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1
00:00:04,714 --> 00:00:06,132
-Uh-huh.
-Darn tootin'.
2
00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:08,926
-Well, I'll be.
-Done reckon.
3
00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:10,136
What are you fellas
talking about?
4
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,555
To be completely honest,
5
00:00:13,139 --> 00:00:14,932
I forgot.
6
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:16,892
Oh, good.
I thought it was just me.
7
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,395
I was one "yippee-ki-yay" from
running out of cowboy jargon.
8
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,232
-It's Lou, right?
-Yeah.
9
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,984
I own Kikiwaka Ranch.
10
00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,485
I'm also
a bit of a cowgirl myself.
11
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:28,946
You don't say?
12
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,448
So, are you an expert
in the three Rs,
13
00:00:30,573 --> 00:00:31,991
ropin', ridin' in wranglin'?
14
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,451
I know the last one
starts with W,
15
00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:35,453
but we're phonetic folk.
16
00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:37,955
No, I just like cows
since I grew up with them. [chuckles]
17
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,248
On a dairy farm,
18
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:41,167
not like a "baby raised
by cattle" situation.
19
00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:48,007
Sarsaparilla, on the house.
20
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,884
Ah, ha.
Would you look at that?
21
00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:51,552
A free treat
I didn't have to scoop up
22
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:54,013
off the highway first.
[nervous laugh]
23
00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:55,306
Please change the subject.
24
00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:58,768
Well, now that
the Brobbler business is boomin',
25
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:01,812
me and my investors
have even more plans for Dusty Tush.
26
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,355
I just bought the land
next to your ranch.
27
00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:05,816
Possum Parts Plains?
Good time to buy.
28
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:09,195
Vultures finally
picked it clean of all the... parts.
29
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,072
Well, now that
we're neighbors,
30
00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:13,532
looks like we'll be seeing
a lot more of each other.
31
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:14,867
I'll be looking forward to it
32
00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:16,869
more than a gap-toothed hog
in velvet overalls.
33
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:18,662
A gap-toothed hog reference?
34
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:20,289
Have you spent time
in southern Montana?
35
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,501
-Uh-huh.
-Darn tootin'.
36
00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:24,585
Well, I'll be.
37
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:25,753
Done reckon.
38
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,047
Ah, we're in the well again.
39
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:32,760
[all] ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪
40
00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:35,095
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪
41
00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:38,015
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪
42
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:48,067
-Hey, Destiny.
-I didn't do it!
43
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:50,903
Wow, Winnie is really
rubbing off on me.
44
00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:52,404
No. I was gonna ask
if you would come
45
00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:53,906
check out Ski-kiwaka with me.
46
00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:55,908
I set up a doorbell cam
to keep an eye on things
47
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,076
before I open
the camp this winter.
48
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,118
Check this out.
49
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,746
[Destiny]
What am I looking at?
50
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,331
They're trespassers,
51
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,166
which I prefer
to the notifications I get
52
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:07,169
of wolves peeing
on my porch, but still!
53
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,505
It's so blurry I can't
even tell what they're doing.
54
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,549
Yeah, I could only afford
the cheapest camera.
55
00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:14,134
My other option was to hire
the local caricature artist,
56
00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:15,636
but he refuses to work in
57
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:16,929
below freezing temperatures.
58
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,014
It's like, "Where's
your work ethic, Dennis?"
59
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,769
So why do you need me to go up
to Ski-kiwaka with you?
60
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,437
Because you're a dear friend
61
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,189
and a fantastic
problem solver.
62
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,941
[sighs]
63
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,442
You want me to walk
ten feet in front of you
64
00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:31,986
-with a baseball bat,
don't you? -Yes. Please.
65
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,658
C'mon, Tina,
we've got work to do.
66
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,664
What is he doing?
67
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:45,958
I think he's using that wall
68
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,002
to figure out how long
the measuring tape is.
69
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:49,753
Even for you, buddy...
70
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,214
Hey, Ryder,
what are you up to?
71
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,675
Oh, hey. Me?
72
00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:56,468
Well, I'm, uh...
