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1
00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:03,767
Stuart just faxed me
from Antigua...
2
00:00:03,801 --> 00:00:05,968
"can't make it back to work
as scheduled.
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,734
"A huge storm flooded
the island.
4
00:00:07,767 --> 00:00:10,100
Michelle and I are
stuck here another week."
5
00:00:10,133 --> 00:00:11,267
I hope they're okay.
6
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,434
"If no one buys that,
7
00:00:12,467 --> 00:00:13,667
say there was a coup,
8
00:00:13,701 --> 00:00:15,767
and the rebels
control the airport.
9
00:00:15,801 --> 00:00:21,234
Please, Paul,
don't screw this up."
10
00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:26,133
Apparently,
there was a coup.
11
00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:27,634
Sorry I'm late.
12
00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:31,901
[CLEARS THROAT]
This morning rags passed away.
13
00:00:31,934 --> 00:00:33,367
Carter, I'm so sorry.
14
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,634
I know how much that dog
meant to you.
15
00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:38,634
The doctor did tell me he
only had 6 months to live.
16
00:00:38,667 --> 00:00:41,667
Wasn't that in 1974?
17
00:00:41,701 --> 00:00:45,801
He was a fighter.
[CLEARS THROAT]
18
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:47,834
Ah, this is, uh,
this is for you.
19
00:00:47,868 --> 00:00:50,567
It's his... Favorite chew toy.
20
00:00:50,601 --> 00:00:54,000
He would've wanted you
to have it.
21
00:00:54,033 --> 00:00:59,334
So I'm holding a plastic burger
covered in dead-dog spit?
22
00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:02,000
We called it "squeaky."
23
00:01:02,033 --> 00:01:05,167
[SQUEAKING]
24
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,667
How did it happen?
25
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:12,234
Rags was mounting his
little giggling gizmo doll
26
00:01:12,267 --> 00:01:15,200
the same way he'd done
a thousand times before,
27
00:01:15,234 --> 00:01:18,834
and his little heart
just quit.
28
00:01:18,868 --> 00:01:21,834
Excuse me.
29
00:01:21,868 --> 00:01:26,801
Older dog...
Younger plush toy...
30
00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:29,367
never works.
31
00:01:53,834 --> 00:01:55,033
Oh, sir.
Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:56,834
I just got a call
from newsday.
33
00:01:56,868 --> 00:01:59,100
They got a copy
of your tax records.
34
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:02,567
And it appears you didn't make
a charitable donation last year.
35
00:02:02,601 --> 00:02:05,667
I instructed my accountant to give
generously to several causes.
36
00:02:05,701 --> 00:02:07,901
Let me get Arthur
on the phone.
37
00:02:07,934 --> 00:02:10,267
[DIALING]
38
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,267
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
39
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,901
[BEEP BEEP BEEP]
40
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,834
WOMAN: The number you havedialed is no longer in service.
41
00:02:16,868 --> 00:02:20,334
If you have any information as to
the whereabouts of Arthur pollack,
42
00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:23,968
please contactthe federal authorities.
43
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:28,000
So obviously...
He's not the problem.
44
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:30,567
Uh, how do we
fix this, Charlie?
45
00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:33,434
I know. We'll set up a
Randall Winston foundation.
46
00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:35,801
Then we'll make a sizeable
donation to a charity.
47
00:02:35,834 --> 00:02:38,467
The important thing is money
goes to people who need it.
48
00:02:38,501 --> 00:02:40,601
It's not about publicity
or who gets credit.
49
00:02:40,634 --> 00:02:43,400
I'll leak that to the press.
Start with the times.
50
00:02:43,434 --> 00:02:46,100
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
51
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:47,901
Hello?
52
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:51,234
Look, dad, I told you...
stop calling me.
53
00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:54,067
I don't care if it is
my birthday.
54
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,868
I don't wanna see you.
55
00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:57,267
Gotta go, dad.
Bye.
56
00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:00,634
Oh, is your dad coming in
for your birthday tomorrow?
57
00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:02,667
No. No. He can't
get away from work.
58
00:03:02,701 --> 00:03:05,567
Aw, that's too bad. I would've
liked to have finally met him.
59
00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:06,601
Some other time.
