Original subtitles

[♪ upbeat instrumental music]

I still can't believe that Destiny and I were able to start

a vegetarian restaurant in Dusty Tush.

I know. Growing up here, even the cereal had meat in it.

You haven't lived until you've tried Frosted Steaks.

How's the tofu scramble?

Pretty good. It feels like it's missing something.

You know, I had a hunch you'd say that.

Aw, babe! I love when you bring me pocket bacon.

How's your omelet?

It's not bad. It's a bit bland, though.

Yay! Purse Turkey!

There's more where that came from.

Oh. Nope, that's a receipt.

I still can't believe we reached for the same pair of boots at the same time.

That was quite the feet-cute.

It's what spurred me to talk to you.

Never tell anyone about the cheesy wordplay.

Gouda thinking.

Wow, once you're on the wordplay train,

it's real hard to get off, huh?

Honestly, I don't mind.

So I'll see you at the dance tonight?

Not if I see you first.

Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

What up, Bill-iam?

Haven't seen you this excited since they announced that 11-gallon hat.

I am excited.

I met this girl, Luna, and she wants to go to the Hoedown Getdown with me.

The only thing is, she asked me to lead her in the Dusty Tush Shuffle

but I don't know the dance.

Well, we can teach you.

Yeah. I mean, in this town, you learn how to do the shuffle

before you're potty-trained.

The toddler recital is adorable, but the clean-up is...

less so.

Thank you, guys, so much for helping me.

But before we get started, I'm a little hungry.

Oh, well, could we interest you in some...

[both] Sleeve kebobs?

Can't you guys just eat somewhere that serves meat?

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

[♪ instrumental country music]

Hey, Jake, it's nice to see you painting again,

and not trying to swallow your own fist.

Thanks. Wanna buy it when I finish?

Nah. I'm not really an art-buying kind of gal.

What are you gonna call it?

Lou Declawing the Corn Dogs.

Name your price.

Hey, nice painting of Lou declawing the corn dogs.

Would people prefer if I left the claws in?

You know, Jake, I've been thinking of starting

these new camper-led workshops for the counselors.

You should teach one on art.

That sounds great.

I could show the counselors how to paint

Lou Searching For Earring in Jambalaya.

Or maybe, like, a rainbow or something.

Ooh, a painting workshop? Sounds like fun. Can I join?

I'd be honored. Can we hold the class in the mess hall?

There's already those little cheese boards set up for snacks.

Cheese boards?

Jake, those are mouse traps.

Mouse traps?

You know, that would explain some things.

[♪ upbeat instrumental music]

Thanks for letting me join you on your trip to the movies today, Noah.

And thank you for following me here on my day off.

If there's one thing I love to do when I'm not on the job, it's...

my job.

Cool, so what are we seeing?

Oh, fun. You didn't take the hint.

It's called Type T For Treachery.

That doesn't sound like a kids movie.

Jeez, Why did you even invite me?

Once again, I didn't.

Welcome to the Dusty Tush Motion Picture Palace,

where all your dreams come true.

Unless your dreams are about seeing a movie in a clean, safe location.

Iris? I didn't know you worked at the movie theater.

It was either this or marry a rich man and honeymoon on a boat

where he'll mysteriously disappear.

[laughs] I kid.

Unless you got a boat.

Respect the hustle, Iris.

You really shouldn't.

Two tickets for Type T for Treachery, please.

That'll be $18.

-Great. Do you take credit cards? -I do.

But the theater only accepts cash.

I love this lady.

Winnie, do you have any money?

You expect me to pay? [scoffs]

This is the last time I join you on your day off.

Yes, let's make this the last time.

[♪ upbeat instrumental music]

All right, let's do this.

I can't wait to learn the Dusty Tush Shuffle.

And you will.

But dancing is about more than just dancing.

It's about baring your soul through the power of movement.

And sometimes, breakaway pants.

She's right. And if all goes well,

one day you and Luna could be sharing boot beef like Victoria and me.

Here's hoping.

First rule of dancing with a partner,

you need to smell nice.

When I dance with Victoria, I always wear cologne, and she loves it.

Everyone knows the way to a woman's heart is through her nose holes.

[chuckles awkwardly] Actually, for Luna's sake, let's skip the cologne.

And go straight to the body spray? I don't understand.

Well, sweetie, I've never told you this before,

but I don't love when you wear cologne.

Wait, what? Since when?

No, not long. Just since the day we met.

Well, thanks for finally telling me.

I go through three, four bottles of this a week.

It's like half my paycheck.

And it smells like it.

And, Bill, another tip.

