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1
00:00:01,434 --> 00:00:02,834
Last time on "spin city"...
2
00:00:02,868 --> 00:00:04,367
Who would have thought
3
00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:06,634
that you'd end up being
my best friend?
4
00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:09,167
Who would have thought?
5
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,634
I-I can't do this.
6
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,901
Oh, Charlie,
I think you're confused.
7
00:00:18,934 --> 00:00:21,501
What you meant to say was,
"yes, thank you."
8
00:00:22,834 --> 00:00:24,267
I'm sorry.
9
00:00:25,701 --> 00:00:28,968
Look, I was confused
about my feelings for you,
10
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,200
but now I'm not.
11
00:00:30,234 --> 00:00:32,934
We're friends,
and that's what's important.
12
00:00:32,968 --> 00:00:34,367
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]
13
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,434
CAITLIN: Anyway,
I really respect
14
00:00:36,467 --> 00:00:39,267
that you put our friendship
ahead of sex,
15
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,200
and I have to admit
as I lie here in the tub,
16
00:00:41,234 --> 00:00:43,200
covered in bubbles
with the candles going,
17
00:00:43,234 --> 00:00:46,434
it's probably better
you're not here.
18
00:00:46,467 --> 00:00:50,234
She's taking
a bubble bath.
19
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:53,467
What the hell
am I doing here?
20
00:00:55,534 --> 00:00:59,400
And now...
21
00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:03,033
Can I come in?
22
00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:05,200
Well, this is a surprise.
23
00:01:08,801 --> 00:01:09,968
Mmm.
24
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,067
And don't you worry
about my needs.
25
00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:14,934
I just want to give you
the most pleasure possible.
26
00:01:14,968 --> 00:01:16,834
If you insist.
27
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:20,200
[ROMANTIC SOUL MUSIC PLAYING]
28
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:35,901
MAN'S VOICE: Yo, buddy,
that'll be $6.75.
29
00:01:35,934 --> 00:01:38,133
That'll be $6.75.
30
00:01:39,434 --> 00:01:41,567
Hey!
31
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,300
Thanks, but I'll take my tip
in cash.
32
00:01:44,334 --> 00:01:46,634
You don't know
what you're missing.
33
00:01:53,501 --> 00:01:54,534
Can I come in?
34
00:01:54,567 --> 00:01:55,968
Well, this is a surprise.
35
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,234
Oh, Caitlin.
36
00:01:59,267 --> 00:02:01,133
I just kissed
Jackie chan.
37
00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:05,067
Please tell me you didn't
come back for sex.
38
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:06,501
Sex? No.
39
00:02:06,534 --> 00:02:08,400
No, God, no.
40
00:02:08,434 --> 00:02:12,534
I came back because
I forgot my... Keys...
41
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:15,000
And my condom.
42
00:02:15,033 --> 00:02:17,767
Charlie, I was upset earlier,
you were very sweet,
43
00:02:17,801 --> 00:02:19,234
and we had a moment.
44
00:02:19,267 --> 00:02:21,701
That's all it was.
The window is closed.
45
00:02:21,734 --> 00:02:23,234
So we'll open it.
46
00:02:23,267 --> 00:02:25,534
We'll re-create the moment.
47
00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:26,934
Now...
48
00:02:26,968 --> 00:02:29,601
You were upset...
Wah-wah...
49
00:02:29,634 --> 00:02:31,400
I gave you a hug...
50
00:02:31,434 --> 00:02:32,968
whoa, whoa, whoa,
take it easy.
51
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,901
I'm not here just to be
another notch on your bedpost.
52
00:02:34,934 --> 00:02:36,100
Oh, please.
53
00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:38,634
I don't put notches
on my bedpost.
54
00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:40,567
It's all on computer now.
55
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:44,901
Caitlin, this isn't
just about sex.
56
00:02:44,934 --> 00:02:48,601
I value our friendship, too,
but I think we can have more.
57
00:02:49,968 --> 00:02:51,434
Let me try
to open the window.
