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1
00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:05,048
Evenin', campers!
Good news and bad news.
2
00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:06,832
The good news is,
we did get mail.
3
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:09,922
The bad news is,
I think somethin' happened to the mailman.
4
00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:14,231
[DISTANT HOWL]
5
00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:15,537
Anyway, let's see
what we got!
6
00:00:18,409 --> 00:00:21,934
Water bill, gas bill,
eviction notice,
7
00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:24,067
subpoena,
Parker Preston,
8
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,808
an audit.Hey, that one was for me.
9
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:28,071
The audit?No, this letter.
10
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,420
And maybe the audit.
11
00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:30,856
I'm still fuzzy
on what taxes are.
12
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:33,816
Anything for me in there?
13
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:35,644
I ordered an
anniversary present for Megan.
14
00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:38,212
I still can't believe
she stayed with you for a whole year.
15
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:40,431
That's exactly
what my grandma said.
16
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:41,693
Whatever happened
to "congrats"?
17
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:45,175
Anyway, this gift
has to be perfect
18
00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:47,090
since Megan and I
don't see each other during the school year.
19
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,439
We can video-call,
20
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,746
but I only get
reception in my attic, and...
21
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,269
that's where
the broken mannequins live.
22
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,147
Expecting mail, Jake?
23
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,931
No, but I lost
my gum yesterday.
24
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,412
I'll put up flyers.
25
00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:07,806
Destiny,
this is a letter from investors
26
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,982
who wanna franchise
the Dusty Diner.
27
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,942
No way! They wanna
put our restaurant in every city in the country?
28
00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:14,944
Well, just every town
with a butt-themed name.
29
00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,119
It's a weird business model,
30
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:17,294
but check out
these sale projections
31
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:18,426
for the Backside Butte
location.
32
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,298
This is amazing!
33
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,213
Parker, you have to
call those investors.
34
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:25,433
[GASPS]
We're gonna have money coming out of our buttes!
35
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:27,609
[GASPS] We should
put that in the pitch.
36
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,395
Ooh, this one's for me.
37
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,702
It's from my friend back home
who just made a ton of money.
38
00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:36,792
She invented a way
to turn eye boogers into fuel.
39
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,707
Being gross
can make you rich?
40
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,317
Why am I even
going to school?
41
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,277
Aw, man,
found my gum.
42
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,713
It was in my mouth
the whole time.
43
00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:50,414
Ah, butt names,
eye boogers, and a clueless Jake.
44
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,155
Just another regular day
at Kikiwaka Ranch.
45
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,821
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
46
00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:08,171
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
47
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,869
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
48
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:20,183
All right, I spoke
with the investors
49
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,489
and they wanna
meet with you tonight
50
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:23,665
to make sure you
have the competence I don't.
51
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:26,015
It was a pre-condition
for letting me stay involved.
52
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:28,191
I can't believe
this is really happening.
53
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,627
"Destiny Baker,
54
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:32,978
"CEO of a giant-yet-cozy
restaurant conglomerate."
55
00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:36,330
Just like a tiny Destiny
put on her vision board.
56
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,027
[CHUCKLES]
I'm so proud of you.
57
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,203
You've come a long way
from bein' a circus clown.
58
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,901
Uh, maybe don't mention
that around the investors.
59
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:43,989
[CHUCKLING]
Oh, don't worry,
60
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,165
I'm not allowed
to talk with them.
61
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,775
It was another pre-condition.
62
00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,733
[CREEPY VOICE
LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
63
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,911
Did you hear
someone laughing?
64
00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:53,999
Yeah, all the time.
65
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:55,349
People seem
to enjoy this camp,
66
00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:56,959
despite my
continued involvement.
67
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:58,090
Take that, investors.
68
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,268
[CREEPY VOICE
LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
69
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:04,967
Okay. I'm not seeing this.
70
00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:06,621
I am not seeing this.
71
00:03:06,664 --> 00:03:08,449
But just in case...
72
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:11,103
[WHIMPERS AND SCREAMS]
73
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,151
I can't wait to give
Megan her gift.
74
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,892
It's a miniature replica
of her cat,
75
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,067
sitting next to my cat,
76
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,503
all made of
another cat's hair.
77
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,289
Maybe I'm better off single.
78
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,248
[PANTING] Noah!
79
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,468
Something terrible has
happened.
