Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:02,901
It was nice meeting you.
2
00:00:02,934 --> 00:00:05,300
Thanks for keeping me company
while I was waiting.
3
00:00:05,334 --> 00:00:07,901
Well, hey, I'm the deputy
mayor, you're a taxpayer.
4
00:00:07,934 --> 00:00:10,434
It's my job to make sure
you have everything you need.
5
00:00:10,467 --> 00:00:13,400
Actually, I don't pay taxes
here. I'm from Kansas.
6
00:00:13,434 --> 00:00:17,367
Even better...
a tourist.
7
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,300
It's also my job
to make sure our guests
8
00:00:19,334 --> 00:00:21,100
have a pleasurable stay
in the city.
9
00:00:21,133 --> 00:00:23,000
The revenue generated
by tourism is...
10
00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:24,367
do you want
my phone number?
11
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,200
That would be great.
12
00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:30,167
Look, it's your first time
in the city.
13
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,601
Maybe we could go to dinner
or see a play or...
14
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,367
We could do that.
15
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,267
I've got to go.
Call me.
16
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,901
I just met the coolest gal.
17
00:00:40,934 --> 00:00:43,834
We spent 20 minutes together.
She is so into me.
18
00:00:43,868 --> 00:00:45,400
You have such a big head.
19
00:00:45,434 --> 00:00:47,701
What makes you think
she likes you?
20
00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:49,834
Wow.
21
00:00:49,868 --> 00:00:52,701
I think she spelled
it wrong.
22
00:00:52,734 --> 00:00:54,534
I'm going to call her
now and ask her out.
23
00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:56,901
You were just with her.
Why didn't you do it then?
24
00:00:56,934 --> 00:00:59,100
Didn't want
to seem desperate.
25
00:00:59,133 --> 00:01:02,801
Charlie, Caitlin, I want you
to meet my niece Stephanie.
26
00:01:04,634 --> 00:01:06,100
You're the mayor's
niece?
27
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,100
Have you met?
28
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:08,234
[CELLULAR PHONE RINGS]
29
00:01:08,267 --> 00:01:09,767
No.
30
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:12,200
Hello?
31
00:01:12,234 --> 00:01:16,100
Who is this?
32
00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:23,667
[WHISPERS]
Wrong number.
33
00:01:51,033 --> 00:01:53,901
I can't believe she didn't tell
me she was the mayor's niece.
34
00:01:53,934 --> 00:01:56,000
Well, you better keep away
from her.
35
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,501
The mayor
is very protective.
36
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,367
Ladies and gentleman,
your attention.
37
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,167
After months of waiting,
my 3/4-length
38
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,234
leather designer coat
has finally arrived.
39
00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:14,234
Of course I'm going
to keep away from her.
40
00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:17,901
You think 'cause she's a young hot
attractive babe, I can't be trusted?
41
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:22,000
I-I'm sorry. Did you
expect an answer to that?
42
00:02:22,033 --> 00:02:25,467
Hey, hey,
this coat cost $1,200.
43
00:02:25,501 --> 00:02:27,200
I was on an 8-month
waiting list.
44
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,901
Seems like a waste of time and
money for a piece of clothing.
45
00:02:29,934 --> 00:02:33,434
That is a fabulous
jacket. I'm Eric.
46
00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:35,000
Oh. Carter.
47
00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:38,234
This is why you're stuck
sleeping with women.
48
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:41,934
Hey, guys, guess what.
49
00:02:41,968 --> 00:02:45,801
I'm going to be on that
TV show "blind date."
50
00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:47,334
Isn't "blind date"
that show
51
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,901
where they find a sexy girl
and film her on a date
52
00:02:49,934 --> 00:02:51,167
with some desperate guy
53
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,200
who makes a complete
fool of himself?
54
00:02:53,234 --> 00:02:55,167
Yes, it is.
55
00:02:56,234 --> 00:02:57,801
Why would
you do that, Paul?
56
00:02:57,834 --> 00:03:00,200
I might meet somebody special,
and even if I don't,
57
00:03:00,234 --> 00:03:04,167
going on television is a great way
to advertise the merchandise.
58
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,834
Oh, Charlie, Carter and I
are going to Philadelphia
59
00:03:08,868 --> 00:03:11,400
for tonight's
mayor's conference,
60
00:03:11,434 --> 00:03:15,067
and I'm not taking the limo.