58
00:02:51,467 --> 00:02:54,934
Okay, but the odds are,
like, a million to one.
59
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:57,534
That's the spirit.
60
00:02:57,567 --> 00:03:01,100
You relax,
I'll get us some wine.
61
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:04,767
Wine...
62
00:03:04,801 --> 00:03:07,901
the wd-40
of window-opening.
63
00:03:10,434 --> 00:03:12,767
[DOORBELL RINGS]
64
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:16,801
This is a playful
little vintage,
65
00:03:16,834 --> 00:03:18,567
and it goes great with...
66
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,133
Another guy.
67
00:03:51,567 --> 00:03:52,901
Look at you.
68
00:03:52,934 --> 00:03:55,367
You spent a month in Costa Rica?
You never take vacations.
69
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,601
Yeah, well, I realized
it was time to take a break
70
00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:59,734
when I fell asleep
while briefing a congressman.
71
00:03:59,767 --> 00:04:03,267
How embarrassing. Yeah, especially
since I was driving at the time.
72
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:04,701
You know,
73
00:04:04,734 --> 00:04:07,267
I just went down there
for one week,
74
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:10,367
and then I met someone
and I just kept going.
75
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,067
You must have
some great stories.
76
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,334
Probably too many to tell
right now.
77
00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:17,934
Maybe you should
go back to your hotel
78
00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:19,367
and type them up
for tomorrow.
79
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,334
Look, Charlie,
Caitlin and I, you know,
80
00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:23,000
we dated,
but we're just friends.
81
00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:25,400
So, you know, I don't want
to get in the way here.
82
00:04:25,434 --> 00:04:27,167
What? Why would you
be in the way?
83
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,200
Come on. It's late,
84
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:31,200
there's a bottle of wine,
85
00:04:31,234 --> 00:04:33,767
there's a condom
over there.
86
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:36,734
It's not like that.
87
00:04:36,767 --> 00:04:38,300
It's a little like that.
88
00:04:39,534 --> 00:04:40,734
Maybe I should go.
89
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:42,400
No, no, no. I'll go.
90
00:04:42,434 --> 00:04:44,367
That would be better.
91
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,834
I told the guys
I'd meet them
92
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,267
after I left here,
93
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:48,767
so, you guys,
you enjoy yourself,
94
00:04:48,801 --> 00:04:50,467
and I'll see you tomorrow.
95
00:04:50,501 --> 00:04:53,200
Michael!
96
00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:54,667
Mikey!
97
00:04:56,133 --> 00:04:59,167
Look at you.
You look great.
98
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:03,434
Hey, Charlie's here.
And there's a condom.
99
00:05:03,467 --> 00:05:04,767
Guys, guys,
we gotta work tomorrow.
100
00:05:04,801 --> 00:05:06,667
I don't think the mayor would
be too happy if he knew...
101
00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:08,868
did someone say party?
102
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,868
Caitlin.
103
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,801
I was up half the night.
104
00:05:19,834 --> 00:05:22,601
I have a new theory
on getting the window open.
105
00:05:22,634 --> 00:05:24,501
Let's try again,
but this time
106
00:05:24,534 --> 00:05:27,734
without your old boyfriend
and the entire city hall staff.
107
00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:30,367
Charlie, you can't force
a moment like we had.
108
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,267
Romance has to be
spontaneous.
109
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,267
Look, I'm not good
at this.
110
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:38,167
All I know is I'm a man,
you're a woman.
111
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,200
Let's do stuff.
112
00:05:40,234 --> 00:05:42,868
And you say you're not
good at this.
113
00:05:42,901 --> 00:05:46,434
You're being unrealistic
about this romance stuff.
114
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:49,634
I'm telling you,
guys just aren't like that.
115
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:51,667
So I take her for this
romantic walk on the beach.
116
00:05:51,701 --> 00:05:55,167
I mean, there's a breeze,
there's these wildflowers,
117
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,200
two doves,
two white doves,
118
00:05:57,234 --> 00:05:59,901
just floating
in lazy circles above us.