Okay, make sure you talk to your partner while you're dancing.

It's a great way to get to know them.

-That's why Parker and I are so in sync. -[clears throat]

Oh, gosh, what's wrong? Is it the purse turkey coming back up?

Actually, I don't love the whole talking-while-dancing thing.

-You don't? -Well, it just distracts me from being in the moment.

But, normally, I'm super-interested in discussing my star chart.

Wow.

Usually, Geminis are more communicative.

So... [chuckles nervously] How about this dance lesson?

[both] Let's take a break. [chuckling]

I haven't felt this uncomfortable since hearing the words...

"boot beef."

[♪ upbeat instrumental music]

Welcome, everyone, to our very first camper-led workshop.

You're all in great hands,

now that we've got the mousetraps off of him.

Take it away, Jake!

Today's class is called Jacob Jacobs Counsels Counselors.

First, we're gonna paint...

the humble banana

You may ask, "Jake, why are we painting a banana?"

To which I'll respond,

"Because I found it in my pocket when the class began."

You really thought this would be a good idea?

Not anymore, but we're in too deep. Bye.

Now, everyone, take your paintbrushes and...

create.

I see. I see.

Now, everyone, take your paintbrushes and throw them in the trash!

-Um what? -I'm so sorry. That's my bad.

I forgot to tell you all not to be talentless hacks!

Start over, plebeians!

Jake, I don't like to use these words, but you're being a bit of a...

meanie-baneanie!

Trust me, it's just a part of the training process.

In every great movie about teachers,

they're challenging their students and are always yelling!

Okay, but can you at least dial it back a little?

Oh, I see. No problem.

-Good looking painting, Steven. -That's better.

If we lived in a two-dimensional world!

Jake, I told you not to...

Actually, in his defense, Steven, it wouldn't kill you to shade.

[♪ upbeat instrumental music]

Iris, we asked all around camp, but no one carries cash.

Even the tooth fairy pays me in crypto.

Whatever she's giving you for molars, I'll double it.

I'm sorry, kids, but no money, no entry.

I can't give away any more free tickets.

I'm on thin ice with my manager because I'm blackmailing him.

This day off can't get any worse.

Uh, maybe it can.

I think I just saw a scorpion crawl up your pant leg!

[screams]

[exhales sharply] I think I got it out.

Is what I choose to believe.

Hey, someone gave us money.

Quick! Almost get stung by a scorpion again.

She must have thought I was a street performer and donated it to us.

This is how we can make enough money for the tickets.

You also don't need all your plasma.

Oh, good. You're back. I can't wait to get this--

Can you believe what Victoria said about my cologne?

Wait, are you still hung up on that?

Just don't use cologne.

When I'm on the range with the other cowboys,

everyone smells totally natural. No one minds.

And for the record, Funky Pete just got that name for his sweet dance moves.

That gives me an idea, Bill.

Is that idea you're finally ready to teach me...

And you're walking away.

Victoria, you've gotta--

Can you believe Parker said that he doesn't like that I talk when we dance?

Cool, back to your thing.

Look, there's nothing wrong with quiet moments.

Sometimes, you can say just as much without words as with them.

Hmm. Well put, Bill.

I don't like how you said that, but about that dance...

-Lou, can you teach me-- -Gotta run, deboning a lasagna.

Does no one wanna hear how my sentences end?

Where are my adoring students?

Ooh, I hope they're all getting me apples.

They all quit, and frankly, I don't blame them.

Jake, you're a great artist.

But by the end there, we were painting with our tears.

Well, you can't spell "paint" without "pain!"

I think. Spelling isn't my strong suit.

This just isn't fun. I quit, too.

I only showed up to bring you this apple.

It's a shame you're gonna quit.

You actually have a gift.

-I do? -Your banana looks so real, I took a bite,

breaking the first rule of art, which is...

never eat a painting.

Quit if you want, but you could have been great, Destiny.

Okay, you just said a lot of things.

But is the headline, "I'm great?"

Because I love being great.

Not just great, exceptional!

That's better than great.

Okay, I unquit. I'm ready to learn, whatever it takes.

Excellent. You have so much potential.

In many ways, you remind me of an older me.

As a painter, right? And literally nothing else?

Because you did try to eat a painting today.

[drumming rhythmically]

We have to have enough money by now.

I've been doing this for hours!

Um, it looks like we have $20.

-Really? -Yes!

And by 20, I mean six. And by dollars, I mean gum wrappers.

If it's any consolation,

I think you're the next Shakira.

It is.

Wait, I have an idea!