80
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,165
Aw, is that for me?
81
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,384
You shouldn't have.
82
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:31,515
I mean, you should've,
it's our anniversary.
83
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,604
But aw... [CHUCKLES]
84
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,911
Can we go back
to that terrible thing that happened for a second?
85
00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,782
Oh, yeah.
There was a break-in
86
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,567
at Videos, Videos, Videos.
87
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:42,657
When I got to work,
all the VHS tapes were gone!
88
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:45,486
Except for one, with a note.
89
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,185
"Noah, watch the tape."
90
00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:51,013
What do you think it means?
91
00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,319
I think it means
you should watch the tape.
92
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:55,496
Jakey's on it.
93
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,239
VHS. Play video.
94
00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:02,764
Video.
95
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,201
I think you
need to charge it.
96
00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,250
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
97
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:11,947
Jumpin' jackrabbits!
98
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,209
If I didn't know any better,
99
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,167
I'd say something bad
was about to happen.
100
00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:16,386
But, oh, well, gut feelings
are meant to be ignored.
101
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:19,607
Wait a minute.
102
00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:22,914
Is that a camera?
103
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:25,700
Huh. This isn't one of
the fake surveillance cameras I put up
104
00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:27,005
to give the camp
a false sense of security.
105
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,661
I know exactly what this is.
106
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:34,317
Code red! Code red!
107
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,450
Bill, Winnie, I just found
a hidden camera outside.
108
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,103
The health inspector
is spying on us.
109
00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,583
Hide the dishes
and wash the rats.
110
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,542
No, other way around.
111
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,241
Are you sure it's not just
one of the fake cameras
112
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,112
you put up to give us
a false sense of security?
113
00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:48,200
Yes, I'm sure.
114
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,856
I mean,
I don't do that.
115
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:53,858
Just come with me.
116
00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:58,515
Lou Hockhauser will not be
outsmarted by a civil servant.
117
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,127
Where'd the camera go?
118
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,521
Well, we could always check
the footage in that shoebox.
119
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,655
Okay, fine.
My cameras are fake.
120
00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,613
But the one
I found was real!
121
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:12,137
Is this like how
you say the camp green beans are real,
122
00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:13,965
but they're actually
just spray-painted pencils?
123
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,751
Oh, you don't even eat 'em!
124
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,927
BOTH: Because they're pencils.
125
00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:23,235
That sounds like
health-inspector talk to me!
126
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:28,806
You got this, Baker.
127
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,678
Let's put a Dusty Diner
in every butt-themed town
128
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,376
from here
to Badonkadonk, Kansas!
129
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,465
CREEPY VOICE:
You're not fooling anyone in that suit.
130
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:37,032
This outfit
makes me confident
131
00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:38,990
and that's all that matters,
creepy disembodied voice.
132
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,470
Wait, what?
133
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:42,994
[CREEPY VOICE
LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
134
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:45,345
Why does our well
keep laughing at me?
135
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:49,261
[GASPS] Who are you?
136
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:52,439
We both know
the real question on your mind is,
137
00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:55,267
"Will those investors
take you seriously?"
138
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:57,922
No, I'm pretty sure
"Who's the scary clown in the wishing well?"
139
00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,359
is still at the top
of my list.
140
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,839
Why don't you come down here,
141
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:04,276
where we can play
and laugh all day?
142
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,582
I even have ice cream.
143
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:08,977
It's plant-based,
but you can barely tell.
144
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:12,197
Tempting, but [CHUCKLES]
I should probably get going.
145
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,677
Wait![SCREAMS]
146
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,984
Don't leave.
We haven't had any fun yet.
147
00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:18,552
[SCREAMS]
148
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,990
Parker, run!
Someone's in the well.
149
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:23,078
Not again.
150
00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:24,427
Jake, buddy,
151
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:26,255
there aren't any
wishes down there.
152
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:27,996
I don't see anyone.
153
00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:35,438
Wait, I swear there was
a judgmental clown down there with a super-long arm,
154
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,526
and it tried
to pull me in
155
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:39,311
by appealing
to my vegan lifestyle.
156
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:42,706
Destiny, [CHUCKLES]
you haven't been eatin' the green beans, have you?
157
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,360
This is not
a pencil-induced fever dream.
158
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,666
I know what I saw.
159
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:48,016
Okay, well, maybe
keep that to yourself.
