Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:04,033
I called your adoption agency
because I realized that,
2
00:00:04,067 --> 00:00:06,434
while I'm professionally
successful,
3
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:08,534
personally,
something's missing.
4
00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:10,934
I have a lot of love
to give,
5
00:00:10,968 --> 00:00:13,234
and I know that I would make
a good and decent father.
6
00:00:13,267 --> 00:00:14,868
That's beautiful.
7
00:00:14,901 --> 00:00:18,200
But all I asked was
your date of birth.
8
00:00:18,234 --> 00:00:20,601
Sorry.
9
00:00:20,634 --> 00:00:23,868
I'm... A little nervous.
[LAUGHS]
10
00:00:23,901 --> 00:00:25,501
I don't think
he's doing well.
11
00:00:25,534 --> 00:00:26,767
We've gotta do something.
12
00:00:26,801 --> 00:00:28,667
Next question...
is your...
13
00:00:28,701 --> 00:00:30,067
oh, sorry to interrupt.
14
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:32,334
Carter, thanks for writing
the speech.
15
00:00:32,367 --> 00:00:34,367
You're a very thoughtful,
16
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,067
intelligent,
responsib person.
17
00:00:38,634 --> 00:00:39,934
Thank you, Caitlin.
18
00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:42,400
[DOOR CLOSES]
19
00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:44,667
Sorry about that.
Uh, please continue.
20
00:00:44,701 --> 00:00:46,000
Carter...
21
00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:48,934
Great job on
that budget report.
22
00:00:48,968 --> 00:00:51,467
It was very... Loving
and fathering.
23
00:00:53,434 --> 00:00:55,801
Uh, again, I'm sorry.
They're my friends.
24
00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:57,467
They're just trying to help.
25
00:00:57,501 --> 00:01:00,801
Oh, there you are, Carter.
26
00:01:00,834 --> 00:01:02,601
I wanted to thank you
27
00:01:02,634 --> 00:01:05,801
for taking me
to that baseball game,
28
00:01:05,834 --> 00:01:07,367
buying me a hot dog,
29
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,901
and giving me that talk about
the birds and the bees.
30
00:01:13,801 --> 00:01:16,968
Carter, you're the greatest.
31
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,634
[DOOR CLOSES]
32
00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:20,801
That story was a bit much.
33
00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:25,834
Actually,
that one really happened.
34
00:01:50,834 --> 00:01:53,734
Sir, the latest election polls
are in.
35
00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:54,901
Oh, excellent.
36
00:01:54,934 --> 00:01:57,968
I'm beating Wheeler by 19%
among young adults,
37
00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,968
14% among women...
heh heh.
38
00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:03,801
I'm down 6% with seniors.
39
00:02:03,834 --> 00:02:07,634
What do those geezers have
against me?
40
00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:09,434
It's a mystery, sir.
41
00:02:09,467 --> 00:02:11,834
Oh, guys, guys...
Wheeler's new campaign ad.
42
00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:13,501
I'm Julian Wheeler,
43
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:16,300
and I believe in protectingthe environment.
44
00:02:16,334 --> 00:02:17,601
What about Winston?
45
00:02:19,534 --> 00:02:22,834
I believe that technologyis the future.
46
00:02:22,868 --> 00:02:25,000
What about Winston?
47
00:02:25,033 --> 00:02:26,334
[BEEPING]
48
00:02:29,234 --> 00:02:33,400
And I believe in old-fashionedfamily values.
49
00:02:33,434 --> 00:02:36,434
What about Winston?
50
00:02:39,434 --> 00:02:42,400
For a better New York,
51
00:02:42,434 --> 00:02:44,067
vote Wheeler.
52
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:49,868
Bravo, sir.
You looked great.
53
00:02:49,901 --> 00:02:51,868
Sir...
54
00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:53,667
My gut says we retaliate.
55
00:02:53,701 --> 00:02:55,801
He attacks us,
we attack him.