73
00:02:57,595 --> 00:02:58,637
using the wall to figure out
74
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,014
how long my measuring tape is.
75
00:03:01,724 --> 00:03:03,142
In your face.
76
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,562
As convincing as that was,
77
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,688
what are you
really doing here?
78
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:10,983
Ding! Oh,
79
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,318
that's my oven timer.
80
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:13,485
I'm coming, oven!
81
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:16,655
That's so weird.
82
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:17,865
You know earlier he told me
83
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,158
he bought up
the land next door
84
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,618
and has big plans
for the area.
85
00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,579
Maybe he's after
my ranch, too.
86
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,415
So last week we thought
this guy was up to no good,
87
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,376
then we learned he was good,
and now he's up to no good?
88
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:30,878
I'm so confused
I've almost come full circle
89
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:31,921
to understanding it.
90
00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:34,632
He's just like everyone else
91
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,050
who's buttered me up
only to con me.
92
00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:37,676
Pa Gordon Clementine,
93
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:38,844
that reality show producer,
94
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,471
Oliver the super fan,
Boomer Gower,
95
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,555
my coven of witches,
96
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,765
now that I'm saying
this out loud,
97
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:44,183
I am really starting
to take it personally.
98
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:48,646
Wow, this camp's a real
revolving door of weirdos.
99
00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:50,356
[chuckles] Good thing
we're team normal.
100
00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:55,527
Time to teach Ryder a lesson.
101
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:56,987
That mealy-mouthed
wannabe cowboy
102
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,864
will be sorry he ever
stepped foot on my ranch.
103
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,576
-Winnie...
-[intense] Say it.
104
00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:04,328
Say the words.
105
00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:07,915
-You're unleashed.
Do your worst. -It will be done.
106
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,920
Lou, I don't think that was
really his oven timer.
107
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,138
You're welcome.
108
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,891
Did Lou assign you
cooking chores
109
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:28,394
or is this just
how you crazy kids are dressin' these days?
110
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:31,855
I can't keep track
of your baggy pants and your weird hats.
111
00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:33,899
No, I'm just trying
to distract myself.
112
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,234
The letter from
Juilliard comes today
113
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,568
that says
if I got in or not.
114
00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:39,154
Wow, that's huge.
Are you excited?
115
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,489
Mostly I'm just nervous.
116
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,533
Being a part of their
prestigious acting school
117
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,119
means I get
to hone my skills, master my craft
118
00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,787
and tell people
I went to the same school
119
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,914
as Steve the Gute, Guttenberg.
120
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:52,543
This looks pretty good.
121
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:58,173
Nope, my eyes lied.
What is in my mouth?
122
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,594
I call it
S'muna-fish casserole.
123
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,347
It's a mashup
of tuna and s'mores.
124
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,433
Is this white stuff
marshmallow or mayo?
125
00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:08,726
[chuckles] Yes.
126
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,813
Maybe try
distracting yourself with something else.
127
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,898
-Like what?
-Let's think.
128
00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:17,943
What could a full-time
camp counselor have to do all day?
129
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,361
I don't know,
that's why I'm asking.
130
00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,577
[shivering]
This is way too cold.
131
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:27,703
I'm from Tallahassee.
132
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,246
The one time
it got below 70 degrees,
133
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,415
the weatherman quit.
134
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,376
Remember, the trespassers
could be dangerous,
135
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,586
so we need to prepare
for the worst.
136
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,298
Wait. Are are these deaf?
137
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,719
Oh, no, happy children
playing ice hockey.
138
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,137
I'm terrified.
139
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,348
Check it out.
We have fans.
140
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,185
Hey, guys, I'm Destiny,
141
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,770
and this is Parker.
142
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,229
Well, I didn't know
you could sign.
143
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,314
Yeah, I'm learning.
144
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:56,815
I also know
a little French, German
145
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,567
and the entire NATO alphabet.
146
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:00,736
There's a lot
you don't know about me.
147
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:01,820
And a lot you can't.
148
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,200
[interpreting]
He's Miles and I'm Lucy.
149
00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:08,285
You guys are welcome
to stay and watch,
150
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,704
but we're not
signing autographs until the game is over.