160
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,539
The investors
are only here for one night
161
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:50,888
and they need to think
that one of us
162
00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,977
is capable of running
this restaurant empire.
163
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,762
And unfortunately,
I blew my chance
164
00:06:54,805 --> 00:06:56,416
when I ended our call
by saying "totes mcgotes."
165
00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:11,692
It's lucky for us
that Lou still has a VCR.
166
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,911
You kiddin'?
That woman keeps everything.
167
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:16,174
She has a plastic baggie
of her baby teeth.
168
00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:17,437
And her adult teeth.
169
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,742
I don't know what
she's rockin' in there.
170
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,013
Noah, why are
you on this tape?
171
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:30,928
If you booked a gig,
you would've brought it up.
172
00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:31,929
Like, a lot.
173
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,715
I don't remember
recordin' it.
174
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,674
Noah, if you're
watchin' this, it means...
175
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:38,762
you're dead!
176
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:39,894
What?
177
00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:42,592
[LAUGHS]
I'm just kiddin', man.
178
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,638
[LAUGHING]
Tape Noah's really funny.
179
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:49,338
Now that
I have your attention, Megan is in danger.
180
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:52,123
Oh, that's
much less funny.
181
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:55,126
Protect Megan at all costs,
or you'll lose her forever.
182
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:56,476
And if you wanna
stand a chance,
183
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:57,955
heed this warning.
184
00:07:57,999 --> 00:07:59,696
Don't trust Jake.
185
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:07,095
No. No! No![SCREAMS]
186
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:11,447
[GASPS] Wait, what happened?
What's he talking about?
187
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,494
That is just like me,
always leaving my audience wanting more.
188
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:21,675
What happened
to Tape Noah? I hope he's okay.
189
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:25,243
Also, I would love to get
that footage for my reel.
190
00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:28,856
Right now,
all we know for certain is that we can't trust Jake.
191
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,466
Why wouldn't you
trust me?[SCREAMS]
192
00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:33,425
Uh, no reason.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
193
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:36,211
Phew! For a second there
I was afraid you found out
194
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,518
I use your toothbrush
to clean my toothbrush.
195
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:40,302
What?
196
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,347
It's okay, because
then I use my toothbrush
197
00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:44,698
to clean your toothbrush.
Science, brah.
198
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,224
So, uh, Jake,
out of curiosity,
199
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,400
how trustworthy
are you feelin' today?
200
00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,271
For instance,
if I turned my back towards you,
201
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:55,317
how would that end?
202
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,145
What do you mean?
203
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:58,712
Did I do something wrong?
204
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:02,411
Why are my
cherished friends treating me like this?
205
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:05,632
[SIGHS] Okay,
don't feel bad, but we watched that tape
206
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:09,853
and it was a recording
of Noah telling us not to trust you.
207
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,986
But I'm sure it was just
all a misunderstanding, right, buddy?
208
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:18,296
Actually, it makes
perfect sense. [BLOWS]
209
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,604
I knew giving you
tranquilizer darts for your birthday
210
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,564
would come back
to bite... me.
211
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,525
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
But... why?
212
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,484
Great question.
213
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:38,403
You see, my humble,
villainous origin story begins in the city of...
214
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:41,319
Aw, man, I've really
got to whittle down my evil elevator pitch.
215
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:46,107
I'm telling you,
I saw a camera earlier.
216
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,152
I think
the health inspector is spyin' on us.
217
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:50,372
I don't know
why he'd need to spy.
218
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:52,374
The menu board says
"roadkill ravioli."
219
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:02,514
Why are the pages
in this book blank?
220
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,996
Because, um...
221
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,042
Line!
222
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,393
Who are you talking to?
223
00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:12,350
[GRUNTS]
224
00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:14,309
Was that a microphone?
225
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:18,052
Starting to think
I've been eating too many green bean pencils.
226
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,011
[GRUNTS]
227
00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:22,796
Leave me alone!
228
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,235
Debbie, not now.
Here she comes.
229
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,325
Bill, who was that?
230
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,848
Uh, no one.
231
00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:33,415
I know something's
going on, Bill.
232
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,939
I found a camera,
a blank book, and...
233
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:37,680
Are you wearing
fake eyelashes?
234
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,726
These are my eyelashes.
Debbie just gives them volume!
