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1
00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:05,901
What a night.
I think I might've
2
00:00:05,934 --> 00:00:08,100
over-celebrated
Mike's engagement.
3
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:09,801
Last time
I drank like that,
4
00:00:09,834 --> 00:00:11,667
I was hitting
on sorority girls.
5
00:00:11,701 --> 00:00:13,968
So... Tuesday.
6
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:18,067
Why did I have that
second piña colada?
7
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:22,100
Damn my weakness
for sweetened coconut.
8
00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:25,534
So, this is what it's like
to be the sober one.
9
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:30,167
No wonder I was so unproductive
in the '90s.
10
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,534
I got to warn you, boss.
11
00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:35,501
I don't think I'm going to be
very helpful today.
12
00:00:35,534 --> 00:00:40,167
The streak continues.
13
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,767
All right, let's get the morning
meeting started.
14
00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:45,767
We need to talk.
15
00:00:45,801 --> 00:00:48,267
Last night, before Mike
announced his engagement,
16
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,634
we were about to kiss.
17
00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:52,133
Charlie, I'm in no condition
for a serious conversation.
18
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:53,567
Can we do it later?
19
00:00:53,601 --> 00:00:56,167
Okay. I'm the sober one
and the one who wants to talk?
20
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,367
If I was still clinging
to my virginity,
21
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,467
I'd be
my college girlfriend.
22
00:01:02,434 --> 00:01:04,400
Seeing as you're all hung over,
23
00:01:04,434 --> 00:01:06,834
I'll try to keep this short
and quiet.
24
00:01:06,868 --> 00:01:08,167
Hello, everyone!
25
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,701
Starting today, I want
to take time each morning
26
00:01:11,734 --> 00:01:14,133
to discuss
our personal lives.
27
00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:16,667
So come on, people,
let's dish.
28
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,801
Well, actually,
I've been feeling
29
00:01:18,834 --> 00:01:20,868
a little melancholy lately,
and I've been...
30
00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:22,501
super. Now me.
31
00:01:22,534 --> 00:01:26,834
Claire has really been
bringing out my romantic side.
32
00:01:26,868 --> 00:01:30,534
This morning, I had the tree
outside of my bedroom window
33
00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:33,834
cut down so that
we could watch the sun rise
34
00:01:33,868 --> 00:01:35,400
over the east river.
35
00:01:35,434 --> 00:01:37,167
The big oak tree?
36
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,901
Sir, that tree was
a historical landmark.
37
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,334
It was planted in 1796
by George Washington.
38
00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:45,167
Well, the good news is,
he's dead.
39
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,267
Besides,
what's the big deal?
40
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,567
I'm sure he planted
other trees.
41
00:01:49,601 --> 00:01:50,734
I don't know.
42
00:01:50,767 --> 00:01:52,701
He was probably too busy
with the whole
43
00:01:52,734 --> 00:01:54,734
"giving birth to a nation"
thing.
44
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:57,234
I'm sorry. I make
a hundred decisions a day,
45
00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:59,133
and it's hard for me
to keep track
46
00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:00,667
of who planted
what tree.
47
00:02:00,701 --> 00:02:03,100
Besides, my gardener
took it down.
48
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:04,934
Well, your gardener's not
running for mayor.
49
00:02:04,968 --> 00:02:07,133
Well, I should hope not.
He's an illegal immigrant.
50
00:02:36,534 --> 00:02:39,767
Hey, everybody,
I want you to meet Allison.
51
00:02:39,801 --> 00:02:41,934
Hi, Allison.
I'm Caitlin.
52
00:02:41,968 --> 00:02:44,501
Mike cannot stop
talking about you.
53
00:02:44,534 --> 00:02:46,234
And I cannot stop
looking at you.
54
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,467
You must be Stuart.
55
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,400
You'll have to
forgive him.
56
00:02:49,434 --> 00:02:52,601
At times, he can be
quite puerile and fatuous.
57
00:02:52,634 --> 00:02:53,968
You must be Carter.
58
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,968
Oh, Mike told you
I was well-spoken.
59
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,133
No, he said you were
a bald black guy.
60
00:03:00,501 --> 00:03:02,634
Allison, I've never seen
Mike happier,
61
00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:05,100
and I should know,
'cause we're best friends.
62
00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:06,467
Ahem. Paul.
63
00:03:06,501 --> 00:03:09,801
Oh. Paul, of course...
Mike's best friend.
64
00:03:09,834 --> 00:03:12,467
So, I have been dying to know.
How did you guys meet?
65
00:03:12,501 --> 00:03:14,300
Well, you know,
I was in the water
66
00:03:14,334 --> 00:03:16,067
at this beautiful
secluded beach
67
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,734
and, uh, started waving
at her.
68
00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:19,100
The next thing I know,
69
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,701
I'm lying in her arms
on the sand.
70
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,200
So it was love
at first sight.
71
00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:25,167
Actually, I was drowning.
72
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,334
She is a hell
of a swimmer.
73
00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:29,901
I had to give Mike
mouth-to-mouth
74
00:03:29,934 --> 00:03:31,501
for nearly five minutes.
75
00:03:31,534 --> 00:03:35,467
You know, to be honest,
I wasn't actually unconscious.
76
00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:36,834
Yeah, I knew that.
77
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:41,868
Unconscious people rarely try
to untie a bikini top.
78
00:03:41,901 --> 00:03:44,334
Well, it was great
meeting you guys.
79
00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:45,968
I'll see you all later.
80
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,734
Come here.
81
00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,467
Bye-bye.
82
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:54,968
Oh, is she great or what?
83
00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:58,267
So, now all I have to do
is buy the ring.
84
00:03:58,300 --> 00:03:59,868
So, Carter, your first job
as my best man
85
00:03:59,901 --> 00:04:01,901
is to pick one out.
I'm on it.
86
00:04:01,934 --> 00:04:04,501
Oh, and, Carter, no male
strippers at the bachelor party.
87
00:04:04,534 --> 00:04:06,367
No problem. Ha.
88
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,868
Damn it.
89
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:16,701
Okay, Charlie, you wanna talk?
Let's talk.
90
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,200
Excellent.
91
00:04:18,234 --> 00:04:20,100
I've been thinking about
where I am in my life.
92
00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:22,901
[GROANS]
93
00:04:22,934 --> 00:04:27,000
That sentence
never leads to fun.
94
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:29,300
I know we almost kissed
last night,
95
00:04:29,334 --> 00:04:31,934
but then Mike got engaged,
and I realized
96
00:04:31,968 --> 00:04:34,067
I want more
than just a fling.
97
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,734
First you want me,
then you don't.
98
00:04:35,767 --> 00:04:37,667
We almost kiss,
then you leave.
99
00:04:37,701 --> 00:04:39,734
I'm through
playing this game.
100
00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:41,501
I wouldn't go home
with you now
101
00:04:41,534 --> 00:04:43,767
unless you asked me.
102
00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:47,000
Charlie, my last two
boyfriends just got engaged.
103
00:04:47,033 --> 00:04:50,534
The next guy I'm with needs
to have long-term potential,
104
00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:52,400
and we both know
that's not you.
105
00:04:52,434 --> 00:04:54,767
That doesn't sound
like me.
106
00:04:54,801 --> 00:04:57,734
Do you have a cigarette?
107
00:04:57,767 --> 00:04:59,467
Yes, I do.
108
00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:04,167
Thanks.
109
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,567
Look at that. You can't stop
hitting on women.
110
00:05:06,601 --> 00:05:08,234
I wasn't hitting on her.
111
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,534
Charlie,
you don't even smoke.
112
00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:12,934
I like to help people.
113
00:05:12,968 --> 00:05:13,968
Hey, buddy,
could I bum a smoke?
114
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,667
What am I...
a vending machine?
115
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:18,734
Charlie, we're friends.
116
00:05:18,767 --> 00:05:21,000
I think that's what
we're meant to be.
117
00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:23,367
Caitlin, there's something
going on here.
118
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,467
Let's give it a chance.
119
00:05:24,501 --> 00:05:25,567
I got to go.
120
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,834
How about I pay you back
for the cigarette
121
00:05:32,868 --> 00:05:34,234
by buying you a drink?
122
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,734
I don't know.
I'm pretty down.
123
00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:38,634
Trouble with
your girlfriend?
124
00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,934
Oh, no, no.
She's not my girlfriend.
125
00:05:40,968 --> 00:05:42,501
It's kind of complicated.
126
00:05:42,534 --> 00:05:44,534
So you want me
to leave?
127
00:05:46,234 --> 00:05:49,100
Not that complicated.
128
00:05:54,234 --> 00:05:56,634
I had a great time
last night.
129
00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:57,968
You were amazing.
130
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,267
You too.
131
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,701
That thing with the ice
cream was a first.
132
00:06:02,734 --> 00:06:07,534
Well, I am
the "good humor" man.
133
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,200
You were really intense.
134
00:06:09,234 --> 00:06:11,400
At one point,
you actually screamed.
135
00:06:11,434 --> 00:06:12,934
It was so primal.
136
00:06:12,968 --> 00:06:16,434
To be honest, I think
I pulled a hamstring.
137
00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:19,834
Look, Jennifer,
138
00:06:19,868 --> 00:06:22,267
I think you're great,
but I'm really not ready for...
139
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:25,734
I'll take this one.
Last night was fun,
140
00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:28,868
but I'm not ready to be
in a relationship right now,
141
00:06:28,901 --> 00:06:31,767
so why don't we accept it
for what it was?
142
00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:34,667
One evening of pure
uncomplicated passion.
143
00:06:34,701 --> 00:06:36,667
Wow. You rejected me,
144
00:06:36,701 --> 00:06:40,367
yet my self-esteem
is completely intact.
145
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,033
It's designed that way.
146
00:06:46,234 --> 00:06:49,200
I'll call you.
147
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,934
Yeah. Thanks.
148
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,601
I can use that.
149
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:06,100
Last night was fun but...
150
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,734
Something
about pure passion.
151
00:07:08,767 --> 00:07:10,033
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
152
00:07:10,067 --> 00:07:14,501
Oh, great, I need you
to say that thing again.
153
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:15,834
Aah!
154
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,234
What?
155
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:19,467
Nothing.
I'm happy to see you.
156
00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:22,234
Caitlin... Aah!
157
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:25,701
I feel bad about the way
we left things last night.
158
00:07:25,734 --> 00:07:26,901
You do?
159
00:07:26,934 --> 00:07:28,234
Yes.
160
00:07:28,267 --> 00:07:29,767
I mean, clearly,
161
00:07:29,801 --> 00:07:31,300
there's something
between us,
162
00:07:31,334 --> 00:07:32,968
but instead
of taking a chance,
163
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,234
I was home trying to cheer
myself up with ice cream.
164
00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:38,033
Me too.
165
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:41,267
Why don't we stop
over-thinking everything
166
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:43,801
and just see
where this leads?
167
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,701
Do you want to go
on a date with me?
168
00:07:45,734 --> 00:07:48,467
Yes. I would love that.
169
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:50,501
Great. I mean,
it's obvious
170
00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:54,200
neither one of us will be able to
move on until we resolve this thing.
171
00:07:54,234 --> 00:07:56,334
Totally obvious.
172
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:00,901
What's this?
173
00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:04,601
Oh, that...
that's my pashmina scarf.
174
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:07,234
You wear
a pashmina scarf?
175
00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:09,434
What...
a man can't feel pretty?
176
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,834
Do you see? I told you
you'd like the cézanne exhibit.