60
00:03:06,634 --> 00:03:08,300
But, if it's any consolation,
61
00:03:08,334 --> 00:03:09,534
no matter what it takes,
62
00:03:09,567 --> 00:03:11,901
I am going to top the gift
I got you last year.
63
00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:15,133
Oh, you got me that awesome
vintage Yankees Jersey.
64
00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:16,901
No, the mayor got you that.
65
00:03:16,934 --> 00:03:20,367
Oh, you got me that sweet
rolling stones box set.
66
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,300
Stuart and Carter.
67
00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:25,934
Well, whatever it was,
it had to be better than
68
00:03:25,968 --> 00:03:28,634
that lame thing Paul
gave me that sorts change.
69
00:03:29,968 --> 00:03:32,133
You got me that.
70
00:03:37,868 --> 00:03:41,334
So your charity...
"harmony, not handouts"...
71
00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:45,501
provides musical instruments
to homeless people?
72
00:03:45,534 --> 00:03:48,367
Wouldn't homeless be better
served with food or shelter?
73
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,767
Been done.
74
00:03:50,801 --> 00:03:55,167
Thank you, miss Watkins. We'll keep
your organization on a short list.
75
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,334
[ACCORDION PLAYS FLAT NOTE]
76
00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:00,734
Some of these charities
are really out there.
77
00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:03,200
If I had time, I'd have
people sift through these.
78
00:04:03,234 --> 00:04:06,267
We wouldn't have to go
through this dog and pony show.
79
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,834
Sir, try not to mention anything
having to do with dogs.
80
00:04:09,868 --> 00:04:13,601
I think it reminds Carter
that rags is dead.
81
00:04:14,968 --> 00:04:16,200
Paul, do you mind?
82
00:04:16,234 --> 00:04:19,467
Really, Paul,
put a muzzle on it.
83
00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:22,868
Oh, I did it again.
Doggone it. I'm sorry.
84
00:04:22,901 --> 00:04:24,868
Sir, sir...
Would you stop hounding me?!
85
00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:26,234
Excuse me.
86
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,133
No, no, no,
Carter, sit. Sit.
87
00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,534
Stay. Stay.
88
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,901
Rough.
89
00:04:37,934 --> 00:04:40,534
All right, we're here.
What's your big surprise?
90
00:04:40,567 --> 00:04:43,501
I didn't know what to get you,
and I know it's unconventional,
91
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:46,067
but, um, look over there.
92
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:48,934
Wow!
93
00:04:48,968 --> 00:04:51,868
You have officially topped
the change-sorter.
94
00:04:51,901 --> 00:04:53,934
Not her!
95
00:04:57,467 --> 00:05:00,100
Dad.
Hey, Charlie. Good to see you.
96
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,300
Surprise! I had him come up
for your birthday.
97
00:05:03,334 --> 00:05:05,133
I can't believe
you came here.
98
00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:07,300
You're the last person
in the world I wanna see.
99
00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:08,601
Over here.
100
00:05:08,634 --> 00:05:11,534
Say "cheese."
101
00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:13,868
Take it easy, kid.
I'll get us some drinks.
102
00:05:13,901 --> 00:05:15,234
Excuse me.
103
00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:16,434
What did you do?
104
00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:18,767
I got his number off
caller I.D. And invited him.
105
00:05:18,801 --> 00:05:20,367
He's really excited
to see you.
106
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,601
He's not. He shows up
when he wants something.
107
00:05:22,634 --> 00:05:23,834
The guy's a con man.
108
00:05:23,868 --> 00:05:25,901
Well, you haven't seen him
in a long time.
109
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:26,968
Maybe he's changed.
110
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,701
I bet you paid
for his train ticket.
111
00:05:28,734 --> 00:05:30,501
I had to.
He left his wallet
112
00:05:30,534 --> 00:05:32,934
at the old-age home
where he volunteers.
113
00:05:32,968 --> 00:05:35,934
Was the old-age home
called Churchill downs?
114
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:38,400
No. It was belmont park.
115
00:05:38,434 --> 00:05:40,501
Come on,
let's be sociable.
116
00:05:40,534 --> 00:05:43,467
I got us a table
and a round of drinks...
117
00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:46,167
vodka rocks for me,
beer for Charlie,
118
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,200
and an appletini
for the lady.