I'm driving myself.
61
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:18,000
Great idea, sir. So you can
show those other pampered mayors
62
00:03:18,033 --> 00:03:20,834
that you're a no-frills
down-to-earth man of the people.
63
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:24,467
That, and I want to show off
my brand-new corvette.
64
00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:28,200
Look, I have a big favor
to ask of you.
65
00:03:28,234 --> 00:03:30,734
I need someone to stop by
the mansion tonight
66
00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:32,968
and check in
on my niece Stephanie.
67
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,501
It's her first night
in the city,
68
00:03:34,534 --> 00:03:36,334
and I guess I'm being
overprotective.
69
00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:38,667
I have no plans, sir.
I'm sorry to hear that.
70
00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:41,200
Caitlin, can you
do this for me?
71
00:03:41,234 --> 00:03:42,367
No problem.
72
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,367
No drinking,
73
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,601
no parties, no guys.
74
00:03:44,634 --> 00:03:46,734
I've got it
under control, sir.
75
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,834
Thank you.
76
00:03:48,868 --> 00:03:50,734
So, Charlie...
77
00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:52,400
what's that
on your hand?
78
00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:56,067
Uh, it's my lunch order.
79
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,734
Oh, sounds good.
I'll have that, too.
80
00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:07,000
Hey, Charlie. Come here.
Yeah, Paul, what's up?
81
00:04:07,033 --> 00:04:08,734
The crew
from "blind date" is here.
82
00:04:08,767 --> 00:04:12,000
We're about to film the part where I meet the girl.
I'm a little nervous.
83
00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:14,100
Shouldn't you be nervous
telling your boss
84
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:17,000
you're filming a TV show in
city hall during work hours?
85
00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:19,133
No, I'm fine with that.
I'm just...
86
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:22,334
I'm worried about the date.
Can you give me any advice?
87
00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:24,467
Keep your cards close
to the vest.
88
00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:25,868
Don't appear too eager.
89
00:04:25,901 --> 00:04:27,834
Don't appear too eager.
90
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,367
Okay, okay,
yeah, thanks, buddy.
91
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,267
MAN: Action.
92
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:35,634
Hi.
93
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:37,868
I'm Ashley.
94
00:04:37,901 --> 00:04:43,000
You're the most beautiful woman
I've ever seen in my entire life.
95
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,300
Brand-new corvette coupe.
96
00:04:47,334 --> 00:04:48,501
$46,000.
97
00:04:48,534 --> 00:04:50,534
It's a beautiful car,
sir.
98
00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:51,901
You should get one.
99
00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:53,801
Maybe I will... In nine years,
100
00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:56,467
after I finish
paying off this jacket.
101
00:04:56,501 --> 00:04:59,200
[STARTS ENGINE]
102
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,267
Uh, careful, sir,
103
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,400
there's some construction
ahead of us.
104
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,200
Oh, I gotcha.
I'll back up.
105
00:05:06,234 --> 00:05:07,234
Reverse is over...
106
00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:08,400
[GRINDING]
107
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:09,868
Down... And up.
108
00:05:09,901 --> 00:05:11,834
[GRINDING]
109
00:05:11,868 --> 00:05:13,801
There we go.
110
00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:29,200
Don't worry, Carol.
I'll still make the movie.
111
00:05:29,234 --> 00:05:32,601
It's just that I promised the
mayor I'd check up on his niece.
112
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:35,000
Yeah, she's this young girl
visiting from Kansas,
113
00:05:35,033 --> 00:05:36,834
and so we'll just eat
some ice cream,
114
00:05:36,868 --> 00:05:40,467
do a little girl talk, I'll be
out of there in 20 minutes.
115
00:05:40,501 --> 00:05:43,601
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
116
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,834
I'll call you back.
117
00:05:48,601 --> 00:05:51,300
Thanks for coming.
I really appreciate it.
118
00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:53,167
No problem.
119
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,968
All right, everyone,
listen up.
120
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,934
The party's over.
121
00:05:56,968 --> 00:05:59,200
You...
put down that drink.
122
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:02,601
You...
get off of that girl.
123
00:06:02,634 --> 00:06:04,534
You...
stop pumping that keg.
124
00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:06,934
You're getting
too much foam.
125
00:06:06,968 --> 00:06:08,934
What are you doing?