119
00:05:59,934 --> 00:06:02,400
It was the perfect
romantic moment.
120
00:06:04,767 --> 00:06:06,968
You should wear a bell
around your neck
121
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,300
so I know where you are.
122
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:12,000
Mike, I've never seen you
looking so happy and relaxed.
123
00:06:12,033 --> 00:06:13,968
Well, you know what?
It's Allison. It's Allison.
124
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:18,100
I think of her,
and I just smile.
125
00:06:18,133 --> 00:06:20,000
Okay, see that?
126
00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:21,567
So when do we
get to meet her?
127
00:06:21,601 --> 00:06:24,434
Uh, you can't. She's gone.
What do you mean?
128
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,934
Well, she works for
the world wildlife fund,
129
00:06:26,968 --> 00:06:28,434
so she's going
on a 6-month trip tomorrow,
130
00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:30,934
and I gotta go back
to Washington,
131
00:06:30,968 --> 00:06:33,434
so, you know,
it just can't work.
132
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:35,434
Mike, we know you.
You can make anything work.
133
00:06:35,467 --> 00:06:37,133
For God's sake,
you made Paul work.
134
00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:39,467
How could you just
let her go?
135
00:06:39,501 --> 00:06:40,801
PAUL: What if
she's the one?
136
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,501
What if you spend the rest
of your life searching
137
00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:44,033
and you never find anyone
as perfect as her?
138
00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:45,667
Okay, where the hell
were you guys
139
00:06:45,701 --> 00:06:47,133
when I said goodbye to her?
140
00:06:47,167 --> 00:06:49,601
It's no big deal. Just call her,
tell her you made a mistake.
141
00:06:49,634 --> 00:06:51,567
I can't. I mean,
I know she's in town,
142
00:06:51,601 --> 00:06:53,601
but I have no idea
where she's staying.
143
00:06:53,634 --> 00:06:55,133
We'll help you find her,
right, guys?
144
00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:56,834
Absolutely.
We'll check hotels.
145
00:06:56,868 --> 00:06:58,033
I'll start with
the four seasons.
146
00:06:58,067 --> 00:07:00,133
Oh, they have a great Sushi bar.
147
00:07:00,167 --> 00:07:01,701
Oh, it's been so long
since I had great Sushi.
148
00:07:01,734 --> 00:07:03,901
No, no, no, they have
a scallop roll... unbelievable!
149
00:07:03,934 --> 00:07:04,968
Oh, that is my favorite.
150
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,534
Let's go eat.
151
00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:10,467
Can I still fire them?
152
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:13,968
She sounds great, Mike.
I'm really happy for you.
153
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,167
If it wasn't for
my relationship with you,
154
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,701
there's no way I'd be
a good enough person for her.
155
00:07:18,734 --> 00:07:22,167
Oh, that's such
a nice thing to say.
156
00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:32,234
Did you hear the way
Mike was talking about Allison?
157
00:07:32,267 --> 00:07:34,434
That's the way
a romance should start.
158
00:07:34,467 --> 00:07:36,434
Oh, come on,
you can't go by Mike.
159
00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:37,801
No guy is that romantic.
160
00:07:38,934 --> 00:07:41,567
To your beauty.
161
00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:44,033
These guys are killing me.
Oh, excuse us.
162
00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:45,901
Oh, no,
Charlie, Caitlin, stay.
163
00:07:45,934 --> 00:07:48,767
Uh, judge Simmons and I
were just, um,
164
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,400
testing the wine
165
00:07:50,434 --> 00:07:54,701
that they serve inmates
with their last meals.
166
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:59,133
Oh, yes,
I think they'll enjoy this.
167
00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:02,334
Because nothing complements
168
00:08:02,367 --> 00:08:05,367
a lethal injection
like a nice Merlot.
169
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,634
It's nice to see
both of you again.
170
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:09,634
I'll call you later,
Mr. mayor?
171
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:12,734
Your honor,
what kind of food will the...
172
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:14,801
Prisoners be having tonight?
173
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,000
Well, there's
one special prisoner
174
00:08:18,033 --> 00:08:20,100
I'd like to invite over
for a homemade lasagna.
175
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,801
But will the prisoner
have access
176
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,267
to the parking garage
177
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,734
so his limo
doesn't get scratched again?
178
00:08:24,767 --> 00:08:28,567
You want the lasagna,
be there at 8:00.
179
00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:30,534
Okay? Bye.
180
00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:33,200
Sir, we know you're
dating judge Simmons.
181
00:08:33,234 --> 00:08:34,834
You don't have to hide it.
182
00:08:34,868 --> 00:08:36,901
Really?
Because it would be great
183
00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:38,634
if I didn't have to
keep coming up
184
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:40,667
with these clever covers,
like this inmate thing.
185
00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:43,400
Yeah. That'd be great
for all of us.
186
00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:44,734
It's good for your image
187
00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:47,133
to be seen with a woman
like judge Simmons.
188
00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:49,634
And don't be afraid
to show her a little affection
189
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:51,334
in public.
The voters like that.
190
00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:54,133
When you're with someone, it
makes you seem more desirable.
191
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,300
That may be true,
but I've always had
192
00:08:56,334 --> 00:08:58,834
a certain quality
that women find irresistible.
193
00:08:58,868 --> 00:08:59,934
You're filthy rich?
194
00:08:59,968 --> 00:09:02,501
That would be it.
195
00:09:02,534 --> 00:09:04,467
Yeah, I need to know
if your hotel
196
00:09:04,501 --> 00:09:06,367
has a guest named
Allison Wright,
197
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:07,567
and I'm short on time.
198
00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:08,567
What?
199
00:09:08,601 --> 00:09:10,634
A beautiful speaking voice?
200
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:11,934
Why, thank you.
201
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:15,601
You know, in high school
I did toy with the idea
202
00:09:15,634 --> 00:09:17,267
of going into acting.
203
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:20,167
Tell me, do you have
an Allison Wright there?
204
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,067
No. Okay.
Listen, tell me,
205
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:24,434
do you have
a brunch special there?
206
00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:26,534
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
207
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:27,701
Hello.
208
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,067
Oh, hey, Mike.
Let me put you on speaker.
209
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:31,100
Any luck?
210
00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:32,467
No. I've been
to six museums,
211
00:09:32,501 --> 00:09:34,601
four department stores,
even the zoo.
212
00:09:34,634 --> 00:09:36,100
I'm getting desperate here.
213
00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:37,534
Mike, it's Stuart.
214
00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:40,467
I had a police sketch artist
draw a picture of Allison.
215
00:09:40,501 --> 00:09:42,501
Well, if it's
from your description,
216
00:09:42,534 --> 00:09:44,934
I'm guessing it's a picture
of Daisy Fuentes
217
00:09:44,968 --> 00:09:46,033
in a wet t-shirt.
218
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:47,834
Ah, you think
you know me, but...
219
00:09:47,868 --> 00:09:49,601
That's wet, all right.
220
00:09:49,634 --> 00:09:51,467
Keep us posted, Mike.
221
00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:56,234
Caitlin,
I wanted to apologize.
222
00:09:56,267 --> 00:09:57,834
With all the commotion
around here,
223
00:09:57,868 --> 00:09:59,100
I haven't had a chance
224
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:00,367
to make jokes
about you and Charlie.
225
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,534
That's all right.
226
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:02,767
No, it isn't.
227
00:10:02,801 --> 00:10:04,634
You count on me
for juvenile humor
228
00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:07,400
and I've let you down.
But I want you to know,
229
00:10:07,434 --> 00:10:09,334
I'm working on a variation
of the old
230
00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:11,567
"Charlie and Caitlin
sitting in a tree" thing.
231
00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:12,801
I don't want to spoil it,
232
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:14,601
but I won't be spelling
"kissing."
233
00:10:16,501 --> 00:10:18,334
I'm gonna go
over here now.
234
00:10:19,801 --> 00:10:22,767
Caitlin.
These are for you.
235
00:10:22,801 --> 00:10:24,701
Charlie, those are
the mayor's flowers.
236
00:10:24,734 --> 00:10:26,667
Not anymore.
237
00:10:26,701 --> 00:10:28,501
Now they're yours.
238
00:10:28,534 --> 00:10:30,033
Romantic, huh?
239
00:10:30,067 --> 00:10:32,834
It's cute the way
you're trying so hard.
240
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,334
Hey, the mayor's on TV.
241
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:39,734
REPORTER: Mr. mayor,
Mr. mayor, a picture.
242
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:40,834
The voters should like this.
243
00:10:40,868 --> 00:10:42,934
Ah, that's sweet.
244
00:10:42,968 --> 00:10:45,601
CARTER:
Ah, he's looking good.
245
00:10:47,701 --> 00:10:49,868
Whoa!
Oh, my God.
246
00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:51,601
I said a little affection,
247
00:10:51,634 --> 00:10:53,367
not cinemax after midnight.
248
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:54,868
We've got a problem.
249
00:10:54,901 --> 00:10:57,167
Some guy just called complaining
about the mayor
250
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,767
groping judge Simmons
in public.
251
00:10:58,801 --> 00:11:01,367
How could it be a problem?
It's 2001.
252
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,501
Well, it was her husband.
That's one way.
253
00:11:12,567 --> 00:11:15,367
What do you mean she's only
technically married? She's separated,
254
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,400
but her husband hasn't signed
the divorce papers yet.
255
00:11:17,434 --> 00:11:18,734
I had no idea.
256
00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:20,367
Claire said
she didn't tell me,
257
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,701
well, because she didn't want
to complicate the beginnings
258
00:11:23,734 --> 00:11:24,934
of our relationship.
259
00:11:24,968 --> 00:11:26,701
Why would a guy
not sign divorce papers?
260
00:11:26,734 --> 00:11:28,300
Is he trying
to set a record
261
00:11:28,334 --> 00:11:30,133
for most years married
with no sex?
262
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:31,734
Well, if he is,
he should know
263
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:34,767
the road to that record
goes through me.
264
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,367
Well, separated or not,
265
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,300
the press is going
to run with this.
266
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:41,868
We've got to get her husband
to sign those papers.
267
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,200
Get on that for me, Ringo.
268
00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:45,100
Oh, because of my suit.
269
00:11:45,133 --> 00:11:49,300
I'll have you know that
this is the height of fashion.
270
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:53,200
Yeah, if you're
an 18th century spice merchant.
271
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,767
What are you doing?
272
00:12:01,801 --> 00:12:04,868
Oh, I was just wondering
what you had planned next...
273
00:12:04,901 --> 00:12:07,200
a big heart-shaped
box of chocolates,
274
00:12:07,234 --> 00:12:09,000
a giant stuffed
Teddy bear?
275
00:12:09,033 --> 00:12:11,267
Or maybe Paul
dressed up like cupid.
276
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:14,267
Real nice. Make fun
of the intimacy gimp.
277
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,200
And I may not know
what romance is,
278
00:12:17,234 --> 00:12:18,400
but I do not it's not Paul
279
00:12:18,434 --> 00:12:20,100
wearing little wings
and a diaper.
280
00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:22,634
Too late, Paul.
281
00:12:31,434 --> 00:12:34,968
So, you want me to sign
my divorce papers
282
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,067
so the mayor can date Claire
without causing a scandal?
283
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,734
That's how it lays out,
sport.
284
00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:42,234
Here's a little tip...
285
00:12:42,267 --> 00:12:45,234
she used to love the way
I nibbled on her ears.
286
00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:46,734
Sir, I am a gentleman,
287
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,634
and I'd prefer that you
behave like one, too.
288
00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,133
Thank you.
289
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:53,901
Nibble... Ears...
290
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,200
Look, if you don't
sign those papers,
291
00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:58,567
this whole thing
is going to turn
292
00:12:58,601 --> 00:12:59,834
into one big media frenzy.
293
00:12:59,868 --> 00:13:02,067
Funny. That's exactly
what my publisher said.
294
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:03,234
Your publisher?
295
00:13:03,267 --> 00:13:05,534
I've decided to write a book
about all this.
296
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:08,100
It should come out, uh,
right before the election.
297
00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:10,100
Come on. You don't really
want to do that.
298
00:13:10,133 --> 00:13:12,267
Don't try to talk him
out of it.
299
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,300
Let him write
his trashy book.
300
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:16,868
Hand it out at the polls.
We don't care.
301
00:13:16,901 --> 00:13:18,200
Actually, we do care.
302
00:13:18,234 --> 00:13:20,234
You know what?
I'll even help.
303
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,901
I'll write a chapter called
304
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:24,300
"I haven't had an orgasm
since 1992."
305
00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:29,133
Last night was really close.
306
00:13:29,167 --> 00:13:31,868
Really close!
307
00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:35,033
If you'll excuse me...
308
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,467
I have a lot of writing
to do.
309
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:43,100
I can't believe
I married that guy.
310
00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:44,767
Don't let this
upset you, Claire.
311
00:13:44,801 --> 00:13:47,434
The important thing right now
is that we take the high road.
312
00:13:47,467 --> 00:13:48,834
You're right.
313
00:13:50,267 --> 00:13:52,801
I won't stoop
to his level.
314
00:13:52,834 --> 00:13:53,868
Bye.
315
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:57,234
That's my girl.
I'll call you.
316
00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:59,601
She's a pistol.
317
00:13:59,634 --> 00:14:02,334
Sir, being involved
with a married woman
318
00:14:02,367 --> 00:14:05,133
is going to be a tough sell
to the voters.
319
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,300
I hate to say this,
320
00:14:07,334 --> 00:14:09,100
but I think you have to
stop seeing her.
321
00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:11,968
Charlie, this is
the first good relationship
322
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,167
I've had in years.
323
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,334
Claire is beautiful,
intelligent,
324
00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:16,501
caring.
325
00:14:16,534 --> 00:14:19,567
Come on, be a guy,
hook me up.
326
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:20,868
Launching a campaign
327
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,634
during a scandal like this
is suicide.
328
00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:24,100
I disagree.
329
00:14:24,133 --> 00:14:26,133
In this day and age,
voters are very forgiving.
330
00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:27,667
Then why is the mayor's
approval rating
331
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,167
down eight points
since the story broke?
332
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,501
I say we ride it out.
333
00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:32,567
And I respect the mayor
for being so committed
334
00:14:32,601 --> 00:14:34,567
to a woman, and I think
the voters will, too.
335
00:14:34,601 --> 00:14:38,367
Sir, as mayor, you're able
to help millions of people.
336
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,901
We can't jeopardize that.
337
00:14:39,934 --> 00:14:42,601
Oh, damn it, Charlie,
I know you're right.
338
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,901
There are other fish
in the sea, sir.
339
00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:48,334
Well, that may be so,
340
00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:50,734
but Claire is
a very special fish.
341
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:52,634
Yes, but you are
a very skilled fisherman.
342
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:55,701
Don't try to change
the subject.
343
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,300
Hey, Mike.
344
00:15:03,334 --> 00:15:05,434
Hey, Charlie.
345
00:15:05,467 --> 00:15:07,100
Two more.
346
00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:08,267
So, how's it going?
347
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:09,601
Not so well.
348
00:15:09,634 --> 00:15:11,968
I told the mayor to be
a little more affectionate
349
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,200
with his girlfriend
in public, and...
350
00:15:14,234 --> 00:15:17,968
he made out with her
and grabbed her ass on TV.
351
00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:19,634
You saw that on the news?
352
00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:22,300
No, I worked with the guy
for five years.
353
00:15:22,334 --> 00:15:24,701
I didn't know that was
his "go to" move.
354
00:15:24,734 --> 00:15:27,400
You get him around
a pretty woman,
355
00:15:27,434 --> 00:15:30,567
he's on her like a schnauzer
on a pant leg.
356
00:15:30,601 --> 00:15:33,234
So how'd you handle it?
357
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,834
I told him
he had to stop seeing her.
358
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,400
You'd have made
the same call, right?
359
00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:38,133
Absolutely,
that's what I would have done.
360
00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:39,667
But see, that was my problem.
361
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:42,067
I was always putting work
in front of relationships.
362
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:44,000
See, my priorities
were all screwed up.
363
00:15:44,033 --> 00:15:46,167
I don't know
if they're screwed up.
364
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,400
You know how it is.
365
00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:50,067
Sometimes relationships
have to take a back seat.
366
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,934
So how do you like
being deputy mayor?
367
00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:54,701
Oh, it's great,
it's great.
368
00:15:54,734 --> 00:15:57,434
You get all
the stress of being mayor
369
00:15:57,467 --> 00:16:00,434
without the burden
of credit, money, and power.
370
00:16:02,567 --> 00:16:05,234
No, seriously, it's been
a real second chance for me.
371
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:07,701
Yeah, you know,
I heard about your exploits
372
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,234
down in Washington.
373
00:16:09,267 --> 00:16:11,200
You gotta tell me this...
did you really...
374
00:16:11,234 --> 00:16:12,934
yes.
375
00:16:12,968 --> 00:16:17,534
Whatever it is,
I'm sure I did it.
376
00:16:17,567 --> 00:16:20,200
I tell you, you got
quite the legacy around here.
377
00:16:20,234 --> 00:16:22,167
My first month
all I heard was,
378
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,234
"Mike's brilliant.
379
00:16:23,267 --> 00:16:25,834
"Mike's a tough negotiator.
380
00:16:25,868 --> 00:16:28,634
Mike's the sweetest boy
with the cutest button nose."
381
00:16:28,667 --> 00:16:31,968
I told my mom
not to call you.
382
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,334
Not that you need it,
383
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,601
but if I was gonna give you
any advice,
384
00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:38,067
this is it, okay?
Keep the mayor happy.
385
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:41,133
If he's happy, the rest of it
just falls into place.
386
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,200
I'll keep that in mind.
387
00:16:43,234 --> 00:16:44,934
I'm glad we talked.
388
00:16:44,968 --> 00:16:47,567
Yeah, me too.
389
00:16:47,601 --> 00:16:49,300
Hey, Charlie?
390
00:16:49,334 --> 00:16:51,300
Yeah.
391
00:16:51,334 --> 00:16:53,934
Our knees are touching.
392
00:16:55,234 --> 00:16:57,334
What should we do?
393
00:16:57,367 --> 00:16:59,667
On the count of three,
I say we just swivel.
394
00:16:59,701 --> 00:17:01,701
1...
2...
395
00:17:01,734 --> 00:17:02,734
3.
396
00:17:05,901 --> 00:17:07,267
Nice.
397
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:17,200
You should all be
very proud of yourselves
398
00:17:17,234 --> 00:17:19,167
for winning
the city championship.
399
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,601
[CHEERING]
400
00:17:20,634 --> 00:17:23,934
The lessons that you learn
on the field of play
401
00:17:23,968 --> 00:17:27,067
will help you throughout
your entire lives.
402
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:29,667
And remember, kids,
enjoy this now,
403
00:17:29,701 --> 00:17:31,334
because win or lose,
404
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:34,167
more than half of you
are going to end up
405
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,534
divorced and alone.
406
00:17:38,968 --> 00:17:39,968
Sir.
407
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,567
Hmm? Oh, hey, Charlie.
408
00:17:41,601 --> 00:17:44,300
Just giving them
the old knute rockne.
409
00:17:45,601 --> 00:17:46,634
I heard.
410
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:48,234
Very inspirational.
411
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:49,467
What's up?
412
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:52,133
Don't break things off
with Claire.
413
00:17:52,167 --> 00:17:55,267
Date her, be seen with her,
whatever you want.
414
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:56,567
What about the election?
415
00:17:56,601 --> 00:17:58,400
It'll make things tougher,
but so what?
416
00:17:58,434 --> 00:17:59,868
We'll just work harder.
417
00:17:59,901 --> 00:18:01,968
Claire makes you happy,
and that's all that matters.
418
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,534
Thank you, Charlie.
And trust me,
419
00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:08,000
with Claire by my side,
I'll be a better candidate,
420
00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:09,601
more focused than ever.
421
00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:11,033
I'll see you Monday.
422
00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:12,534
Uh, today's Wednesday.
423
00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:14,300
Yeah, I know.
424
00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:21,868
I am proud to say that yes,
425
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:25,267
judge Simmons and I do have
a personal relationship.
426
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:27,033
Legally she's still married,
427
00:18:27,067 --> 00:18:29,434
but come on, people, let's be
realistic about this...
428
00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:30,734
her marriage was finished
429
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:32,367
when she got separated
over a year ago.
430
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,067
Now it's just paperwork.
431
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:36,167
REPORTER: Judge Simmons,
anything to add?
432
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,100
I'd simply like
to thank the mayor
433
00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:43,067
for his dignified handling
of this delicate matter.
434
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:44,100
Thank you.
435
00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:50,868
Okay.
436
00:18:50,901 --> 00:18:53,667
We'll just change
the campaign slogan
437
00:18:53,701 --> 00:18:56,167
to "Winston loves
new yorkers...
438
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,334
One at a time."
439
00:18:57,367 --> 00:18:58,667
Charlie, I'm proud of you.
440
00:18:58,701 --> 00:19:00,801
That was a very sweet thing
you did for the mayor.
441
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:03,167
You're a real softie.
Don't get carried away.
442
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,567
I realized it'd be tough to win
with a depressed mayor.
443
00:19:06,601 --> 00:19:08,367
My decision was 99% political.
444
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,901
And one percent sweet?
445
00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:13,267
Maybe one percent sweet,
446
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,634
and sweet byproducts.
447
00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:20,367
Well, I, uh,
I find that one percent...
448
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,534
Very attractive.
449
00:19:23,567 --> 00:19:27,534
Actually, when I run
the numbers through my head,
450
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:30,868
the sweet part comes out
closer to 20%.
451
00:19:30,901 --> 00:19:34,300
Really? I like 20%.
452
00:19:34,334 --> 00:19:36,667
Then you're gonna love this,
453
00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:38,868
because it was 100% sweet.
454
00:19:38,901 --> 00:19:41,367
Do you hear that?
455
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,868
Hear what?
456
00:19:42,901 --> 00:19:45,133
I think it's the sound
of a window opening.
457
00:19:46,334 --> 00:19:47,734
The window's open?
458
00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:49,400
Yes.
459
00:19:49,434 --> 00:19:51,367
It's because I did
the right thing
460
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,767
for the mayor, right?
461
00:19:52,801 --> 00:19:55,334
I was like a sensitive guy,
and that turns you on...
462
00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:57,200
shh, shh.
Don't analyze it.
463
00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:01,267
Just go with it.
464
00:20:05,934 --> 00:20:08,267
Guess what!
Mike found Allison!
465
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:10,567
Oh, Mike,
really, that's great.
466
00:20:10,601 --> 00:20:12,267
And that's not even
the best part.
467
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:13,601
Go ahead,
tell her, Mike.
468
00:20:13,634 --> 00:20:15,467
He proposed!
They're getting married.
469
00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:18,400
Wow, Carter,
that was amazing.
470
00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,133
I didn't even feel
my lips move.
471
00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:23,234
Sorry, Mike.
Congratulations.
472
00:20:23,267 --> 00:20:25,534
Oh, what the hell?
473
00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:29,634
Let's... let's...
let's go celebrate.
474
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:35,200
They're just killing me.
475
00:21:03,234 --> 00:21:04,434
Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
476
00:21:04,467 --> 00:21:05,667
(BARKING)
477
00:21:05,701 --> 00:21:08,167
Moo.34155
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