119
00:05:48,234 --> 00:05:49,767
Why an appletini?
120
00:05:49,801 --> 00:05:52,200
I try to match the drink
to the person.
121
00:05:52,234 --> 00:05:54,567
An appletini is smooth,
sophisticated,
122
00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:57,968
and it's as strong as it is sweet.
Thank you, ray.
123
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,367
Why'd you get me a beer? 'Cause
you're foaming at the mouth. Relax.
124
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:06,367
All right, dad, let's get to it.
What are you really here for?
125
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,601
I wanted to be with my kid
on his birthday.
126
00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:10,067
When did that become a sin?
127
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:12,067
Tell me how much money
you need,
128
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:15,801
and we can end this pathetic,
little charade.
129
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:19,334
Mmmm. This is
a good appletini.
130
00:06:19,367 --> 00:06:21,033
Don't be so dramatic.
131
00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:23,968
I know you've always resented me
because I wasn't around,
132
00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:26,501
and I gambled away
your college fund.
133
00:06:26,534 --> 00:06:28,934
I had a college fund?
134
00:06:28,968 --> 00:06:31,267
S-should I buy us
another round?
135
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:33,667
I'm out of here.
136
00:06:33,701 --> 00:06:36,868
Let's just call this a bad idea
and forget that it happened.
137
00:06:36,901 --> 00:06:39,868
Come on, Charlie.
I just got here. Charlie!
138
00:06:42,868 --> 00:06:45,234
Charlie always assumes
the worst about me.
139
00:06:45,267 --> 00:06:48,000
What he doesn't realize is
people can change.
140
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,434
Oh, please.
This is on me.
141
00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:52,367
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
142
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:03,067
Uh, excuse me. Mike Gomez...
food critic, Manhattan dining.
143
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:05,534
Wow! I'll have to comp
the meal.
144
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,901
Oh, that's not
really necessary.
145
00:07:07,934 --> 00:07:09,701
But, what the hell?
Rules are rules.
146
00:07:10,801 --> 00:07:12,667
Now, uh...
147
00:07:17,234 --> 00:07:19,701
Charlie, I am so sorry
about last night.
148
00:07:19,734 --> 00:07:21,734
I never should've
interfered.
149
00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:23,434
I shouldn't expect you
to understand
150
00:07:23,467 --> 00:07:26,100
having a screwed-up
relationship with your father.
151
00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:29,734
Oh, are you kidding?
My dad was so... Overbearing...
152
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:33,601
always helping me with my
homework, taking me to Europe,
153
00:07:33,634 --> 00:07:36,601
showing up to my field hockey
games with signs that said,
154
00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:39,667
"go, Caitlin.
We love you, Caitlin."
155
00:07:39,701 --> 00:07:42,400
I'm sorry.
I-I was happy.
156
00:07:42,434 --> 00:07:45,467
Look, I may not know your
history with your father,
157
00:07:45,501 --> 00:07:47,868
but... He seems like
a pretty good guy.
158
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,734
I mean, he came all this way
for your birthday.
159
00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:53,567
Let me tell you how much my dad
cares about my birthday.
160
00:07:53,601 --> 00:07:56,467
When I turned 9, he promised
to give me a gumball machine.
161
00:07:56,501 --> 00:07:58,667
I was so excited
I couldn't sleep for weeks.
162
00:07:58,701 --> 00:07:59,934
I told all my friends.
163
00:07:59,968 --> 00:08:03,701
I woke up that morning.
I ran downstairs.
164
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:06,234
There was
no gumball machine...
165
00:08:06,267 --> 00:08:09,667
Just a note saying
that he'd moved out.
166
00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:12,701
Have you guys seen Carter?
167
00:08:12,734 --> 00:08:13,934
No. Why?
168
00:08:13,968 --> 00:08:16,567
Well, I realized that
in his time of crisis,
169
00:08:16,601 --> 00:08:17,834
he needs a go-to guy.
170
00:08:17,868 --> 00:08:20,133
And with his best friend
out of town,
171
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,167
I decided to step up
and be his new Stuart...
172
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,634
Minus the bad haircut...
173
00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,100
And the rudeness.
174
00:08:26,133 --> 00:08:28,534
And subscriptions
to porno magazines?
