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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,701 --> 00:00:03,734 It is election day, and millions of new yorkers 2 00:00:03,767 --> 00:00:05,434 will be casting their votes for mayor. 3 00:00:05,467 --> 00:00:07,968 It is shaping up to be one of the tightest races in years, 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,300 and nyl recently spoke with advisors from both camps. 5 00:00:11,334 --> 00:00:14,801 The Winston administration is a joke that's gone on too long. 6 00:00:14,834 --> 00:00:16,934 Nancy Wheeler is incompetent. 7 00:00:16,968 --> 00:00:19,467 She has no business being in politics. 8 00:00:19,501 --> 00:00:20,701 Harsh words from those two. 9 00:00:20,734 --> 00:00:22,067 I'd hate to see what would happen 10 00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:23,634 if you put them in the same room together. 11 00:00:26,534 --> 00:00:28,601 The polls open in one hour. 12 00:00:28,634 --> 00:00:30,100 We should get going. 13 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,467 Have you seen my boxers? 14 00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:36,300 Oh, I'm wearing them. 15 00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:37,868 Have you seen my thong? 16 00:01:10,467 --> 00:01:12,133 Guys, guys, talk to me. 17 00:01:12,167 --> 00:01:13,801 Early exit polls are projecting 18 00:01:13,834 --> 00:01:15,534 a 12-point victory for the mayor. 19 00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:17,067 We're expecting record voter turnout 20 00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,634 in the Bronx. That should be good for us. 21 00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:20,234 Right. 22 00:01:20,267 --> 00:01:22,501 We should be talking about this in the war room. 23 00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:28,901 Okay, go. 24 00:01:28,934 --> 00:01:29,968 Isn't this the bullpen? 25 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,501 Does the bullpen 26 00:01:31,534 --> 00:01:33,901 usually have a color-coded map or a red phone? 27 00:01:33,934 --> 00:01:35,567 No. 28 00:01:35,601 --> 00:01:37,400 Thank you. 29 00:01:37,434 --> 00:01:39,234 Couldn't we just call it the bullpen 30 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,567 and acknowledge the new phone and map? 31 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:45,000 Guys, just give me the war room. 32 00:01:45,033 --> 00:01:48,767 Okay, it's the war room. 33 00:01:48,801 --> 00:01:50,567 Now, this is the hot phone. 34 00:01:50,601 --> 00:01:51,734 It is to be used strictly 35 00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:53,067 for election-related emergencies. 36 00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:54,300 [TELEPHONE BUZZES] 37 00:01:54,334 --> 00:01:56,100 Here we go. Carter, grab that. 38 00:01:56,133 --> 00:01:58,834 I'm on it. Heywood. Go. 39 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:01,934 No, I fell asleep. Did you tape it? 40 00:02:03,167 --> 00:02:05,801 I'll call you back. 41 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,701 Paul, Paul, what are you doing? 42 00:02:08,734 --> 00:02:10,300 You should be on your way to the senior center 43 00:02:10,334 --> 00:02:11,834 in forest hills to explain the new ballot. 44 00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:13,968 And remember, many of them are hard of hearing. 45 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,601 Why did I get picked to do that? 46 00:02:16,634 --> 00:02:19,501 No reason. 47 00:02:19,534 --> 00:02:21,467 Caitlin. 48 00:02:21,501 --> 00:02:23,501 What are you doing? Having a bagel. 49 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:25,501 Good. Put some cream cheese on that. 50 00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:27,067 Charlie, calm down. 51 00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,834 I've set up the mayor's press conference, 52 00:02:28,868 --> 00:02:31,133 and I've already briefed him. Everything's taken care of. 53 00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:33,467 I know. I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous. 54 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,300 I really want to win this thing. 55 00:02:35,334 --> 00:02:36,534 I know. We all do. 56 00:02:36,567 --> 00:02:37,968 Look, I got you a little present. 57 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,934 It's a picture of the staff at your birthday party. 58 00:02:39,968 --> 00:02:41,133 Read the inscription. 59 00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:44,300 "Four more years"? 60 00:02:44,334 --> 00:02:45,868 I don't want this. We haven't won yet. 61 00:02:45,901 --> 00:02:48,767 There's still a million things that can go wrong. 62 00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:50,734 Charlie, I always say if you think positively 63 00:02:50,767 --> 00:02:52,901 about something, you can make it happen. 64 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,100 Not that. 65 00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:00,868 [SIGHS] 66 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,868 Ha ha ha. Hi. Hi. 67 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,868 [WHISPERS] Where do we stand on proposition 48? 68 00:03:15,901 --> 00:03:16,868 [WHISPERS] Against. 69 00:03:16,901 --> 00:03:18,734 What about 37? 70 00:03:18,767 --> 00:03:19,734 [WHISPERS] For. 71 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,868 Wheeler or Winston? 72 00:03:22,901 --> 00:03:25,067 Just kidding. 73 00:03:27,868 --> 00:03:30,200 Hey, stranger. 74 00:03:30,234 --> 00:03:32,334 Want to join the voting booth club? 75 00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:34,100 I'm already a member. 76 00:03:34,133 --> 00:03:37,701 Want to join the over-behind-that-table club? 77 00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:41,601 I would, but Wheeler's on her way in. 78 00:03:41,634 --> 00:03:43,634 Guess you'll have to wait till tonight 79 00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:45,300 in my hotel room. 80 00:03:45,334 --> 00:03:47,567 How can you have a relationship 81 00:03:47,601 --> 00:03:50,200 based entirely on sex? 82 00:03:50,234 --> 00:03:51,534 Our secret... 83 00:03:51,567 --> 00:03:53,868 lack of communication. 84 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,434 Ah... 85 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:03,100 Charlie, Caitlin, I've got some big news. 86 00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:05,634 I'm going to ask Claire to be my wife. 87 00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:07,801 Oh, my God! That's so amazing! 88 00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:10,501 Why do women go nuts when they hear anything about marriage? 89 00:04:10,534 --> 00:04:11,834 That's not true. 90 00:04:11,868 --> 00:04:13,334 I got her a 4-carat ring... 91 00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:16,234 Oh, my God! That's so romantic! 92 00:04:16,267 --> 00:04:18,067 And I put it in a fortune cookie, 93 00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:20,901 and I'm going to surprise her today at lunch. 94 00:04:20,934 --> 00:04:22,767 Sir, you are on a very tight schedule. 95 00:04:22,801 --> 00:04:24,868 Don't worry, Charlie. We have a comfortable lead. 96 00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:26,667 I'm going to win my second term as mayor, 97 00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:30,067 and I'm going to do it with my fiancée by my side. 98 00:04:33,234 --> 00:04:34,501 I said "fiancée." 99 00:04:34,534 --> 00:04:37,234 Oh, sorry. Oh, my God! 100 00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:46,667 Good morning. My name is Paul lassiter. 101 00:04:46,701 --> 00:04:49,167 Hey, uh, we can hear, you know? 102 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,868 Yeah, yeah. Certainly. 103 00:04:51,901 --> 00:04:54,000 Now, as you can see, 104 00:04:54,033 --> 00:04:58,133 each candidate's name is clearly marked on the ballot. 105 00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,033 There's mayor Randall Winston. 106 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,767 Below him is Nancy Wheeler, 107 00:05:02,801 --> 00:05:05,934 and below her, krazy Kenny Cooper, 108 00:05:05,968 --> 00:05:08,067 who has pledged to spend his entire term 109 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,467 on rollerblades. 110 00:05:09,501 --> 00:05:12,501 Now, if you want to vote for Randall Winston, 111 00:05:12,534 --> 00:05:15,868 just punch the box 112 00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,234 like this. 113 00:05:17,267 --> 00:05:19,534 I-I'm sorry. Not... not the box. 114 00:05:19,567 --> 00:05:22,400 The box on the left, like that. Yes. 115 00:05:22,434 --> 00:05:25,300 On your left or our left? It's... 116 00:05:25,334 --> 00:05:29,567 it's my left. My left, it would be your right. Hold on. Wait a minute. Yes. 117 00:05:29,601 --> 00:05:32,567 Your right, but it's the box on the left. 118 00:05:32,601 --> 00:05:35,501 Which one is it? Yours. Mine. 119 00:05:35,534 --> 00:05:36,801 Um, okay, you know what? 120 00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,267 I'm going to call the red phone 121 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,801 just to double-check. 122 00:05:41,534 --> 00:05:43,133 I mean, can you believe it? 123 00:05:43,167 --> 00:05:46,200 The whole time, he was cheating on Steve. 124 00:05:46,234 --> 00:05:48,801 [BUSY SIGNAL] 125 00:05:48,834 --> 00:05:50,033 Remember... 126 00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:53,834 Not this box. This box. 127 00:05:53,868 --> 00:05:56,634 You get the picture. 128 00:05:59,601 --> 00:06:01,100 So what's the big surprise? 129 00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:03,501 Patience, my dear. 130 00:06:03,534 --> 00:06:05,868 Oh, somebody wrote on my poster. 131 00:06:05,901 --> 00:06:08,000 Excuse me. What do these characters mean? 132 00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:09,801 It says, "Winston is a man of great wisdom 133 00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:11,434 and has the strength of 10 tigers." 134 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,834 What can I say? They love me. 135 00:06:16,868 --> 00:06:18,300 Follow me. 136 00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:22,334 Hi. 137 00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:23,334 Hi. 138 00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:24,968 I'm taking donations to help build 139 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,868 a community center for underprivileged children. 140 00:06:26,901 --> 00:06:29,934 That sounds like a worthy cause. 141 00:06:29,968 --> 00:06:32,367 $100, $200... 142 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,734 Sorry. Only got the big boys. 143 00:06:39,234 --> 00:06:41,200 Well, I'll tell you what. 144 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,534 Why don't we start with a fortune cookie? 145 00:06:43,567 --> 00:06:45,901 They're for dessert. Open it. 146 00:06:45,934 --> 00:06:49,300 I think you'll find the contents very interesting. 147 00:06:49,334 --> 00:06:51,601 Randall, this is amazing. 148 00:06:51,634 --> 00:06:53,267 [CHUCKLES] 149 00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:56,901 I do love to travel. 150 00:06:56,934 --> 00:06:59,567 What'd you do with my cookie? 151 00:06:59,601 --> 00:07:01,534 Oh, my God. I don't believe it. 152 00:07:01,567 --> 00:07:02,634 Yes. 153 00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:04,167 Yes, I will marry you. 154 00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:08,067 That's mine. 155 00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:10,100 Oh, thank God. 156 00:07:12,868 --> 00:07:14,601 Claire, 157 00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,968 I'd given up on trying to find true happiness, 158 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,300 but since... 159 00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:19,801 since you've come into my life, 160 00:07:19,834 --> 00:07:23,334 you've filled it with such romance and joy... 161 00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:28,100 Claire, will you be my wife? 162 00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:30,100 You'll make me the happiest man on earth 163 00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:32,934 if you just say that one magic word. 164 00:07:32,968 --> 00:07:34,868 No. 165 00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:38,133 That's not it. Try again. 166 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,434 Randall... 167 00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:43,434 I've loved our time together, 168 00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:45,467 but I can't marry you. 169 00:07:45,501 --> 00:07:47,133 Why not? 170 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:50,200 'Cause you're the mayor of New York. Yeah? 171 00:07:50,234 --> 00:07:52,367 I don't want to live my life in the press. 172 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,934 I mean, let's face it... 173 00:07:53,968 --> 00:07:55,501 you're never going to be able to draw the line 174 00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:57,501 between politician and husband. 175 00:07:57,534 --> 00:07:59,701 I categorically deny that accusation. 176 00:07:59,734 --> 00:08:03,000 You're doing it right now. 177 00:08:03,033 --> 00:08:04,601 You can't be honest with people. 178 00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:07,067 You just say what you think they want to hear. 179 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,534 Um... 180 00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:12,334 It's just not meant to be. 181 00:08:17,734 --> 00:08:19,501 I'm just not ready to get married. 182 00:08:19,534 --> 00:08:23,067 Save it. We're through. 183 00:08:24,501 --> 00:08:25,934 [PLINK] 184 00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:33,267 Here he comes, guys. Get ready. 185 00:08:36,234 --> 00:08:38,334 Congratulations! 186 00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:41,501 She said no and walked out of my life. 187 00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:44,734 Who needs her? 188 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,601 What happened? 189 00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:50,167 She doesn't want to marry a politician. 190 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,901 She says we're all dishonest. 191 00:08:51,934 --> 00:08:54,467 Well, I wasn't the one faking orgasms. 192 00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:58,701 Well, there was that one time, but I was tired. 193 00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:02,901 Charlie, maybe she's right. 194 00:09:02,934 --> 00:09:05,767 Maybe I need to start being more honest. 195 00:09:05,801 --> 00:09:08,501 Uh, sir, you seem really upset. Maybe you shouldn't do this press conference. 196 00:09:08,534 --> 00:09:11,701 No, I'm fine, Charlie. Let's... let's go. 197 00:09:11,734 --> 00:09:13,000 Ah. Here's the mayor. 198 00:09:13,033 --> 00:09:14,000 Hi. 199 00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:15,100 Ha ha. 200 00:09:15,133 --> 00:09:17,100 Listen, I'm sorry I was late. 201 00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:21,801 I had a very important meeting with... 202 00:09:21,834 --> 00:09:23,133 no one. 203 00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:27,501 The truth is I just got dumped, 204 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,300 and I was sitting in my office 205 00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:32,267 staring out the window listening to light jazz. 206 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:34,267 [REPORTERS MURMURING] 207 00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:35,734 Sir, what are you doing? 208 00:09:35,767 --> 00:09:38,267 Being honest for a change, and it feels right. 209 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,667 I know. It's wrong... very wrong. 210 00:09:40,701 --> 00:09:43,467 Mr. mayor, you promised to modernize all subway cars 211 00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:47,100 without raising transit fares. How can you do both? 212 00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:49,234 I can't. I lied. 213 00:09:49,267 --> 00:09:51,667 Good one, sir. 214 00:09:51,701 --> 00:09:53,467 Ha ha. Good election day joke. 215 00:09:53,501 --> 00:09:54,901 Ha ha ha ha. 216 00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:57,634 Please stop. 217 00:09:57,667 --> 00:10:00,734 Look, come on, we all know that's the way the game works. 218 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,033 I tell you what you want to hear, 219 00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:03,667 I get four more years in the mansion, 220 00:10:03,701 --> 00:10:05,901 and then I just do the best I can. 221 00:10:05,934 --> 00:10:07,601 So... 222 00:10:07,634 --> 00:10:09,234 Next question. 223 00:10:09,267 --> 00:10:10,868 Yeah, we're having trouble hearing you, sir. 224 00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,400 Let me check your microphone. 225 00:10:12,434 --> 00:10:14,300 Ah. 226 00:10:14,334 --> 00:10:16,200 Here's the problem. 227 00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:28,501 No, no, no, no, no. When the mayor said he was raising taxes, 228 00:10:28,534 --> 00:10:30,534 he was talking about his foster child... 229 00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:32,033 Cynthia taxes. 230 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,000 Yes, he's going to raise her until she's 12% old. 231 00:10:37,334 --> 00:10:38,601 Hello? 232 00:10:38,634 --> 00:10:39,834 Bad news. 233 00:10:39,868 --> 00:10:42,067 Now Wheeler's leading by 2,000 votes. 234 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,801 Oh, there's got to be something we can do. 235 00:10:43,834 --> 00:10:45,501 Charlie, the polls are closed. 236 00:10:45,534 --> 00:10:47,501 All we can do now is wait and try to remain calm. 237 00:10:47,534 --> 00:10:50,100 Oh, my God! Aah! We're losing! 238 00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:52,300 We're all going to be out of a job. 239 00:10:52,334 --> 00:10:54,901 I'm not qualified to do anything else. 240 00:10:54,934 --> 00:10:57,067 I can barely do this. 241 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:59,901 I can't believe I said all those things to the press. 242 00:10:59,934 --> 00:11:01,834 I was so distraught over Claire, 243 00:11:01,868 --> 00:11:06,234 I let my emotions affect my judgment. 244 00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:08,033 Sir, now that you and Claire have broken up, 245 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,067 I just have to wonder... 246 00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,200 How was she? 247 00:11:13,968 --> 00:11:16,100 Another time. 248 00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:20,167 Look, the election is not over yet. 249 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,200 She's right. Two districts still haven't reported... 250 00:11:22,234 --> 00:11:23,601 Chinatown, which is pro-Wheeler, 251 00:11:23,634 --> 00:11:25,234 and forest hills, which is pro-Winston. 252 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,667 If we do well in forest hills, we've still got a shot. 253 00:11:27,701 --> 00:11:29,267 STUART: Hey, look, they got an update. 254 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,300 In a shocking election night development, 255 00:11:31,334 --> 00:11:33,934 the forest hills district has just been won 256 00:11:33,968 --> 00:11:37,200 by a fringe candidate known as krazy Kenny Cooper. 257 00:11:39,234 --> 00:11:42,334 Apparently, this was the result of confusion over the ballot. 258 00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:45,234 Some jerk came down here to explain the ballot. 259 00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:47,501 Mark the left, mark the right... 260 00:11:47,534 --> 00:11:50,934 we didn't know what the hell was going on. 261 00:11:50,968 --> 00:11:54,367 The Winston administration has to be asking themselves, what went wrong? 262 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,767 Wow. 263 00:11:59,801 --> 00:12:03,767 Krazy Kenny must have really gotten his message across. 264 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,300 What are you doing? 265 00:12:11,334 --> 00:12:12,667 It's over. 266 00:12:12,701 --> 00:12:14,801 I was so stupid to get my hopes up. 267 00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:17,167 I'm going to go see Jennifer. 268 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,200 Of course. Take the easy way out. 269 00:12:20,601 --> 00:12:21,834 Oh, hey, guys. 270 00:12:21,868 --> 00:12:23,501 Look, before I go make my concession speech, 271 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:24,634 it would mean a lot to me 272 00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:26,300 if we could gather here for a toast. 273 00:12:26,334 --> 00:12:27,901 We'd love to, sir. 274 00:12:27,934 --> 00:12:29,133 You know, when I was a teenager, 275 00:12:29,167 --> 00:12:31,868 my grandfather, on his deathbed, 276 00:12:31,901 --> 00:12:34,334 gave me a rare bottle of champagne. 277 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,267 His only request 278 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,067 was that I save it for a special moment 279 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,601 and share it with the people that I love. 280 00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:42,834 And you saved it for this moment with us? 281 00:12:42,868 --> 00:12:44,901 No, I drank it that night in the woods, 282 00:12:44,934 --> 00:12:48,367 but this stuff's pretty good, too. 283 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,934 You know... 284 00:12:49,968 --> 00:12:53,167 We've accomplished a lot in our time here. 285 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,234 We should be very proud. 286 00:12:56,267 --> 00:13:01,000 Tonight, at least we'll all be together. 287 00:13:01,033 --> 00:13:02,200 I'll see you later. 288 00:13:02,234 --> 00:13:03,767 Charlie, you can't just leave. 289 00:13:03,801 --> 00:13:05,734 He wants us around for the toast. 290 00:13:05,767 --> 00:13:07,434 Why, so we can all sit around 291 00:13:07,467 --> 00:13:08,801 and be miserable together? 292 00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:10,901 The job's done. There's nothing left to say. 293 00:13:10,934 --> 00:13:12,234 How about "goodbye"? 294 00:13:12,267 --> 00:13:14,701 How about "here's what you meant to me"? 295 00:13:14,734 --> 00:13:17,234 Caitlin, I'm not married to these people. I just work with them. 296 00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:18,667 Charlie, you can't treat these people 297 00:13:18,701 --> 00:13:20,767 like they're one of your shallow relationships. 298 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:22,968 They mean more to you than that. 299 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,934 And these people need you right now, 300 00:13:24,968 --> 00:13:26,634 and whether you want to admit it or not, 301 00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:28,100 you need them, too. 302 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,868 You mean these people? 303 00:13:31,901 --> 00:13:35,334 I'd like 50 large pizzas delivered 304 00:13:35,367 --> 00:13:38,200 to Nancy Wheeler's campaign headquarters. 305 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:41,434 These guys are going to feel so stupid. Yeah. 306 00:13:41,467 --> 00:13:44,634 My credit card number is 4071... 307 00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:45,968 0022... 308 00:13:47,601 --> 00:13:49,801 I'm outta here. 309 00:13:56,934 --> 00:13:59,934 I know today must have been upsetting for you, 310 00:13:59,968 --> 00:14:02,801 so if you need some time before we jump into bed, 311 00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:04,234 I understand. 312 00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:07,834 Well, thanks. It might help. 313 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:12,434 Okay. I'm good. 314 00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:14,834 Let's get set up here. 315 00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:19,934 Advil? 316 00:14:19,968 --> 00:14:21,767 Knee brace? 317 00:14:21,801 --> 00:14:24,133 Safety goggles? 318 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:25,400 At my age, 319 00:14:25,434 --> 00:14:28,100 I need the same equipment for racquetball and sex. 320 00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:30,767 Oh, what's this? 321 00:14:30,801 --> 00:14:32,300 Oh, Caitlin must have put that in there. 322 00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:33,667 It's a picture of me and my staff 323 00:14:33,701 --> 00:14:34,968 from my birthday dinner. 324 00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,467 Anyway... 325 00:14:38,501 --> 00:14:40,200 Let's get started. 326 00:14:40,234 --> 00:14:43,701 That advil ain't going to last forever. 327 00:14:50,734 --> 00:14:52,033 Ha ha. 328 00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:54,701 Did I tickle you? 329 00:14:54,734 --> 00:14:56,367 No, I was just thinking about the time 330 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,634 that the mayor wanted to close down a strip club 331 00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:01,901 and Stuart chained himself to the brass pole. 332 00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:04,567 Let's not talk about Stuart right now. 333 00:15:07,634 --> 00:15:09,634 If I remember correctly, 334 00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:11,868 he made 50 bucks in tips. 335 00:15:11,901 --> 00:15:13,667 Do you want to fool around, 336 00:15:13,701 --> 00:15:16,367 or do you want to talk about your friends all night? 337 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,534 You're right. 338 00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:19,701 You deserve my full attention. 339 00:15:22,434 --> 00:15:25,767 Ooh. That's better. 340 00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:26,767 Ha ha ha. 341 00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:27,968 Now what? 342 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,467 I'm just thinking about the time 343 00:15:29,501 --> 00:15:31,467 that Paul tried to breed pigeons. 344 00:15:31,501 --> 00:15:34,300 Okay. What's going on? 345 00:15:36,834 --> 00:15:40,334 I'm sorry. My mind is somewhere else right now. 346 00:15:40,367 --> 00:15:42,334 Well, you're sort of freaking me out. 347 00:15:42,367 --> 00:15:44,400 You're freaked out? We're about to have sex, 348 00:15:44,434 --> 00:15:47,067 and all I can think about is Paul. 349 00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:49,434 Where are you going? 350 00:15:49,467 --> 00:15:52,434 I need to be with those guys right now. 351 00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:55,300 Charlie, you don't really want to walk out that door. 352 00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:57,567 You think you know me, but you don't. 353 00:15:57,601 --> 00:15:59,501 You don't know what makes me tick. 354 00:16:05,801 --> 00:16:10,334 That's a very good guess. 355 00:16:16,634 --> 00:16:18,634 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 356 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,434 [LAUGHING] 357 00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:23,767 Hey, it worked. 358 00:16:23,801 --> 00:16:25,567 Did you do this? We may have to leave the place, 359 00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:28,133 but it doesn't mean we have to make it easy on the new guys. 360 00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,734 I krazy glued some phones, 361 00:16:29,767 --> 00:16:31,534 took some keys off a few keyboards. 362 00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:32,968 Pretty good stuff, huh? 363 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,901 You realize we still have to work here 364 00:16:34,934 --> 00:16:36,267 for a few more weeks. 365 00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,300 Really? 366 00:16:38,467 --> 00:16:41,167 Don't drink the coffee. 367 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,033 Well... 368 00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:44,601 I can't believe this is it. 369 00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:46,968 Wonder where we'll all be in a year. 370 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,300 I know where I'll be... 371 00:16:48,334 --> 00:16:50,834 out of politics, living in Vermont. 372 00:16:50,868 --> 00:16:54,033 I'll settle down in a quiet little village, 373 00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:57,801 maybe buy an old rundown cabin, 374 00:16:57,834 --> 00:17:00,767 and I'll fix it up with my own hands 375 00:17:00,801 --> 00:17:03,868 and convert it into an adult bookstore. 376 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:06,534 Wonder what I'll be doing. 377 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,300 Probably working a 9:00 to 5:00 job, 378 00:17:08,334 --> 00:17:11,267 making a midlevel salary with little hope of promotion. 379 00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:13,667 Really? Thanks, Carter. 380 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:15,701 Ugh! 381 00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:17,367 Oh, this coffee is weak. 382 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,267 Ha ha. Gotcha. 383 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:22,400 All right, everybody, let's grab a glass. 384 00:17:22,434 --> 00:17:23,767 Where's Charlie? 385 00:17:23,801 --> 00:17:27,434 Oh, um, he had a personal thing he couldn't get out of. 386 00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:28,868 Oh, that's too bad. 387 00:17:28,901 --> 00:17:33,367 Well, our time here is coming to an end, 388 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,567 but the good news is 389 00:17:34,601 --> 00:17:36,868 now we can start making some real money. 390 00:17:36,901 --> 00:17:39,267 I mean, I don't know what your publishers are telling you, 391 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:41,567 but I'm looking at a 7-figure book deal. 392 00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:44,200 Thanks, sir. I'll remember that 393 00:17:44,234 --> 00:17:46,033 when they're repossessing my television. 394 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,167 You know, in our time here, 395 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,767 we have given the citizens of New York 396 00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:54,934 less crime, cleaner streets, and much better quality of life, 397 00:17:54,968 --> 00:17:58,701 but when I look back on this administration, 398 00:17:58,734 --> 00:18:01,834 the thing that I'm going to miss the most 399 00:18:01,868 --> 00:18:04,033 is working with all of you. 400 00:18:06,834 --> 00:18:08,334 Hold on, sir. 401 00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:10,234 Something's going on. 402 00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:12,400 In a surprising turn of events, 403 00:18:12,434 --> 00:18:14,033 the pro-Wheeler district of Chinatown 404 00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:16,334 has seen a sudden surge of votes for Winston. 405 00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:18,801 In fact, the mayor has become so popular there, 406 00:18:18,834 --> 00:18:22,234 they've decided to name a new community center after him. 407 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:25,067 Why do they like you so much in Chinatown? 408 00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:29,000 They're obviously responding to my strong leadership. 409 00:18:29,033 --> 00:18:30,367 Sir... 410 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,601 Is that little girl holding your 4-carat engagement ring? 411 00:18:34,634 --> 00:18:38,601 Oh, my God! It's so beautiful! 412 00:18:38,634 --> 00:18:40,267 Leadership, $100,000 ring... 413 00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:42,367 who cares what they're responding to? 414 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,767 The point is, I'm their guy. 415 00:18:44,801 --> 00:18:46,701 There you have it. In a nail-biter of an election, 416 00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:49,100 Randall Winston is re-elected mayor. 417 00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:52,234 [ALL CHEERING] 418 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,434 Mayor Winston, would you care to comment 419 00:19:00,467 --> 00:19:02,267 on your amazing comeback? 420 00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:04,234 Sorry, the mayor doesn't have anything prepared. 421 00:19:04,267 --> 00:19:05,701 Oh, no, I've done this a million times. 422 00:19:05,734 --> 00:19:07,100 I can handle this. 423 00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:09,000 Sorry, I don't have anything prepared. 424 00:19:09,033 --> 00:19:11,467 [ALL LAUGHING] 425 00:19:14,601 --> 00:19:15,801 Hey, Charlie, did you hear? 426 00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:18,000 Wait, wait, wait. 427 00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:19,567 I have something I want to say. 428 00:19:19,601 --> 00:19:21,767 But, Charlie... Carter, please. 429 00:19:21,801 --> 00:19:23,367 I need to get this out. 430 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,300 Usually when a job ends, 431 00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:28,067 I just take off without saying goodbye. 432 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,367 No, no, Charlie, what... sir, please. I'm sorry. 433 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,000 But you people are... 434 00:19:33,033 --> 00:19:34,767 you're too important to me. 435 00:19:34,801 --> 00:19:36,667 Let's get this. 436 00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:38,634 And since we're not going to be seeing each other 437 00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:40,734 much longer, I want you all to know how I feel. 438 00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:42,901 We should tell him. 439 00:19:42,934 --> 00:19:45,367 My parents... they never encouraged me 440 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,667 to express myself emotionally. 441 00:19:47,701 --> 00:19:50,634 Never mind. 442 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,000 I don't want to be that guy anymore. 443 00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:55,067 If I ran out on you tonight, 444 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:57,167 it's because I couldn't stand the thought of losing you. 445 00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:01,267 Bottom line, I... 446 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,634 I, uh... 447 00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:06,133 CARTER: Go ahead, Charlie. You can say it. 448 00:20:06,167 --> 00:20:07,501 I love you guys. 449 00:20:07,534 --> 00:20:10,033 There. 450 00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:12,534 I said it. 451 00:20:12,567 --> 00:20:14,400 It wasn't easy, 452 00:20:14,434 --> 00:20:16,033 but you're the only people in the world 453 00:20:16,067 --> 00:20:17,634 I'd be comfortable enough to say that in front of. 454 00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:22,534 Do you guys have any idea how much you mean to me? 455 00:20:22,567 --> 00:20:25,501 Earlier tonight, I was in bed with a beautiful woman, 456 00:20:25,534 --> 00:20:30,133 and all I could think about was this guy. 457 00:20:30,167 --> 00:20:31,634 Thanks, buddy. 458 00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,701 [ALL LAUGHING] 459 00:20:33,734 --> 00:20:36,133 Charlie, we won. 460 00:20:37,868 --> 00:20:39,067 We won? 461 00:20:40,534 --> 00:20:43,701 Okay, nothing I said leaves this room. 462 00:20:43,734 --> 00:20:45,667 It's a little late for that. 463 00:20:48,868 --> 00:20:51,167 I hate you guys. 464 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,434 [ALL LAUGH] 465 00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:11,334 [TELEPHONE BUZZES] 466 00:21:14,801 --> 00:21:16,767 Ha ha! Gotcha! 467 00:21:22,467 --> 00:21:23,634 Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog. 468 00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:24,868 (BARKING) 469 00:21:24,901 --> 00:21:27,400 Moo.33060

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