151
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,665
I'm sorry, kids,
but it's not safe
152
00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,542
for you to play
up here unsupervised.
153
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,465
[interpreting] We've lived
in Dusty Tush our whole lives,
154
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,717
and we come up here
all the time to play.
155
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:25,886
He's right.
156
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:30,057
Now, where were we
before these old geezers interrupted us?
157
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:33,769
Excuse me?
I am a regular-aged geezer,
158
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,062
thank you very much.
159
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:40,317
C'mon, Parker,
you need to go over there and demand that they leave.
160
00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,362
I don't know.
When I open Ski-kiwaka,
161
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,280
I don't wanna be
super strict all the time.
162
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,865
I mean, look at these
baby-soft hands.
163
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,535
They're too delicate
to rule with an iron fist.
164
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,912
Okay. Well, how are you going
to get them to leave?
165
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,206
I have an idea.
166
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,291
But first I must moisturize...
167
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,335
for battle.
168
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,592
See? What'd I tell ya?
169
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,302
If it's yellow, let it mellow?
170
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,223
No! That I knew
Ryder would come back.
171
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,725
Ready to do this?
172
00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:15,561
I can't make
yellow on command, Winnie.
173
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,064
Now's the time,
she'll never see it coming.
174
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,107
The plan's a go.
175
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:24,736
What in tarnation?
176
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,947
Ha! Gotcha!
177
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,616
Tell your oven timer
you're not gonna be home tonight.
178
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,370
Hey, guys, I know we don't
know each other that well,
179
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,664
but I'm not a big fan
of tiny jails.
180
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,918
We're foiling your evil plot
to steal Kikiwaka,
181
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,503
and learning to flush
when appropriate.
182
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,631
You think I wanna
steal your camp?
183
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,550
Come on, we know
what you're up to.
184
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:49,178
Measuring the mess hall?
Buying up nearby land?
185
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,180
Deviously skulking
around the lawn?
186
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,974
Yeah, for a gift
I'm giving Lou!
187
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,767
And for the record,
it wasn't a skulk.
188
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,145
It was a delicate saunter.
189
00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:01,023
Likely story.
190
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,482
Where is this gift?
191
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:04,651
You mean that cow topiary
rolling in right behind you?
192
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:12,951
"To Lou, seeing you
puts me in a great moo-d."
193
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:15,829
Delightful pun.
194
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,583
-See?
-Why are you giving Lou a gift?
195
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,251
I like her.
196
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,128
I was trying
to ask her on a date.
197
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:26,840
Wow. A quick conversation
really could have cleared all this up.
198
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:28,342
So us.
199
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,386
Well, Lou doesn't like you.
200
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,847
She called you
a "mealy-mouthed wannabe cowboy."
201
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,351
-She actually said that?
-Yeah.
202
00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:40,020
She also said,
"Jake, quit putting your underwear
203
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,730
"in the microwave."
Which is irrelevant
204
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,106
but I'm bummed,
and I need to vent.
205
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,617
Bill, check it out.
206
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,786
I've got a new plan
to take my mind off the Juilliard letter
207
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,955
that still hasn't shown up.
208
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,749
Oh, is this one
a project for camp?
209
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,543
Better, it's paleontology.
210
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,879
Y'know, maybe I was
too hard on S'muna-fish.
211
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,381
Are you sure
you wanna spend the day
212
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,216
randomly digging holes
for fossils?
213
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,760
It's better than worrying
about the infinite black hole
214
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:12,803
that is my future.
215
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:15,597
Oh, look!
I found something!
216
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:16,848
Life has meaning again!
217
00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,021
It's just a bag.
218
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,565
Or is it a bag
full of dinosaur bones?
219
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:29,361
It is not a ba--
220
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,280
Oh, man, now
you have me curious.
221
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,198
[squirts]
222
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,785
This has been
a fun day so far.
223
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:39,997
Look, there's a note.
224
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,959
"Congrats.
You have found my contraband.
225
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,545
"When I see you covered
in blue paint, I will end you.
226
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,089
"Yours in revenge, Winnie."