56
00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:58,834
Let's hit him back
with everything we got.
57
00:02:58,868 --> 00:03:00,667
Thank you, Sonny corleone.
58
00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:02,634
Sir, focus-group research
indicates
59
00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:05,834
that voters prefer politicians
who stay positive
60
00:03:05,868 --> 00:03:07,400
and stick to the issues.
61
00:03:07,434 --> 00:03:09,701
Thank you, Brenda Miller.
62
00:03:09,734 --> 00:03:11,267
Who's Brenda Miller?
63
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:14,734
Some brainy girl I used to cheat
off in high school.
64
00:03:14,767 --> 00:03:16,400
You know, sir...
65
00:03:16,434 --> 00:03:19,868
We could always hit them
with some snaps.
66
00:03:19,901 --> 00:03:21,701
Snaps?
Witty remarks,
67
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:25,934
like "Wheeler's mama
is so fat...
68
00:03:25,968 --> 00:03:31,200
When she hauls ass,
she has to make two trips."
69
00:03:32,934 --> 00:03:36,000
Well, I've heard some
compelling arguments.
70
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:39,200
I prefer to run my campaign
on issues, not on insults.
71
00:03:39,234 --> 00:03:41,567
So I'm gonna go with Caitlin
on this one.
72
00:03:41,601 --> 00:03:42,801
Thank you, sir.
73
00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:45,467
In fact, I've decided to choose
one of you
74
00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:48,434
to be the point person
for all campaign strategies.
75
00:03:48,467 --> 00:03:51,100
Well, thank you, sir.
I'm honored.
76
00:03:51,133 --> 00:03:53,434
Since Caitlin has the most
campaign experience,
77
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,567
I'm choosing her.
78
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:55,801
Good call, sir.
79
00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:04,634
Well, the adoption agency
says I'm still number 3,000
80
00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:06,100
on the waiting list.
81
00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:08,834
At this rate, I'll have a baby
when I'm 87.
82
00:04:08,868 --> 00:04:11,968
I'll be too old to teach him
how to throw a baseball.
83
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,133
On the upside, you have
50 years to learn yourself.
84
00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:18,467
Guess who.
85
00:04:18,501 --> 00:04:20,200
Chanel no. 5...
86
00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:22,634
Lavender hand cream...
87
00:04:22,667 --> 00:04:24,467
Brian?
88
00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:27,133
Carter!
You know it's me.
89
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,667
I can't believe you're here!
90
00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:31,067
Michelle, what are you doing
in town?
91
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:33,300
Carter told me everything
he was going through
92
00:04:33,334 --> 00:04:34,434
trying to adopt.
93
00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:36,200
I knew he was upset,
so here I am.
94
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,133
We've always been there
for each other.
95
00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,634
Even in high school, Carter was
there to cheer me up
96
00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:43,167
when I got dumped by the captain
of the football team.
97
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,834
And Michelle gave me a shoulder
to cry on when he dumped me.
98
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,868
Hello, Michelle.
99
00:04:50,901 --> 00:04:53,200
It's so very nice to see you
again.
100
00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:55,167
As always, you look lovely.
101
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,334
Thank you, Stuart.
102
00:04:56,367 --> 00:04:58,133
You are so sweet.
103
00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:03,267
What do you say
we go get some lunch?
104
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,167
Great idea.
See you guys later.
105
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,701
Goodbye, Michelle.
It was lovely seeing you.
106
00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:11,667
Have a lovely afternoon.
107
00:05:11,701 --> 00:05:15,267
So, how long have you had
a crush on Michelle?
108
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:16,834
What are you talking about?
109
00:05:16,868 --> 00:05:19,000
I just think it was lovely
110
00:05:19,033 --> 00:05:21,667
the way you said
she was lovely.
111
00:05:21,701 --> 00:05:22,901
Stop it.
112
00:05:22,934 --> 00:05:25,701
Lovely, lovely, lovely,
lovely.