I just met these people
126
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,234
at a bar. I invited them
here to have a good time.
127
00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:14,267
Your Uncle would be disappointed
if he knew you're having a party.
128
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:17,200
You're right.
I've been a bad girl.
129
00:06:17,234 --> 00:06:18,901
Do you like bad girls?
130
00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:22,501
Your turn.
131
00:06:22,534 --> 00:06:25,067
Stephanie, this is the home
of the mayor of New York.
132
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,801
You can't bring people
over here just to impress them.
133
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:31,133
Anyway, it's not much...
134
00:06:31,167 --> 00:06:34,234
But I call it home.
135
00:06:39,801 --> 00:06:42,701
We've been trapped here
for nearly three hours.
136
00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:45,601
Good God, we're going
to suffocate down here!
137
00:06:45,634 --> 00:06:49,467
Carter, Carter, Carter,
we've got plenty of air.
138
00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:51,467
What we should worry
about is a gas leak.
139
00:06:51,501 --> 00:06:55,400
You know,
if we ruptured a pipe,
140
00:06:55,434 --> 00:07:00,434
the smallest spark could
trigger an enormous explosion.
141
00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:03,334
We're going to die.
142
00:07:03,367 --> 00:07:07,801
This morning, all I could
think about was this coat.
143
00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:10,834
Now it all seems
so meaningless.
144
00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:14,834
God, forgive me
for being so superficial.
145
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,234
If you get me out of here,
146
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:20,334
I promise to stop being
so materialistic...
147
00:07:20,367 --> 00:07:23,300
Carter! Are you making
a pact with God?
148
00:07:23,334 --> 00:07:25,033
Yes, I am.
149
00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:27,701
I want a piece of
that action. Dear God...
150
00:07:27,734 --> 00:07:31,834
hey, hey, I'm mid-pact here.
Let me finish.
151
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,000
And I promise
I'll give away
152
00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:36,434
all my top-name
designer clothes
153
00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:39,133
and live more humbly.
154
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,067
Amen.
155
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,167
God, if you get me
out of here alive,
156
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,534
I will make it my goal...
157
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:46,000
MAN: Hang tight, guys!
158
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,834
We'll have you
out of there in a minute.
159
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,234
Oh! Ha ha ha ha!
160
00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:52,234
Whew, that was a close one!
161
00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,734
Ha ha ha ha!
162
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:58,133
So, what is this jacket,
a 46-long?
163
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:02,634
These half-full beer cans
are making me sick.
164
00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:05,067
I know. What's wrong
with these kids?
165
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:07,834
In my day, you opened
a beer, you finished it.
166
00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:10,000
Where's Stephanie?
167
00:08:10,033 --> 00:08:12,834
She wasn't feeling well. She
went to the bedroom to lie down.
168
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,834
STEPHANIE: Charlie,
I don't feel good.
169
00:08:14,868 --> 00:08:16,501
Can you bring me
a glass of water?
170
00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:17,968
Yeah.
171
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,734
Stephanie?
172
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,267
[GIGGLES]
173
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,834
I knew
that would work.
174
00:08:24,868 --> 00:08:27,267
I can't believe
I fell for the old
175
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:30,067
"pretend to be sick,
put on a sexy robe,
176
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:32,868
and try to have sex
with Charlie" trick.
177
00:08:32,901 --> 00:08:35,133
Why have you been
avoiding me?
178
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:38,534
Among other things, your Uncle is my boss.
Why didn't you tell me?
179
00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:40,767
Because I knew
it would scare you off.
180
00:08:40,801 --> 00:08:43,100
I thought that enticing you
with my body
181
00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:45,367
was the best way
to get your attention.
182
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,434
Well, obviously,
you've done your homework.
183
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,868
Stephanie, I'm sorry.
184
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:57,000
But this is never
going to happen.
185
00:08:57,033 --> 00:08:59,734
I guess I did get
a little carried away.
186
00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:02,934
I've just never met
a guy like you.
187
00:09:02,968 --> 00:09:04,400
But if you feel
that strongly,
188
00:09:04,434 --> 00:09:06,534
I won't have sex
with you.
189
00:09:06,567 --> 00:09:10,601
I win, yet the victory
seems so hollow.
190
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:13,934
The mayor's home. I got
to get rid of these beer cans.
191
00:09:13,968 --> 00:09:16,968
What the hell is going on in here?
Nothing.