♪ Don't be stingy ♪

♪ Please be groovy ♪

♪ Give us money For this movie ♪

♪ All your cash You'll want to give ♪

♪ Or else I'll find out Where you live ♪

♪ Where you live ♪

Okay!

I think that song is finished!

It's so easy.

Show me the ball and win it all.

If you get it wrong, your money's gone.

Mmm, I'm so sorry, you lose.

That'll be 20 bucks each.

She's a witch!

Wow, Winnie, you really lucked out.

The secret is, you hold on to the ball.

Those chumps never see it coming.

Nope! Can't let this go on.

Keep your cash and please do not tell the cops.

-Noah! -Don't use our real names!

I don't want people knowing that I'm Lou Hockhauser!

That's "Hock" with an H.

[♪ instrumental country music]

Show me cross hatching!

You call that cross hatching?

-You disgust me. -I disgust myself, sir.

Quick, what's the perfect color complement of Prussian blue?

-Uh, chartreuse! -Lucky guess.

What about burnt umber?

-Cerulean! -Dang, you're good.

Which means, as your mentor, I'm good.

I'm so glad I invested in this beret.

You took it from my closet, but I agree, sir!

Destiny. I think it's finally time

to take your training to the next level.

Bring it on. I'm ready.

Then put on this raincoat and goggles.

It's about to get weird.

All right, Bill, let's put some dance in those pants!

[sniffs, grunts in disgust]

Why do you smell like you just rolled around in a pile of manure?

Because I did!

I should've just invited Luna to a movie.

See, you told me to smell more natural.

And what's more natural than manure?

Let's see if Victoria likes this better

than a than $100 bottle of Eau de Bro.

I take zero responsibility for this act of passive aggression!

Whatever. It's just a little dirt.

I don't think you know what manure is!

Come on, Parker. Victoria would never do something so immature.

Or she would.

Ow.

Since Parker hates when I talk during dances,

I've decided to give him all the quiet moments his heart desires.

And what in the diaper farts is that smell?

Let's just say dirt and move on.

All right, Bill, let me show you how to lead the shuffle.

It's under your fingernails. I can't do this!

[mumbling]

I don't know what you said, but I can't help being a Gemini!

[♪ upbeat instrumental music]

[leaf blower whirring]

Not to question your methods, sir,

but how will this make me a great artist?

Because you must be able to tune out any distraction,

whether in the studio or in the eye of a hurricane.

Isn't the eye the calmest part?

Are you a painter or a weather lady?

A painter, sir!

Then let's see some gradient blending!

Ow! What do dodgeballs have to do with gradient blending?

You think Picasso stopped to ask that?

No! He dodged balls and kept painting!

What is going on in here?

Art!

Hey, that almost...

hit me.

Guys, this is a bigger mess than Parker's Pop, Lock and Poutine workshop.

No one should dance after eating that much gravy!

The mess is worth it. I'm turning Destiny into a great painter.

But why?

This was just supposed to be a fun bonding experience for campers and counselors.

Where are the other counselors?

They left right after the yelling and right before he ate a paint banana.

And you didn't leave during all of that because?

That's for me and my two therapists to figure out.

It may be time to bring in a third.

Jake, why did you decide to teach the workshop like this? It's not like you.

Because this is how all the best teachers in movies run their classes.

Yeah, well, in real life, great teachers don't berate their students.

They inspire them to love what they're learning.

Like how I inspire you to love outhouse cleaning.

But we don't love that.

It'll come. Trust the process.

The point is, kindness is the best teacher, don't you think, Jake?

Jake do think.

And Jake love teach class again, Lou.

That's great to hear.

We're just gonna need some more raincoats.

[chuckling] So close to learning a lesson.

[♪ upbeat instrumental music]

There you are, Bill. I've been looking everywhere for you.

[scoffs] Which probably means you checked under one couch cushion

and called it a day.

Like he does with the remote.

Hey, at least I can find my car keys.

Spoiler alert, they're always in your purse.

Can I have them so I can escape this?

Where have you been? I tried calling you, like, 100 times, but you never picked up.

Since you two weren't teaching me anything,

I tried to learn how to do the dance online.

But then, I kept seeing ads for saddle polish,

so I freaked out about how well the internet knew me,

and I smashed my phone to bits.

As you do.

I'm only here now because I didn't wanna stand Luna up.

Okay, well, we have a few minutes before the Hoedown starts,

so as long as someone doesn't mind me talking while we dance,

I can teach you the moves.

[chuckles] Go ahead, Victoria. And when you're done,

maybe you can give yourself a congratulatory "Good job, Victoria!'

the way you always do.

-Guys, can we-- -Does that annoy you?