235
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:40,770
[BOTH GASP]
236
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,035
You better tell me
what's going on, Bill Pickett,
237
00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,689
or so help me,
I will confiscate your chaps.
238
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,301
Lou, you have to
stop asking questions.
239
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,782
Let it all go.
240
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:55,437
Because if you don't,
you're not gonna like what you find.
241
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:59,963
What does that mean?
242
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:01,748
Yee-haw, would you
look at the time?
243
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,620
Gotta get back
to my cow-poking ranch chores. Ay-dios!
244
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,709
You get back here!
I need more info.
245
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,668
Like how does Debbie
give you that dewy glow?
246
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,980
All right, time for you
to blow the money-filled socks off these investors, Destiny.
247
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:19,591
I am powerful.
I am strong.
248
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:21,942
I will not have to
move back home after college.
249
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:23,639
Showtime.
250
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:28,035
Hello, I am
Destiny Baker,
251
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,124
and I have a recipe
for success
252
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:33,910
that will bring high-end
vegetarian cuisine to millions of Americans,
253
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:37,131
from Twin Cheeks, Michigan
to Snooty Patootie, Arkansas.
254
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,787
Now, I reviewed
your proposal, and...
255
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,223
[CLOWN LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
256
00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,704
Uh, I'm excited
to work with...
257
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,706
[CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYING]uh, with...
258
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,838
I'm sorry, could someone
please turn that music down?
259
00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:50,405
What music?
260
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,886
The circus music
with the unnecessary tuba.
261
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,018
You don't hear it?
262
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:57,847
Talk amongst yourselves,
but ideally not about this.
263
00:11:58,761 --> 00:11:59,762
What's going on with you?
264
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,285
What is going on
with you?
265
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:02,939
First, you don't see
the clown in the well.
266
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,462
Then, you don't
hear the music.
267
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:07,335
CLOWN: This is boring.
268
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:09,990
Anyone thirsty?
Maybe this guy.
269
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,513
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
270
00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:12,862
No!
271
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:15,212
[GRUNTS]
272
00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:17,432
Destiny! When I said
"be aggressive,"
273
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:18,607
I meant with your
business savvy.
274
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,610
There is a clown
in that briefcase.
275
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:23,220
It was about
to spray him with seltzer.
276
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,135
Get out here, clown.
Show yourself!
277
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,137
I will not be
made a fool of.
278
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:28,748
From now on.
279
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:32,099
CLOWN: Uh-oh, Destiny.
280
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:33,100
Looks like you blew it.
281
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,928
No. Leave me alone!
282
00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:39,193
So, do we
get the money now? [CHUCKLES]
283
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:40,411
Our preferred
method of payment
284
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,849
would be
a large novelty check.
285
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,379
"Happy birthday, Jake."
286
00:12:51,422 --> 00:12:52,772
I should've
just bought him a gift card.
287
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:56,950
Megan? Megan,
are you in here?
288
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,781
Well, well, well.
289
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,481
Look who's finally awake.
290
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,831
I've been sitting
on the toilet for hours.
291
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:11,007
My legs are as asleep
as you were.
292
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,054
What did you do, Jake?
293
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:15,925
Jake isn't here anymore.
294
00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,493
I'm Evil Jake.
295
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:22,323
Can't you tell from
my super-cool eyepatch?
296
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,499
I've been bumpin' into things,
but it brings the right vibe.
297
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:27,763
You're evil?
298
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:31,723
Oh, I'm bad, baby.
299
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:35,466
Which is why
I used your toilet without flushing.
300
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:38,426
The laws of polite society
mean nothing to me.
301
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,516
What did you do with Megan?
302
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,257
I'll never tell.
303
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,085
Let's just say,
wherever she is,
304
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,870
she has all the time
in the world.
305
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:50,742
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
306
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:51,961
The Dusty Tush Clock Tower?
307
00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:53,963
Aw, man.
I can't believe you guessed it.
308
00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:55,095
I hit "time"
too hard, didn't I?
309
00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,708
Just give me a head start
to set up my evil lair.
310
00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:00,752
It's not company-ready.
311
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:02,929
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
312
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:04,931
[SIGHS]
313
00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:08,238
Wait, uh, why am I
listenin' to him?
314
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,371
Megan, I'm comin'
to save you. Oh...
315
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,897
[TOILET FLUSHING]
316
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,464
Megan, I'm comin'
to save you!