227
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:52,509
Aw, that adorable
little scamp.
228
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,137
Adorable? Noah,
I have been marked for death!
229
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:57,889
Yeah. You should run.
230
00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:06,857
Okay, guys,
time to settle this.
231
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:09,026
Winner stays.
232
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:11,278
Loser leaves,
233
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,655
having discovered
a newfound respect for their elders.
234
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,908
[interpreting] You're on.
235
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:20,537
Since your weak
and brittle bones need some sustenance,
236
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,248
we're gonna
feed you this biscuit!
237
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,044
Ooh, they've got biscuits?
238
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:29,755
Biscuits are hockey pucks.
239
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,590
That was a sick burn.
Keep up.
240
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,134
Are you sure we can win?
241
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,635
I don't know
anything about hockey.
242
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:39,431
Don't worry, I'm Canadian.
Hockey's in my blood.
243
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,433
Never played a day in my life,
but I bet it'll be okay.
244
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,271
[kids laughing]
245
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,358
Can I switch teams?
246
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,527
Maybe that was a lucky shot.
247
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,155
[gasping] Okay,
248
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,698
maybe that was a whole lot
of lucky shots.
249
00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,493
Hey, great game.
250
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:03,580
I'm sure you dominate
the 65-and-over league.
251
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,000
Did you know hockey involved
this much skating?
252
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,336
Florida.
253
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:16,760
Good news.
We got rid of Ryder that good-for-nothing cowboy.
254
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,178
And I found
a four-leaf clover.
255
00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:21,598
Unrelated, but yay for me.
256
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:24,351
Did you also find out
why that guy was trying to steal my camp?
257
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,145
Actually, he wanted
to ask you out on a date.
258
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,481
Even brought a gift.
What a weirdo.
259
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,401
Oh, he did?
260
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,027
Really?
261
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,196
Why are you
saying it like that?
262
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,739
And why are you
twirling your hair
263
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,199
like you wanna
go on a date with him?
264
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,951
Oh, my gosh,
you wanna go on a date with him!
265
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,245
Well, we were
really hitting it off
266
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,413
before I thought
he was the enemy.
267
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,916
That guy really puts
the "ow" in cowboy.
268
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:52,087
I could've gone
my whole life without hearing that.
269
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,381
I only unleashed you on Ryder
270
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,383
because I thought
he was trying to steal my camp.
271
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:59,094
Now I feel really bad
that we trapped him in that cage.
272
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,555
You what?
273
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,682
It was only for like an hour.
274
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:08,145
Also be on the lookout
for a $2,000 charge from The Cage Store.
275
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:12,232
Oh, since you trapped him
in a $2,000 cage,
276
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,151
it's gonna take
a grand gesture to fix this.
277
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:17,487
You guys are gonna help me
apologize and ask Ryder out.
278
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:18,697
You don't need
a grand gesture.
279
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,950
You just need a little luck.
280
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:24,578
Jake...
281
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,873
It's a three-leaf clover.
282
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,332
Foiled by counting again!
283
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:38,675
Guys, guys. Everyone!
Run for your lives!
284
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,137
The legend
of Tush Mountain is true.
285
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,847
[interpreting]
Is that the legend about
286
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,683
how snow tastes
like cotton candy?
287
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,435
Because it was bogus.
288
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,937
It mostly tastes
like wolf pee.
289
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,565
[Parker roars]
290
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,650
No. It's the legend about
291
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,195
how all who loiter
on this mountain
292
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:01,490
will be devoured
by a snow beast!
293
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,450
Who is currently
missing his cue!
294
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,452
I can't see anything
out of this mask.
295
00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,120
Why are the eye holes
so small? I mean...
296
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,788
[roars]
297
00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:10,790
Victims are
this way, snow beast!
298
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,375
[roars, gasps]
299
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,630
Nice fall, old man.
300
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,048
How's that hip?
301
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,090
[kids laughing]
302
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,552
Great. Now,
how are we going
303
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,012
to tactfully
get the kids to leave?
304
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,972
Oh, we're done with tact.
305
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,807
I'm gonna lay down the law!