Because it can't be as bad as when you order a PB and jelly.

Either use the abbreviation or don't!

Good job, Victoria.

-Seriously-- -What if someone thinks

I want a peanut butter and jerky?

It's Dusty Tush, it's happened!

You know what? I'm just gonna tell Luna I can't do the dance.

And another thing, why do you always cheer when a bird flies by?

It's a flying dinosaur. How do you not cheer?

I guess I never thought of it that way.

You're always helping me to see things differently.

And by the way, I don't like talking when we dance

because I'm too busy getting lost in your beautiful eyes.

Well, I don't like when you wear cologne

because I enjoy your everyday musk.

It smells like syrup and privilege.

Why didn't you just say so?

Well, I'll make sure to do that in the future!

Good. Because I just wanna spend the rest of that future with you!

Great. Because I just wanna spend the rest of my future with you!

Hey, Parker, what are we saying?

Well, I think we're saying that...

Well, I think I'm saying

that I love the way you see the world.

I love your passion.

Heck, even when we argue, you're my best friend.

Because I love you, Victoria.

I always will.

-[chuckles] -Victoria Vance.

Will you take this calamari ring

and make me the happiest man in the world?

Shirt squid? Sweetie, it's perfect!

Yes! Yes, you musky man! [laughs]

When we talk about this later, we'll leave out that I said that.

We're getting married! Can you believe it? Bill!

Bill?

Oh, right. We made this story about us, didn't we?

I can't believe it! We only made enough for one ticket.

[sighs] You should go see the movie on your own.

It is your day off after all.

Aw, Winnie.

This feels like a trap.

Look, you worked just as hard as me for this.

I couldn't see it alone.

Plus, I always enjoy your company, even on my days off.

That is so sweet.

Friends like you are the reason we started

the Two-for-Tuesdays ticket special.

Too bad it isn't Tuesday.

Iris...

it is Tuesday!

Really?

Well, then I guess you guys had enough money hours ago.

[chuckles]

It's funny the way things work out sometimes, huh?

You totally ruined Noah's whole day off.

Ugh, some people are so un-self-aware!

Oh, it's the last showing.

I'm sorry you kids missed the film.

Why don't you let me make it up to you?

What did you have in mind?

How about a little mystery of our own?

We get a shovel and we find out if my first husband

was buried with anything in his pockets.

My treat!

You know what?

I think we're just gonna stream something.

Go! Go!

"Luna. I don't know how to do the dance."

No.

"Luna, I don't know how to do the dance."

Oh, that's terrible. Why'd I fall asleep in Noah's inflection workshop?

There you are, Bill.

We're so sorry for letting our bickering derail your dance lessons.

It wasn't fair to you.

But our fight did lead to one good thing.

You finally learned what manure is?

[both] We're getting married!

You're getting married? That's amazing! Guys, congratulations!

Even if you do both have major main character syndrome.

Thank you.

But right now, we promised we'd teach you this dance,

so that's exactly what we're gonna do.

I appreciate that, but it's too late.

People are already lining up to start.

There's no way I can memorize it that fast.

Then, we'll just have to buy you some more time.

Lucky you, Luna.

You get the traditional first dance with the mayor.

We have a mayor?

Let's dance.

[♪ country music playing]

Starting your left. Seven, eight.

One, two, three, a four.

Five, six, turn your partner.

That's it. Here we go.

Five, six, seven.

One, two, three, a four.

Five, six, you're ready!

[people cheering]

[whooping]

[people cheering]

-[music ends] -[people cheer]

Bill, you are such a good dancer.

So are you! You know, I'd love to call you sometime,

but unfortunately, I smashed my phone to bits this afternoon.

Targeted ads freak you out?

They know what I want before I even want it. It's unnatural!

Lou, guess what?

We're engaged!

You're engaged? Congratulations!

-Check it out! -Oh, wow.

It really catches the light. I... I think it's the grease.

It's just until I can buy her a real ring.

Which reminds me, can I have a raise?

[chuckling] Sorry, I can't hear you over the music.

Can someone please play the music?

-[♪ music starts] -There it is.

[whooping]

Yeah!

Oh!

The raincoat and goggles look is...

A reminder of pageant-based trauma

that made me subconsciously tie my self-worth

to unattainable metrics of success.

This third therapist is really working out.

You know, I'm starting to think Winnie is secretly the easy Mustang.

Now, I know our subject is a smidge more complicated than a banana,

but try to have fun with it.

I give you...

the Mona Lou-sa.

How long is this gonna take?

I gotta go declaw some corn dogs.

[♪ theme music playing]

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