317
00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:21,643
[SIGHS]
318
00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:23,906
Pull it together, Baker.
You're seeing things.
319
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,647
None of this is real.
320
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:28,911
[COUGHS AND GAGS]
321
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,482
I do not remember eating that.
322
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,051
CLOWN:
Finally, you're doing something you're good at.
323
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,704
What do you want from me?
324
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:42,098
I just want you
to stop pretending, Destiny.
325
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,926
Accept yourself for
the seltzer-spraying,
326
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:48,148
rainbow wig-wearing,
red-nosed joke you truly are.
327
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,541
Also, ever heard
of mildew remover?
328
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:54,241
[SCREAMS]
329
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:00,029
Megan!
330
00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:01,378
Megan, where are you?
331
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:03,946
Right here. Seriously?
It's a very small room.
332
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,602
Not so fast!
333
00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,386
Jake? Where'd
you come from?
334
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,214
The shadows.
335
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,087
That corner.
336
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,220
Why is this
necessary?
337
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,961
I'm helping you.
338
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:22,617
Deep down, you know
you'll eventually lose Megan.
339
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,533
This relationship
is a ticking clock.
340
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:28,014
It's about to strike midnight
on your happiness.
341
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,320
Time is not on your side.
342
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,105
I get the metaphor, man!
343
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,282
What's he talking about?
344
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:38,024
Tell her, Noah.
345
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,852
Tell Megan how
you're afraid of losing her.
346
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,118
But do it fast,
there's a tour coming up
347
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:46,510
from the gift shop downstairs
in three minutes.
348
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,296
Is that true?
349
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,037
Well, you know,
the tours probably do start every half hour...
350
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,168
You know what I mean.
351
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,650
Okay, uh,
352
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,565
maybe I'm just a tiny bit
afraid of losing you.
353
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,570
Fine, I wrote
a one-man show called Megan, Don't Go.
354
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,093
But you do go,
in the first act.
355
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:05,703
The other four acts,
I just cry.
356
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,360
It lacked a satisfying
emotional resolution.
357
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:14,451
But why are you
afraid of that?
358
00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:18,107
[SIGHS] It's just...
359
00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:21,023
It was really hard
being apart from you during the school year.
360
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,546
I'm afraid that
one of these summers
361
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:23,765
I'll find out
that you've moved on.
362
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,029
Noah, I had no idea.
363
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:30,032
Well, no need
to worry anymore.
364
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:32,295
We're gonna skip to the part
where Megan leaves you,
365
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,297
so you can get on
with your life.
366
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:35,559
What do you
mean by that?
367
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:38,780
I mean, she's on top
of a trap door,
368
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:41,391
and when
I pull this lever...
369
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:45,134
she'll drop ten stories
into the snow globe display in the gift shop.
370
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:47,223
Noah, don't let this
go down in a gift shop.
371
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:49,008
[SOBBING] You know
how I hate tchotchkes.
372
00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:51,184
Time's up.
373
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,883
[BOTH SCREAM]
374
00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:57,929
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
375
00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:00,932
Wait! Can I tell
Noah something?
376
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:03,848
Fine, but only because
I have to warm up my lever-pulling arm.
377
00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:05,894
Last time I did this,
I strained an evil bicep.
378
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:15,034
First, keep
that one-man show on the shelf.
379
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:17,471
I'm assuming
there's a puppet Megan, and I'm not down with that.
380
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:22,911
That's fair.
And there was.
381
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:26,958
And second, I just wish
you would've talked to me about your fears.
382
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:29,265
I could've told you
how happy you make me,
383
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:30,832
and that I'm not
going anywhere.
384
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:34,488
Aw, that's really sweet.
385
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:36,316
Time to eat tchotchkes.
386
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,666
Uh, stop. I have to
show you somethin'.
387
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,678
I feel like
I'm missing some context.
388
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,246
[PANTING] Nope,
I'm just stalling
389
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:54,769
till the clock
strikes the hour.
390
00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:55,813
[BELL TOLLS]
391
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:57,598
[SCREAMS]
392
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:58,947
[BELL CONTINUES TOLLING]
393
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:00,731
[JAKE SCREAMING]
394
00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:02,255
[GRUNTS]
Let's get outta here.
395
00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,085
You can't escape!
396
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,088
Aw, come on!
397
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:18,314
[GASPS] A-ha!
I found another...
398
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,274
Wi-Fi router?
399
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,927
Guess I'll have to take
"working Internet" off the camp website.
400
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:26,061
Once I can access
the camp website.
401
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,281
[LAUGHTER]
402
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,021
Where's that laughter
coming from?
403
00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:32,415
And why wasn't it here
during my stand-up set last Tuesday?
404
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,461
[LAUGHTER]
405
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:36,898
Lou, I warned you
to stop asking questions.
406
00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,987
No. I wanna know
what's going on and I want it to stop.
407
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:40,467
Fine.
408
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:43,774
The cameras,
the props, the laughter
409
00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:45,646
are all because
this is a TV show
410
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:48,170
about you running
a comedically dysfunctional summer camp.
411
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:51,652
I'm on a TV show?
412
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:54,959
You were on a TV show.
413
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:56,918
Now that you
know about it, it's been canceled.
414
00:18:56,961 --> 00:19:00,182
Well, good. I don't want
my life broadcast for the world to see anyway.
415
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:04,012
Wait, did they get me
spray-painting the green bean pencils?
416
00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:05,231
You saw nothing!
417
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:10,975
Whoa! Hands off the property,
people in hoodies. Just take the cameras.
418
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:12,455
You don't get it.
The show's over.
419
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:13,848
They're gonna
take the whole set.
420
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,632
This isn't a set,
this is a ranch.
421
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:21,290
[GASPS] The wishing well
wasn't real?
422
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,683
How did Jake keep
getting stuck in it?
423
00:19:23,814 --> 00:19:25,816
None of this was real.
424
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:27,209
You don't have a ranch.
425
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:29,211
You were never a camp owner.
426
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,691
But this place
means everything to me.
427
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,127
STUDIO AUDIENCE: Aw!
428
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,173
Okay, seriously,
who is that?
429
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,220
No! Bill, Winnie,
430
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:39,308
help me make it stop!
431
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:41,005
This can't be true!
432
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:43,443
My name's not Winnie.
It's Shiloh.
433
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,967
And I'm Alfred.
We're actors.
434
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:47,490
Make sure
to keep us in mind during award season.
435
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,540
Come on.
Let's go, Alfred. Bye, Miranda.
436
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:56,064
Who's Miranda?
437
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:59,415
Oh, come back.
I didn't want this. I love Kikiwaka.
438
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:01,069
[STUDIO AUDIENCE CLAPPING]
439
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:02,897
Oh, you stay out of it!
440
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:09,947
What do you want, clown?
Why are you following me?
441
00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:12,254
CLOWN: You really
wanna know who I am?
442
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:16,998
You know what? I'm good.
443
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:18,695
Does anyone
really know anyone?
444
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:21,959
Hi, friend.
445
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:27,269
It can't be. You're me.
You're clown me.
446
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:30,446
You can never escape
your past, Destiny.
447
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:34,189
No matter what you achieve,
you'll always be a clown.
448
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,931
You know it's the truth.
Just look at yourself.
449
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,194
[SCREAMS]
450
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,022
Parker, help!
451
00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:44,895
No need to yell.
Just turn around.
452
00:20:44,939 --> 00:20:46,593
Met your
clown friend. Not a fan.
453
00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:49,073
Also, you know,
like, at the beach,
454
00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:51,946
how sand gets everywhere?
Same for cotton candy.
455
00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:55,036
Come with me, Destiny.
456
00:20:55,079 --> 00:20:58,561
Let's ride off
into the sunset in a very small car.
457
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:00,824
Don't listen to her.
458
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:01,999
You may have been
a clown once,
459
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:03,436
but you've grown into someone
460
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,786
capable of juggling
so much more than just pies.
461
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:07,744
You're right.
462
00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:09,311
I conquered
the pageant world.
463
00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:11,052
I became
an amazing counselor.
464
00:21:11,095 --> 00:21:13,576
And I started
a thriving restaurant.
465
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:15,665
You're a clown
and you always will be!
466
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:16,971
I'm not a clown!
467
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:21,976
All right, sounds like
you're working through some personal issues.
468
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,285
And, hey, Parker.
That stuff gets everywhere, doesn't it?
469
00:21:28,156 --> 00:21:30,245
What happened
to Clown Destiny?
470
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:33,248
No clue.
But we're running from an evil Jake.
471
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,989
Noah, Megan,
Destiny, Parker,
472
00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:36,947
whatever your real names are,
please don't leave me.