113
00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:27,567
You don't know
what you're talking about.
114
00:05:27,601 --> 00:05:29,200
Now, if you'll excuse me,
115
00:05:29,234 --> 00:05:31,868
Mr. Jerry Flynn,
the king of porn,
116
00:05:31,901 --> 00:05:33,701
is doing a video signing.
117
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,634
You really want to see
the king of porn?
118
00:05:40,033 --> 00:05:42,567
What's happening to me?
119
00:05:42,601 --> 00:05:44,868
You like Michelle.
Why don't you tell her?
120
00:05:44,901 --> 00:05:47,367
I can't. I get near her,
I can barely talk.
121
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,567
Maybe Carter could talk to her
for you.
122
00:05:49,601 --> 00:05:51,167
Oh, Carter can't know.
123
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,067
He'll either disapprove,
or worse...
124
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:57,868
get emotionally supportive.
125
00:06:00,934 --> 00:06:03,467
Okay, I've just called
Wheeler's headquarters,
126
00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:05,868
and I've set up a sit-down
meeting with him.
127
00:06:05,901 --> 00:06:07,934
We'll get him in a room,
liquor him up,
128
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:12,267
make him spill some secrets,
and ruin his campaign.
129
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:15,501
No, we're gonna sit down,
air out our differences,
130
00:06:15,534 --> 00:06:17,100
and establish ground rules.
131
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:20,267
Then we'll liquor him up
and ruin his campaign.
132
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:25,133
No. We should be beating
this guy into the dirt.
133
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,267
You need to pull back
on the testosterone.
134
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,934
You need to pull back
on the...
135
00:06:29,968 --> 00:06:32,567
what is that stuff
chicks have?
136
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,234
There's a reason the mayor made
me the point person.
137
00:06:35,267 --> 00:06:38,300
I've run successful campaigns,
and this is how I do it.
138
00:06:38,334 --> 00:06:39,934
Whatever.
139
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,300
Oh, I see what
this is about.
140
00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:47,734
You're upset that the mayor
chose me over you.
141
00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:49,367
He made the call.
I'm fine with it.
142
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,534
There's a lot more going on in
your head than you let on.
143
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:54,701
Like right now,
what are you thinking?
144
00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:55,767
Right now.
145
00:06:55,801 --> 00:07:00,234
Those dancing hot dogs
from the...
146
00:07:02,434 --> 00:07:05,234
..."let's all go to the lobby"
end movie song.
147
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,334
Why do I bother?
148
00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:12,067
* let's all go to the lobby...
149
00:07:21,834 --> 00:07:23,634
Hi, Stuart.
150
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:25,200
Oh, hey, Michelle.
151
00:07:25,234 --> 00:07:26,634
Where's Carter?
152
00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:27,868
He went out for a while.
153
00:07:27,901 --> 00:07:29,767
I'm having a beer.
I'll get you one.
154
00:07:29,801 --> 00:07:32,367
That would be... Glorious.
155
00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:36,434
"Glorious"?
156
00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:40,000
All right, calm down.
You can do this.
157
00:07:40,033 --> 00:07:43,067
Don't freak out.
You're the man.
158
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,801
You're freaking out.
159
00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:48,467
You're not the man.
160
00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:52,834
Here you go.
161
00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:57,601
Stuart?
162
00:07:57,634 --> 00:07:59,434
Are you trying to say
something?
163
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:01,501
I've really liked you
for a long time,
164
00:08:01,534 --> 00:08:03,534
and I would love to go out
with you.
165
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,968
I don't know
what to say.
166
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:09,067
I always imagined you saying,
"are you kidding?
167
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,300
I want nothing to do
with you."
168
00:08:11,334 --> 00:08:13,868
Oh, and then you laugh.
169
00:08:13,901 --> 00:08:15,701
I would love
to go out with you.
170
00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:17,567
Why?
I mean, cool.
171
00:08:19,267 --> 00:08:20,734
No, "why" was right.
172
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,200
Remember two christmases ago
173
00:08:22,234 --> 00:08:24,434
when Carter dragged us
to rockefeller center
174
00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:27,334
to watch that figure-skating show?
Yeah, it was freezing.
175
00:08:27,367 --> 00:08:29,467
And you gave me
your mittens.
176
00:08:29,501 --> 00:08:31,634
That's when I knew
I liked you.
177
00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,801
Why didn't you tell me?
178
00:08:33,834 --> 00:08:35,767
You're always so proper
around me.
179
00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:37,467
"You look so lovely."
180
00:08:37,501 --> 00:08:39,234
"It's lovely to see you."
181
00:08:39,267 --> 00:08:41,367
I mean, when I a guy likes
a girl,
182
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,200
you're supposed to say,
"baby, I wanna get with you."
183
00:08:44,234 --> 00:08:47,400
That was what was
in my heart.
184
00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:54,334
Wheeler's 20 minutes late.
He'll be here, sir.
185
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,901
Then we'll work out a solution
to these personal attacks.
186
00:08:57,934 --> 00:08:59,067
If this doesn't work,
187
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:02,133
we could always bake him
some cookies.
188
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,200
I need a drink.
189
00:09:04,234 --> 00:09:05,400
Excuse me.
190
00:09:08,968 --> 00:09:12,067
You know, you could try to be
a little more supportive.
191
00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:13,567
I'm here, aren't I?
192
00:09:13,601 --> 00:09:15,934
If you expect me
to be your cheerleader...
193
00:09:15,968 --> 00:09:18,100
who's that guy sitting
with the mayor?
194
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:19,934
I don't know.
195
00:09:19,968 --> 00:09:21,701
Wait. That's Jerry Flynn.
196
00:09:21,734 --> 00:09:24,334
He's, like, the city's king
of porn.
197
00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:25,601
We're being set up.
198
00:09:25,634 --> 00:09:27,367
Thanks, Mr. mayor.
199
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,934
Oh, by the way...
200
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,601
Mr. Wheeler will not be able
to make it.
201
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,968
He's gone way too far
this time.
202
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,667
I'll say...
Wheeler should've called
203
00:09:38,701 --> 00:09:41,734
if he knew
he was gonna cancel.
204
00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:44,300
This is exactly
what I've been waiting for.
205
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,067
Why didn't you tell me
you liked me?
206
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:48,100
We could've been doing this
a long time ago.
207
00:09:48,133 --> 00:09:49,968
We have been...
In my mind.
208
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,434
You want to see what we've been
doing in my mind?
209
00:09:57,601 --> 00:09:58,934
Oh! Michelle...
210
00:09:58,968 --> 00:10:00,701
Good. You're here.
211
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:03,267
There's something I want to talk
to you about.
212
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:06,067
Actually, there's something
I want to talk to you about.
213
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,601
Me first. You know how much
I want to have a child.
214
00:10:08,634 --> 00:10:10,567
And adoption will take
forever.
215
00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:14,267
So I decided
that the best thing to do be
216
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,334
would be get a surrogate.
217
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:17,901
Carter,
that's a great idea.
218
00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:19,434
I'm glad you think so,
219
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:22,634
because I was hoping maybe you'd
consider doing it.
220
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:25,000
Wow!
221
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:28,133
I'm touched
that you would ask.
222
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:29,868
But, well,
I-it's complicated.
223
00:10:29,901 --> 00:10:31,868
I understand... you live
in a different city,
224
00:10:31,901 --> 00:10:34,000
it's a huge commitment,
it could affect our friendship,
225
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,334
Stuart's arm is around
your waist.
226
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:39,167
Why is Stuart's arm
around your waist?
227
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,467
Michelle and I are...
228
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:43,234
what are we?
229
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,801
Well, I-I guess
we're dating.
230
00:10:45,834 --> 00:10:47,901
You're dating Stuart?
231
00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:49,667
Why?
232
00:10:49,701 --> 00:10:52,601
I asked her
the same question.
233
00:10:52,634 --> 00:10:56,634
Carter, I'm gonna seriously
consider what you've asked me,
234
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:58,901
but, um...
235
00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:01,334
I feel like Stuart and I have
started something
236
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,067
that could really be
special,
237
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,868
so I want to make sure
that he's comfortable with it.
238
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,868
Well?
239
00:11:09,901 --> 00:11:11,167
Am I comfortable
240
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,200
with Carter impregnating
my new girlfriend?
241
00:11:15,434 --> 00:11:17,567
No.
242
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:26,734
Have you seen
the headlines...
243
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:28,934
"mayor dines
with smut king"?
244
00:11:28,968 --> 00:11:32,767
"Winston's breast buddy"?
245
00:11:32,801 --> 00:11:36,334
"Winston... a porn leader."
246
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:38,100
What paper was that in?
247
00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:41,334
None. I just thought
it was kind of funny.
248
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,100
Well, it's not.
249
00:11:46,534 --> 00:11:48,334
We have tried to take
the high road,
250
00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:49,834
but Wheeler has gone
too far.
251
00:11:49,868 --> 00:11:52,400
If you think it's time to go
after this guy, we're ready.
252
00:11:52,434 --> 00:11:54,100
I have never lost an election,
253
00:11:54,133 --> 00:11:56,601
and I'm sure as hell
not gonna lose one now.
254
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,567
I'll admit, I was wrong
about Wheeler.
255
00:12:02,601 --> 00:12:04,868
He's a lowlife.
So what do we do now?
256
00:12:04,901 --> 00:12:07,334
Stuart's checking his tax
history with the I.R.S.,
257
00:12:07,367 --> 00:12:09,434
and Carter's looking for any
criminal record.
258
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:12,033
Maybe one night, he got into a
drunken bar fight,
259
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:14,300
stole a car, and drove
into the Hudson river.
260
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,067
That's my story.
261
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:20,934
It sounded familiar
as I was saying it.
262
00:12:20,968 --> 00:12:23,400
Hey, guys,
a buddy of mine says
263
00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:25,334
Wheeler's been showing up at his
apartment building
264
00:12:25,367 --> 00:12:26,701
with some little chippy.
265
00:12:26,734 --> 00:12:28,801
I can't believe he has a woman
on the side.
266
00:12:28,834 --> 00:12:30,701
That's what a chippy is?
267
00:12:31,934 --> 00:12:34,334
Wow! That's even better!
268
00:12:35,467 --> 00:12:38,400
This is huge.
He's got a wife and four kids.
269
00:12:38,434 --> 00:12:41,501
I'm not sure this sex scandal
is the way to go.
270
00:12:41,534 --> 00:12:44,767
This guy's whole platform is
about family values.
271
00:12:44,801 --> 00:12:46,834
I know, but we don't have
any proof.
272
00:12:46,868 --> 00:12:48,167
Then we'll get some.
273
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,567
We'll stake out his building
and take some pictures.
274
00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:53,234
Maybe we'll catch him drunk
in a rooftop pool,
275
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:57,067
playing naked Marco polo with
a lonely divorcée from 3-g.
276
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,901
I gotta stop telling you
my stories.
277
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,901
Real nice, Carter.
278
00:13:14,934 --> 00:13:17,067
You show no class.
279
00:13:19,501 --> 00:13:21,133
You know, I can't believe
280
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,901
Michelle is listening
to the opinion of man
281
00:13:23,934 --> 00:13:26,334
whose Internet name
is "boob monger."
282
00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:28,834
Well, she is,
and for the last time,
283
00:13:28,868 --> 00:13:31,434
it's "boob meister."
When are you gonna grow up?
284
00:13:31,467 --> 00:13:34,868
When are you gonna stop being
a pompous jerk?
285
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:37,467
Guys, come on,
you've been at it all day.
286
00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:40,100
Now, the three of us,
we're gonna sit down,
287
00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:42,501
and nobody's leaving
until we fix this.
288
00:13:42,534 --> 00:13:45,200
Okay. What's going on?
289
00:13:45,234 --> 00:13:47,801
I just started to date
Carter's best friend,
290
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:50,234
and now he wants her to carry
his gay baby.
291
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,701
You guys will work it out.
292
00:13:57,734 --> 00:14:00,534
You know what?
I hope you're happy.
293
00:14:00,567 --> 00:14:03,634
You know how much
I want to have a child,
294
00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:06,300
and Michelle is the only person
I'd want to be my surrogate.
295
00:14:06,334 --> 00:14:07,868
You can still adopt.
296
00:14:07,901 --> 00:14:09,901
The waiting list for a new baby
is two years!
297
00:14:09,934 --> 00:14:12,634
By that time, Rosie O'Donnell
will have taken the good ones!
298
00:14:14,701 --> 00:14:17,267
Have you thought about what
Michelle might mean to me?
299
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,934
She could be the greatest thing
that's happened in my life.
300
00:14:19,968 --> 00:14:21,734
But instead of being happy
for me,
301
00:14:21,767 --> 00:14:23,667
all you think about
is how it affects you.
302
00:14:23,701 --> 00:14:25,234
Yeah? Well...
303
00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:27,367
at least I don't eat food
out of the garbage.
304
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,934
It was one
unpeeled tangerine!
305
00:14:31,968 --> 00:14:35,801
Would you let it go?!
306
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,033
So I guess you're not on board
for Carter's baby plan, huh?
307
00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:43,467
For once, he's being petty
and selfish.
308
00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:45,868
I thought about this,
and I know I'm right.
309
00:14:45,901 --> 00:14:47,801
Well, I'm sure you are.
310
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,634
Although you may want to ask
yourself
311
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:53,234
what if you and Michelle
don't work out?
312
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:56,200
Is that worth risking
your friendship with Carter?
313
00:14:56,234 --> 00:14:58,701
On the other hand,
it may work out.
314
00:14:58,734 --> 00:15:01,601
What if you and Michelle are
together forever?
315
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,968
Isn't nine months a small
sacrifice
316
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,367
if you can give your best friend
immeasurable happiness?
317
00:15:09,234 --> 00:15:11,701
Well, I'm sure you've thought
of all the angles.
318
00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:13,534
All these years,
319
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:18,434
and you choose this moment to
start making sense.
320
00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:22,067
I pick my spots,
boob meister.
321
00:15:29,267 --> 00:15:31,400
You ever been on a stakeout
before?
322
00:15:31,434 --> 00:15:33,567
Not on this end.
323
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,868
This is a waste of time.
324
00:15:36,901 --> 00:15:39,601
If we get out of here now,
I could still make my date.
325
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,400
You have a date tonight?
326
00:15:41,434 --> 00:15:43,334
We got the van.
327
00:15:44,767 --> 00:15:47,400
Wait.
328
00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:49,334
Chippy... 3:00.
329
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:52,968
He's got his arm around her,
and they're kissing.
330
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,734
Ah! You are so busted.
331
00:15:54,767 --> 00:15:57,701
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
332
00:15:57,734 --> 00:15:59,601
You know what?
This is wrong.
333
00:15:59,634 --> 00:16:02,567
If we go public with this, we'll
be coming down to his level.
334
00:16:02,601 --> 00:16:05,234
I say, "run a positive
campaign," you're against it.
335
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:08,767
Now I'm ready to go negative, and you're
against that? What's your problem?
336
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,434
I'm a complicated dude.
337
00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:13,267
You can't handle taking orders
from me.
338
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:14,934
That's not true.
339
00:16:14,968 --> 00:16:17,434
You're not in control,
so you're undermining me.
340
00:16:17,467 --> 00:16:19,601
Why else would you want to
protect this jerk?
341
00:16:19,634 --> 00:16:21,601
Because he's got kids,
okay?
342
00:16:22,968 --> 00:16:25,601
Look, when I was growing up,
I idolized my father.
343
00:16:25,634 --> 00:16:28,100
Once day, me and some friends,
we skipped school,
344
00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:30,067
and we were hanging out
in the city,
345
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:32,968
and I saw him coming out of
a hotel, kissing another woman.
346
00:16:34,701 --> 00:16:36,334
I never told anyone about it,
347
00:16:36,367 --> 00:16:38,868
and I never looked at him
the same way again.
348
00:16:38,901 --> 00:16:40,200
I know Wheeler's a sleaze,
349
00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:42,667
but I don't want his kids to
find out because of me.
350
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:46,467
You've held on to this pain
for so long.
351
00:16:46,501 --> 00:16:48,467
Go ahead. Let it out.
352
00:16:48,501 --> 00:16:50,801
It's out.
353
00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:52,501
That explains so much.
354
00:16:52,534 --> 00:16:56,400
I mean, do you think that's why
you're with so many women?
355
00:16:56,434 --> 00:16:59,334
No, I just really like sex.
356
00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:04,067
These pictures might be enough
to give us the election.
357
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:06,167
I'll leave it up to you.
358
00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:16,000
I want you to know that I was
a psych minor in college,
359
00:17:16,033 --> 00:17:18,133
and if you ever
want to sift through
360
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,501
your repressed feelings
about your father...
361
00:17:20,534 --> 00:17:22,267
Charlie!
362
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,000
Hey, Stuart.
363
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:36,067
I was, uh, thinking about
what you said,
364
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,767
and you're right.
365
00:17:37,801 --> 00:17:40,868
So you're gonna stop wearing
those red leather pants?
366
00:17:40,901 --> 00:17:43,601
I was so busy thinking about
my own problems,
367
00:17:43,634 --> 00:17:46,000
I couldn't see
how much this meant to you.
368
00:17:46,033 --> 00:17:48,300
I'm really happy you found
each other.
369
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:50,200
Really?
370
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:51,767
Yeah.
She's an amazing woman.
371
00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:53,400
She's way out
of your league.
372
00:17:53,434 --> 00:17:56,000
My mother said
the same thing.
373
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,367
What are those?
374
00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,000
I've decided to search
for a new surrogate.
375
00:18:00,033 --> 00:18:03,033
I've divided them into three
separate categories...
376
00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:05,067
professionals, artists...
377
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:07,400
what are those?
Bad fashion sense.
378
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,567
Hey, guys.
379
00:18:09,601 --> 00:18:11,033
Hey, Michelle.
380
00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:12,901
Carter,
I want you to know
381
00:18:12,934 --> 00:18:16,033
I've been up all night
thinking about your proposal.
382
00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:19,734
It's a huge commitment,
both physically and emotionally.
383
00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:23,167
I'll probably be moody
all the time.
384
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,534
I'll be sick every morning.
385
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,801
My breasts will get huge.
386
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,400
There are a million reasons
why I shouldn't do this.
387
00:18:34,601 --> 00:18:36,133
But I want to anyway.
388
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:38,334
Why?
389
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,601
I can't think of anyone
390
00:18:39,634 --> 00:18:41,968
who deserves to be a father
more than you do.
391
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,968
And helping you get there
could be
392
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,534
one of the most important things
I ever do in my life.
393
00:18:47,567 --> 00:18:49,300
You okay with that,
Stuart?
394
00:18:49,334 --> 00:18:50,801
Well, I thought about it,
395
00:18:50,834 --> 00:18:53,367
and if anybody has to knock up
my girlfriend,
396
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,267
I want it to be
my gay roommate.
397
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:59,033
You know...
In a strange way,
398
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:02,000
that's beautiful.
399
00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:09,133
Charlie...
400
00:19:09,167 --> 00:19:10,434
You look terrible.
401
00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:12,267
I was out late with Mandy.
402
00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:15,067
I'm too old to be
fooling around in vans.
403
00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:19,200
I'm not 29 anymore.
404
00:19:19,234 --> 00:19:20,567
Here are the pictures.
405
00:19:20,601 --> 00:19:22,667
Have you decided
what you want to do?
406
00:19:22,701 --> 00:19:25,701
No. I keep going back
and forth.
407
00:19:25,734 --> 00:19:26,734
[DOOR OPENS]
408
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:28,968
So, Crawford...
409
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,634
I understand you have
some pictures.
410
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,968
What do you plan to do
with them?
411
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,367
I'll tell you what I plan
to do with them.
412
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,234
I'm gonna send them
to the papers
413
00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:40,501
and watch you go down
in flames.
414
00:19:40,534 --> 00:19:42,634
Then we've got nothing
to talk about.
415
00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:44,767
Wait.
416
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:47,467
Why should I stoop
to your level?
417
00:19:47,501 --> 00:19:49,067
I'm not gonna use
the pictures.
418
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,400
Okay.
419
00:19:50,434 --> 00:19:53,234
On the other hand...
420
00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:55,534
I'd do anything
to get Winston re-elected.
421
00:19:55,567 --> 00:19:58,534
Then again, this is not how I
want to do it.
422
00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:01,200
I'm lost. Are we using
the pictures or not?
423
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,501
I don't know.
424
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,701
I think I worked myself
into a corner.
425
00:20:04,734 --> 00:20:06,868
How am I losing
to you guys?
426
00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:12,000
You've got kids, and they don't
need to know about this,
427
00:20:12,033 --> 00:20:14,968
so I'm not using
the pictures.
428
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,200
But...
Oh, jeez!
429
00:20:18,234 --> 00:20:19,734
I'm not giving them to you
either.
430
00:20:19,767 --> 00:20:22,701
If you take any more shots
at the mayor...
431
00:20:22,734 --> 00:20:24,400
I will bury you.
432
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:26,100
Nice.
433
00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:27,901
When I win,
434
00:20:27,934 --> 00:20:31,434
there may be a place for you
in my administration.
435
00:20:31,467 --> 00:20:33,100
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
436
00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:36,834
I'm sorry I made this
so difficult.
437
00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:39,801
I never should have let
my... Personal issues
438
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:41,100
affect our work.
439
00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:43,000
It's refreshing to see you
like that.
440
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,033
On the outside, you have this
macho shell,
441
00:20:45,067 --> 00:20:46,701
and on the inside,
you have this...
442
00:20:46,734 --> 00:20:49,634
Creamy fruit filling?
443
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:52,334
Sensitive side.
444
00:20:52,367 --> 00:20:55,767
You have so many deep,
repressed issues.
445
00:20:55,801 --> 00:20:57,234
Let it out.
446
00:20:57,267 --> 00:20:59,767
It's out.
447
00:21:03,601 --> 00:21:04,901
What do you think?
448
00:21:04,934 --> 00:21:07,934
It's a very important debate.
We need something sharper.
449
00:21:07,968 --> 00:21:11,000
How about this...
"Wheeler's mama is so fat...
450
00:21:11,033 --> 00:21:15,734
...when she dances,
the radio station skips"?
451
00:21:15,767 --> 00:21:17,634
Doesn't quite pop,
does it?
452
00:21:18,901 --> 00:21:20,801
Here we go...
"Wheeler's mama's so fat,
453
00:21:20,834 --> 00:21:23,067
on Halloween,
she says 'trick or meatloaf.'"
454
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:28,601
snap.
455
00:21:28,634 --> 00:21:29,801
Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
456
00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:31,033
(BARKING)
457
00:21:31,067 --> 00:21:33,534
Moo.33430
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof