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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:05,901 What a night. I think I might've 2 00:00:05,934 --> 00:00:08,100 over-celebrated Mike's engagement. 3 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:09,801 Last time I drank like that, 4 00:00:09,834 --> 00:00:11,667 I was hitting on sorority girls. 5 00:00:11,701 --> 00:00:13,968 So... Tuesday. 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:18,067 Why did I have that second piña colada? 7 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:22,100 Damn my weakness for sweetened coconut. 8 00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:25,534 So, this is what it's like to be the sober one. 9 00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:30,167 No wonder I was so unproductive in the '90s. 10 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,534 I got to warn you, boss. 11 00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:35,501 I don't think I'm going to be very helpful today. 12 00:00:35,534 --> 00:00:40,167 The streak continues. 13 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,767 All right, let's get the morning meeting started. 14 00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:45,767 We need to talk. 15 00:00:45,801 --> 00:00:48,267 Last night, before Mike announced his engagement, 16 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,634 we were about to kiss. 17 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:52,133 Charlie, I'm in no condition for a serious conversation. 18 00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:53,567 Can we do it later? 19 00:00:53,601 --> 00:00:56,167 Okay. I'm the sober one and the one who wants to talk? 20 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,367 If I was still clinging to my virginity, 21 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,467 I'd be my college girlfriend. 22 00:01:02,434 --> 00:01:04,400 Seeing as you're all hung over, 23 00:01:04,434 --> 00:01:06,834 I'll try to keep this short and quiet. 24 00:01:06,868 --> 00:01:08,167 Hello, everyone! 25 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,701 Starting today, I want to take time each morning 26 00:01:11,734 --> 00:01:14,133 to discuss our personal lives. 27 00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:16,667 So come on, people, let's dish. 28 00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,801 Well, actually, I've been feeling 29 00:01:18,834 --> 00:01:20,868 a little melancholy lately, and I've been... 30 00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:22,501 super. Now me. 31 00:01:22,534 --> 00:01:26,834 Claire has really been bringing out my romantic side. 32 00:01:26,868 --> 00:01:30,534 This morning, I had the tree outside of my bedroom window 33 00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:33,834 cut down so that we could watch the sun rise 34 00:01:33,868 --> 00:01:35,400 over the east river. 35 00:01:35,434 --> 00:01:37,167 The big oak tree? 36 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,901 Sir, that tree was a historical landmark. 37 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,334 It was planted in 1796 by George Washington. 38 00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:45,167 Well, the good news is, he's dead. 39 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,267 Besides, what's the big deal? 40 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,567 I'm sure he planted other trees. 41 00:01:49,601 --> 00:01:50,734 I don't know. 42 00:01:50,767 --> 00:01:52,701 He was probably too busy with the whole 43 00:01:52,734 --> 00:01:54,734 "giving birth to a nation" thing. 44 00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:57,234 I'm sorry. I make a hundred decisions a day, 45 00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:59,133 and it's hard for me to keep track 46 00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:00,667 of who planted what tree. 47 00:02:00,701 --> 00:02:03,100 Besides, my gardener took it down. 48 00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:04,934 Well, your gardener's not running for mayor. 49 00:02:04,968 --> 00:02:07,133 Well, I should hope not. He's an illegal immigrant. 50 00:02:36,534 --> 00:02:39,767 Hey, everybody, I want you to meet Allison. 51 00:02:39,801 --> 00:02:41,934 Hi, Allison. I'm Caitlin. 52 00:02:41,968 --> 00:02:44,501 Mike cannot stop talking about you. 53 00:02:44,534 --> 00:02:46,234 And I cannot stop looking at you. 54 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,467 You must be Stuart. 55 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,400 You'll have to forgive him. 56 00:02:49,434 --> 00:02:52,601 At times, he can be quite puerile and fatuous. 57 00:02:52,634 --> 00:02:53,968 You must be Carter. 58 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,968 Oh, Mike told you I was well-spoken. 59 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,133 No, he said you were a bald black guy. 60 00:03:00,501 --> 00:03:02,634 Allison, I've never seen Mike happier, 61 00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:05,100 and I should know, 'cause we're best friends. 62 00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:06,467 Ahem. Paul. 63 00:03:06,501 --> 00:03:09,801 Oh. Paul, of course... Mike's best friend. 64 00:03:09,834 --> 00:03:12,467 So, I have been dying to know. How did you guys meet? 65 00:03:12,501 --> 00:03:14,300 Well, you know, I was in the water 66 00:03:14,334 --> 00:03:16,067 at this beautiful secluded beach 67 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,734 and, uh, started waving at her. 68 00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:19,100 The next thing I know, 69 00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,701 I'm lying in her arms on the sand. 70 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,200 So it was love at first sight. 71 00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:25,167 Actually, I was drowning. 72 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,334 She is a hell of a swimmer. 73 00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:29,901 I had to give Mike mouth-to-mouth 74 00:03:29,934 --> 00:03:31,501 for nearly five minutes. 75 00:03:31,534 --> 00:03:35,467 You know, to be honest, I wasn't actually unconscious. 76 00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:36,834 Yeah, I knew that. 77 00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:41,868 Unconscious people rarely try to untie a bikini top. 78 00:03:41,901 --> 00:03:44,334 Well, it was great meeting you guys. 79 00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:45,968 I'll see you all later. 80 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,734 Come here. 81 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,467 Bye-bye. 82 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:54,968 Oh, is she great or what? 83 00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:58,267 So, now all I have to do is buy the ring. 84 00:03:58,300 --> 00:03:59,868 So, Carter, your first job as my best man 85 00:03:59,901 --> 00:04:01,901 is to pick one out. I'm on it. 86 00:04:01,934 --> 00:04:04,501 Oh, and, Carter, no male strippers at the bachelor party. 87 00:04:04,534 --> 00:04:06,367 No problem. Ha. 88 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,868 Damn it. 89 00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:16,701 Okay, Charlie, you wanna talk? Let's talk. 90 00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,200 Excellent. 91 00:04:18,234 --> 00:04:20,100 I've been thinking about where I am in my life. 92 00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:22,901 [GROANS] 93 00:04:22,934 --> 00:04:27,000 That sentence never leads to fun. 94 00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:29,300 I know we almost kissed last night, 95 00:04:29,334 --> 00:04:31,934 but then Mike got engaged, and I realized 96 00:04:31,968 --> 00:04:34,067 I want more than just a fling. 97 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,734 First you want me, then you don't. 98 00:04:35,767 --> 00:04:37,667 We almost kiss, then you leave. 99 00:04:37,701 --> 00:04:39,734 I'm through playing this game. 100 00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:41,501 I wouldn't go home with you now 101 00:04:41,534 --> 00:04:43,767 unless you asked me. 102 00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:47,000 Charlie, my last two boyfriends just got engaged. 103 00:04:47,033 --> 00:04:50,534 The next guy I'm with needs to have long-term potential, 104 00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:52,400 and we both know that's not you. 105 00:04:52,434 --> 00:04:54,767 That doesn't sound like me. 106 00:04:54,801 --> 00:04:57,734 Do you have a cigarette? 107 00:04:57,767 --> 00:04:59,467 Yes, I do. 108 00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:04,167 Thanks. 109 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,567 Look at that. You can't stop hitting on women. 110 00:05:06,601 --> 00:05:08,234 I wasn't hitting on her. 111 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,534 Charlie, you don't even smoke. 112 00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:12,934 I like to help people. 113 00:05:12,968 --> 00:05:13,968 Hey, buddy, could I bum a smoke? 114 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,667 What am I... a vending machine? 115 00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:18,734 Charlie, we're friends. 116 00:05:18,767 --> 00:05:21,000 I think that's what we're meant to be. 117 00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:23,367 Caitlin, there's something going on here. 118 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,467 Let's give it a chance. 119 00:05:24,501 --> 00:05:25,567 I got to go. 120 00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,834 How about I pay you back for the cigarette 121 00:05:32,868 --> 00:05:34,234 by buying you a drink? 122 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,734 I don't know. I'm pretty down. 123 00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:38,634 Trouble with your girlfriend? 124 00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,934 Oh, no, no. She's not my girlfriend. 125 00:05:40,968 --> 00:05:42,501 It's kind of complicated. 126 00:05:42,534 --> 00:05:44,534 So you want me to leave? 127 00:05:46,234 --> 00:05:49,100 Not that complicated. 128 00:05:54,234 --> 00:05:56,634 I had a great time last night. 129 00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:57,968 You were amazing. 130 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,267 You too. 131 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,701 That thing with the ice cream was a first. 132 00:06:02,734 --> 00:06:07,534 Well, I am the "good humor" man. 133 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,200 You were really intense. 134 00:06:09,234 --> 00:06:11,400 At one point, you actually screamed. 135 00:06:11,434 --> 00:06:12,934 It was so primal. 136 00:06:12,968 --> 00:06:16,434 To be honest, I think I pulled a hamstring. 137 00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:19,834 Look, Jennifer, 138 00:06:19,868 --> 00:06:22,267 I think you're great, but I'm really not ready for... 139 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:25,734 I'll take this one. Last night was fun, 140 00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:28,868 but I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now, 141 00:06:28,901 --> 00:06:31,767 so why don't we accept it for what it was? 142 00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:34,667 One evening of pure uncomplicated passion. 143 00:06:34,701 --> 00:06:36,667 Wow. You rejected me, 144 00:06:36,701 --> 00:06:40,367 yet my self-esteem is completely intact. 145 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,033 It's designed that way. 146 00:06:46,234 --> 00:06:49,200 I'll call you. 147 00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,934 Yeah. Thanks. 148 00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,601 I can use that. 149 00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:06,100 Last night was fun but... 150 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,734 Something about pure passion. 151 00:07:08,767 --> 00:07:10,033 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 152 00:07:10,067 --> 00:07:14,501 Oh, great, I need you to say that thing again. 153 00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:15,834 Aah! 154 00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,234 What? 155 00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:19,467 Nothing. I'm happy to see you. 156 00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:22,234 Caitlin... Aah! 157 00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:25,701 I feel bad about the way we left things last night. 158 00:07:25,734 --> 00:07:26,901 You do? 159 00:07:26,934 --> 00:07:28,234 Yes. 160 00:07:28,267 --> 00:07:29,767 I mean, clearly, 161 00:07:29,801 --> 00:07:31,300 there's something between us, 162 00:07:31,334 --> 00:07:32,968 but instead of taking a chance, 163 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,234 I was home trying to cheer myself up with ice cream. 164 00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:38,033 Me too. 165 00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:41,267 Why don't we stop over-thinking everything 166 00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:43,801 and just see where this leads? 167 00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,701 Do you want to go on a date with me? 168 00:07:45,734 --> 00:07:48,467 Yes. I would love that. 169 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:50,501 Great. I mean, it's obvious 170 00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:54,200 neither one of us will be able to move on until we resolve this thing. 171 00:07:54,234 --> 00:07:56,334 Totally obvious. 172 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:00,901 What's this? 173 00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:04,601 Oh, that... that's my pashmina scarf. 174 00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:07,234 You wear a pashmina scarf? 175 00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:09,434 What... a man can't feel pretty? 176 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,834 Do you see? I told you you'd like the cézanne exhibit. 177 00:08:19,868 --> 00:08:21,701 I could never have gotten Mike to go to that museum. 178 00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:22,968 What is your secret? 179 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,334 See, Carter, the difference between you and Allison 180 00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,234 is what happens after we see the paintings. 181 00:08:28,267 --> 00:08:30,133 Gotcha. I don't put out. 182 00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,701 No, you don't shut up. 183 00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:35,767 I've got to get to the airport. 184 00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:37,334 I'll call you in a few days. 185 00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:38,901 Stay a little while longer, okay? 186 00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:41,167 If you miss your flight, I'll drive you. 187 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,601 I'm going to Brazil. 188 00:08:42,634 --> 00:08:45,367 I know a shortcut through Honduras. 189 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,067 You know, if there's no rebel activity, 190 00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,133 we're there in the morning. 191 00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:52,200 I'll call you as soon as I land. 192 00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:53,968 I'll miss you. 193 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,567 I'll miss you more. 194 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,234 She will miss me more. 195 00:09:08,334 --> 00:09:09,901 Mike, if Allison always travels this much, 196 00:09:09,934 --> 00:09:11,234 you're never going to see her. 197 00:09:11,267 --> 00:09:14,367 Yeah, I know. That's why I'm going to quit work. 198 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,400 I'm just going to travel around with her. 199 00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:18,167 Next month, we're going to Africa. 200 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,701 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 201 00:09:19,734 --> 00:09:21,200 Mike Flaherty is going to stop working? 202 00:09:21,234 --> 00:09:22,634 Impossible. 203 00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:25,234 Seeing Allison helped me put everything in perspective. 204 00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,601 I mean, I love politics, but it became an obsession. 205 00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:29,868 My seven years at city hall... I saw one movie. 206 00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:31,133 "City hall." 207 00:09:31,167 --> 00:09:33,501 I want to get married. I want to have kids, 208 00:09:33,534 --> 00:09:36,968 and, you know, this is the only way it's going to happen. 209 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,534 Can't believe I'm hearing you say that. I am impressed. 210 00:09:39,567 --> 00:09:41,200 All right, well, if you'll excuse me, 211 00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:43,634 Allison told me about a great exhibit of botticelli nudes. 212 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,167 Botticelli... his models were... 213 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,901 Chicks. I'm in. 214 00:09:47,934 --> 00:09:49,801 Julian Wheeler's live on New York one. 215 00:09:49,834 --> 00:09:52,567 I think he's going to announce his candidacy for mayor. 216 00:09:52,601 --> 00:09:53,801 Another billionaire politician 217 00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:55,534 who thinks he can buy the election. 218 00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:59,400 That bastard. That was our plan. 219 00:09:59,434 --> 00:10:01,067 This was once a beautiful tree 220 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,367 planted by George Washington. 221 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:07,033 But mayor Winston has carelessly destroyed 222 00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:09,667 this national treasure, 223 00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,400 just like he's destroying this great city. 224 00:10:12,434 --> 00:10:14,567 How did he find out about the tree? 225 00:10:14,601 --> 00:10:16,167 That's all for today. 226 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,367 Mr. Wheeler will be... 227 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,000 Charlie, that's the woman from the bar. 228 00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:23,267 And she's wearing your pashmina scarf. 229 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:25,601 Tomorrow, you can ask him any question you want. 230 00:10:25,634 --> 00:10:27,067 Thank you. 231 00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:30,634 You took her home, didn't you? 232 00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:32,434 Well, uh... 233 00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:34,534 Charlie, did you tell her about the tree? 234 00:10:37,634 --> 00:10:39,300 Ha ha. No. 235 00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:42,334 Yes. That tree stands for 200 years, 236 00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:44,934 he's seeing this woman for two weeks, and then... 237 00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:48,200 Ya! Ya! Ya! 238 00:10:48,234 --> 00:10:50,467 It's all gone! Ha ha ha! 239 00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:55,934 It might've come up. 240 00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:09,100 I had no idea that woman was his campaign manager. 241 00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:10,234 I'm sorry. 242 00:11:10,267 --> 00:11:12,067 No, no, it's our fault. From now on, 243 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,400 we'll have Stuart run background checks 244 00:11:13,434 --> 00:11:15,934 before your one-night stands. 245 00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:17,334 Yes, because if a girl can live up 246 00:11:17,367 --> 00:11:19,067 to Stuart's lofty moral standards, 247 00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:21,300 there should be no problem. 248 00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:24,767 I cannot believe she manipulated me like that. 249 00:11:24,801 --> 00:11:26,100 I feel so used. 250 00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,667 Oh, shut up. 251 00:11:28,701 --> 00:11:31,267 So when Charlie gets taken advantage of, 252 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:32,934 he still has sex with a hot woman. 253 00:11:32,968 --> 00:11:35,300 Yeah, when I get taken advantage of, 254 00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:37,534 I pay 200 bucks for a romex watch. 255 00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:41,501 For the last time, Paul, a deal's a deal. 256 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,367 Hey, guys. I heard about your work crisis. 257 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,634 I just wanted to say good luck. 258 00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:49,167 I mean, obviously it's not my thing anymore, 259 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,167 so there's no reason for me to get involved. 260 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,400 Good for you. 261 00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:56,667 If I were to get involved... 262 00:11:56,701 --> 00:12:00,000 I say you take the wood from the tree, 263 00:12:00,033 --> 00:12:02,701 and you make something of value to the city. 264 00:12:02,734 --> 00:12:04,634 That's good, that's good. 265 00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,133 In the meantime, we got to get you 266 00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:08,968 in front of the cameras, making a sincere apology. 267 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,868 Apologizing is my least favorite part of the job. 268 00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:15,868 Ironically, it's what I do the most. 269 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:19,067 We'll need someone to draft a statement. I'll do it. 270 00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,501 And someone's got to deal with the environmental groups. 271 00:12:20,534 --> 00:12:21,701 I'll do it. 272 00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:23,400 And someone should find that devious woman, 273 00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:26,968 feed her phony information, and sleep with her. 274 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,067 I'll do it. 275 00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:34,767 Hey, Carter, 276 00:12:34,801 --> 00:12:37,534 I'm just going to help out. I'll make a couple of calls. 277 00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:39,100 Yeah, hi, this is Mike Flaherty. 278 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,567 Get me the parks commissioner on the phone, please. 279 00:12:40,601 --> 00:12:42,868 What are you doing? You said you were done with work. 280 00:12:42,901 --> 00:12:44,801 Carter, come on, this is fun. 281 00:12:44,834 --> 00:12:46,601 Now, what do you mean he's busy? 282 00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:49,234 No, you tell him to get his butt to the phone, 283 00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:51,834 or I will drag Washington's tree down there, 284 00:12:51,868 --> 00:12:55,367 and I will beat his ass with it. 285 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,701 See, this is fun. 286 00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:02,934 The revolutionary war society is planning 287 00:13:02,968 --> 00:13:04,467 to picket city hall. 288 00:13:04,501 --> 00:13:06,200 Find out if we can make a deal. 289 00:13:06,234 --> 00:13:07,834 I need this asap. Go, go, go. 290 00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:09,200 We need to talk. 291 00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:10,534 Stay. 292 00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,033 Caitlin, I'd love to talk right now, 293 00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,300 but Stuart and I are in the middle of something, 294 00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:15,767 and I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable 295 00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:16,767 expressing yourself. 296 00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:18,868 You are a huge ass. 297 00:13:18,901 --> 00:13:20,567 She seems comfortable. 298 00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,801 How could you sleep with that woman? 299 00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:26,634 After everything we've been through, 300 00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:28,701 you couldn't make it one hour without jumping into bed with someone? 301 00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:31,133 The rule is, you wait 30 minutes. 302 00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:34,067 That's for going swimming after you eat. 303 00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,667 You're the one that wanted to be friends. 304 00:13:36,701 --> 00:13:38,234 What did I do wrong? 305 00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:39,534 If you cared about me, 306 00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:41,667 you would've taken some time before moving on. 307 00:13:41,701 --> 00:13:44,033 Caitlin, we live in a modern world 308 00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:47,000 where things happen so quickly. 309 00:13:47,033 --> 00:13:48,501 It used to take six weeks to cross the Atlantic, 310 00:13:48,534 --> 00:13:50,501 and now you can fly in five hours. 311 00:13:50,534 --> 00:13:51,801 So? 312 00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:53,167 So let's talk about that. 313 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,767 And I felt guilty about leaving you at the bar. 314 00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:59,400 Oh, I can't believe I was up half the night thinking about you. 315 00:13:59,434 --> 00:14:01,367 Listen, Caitlin, just because I was with her 316 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,467 doesn't mean you weren't on my mind. 317 00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:05,234 Ew. 318 00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:07,000 That's not what I... 319 00:14:07,033 --> 00:14:09,734 look, I was really upset when you said 320 00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,701 I didn't have long-term potential. 321 00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:13,467 I needed someone to talk to. 322 00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,000 You actually talked? 323 00:14:15,033 --> 00:14:17,434 A little. 324 00:14:17,467 --> 00:14:19,467 After. 325 00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:29,501 I want you gentlemen to know we take you very seriously. 326 00:14:29,534 --> 00:14:32,767 George Washington's tree has been killed, 327 00:14:32,801 --> 00:14:35,434 and it's as upsetting to us as it is to... 328 00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:36,767 Thee. 329 00:14:36,801 --> 00:14:39,667 What are you proposing? 330 00:14:39,701 --> 00:14:42,234 Well, why don't we name a bridge after him? 331 00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:44,000 We already have one. 332 00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:45,901 Shh. 333 00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:49,167 I'll tell you what... we'll give you a statue 334 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,367 in central park and a parade on presidents' day. 335 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,334 Let us take a vote. 336 00:14:53,367 --> 00:14:54,367 Yea. 337 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,367 Yea. 338 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,834 Yea. Nay. 339 00:14:56,868 --> 00:14:59,300 Come on, Stan, you're always so negative. 340 00:14:59,334 --> 00:15:01,834 No wonder none of the Betsy rosses like you. 341 00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:03,567 Uh, gentlemen, 342 00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,901 we've got a lot of fires to put out here. 343 00:15:05,934 --> 00:15:08,300 Maybe we could reschedule this for next Tuesday? 344 00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:10,300 Hey. We have lives. 345 00:15:10,334 --> 00:15:13,334 Clearly. 346 00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:15,534 The "post" is going to print our side of the story. 347 00:15:15,567 --> 00:15:17,634 Okay, Paul, draft a press release. 348 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,234 I want it on the 10:00 news. 349 00:15:19,267 --> 00:15:21,534 Stuart, find the mayor, bring him up to speed, 350 00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:23,067 tell him we go live in an hour. 351 00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,167 You, what do you do? 352 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,701 I'm just a college student. 353 00:15:25,734 --> 00:15:28,033 Graduate, find a job, retire, move to Boca. 354 00:15:28,067 --> 00:15:29,133 Go, go, go, go, go! 355 00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:30,834 Carter, what do you got for me? 356 00:15:30,868 --> 00:15:33,100 I, uh, made an appointment with the jeweler, 357 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,067 and I jotted down some romantic notes 358 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,567 for you to use when you give the ring to Allison. 359 00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:39,834 "My dearest..." 360 00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:41,701 That's nice. 361 00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:44,367 "I've loved you from the moment I saw you... 362 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,000 "Your beautiful brown eyes, your silky hair, 363 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:50,234 your... Powerful biceps." 364 00:15:50,267 --> 00:15:51,667 Sorry. Wrong notes. 365 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,601 I'm trying to patch things up with Brad. 366 00:15:54,634 --> 00:15:57,033 I think I can actually use this. 367 00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:59,534 See, I just change "rugged beard" 368 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,133 to "porcelain skin" 369 00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:04,601 and "firm buttocks" to... no, actually, that works. 370 00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,133 Hey, we just caught a break. 371 00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,200 Turns out Wheeler made millions destroying low-income housing 372 00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:09,601 building luxury condos. 373 00:16:09,634 --> 00:16:10,934 Great. That's it. That's our fix. 374 00:16:10,968 --> 00:16:13,634 Let's go map out the mayor's response. 375 00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:15,434 Mike. What about the ring? 376 00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:18,100 If you want to surprise her with a ring tomorrow, we've got to leave right now. 377 00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:21,167 Why don't you buy it for me? 378 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,167 And, hey, buy a little something for Brad... 379 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,534 something that will go with his sculpted chest and his winning smile. 380 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:29,267 Carter, nice work. This guy is a fox. 381 00:16:34,634 --> 00:16:36,000 I cannot tell a lie. 382 00:16:36,033 --> 00:16:39,834 I chopped down George Washington's tree. 383 00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,367 It's a regrettable accident, but we are using the wood 384 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,434 to create a shelter for the needy. 385 00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:48,400 While my opponent likes to destroy homes for the poor, 386 00:16:48,434 --> 00:16:52,467 I intend to build them. 387 00:16:52,501 --> 00:16:55,167 Thanks, everyone. We dodged a bullet. 388 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,467 You do this job day after day, 389 00:16:57,501 --> 00:17:00,934 and you feel like you never make a difference. 390 00:17:00,968 --> 00:17:04,567 But today, we stepped up, and we accomplished something. 391 00:17:04,601 --> 00:17:05,934 And you know what? 392 00:17:05,968 --> 00:17:08,334 It really wasn't that satisfying. 393 00:17:10,133 --> 00:17:13,033 Well, I'm inspired. Let's go have another round. 394 00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:15,334 Come on! Drinks are on... 395 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,767 Coasters. 396 00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:29,100 Well, it's been a crazy couple of days. 397 00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:32,434 Hard to keep track of who did what, 398 00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:34,767 who slept with who... 399 00:17:34,801 --> 00:17:37,200 Good news is, everything's back to normal. 400 00:17:37,234 --> 00:17:38,534 I got to go. 401 00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:41,701 Wait. You can't be mad at me. 402 00:17:41,734 --> 00:17:43,834 Why not? Because you know me. 403 00:17:43,868 --> 00:17:46,334 When it comes to women, I'm a screwup. 404 00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:47,734 It's who I am. 405 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,434 Do you get mad at the sun for rising 406 00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,534 or the wind for blowing or a rooster for... 407 00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:54,000 please stop talking. 408 00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:57,067 Can I say one more thing? 409 00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,334 What? 410 00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,534 I'm sorry. 411 00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:05,234 I never meant to make you feel like you weren't important to me. 412 00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:08,067 I know. You don't have to apologize. 413 00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:11,100 Just because I was home obsessing about our relationship 414 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,234 doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun. 415 00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:14,801 Well, to be honest, 416 00:18:14,834 --> 00:18:16,734 I would rather have hung out with you. 417 00:18:16,767 --> 00:18:18,734 Thanks. 418 00:18:18,767 --> 00:18:22,334 So, friends? 419 00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:25,534 Friends. 420 00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,534 You know, sometimes I admire the way 421 00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:30,567 you can just have a good time without even thinking twice. 422 00:18:30,601 --> 00:18:32,267 I'll let you in on a secret. 423 00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:33,868 I don't even think once. 424 00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:35,934 Good night, Charlie. 425 00:18:35,968 --> 00:18:37,534 Good night. 426 00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:45,934 Hi. 427 00:18:45,968 --> 00:18:47,300 Can we talk? 428 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,634 Well, if it isn't 429 00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:50,534 Ms. "pick me up, take me home, 430 00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:54,601 and get information about a tree" lady. 431 00:18:56,033 --> 00:18:58,734 That sounded better in my head. 432 00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:00,267 Look, Charlie, when we met, 433 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:01,968 I didn't know where you worked. 434 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:02,968 I just liked you. 435 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,467 And then you told me that story 436 00:19:05,501 --> 00:19:06,901 about the mayor... 437 00:19:06,934 --> 00:19:09,601 Ya! Ya! Ya! 438 00:19:09,634 --> 00:19:10,834 I had to use it. 439 00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:12,767 Come on, you would've done the same thing. 440 00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,601 You can't go by me. 441 00:19:14,634 --> 00:19:17,133 I'm legendary for my bad judgment. 442 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,501 So, what do we do? 443 00:19:22,534 --> 00:19:24,601 How about if we get out of here? 444 00:19:24,634 --> 00:19:27,534 Well, actually, I'm still getting over that friend 445 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,133 from before, 446 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:30,501 so I think I'd rather just talk. 447 00:19:30,534 --> 00:19:32,334 Okay. 448 00:19:42,968 --> 00:19:44,133 Talk. 449 00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,901 That pretty much covers it. 450 00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:56,367 Is Mike stopping by today? 451 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,167 No. I finally got through to him. 452 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,367 As we speak, he's giving Allison the ring. 453 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,701 Good for him. 454 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,334 And me. Mike was wise 455 00:20:03,367 --> 00:20:06,200 to all my best slacking techniques... 456 00:20:06,234 --> 00:20:07,801 reissuing old memos, 457 00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:10,667 taking a nap in the janitor's closet, 458 00:20:10,701 --> 00:20:14,167 putting a cardboard cutout of myself at my desk 459 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,901 and then leaving early. 460 00:20:15,934 --> 00:20:19,334 Ha ha. Not that I would ever try that on you, boss. 461 00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:20,734 I mean, you're so... 462 00:20:20,767 --> 00:20:24,734 save it. I know all about flat Paul. 463 00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:27,667 You do? When did you find out? 464 00:20:27,701 --> 00:20:29,634 The day I was talking to you 465 00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:32,667 and it was... Interesting. 466 00:20:32,701 --> 00:20:34,000 Can you picture it? 467 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,501 As we speak, Mike is in central park, 468 00:20:36,534 --> 00:20:39,367 standing on a bridge, proposing to Allison. 469 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,801 Hey, guys. 470 00:20:40,834 --> 00:20:43,400 Mike, what are you doing here? What happened to the proposal? 471 00:20:43,434 --> 00:20:45,801 Oh. The engagement is off. 472 00:20:45,834 --> 00:20:47,067 What do you mean off? 473 00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:50,200 Off. You know, not on. 474 00:20:50,234 --> 00:20:52,634 Come on, guys, I was kidding myself. 475 00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:54,100 This is where I belong. 476 00:20:54,133 --> 00:20:56,434 Now, come on, let's go. We got a city to run. 477 00:20:56,467 --> 00:20:59,734 "We"? Yeah. I'm back. 478 00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:28,534 Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog. 479 00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:29,767 [BARKING] 480 00:21:29,801 --> 00:21:32,267 Moo.34473

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