473
00:21:36,991 --> 00:21:38,862
I'll do anything to keep
this camp show going.
474
00:21:38,906 --> 00:21:40,951
More stunt casting,
multiple episode arcs,
475
00:21:40,995 --> 00:21:42,779
we could even
do a season in Hawaii.
476
00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:53,094
Lou, why is
everything glitching?
477
00:21:53,137 --> 00:21:54,269
[CLANGING]
478
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,575
What was that?
479
00:21:55,618 --> 00:21:57,359
Guys, help!
480
00:21:57,403 --> 00:21:59,318
Don't trust him.
He sat on the toilet
481
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:00,884
for two hours
and didn't flush.
482
00:22:02,756 --> 00:22:05,672
I've been trapped
in the pantry this whole time.
483
00:22:05,715 --> 00:22:08,327
You were probably
dealing with an NPC that looked like me.
484
00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:11,895
Wait, "NPC" like
a non-player character in a video game?
485
00:22:11,939 --> 00:22:13,549
Not just a game.
486
00:22:13,593 --> 00:22:16,247
We're currently
in a cutting-edge VR simulation
487
00:22:16,291 --> 00:22:18,467
that forces people
to face their greatest fears.
488
00:22:18,511 --> 00:22:19,773
It is not popular.
489
00:22:21,731 --> 00:22:23,951
Wait, so when
Winnie and Bill told me
490
00:22:23,994 --> 00:22:25,474
that my life
as a camp owner
491
00:22:25,518 --> 00:22:28,825
wasn't real, that
wasn't really... real?
492
00:22:28,869 --> 00:22:31,524
I guess this explains
the other Noah on the tape.
493
00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:33,787
Right! In addition
to losing you,
494
00:22:33,830 --> 00:22:36,355
my greatest fear
is becoming a straight-to-video actor.
495
00:22:37,573 --> 00:22:39,836
And I'm afraid
of pantries.
496
00:22:41,272 --> 00:22:43,144
Jake, how do
we get out of the game?
497
00:22:43,187 --> 00:22:44,232
EVIL JAKE: You don't.
498
00:22:45,755 --> 00:22:48,410
[ALL SCREAM]
499
00:22:48,454 --> 00:22:52,327
You can't leave yet.
There's so much more to be afraid of.
500
00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:54,590
[ALL SCREAM]
501
00:22:54,634 --> 00:22:56,026
Everyone, power off!
502
00:22:57,985 --> 00:22:59,378
[ALL EXHALE]
503
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:02,685
What a horrible game.
504
00:23:02,729 --> 00:23:07,037
But you have to admit,
the real-time rendering was pretty smooth.
505
00:23:07,081 --> 00:23:10,476
Yeah, the evil you
that girlfriend-napped Megan was so life-like.
506
00:23:10,519 --> 00:23:13,870
Oh, and I will be
billing you for therapy related to this incident.
507
00:23:13,914 --> 00:23:16,046
Okay, was I dealing
with Winnie and Bill NPCs
508
00:23:16,090 --> 00:23:18,440
or were you two
messing with me by pretendin' to be actors?
509
00:23:18,484 --> 00:23:21,400
What are you talking about?
We were busy facing our own greatest fear.
510
00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:23,053
We had to watch Noah
do a one-man show
511
00:23:23,097 --> 00:23:25,055
about losing Megan
where he cried for most of it.
512
00:23:25,099 --> 00:23:27,449
It completely lacked
an emotional resolution.
513
00:23:31,192 --> 00:23:33,890
Oh, no! Parker
didn't come out of the simulation!
514
00:23:33,934 --> 00:23:35,631
Oh, no, it's cool. I'm fine.
I'm just eatin' my way
515
00:23:35,675 --> 00:23:37,285
out of this
cotton candy cocoon
516
00:23:37,328 --> 00:23:39,069
with Tape Noah
and the gang. [CHUCKLES]
517
00:23:39,113 --> 00:23:40,375
Hey, do any of you have a game
518
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:41,811
where I get trapped
inside a funnel cake?
519
00:23:44,771 --> 00:23:45,728
Guys?
520
00:23:49,210 --> 00:23:51,125
Man, it really does
disappear in your mouth.
521
00:23:53,649 --> 00:23:55,521
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
522
00:23:55,571 --> 00:24:00,121
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