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1
00:00:02,222 --> 00:00:05,058
Are you ready to meet
the Sexiest Villain Alive?
2
00:00:05,058 --> 00:00:08,061
Because Helen Villigan
is ready to crown 'em.
3
00:00:08,061 --> 00:00:11,335
The nominations are in
for the eighth annual
4
00:00:11,337 --> 00:00:15,319
Villigans Sexiest Villain
Alive awards!
5
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,987
Ugh! Look at that.
6
00:00:16,987 --> 00:00:19,740
They're treating
villains like steaks.
7
00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:23,827
These sexy awards shows are
so reductive.
8
00:00:23,827 --> 00:00:26,288
Ooh, the rumor mill is humming.
9
00:00:26,288 --> 00:00:29,666
Who will be this year's winner?
Will it be "the good"?
10
00:00:29,666 --> 00:00:33,837
As in six-time SVA champ,
Lex Luthor?
11
00:00:33,837 --> 00:00:35,172
It's seven.
12
00:00:35,172 --> 00:00:37,632
Just kidding, Lex.
We know it's seven.
13
00:00:37,632 --> 00:00:40,552
Or could it be "the bad"?
14
00:00:40,552 --> 00:00:44,056
As in, Gotham's newest
bad boy, Beast Mode.
15
00:00:44,056 --> 00:00:49,186
Fuck, yeah! I'mma serve
them up some Beast-a-la-Mode!
16
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,939
Laff Trak gets it. Shots!
17
00:00:52,939 --> 00:00:55,317
Ooh, Glider.
Your boyfriend's moving up in the world.
18
00:00:55,317 --> 00:00:57,486
He is not my boyfriend.
19
00:00:57,486 --> 00:00:59,404
What happened to you, Chuck?
20
00:00:59,404 --> 00:01:02,824
Seems the last few days or so,
he's been a little too cool for school.
21
00:01:02,824 --> 00:01:05,535
He's insufferable.
God, I hope he loses.
22
00:01:05,535 --> 00:01:06,828
Who cares?
23
00:01:06,828 --> 00:01:09,623
It is a vapid,
meaningless contest.
24
00:01:09,623 --> 00:01:12,334
Or will it be "the ugly"?
25
00:01:12,334 --> 00:01:15,003
Like this year's
dark horse nominee, Bane!
26
00:01:15,003 --> 00:01:19,299
Holy shit!
I'm nominated?
27
00:01:19,299 --> 00:01:21,677
That's fucking amazing.
28
00:01:21,677 --> 00:01:24,179
You guys really think
I can win?
29
00:01:24,179 --> 00:01:26,181
Not in that outfit.
30
00:01:26,181 --> 00:01:29,059
And the winner will be unveiled
tomorrow night at the Legion of Doom,
31
00:01:29,059 --> 00:01:33,563
hosted by yours truly,
presented by Villigans.
32
00:01:38,110 --> 00:01:40,696
They name-checked Lex, Bane,
and Beast Mode,
33
00:01:40,696 --> 00:01:42,155
but what about Moe Dubelz?
34
00:01:42,155 --> 00:01:44,261
I already got a nice tuxedo
picked out for us.
35
00:01:44,263 --> 00:01:45,718
I'm not going
with you to the awards.
36
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,112
The fuck are you talking about?
37
00:01:47,114 --> 00:01:48,912
If I'm going,
you're obviously going with me.
38
00:01:48,912 --> 00:01:51,373
I'm going with you,
but not with you.
39
00:01:51,373 --> 00:01:52,916
I have a date.
40
00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:55,168
Uh-uh. Don't give me that look.
We're not a thing.
41
00:01:55,168 --> 00:01:57,671
At best, we're conjoined twins
who fool around sometimes.
42
00:01:57,671 --> 00:01:58,711
Oh, that's bullshit.
43
00:01:58,713 --> 00:02:00,679
If you got a date,
then I'm bringing one too.
44
00:02:00,681 --> 00:02:01,942
- Fine.
- Fine.
45
00:02:03,635 --> 00:02:06,888
Greetings, losers.
46
00:02:06,888 --> 00:02:10,905
- Ugh!
- Kite! Uh, Beast, uh, Man Mode.
47
00:02:10,907 --> 00:02:15,605
Isn't it cool that we are both in
the running for Sexiest Villain Alive?
48
00:02:15,605 --> 00:02:17,649
Yeah.
You may be in the running,
49
00:02:17,649 --> 00:02:19,735
but everyone's
gonna run from you,
50
00:02:19,735 --> 00:02:22,070
'cause you look
like a dummy. Whuppah!
51
00:02:23,574 --> 00:02:24,701
Grumble, grumble.
52
00:02:24,702 --> 00:02:27,058
You're literally just
saying the word, "grumble."
53
00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:29,494
Shuffles off angrily!
54
00:02:29,494 --> 00:02:31,496
Listen, Chuck, we need to talk.
55
00:02:31,496 --> 00:02:32,664
Yeah, we do.
56
00:02:32,664 --> 00:02:34,124
Been rethinking our biz strat.
57
00:02:34,124 --> 00:02:36,877
We can't keep catering
to broke losers.
58
00:02:36,877 --> 00:02:40,047
We need to attract
Euro club kids with loose cash.
59
00:02:40,047 --> 00:02:43,300
What? No, I own
50% of Noonan's.
60
00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:44,760
We're not changing it!
61
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,928
No. You own 50% of Club Libido,
62
00:02:46,928 --> 00:02:48,847
'cause I already changed it
to that in my head.
63
00:02:48,847 --> 00:02:50,349
Get out of here, douchebag!
64
00:02:50,349 --> 00:02:52,768
- Now!
- I'm rubber. You're glue.
65
00:02:52,768 --> 00:02:55,604
Whatever you say,
bounces off me and sticks to you.
66
00:02:55,604 --> 00:02:57,105
Whuppah!
67
00:02:58,607 --> 00:03:00,859
- You're an asshole.
- And you have a bloody nose.
68
00:03:00,859 --> 00:03:02,653
- I do not have a bloody--
- Whuppah!
69
00:03:02,653 --> 00:03:05,072
Oh! You fucking prick.
70
00:03:05,072 --> 00:03:08,909
Oh, is that any way to talk
to the Sexiest Villain Alive?
71
00:03:08,909 --> 00:03:11,203
Smell you later!
72
00:03:11,203 --> 00:03:15,082
- Sexiest Villain Alive?
- We'll see about that.
73
00:03:15,082 --> 00:03:18,585
I mean, I thought "grumble,"
was a pretty good comeback.
74
00:03:18,585 --> 00:03:21,088
- You come with me.
- Hmm?
75
00:03:21,088 --> 00:03:22,464
Where are we going?
76
00:03:22,464 --> 00:03:25,133
To a town called,
"Whole New You."
77
00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:27,719
Population... You!
78
00:03:27,719 --> 00:03:29,221
I hate Beast Mode.
79
00:03:29,221 --> 00:03:31,598
What twisted ass-dick power
did they give Chuck?
80
00:03:31,598 --> 00:03:34,142
The pantsing, the "I'm rubber,
you're glue"-ing,
81
00:03:34,142 --> 00:03:35,190
the bloody nose.
82
00:03:35,192 --> 00:03:37,479
That's a sure sign,
Kite Man got the douchebag power.
83
00:03:37,479 --> 00:03:39,898
Well, how do I get him back?
I can't get through to him.
84
00:03:39,898 --> 00:03:42,695
Then you better find
someone who can.
85
00:03:42,697 --> 00:03:48,365
If this goes on much longer, the Kite Man
you know will be gone for good.
86
00:03:48,365 --> 00:03:50,158
I think I know just the person.
87
00:03:50,158 --> 00:03:54,204
Forget it. And be still,
Reginald, you fatty.
88
00:03:54,204 --> 00:03:56,623
Chuck spent his whole life
trying to impress you.
89
00:03:56,623 --> 00:03:58,333
God knows why.
90
00:03:58,333 --> 00:04:01,962
I think maybe you can get him
to give up this stupid power.
91
00:04:01,962 --> 00:04:05,007
But to do that, I'd have
to spend time with him. Pass.
92
00:04:05,007 --> 00:04:06,967
Do it, and I'll
personally guarantee
93
00:04:06,967 --> 00:04:09,553
that Chuck won't call,
text, or email you for a whole year.
94
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:12,848
Mmm. All right,
soft accept. I'm in.
95
00:04:16,977 --> 00:04:23,984
Ooh, sexy guy!
96
00:04:23,984 --> 00:04:25,819
- Ooh!
- First of all,
97
00:04:25,819 --> 00:04:27,946
don't pretend to walk
in slow motion.
98
00:04:27,946 --> 00:04:29,740
It makes you look thirsty.
99
00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,074
Remember, Bane.
100
00:04:31,074 --> 00:04:33,327
You wear the suit,
it doesn't wear you.
101
00:04:33,327 --> 00:04:36,496
But... I... I... I...
Do I look good?
102
00:04:36,496 --> 00:04:38,248
You look fantastic.
103
00:04:38,248 --> 00:04:42,044
If I were a six, instead of a Miami nine,
which is an Atlanta 11,
104
00:04:42,044 --> 00:04:44,546
you'd be in trouble
right now, mister.
105
00:04:44,546 --> 00:04:48,216
Okay.
106
00:04:52,721 --> 00:04:53,972
Nice baby.
107
00:04:53,972 --> 00:04:56,099
Let me know if you need
another one.
108
00:04:58,226 --> 00:04:59,372
Up top!
109
00:05:00,937 --> 00:05:03,357
Hey, Man-Bat!
I saw your last fight.
110
00:05:04,775 --> 00:05:06,902
I've seen better kicks
at Riverdance Junior.
111
00:05:09,738 --> 00:05:11,740
Oops! Two for flinching!
112
00:05:14,076 --> 00:05:15,827
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
113
00:05:15,827 --> 00:05:17,371
I've seen enough.
114
00:05:18,372 --> 00:05:19,831
Chuck!
115
00:05:19,831 --> 00:05:22,985
I have never been
more impressed.
116
00:05:22,987 --> 00:05:24,616
My boy's an Alpha.
117
00:05:24,617 --> 00:05:26,498
Please tell me there's
a spot on your entourage.
118
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:27,923
Are you kidding me, Darryl?
119
00:05:27,923 --> 00:05:29,016
You're not a father.
120
00:05:29,018 --> 00:05:31,510
You wouldn't understand
the joy of seeing your firstborn
121
00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:34,554
throw a stranger through a window
just for fun.
122
00:05:34,554 --> 00:05:35,931
Beast Pops gets it!
123
00:05:35,931 --> 00:05:38,767
And for fuck's sake,
call me Beast Pops.
124
00:05:38,767 --> 00:05:40,435
You're pathetic.
125
00:05:40,435 --> 00:05:44,940
So you finally wanna feast mode
on some Beast Mode?
126
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,421
Help me, Glider.
127
00:05:46,423 --> 00:05:48,652
'Cause let's just say
there's enough for seconds.
128
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,529
I don't think so.
129
00:05:50,529 --> 00:05:51,655
Wait, what did you just say?
130
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:53,740
I said, my dick's too big.
131
00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:55,283
Babe,
please make this stop.
132
00:05:55,283 --> 00:05:57,327
Oh! Trying to get
a look at it?
133
00:05:57,327 --> 00:06:00,288
Oh, Chuck! I'll do anything
to make it stop.
134
00:06:00,288 --> 00:06:02,290
But how? Should we go
to Etrigan?
135
00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:04,793
- Uh, let's go right now.
- Oh, yeah. As if.
136
00:06:04,793 --> 00:06:06,378
How about you go to hell--
137
00:06:06,378 --> 00:06:07,716
...len Villigan.
138
00:06:07,718 --> 00:06:09,494
She's the only one...
Uh, Master Controller.
139
00:06:09,496 --> 00:06:11,717
Her... Her office can
change me back.
140
00:06:11,717 --> 00:06:13,802
...Side.
Your backside.
141
00:06:13,802 --> 00:06:15,345
Turn around.
Let me check it out.
142
00:06:15,345 --> 00:06:17,764
Hey, Beast Mode.
Wanna hit up a titty bar?
143
00:06:17,764 --> 00:06:20,350
I'm a walking titty bar, Dad.
144
00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:21,643
Don't know what that means,
145
00:06:21,643 --> 00:06:23,228
but I have never loved
my son more.
146
00:06:23,228 --> 00:06:26,565
- Aw!
- To the titty bar!
147
00:06:26,565 --> 00:06:29,818
Helen-fucking-Villigan!
148
00:06:31,445 --> 00:06:32,904
Oye! You lot, listen!
149
00:06:32,904 --> 00:06:34,489
Prepare yourselves,
150
00:06:34,489 --> 00:06:38,785
for the Sexiest Villain Alive
has arrived.
151
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,041
Business, business, turn, yeah.
152
00:06:44,041 --> 00:06:46,001
Strut, strut, strut, strut.
153
00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:47,739
Business, business, turn, yeah.
154
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,917
- Vacation guy, sexy, oh!
- Hmm, they're not responding
155
00:06:49,919 --> 00:06:51,798
like he's the sexiest thing
they've ever seen.
156
00:06:51,798 --> 00:06:53,050
Something's missing.
157
00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:55,302
Yeah, chicken nuggets!
158
00:06:55,302 --> 00:06:57,804
We're out, Mal,
and I'm kind of starving.
159
00:06:57,804 --> 00:07:01,183
Just started at Villigan's
and had a long day of deliveries.
160
00:07:01,183 --> 00:07:03,185
I'm trying
to help Bane be sexy.
161
00:07:03,185 --> 00:07:06,730
Well, maybe, he'll be sexier
holding a chicken nugget.
162
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,106
Worth a shot!
163
00:07:08,106 --> 00:07:09,483
Fine.
164
00:07:09,483 --> 00:07:12,527
Gus, I'm going to turn
Beast Mode back into Kite Man.
165
00:07:12,527 --> 00:07:15,072
I need the Master Controller
from Helen Villigan's office.
166
00:07:15,072 --> 00:07:17,032
- How do I get in?
- Oh, that's easy.
167
00:07:17,032 --> 00:07:19,701
Step one, be Helen Villigan.
168
00:07:21,036 --> 00:07:22,704
Ow! I'm sorry.
169
00:07:22,704 --> 00:07:25,374
That... That one gets big yucks
at the fulfillment center.
170
00:07:25,374 --> 00:07:27,876
Yeah, only Helen can
get into her office.
171
00:07:29,044 --> 00:07:31,046
Hey, where are you going?
172
00:07:31,046 --> 00:07:34,091
Oh, well, haven't you become
quite the man about town.
173
00:07:35,967 --> 00:07:37,969
Yeah, and you know
what's 'ronic?
174
00:07:37,969 --> 00:07:40,263
I got this power to be
good enough for Glider,
175
00:07:40,263 --> 00:07:42,641
but now she's not even
good enough for me.
176
00:07:42,641 --> 00:07:44,685
Oh, that is 'ronic.
177
00:07:44,685 --> 00:07:46,228
You know what's
even more 'ronic?
178
00:07:46,228 --> 00:07:48,411
I gave you the douchiest power
in the universe
179
00:07:48,413 --> 00:07:51,624
so I could steal the most powerful thing
in the universe.
180
00:07:51,626 --> 00:07:54,569
I don't think that tech fits
the definish of 'ronic,
181
00:07:54,569 --> 00:07:55,779
but whatevs.
182
00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:57,322
So, what are
you sellin', Helen?
183
00:07:57,322 --> 00:08:01,201
Tonight, you will be crowned
Sexiest Villain Alive.
184
00:08:01,201 --> 00:08:02,953
- Fingers crossed.
- No.
185
00:08:02,953 --> 00:08:06,796
You will be the Sexiest
Villain Alive tonight.
186
00:08:06,798 --> 00:08:09,989
Maybe. And you could be
a Minnesota six if you wore heels more.
187
00:08:09,991 --> 00:08:12,895
Those flats are keeping
the merchandise on the bottom shelf.
188
00:08:12,897 --> 00:08:15,328
Look, dummy,
I pick the winner and I picked you.
189
00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:18,677
So tonight,
during your acceptance speech,
190
00:08:18,677 --> 00:08:21,517
you will unload on Lex Luthor.
191
00:08:21,519 --> 00:08:24,188
- Face or stomach?
- Oh, my God, you make this so hard.
192
00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:27,936
I want Lex so furious
at you that he won't notice
193
00:08:27,936 --> 00:08:29,580
anything else going on
in the room.
194
00:08:29,582 --> 00:08:31,073
What if an elephant walks in?
195
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:32,441
He wouldn't notice.
196
00:08:32,441 --> 00:08:35,485
With clothes on
and a bell on its tail?
197
00:08:35,485 --> 00:08:38,271
While he's distracted,
I'm going to release...
198
00:08:38,273 --> 00:08:40,282
...tiny hummingbird robots
that will find me...
199
00:08:40,282 --> 00:08:43,827
...a very special briefcase
I've been looking for.
200
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:47,372
My infallible algorithm
tells me, Lex stole it,
201
00:08:47,372 --> 00:08:50,459
and it will be
at the Legion of Doom tonight.
202
00:08:50,459 --> 00:08:53,295
Hummingbirds are dumb.
Here's a better idea.
203
00:08:53,295 --> 00:08:55,297
- Leopards.
- Leopards are too big.
204
00:08:55,297 --> 00:08:57,132
Baby leopards then, real ones.
205
00:08:57,132 --> 00:08:58,967
Just off the nippie of momma!
206
00:08:58,967 --> 00:09:00,427
They need to be robots.
207
00:09:00,427 --> 00:09:04,222
Fine, but leopards are
very trainable.
208
00:09:10,479 --> 00:09:12,147
Good Lord!
209
00:09:12,147 --> 00:09:15,484
What are the chances that
something this extraordinary
210
00:09:15,484 --> 00:09:18,654
has been hiding
for who knows how long here?
211
00:09:18,654 --> 00:09:20,585
This changes everything.
212
00:09:20,587 --> 00:09:24,463
This changes everything.
What is in it?
213
00:09:24,465 --> 00:09:25,760
Who gives a shit!
214
00:09:25,761 --> 00:09:28,604
Darling, it's what's on
the outside that counts.
215
00:09:28,606 --> 00:09:30,916
And this is
the perfect accessory.
216
00:09:30,916 --> 00:09:32,376
It was under
the Chick-y Nuggets.
217
00:09:32,378 --> 00:09:35,047
So, that's why
the handle is cold.
218
00:09:35,049 --> 00:09:40,022
Which is ironic
because I have never been hotter.
219
00:09:46,181 --> 00:09:48,058
I've got it,
yeah, yeah.
220
00:09:48,058 --> 00:09:49,393
He's got it.
221
00:09:49,393 --> 00:09:52,229
- Looks good, Bane.
- Damn, what a briefcase.
222
00:09:52,229 --> 00:09:53,939
You look like
a successful businessman.
223
00:09:53,939 --> 00:09:56,605
So, Baney. How do you feel?
224
00:09:56,607 --> 00:10:04,064
Like, uh, like, uh...
Like the Sexiest Villain Alive!
225
00:10:04,997 --> 00:10:07,703
Now just let me do the talking.
226
00:10:07,703 --> 00:10:11,832
I'm so glad you agreed
to see me on such short notice, Helen.
227
00:10:11,832 --> 00:10:14,042
- Hmm.
- Mrs. Villigan.
228
00:10:14,042 --> 00:10:15,544
I thought you left
for the awards.
229
00:10:15,544 --> 00:10:17,754
And now she's back.
Is there a problem?
230
00:10:17,754 --> 00:10:19,840
- Mmm.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Villigan.
231
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,342
- Of course not.
- Please go right in.
232
00:10:26,401 --> 00:10:30,447
Not since my King Lear at the Jewish
Senior Center in Tallahassee
233
00:10:30,449 --> 00:10:33,562
has an entrance been so divine.
234
00:10:34,855 --> 00:10:36,491
My word.
235
00:10:36,493 --> 00:10:39,796
The office where
Villigan's original content was green-lit.
236
00:10:39,798 --> 00:10:42,863
So, what computational trinket
are we hunting?
237
00:10:42,863 --> 00:10:47,089
Like I told you, we're looking
for her Master Controller, Clayface.
238
00:10:47,091 --> 00:10:49,161
- Found it!
- That's a brush.
239
00:10:49,161 --> 00:10:51,413
Hmm. Looks more like this. Oh!
240
00:10:51,413 --> 00:10:54,666
Huh! Then this must be
the associate controller.
241
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,591
Oh, quick, quick, quick, quick.
Turn back into Helen.
242
00:10:58,593 --> 00:11:00,255
This thing requires
a retinal scan.
243
00:11:00,255 --> 00:11:03,800
Well, well, well.
The future of security is now.
244
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,887
Jesus Christ.
I said "retinal scan."
245
00:11:06,887 --> 00:11:09,097
Ah! Retinal scan.
246
00:11:09,097 --> 00:11:11,224
Rectal scan's two-eyed cousin.
247
00:11:11,224 --> 00:11:13,101
Damn it!
248
00:11:13,101 --> 00:11:16,271
This is the only thing that
can change Beast Mode back to Kite Man.
249
00:11:16,271 --> 00:11:17,939
Why won't it scan
your dumb eyes?
250
00:11:17,939 --> 00:11:19,733
Me.
251
00:11:19,733 --> 00:11:22,736
Perhaps my attendance
at yesterday's eclipse watchers meeting
252
00:11:22,736 --> 00:11:24,646
yields a clue.
253
00:11:24,648 --> 00:11:28,484
Pro tip! It is ill-advised to stare
at the sun for 30 consecutive minutes.
254
00:11:28,486 --> 00:11:31,244
Unless you want your retinas
as bald and chapped
255
00:11:31,244 --> 00:11:33,955
as the ass
of Sir Patrick Stewart.
256
00:11:33,955 --> 00:11:35,457
Are you fucking kidding me?
257
00:11:35,457 --> 00:11:38,669
I kid not!
His ass is also bald.
258
00:11:38,669 --> 00:11:40,379
But do not fret, Ms. Glider.
259
00:11:40,379 --> 00:11:43,840
All you need are
Ms. Villigan's real eyes.
260
00:11:52,057 --> 00:11:57,145
I feel sorry
for all these unsexy dweebs.
261
00:11:57,145 --> 00:12:02,484
Oh! There is something so sexy about a man
with only one head on his body.
262
00:12:02,484 --> 00:12:05,654
My head's not the only thing
made of wood, cutie.
263
00:12:05,654 --> 00:12:07,906
Oh! The mouth on you.
264
00:12:07,906 --> 00:12:09,491
I gotta tell you, Insect Queen,
265
00:12:09,491 --> 00:12:11,785
that thorax is
turning my crank.
266
00:12:11,785 --> 00:12:15,122
Aren't you just
a big block of honey?
267
00:12:15,122 --> 00:12:18,125
Really? You're gonna sweet-talk
your egg-laying whore right in front of me.
268
00:12:18,125 --> 00:12:20,836
Moe, you're gonna put up
with this shit from your other head?
269
00:12:20,836 --> 00:12:23,839
Which, by the way,
your dating profile neglected to mention.
270
00:12:23,839 --> 00:12:27,092
- You see what you caused?
- Me? This is my fault?
271
00:12:27,092 --> 00:12:29,052
You know what?
If you don't want me around,
272
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:30,470
sayonara, motherfucker.
273
00:12:31,805 --> 00:12:32,885
Whoa!
274
00:12:34,558 --> 00:12:36,393
Have fun
with your six-legged freak.
275
00:12:36,393 --> 00:12:38,937
- Says the head on the plate.
- Ladies!
276
00:12:38,937 --> 00:12:42,061
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
We're all here to have a good time.
277
00:12:42,063 --> 00:12:44,899
How about me and Moe grab us
some drinks, huh?
278
00:12:47,279 --> 00:12:50,282
I see
you wondering, uh-huh.
279
00:12:50,282 --> 00:12:53,535
Who is that fancy lad
with his shiny silk suit?
280
00:12:53,535 --> 00:12:56,038
Well, let me tell you,
or rather,
281
00:12:56,038 --> 00:12:58,290
let me spell it to you.
282
00:12:58,290 --> 00:13:00,417
Hit it, Malice. Can do.
283
00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:06,214
♪ B-B-B "B" is For back off,
ladies Plenty of me to go around ♪
284
00:13:06,214 --> 00:13:08,008
♪ A-A-A "A" is for Aye ♪
285
00:13:08,008 --> 00:13:10,344
♪ I said, "Back off, ladies"
Seriously! ♪
286
00:13:10,344 --> 00:13:12,429
♪ Didn't you hear me
Say '"B"? ♪
287
00:13:12,429 --> 00:13:15,390
♪ "N"! "N" is
For not listening ♪
288
00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:17,517
♪ I said, "back off" ♪
289
00:13:17,517 --> 00:13:19,875
♪ Because I don't want you
To rip the new suit You know? ♪
290
00:13:19,877 --> 00:13:20,896
Uh...
291
00:13:20,896 --> 00:13:24,399
♪ E-E "E" is for, uh, uh
'Mergency
292
00:13:24,399 --> 00:13:27,194
♪ Yeah, yeah
"E" is for 'mergency, yeah ♪
293
00:13:27,194 --> 00:13:31,740
♪ As we are going to need
to call 'mergency services ♪
294
00:13:31,740 --> 00:13:35,202
♪ 'Cause these ladies
just won't back off of me ♪
295
00:13:35,202 --> 00:13:36,787
♪ Exclamation point ♪
296
00:13:36,787 --> 00:13:38,580
And that spells?
297
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:42,125
Bane!
298
00:13:44,252 --> 00:13:47,339
Well, well, well. This is
some unexpected competish.
299
00:13:47,339 --> 00:13:50,269
Forget Bane. Focus on Lex.
When you win, attack him.
300
00:13:50,271 --> 00:13:53,887
Draw attention. So no one notices
my robot hummingbirds.
301
00:13:53,887 --> 00:13:55,097
Still going with that, huh?
302
00:13:55,097 --> 00:13:56,682
Beast Mode, we're doing shots!
303
00:13:56,682 --> 00:13:59,267
More like the shots are
doing me!
304
00:13:59,267 --> 00:14:02,145
How does he do it?
305
00:14:03,105 --> 00:14:04,940
Eight in a row. Wow!
306
00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:06,400
So unexpected.
307
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,776
Uh, I need to thank, Tanya.
308
00:14:07,776 --> 00:14:09,611
You shine
my head, bright than--
309
00:14:09,611 --> 00:14:11,154
Briefcase?
310
00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:17,119
The Anti-Life Equation.
311
00:14:17,119 --> 00:14:19,121
Hmm.
312
00:14:19,121 --> 00:14:21,373
Mmm.
Love Cabernet.
313
00:14:21,373 --> 00:14:24,001
It has such great body.
314
00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:25,834
Fuck you, bitch!
315
00:14:25,836 --> 00:14:28,619
The only reason I don't have a body is
because it got eaten by bugs.
316
00:14:28,621 --> 00:14:30,966
- Probably your relatives.
- Mmm, hell, no.
317
00:14:30,966 --> 00:14:34,219
Because they know better
than to eat a body before I had a taste.
318
00:14:34,219 --> 00:14:36,013
So this thing with Moe,
is it serious?
319
00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:38,557
I'll let you know
after I get him back to my hives.
320
00:14:38,557 --> 00:14:40,976
So what? You take him to the hive,
fuck him and then--
321
00:14:40,976 --> 00:14:45,147
Preserve him in dried honey
and eat him later?
322
00:14:45,147 --> 00:14:46,773
Yes, please.
323
00:14:46,773 --> 00:14:48,358
Hello, lady.
324
00:14:48,358 --> 00:14:50,319
- Hi.
- Hope you're thirsty.
325
00:14:50,319 --> 00:14:52,821
And here's some cannolis
from the bar.
326
00:14:52,821 --> 00:14:54,990
Ooh! You eat 'em, Moe.
327
00:14:54,990 --> 00:14:58,994
I like my men juicy
and diabetic.
328
00:14:58,994 --> 00:15:01,788
Well, then, I guess
I'm just your type... Two.
329
00:15:01,788 --> 00:15:04,833
Oh, I get it. I get it.
330
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:08,795
How about we go
to my hive and I'll suck your brains out?
331
00:15:08,795 --> 00:15:10,505
Check, please.
332
00:15:10,505 --> 00:15:13,508
She means literally suck
your brains out, dummy.
333
00:15:13,508 --> 00:15:16,553
That stupid man is
gonna get himself killed.
334
00:15:16,553 --> 00:15:19,139
- Toy Man, you got a car?
- Kind of.
335
00:15:19,139 --> 00:15:23,352
Bane, loved your cool song.
You're looking very spiffy.
336
00:15:23,352 --> 00:15:25,437
Uh, don't get
any ideas, Lex.
337
00:15:25,437 --> 00:15:27,147
The briefcase is mine.
338
00:15:27,147 --> 00:15:28,478
Why are you
so protective of it?
339
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,567
I'm not a dummy.
I know what it is.
340
00:15:30,567 --> 00:15:32,618
- The perfect accessory.
- The Anti-Life Equation.
341
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:33,904
Wait, wait.
What was your thing?
342
00:15:33,904 --> 00:15:35,864
Uh, nothing.
I said "the perfect accessory."
343
00:15:35,864 --> 00:15:38,492
No we spoke at the same time
and said different things.
344
00:15:38,492 --> 00:15:40,035
And now you are trying
to cover.
345
00:15:40,035 --> 00:15:42,287
Bane. Bane! Bane.
346
00:15:42,287 --> 00:15:44,206
Why have we
never talked like this?
347
00:15:44,206 --> 00:15:46,166
Sexy buddy to buddy.
348
00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:50,003
Say, how would you like
a seat back at the big table,
349
00:15:50,003 --> 00:15:51,588
The Legion of Doom?
350
00:15:51,588 --> 00:15:54,091
There it is.
Not happening, Lex.
351
00:15:54,091 --> 00:15:55,884
I'm not dropping out.
352
00:15:55,884 --> 00:15:59,763
And when I win, I'll start my own legion
for only sexy people.
353
00:15:59,763 --> 00:16:01,556
Eights and up.
354
00:16:01,556 --> 00:16:04,851
But, like, real eights.
Not Milwaukee eights. Ugh!
355
00:16:04,851 --> 00:16:09,314
I'm thinking of calling it,
The Legion of Damn!
356
00:16:09,314 --> 00:16:10,732
Ow!
357
00:16:29,418 --> 00:16:31,795
What does it mean to be sexy?
358
00:16:31,795 --> 00:16:35,132
Some say sexy is an attitude.
The dictionary says--
359
00:16:35,132 --> 00:16:38,301
It better say,
"Shut the fuck up, and announce the winner,
360
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:39,965
or you're going home
in a hearse."
361
00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:43,515
And this year's
Sexiest Villain Alive is...
362
00:16:43,515 --> 00:16:44,808
Beast Mode!
363
00:16:44,808 --> 00:16:46,268
Oh, yes, yes!
364
00:16:50,147 --> 00:16:51,648
Are you fucking kidding me?
365
00:16:51,648 --> 00:16:54,109
Do they not see
my banging new look?
366
00:16:54,109 --> 00:16:56,153
This is bullshit.
367
00:16:56,153 --> 00:16:57,362
Oh! All right.
368
00:16:57,362 --> 00:16:59,156
Settle down. Wow!
369
00:16:59,156 --> 00:17:00,824
Uh, first I just wanna say
370
00:17:00,824 --> 00:17:02,951
there are no losers
here tonight.
371
00:17:02,951 --> 00:17:05,954
Except for Lex and Bane,
372
00:17:05,954 --> 00:17:08,457
and the rest of you fuckers.
Whuppah!
373
00:17:12,127 --> 00:17:13,628
Oh, don't cry, Lex.
374
00:17:13,628 --> 00:17:15,297
Oh, wait, are those tears...
375
00:17:15,297 --> 00:17:16,882
or just little pre-splooge.
376
00:17:16,882 --> 00:17:19,051
Get it? 'Cause his head
looks like a dick?
377
00:17:20,927 --> 00:17:23,847
The sickest burns
are the ones I call "splainers."
378
00:17:23,847 --> 00:17:28,393
As in "splain to me
why your head looks like a dick."
379
00:17:28,393 --> 00:17:30,646
Who the fuck does
he think he is?
380
00:17:30,646 --> 00:17:32,230
Don't take the bait, Lex.
381
00:17:32,230 --> 00:17:34,358
You'll just look
like an asshole.
382
00:17:35,901 --> 00:17:38,070
You've got
classy taste there, babe.
383
00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:39,655
Thank you.
384
00:17:39,655 --> 00:17:41,323
Now, if you'll excuse me,
385
00:17:41,323 --> 00:17:44,159
I think I'll slip
into an exoskeleton.
386
00:17:44,159 --> 00:17:45,577
They're more comfortable.
387
00:17:47,412 --> 00:17:48,747
So, listen.
388
00:17:48,747 --> 00:17:51,416
Uh, if you don't have
any plans Thursday,
389
00:17:51,416 --> 00:17:53,669
- my sister and her husband--
- Shut up!
390
00:17:53,669 --> 00:17:55,337
Too soon? I knew it.
391
00:17:55,337 --> 00:17:57,673
It's just I'm 33--
392
00:17:57,673 --> 00:17:58,882
Oh, baby.
393
00:17:58,882 --> 00:18:00,634
Your antennas tickle.
394
00:18:00,634 --> 00:18:02,844
Moe. Follow that
creepy laughing.
395
00:18:02,844 --> 00:18:05,764
Whoa, baby.
That's a lotta honey.
396
00:18:05,764 --> 00:18:08,767
Moe, you dumb fuck.
What the hell?
397
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,106
Stop! Change of plans.
398
00:18:14,106 --> 00:18:16,191
Stupid bug.
399
00:18:16,191 --> 00:18:18,860
You should've eaten my body
when you had the chance.
400
00:18:18,860 --> 00:18:23,615
Point is, Lex, no one loves you
and you will die alone.
401
00:18:23,615 --> 00:18:26,410
That's actually
a pretty good one.
402
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:28,453
What else? What else?
403
00:18:28,453 --> 00:18:32,082
What other stuff
about Lex fucking sucks?
404
00:18:32,082 --> 00:18:35,544
Well, I know we wanted
the award, Malice.
405
00:18:35,544 --> 00:18:37,462
But perhaps
the real treasure was
406
00:18:37,462 --> 00:18:40,173
the friends we made
along the way--
407
00:18:40,173 --> 00:18:41,425
I can't even say it.
408
00:18:41,425 --> 00:18:43,176
Yeah, I'm not friends
with losers.
409
00:18:43,176 --> 00:18:45,846
Come on, Chessure.
410
00:18:52,185 --> 00:18:53,770
Lex Luthor?
411
00:18:53,770 --> 00:18:57,733
- More like "Sex pooper."
- Am I right?
412
00:18:57,733 --> 00:19:00,444
Guards, seize Beast Mode.
413
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,155
Whuppah!
414
00:19:04,197 --> 00:19:05,198
Whuppah!
415
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:07,866
Whuppah!
416
00:19:11,246 --> 00:19:14,583
Get... Get away from me,
you stupid humblebirds.
417
00:19:14,583 --> 00:19:16,918
This is
my high fashion 'cessory.
418
00:19:16,918 --> 00:19:20,672
Enough! Stop fucking around
and get me Bane's briefcase.
419
00:19:20,672 --> 00:19:22,632
Hey, Bane. Quick question.
420
00:19:22,632 --> 00:19:25,010
Why are you hitting
yourself? Whuppah!
421
00:19:26,345 --> 00:19:30,474
This briefcase has brought me
nothing but despair!
422
00:19:40,484 --> 00:19:41,541
Glider!
423
00:19:41,543 --> 00:19:44,029
She wants me.
424
00:19:44,029 --> 00:19:47,366
Helen, I think it's time
for your annual eye exam.
425
00:19:47,366 --> 00:19:48,700
- Doctor?
- Yes!
426
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:51,995
'Tis I. A board-certified
optometrist.
427
00:19:51,995 --> 00:19:57,459
Born poor to blind parents,
he vowed one day to find a cure--
428
00:19:57,459 --> 00:19:58,937
Just fucking get her
to look at it.
429
00:19:58,939 --> 00:20:00,462
You don't think
I know what that is?
430
00:20:00,462 --> 00:20:01,797
I'm not looking at it.
431
00:20:01,797 --> 00:20:03,215
Give me the briefcase.
432
00:20:03,215 --> 00:20:05,133
No, give me the briefcase.
433
00:20:05,133 --> 00:20:08,261
Nobody gets it, until Helen uses
this thing to bring Chuck back.
434
00:20:08,261 --> 00:20:11,223
Give me the briefcase, Lisa.
And I'll do what you want.
435
00:20:11,223 --> 00:20:13,809
She lies, Lisa.
Give me the briefcase.
436
00:20:13,809 --> 00:20:16,269
Uh-oh... Oh, God.
Don't make me--
437
00:20:16,269 --> 00:20:17,688
Helen, Jesus Christ,
438
00:20:17,688 --> 00:20:19,481
give her what she wants
before she kills us all.
439
00:20:19,481 --> 00:20:21,400
She won't do that,
440
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,651
because it would kill
her precious Kite Man.
441
00:20:22,651 --> 00:20:24,027
She can't control it.
442
00:20:24,027 --> 00:20:25,862
If she gets too stressed out,
she'll blow!
443
00:20:25,862 --> 00:20:28,490
Then allow me
to de-stress her.
444
00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:31,868
Guards, initiate
ASMR playlist.
445
00:20:31,868 --> 00:20:33,537
Golden Glider.
446
00:20:33,537 --> 00:20:37,666
The sound you barely hear is
a hamster nibbling on a melon.
447
00:20:37,666 --> 00:20:40,919
Something's different. I can--
448
00:20:40,919 --> 00:20:43,505
It will relax you
against your will,
449
00:20:43,505 --> 00:20:46,174
rendering your powers useless.
450
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:48,635
Well, this is new.
451
00:20:48,635 --> 00:20:50,137
I don't know, Lex.
452
00:20:50,137 --> 00:20:53,974
I'm feeling pretty relaxed
and yet in total control.
453
00:20:53,974 --> 00:20:56,101
Uh...
454
00:20:58,854 --> 00:21:00,564
Oh! Ow!
455
00:21:01,315 --> 00:21:02,399
Aw!
456
00:21:02,399 --> 00:21:04,651
Anyone else think
this is funny?
457
00:21:25,714 --> 00:21:29,051
Wait. Don't melt me.
I'll look at the damn thing.
458
00:21:29,051 --> 00:21:31,345
Now close your left eye,
which is better?
459
00:21:31,345 --> 00:21:32,471
- One or--
- Clayface!
460
00:21:32,471 --> 00:21:33,764
We'll call it two.
461
00:21:41,396 --> 00:21:43,899
What the shit? Someone is
in for a serious...
462
00:21:43,899 --> 00:21:45,817
Kiss on the lips
for loving...
463
00:21:45,817 --> 00:21:47,277
My huge dick...
464
00:21:47,277 --> 00:21:48,987
And I... I'm...
465
00:21:48,987 --> 00:21:51,406
...going
away forever!
466
00:21:51,406 --> 00:21:52,949
Goodbye, Beast Mode.
467
00:21:52,949 --> 00:21:55,243
No!
468
00:21:57,245 --> 00:21:58,914
Chuck, is that you?
469
00:21:58,914 --> 00:22:01,500
Hell, yeah.
Uh, what did I miss?
470
00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:03,502
This... Muah!
471
00:22:03,502 --> 00:22:04,628
And this...
472
00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:07,255
And this!
473
00:22:12,552 --> 00:22:14,972
So does he still get the award?
474
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:19,026
Help me guys here:
bit . ly / 3StUtU5
475
00:22:44,793 --> 00:22:46,962
♪ Hell, yeah! ♪
476
00:22:47,012 --> 00:22:51,562
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