192
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,634
MAYOR:
Are you in the bedroom?
193
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:20,434
Oh, my God.
Hide in the bathroom.
194
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,300
Wait,
there's no reason to panic.
195
00:09:22,334 --> 00:09:24,667
When the mayor comes in,
all he'll see
196
00:09:24,701 --> 00:09:27,133
is candles, champagne,
his niece in a robe, me...
197
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,300
Hide!
198
00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:40,767
Stephanie?
199
00:09:40,801 --> 00:09:44,167
Charlie, what are you doing
in my bedroom?
200
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,968
You've been away
on a long business trip.
201
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,434
I thought I'd lay out
some candles...
202
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:53,133
And rose petals.
203
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:55,334
Where's Stephanie?
204
00:09:55,367 --> 00:09:57,334
[BEER CAN CLANKS]
205
00:09:57,367 --> 00:09:58,334
Who's in there?
206
00:09:58,367 --> 00:09:59,934
I can't believe this,
Charlie!
207
00:09:59,968 --> 00:10:01,501
You're in here
with my niece!
208
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,701
No, I can explain this.
209
00:10:05,968 --> 00:10:08,467
He's with me.
210
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,567
I can't believe I actually
lied to the mayor.
211
00:10:19,601 --> 00:10:22,634
This kind of thing never
happened to me before I met you.
212
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:25,100
Hey, I only went over there
to help you out,
213
00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:26,868
and I didn't
do anything wrong.
214
00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:29,033
You think because
I've screwed up in the past
215
00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:31,234
over and over and over
216
00:10:31,267 --> 00:10:34,300
that I'm just going to
automatically accept the blame?
217
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,267
I was hoping.
218
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:39,000
This is crazy. Maybe I should
tell the mayor the truth.
219
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:41,033
Why wouldn't
he believe it?
220
00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:43,901
Charlie, I was there. I saw you
not have sex with Stephanie,
221
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:47,033
andstill
have my doubts.
222
00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:48,801
Let's just stay
with the story.
223
00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:50,534
We're a couple,
lovey-dovey...
224
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:53,701
In a couple of weeks,
I'll break up with you.
225
00:10:53,734 --> 00:10:56,934
Fine, but I'm breaking up
with you.
226
00:10:56,968 --> 00:10:59,167
Except there's one thing.
I'm a terrible liar.
227
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,133
The mayor thinks that
we slept together.
228
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,133
How am I going
to make that believable?
229
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:05,567
Are you familiar
with method acting?
230
00:11:05,601 --> 00:11:07,634
[SIGHS]
231
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,567
I am serious.
I've never been able
232
00:11:09,601 --> 00:11:11,834
to be dishonest
to people I'm close with.
233
00:11:11,868 --> 00:11:13,601
I've been thinking
about last night,
234
00:11:13,634 --> 00:11:15,200
a few things
don't line up for me.
235
00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:17,300
I want you to come
to my office this afternoon.
236
00:11:17,334 --> 00:11:19,400
That... that will be
a little tough for me.
237
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:20,567
I'm booked solid.
238
00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:21,767
No, you're not.
239
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:24,400
You're right.
I'm completely free.
240
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:28,367
It's hard to see
how this could go well.
241
00:11:34,501 --> 00:11:37,000
Carter, what is
with that suit?
242
00:11:37,033 --> 00:11:39,667
What, it's not so bad.
243
00:11:39,701 --> 00:11:41,434
Charlie,
what do you think?
244
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,167
I think that somewhere
245
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,467
there's a guy teaching
driver's ed. Naked.
246
00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:51,567
The days of the self-indulgent,
style-obsessed Carter Heywood are over.
247
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:53,701
I have straightened out
my priorities.
248
00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:56,400
This entire outfit
cost a very reasonable
249
00:11:56,434 --> 00:11:57,968
$35.
250
00:11:58,033 --> 00:11:59,901
Carter, this isn't you.
251
00:11:59,934 --> 00:12:01,267
Oh, but you're wrong.
252
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,701
My new wardrobe makes
my life so much easier.
253
00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:06,801
This morning, there were
no seats on the subway.
254
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,734
I just sat on the floor.
255
00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:10,868
Carter,
this is ridiculous.
256
00:12:10,901 --> 00:12:13,334
Look, you have
a big stain here.
257
00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:14,868
This is not a stain.
258
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,234
I think your suit
is leaking.
259
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:20,200
How are you, Caitlin?
260
00:12:20,234 --> 00:12:22,701
My, aren't we looking
lovely this morning?
261
00:12:22,734 --> 00:12:24,701
I take it
the blind date went well.
262
00:12:24,734 --> 00:12:27,367
Yes, it did. All that's left
is the final interview,
263
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,767
where they ask me if I want
to take out Ashley again.
264
00:12:29,801 --> 00:12:33,267
What are you going to say?
I'm going to say yes.
265
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,567
The old Paul would have
overthought the thing.
266
00:12:35,601 --> 00:12:37,234
Now I'm just going
to go with it.
267
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:39,934
That's great. Hopefully,
she'll want to go out again.
268
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,934
What do you mean
"hopefully"?
269
00:12:43,968 --> 00:12:46,167
I mean, I hope she'll feel
the same way you do.
270
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,400
Oh, my God. What if
I said yes to a date,
271
00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:53,133
and she says no
just to make a fool out of me?
272
00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:55,834
What if Ashley was pretending
to have a good time
273
00:12:55,868 --> 00:12:59,133
when she was just setting me up
to humiliate me on television?
274
00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:00,601
I'm sure
she wouldn't do that.
275
00:13:00,634 --> 00:13:02,000
Don't you defend her.
276
00:13:02,033 --> 00:13:03,534
You women, you're all alike.
277
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:06,234
I'll bet... I'll bet you
and Ashley are in cahoots!
278
00:13:06,267 --> 00:13:07,601
We are not!
279
00:13:07,634 --> 00:13:10,300
Cahoots!
280
00:13:12,901 --> 00:13:14,801
All right,
let's cut to the chase.
281
00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:16,934
I find your story
from the other night
282
00:13:16,968 --> 00:13:19,634
to be a bit spurious.
283
00:13:24,901 --> 00:13:28,234
Yes. Spurious.
284
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:34,300
Now, you say you came to the
mansion to check up on Stephanie,
285
00:13:34,334 --> 00:13:35,767
and she was asleep
in her room.
286
00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:38,868
That's correct.
I say that.
287
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,601
But how did the two of you
end up in my bedroom?
288
00:13:43,634 --> 00:13:46,100
Well, I went there
to work on the fall budget,
289
00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:47,634
but it didn't take long
290
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:51,000
before Caitlin
got that look in her eye.
291
00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:55,534
I'm partly to blame, because I
was wearing a pair of levi's
292
00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:58,400
that were fresh
out of the dryer.
293
00:13:58,434 --> 00:14:01,534
I don't want to put words
in your mouth, but...
294
00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:06,033
Exactly how excited
were you by my jeans?
295
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:09,133
Unfortunately,
once we got past the jeans,
296
00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:12,567
excitement turned
to awkward disappointment.
297
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:15,801
But I don't want to put words
in your mouth.
298
00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:19,067
Exactly how
disappointing were you?
299
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,534
That... that's okay.
I'm satisfied.
300
00:14:23,567 --> 00:14:26,367
That makes one of us.
301
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,367
Uh, so the next question...
302
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,467
that's it. I can't
take this anymore.
303
00:14:31,501 --> 00:14:35,000
The truth is,
I came to the mansion,
304
00:14:35,033 --> 00:14:36,968
Stephanie was having
a party, and...
305
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000
wait. A party?
306
00:14:38,033 --> 00:14:40,334
That's it, a party?
307
00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:43,334
I thought you were covering
because Charlie and Stephanie
308
00:14:43,367 --> 00:14:45,334
were, you know,
mixed up together.
309
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:47,701
You thought that?
That is so funny!
310
00:14:47,734 --> 00:14:49,534
Ha ha ha ha!
311
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:52,133
[FAKE LAUGHING]
312
00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:53,501
Wrap it up.
313
00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:56,033
Okay.
314
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:58,334
So that's why you made up
this fekokteh story
315
00:14:58,367 --> 00:15:00,100
about you two
sleeping together,
316
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,100
so that you could
protect Stephanie.
317
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:05,234
So that's the truth...
318
00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:07,334
Caitlin.
319
00:15:07,367 --> 00:15:09,701
Yes.
320
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,767
That's the truth.
321
00:15:11,801 --> 00:15:13,767
I did it!
All these years, I couldn't
322
00:15:13,801 --> 00:15:16,400
lie to people I cared about.
Oh, it's so freeing!
323
00:15:16,434 --> 00:15:18,133
Oh, hey, Carter.
324
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,634
You know, that suit
is really growing on me.
325
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:22,100
Ha ha. Really?
Thanks.
326
00:15:22,133 --> 00:15:24,767
I'm lying. It's hideous.
327
00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:27,267
By the way,
I want to apologize
328
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,000
for slamming you before.
329
00:15:29,033 --> 00:15:32,934
The fact is, you really
do look great in those jeans.
330
00:15:32,968 --> 00:15:34,834
Well, thanks.
I am on fire!
331
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,767
Ha ha!
332
00:15:36,801 --> 00:15:39,667
Oh, I'm sorry. Come on, cheer up.
We got away with it.
333
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:43,133
I really appreciate
you helping me out,
334
00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:44,734
but I can't
leave it like this.
335
00:15:44,767 --> 00:15:47,033
I'm not the guy
he thinks I am,
336
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:51,834
and he needs to know that.
337
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,400
Paul, I caught
your press conference.
338
00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:56,000
It was riveting.
339
00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:57,667
Thanks, Caitlin.
340
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,901
[GROANS]
341
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,267
Hey, Eric.
342
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,200
Hey...
343
00:16:37,234 --> 00:16:39,300
hey.
344
00:16:39,334 --> 00:16:42,033
I hate this jacket.
345
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,634
This jacket... I hate it,
I hate it, I hate it!
346
00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,267
I hate it, I hate it,
I hate it.
347
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,501
Whoa, whoa, Carter.
I've been there.
348
00:16:48,534 --> 00:16:51,334
You might save a few bucks,
but in the long run,
349
00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:54,000
you're going to wish
you took it to a tailor.
350
00:16:54,033 --> 00:16:57,100
Paul, I can't live
like this.
351
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,067
I need to be well-dressed.
352
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,634
That's who I am.
353
00:17:00,667 --> 00:17:02,767
So get your clothes back.
354
00:17:02,801 --> 00:17:04,534
[SIGHS]
It's not that easy.
355
00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:06,367
I made a pact
with God.
356
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,901
If I renege on that, what kind
of person does that make me?
357
00:17:09,934 --> 00:17:11,968
You spend every waking hour
helping people.
358
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,934
Who was it who convinced
the mayor to give
359
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:15,901
the extra funds
to the children's center?
360
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,434
Who plays chess
every Saturday
361
00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:21,033
down at
the retirement home?
362
00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:24,567
Who painted my entire
apartment for free?
363
00:17:24,601 --> 00:17:27,901
Free? You told me you were going
to introduce me to Bette midler.
364
00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:29,100
Right.
365
00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:31,067
I know her.
366
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,934
Look, Carter, I may not know
a lot about religion,
367
00:17:33,968 --> 00:17:35,801
but I know the
kind of guy you are,
368
00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:38,167
and I don't think
God is going to mind
369
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,934
if you wear
some nice clothes.
370
00:17:39,968 --> 00:17:42,567
You know, thanks, Paul.
371
00:17:42,601 --> 00:17:45,834
Come on, Carter, let me buy you
a cup of hot chocolate, huh?
372
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,834
So you're telling me, you were
in my bedroom with my niece,
373
00:17:52,868 --> 00:17:54,634
and nothing happened.
374
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:57,801
Come on, Charlie. I know
when you're hiding something.
375
00:17:57,834 --> 00:18:01,801
It's like when you called in sick
that Monday after new year's Eve.
376
00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:04,968
I was here, sir.
You called in sick.
377
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:08,167
I was lying. I had
to get that off my chest.
378
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,067
If this were
about anything else,
379
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,033
I wouldn't doubt you
for a second,
380
00:18:12,067 --> 00:18:14,067
but given your past
with women...
381
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,934
I've been working here
for two years.
382
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:17,968
Have I given you
a reason to mistrust me?
383
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,400
No. But, come on,
are you telling me
384
00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:23,000
that you weren't attracted
to my niece?
385
00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:24,934
I was,
but I didn't act on it
386
00:18:24,968 --> 00:18:27,000
because I would
never betray you,
387
00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:29,300
not for a woman,
not for anything.
388
00:18:29,334 --> 00:18:33,334
So basically, I'm more
important to you than women?
389
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:39,901
I'd rather not think
of it that way, but...
390
00:18:39,934 --> 00:18:41,734
But, yes.
391
00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:43,801
Now, let me get this
straight...
392
00:18:43,834 --> 00:18:45,834
if Tyra banks
were my sister,
393
00:18:45,868 --> 00:18:47,968
you wouldn't want
to sleep with her?
394
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,400
No.
395
00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:51,567
Okay.
396
00:18:51,601 --> 00:18:56,501
You're at a beach
with Penelope Cruz,
397
00:18:56,534 --> 00:18:58,868
Cameron Diaz,
and Julia Roberts...
398
00:18:58,901 --> 00:19:01,467
don't push it.
399
00:19:01,501 --> 00:19:04,300
Okay.
400
00:19:04,334 --> 00:19:06,300
Hi again, everybody,
I'm Roger lodge,
401
00:19:06,334 --> 00:19:08,067
and welcome
to "blind date."
402
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,267
Come on, everyone,
Paul's "blind date" is on.
403
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:12,033
Today's first date
is between Paul
404
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,868
who works as a press secretary
in New York City
405
00:19:14,901 --> 00:19:18,267
and Ashley,
an aspiring model/actress.
406
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:21,467
Now, Paul collects stamps,
Ashley is just hot.
407
00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:22,968
Hey, hey!
408
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,133
So let's see
how these two make out.
409
00:19:26,467 --> 00:19:31,868
Have another one.
It's on me.
410
00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:34,567
This is going to be fun.
Hot tubs are sexy.
411
00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:36,133
Well, yeah, I mean,
you know,
412
00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:37,968
if you can get past
the fact
413
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,667
that you're marinating
in a cesspool of germs.
414
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:44,000
Come on, get in.
415
00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:45,501
Is that a tattoo?
416
00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:47,267
Yeah, I put on
a temporary one.
417
00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:49,334
I thought it would
make me look tough.
418
00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:53,000
A unicorn?
419
00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:57,300
Were they out of snuggles
the fabric softener bear?
420
00:19:57,334 --> 00:20:00,067
So let's take a look at what
Paul had to say about Ashley.
421
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:04,400
I had a great time with Ashley.
I would love to see her again.
422
00:20:04,434 --> 00:20:06,667
Wait, uh, I would not
like to see her again.
423
00:20:06,701 --> 00:20:08,601
Uh, I would. I don't.
424
00:20:08,634 --> 00:20:10,667
Um, okay,
I can't decide. Um...
425
00:20:10,701 --> 00:20:13,601
Okay, okay, okay.
426
00:20:13,634 --> 00:20:16,133
I would not like
to see her again.
427
00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:18,634
Paul,
why'd you say that?
428
00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:21,000
Preemptive strike.
This way, when she comes out
429
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:23,701
and says she doesn't like me,
I don't look like an idiot.
430
00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:26,701
I think that ship sailed
at the hot dog stand.
431
00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:30,601
Now let's see
what Ashley thought.
432
00:20:30,634 --> 00:20:32,868
Paul was...
he was a little weird,
433
00:20:32,901 --> 00:20:36,167
but I would definitely
like to go out
434
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,267
on another date with him,
435
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:41,767
you know, to...
to get to know him better.
436
00:20:41,801 --> 00:20:44,701
If you know what I mean.
437
00:20:49,234 --> 00:20:50,934
She liked me.
438
00:20:50,968 --> 00:20:53,434
And I rejected her.
439
00:20:53,467 --> 00:20:58,100
I'm a stupid, stupid man.
440
00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:01,400
This time
on national television.
441
00:21:05,501 --> 00:21:08,434
My name is Paul lassiter. I'm the
press secretary for the mayor
442
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,200
of the city of New York.
443
00:21:10,234 --> 00:21:13,801
I'm Ashley,
and I'm a model/actress.
444
00:21:13,834 --> 00:21:17,801
I like girls who, uh,
you know,
445
00:21:17,834 --> 00:21:20,367
make a dot
with a little zero.
446
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,200
I looked like a fool.
447
00:21:22,234 --> 00:21:24,167
You came across
really well.
448
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,067
In fact...
449
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:30,133
oh, even I can't
pull this off.
450
00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:32,534
[MAN] Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
[BARKING]
451
00:21:32,567 --> 00:21:35,033
Moo.33150
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof