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1
00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:04,467
The mayor is announcing his bid
for re-election today,
2
00:00:04,501 --> 00:00:07,200
so I wouldn't be surprised if
Wheeler tried to upstage him.
3
00:00:07,234 --> 00:00:10,934
Charlie...
glad you could make it.
4
00:00:10,968 --> 00:00:13,300
We've already covered the
mayor's transportation proposal,
5
00:00:13,334 --> 00:00:15,200
as well as his appearance
6
00:00:15,234 --> 00:00:17,100
at yesterday's skeet-shooting
competition...
7
00:00:17,133 --> 00:00:20,634
And the subsequent apology
to news chopper 7.
8
00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:22,934
If you have any other
questions, ask Carter.
9
00:00:22,968 --> 00:00:24,467
Okay.
10
00:00:24,501 --> 00:00:27,434
Do I still work here?
11
00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:28,634
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
12
00:00:28,667 --> 00:00:30,968
Yello?
13
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,267
Hey, governor.
14
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,267
Nah, it's me.
It's Flaherty.
15
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:35,801
Oh, Crawford?
16
00:00:35,834 --> 00:00:40,100
Well, yeah, he didn't work out,
so we had to let him go.
17
00:00:40,133 --> 00:00:42,734
I'm just kidding you,
big guy.
18
00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:45,200
Good one.
19
00:00:45,234 --> 00:00:48,133
Okay, what the hell
is going on here?
20
00:00:48,167 --> 00:00:51,100
All I know is he cancels his
engagement, now he's here.
21
00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:54,167
We'll take your limo, but I'm
bringing the beers.
22
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:58,667
All right, sir. I'm gonna go
grab another cup of coffee.
23
00:00:58,701 --> 00:00:59,868
Hey, grab me a cup...
24
00:00:59,901 --> 00:01:01,534
remember, I like it
the way I like my women.
25
00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:04,567
I don't think we have
any 19-year-old coffee.
26
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:36,601
I'm sorry, but I'm not wearing
this thing.
27
00:01:37,801 --> 00:01:39,300
Sir, every mayor
for the last 30 years
28
00:01:39,334 --> 00:01:41,334
has dressed like a woman
for the "Broadway cares" gala.
29
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,601
I promise it will not damage
your public image.
30
00:01:43,634 --> 00:01:45,868
I don't care about that.
It makes my ass look fat.
31
00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:48,367
Actually, sir,
it might show the voters
32
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,767
you have a sense of humor
about yourself.
33
00:01:50,801 --> 00:01:52,200
Plus, with your long legs,
34
00:01:52,234 --> 00:01:53,434
no one's gonna be looking
at your ass.
35
00:01:53,467 --> 00:01:55,467
Speak for yourself.
36
00:01:56,868 --> 00:01:58,200
You've made an excuse
to get out of this every year,
37
00:01:58,234 --> 00:02:00,133
but this is an election year.
38
00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:01,767
I think you should do it.
39
00:02:01,801 --> 00:02:05,634
Maybe a string of pearls will
tie all this together.
40
00:02:07,534 --> 00:02:08,868
Okay, we've got to talk
41
00:02:08,901 --> 00:02:10,968
about what's going on between
Mike and Allison.
42
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,501
It's clear what's happening.
43
00:02:12,534 --> 00:02:13,968
He's a textbook workaholic
44
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,667
who can't make room in his life
for a real relationship.
45
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:18,501
Look, we've wasted enough
time here.
46
00:02:18,534 --> 00:02:20,868
I stayed late last night
preparing the mayor's plan
47
00:02:20,901 --> 00:02:23,234
for his re-election
announcement...
48
00:02:25,234 --> 00:02:27,534
Who erased my plan?
49
00:02:27,567 --> 00:02:30,467
I had to make up a new lineup
for tomorrow's softball game.
50
00:02:30,501 --> 00:02:33,033
This took me three hours...
51
00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:35,334
you got me on the bench?
52
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:38,334
I'm the starting shortstop.
53
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:41,167
I've never seen you hit.
54
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,501
Okay.
55
00:02:42,534 --> 00:02:45,334
I don't mean to pry, but why
aren't you getting married?
56
00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:47,234
You wouldn't understand.
57
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,767
You called off your engagement
58
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:50,767
because you're a textbook
workaholic
59
00:02:50,801 --> 00:02:53,167
who can't find a place in his
life for a relationship.
60
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,567
Not even close.
61
00:02:55,601 --> 00:03:01,467
Really, Charlie, please spare us
the dime-store psychology.
62
00:03:01,501 --> 00:03:03,667
Well, if it's not because of
work, why'd you call it off?
63
00:03:03,701 --> 00:03:05,634
I didn't.
64
00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:10,300
She left me.
65
00:03:10,334 --> 00:03:12,467
I got back to my hotel room,
66
00:03:12,501 --> 00:03:17,400
and there was a tear-stained
note on the minibar.
67
00:03:17,434 --> 00:03:19,133
"Dearest Mike,
68
00:03:19,167 --> 00:03:22,300
"I'm sorry, but I'm not ready
for this.
69
00:03:22,334 --> 00:03:24,434
"Our lives are different.
70
00:03:24,467 --> 00:03:28,868
I'll always love you."
71
00:03:28,901 --> 00:03:32,400
[VOICE BREAKING]
She walked off with my heart...
72
00:03:32,434 --> 00:03:35,133
And an $18 bag
of cheese puffs.
73
00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:39,667
You know, I'm sorry.
74
00:03:39,701 --> 00:03:42,234
I have work I got to do.
75
00:03:49,634 --> 00:03:51,868
Where did you get
this eye shadow?
76
00:03:51,901 --> 00:03:54,067
It makes me look
like a hooker.
77
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,400
It's mine.
78
00:03:56,434 --> 00:03:59,067
A classy hooker.
79
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:01,067
I-I don't think I can do this,
Caitlin.
80
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,601
It's so embarrassing.
81
00:04:02,634 --> 00:04:05,067
Sir, please.
It's for a good cause.
82
00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:07,234
Just let me finish.
83
00:04:07,267 --> 00:04:09,934
Hiya, Caitlin. Whoa.
84
00:04:11,901 --> 00:04:13,934
Who's your hot friend?
85
00:04:13,968 --> 00:04:16,767
I'm way out of your league,
Crawford.
86
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:19,934
What can I do for you?
87
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:23,267
Sir, we all love Mike.
Mm-hmm.
88
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,667
And it's fun
having him around.
89
00:04:25,701 --> 00:04:27,334
I was just wondering...
90
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:30,767
When will that fun
be ending?
91
00:04:30,801 --> 00:04:33,667
It occurred to me that having him around
might be a little awkward for you.
92
00:04:33,701 --> 00:04:36,534
But then I thought,
"Charlie knows he's my guy.
93
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,667
This wouldn't bother him."
94
00:04:38,701 --> 00:04:41,767
Good... Because it doesn't.
95
00:04:41,801 --> 00:04:43,634
Now that we've cleared
that up,
96
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:47,300
I came up with a new idea
for our campaign slogan.
97
00:04:47,334 --> 00:04:49,100
Oh, Mike thought
we should go with,
98
00:04:49,133 --> 00:04:50,834
"Winston...
2001 and beyond."
99
00:04:50,868 --> 00:04:52,968
I think it's brilliant.
100
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,601
I suggested that idea last week,
and you turned it down.
101
00:04:56,634 --> 00:04:58,801
Why the sudden change
of heart?
102
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:00,834
Well, perhaps I was swayed
by the fact
103
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,734
that I'm now the starting
shortstop for our softball team.
104
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:06,667
Wow.
Congratulations, sir.
105
00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:08,100
I got to go.
106
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,534
Okay, ready?
107
00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:11,100
Yeah.
108
00:05:11,133 --> 00:05:13,467
[SIGHS]
109
00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:18,534
What do you think?
110
00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:22,100
Good God, I'm beautiful.
111
00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:29,701
You okay?
112
00:05:29,734 --> 00:05:30,767
I'm fine.
113
00:05:30,801 --> 00:05:32,467
That waitress leaned over,
114
00:05:32,501 --> 00:05:34,367
and you didn't even notice
her breasts.
115
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,367
I saw them.
116
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,667
They're great.
117
00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:42,234
Ah, it's just this whole
Mike thing.
118
00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:44,000
Yeah, I feel bad for the guy,
119
00:05:44,033 --> 00:05:46,834
but he's really starting to step
on my toes.
120
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:49,601
If Mike tries to challenge your
authority, I got problems.
121
00:05:49,634 --> 00:05:52,033
Yeah, you won't know
whose ass to kiss.
122
00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:53,734
Exactly.
123
00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,300
Don't worry, Charlie.
124
00:05:55,334 --> 00:05:57,868
Mike's just in a bad place
right now. It'll pass.
125
00:05:57,901 --> 00:06:00,133
Stuart's right.
126
00:06:00,167 --> 00:06:03,467
Huh. That sounded weird.
127
00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:05,701
How can you be so worried about
Mike being in a bad place?
128
00:06:05,734 --> 00:06:08,601
What about me? It ever occur to
you I might have feelings?
129
00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:09,634
Do you?
130
00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:12,033
A couple.
131
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,634
How would you feel, Paul,
132
00:06:13,667 --> 00:06:16,501
if someone came to the office
and did your work for you?
133
00:06:17,734 --> 00:06:19,367
Bad example.
134
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,200
Charlie, don't take it
personally.
135
00:06:21,234 --> 00:06:23,100
We all know
you're the mayor's guy.
136
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,100
I guess you're right.
Mike can run a few meetings,
137
00:06:26,133 --> 00:06:28,968
but I'm gonna be standing with
the mayor on the podium
138
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,200
when he announces his bid
for re-election.
139
00:06:31,234 --> 00:06:33,200
I'm gonna be the one
raising his hand in the air
140
00:06:33,234 --> 00:06:35,868
as the thousands of balloons
I ordered
141
00:06:35,901 --> 00:06:37,400
fall on our heads.
142
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,000
I don't believe this.
143
00:06:46,033 --> 00:06:49,734
Charlie, you look a lot
different on TV.
144
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:00,033
We've got to talk.
145
00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:02,534
Shh. No, look,
that's a tough decision.
146
00:07:02,567 --> 00:07:04,767
You got to let me
think about it.
147
00:07:04,801 --> 00:07:07,234
Hello, this is Charlie Crawford,
and I am in charge here.
148
00:07:07,267 --> 00:07:10,667
If you have a question,
I will answer it.
149
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:12,334
Uh-huh.
150
00:07:12,367 --> 00:07:15,801
You want thin or
thick crust?
151
00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:17,434
Thin.
152
00:07:17,467 --> 00:07:18,901
Thin.
153
00:07:18,934 --> 00:07:22,067
That better be here
in half an hour.
154
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,367
Mike, what do you think
you're doing here?
155
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,133
Charlie, I'm sorry about moving
up the mayor's announcement.
156
00:07:29,167 --> 00:07:31,167
I just got a tip that Wheeler
was planning
157
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,167
this publicity stunt
for Times Square.
158
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,200
I wanted to call you,
but there just wasn't time.
159
00:07:35,234 --> 00:07:37,501
What you did was unprofessional
and childish.
160
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:39,000
Those were my balloons.
161
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:41,300
They were supposed to fall
on my head.
162
00:07:41,334 --> 00:07:43,968
You got some nerve
barging into your office
163
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,901
telling me how to do
your job!
164
00:07:45,934 --> 00:07:47,634
That makes no sense.
165
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:50,067
Yeah, and I thought
if I yelled it,
166
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,300
you wouldn't notice.
167
00:07:51,334 --> 00:07:54,334
Mike, I know you got
your heart broken.
168
00:07:54,367 --> 00:07:56,767
We all get dumped,
and we all move on.
169
00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:58,234
Why can't you?
170
00:07:58,267 --> 00:08:01,000
Because she didn't break
up with me, okay?
171
00:08:01,033 --> 00:08:03,400
I'm the one who called off
the wedding.
172
00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:04,901
Wait a minute.
173
00:08:04,934 --> 00:08:06,901
What about the
tear-stained note,
174
00:08:06,934 --> 00:08:09,000
"our lives are too
different,"
175
00:08:09,033 --> 00:08:10,601
the $18 bag of cheese puffs?
176
00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:12,000
That was all a lie?
177
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,634
No, that was spin.
178
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:17,167
I'm masking an untruth
with assorted facts.
179
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,667
So, lying.
180
00:08:18,701 --> 00:08:20,334
Yeah, pretty much.
181
00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:23,868
What happened?
182
00:08:23,901 --> 00:08:26,334
Oh, believe me,
it's... it's complicated.
183
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:27,567
Is she seeing another man?
184
00:08:27,601 --> 00:08:30,000
I wish it were that simple.
185
00:08:30,033 --> 00:08:31,400
Oh.
186
00:08:31,434 --> 00:08:33,067
Another woman?
187
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:35,501
Look, I'm just scared,
okay?
188
00:08:35,534 --> 00:08:37,334
Mike, it's just two women.
189
00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:40,167
Light a few candles,
put on some k.D. Lang,
190
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,534
and don't be afraid
to ask questions.
191
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:45,367
No, I'm afraid
to get married.
192
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:49,033
See, when I'm at work,
I'm in total control.
193
00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:51,968
I'm two steps ahead
of every problem.
194
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,968
But with Allison, you know,
it's not like that.
195
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,834
Something goes wrong,
196
00:08:57,868 --> 00:09:00,868
I'm not gonna know
how to fix it.
197
00:09:00,901 --> 00:09:02,868
I can't live with that.
198
00:09:02,901 --> 00:09:05,868
Wow... That's tough.
199
00:09:05,901 --> 00:09:07,567
Well, look, it's no problem.
200
00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:09,734
I'm just not gonna let it
affect me.
201
00:09:09,767 --> 00:09:11,434
You spinning again?
202
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,567
No, that was a lie.
203
00:09:20,868 --> 00:09:23,100
I have a delivery
for Carter Heywood.
204
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:26,133
Oh! Oh, I forgot to cancel the
cake and the champagne
205
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:27,734
for Mike's engagement party.
206
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:30,968
I guess we're not gonna need
any of this stuff anymore.
207
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,400
A dear friend of ours
208
00:09:32,434 --> 00:09:34,467
was spurned by the woman
of his dreams.
209
00:09:34,501 --> 00:09:37,400
Once more, the beast of love
proves untamable.
210
00:09:37,434 --> 00:09:40,000
Wow.
That'll be $87.50.
211
00:09:40,033 --> 00:09:42,734
"Congratulations,
Mike and Al"?
212
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:45,033
Hey, you guys only gave
me 20 bucks.
213
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,501
They charge by the letter.
214
00:09:46,534 --> 00:09:48,434
I'll tell you something.
215
00:09:48,467 --> 00:09:50,467
This whole Mike situation,
216
00:09:50,501 --> 00:09:53,133
it's making me sick
to my stomach.
217
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:54,701
Must be awful...
218
00:09:54,734 --> 00:09:57,300
think you found the
perfect woman,
219
00:09:57,334 --> 00:09:59,000
and then, poof, she's gone.
220
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,367
Tell me about it.
221
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,400
I was married to Claudia
for three years.
222
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:03,934
She up and left me.
223
00:10:03,968 --> 00:10:05,234
That's nothing.
224
00:10:05,267 --> 00:10:07,434
I'm almost 40, and no woman has
ever loved me.
225
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:09,601
That can't be true.
226
00:10:09,634 --> 00:10:11,534
You're almost 40?
227
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:13,667
What's going on?
228
00:10:13,701 --> 00:10:16,300
We're drinking and talking about
our pathetic love lives.
229
00:10:16,334 --> 00:10:18,234
Wow. Is it 5:00 already?
230
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:21,367
I can't believe
Mike's not getting married.
231
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,901
It's a real letdown.
232
00:10:22,934 --> 00:10:25,334
Devastating!
233
00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:28,334
You know, in a way, I felt if he
could find the right person,
234
00:10:28,367 --> 00:10:30,567
there might be someone
out there for me, too.
235
00:10:30,601 --> 00:10:32,534
Yeah... gave us all hope.
236
00:10:32,567 --> 00:10:34,067
As I was gonna say
in my toast,
237
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:37,868
like dew on morning grass,
238
00:10:37,901 --> 00:10:41,133
new love awakens,
refreshes, gives life.
239
00:10:41,167 --> 00:10:43,534
We're having a nice moment here.
Do you have to gay it up?
240
00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:45,067
What about you, Caitlin?
241
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,734
You think you'd ever
get married again?
242
00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:49,767
My high-school boyfriend and I
made a pact
243
00:10:49,801 --> 00:10:52,834
if we were still alone when I
turned 40, we'd get married.
244
00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:56,033
I made a similar pact
with my high-school prom queen.
245
00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:59,934
She said that she would sleep
with me when I turned 50.
246
00:10:59,968 --> 00:11:04,601
It's just I had to be
the last man on earth.
247
00:11:04,634 --> 00:11:07,033
Well, I guess
we have each other.
248
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:10,701
In a way, I guess
we're like our own family.
249
00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:12,767
We have the protective
older brother,
250
00:11:12,801 --> 00:11:15,567
the perverted
younger brother.
251
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,834
One hour to showtime!
252
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:22,467
And the transvestite Uncle
that no one talks about.
253
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,901
I can't believe you called
off an engagement.
254
00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:29,801
Wow.
That takes a lot of guts.
255
00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:31,467
Yeah, well, it was tough,
256
00:11:31,501 --> 00:11:34,300
but a guy's got to do
what a guy's got to do.
257
00:11:34,334 --> 00:11:36,367
I just, you know, I looked
her in the eye,
258
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,634
and I said, "hey, sorry,
the engagement's off."
259
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,634
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
260
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:43,400
There's my fiancé.
261
00:11:43,434 --> 00:11:46,801
Can you hold on
for just one sec?
262
00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:48,434
[DOOR CLOSES]
263
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,267
You never told her.
264
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:54,133
This is amazing! You're
a bigger screw-up than I am!
265
00:11:54,167 --> 00:11:55,767
How am I gonna tell her
it's off?
266
00:11:55,801 --> 00:11:57,133
Are you sure you want to?
267
00:11:57,167 --> 00:11:59,334
Yes! Come on, Charlie,
marriage is crazy.
268
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,934
I mean, why should a guy give up
his independence
269
00:12:01,968 --> 00:12:04,300
and commit his whole life
to one woman?
270
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,033
You talking to me?
271
00:12:10,601 --> 00:12:13,234
Look, there are a lot of great
things about marriage.
272
00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:14,300
Yeah? Name one.
273
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,701
I understand there's
a tax break?
274
00:12:17,968 --> 00:12:20,701
You know how comedians make all
those jokes
275
00:12:20,734 --> 00:12:22,934
about how their wives
can't cook?
276
00:12:22,968 --> 00:12:24,667
Those will be funnier.
277
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:26,968
You suck at this.
278
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,300
ALLISON:
Mike, are you okay?
279
00:12:29,334 --> 00:12:30,801
Yeah, just a second.
280
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:32,868
Mike, three days ago,
you were just saying
281
00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:34,834
there's nothing more important
in life than relationships.
282
00:12:34,868 --> 00:12:37,200
It just happened so fast.
283
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:40,067
When I asked Allison to marry
me, I wasn't thinking.
284
00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:42,701
That is no way to make
a major life decision.
285
00:12:42,734 --> 00:12:46,334
Well, maybe it's the best way.
Do you love her? Yes.
286
00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,501
Can you imagine meeting someone
that'll make you happier?
287
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,667
No.
288
00:12:50,701 --> 00:12:53,234
Then you got to ask yourself
what's scarier...
289
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:55,701
taking a chance
and spending your life with her
290
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:58,367
or playing it safe and spending
your life without her.
291
00:12:59,801 --> 00:13:03,033
I don't know who I'm channeling,
but this makes sense, right?
292
00:13:04,734 --> 00:13:07,567
Poor Mike.
He'll never get to say, "I do."
293
00:13:07,601 --> 00:13:09,100
He'll never have children.
294
00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:10,934
He'll never get to hear
my toast.
295
00:13:10,968 --> 00:13:14,234
Yeah, not hearing you talk...
that's the real tragedy.
296
00:13:15,934 --> 00:13:18,067
Is anyone else feeling sick
from this cake?
297
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:20,567
None of us had any.
298
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:24,067
Carter, get me some more
champagne.
299
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:26,200
That is your fifth glass.
I think you should slow down.
300
00:13:26,234 --> 00:13:29,968
No. This Allison, she really
grinds my beans.
301
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000
If I ever see her again,
302
00:13:32,033 --> 00:13:35,300
I'm gonna give her
a piece of my mind!
303
00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:37,968
Excuse me.
I need some air.
304
00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:40,033
You're heading
to the cafeteria.
305
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:42,667
Peach cobbler, then air!
306
00:13:42,701 --> 00:13:45,067
Mike and Allison are back
together.
307
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:48,934
He wants to get married right now.
Oh, my God, that's great!
308
00:13:48,968 --> 00:13:51,234
He figures all of his closest
friends are here,
309
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:53,033
so he asked the mayor
to perform the ceremony.
310
00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:55,334
So he's getting married
right in this office?
311
00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:56,801
Yes. We got to clear out
312
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:59,801
any offensive pictures,
paperweights, calendars...
313
00:13:59,834 --> 00:14:02,000
in a nutshell,
let's lose Stuart's desk.
314
00:14:02,033 --> 00:14:03,767
I'll make the arrangements.
We need music, flowers...
315
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,234
oh, and a bachelor party?
316
00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:07,234
Better do it fast.
317
00:14:07,267 --> 00:14:10,200
Okay. There are two key elements
to every bachelor party...
318
00:14:10,234 --> 00:14:12,267
someone gets punched
in the face,
319
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:14,334
and some hot woman
shows her breasts.
320
00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:15,868
Caitlin, help me out here.
321
00:14:15,901 --> 00:14:18,968
That's one down. Why don't
you lift your shirt and...
322
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,734
you really aren't embracing
the spirit of this thing.
323
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,300
I apologize for the shoddy
arrangements,
324
00:14:30,334 --> 00:14:32,367
but I didn't have
much time.
325
00:14:35,934 --> 00:14:37,501
This is amazing.
326
00:14:37,534 --> 00:14:39,934
I can't wait
to see what you do
327
00:14:39,968 --> 00:14:43,133
with the money we gave you for
the Christmas party.
328
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,067
There's not gonna be
a Christmas party.
329
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:54,000
["Wedding March" PLAYS]
330
00:14:54,033 --> 00:14:55,968
This violin player
is pretty good.
331
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,334
Where'd you find him?
332
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,968
He plays at my subway stop.
This is big for him.
333
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,467
He hasn't played aboveground
in three years.
334
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,801
["Wedding March" RESUMES]
335
00:15:19,968 --> 00:15:21,334
Are you ready?
336
00:15:21,367 --> 00:15:23,334
Yeah, I think so.
Hey, Carter.
337
00:15:31,067 --> 00:15:34,167
Well, well, well!
338
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,267
Look who we have here,
huh?
339
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:38,801
You really didn't think
340
00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:40,167
you could break
my best friend's heart
341
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,801
and get away with it,
did you?!
342
00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:44,467
You are nothing...
343
00:15:44,501 --> 00:15:47,868
But a two-bit harlot!
344
00:15:53,334 --> 00:15:55,300
Paul,
if that was your toast...
345
00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:57,901
needs some work.
346
00:16:01,968 --> 00:16:04,434
["Wedding March" RESUMES]
347
00:16:13,567 --> 00:16:15,234
Uh, sir,
348
00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:17,634
maybe you should have changed
before the ceremony.
349
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:20,133
I have to be at the "Broadway
cares" gala in 20 minutes.
350
00:16:20,167 --> 00:16:22,067
What do you think,
I just roll out of bed
351
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:23,400
looking like this?
352
00:16:23,434 --> 00:16:26,434
Men.
353
00:16:26,467 --> 00:16:29,601
You look so beautiful.
354
00:16:29,634 --> 00:16:31,634
Well, thank you, Mike.
355
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:33,934
At least someone
appreciates it.
356
00:16:35,434 --> 00:16:36,901
[EXHALES]
357
00:16:36,934 --> 00:16:39,267
[CLEARING THROATS]
358
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:42,067
We are gathered here today
359
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:45,100
to join these two people
in holy matrimony.
360
00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:46,801
Now, before Mike and Allison
exchange vows,
361
00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:49,167
perhaps some of his friends
would like to say a few words?
362
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,601
Well, it's showtime.
363
00:16:51,634 --> 00:16:52,767
Yes, Stuart?
364
00:16:52,801 --> 00:16:54,434
Thank you.
365
00:16:54,467 --> 00:16:58,167
As I've always said, like dew on
the morning grass,
366
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,634
a new love awakens,
refreshes, gives life.
367
00:17:01,667 --> 00:17:05,267
Well, Stuart, that's...
that's heartfelt and profound.
368
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,467
Thank you.
Yes, Carter?
369
00:17:07,501 --> 00:17:11,100
Uh, be happy...
370
00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:13,400
You two.
371
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,801
Weak, Carter... very weak.
372
00:17:16,834 --> 00:17:20,767
Now the bride and groom
will exchange vows.
373
00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:23,067
Allison?
374
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:26,234
[CLEARS THROAT]
375
00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:27,934
Mike...
376
00:17:27,968 --> 00:17:31,801
You're everything
I've ever dreamed of.
377
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:34,033
You're loving...
378
00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:36,767
Caring...
379
00:17:36,801 --> 00:17:38,734
And funny...
380
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,367
Intelligent...
381
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,300
I'll stop that.
382
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:47,934
Every day I spend with you
makes me love you more.
383
00:17:47,968 --> 00:17:50,467
Me too.
384
00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:53,567
Sorry.
385
00:17:53,601 --> 00:17:55,167
Go.
386
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,033
Allison, I, um...
387
00:17:57,067 --> 00:18:01,000
[VOICE BREAKING]
I-I used to think that
388
00:18:01,033 --> 00:18:04,701
everything I needed
was... was right here.
389
00:18:04,734 --> 00:18:08,133
But since I met you,
that's all changed.
390
00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:11,601
I know we haven't known each
other for very long,
391
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:14,901
but I can't imagine my life
without you.
392
00:18:14,934 --> 00:18:16,634
I love you.
393
00:18:25,033 --> 00:18:28,601
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
394
00:18:28,634 --> 00:18:30,601
Uh, sir, don't forget
the kiss.
395
00:18:30,634 --> 00:18:34,133
I'm sorry, Mike.
I'm just so flustered.
396
00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:35,801
[SMOOCHES]
397
00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:37,434
Congratulations, son.
398
00:18:45,968 --> 00:18:48,334
Uh, you know,
the only drawback, sir,
399
00:18:48,367 --> 00:18:50,601
to a spontaneous wedding
like this
400
00:18:50,634 --> 00:18:53,167
is that my mom and dad
couldn't be here,
401
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,534
but I want you to know you
stepped in for both of them.
402
00:18:59,267 --> 00:19:01,567
Gee, Mike,
I'm really gonna miss you.
403
00:19:01,601 --> 00:19:02,901
Thanks, stuey.
404
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:04,834
Can I get a hug?
405
00:19:04,868 --> 00:19:07,234
He means you.
You got a problem with that?
406
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:08,734
By all means.
407
00:19:08,767 --> 00:19:10,334
Ah, congratulations.
408
00:19:10,367 --> 00:19:12,934
You really outdid
yourself here.
409
00:19:12,968 --> 00:19:15,367
I want you to know if you ever
give up politics,
410
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,367
you could be a kick-ass
wedding planner.
411
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,234
Don't be a stranger.
412
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,234
Aw, Mike,
I love you, buddy.
413
00:19:24,267 --> 00:19:26,734
I really hope you two
are happy together,
414
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:29,234
and I'm sorry I called you
a two-bit harlot.
415
00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:31,767
That's okay. I don't even know
what a harlot is.
416
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:33,534
Oh... it's a whore.
417
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,501
That was so beautiful.
Congratulations.
418
00:19:38,534 --> 00:19:41,400
I'm so glad you could
be here for it.
419
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:46,868
Oh, hey, listen...
420
00:19:46,901 --> 00:19:48,567
uh, thanks for everything,
421
00:19:48,601 --> 00:19:51,100
and sorry I got in your way
the last couple of days.
422
00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:52,868
Don't worry about it.
423
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:55,767
Someday I can come into your
office and be really annoying.
424
00:19:55,801 --> 00:19:58,100
I'd like that.
425
00:19:59,667 --> 00:20:01,868
Take good care
of this place, huh?
426
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,534
I'll do my best.
427
00:20:06,234 --> 00:20:07,901
Whoo! Yeah! Yeah!
428
00:20:07,934 --> 00:20:09,701
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
429
00:20:22,467 --> 00:20:23,934
Well...
430
00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:29,501
Weddings are so romantic.
431
00:20:29,534 --> 00:20:31,467
That's why at
times like these,
432
00:20:31,501 --> 00:20:33,567
it's so easy to hook up
with women.
433
00:20:33,601 --> 00:20:36,000
You know, I've never left
a wedding alone.
434
00:20:36,033 --> 00:20:38,133
You look great, by the way.
435
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:39,834
Give it up, Charlie.
436
00:20:39,868 --> 00:20:42,334
All right.
See you tomorrow.
437
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,634
How about this...
I'll let you leave with me,
438
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:47,067
and then, technically,
you're not leaving alone.
439
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,267
I'll take it.
440
00:20:51,367 --> 00:20:53,801
Don't push it.
441
00:20:57,334 --> 00:20:59,100
I tell you,
now that Mike's married,
442
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,100
I think love's right around the
corner for all of us.
443
00:21:01,133 --> 00:21:03,033
Yep, the times,
they are a-changin'.
444
00:21:03,067 --> 00:21:06,434
I think I'll try out
our luck right now.
445
00:21:06,467 --> 00:21:08,467
Hey, baby,
can I buy you a drink?
446
00:21:13,667 --> 00:21:16,200
It's been a rough day.
What the hell?
447
00:21:22,334 --> 00:21:23,534
Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
448
00:21:23,567 --> 00:21:24,767
(BARKING)
449
00:21:24,801 --> 00:21:27,300
Moo.32456
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