306
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,392
But first,
I'm gonna lay down here
307
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:31,186
[groaning] because
my sciatica is acting up.
308
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,485
So, what's the next
terrible activity?
309
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,737
Barbecuing,
except I'm on the rotisserie?
310
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,906
Embroidery, and my hand
gets sewn to my face?
311
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,158
And why am I
giving you more ideas?
312
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,577
I'm done distracting myself.
313
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,037
An acceptance letter
from Juilliard
314
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,331
wouldn't be delivered
this late. I didn't get in.
315
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,708
It would have taken my career
to the next level.
316
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,628
But now the only thing
left for me to do is sigh dramatically.
317
00:13:58,588 --> 00:13:59,881
[sighs dramatically]
318
00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:03,260
Seriously,
you're a camp counselor!
319
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:06,346
There's
a beginner's swim class that has no lifeguard!
320
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:09,516
Please don't mention class
to someone who just lost out on his dream school.
321
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:11,977
Juilliard!
322
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,690
I'm sorry,
but there's other acting schools.
323
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:20,068
I hear
the University of Twin Cheeks has a great drama program.
324
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,445
Bill.
325
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:24,364
Their fall play
was Mary Poopins.
326
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,075
Yeah, that's pretty bad.
327
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,206
Lou, I can't believe
you're doing this.
328
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,374
Just let me know
when Ryder's here
329
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,042
so I can jump out
and surprise him.
330
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,962
This is gonna be so romantic.
331
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,756
Okay, we're ready
for Lou's message to Ryder.
332
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,176
[reading]
333
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:47,429
Is it just me,
or is this way too thirsty?
334
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,433
Ryder's coming.
335
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,352
Winnie, Jake,
y'all wanted to see me?
336
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:57,606
He said, now wondering
why he returned to the scene of his abduction.
337
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,650
You bet.
We have a message for you straight from Lou.
338
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,777
Guys, get back in line!
339
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,363
I love that
you're a disrupter, Caleb, but not right now!
340
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:09,743
[reading]
"Oh, get lost you?"
341
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,078
No! Caleb, you're killing me!
342
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:16,374
[Lou] Hey, I'm stuck.
343
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:17,792
-Lou, is that you in there?
-[gasps]
344
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,210
[coyly] Why, yes.
345
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,087
I just wanted
to deliver a message.
346
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:22,130
Did you get it?
347
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,132
Oh, I got it.
348
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,676
[Lou] Well, I don't like
how you said that.
349
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:29,346
Okay, Caleb and I
are officially on the outs,
350
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:30,472
but I fixed the sign.
351
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,599
[Winnie reading]
352
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:33,808
Jake, that's not better!
353
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,976
I don't know what we're doing.
354
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,480
Somebody help me
get out of here!
355
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,148
-[Lou yells]
-[groans]
356
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,819
Okay, Lou,
message received.
357
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,780
I'm going.
358
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,948
You'll never have to hear
from this cowboy again.
359
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,450
No! Come back!
360
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:51,576
Is he leaving in a huff?
361
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,078
I feel like
he's leaving in a huff.
362
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:55,955
Jake.
363
00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,624
What the heck are "gluetoots"?
364
00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:59,793
If you had 'em,
ooh, you'd know.
365
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:09,010
"Meet Jake and Winnie
on the Great Lawn for a surprise.
366
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,053
"Bring jellybeans."
367
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,682
Well, well, well,
368
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,558
if it isn't
liver-bruisin' Lou.
369
00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:17,686
She gives you butterflies
in your stomach,
370
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,396
then smashes 'em to bits
with a mean uppercut.
371
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,273
Technically,
it was a right cross.
372
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,693
No one walks away
from my uppercut.
373
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,111
So I'm guessing
you got a note, too.
374
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:28,947
Yeah. It said come to camp
and meet Steve Guttenberg.
375
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,115
He better be here.
376
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:31,491
I shaved my left arm
so he could sign it.
377
00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:35,078
Okay. I think I know
what's going on here.
378
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:38,915
Nope, I was wrong.
379
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,377
What are you two doing?
Let us out of here.