177
00:08:19,868 --> 00:08:21,701
I could never have gotten
Mike to go to that museum.
178
00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:22,968
What is your secret?
179
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,334
See, Carter, the difference
between you and Allison
180
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,234
is what happens
after we see the paintings.
181
00:08:28,267 --> 00:08:30,133
Gotcha.
I don't put out.
182
00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,701
No, you don't shut up.
183
00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:35,767
I've got to get
to the airport.
184
00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:37,334
I'll call you
in a few days.
185
00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:38,901
Stay a little while longer,
okay?
186
00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:41,167
If you miss your flight,
I'll drive you.
187
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,601
I'm going to Brazil.
188
00:08:42,634 --> 00:08:45,367
I know a shortcut
through Honduras.
189
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,067
You know, if there's no
rebel activity,
190
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,133
we're there
in the morning.
191
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:52,200
I'll call you
as soon as I land.
192
00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:53,968
I'll miss you.
193
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,567
I'll miss you more.
194
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,234
She will miss me more.
195
00:09:08,334 --> 00:09:09,901
Mike, if Allison always
travels this much,
196
00:09:09,934 --> 00:09:11,234
you're never going
to see her.
197
00:09:11,267 --> 00:09:14,367
Yeah, I know. That's why
I'm going to quit work.
198
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,400
I'm just going to travel
around with her.
199
00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:18,167
Next month,
we're going to Africa.
200
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,701
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
201
00:09:19,734 --> 00:09:21,200
Mike Flaherty is going
to stop working?
202
00:09:21,234 --> 00:09:22,634
Impossible.
203
00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:25,234
Seeing Allison helped me put
everything in perspective.
204
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,601
I mean, I love politics,
but it became an obsession.
205
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:29,868
My seven years at city hall...
I saw one movie.
206
00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:31,133
"City hall."
207
00:09:31,167 --> 00:09:33,501
I want to get married.
I want to have kids,
208
00:09:33,534 --> 00:09:36,968
and, you know, this is the only
way it's going to happen.
209
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,534
Can't believe I'm hearing you
say that. I am impressed.
210
00:09:39,567 --> 00:09:41,200
All right, well,
if you'll excuse me,
211
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:43,634
Allison told me about a great
exhibit of botticelli nudes.
212
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,167
Botticelli...
his models were...
213
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,901
Chicks.
I'm in.
214
00:09:47,934 --> 00:09:49,801
Julian Wheeler's live
on New York one.
215
00:09:49,834 --> 00:09:52,567
I think he's going to announce
his candidacy for mayor.
216
00:09:52,601 --> 00:09:53,801
Another billionaire politician
217
00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:55,534
who thinks he can buy
the election.
218
00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:59,400
That bastard.
That was our plan.
219
00:09:59,434 --> 00:10:01,067
This was once
a beautiful tree
220
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,367
planted by George Washington.
221
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:07,033
But mayor Winston
has carelessly destroyed
222
00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:09,667
this national treasure,
223
00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,400
just like he's destroying
this great city.
224
00:10:12,434 --> 00:10:14,567
How did he find out
about the tree?
225
00:10:14,601 --> 00:10:16,167
That's all for today.
226
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,367
Mr. Wheeler will be...
227
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,000
Charlie, that's the woman
from the bar.
228
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:23,267
And she's wearing
your pashmina scarf.
229
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:25,601
Tomorrow, you can ask him
any question you want.
230
00:10:25,634 --> 00:10:27,067
Thank you.
231
00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:30,634
You took her home,
didn't you?
232
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:32,434
Well, uh...
233
00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:34,534
Charlie, did you tell her
about the tree?
234
00:10:37,634 --> 00:10:39,300
Ha ha. No.
235
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:42,334
Yes. That tree stands
for 200 years,
236
00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:44,934
he's seeing this woman
for two weeks, and then...
237
00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:48,200
Ya! Ya! Ya!
238
00:10:48,234 --> 00:10:50,467
It's all gone! Ha ha ha!
239
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:55,934
It might've come up.
240
00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:09,100
I had no idea that woman
was his campaign manager.
241
00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:10,234
I'm sorry.
242
00:11:10,267 --> 00:11:12,067
No, no, it's our fault.
From now on,
243
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,400
we'll have Stuart
run background checks
244
00:11:13,434 --> 00:11:15,934
before your one-night stands.
245
00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:17,334
Yes, because if a girl
can live up
246
00:11:17,367 --> 00:11:19,067
to Stuart's lofty
moral standards,
247
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:21,300
there should be no problem.
248
00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:24,767
I cannot believe
she manipulated me like that.
249
00:11:24,801 --> 00:11:26,100
I feel so used.
250
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,667
Oh, shut up.
251
00:11:28,701 --> 00:11:31,267
So when Charlie
gets taken advantage of,
252
00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:32,934
he still has sex
with a hot woman.
253
00:11:32,968 --> 00:11:35,300
Yeah, when I get
taken advantage of,
254
00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:37,534
I pay 200 bucks
for a romex watch.
255
00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:41,501
For the last time, Paul,
a deal's a deal.
256
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,367
Hey, guys. I heard about
your work crisis.
257
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,634
I just wanted to say
good luck.
258
00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:49,167
I mean, obviously
it's not my thing anymore,
259
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,167
so there's no reason for me
to get involved.
260
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,400
Good for you.
261
00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:56,667
If I were
to get involved...
262
00:11:56,701 --> 00:12:00,000
I say you take
the wood from the tree,
263
00:12:00,033 --> 00:12:02,701
and you make something
of value to the city.
264
00:12:02,734 --> 00:12:04,634
That's good, that's good.
265
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,133
In the meantime,
we got to get you
266
00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:08,968
in front of the cameras,
making a sincere apology.
267
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,868
Apologizing is my least
favorite part of the job.
268
00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:15,868
Ironically,
it's what I do the most.
269
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:19,067
We'll need someone to draft a statement.
I'll do it.
270
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,501
And someone's got to deal
with the environmental groups.
271
00:12:20,534 --> 00:12:21,701
I'll do it.
272
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:23,400
And someone should find
that devious woman,
273
00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:26,968
feed her phony information,
and sleep with her.
274
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,067
I'll do it.
275
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:34,767
Hey, Carter,
276
00:12:34,801 --> 00:12:37,534
I'm just going to help out.
I'll make a couple of calls.
277
00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:39,100
Yeah, hi,
this is Mike Flaherty.
278
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,567
Get me the parks commissioner
on the phone, please.
279
00:12:40,601 --> 00:12:42,868
What are you doing? You said
you were done with work.
280
00:12:42,901 --> 00:12:44,801
Carter, come on,
this is fun.
281
00:12:44,834 --> 00:12:46,601
Now, what do you mean
he's busy?
282
00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:49,234
No, you tell him to get
his butt to the phone,
283
00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:51,834
or I will drag Washington's
tree down there,
284
00:12:51,868 --> 00:12:55,367
and I will beat his ass
with it.
285
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,701
See, this is fun.
286
00:13:00,601 --> 00:13:02,934
The revolutionary war
society is planning
287
00:13:02,968 --> 00:13:04,467
to picket city hall.
288
00:13:04,501 --> 00:13:06,200
Find out if we can make
a deal.
289
00:13:06,234 --> 00:13:07,834
I need this asap.
Go, go, go.
290
00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:09,200
We need to talk.
291
00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:10,534
Stay.
292
00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:12,033
Caitlin, I'd love
to talk right now,
293
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,300
but Stuart and I are
in the middle of something,
294
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:15,767
and I wouldn't want you
to feel uncomfortable
295
00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:16,767
expressing yourself.
296
00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:18,868
You are a huge ass.
297
00:13:18,901 --> 00:13:20,567
She seems comfortable.
298
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,801
How could you sleep
with that woman?
299
00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:26,634
After everything
we've been through,
300
00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:28,701
you couldn't make it one hour without
jumping into bed with someone?
301
00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:31,133
The rule is,
you wait 30 minutes.
302
00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:34,067
That's for going swimming
after you eat.
303
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,667
You're the one that wanted
to be friends.
304
00:13:36,701 --> 00:13:38,234
What did I do wrong?
305
00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:39,534
If you cared about me,
306
00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:41,667
you would've taken some time
before moving on.
307
00:13:41,701 --> 00:13:44,033
Caitlin,
we live in a modern world
308
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:47,000
where things happen
so quickly.
309
00:13:47,033 --> 00:13:48,501
It used to take six weeks
to cross the Atlantic,
310
00:13:48,534 --> 00:13:50,501
and now you can fly
in five hours.
311
00:13:50,534 --> 00:13:51,801
So?
312
00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:53,167
So let's talk about that.
313
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,767
And I felt guilty about
leaving you at the bar.
314
00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:59,400
Oh, I can't believe I was up half
the night thinking about you.
315
00:13:59,434 --> 00:14:01,367
Listen, Caitlin, just because
I was with her
316
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,467
doesn't mean
you weren't on my mind.
317
00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:05,234
Ew.
318
00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:07,000
That's not what I...
319
00:14:07,033 --> 00:14:09,734
look, I was really upset
when you said
320
00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,701
I didn't have
long-term potential.
321
00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:13,467
I needed someone
to talk to.
322
00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,000
You actually talked?
323
00:14:15,033 --> 00:14:17,434
A little.
324
00:14:17,467 --> 00:14:19,467
After.
325
00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:29,501
I want you gentlemen to know
we take you very seriously.
326
00:14:29,534 --> 00:14:32,767
George Washington's tree
has been killed,
327
00:14:32,801 --> 00:14:35,434
and it's as upsetting to us
as it is to...
328
00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:36,767
Thee.
329
00:14:36,801 --> 00:14:39,667
What are you proposing?
330
00:14:39,701 --> 00:14:42,234
Well, why don't we name
a bridge after him?
331
00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:44,000
We already have one.
332
00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:45,901
Shh.
333
00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:49,167
I'll tell you what...
we'll give you a statue
334
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,367
in central park and a parade
on presidents' day.
335
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,334
Let us take a vote.
336
00:14:53,367 --> 00:14:54,367
Yea.
337
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,367
Yea.
338
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,834
Yea.
Nay.
339
00:14:56,868 --> 00:14:59,300
Come on, Stan,
you're always so negative.
340
00:14:59,334 --> 00:15:01,834
No wonder none
of the Betsy rosses like you.
341
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:03,567
Uh, gentlemen,
342
00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,901
we've got a lot of fires
to put out here.
343
00:15:05,934 --> 00:15:08,300
Maybe we could reschedule this
for next Tuesday?
344
00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:10,300
Hey. We have lives.
345
00:15:10,334 --> 00:15:13,334
Clearly.
346
00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:15,534
The "post" is going to print
our side of the story.
347
00:15:15,567 --> 00:15:17,634
Okay, Paul,
draft a press release.
348
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,234
I want it
on the 10:00 news.
349
00:15:19,267 --> 00:15:21,534
Stuart, find the mayor,
bring him up to speed,
350
00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:23,067
tell him we go live
in an hour.
351
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:24,167
You, what do you do?
352
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,701
I'm just
a college student.
353
00:15:25,734 --> 00:15:28,033
Graduate, find a job,
retire, move to Boca.
354
00:15:28,067 --> 00:15:29,133
Go, go, go, go, go!
355
00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:30,834
Carter, what do you got
for me?
356
00:15:30,868 --> 00:15:33,100
I, uh, made an appointment
with the jeweler,
357
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,067
and I jotted down
some romantic notes
358
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,567
for you to use when you give
the ring to Allison.
359
00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:39,834
"My dearest..."
360
00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:41,701
That's nice.
361
00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:44,367
"I've loved you
from the moment I saw you...
362
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,000
"Your beautiful brown eyes,
your silky hair,
363
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:50,234
your... Powerful biceps."
364
00:15:50,267 --> 00:15:51,667
Sorry. Wrong notes.
365
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,601
I'm trying to patch things up
with Brad.
366
00:15:54,634 --> 00:15:57,033
I think I can
actually use this.
367
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:59,534
See, I just change
"rugged beard"
368
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,133
to "porcelain skin"
369
00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:04,601
and "firm buttocks" to...
no, actually, that works.
370
00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,133
Hey, we just caught
a break.
371
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,200
Turns out Wheeler made millions
destroying low-income housing
372
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:09,601
building luxury condos.
373
00:16:09,634 --> 00:16:10,934
Great. That's it.
That's our fix.
374
00:16:10,968 --> 00:16:13,634
Let's go map out
the mayor's response.
375
00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:15,434
Mike. What about the ring?
376
00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:18,100
If you want to surprise her with a ring
tomorrow, we've got to leave right now.
377
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:21,167
Why don't you
buy it for me?
378
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,167
And, hey, buy a little
something for Brad...
379
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,534
something that will go with his
sculpted chest and his winning smile.
380
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:29,267
Carter, nice work.
This guy is a fox.
381
00:16:34,634 --> 00:16:36,000
I cannot tell a lie.
382
00:16:36,033 --> 00:16:39,834
I chopped down
George Washington's tree.
383
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,367
It's a regrettable accident,
but we are using the wood
384
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,434
to create a shelter
for the needy.
385
00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:48,400
While my opponent likes
to destroy homes for the poor,
386
00:16:48,434 --> 00:16:52,467
I intend to build them.
387
00:16:52,501 --> 00:16:55,167
Thanks, everyone.
We dodged a bullet.
388
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,467
You do this job
day after day,
389
00:16:57,501 --> 00:17:00,934
and you feel like
you never make a difference.
390
00:17:00,968 --> 00:17:04,567
But today, we stepped up,
and we accomplished something.
391
00:17:04,601 --> 00:17:05,934
And you know what?
392
00:17:05,968 --> 00:17:08,334
It really wasn't
that satisfying.
393
00:17:10,133 --> 00:17:13,033
Well, I'm inspired.
Let's go have another round.
394
00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:15,334
Come on!
Drinks are on...
395
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,767
Coasters.
396
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:29,100
Well, it's been a crazy
couple of days.
397
00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:32,434
Hard to keep track
of who did what,
398
00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:34,767
who slept with who...
399
00:17:34,801 --> 00:17:37,200
Good news is,
everything's back to normal.
400
00:17:37,234 --> 00:17:38,534
I got to go.
401
00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:41,701
Wait.
You can't be mad at me.
402
00:17:41,734 --> 00:17:43,834
Why not?
Because you know me.
403
00:17:43,868 --> 00:17:46,334
When it comes to women,
I'm a screwup.
404
00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:47,734
It's who I am.
405
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,434
Do you get mad at the sun
for rising
406
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,534
or the wind for blowing
or a rooster for...
407
00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:54,000
please stop talking.
408
00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:57,067
Can I say one more thing?
409
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,334
What?
410
00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,534
I'm sorry.
411
00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:05,234
I never meant to make you feel
like you weren't important to me.
412
00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:08,067
I know.
You don't have to apologize.
413
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:11,100
Just because I was home obsessing
about our relationship
414
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,234
doesn't mean
you shouldn't have fun.
415
00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:14,801
Well, to be honest,
416
00:18:14,834 --> 00:18:16,734
I would rather have hung out
with you.
417
00:18:16,767 --> 00:18:18,734
Thanks.
418
00:18:18,767 --> 00:18:22,334
So, friends?
419
00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:25,534
Friends.
420
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,534
You know, sometimes I admire
the way
421
00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:30,567
you can just have a good time
without even thinking twice.
422
00:18:30,601 --> 00:18:32,267
I'll let you in
on a secret.
423
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:33,868
I don't even think once.
424
00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:35,934
Good night, Charlie.
425
00:18:35,968 --> 00:18:37,534
Good night.
426
00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:45,934
Hi.
427
00:18:45,968 --> 00:18:47,300
Can we talk?
428
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:48,634
Well, if it isn't
429
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:50,534
Ms. "pick me up,
take me home,
430
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:54,601
and get information
about a tree" lady.
431
00:18:56,033 --> 00:18:58,734
That sounded better
in my head.
432
00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:00,267
Look, Charlie,
when we met,
433
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:01,968
I didn't know
where you worked.
434
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:02,968
I just liked you.
435
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,467
And then you told me
that story
436
00:19:05,501 --> 00:19:06,901
about the mayor...
437
00:19:06,934 --> 00:19:09,601
Ya! Ya! Ya!
438
00:19:09,634 --> 00:19:10,834
I had to use it.
439
00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:12,767
Come on, you would've done
the same thing.
440
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,601
You can't go by me.
441
00:19:14,634 --> 00:19:17,133
I'm legendary
for my bad judgment.
442
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,501
So, what do we do?
443
00:19:22,534 --> 00:19:24,601
How about
if we get out of here?
444
00:19:24,634 --> 00:19:27,534
Well, actually, I'm still
getting over that friend
445
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,133
from before,
446
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:30,501
so I think I'd rather
just talk.
447
00:19:30,534 --> 00:19:32,334
Okay.
448
00:19:42,968 --> 00:19:44,133
Talk.
449
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,901
That pretty much covers it.
450
00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:56,367
Is Mike stopping by today?
451
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,167
No. I finally
got through to him.
452
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,367
As we speak, he's giving
Allison the ring.
453
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,701
Good for him.
454
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,334
And me. Mike was wise
455
00:20:03,367 --> 00:20:06,200
to all my best slacking
techniques...
456
00:20:06,234 --> 00:20:07,801
reissuing old memos,
457
00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:10,667
taking a nap
in the janitor's closet,
458
00:20:10,701 --> 00:20:14,167
putting a cardboard cutout
of myself at my desk
459
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,901
and then leaving early.
460
00:20:15,934 --> 00:20:19,334
Ha ha. Not that I would ever
try that on you, boss.
461
00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:20,734
I mean, you're so...
462
00:20:20,767 --> 00:20:24,734
save it. I know
all about flat Paul.
463
00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:27,667
You do?
When did you find out?
464
00:20:27,701 --> 00:20:29,634
The day I was talking
to you
465
00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:32,667
and it was... Interesting.
466
00:20:32,701 --> 00:20:34,000
Can you picture it?
467
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,501
As we speak,
Mike is in central park,
468
00:20:36,534 --> 00:20:39,367
standing on a bridge,
proposing to Allison.
469
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,801
Hey, guys.
470
00:20:40,834 --> 00:20:43,400
Mike, what are you doing here?
What happened to the proposal?
471
00:20:43,434 --> 00:20:45,801
Oh. The engagement
is off.
472
00:20:45,834 --> 00:20:47,067
What do you mean off?
473
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:50,200
Off. You know, not on.
474
00:20:50,234 --> 00:20:52,634
Come on, guys,
I was kidding myself.
475
00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:54,100
This is where I belong.
476
00:20:54,133 --> 00:20:56,434
Now, come on, let's go.
We got a city to run.
477
00:20:56,467 --> 00:20:59,734
"We"?
Yeah. I'm back.
478
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:28,534
Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
479
00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:29,767
[BARKING]
480
00:21:29,801 --> 00:21:32,267
Moo.34473
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