175
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:31,934
Yeah, that too.
176
00:08:31,968 --> 00:08:33,200
Oh, there you are.
177
00:08:33,234 --> 00:08:35,634
Listen, Carter, I know that
you're down about rags.
178
00:08:35,667 --> 00:08:36,968
But you know what?
179
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,801
He's gonna be
with you forever.
180
00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:41,467
I'll always carry him
in my heart.
181
00:08:41,501 --> 00:08:45,634
More than in your heart.
182
00:08:46,834 --> 00:08:49,834
Hah? [LAUGHS]
183
00:08:49,868 --> 00:08:53,167
I had him stuffed!
184
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,133
And look, for an extra $15,
185
00:08:56,167 --> 00:09:00,167
they put in cloudy marbles to
match the cataracts in his eyes.
186
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:05,033
Paul, this is
totally offensive!
187
00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:07,567
No, it's not.
188
00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:09,901
And look what they put under
his little paws...
189
00:09:09,934 --> 00:09:11,434
wheels!
190
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:12,834
Now...
191
00:09:12,868 --> 00:09:17,400
Carter can still
take him out for walks.
192
00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:19,968
Lookit! Lookit!
Lookit!
193
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,200
Ha ha ha ha.
194
00:09:23,234 --> 00:09:24,501
Pretty great, huh?
195
00:09:24,534 --> 00:09:26,334
Are you out of your mind?!
196
00:09:26,367 --> 00:09:30,067
How could you think this
horror show is... is great?!
197
00:09:32,234 --> 00:09:33,734
Wow.
198
00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:37,234
Carter hated that.
199
00:09:37,267 --> 00:09:41,200
I thought this was a perfect way
to preserve a loved one.
200
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:43,267
I guess I was wrong.
201
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:46,267
I'm glad you figured that out
before his grandmother died.
202
00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:53,667
It was a great idea to have the
mayor set up this foundation.
203
00:09:53,701 --> 00:09:55,267
The press will
get off his back.
204
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,067
Which did the mayor
end up picking?
205
00:09:57,100 --> 00:10:00,868
He went with an organization that
uses horses to rehabilitate inmates.
206
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:04,667
That makes sense. 'Cause that's what
you really want to give a criminal...
207
00:10:04,701 --> 00:10:08,200
something that can run 30 Miles
an hour and jump fences.
208
00:10:08,234 --> 00:10:10,534
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have your attention?
209
00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:13,801
I've interviewed,
oh, dozens of charities,
210
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:17,534
but finally, a man came in
who truly inspired me.
211
00:10:17,567 --> 00:10:20,300
So it's my honor
to introduce to you...
212
00:10:20,334 --> 00:10:23,734
The recipient of a $25,000
check... Mr. ray Harris.
213
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:41,334
In conclusion, these men
are not just ex-convicts.
214
00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:43,801
They're fathers,
husbands, sons.
215
00:10:43,834 --> 00:10:47,067
This money represents a second
chance for them and their families.
216
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:50,100
A new road to the future...
Paved with hope.
217
00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:52,234
Thank you.
218
00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:58,167
I can't believe people
are buying this.
219
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:02,100
[CRYING SOFTLY]
Really... What a fraud.
220
00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:05,167
I heard about your dog.
I understand how you must feel.
221
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,467
But just remember...
222
00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:09,200
we only get strong when we
lift heavy burdens.
223
00:11:09,234 --> 00:11:12,300
You're a special person.
God bless you.
224
00:11:14,868 --> 00:11:17,033
I guess I'll go draft up
a press release.
225
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:20,300
My people will draft up the press release.
Don't do any extra work.
226
00:11:20,334 --> 00:11:24,033
You're a special person.
God bless you.
227
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:25,834
I need to talk to you.
228
00:11:25,868 --> 00:11:27,167
Not right now.
229
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,067
Call me at the foundation.
We'll set up an appointment.
230
00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:33,033
Great. Why don't you give
me an address and phone number?
231
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,634
You know what?
I've got just a second.
232
00:11:35,667 --> 00:11:38,300
Excuse me.
233
00:11:38,334 --> 00:11:40,334
What the hell do you think
you're doing?!
234
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,567
Of all the stuff
you've pulled in your life,
235
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:44,501
starting a fake charity
is a new low.
236
00:11:44,534 --> 00:11:47,033
Charlie, I guarantee you
every cent from that check
237
00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:49,234
will be going
to ex-convicts.
238
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:51,200
It's not.
It's going to you!
239
00:11:51,234 --> 00:11:52,901
I got news for you.
240
00:11:52,934 --> 00:11:57,734
That 6 months I spent upstate,
I wasn't in chefs' school.
241
00:11:57,767 --> 00:12:00,167
Look, the mayor means
too much to me.
242
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,734
I can't let you do this.
243
00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:03,734
Fine. Turn me in.
244
00:12:03,767 --> 00:12:06,200
You know I can't do that.
245
00:12:06,234 --> 00:12:07,567
This is crazy.
246
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:10,267
What do I have to do
to get you to walk away?
247
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:13,167
I'll tell you what...
we'll shoot a game of pool.
248
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,567
If I win, I take the money
and leave.
249
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,601
You win,
I leave right away.
250
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,167
I break.
251
00:12:27,133 --> 00:12:30,434
Not bad.
You remember what I taught you.
252
00:12:30,467 --> 00:12:31,901
Of course I remember.
253
00:12:31,934 --> 00:12:34,133
You started taking me
to pool halls when I was 7.
254
00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:37,267
Sorry about that. I wanted
to wait till you were ready.
255
00:12:40,601 --> 00:12:43,801
Remember when I got you out of school,
took you to Callahan's tavern?
256
00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,400
How could I forget?
257
00:12:45,434 --> 00:12:47,534
I made 100 bucks, you let
me have a sip of beer,
258
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,467
and I got a kiss
from that hot waitress.
259
00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:50,701
Boy, was your mom mad
260
00:12:50,734 --> 00:12:52,934
when we rolled in at 2:00
in the morning.
261
00:12:52,968 --> 00:12:55,400
Well, in her defense,
I was 8 years old,
262
00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:58,033
and we had just
hot-wired a camaro.
263
00:12:58,067 --> 00:13:00,567
Ha ha ha ha ha.
264
00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:02,634
Well, I forgot
how good you are.
265
00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:05,234
You're in the middle
of screwing me over,
266
00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:07,434
and here I am
laughing with you.
267
00:13:07,467 --> 00:13:10,734
Maybe you just can't help having
a good time with your old man.
268
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,601
Damn it.
269
00:13:14,634 --> 00:13:16,801
Excuse me.
270
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:29,167
Is it me...
271
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,601
Or is the table
leaning to the left?
272
00:13:31,634 --> 00:13:36,834
Or is it leaning
to the right?
273
00:13:36,868 --> 00:13:39,501
I think the table's leaning
towards the pockets.
274
00:13:44,033 --> 00:13:45,367
Tough break.
275
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,767
Well, it's like
you always said, dad...
276
00:13:47,801 --> 00:13:50,767
pool is a game of momentum.
277
00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:54,601
Mo...
278
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,534
Men...
279
00:13:56,567 --> 00:13:58,667
Tum.
280
00:13:58,701 --> 00:14:00,300
Excuse me.
281
00:14:00,334 --> 00:14:03,767
There you are.
What's going on?
282
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:06,267
If I sink this shot,
the mayor gets his money back.
283
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:09,601
Oh, my God.
It's a lot of pressure.
284
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:14,200
I'll shut up.
285
00:14:17,434 --> 00:14:19,601
You can do it, Charlie.
286
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:24,133
[CLEARS THROAT]
I'll drop by city hall
287
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:26,634
to pick up
my check tomorrow.
288
00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:30,734
Man, you choked.
289
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,868
I know I screwed up, but this
is gonna make you feel better.
290
00:14:37,901 --> 00:14:38,968
I-I don't know, Paul.
291
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,901
Don't be ridiculous.
Please, sit down.
292
00:14:40,934 --> 00:14:43,634
Rags deserves
a dignified send-off.
293
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,400
Ladies and gentlemen,
294
00:14:45,434 --> 00:14:48,501
we are here today to pay
our final respects
295
00:14:48,534 --> 00:14:50,567
to a special, little dog.
296
00:14:50,601 --> 00:14:53,601
He loved to eat.
He loved to play.
297
00:14:53,634 --> 00:14:56,334
He loved his giggling gizmo,
298
00:14:56,367 --> 00:15:00,968
but in the end,
maybe a bit too much.
299
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:05,133
And now... We pay
our final respects...
300
00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:07,400
To an old friend.
301
00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:21,133
Oh, darn it. How did the guy
in the store do this?
302
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,667
I've had enough.
303
00:15:22,701 --> 00:15:25,901
[BARKING]
304
00:15:25,934 --> 00:15:27,968
That came free
with the wheels.
305
00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:34,133
Carter. Carter, I'm sorry.
I was just trying to help.
306
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,734
I-I know. There's nothing
you can do, Paul.
307
00:15:36,767 --> 00:15:39,534
Losing rags was like
losing a best friend.
308
00:15:39,567 --> 00:15:42,801
So right now...
309
00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:44,801
I just need to feel sad.
310
00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:46,367
Promise me...
311
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,234
No more ridiculous gestures
to make me feel better.
312
00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:50,501
I promise.
313
00:15:58,534 --> 00:16:00,567
Outside.
314
00:16:00,601 --> 00:16:01,834
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
315
00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:02,834
Are you okay?
316
00:16:02,868 --> 00:16:04,467
Ye... ha ha ha ha.
317
00:16:04,501 --> 00:16:06,767
That's the stupidest thing
I've seen in my life.
318
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:08,167
I know. I'm sorry.
319
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,133
I don't know what
I was thinking.
320
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:12,501
What the hell are you
ever thinking?!
321
00:16:12,534 --> 00:16:15,000
I don't know.
I'm an idiot!
322
00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:17,934
You are!
But I love you for it.
323
00:16:17,968 --> 00:16:19,901
You want
a gingerbread rags?
324
00:16:19,934 --> 00:16:22,567
No, no, no.
Aaah! Ha ha ha.
325
00:16:22,601 --> 00:16:26,534
Come on! I got a collage.
326
00:16:28,968 --> 00:16:30,534
Oh, hey, hey, hey, Charlie.
327
00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:32,868
I'm just writing out a check
to Ray's foundation.
328
00:16:32,901 --> 00:16:35,067
Sir, maybe you're
rushing into this.
329
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,701
It's an awful lot of money.
330
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:39,501
You kidding? I keep more cash
than that hidden in my office.
331
00:16:39,534 --> 00:16:42,767
You don't say.
332
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:45,200
Good thing this office
has such tight security.
333
00:16:45,234 --> 00:16:47,434
Well, actually,
it's pretty weak.
334
00:16:47,467 --> 00:16:50,701
That's why I keep it
in a fake book.
335
00:16:50,734 --> 00:16:54,834
You don't actually think I'm
reading "don quixote," do you?
336
00:16:54,868 --> 00:16:57,033
Hey, you ever think
of picking that book up?
337
00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:59,534
Not till just now.
338
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:04,300
My point is, sir, that there
are plenty of other charities.
339
00:17:04,334 --> 00:17:07,133
It sounds like you're having
a problem with Mr. Harris.
340
00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:08,501
RAY:
Yes, Mr. Crawford...
341
00:17:08,534 --> 00:17:10,701
Do you have
a problem with me?
342
00:17:10,734 --> 00:17:12,601
I just... I...
343
00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:16,767
no.
344
00:17:16,801 --> 00:17:18,968
I have no problem.
345
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,067
Oh, well, we're set then.
346
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:22,901
Now, who should
I make it out to?
347
00:17:22,934 --> 00:17:26,868
Our holding company is called
"convicts are saved by horses."
348
00:17:26,901 --> 00:17:29,400
But you can just
use the acronym.
349
00:17:29,434 --> 00:17:33,634
C-a-s-h.
350
00:17:37,367 --> 00:17:39,567
There you go.
351
00:17:41,634 --> 00:17:44,801
Oh, God, it's so frustrating.
He totally manipulated you,
352
00:17:44,834 --> 00:17:46,801
and there's nothing
you could do about it.
353
00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:48,834
If only you didn't
suck at pool.
354
00:17:50,901 --> 00:17:52,667
I found a way to fix this.
355
00:17:52,701 --> 00:17:56,434
I'm gonna make a donation in the
mayor's name to a similar charity.
356
00:17:56,467 --> 00:17:59,434
At least the money will go where
the mayor wants it to.
357
00:17:59,467 --> 00:18:01,934
If there's anything I can do
to help, let me know.
358
00:18:01,968 --> 00:18:04,834
I could use $25,000.
359
00:18:04,868 --> 00:18:06,868
How about a hug?
360
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:20,300
What the hell are you
still doing here?
361
00:18:20,334 --> 00:18:21,801
Just wanted to say goodbye.
362
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,601
Fine! Goodbye.
363
00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,767
This time let's
make it permanent.
364
00:18:25,801 --> 00:18:27,367
You got your money.
365
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,400
Yes, I did.
366
00:18:29,434 --> 00:18:34,234
Now, there's only one thing
left for me to do.
367
00:18:34,267 --> 00:18:37,934
I'm not gonna take the money.
I was never gonna take it.
368
00:18:37,968 --> 00:18:41,434
For the first time in your life,
you're gonna do the right thing?
369
00:18:41,467 --> 00:18:43,567
And what? Now I'm supposed
to give you a hug
370
00:18:43,601 --> 00:18:45,334
and let you take me
to a ballgame?
371
00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:46,901
Well, forget it.
372
00:18:46,934 --> 00:18:48,100
It's too late for that.
373
00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:49,667
Hey, we're not done talking.
374
00:18:49,701 --> 00:18:51,133
Yes, we are!
375
00:18:51,167 --> 00:18:53,334
Every time you drift
back into my life,
376
00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:56,234
it's always about what you want,
what you can get from me.
377
00:18:56,267 --> 00:18:58,467
If it's not the check,
then what is it, dad, huh?
378
00:18:58,501 --> 00:18:59,801
What's the angle?
379
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:04,501
The angle is I wanted to be
with my kid on his birthday.
380
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:07,567
After you stormed out of the
bar, I had to figure out a way
381
00:19:07,601 --> 00:19:09,834
to spend some
quality time with you.
382
00:19:09,868 --> 00:19:13,367
So... You made up
a fake charity,
383
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,767
conned my boss out of 25 grand,
and jeopardized my career?
384
00:19:16,801 --> 00:19:19,167
That's your idea
of quality time?
385
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:23,367
I was gonna take you fishing,
but that seemed so cliche.
386
00:19:24,734 --> 00:19:27,167
Well, why now...
After all these years?
387
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,634
I wanna get back
in your life.
388
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,534
No! It's too late
for that!
389
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,467
Too many nights I sat
looking out the window
390
00:19:35,501 --> 00:19:36,868
hoping you'd come home.
391
00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:39,400
Too many times I had to
cook dinner for mom
392
00:19:39,434 --> 00:19:41,767
'cause she was
so tired from work.
393
00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:44,267
I screwed up.
I know that. But I'm here now.
394
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,834
I don't need you now!
I needed you then!
395
00:19:46,868 --> 00:19:52,100
Where were you when I was learning
to ride a bike or shoot a basket?
396
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:56,801
Do you realize that mom
had to teach me how to shave?
397
00:19:56,834 --> 00:20:02,167
I was the only guy that showed up
to baseball camp with a lady bic.
398
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,934
Well, I'm just saying
I'm not that guy anymore.
399
00:20:04,968 --> 00:20:08,634
So... If you ever decide
to give me a second chance,
400
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:11,033
here's my number.
401
00:20:11,067 --> 00:20:14,234
"Ray Larson...
licensed chiropractor"?
402
00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:15,834
It's on the other side.
403
00:20:15,868 --> 00:20:18,767
By the way,
we're closed wednesdays.
404
00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:27,634
Look, I'd like to say that
I tried to be a great father,
405
00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:33,033
and I did the best I could, but
we both know that's not true.
406
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:36,100
What is true is that
I'm proud of you.
407
00:20:36,133 --> 00:20:38,601
You're my boy.
408
00:20:38,634 --> 00:20:40,667
And I love you.
409
00:20:40,701 --> 00:20:43,701
Happy Birthday, son.
410
00:21:27,968 --> 00:21:30,400
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
[BARKING]
411
00:21:30,434 --> 00:21:32,667
Moo.30821
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