380
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,628
Sorry, but this
was the only way
381
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:44,963
to give you
one more shot at your date.
382
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,716
We would have accepted
cash for a movie.
383
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:51,761
Why go to the movies
when the romance's right here?
384
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,388
[switch beeps]
385
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,556
[♪ slow jazz music playing]
386
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:02,480
As much as I love this vibe,
I'd rather not have
387
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,816
my second abduction ruin
smooth jazz for me.
388
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:06,943
Guys, cut the music!
389
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,403
[music stops]
390
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,946
Give us the lawn, please.
391
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,240
[Lou sighs]
392
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,951
I'm really sorry, Ryder.
393
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,078
They're only doing this
because they support me.
394
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,038
In their own weird,
potentially criminal way.
395
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:23,084
And they know that
I really like you.
396
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,670
I can't promise
something like this won't happen again.
397
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:28,131
I wouldn't blame you
if that's a deal-breaker.
398
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,924
Well, there's a reason
I keep coming back here,
399
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,885
even though I'm not
entirely sure I'll survive.
400
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,763
It's because I like you, too.
401
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,890
-You do?
-Yeah.
402
00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,185
You're definitely worth it.
403
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,688
-Hey, how's the date going?
-Jake, get out of here!
404
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,940
Third wheel. Message received.
405
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,988
Okay. New tactic.
406
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:55,450
You guys
have given me no choice
407
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,327
but to call Lou.
408
00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:01,706
My phone!
409
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:03,666
I just figured out how to make
the font bigger on my texts!
410
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:05,752
Okay, I am old.
411
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:10,465
Oh! Oh, my gosh,
why is it so cold?
412
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,508
It's snow.
413
00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:13,968
I'm from Florida!
414
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:19,307
[interpreting] There's more
where that came from if you don't get outta here!
415
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,433
That's it!
416
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,101
You're about
to feel the wrath
417
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,646
of Little Miss
Get-Off-My-Lawn.
418
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,317
I can't believe
that that old fogey thinks
419
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,568
she can throw snow--
420
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:35,865
Whoa! Granny's got a cannon.
421
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:37,992
Snowball fight!
422
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,122
I did it! I hit a child!
423
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:44,707
It was a mean ageist one!
424
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:46,793
I'm numb form neck down
425
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,546
but the fire of vengeance
is thawing me out!
426
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,216
We've got 'em on the ropes!
Let's end this!
427
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,262
Never mind.
We're surrounded.
428
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:58,638
Maybe if we surrender,
429
00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:00,390
they'll let us keep
our tastefully chic outerwear?
430
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:04,352
[speaking] Aw, don't quit.
431
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,020
This is so much fun.
432
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,772
It is, isn't it?
433
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,024
You know, I'm turning
this place into a camp.
434
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:14,529
We'll be skating and sledding
and snowball fighting all winter here at Ski-kiwaka.
435
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,738
You guys should sign up.
436
00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:20,618
[interpreting]
But we like to come up here in the summer
437
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,579
and play in the snow
all day long.
438
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,206
During the winter,
439
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,166
we have a whole hour of school
that gets in the way.
440
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,420
Only an hour?
441
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:34,757
The Dusty Tush
public school system leaves a lot to be desired.
442
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:38,428
Our math teacher
is a scarecrow with the calculator.
443
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,348
Well, what if I open
the camp year-round?
444
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,559
Then you and your friends
could attend during the summer.
445
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:48,563
[interpreting] Really?
That would be awesome.
446
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,817
I knew there was a reason
I liked old people.
447
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,777
While forgetful
and weak in the bones,
448
00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:56,779
they always end up doing
the right thing.
449
00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,408
See you next summer.
450
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,911
See you next summer.
451
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,997
Looks like someone's
got a year-round job at Camp Ski-kiwaka!
452
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:08,041
There's just one problem.
453
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,668
Lou still thinks
you're working at the ranch next summer.
454
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,503
Destiny, Lou and I are adults.
455
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:14,297
We'll just
have an honest, mature,
456
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,382
difficult conversation
about it.
457
00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:18,301
You want me to stand ten feet
in front of you, don't you?
458
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,385
Yeah and bring
those snowballs
459
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:20,637
and that granny cannon
of yours.
460
00:20:25,475 --> 00:20:29,312
Noah, I care too much
about you to let you keep wallowing in misery.
461
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:32,106
Which is why
I'm willing to do this.
462
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:34,359
[clears throat]
463
00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:37,028
-Hey, it's me. Sock bi--
-Stop!
464
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,614
Oh, thank goodness!
465
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,576
Your mouth movement
is all wrong and your glue work is sloppy.
466
00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:45,119
Plus, I've moved past sadness.
467
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,622
Wow. I'm proud
of you for being so emotionally mature.
468
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,333
And graduated to rage!
469
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:53,878
Juilliard didn't even
have the decency to send me a rejection letter.
470
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,505
It's like I don't even
exist to them.
471
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:57,215
Who do they think they are?
My agent?
472
00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:02,178
You're... you're calling them?
Maybe you should sleep on it.
473
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,346
Let's not burn any bridges.
474
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,181
Oh, I'm gonna burn
all the bridges
475
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:07,850
and set fire
to the rivers they span!
476
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:12,313
Hello, Tish?
477
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:16,067
I'm just calling
to tell you a little something about your precious Juilliard.
478
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:17,527
You think
your school is so great?
479
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:20,363
Well, let me tell you,
it's a sack of wet butts.
480
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,450
Hey, Noah, this letter
came for you from Juilliard.
481
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:26,577
Really?
482
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:27,662
Uh...
483
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:31,749
You probably
could've just hung up.
484
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:33,876
Winnie, when did this come in?
485
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,003
Oh, just now.
486
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:36,629
The mail is late
because I accidentally
487
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:38,423
trapped the mailman
in one of my cages.
488
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:40,383
It happens.
489
00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:44,095
You got this.
490
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:49,976
I don't believe it.
491
00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:53,354
I got in!
I got into Juilliard!
492
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:54,647
Yay!
493
00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,025
[clears throat]
494
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,901
I mean, good job.
495
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:01,863
My parents
are gonna be so proud.
496
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,239
I can't wait
to call them and--
497
00:22:08,411 --> 00:22:09,412
Oh.
498
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:12,248
Hey, it still works!
499
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:13,666
-[rings]
-Agh! It's Tish!
500
00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:17,295
Dude, just press ignore.
501
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:26,220
Yeah, so that's why I got
into small business investing.
502
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:29,182
I wanted
to give back to the town that gave so much to me.
503
00:22:29,307 --> 00:22:30,850
That's exactly what
I wanna do with my camp.
504
00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:33,019
Invest in Dusty Tush.
505
00:22:33,144 --> 00:22:34,562
Looks like
we have a lot in common.
506
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:37,565
Our philanthropy,
love of pirate fiction,
507
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:40,109
staging grand gestures in lieu
of communicating directly.
508
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:42,028
It's true.
509
00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:45,573
Lou, I've had
an amazing time with you.
510
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,366
The only thing that could have
made this night better
511
00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:48,993
is if this cage
had a bathroom.
512
00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:51,412
Or, you know, no cage at all.
513
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:53,623
Winnie, Jake.
514
00:22:54,624 --> 00:22:55,750
How'd it go?
515
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,543
Thank you guys
for doing this.
516
00:22:59,337 --> 00:22:59,837
This cage is the nicest place
I've ever been trapped at this camp,
517
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:01,714
and I've been
trapped everywhere.
518
00:23:02,924 --> 00:23:03,633
Seriously. One time
in my own sweatshirt.
519
00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:06,552
I'll let
you lovebirds out now.
520
00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:09,138
[clicks]
521
00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:10,765
[clicking]
522
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:12,558
Uh-oh, the remote
stopped working.
523
00:23:12,683 --> 00:23:14,352
Now I know
why this cage was on sale.
524
00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:18,022
$2,000 was the sale price?
525
00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:20,650
While you're already mad,
526
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:23,194
it might be a good time
to tell you I nuked my underwear again.
527
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,282
[♪ theme music playing]
528
00:23:28,332 --> 00:23:32,882
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