you're the winner.

Bids start off with one of the mail bids and we'll go from there.

- How's the punch? - It just went flat.

Someone recognize you?

Not recognized. Greeted me like a long-lost brother.

It seems Thrush has elected to join the game of philately.

She just went into the auction room.

Next number is number 2.

And the bid is $40. Forty, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45?

Angelique.

You must tell me what it's like...

romancing a woman who would kill you without a qualm...

if Thrush ordered it.

It adds spice, Illya.

And besides, I flatter myself that she might have a few qualms.

Three, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 40, 40, $40.

Sold, $40 dollars, to number 105.

Section number, number 4.

Darling, how wonderful to see you. It's been much too long.

Angelique, you're just as beautiful as you were in Switzerland.

I'll never forget you standing there on that mountain road...

with your gun in your hand.

Sweetheart. Come, we must talk.

Your place or mine?

Darling, business first.

If we don't do our jobs, they won't let us play together.

N'est-ce pas?

Sold. $200, number 105.

I'm afraid you're right.

Well, let's get on with it.

And the next number is Number 7. And the bid is 150,000.

One fifty, 150, 155, 160, 165, 170, 175...

180, 185, 200. Do I hear...?

Oh, really, Napoleon. Your friend is much too grim.

And the truth is, he's jealous.

Then he should realize that even in war, enemies must occasionally negotiate.

And if the emissaries become friends, what harm would there be in that?

Angelique, you're marvelous.

If Thrush had another dozen like you, they could rule the world.

Darling, another dozen like me and there'd be no need for Thrush.

Now, we both know why we're here.

My people and your people are more than interested in one particular stamp.

Should we start the competition tonight?

Yes, I see. We start bidding against one another...

we could probably set a world's record for a stamp's purchase price.

And if we did that...

we more than likely have frightened Dr. Volp away from any of us.

So a truce?

Agreed. One of us buys it.

And truce remains in effect until we've had it examined.

Now, who buys it?

Heads, I buy. Tails, you buy.

Sorry, darling. Force of habit.

I believe I win by a default.

Shall we go in?

Without question, the finest 1874...

single Schleswig-Holstein 70 Kreuzer.

A desecration.

- Who would do such a dreadful thing? - Something wrong?

When I was a boy in Prague, I saw this stamp in an exhibition.

But at that time, it was one of a pair.

Since that time, someone has separated them.

And that's bad.

Would you tear the Mona Lisa in half?

It's a desecration.

But could you tell us if it belongs to the collection of Wolfgang Volp?

Ah. Look.

See these marks on the back, huh?

This is the mark of Apaldi, the greatest collector of them all.

Now, when he died, it was purchased by Tirvo.

And here is Tirvo's identification symbol.

Didn't Volp have his own identifying symbol too?

But of course, Volp must have had a symbol.

And it must be on the other half of the original pair.

Well, love, it's been a memorable evening but I'm afraid the music just stopped.

Really, darling, why don't come over to my side?

Think what fun we could have.

Can I drop you somewhere?

Thank you. No, I have a car waiting.

Goodnight, dear. Take care, now.

She seems happy. Who is dead?

Now, don't be unkind, Illya.

Any woman that gives a man flowers can't be all bad.

An exceedingly dangerous specimen.

One of Angelique's relatives, perhaps?

You mean to tell me that that beautiful young woman just tried to kill you?

You know Shakespeare, my friend?

"What a goodly outside falsehood hath."

Well, there went the goodliest outside in the whole falsehood game.

Can't you call during lunch? We're gonna be late.

No, I cannot. Can't wait until lunch. I wanna know now.

Here, we... Here we go.

Chuck...

You know, I think we ought to make more phone calls together.

Hello. May I have the Auction Department, please?

Hello. This is Mr. Boskirk...

and I'm calling about a stamp that you sold for me in the auction last night.

Yes, that's right, that...

Well, I would like to know if I can come over this afternoon and pick up the money.

Fine.

Fine, thank you. Oh, out of curiosity, what was the realization?

How much?

Thank you, very much.

- Did you hear that? - Uh-uh.

Oh, come on. Don't keep me in suspense.

Six thousand five hundred. You know what our percentage is?

- Six hundred and fifty dollars. - That much?

And more to come. That's what the man said.

Hey.

Maybe, with the extra money...

we don't have to wait until graduation to get married. We could... Hm?

Maybe we could get married during the summer, sometime?

Well, is that all right with you or isn't it?

Of course, it's... It's wonderful, only...

Well, I don't know. Coming out of the blue like this it...

It just seems too good to be true.

You know something? I think you worry too much.

Come on. We're both gonna be late.

Yes.

You are late, Mr. Boskirk.

I'm sorry, sir. I had to make a phone call.

All right. You may take you place.

Thank you, Professor Amadeus.

Today, we will continue with the study of enzyme action...

in the product known as yogurt.

- Look. - Cash?

That's what the man said he wanted.

Come on.

- The boy. - No chance, they got him.

- Well? - Guards had no identification.

Fingerprints removed by surgery. Standard Thrush commando outfit.

Thrush?

A very powerful group of renegades who want to rule the world.

Now, how did Chuck get the stamp?

Well, it just came one day in the mail.

There was a letter saying it had belonged to a helpless invalid...

and Chuck's name had reached him through reliable sources.

The whole thing seems so terribly phony.

But... Well, I guess at the time we just wanted to believe it.

- Because you wanted the money. - Wanted it?

It just meant we wouldn't have to wait to get married.

Did the letter make any arrangements...

for getting the money to the owner of the stamp?

It just said he'd be contacted later.

He sure was contacted, wasn't he?

Will I ever see him again?

When the kidnappers question Chuck and find out how little he really knows...

they'll probably let him go.

But... Well, how will he find me?

I don't even know how I got into this building.

Didn't you explain the route to Terry?

If you will recall, we walk into a building...

climb two flights, went into an office and through a door.

We entered an elevator, descended three flights...

opened a wall, passed through several corridors...

rode an elevator up two stories and here you are.

See how easy it is? As a matter of fact...

I hope to be bringing Chuck to you soon, following the same route.

I think I have a pretty good idea what Thrush's next move is.

Here's the car.

I can make it, thanks.

- Here's your home. - Hm?

Are you still dizzy? It's the sodium pentothal.

- Coffee will make you feel better. - Hey, wait. Listen, I... I want to...

I wanna tell you how much I appreciate what you've done for me...

in getting me away from those men.

Say, you know, I still don't know who you are or who they were.

Right now, I'm not even too sure I know who I am.

Those men belonged to a ring of international criminals.

As for myself, I'm an agent...

for a worldwide organization which works for law and order.

Beyond that I must ask you to trust me.

You've heard of the U.N.C.L.E.?

Am I such an untrustworthy character?

Well, let's just say that you're...

confusing.

Shall I make us some coffee in your room?

- Help. - Resisting an officer? That's not smart.

What tricks are you playing now?

Me? Well, I'm just a private citizen helping an officer make an arrest.

It was something to do with immigration.

About being employed without a work permit.

Wait a minute. This lady helped me get away from some very dangerous men.

Oh, I'll bet she did. Mm-hm. Loaded with blanks.

She wasn't trying to help you escape. She was giving you more leash.

Come on. Terry's waiting for you. I'll drive you there.

- This really is a policeman? - He really is, sweet.

I don't imagine he can hold you for more

than a couple of hours. But every bit helps.

You've been very unkind to me tonight.

I suppose you think you've won the war. In fact, you really lost the peace.

Now, any calls coming into your apartment, Chuck, ring directly here.

We've had your place under surveillance since early evening.

Now, at 8:15, the calls started coming.

The phone has rung at half-hour intervals ever since.

We've just let it ring, of course.

You think whoever's been trying to call me is this man you're after...

- the one who sent me the stamp. - We hope so.

There's a chance he may have been scared off...

by the ruckus the opposition caused this afternoon when they kidnapped you.

That's instructions for delivering the money. Just say you'll carry them out.

Talk into this, right there, when I flick the switch. Shh.

Instructions.

Bring money to warehouse...

corner of West 29th Street and 14th Avenue.

Come alone. Come 2:00, exactly.

Instructions understood?

Yes, I understand.

Very cautious man.

It sounded like he was trying to disguise his voice.

Yeah, he was. That means, probably, somebody that you know.

Two o'clock. It's 20 minutes to 2. We better get going.

Do you need Chuck? You know where the man is.

Well, if the man we're after is as cautious as we think he is...

he's liable to run if anybody but Chuck arrives at the warehouse.

Now, don't worry. We'll protect you.

But I won't deny there is some risk involved.

Who can stop now? My curiosity's killing me.

- You have the money? - Oh, yeah.

- What's that? - That is a homer.

It's a miniature radio transmitter that sends out a constant signal.

Must've planted it on you before Angelique played her Great Escape scene.

Anyone with a receiver tuned to its frequency...

can follow it and anyone carrying it...

for a distance of one mile.

I think I'll send this on a little ride in the country.

That'll lead the opposition on a wild goose chase...

and give us a chance to meet your stamp collector.

- Is that another homer? - That's right.

It's broadcasting on our frequency with the receiver in my car.

Okay? Come on.

I thought you said there'd be others here to protect him.

Oh, they're here.

How can they protect if they can't even see him?

It's a loose transistor. Nothing to worry about.

Chuck.

We found the escape route. Tunnel with a hidden exit.

The bomb was nothing fancy.

Nitroglycerin.

This is not Thrush. They would use something more sophisticated.

In this game of hare and hounds, the hare refuses to play a timid role.

Makes it a three-corner game.

Why does Volp go it alone? Why doesn't he just join Thrush?

His work, maybe? It's quite a puzzle.

- What did the doctor say, Chuck? - He thinks she's all right.

But they're taking her to the hospital for a checkup.

Fine. I'll take you there.

You know, she was worried about her midterm exams.

I think she thinks she's gonna have to stay in the hospital.

Do you suppose we could pick up books on the way?

- Where are they? - They're at school.

It won't be out of the way?

It won't be out of the way, Chuck.

I'll keep her busy while you get the books.

Do you think that maybe there's a place for me in your line of work?

No, second thought...

Terry is the jealous type.

Well, they bailed you out in a hurry, love.

It was a thoroughly nauseating experience, Napoleon.

- I don't think I'll ever forgive you. - Well, c'est la guerre.

What's this sudden interest in higher education?

Oh, it's you, Professor Amadeus.

I thought, you know, it was vandals or something.

Oh, no, no. It's only I.

You're here very late, Mr. Boskirk.

Oh, yes, it was kind of an emergency. I had to get some books for my girl.

She had kind of an accident. And she's going to be in the hospital for a while.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm sorry if I startled you. I didn't...

Oh, no, no. It's all right.

- Are you going away or something? - No, I...

No, you see I'm doing some experiments at home...

and I find I need my notes. Yes.

Would you like some help with the boxes?

Well, yes, thank you. They are a bit awkward, please.

- No trouble. - Thank you.

Just put them right here, like so.

- This all right? - Just a little farther forward, please.

Dr. Volp, I presume?

Oh, really, doctor. That isn't necessary.

I'm here to help you.

Come inside.

Stay just there. Don't move.

An elevator. How clever.

Who are you?

How is it you found this place?

Meh?

- Answer me. - Well, that's rather a long story.

You see, I work for a very powerful, very far-flung organization...

dedicated to making the world safe for fugitive scientists like yourself.

- Illya, come in. - Where are you, Napoleon?

Chuck's homing device indicates he's been taken to 348 Superior.

I'll leave right away with a couple of men.

I'm going to break in right now.

Back me as soon as you can.

Surely, you can see that my friends are your only hope now.

I mean, we're not the only ones seeking you.

You have enemies, Herr Doktor.

Powerful enemies who will stop at nothing.

Ask him. He saw their work earlier tonight.

They even employ police.

Why do you hesitate, Herr Doktor?

Don't you trust me?

There's a radio in there.

I could contact headquarters...

and bring you personal greetings from many of your...

former friends and associates.

They found safe refuge in our organization.

The same safety and freedom we offer you.

As well as unlimited funds with which to complete your experiments.

No need to sell your stamps.

And thereby force yourself to discovery.

What do I care about them? The ones you call my friends.

They were nobodies. Nothings.

And now... What are they now? Old nobody nothings.

The other ones, the important ones, they were my friends.

And one man, who stood above the others, it was for him I worked.

For him, I have lived these last 20 years...

waiting for a new generation to come to manhood in my...

In my poor fatherland.

Waiting till once more there are many young men.

Lost, bitter young men...

needing somebody to guide them, to teach them...

to lead them...

as their parents once were led.

The world thinks he died when Berlin fell.

But like Barbarossa in the legend, he only sleeps...

waiting to rise up again when the fatherland needs him.

I...

I, who have perfected a process for suspending animation...

I alone can wake him.

You're awake?

More or less.

Where's Volp? On a house call, I hope.

In there, where he found you.

Napoleon, is it true what he said? That, in there...

I'm afraid so.

So how long was I out? How long ago did he find me here?

He heard you choking on the fumes and went right in.

Oh, I don't know. It seems a long time ago.

How did you get in there?

I climbed down an air vent from upstairs.

How are you feeling, Chuck?

Boy, does my head hurt.

Still kind of dizzy.

Mainly, I'm scared. I'm scared to death.

Well, it'd be pretty strange if you weren't.

Look, we have help coming.

Exactly how soon...

Let them come. They're already too late.

Barbarossa's pretty ripe, Volp.

I don't think he can muster a following if he comes out...

looking like Neubel did when they found him.

Poor Neubel. A pity. A great pity, ja. But don't be afraid.

I do not intend to make the same mistake twice.

You see?

When the lift is in position at the upper level...

we are effectively sealed in.

And the help that you spoke of will be sealed out.

I see.

So you plan to make this a permanent home for you and your pickled superman?

Oh, hardly. There is an emergency exit. When the... A kind of tunnel.

When the sleeper awakes, he and I will use it together.

Another tunnel. You got a lot of gopher in you.

And now to make certain that we are not disturbed.

What was that?

The house above us is now in flames. It will burn to the ground.

Nobody up there could possibly suspect what is down here.

And even if they did, how could they get through the fire?

My friends, you have made this moment possible.

I will explain it to you, very carefully.

Because I want you to feel fear.

Fear, you see, will release adrenaline into the bloodstream.

Adrenaline will be helpful in the process of revival.

Blood is the key to my entire discovery.

Even I, myself, did not realize how important it was...

until the unfortunate failure with Neubel.

You see, with Neubel, I used his own blood supply...

chemically preserved and stored separately...

at the time that he was put into suspended animation.

But, as you, yourself, are already aware, that is not the way to do it.

Poor Neubel began to... To decay within a matter of hours.

And so, I realized that the only answer...

is whole, fresh blood.

That is why I sold my stamps.

I wanted to buy the blood discreetly at the blood banks.

And then, suddenly, tonight...

all of my efforts, my years of patience, seemed doomed.

There was no time to buy blood.

The blood of these two was the wrong type...

and then you came.

The answer to my last, desperate prayers.

Your blood is the right type.

At this moment...

the preserving fluid is being drained from his veins...

and will be replaced with fresh, whole blood.

My friends, yours will be a unique honor.

It is through you...

that he will live again.

I'm sorry that you will not be here to enjoy your reflected glory.

Of course, unfortunately, he will require your entire blood supply.

Hold still now.

Please, do not move your arm.

It moved! Look at it!

So these movements that you see, they are mere nerve spasms.

They're caused by the reviving fluid which has now begun to enter his veins...

and is cleansing and stimulating his vital organs.

And he will not be truly awake...

until the new blood supply is circulating through his brain.

So four minutes more of the reviving fluid...

and then we are ready for your contribution.

I wondered how long that would take.

Flames exploded the gas tank. That's burning gasoline seeping through.

This whole place will be ablaze in a lot less than four minutes.

No, no. Just a few more minutes.

I've come too far. We can't desert him now.

What about me? Are you gonna leave us here to burn?

Well, what else can I do?

Shoot me. The boy too. It'll be quicker.

Solo.

So which do you prefer?

- In the heart or the head? - Wherever you think it will hurt less.

- You're the doctor. - In the head, then.

Would you please to close your eyes?

No. No, you will spoil everything.

Get out of here through the tunnel, before the smoke finishes you.

Hold on.

All right.

I'll take him, darling. After all, that's why I'm here.

Angelique, there's no time.

Thrush wants him and Thrush will have him.

Herr Doktor? Over here.

All right. Get him out of here, Illya.

Now.

No!

What was that that went into the flames?

Something that should have died a long time ago.

How'd you find the tunnel?

The smoke, it's coming up through a manhole cover.

Wait.

All right, you'll have a week in Tahiti. Then back by Honolulu to San Francisco.

- Now, how does that sound? - Now, that's what I call a honeymoon.

Hey, now. Wait a minute. After a trip like this...

are you going to be satisfied keeping house in a cold-water flat?

Now, we thought of that too.

- What is it? - This is Volp's stamp collection.

We found it in a safe-deposit box in Manhattan.

And since he has no heirs, we would like you to have it.

- The whole collection? - Mm-hm.

I think that'll set you up in something a little bit better than a cold-water flat.

Thank you.

Mr. Solo...

we appreciate the trip. It's lovely. And we'll remember it all our lives.

- But I don't think... - We...

We wouldn't feel like plain old American newlyweds...

if we couldn't pinch pennies the first few years.

Why don't... Why don't we give it back to the college?

Yeah, as a kind of bequest from Professor Amadeus.

All right. To the college it goes.

Excuse me.

You have a caller. At the security entrance.

Now?

You'd better attend to it before the place gets a bad name.

Excuse me. Duty summons.

Wait a minute. Just in case you don't make it to the wedding.

Listen, don't sell your line of work short. There's a lot to recommend it.

Hello, darling.

Did you miss me?

I did wonder what became of you after the fire.

You didn't hang around to say good night.

To tell the truth, I was trying to figure out a way...

how to get Dr. Volp's papers away from you.

Unfortunately, the opportunity didn't present itself.

When did you ever wait for an opportunity?

That opportunity just passed.

Truce time?

No spiders?

Just me, darling.

Since you put it that way...

I guess it's all right.