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1
00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:06,504
MAN: My son?
MAN #2: Yes?
2
00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:09,908
I know I may not have
always been the greatest father,
3
00:00:09,942 --> 00:00:11,543
but I always loved you.
4
00:00:11,577 --> 00:00:13,477
Then why did you leave?
5
00:00:13,512 --> 00:00:14,512
[SNIFFLES]
6
00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:16,814
One day,
you'll understand.
7
00:00:16,848 --> 00:00:20,051
It's dusty in here.
8
00:00:20,085 --> 00:00:22,487
[VOICE BREAKING]
My allergies are killin' me.
9
00:00:22,521 --> 00:00:27,659
MAN #1: ...But you learned
that life is very complicated.
10
00:00:27,693 --> 00:00:29,994
Which one is the father?
11
00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:33,231
I think it's the tall one.
12
00:00:33,265 --> 00:00:37,001
They're talking again,
Mike.
13
00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:38,303
Shh.
14
00:00:38,337 --> 00:00:40,539
Remember, sir,
we're just here
15
00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:43,074
to show our support
for Broadway.
16
00:00:43,108 --> 00:00:46,445
[CRINKLING]
17
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,179
I can't get the candy open!
18
00:00:48,213 --> 00:00:49,414
What?
19
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:52,016
I don't know how much
more of this I can take.
20
00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:53,585
Shh!
21
00:00:53,619 --> 00:00:56,087
Just tune them out.
22
00:00:56,121 --> 00:01:02,026
I'm gonna open this
if it's the last thing I do!
23
00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:03,562
[GRUNTS]
24
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:05,330
What the...
25
00:01:08,367 --> 00:01:10,068
there, was that so hard?
26
00:01:10,102 --> 00:01:12,938
Now, the father's the one
that's dying,
27
00:01:12,972 --> 00:01:16,475
the one that he keeps calling
his son is his son!!
28
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:20,211
So, why don't you just sit there
and be quiet, you...
29
00:01:20,245 --> 00:01:21,245
Geezers!!
30
00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:26,050
Wait... I know you!
31
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,585
Aren't you...
32
00:01:27,619 --> 00:01:33,190
that's right, ma'am.
It's TV's dick van dyke.
33
00:01:33,225 --> 00:01:34,859
Carry on.
34
00:01:34,893 --> 00:01:36,795
[ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYS]
35
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:02,720
Where is Caitlin?
36
00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:05,390
Was she out
with her ex-husband again?
37
00:02:05,424 --> 00:02:07,458
This is really startin'
to affect her work.
38
00:02:07,492 --> 00:02:09,660
You're right. She isnearly nine seconds late.
39
00:02:09,695 --> 00:02:11,563
This is not about Caitlin
specifically.
40
00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:13,064
It's just
we're a team here,
41
00:02:13,098 --> 00:02:14,632
and if we're gonna win,
42
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:17,769
we got to be here every day,
on time, ready to work.
43
00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:21,706
Oh! Huge traffic jam!
I'm sorry I'm late.
44
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:23,307
Didn't notice, don't care.
45
00:02:24,910 --> 00:02:28,079
Okay, next item...
city-hall tours.
46
00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:30,115
Some visitors
have been complaining...
47
00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:32,083
finally! I've been
saying for months
48
00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:34,686
that those tour guides
are inept and misinformed.
49
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,488
...complaining about
a crazy black man...
50
00:02:39,191 --> 00:02:43,327
...following them,
berating the tour guides.
51
00:02:43,361 --> 00:02:46,731
And lastly, the mayor's
little blowup at the theater.
52
00:02:46,765 --> 00:02:50,101
It seems he's outraged
local senior citizens' groups.
53
00:02:50,135 --> 00:02:52,536
They're planning a march
on Broadway
54
00:02:52,571 --> 00:02:55,006
from 18th street
to 19th street.
55
00:02:56,642 --> 00:02:59,744
You gave them one block?
56
00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:02,213
It's all they asked for.
57
00:03:02,247 --> 00:03:05,784
Well, that
and 300 porta-potties.
58
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:08,887
This is bad. Those old people
know how to rally.
59
00:03:08,921 --> 00:03:12,523
They kept "murder, she wrote"
on the air for nine years.
60
00:03:12,557 --> 00:03:14,558
I've come up
with a plan to make amends.
61
00:03:14,593 --> 00:03:16,094
I did a little research.
62
00:03:16,128 --> 00:03:18,863
The first woman to vote
in New York is still alive.
63
00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:20,965
She's 107.
She was born in 1892.
64
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,902
The mayor's gonna honor her
tomorrow at a ceremony
65
00:03:23,936 --> 00:03:25,336
on live television.
66
00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:29,174
My great-aunt alberta
was born in 1881.
67
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:33,844
Wow. That makes her...119.
What's she doing now?
68
00:03:33,879 --> 00:03:35,213
She's dead.
69
00:03:35,247 --> 00:03:37,415
Thanks for bringing me down,
Nikki.
70
00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:40,418
Okay, class dismissed.
71
00:03:42,521 --> 00:03:46,124
Oh, morning, Mike.
Sorry I missed the meeting.
72
00:03:46,158 --> 00:03:48,860
I was having breakfast
with my mom.
73
00:03:48,894 --> 00:03:52,263
Love, you forgot
your briefcase.
74
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,965
See you tonight.
75
00:03:53,999 --> 00:03:55,500
[SMOOCHING]
76
00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:58,402
Did you know your mom
was an annoying British guy?
77
00:03:58,437 --> 00:04:01,572
Mike, I know
this must bother you.
78
00:04:01,606 --> 00:04:04,809
Bother me?!
W-wh would it bother me?
79
00:04:04,843 --> 00:04:06,044
Well, you know.
80
00:04:06,078 --> 00:04:09,047
You and I have been
kind of flirting...
81
00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:12,917
Hey, missy, listen...
I flirt with a lot of people.
82
00:04:12,951 --> 00:04:14,986
Hey, janelle!
83
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,355
How 'bout some fries
with that shake, huh?
84
00:04:17,389 --> 00:04:20,291
What did you say?
85
00:04:20,359 --> 00:04:23,828
I said... Uh...
86
00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:25,596
Can I have some
fries and a shake?
87
00:04:25,630 --> 00:04:26,931
A-and a burger.
88
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:29,700
F-for lunch,
if you're goin' out.
89
00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:33,237
And if you're not,
y-you just keep that $50.
90
00:04:34,373 --> 00:04:36,241
Hey.
91
00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:38,176
Hey.
92
00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:41,179
James... Who was that?
93
00:04:41,213 --> 00:04:42,947
Oh, I don't know his name.
94
00:04:42,981 --> 00:04:45,616
You just said "hey"
to him.
95
00:04:45,651 --> 00:04:48,953
Yeah, that's been going on
for a few weeks now.
96
00:04:48,987 --> 00:04:52,924
Pass each other in the hall,
he says, "hey," I say, "hey."
97
00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:56,961
Sometimes we tilt our heads,
give a little eyebrow raise.
98
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:58,896
Wow.
99
00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:02,299
Sounds fun.
100
00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:03,968
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
101
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:06,470
You should
get yourself a "hey" guy.
102
00:05:06,505 --> 00:05:09,541
Please! I barely have
enough time for Claudia!
103
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:10,942
That's it.
104
00:05:10,976 --> 00:05:13,278
If anybody needs me,
I will be out of the office
105
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:14,779
for the rest of the day.
106
00:05:14,813 --> 00:05:16,047
Out of the office?
107
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:18,383
Sounds like my kind
of project!
108
00:05:18,417 --> 00:05:20,385
An apartment building
on 79th street
109
00:05:20,419 --> 00:05:22,353
is discriminating
against gay couples.
110
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:23,988
What can I do to help?
111
00:05:24,022 --> 00:05:26,091
You can help me bust them
112
00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:29,194
by posing
as my gay live-in lover.
113
00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,632
Gay live-in lover...
114
00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:38,103
Work.
115
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,205
Let's get 'em, girlfriend!
116
00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:49,713
Caitlin! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Where you going?
117
00:05:49,748 --> 00:05:51,916
We were heading out
to lunch.
118
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,684
No, no, no!
You can't. Not now.
119
00:05:53,719 --> 00:05:55,920
I got a huge crisis in there.
I need you.
120
00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:57,355
I'll wait for you.
121
00:05:57,389 --> 00:05:59,223
No, no, Trevor, listen...
122
00:05:59,257 --> 00:06:01,259
this is big.
This is big and huge.
123
00:06:01,293 --> 00:06:03,861
This could take days, weeks,
maybe months.
124
00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:06,864
You should go back
to your own country for a while.
125
00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:08,399
I'll call you.
126
00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:10,802
This better be important!
127
00:06:10,836 --> 00:06:12,069
Oh, it is.
128
00:06:12,104 --> 00:06:13,437
[CLEARS THROAT]
129
00:06:13,472 --> 00:06:15,406
I'd like you
to meet miss Spencer.
130
00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:17,708
She's New York's
oldest living voter.
131
00:06:17,743 --> 00:06:19,611
And this
was the emergency?
132
00:06:19,645 --> 00:06:21,946
She's gonna cast
a symbolic vote
133
00:06:21,980 --> 00:06:25,483
for mayor Winston tomorrow
in a live televised ceremony.
134
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:27,384
Oh, I can't vote
for the mayor.
135
00:06:27,419 --> 00:06:28,953
Why not?
136
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:33,091
You don't have
one senior citizen working here
137
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:34,492
at city hall.
138
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,528
So, why don't you
give her a job?
139
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,196
Oh, that's good.
140
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:41,766
No more lunches with Trevor
for you.
141
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,868
I need you too much.
142
00:06:58,917 --> 00:07:00,251
Just so we're clear,
143
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,987
the two of us will be
living here together
144
00:07:03,021 --> 00:07:05,456
with all that
that implies.
145
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,025
Of course.
146
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:10,961
It's a great space,
one of our larger two-bedrooms.
147
00:07:10,996 --> 00:07:14,999
Two bedrooms! Of course,
we're only gonna be using one...
148
00:07:15,033 --> 00:07:17,234
With all that
that implies.
149
00:07:17,268 --> 00:07:19,837
Yeah. I'm picking that up.
150
00:07:19,871 --> 00:07:23,774
Well, everything
seems in order.
151
00:07:23,808 --> 00:07:25,743
There is just one problem.
152
00:07:25,777 --> 00:07:27,278
Uh-huh. Yeah.
Here it comes.
153
00:07:27,312 --> 00:07:29,414
There's only one key
to the laundry room.
154
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:31,082
Aha!! Bigots!
155
00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:34,018
Bigots... Hardware,
156
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:36,887
where I'm sure
I can get this key copied.
157
00:07:42,861 --> 00:07:46,197
[RINGING]
158
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:54,372
[RINGING CONTINUES]
159
00:07:54,406 --> 00:07:57,942
Are you gonna get that?
160
00:07:57,976 --> 00:08:01,211
I don't trust
those contraptions.
161
00:08:01,246 --> 00:08:03,013
I'll tell you what...
162
00:08:03,048 --> 00:08:05,683
why don't you
go get me a cup of coffee?
163
00:08:05,717 --> 00:08:08,619
Thank you. Janelle,
can you cover my phones?
164
00:08:08,653 --> 00:08:11,255
Not unless there's
another $50 in it for me.
165
00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:16,294
Just... just...
right over there.
166
00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:36,347
Hey.
167
00:08:36,381 --> 00:08:37,615
Hey.
168
00:08:41,987 --> 00:08:43,221
Whoa.
169
00:08:43,255 --> 00:08:44,922
What the hell
are you doing?
170
00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:46,257
What?
171
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,394
Oh! I took your advice.
I got myself a "hey" guy.
172
00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:52,096
No, no.
That's my "hey" guy.
173
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:55,699
You can't just steal
a guy's "hey" guy.
174
00:08:55,733 --> 00:08:56,868
Why not?
175
00:08:56,902 --> 00:08:59,169
Because
it's just not done.
176
00:08:59,204 --> 00:09:02,073
You get yourself
your own "hey" guy.
177
00:09:02,107 --> 00:09:05,109
Look, don't blame meif you couldn't satisfy him.
178
00:09:07,545 --> 00:09:10,547
The guy was looking
for a "hey"...
179
00:09:10,582 --> 00:09:12,516
I just gave it to him.
180
00:09:12,550 --> 00:09:14,785
One last budget thing...
expense reports.
181
00:09:14,819 --> 00:09:16,854
Under additional
office expenditures,
182
00:09:16,888 --> 00:09:18,423
Paul listed his groceries,
183
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:23,160
his new bedroom furniture,
and a bikini wax.
184
00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:25,529
All right, well,
no on the groceries,
185
00:09:25,563 --> 00:09:27,598
no on the furniture,
and, uh...
186
00:09:27,632 --> 00:09:30,067
Give him the bikini wax,
because, uh...
187
00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:32,669
I don't want
to have that conversation.
188
00:09:34,406 --> 00:09:37,074
The pressroom is all set up
for the live broadcast.
189
00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:39,243
They're ready for you
and miss Spencer.
190
00:09:39,277 --> 00:09:41,612
Listen, I'm sorry
I had to reschedule this
191
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,747
to coincide with your lunch
with Trevor.
192
00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:45,115
Yeah, thanks to you,
193
00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:47,051
I've had to cancel
tw lunches in a row.
194
00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:49,487
I thought
you were okay with this.
195
00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:51,855
Oh, yeah, I am.
Fine, fine, fine.
196
00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:53,991
Date the Duke of dork.
197
00:09:54,025 --> 00:09:55,226
One for me.
198
00:09:56,595 --> 00:09:58,596
If you don't want
to have a mature,
199
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:01,098
adult conversation
about this, that's fine.
200
00:10:01,132 --> 00:10:03,534
You know what?
Hey, listen...
201
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:06,537
date him, marry him,
move to england.
202
00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:08,639
Just don't drink the water.
203
00:10:08,673 --> 00:10:11,642
That's Mexico.
204
00:10:11,676 --> 00:10:13,511
Whatever. 2-zip.
205
00:10:13,545 --> 00:10:16,981
I am not gonna stoop
to your level.
206
00:10:17,015 --> 00:10:18,516
Oh, 'cause you can't!
207
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:20,718
Pbht!
208
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:24,589
Son of a...
that's 2-1.
209
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:26,391
Come on, let's go.
210
00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:28,459
Where's miss Spencer?
211
00:10:28,493 --> 00:10:29,793
She's not with you?
212
00:10:29,827 --> 00:10:32,263
No, I sent her
for a cup of coffee,
213
00:10:32,297 --> 00:10:33,797
like, 10 minutes ago.
214
00:10:33,831 --> 00:10:35,299
Last time I saw her,
215
00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:38,069
she was zipping
through the hallways.
216
00:10:38,103 --> 00:10:40,704
Zipping?
217
00:10:40,739 --> 00:10:43,741
Asleep on a chair
being dragged around
218
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:45,076
by a mail cart.
219
00:10:45,110 --> 00:10:47,578
And you
didn't do anything?!
220
00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,614
Already got my mail.
221
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:53,117
All right.
Well, let's not panic.
222
00:10:53,151 --> 00:10:56,220
We find that cart,
we find miss Spencer.
223
00:11:00,392 --> 00:11:02,159
There goes that theory.
224
00:11:10,769 --> 00:11:13,403
Okay, janelle, call security.
Seal the building.
225
00:11:13,438 --> 00:11:15,873
Paul, distribute
miss Spencer's photo.
226
00:11:15,907 --> 00:11:17,774
Shouldn't
we call her parents?
227
00:11:17,809 --> 00:11:19,476
I don't know, James.
228
00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:22,179
I wouldn't want
to get her grounded.
229
00:11:23,314 --> 00:11:24,482
What's all the commotion?
230
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:26,150
Oh, uh, sir,
231
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:29,220
um, I don't know how
to break this to you,
232
00:11:29,254 --> 00:11:31,722
but, uh...
We lost miss Spencer.
233
00:11:31,756 --> 00:11:33,291
I'm sorry.
234
00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:34,892
[SIGHS]
235
00:11:34,926 --> 00:11:36,593
It's okay, Mike.
236
00:11:36,628 --> 00:11:38,463
We weren't that close.
237
00:11:40,999 --> 00:11:42,300
N-no, sir,
238
00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,469
we just don't know
where she's gone.
239
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:46,304
She led a good life.
240
00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:48,272
I'm sure it's heaven.
241
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,875
Me too, sir.
242
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:56,113
So, how do we find
a 107-year-old woman?
243
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,348
I say we bait her out.
244
00:11:58,383 --> 00:11:59,917
Yeah, Paul.
245
00:11:59,951 --> 00:12:03,354
We set up an early-bird buffet
and blast Lawrence Welk.
246
00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:05,189
And I'll get some porno.
247
00:12:06,491 --> 00:12:10,360
Old people love porno.
248
00:12:10,395 --> 00:12:14,832
Maybe that's just my Nana.
249
00:12:14,866 --> 00:12:17,168
All right, people,
we go live in half an hour.
250
00:12:17,202 --> 00:12:19,303
Our fugitive's been on the run
for 15 minutes.
251
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,705
The average foot speed
of a 107-year-old woman
252
00:12:21,739 --> 00:12:23,540
is .003 Miles per hour.
253
00:12:23,575 --> 00:12:26,844
I want a hard-artery search
of every janitor closet,
254
00:12:26,878 --> 00:12:29,847
supply closet, lunchroom,
boardroom, pressroom.
255
00:12:29,881 --> 00:12:31,682
Time is of the essence.
256
00:12:31,716 --> 00:12:34,185
She's getting smaller
every second.
257
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:37,454
That's everything.
258
00:12:37,488 --> 00:12:40,057
Hey, where's rags?
259
00:12:42,794 --> 00:12:44,228
You packed rags?!
260
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,297
Don't worry,
I bubble-wrapped him.
261
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:51,235
Oh, there you are, puppy.
262
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,936
Look at this place!
263
00:12:52,971 --> 00:12:54,104
It's great!
264
00:12:54,139 --> 00:12:55,673
Yeah.
265
00:12:55,707 --> 00:12:57,541
Picture windows,
oak molding.
266
00:12:57,576 --> 00:12:59,443
And the jets in the jacuzzi
267
00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:01,312
are aimed
right where you want 'em.
268
00:13:01,346 --> 00:13:04,515
Can you believe they let us in?
It was so easy.
269
00:13:04,549 --> 00:13:08,919
Yeah... A little too easy.
270
00:13:08,953 --> 00:13:10,454
What are you talking
about?
271
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:12,289
They found out
I work for the city.
272
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:14,325
They're renting us this
just to shut us up.
273
00:13:14,359 --> 00:13:16,327
We finally scored
a great apartment.
274
00:13:16,361 --> 00:13:18,496
Do you have to see a conspiracy
in everything?
275
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:22,132
They got to you,
didn't they?
276
00:13:22,167 --> 00:13:24,335
Hey!
277
00:13:24,369 --> 00:13:25,802
Hey!
278
00:13:25,837 --> 00:13:27,438
Hey!
Hey!
279
00:13:27,472 --> 00:13:28,706
Hey!
280
00:13:30,775 --> 00:13:31,809
Hey!
281
00:13:31,843 --> 00:13:32,910
Hey!
282
00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:37,614
Hey?
283
00:13:37,648 --> 00:13:39,283
Hey!
284
00:13:39,317 --> 00:13:40,550
Hey!
285
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:43,921
Hey.
286
00:13:43,955 --> 00:13:45,256
Hey!
Hey!
287
00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:46,656
Hey!
Hey!
288
00:13:46,691 --> 00:13:49,559
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
289
00:13:49,594 --> 00:13:52,129
Miss Spencer is nowhere
in the building.
290
00:13:52,163 --> 00:13:53,497
Ah, well...
291
00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:54,932
We go live in 10 minutes.
292
00:13:54,966 --> 00:13:56,934
Any chance getting you
in a gray wig and...
293
00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:59,002
actually, you know,
the sweater works.
294
00:13:59,037 --> 00:14:00,571
When we were dating,
295
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:03,240
you told me
this sweater was sexy.
296
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:07,077
Yeah, when it was balled up
on my bedroom floor.
297
00:14:07,111 --> 00:14:08,845
So, I saw Trevor downstairs.
298
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,382
Are you still trying
to break them up?
299
00:14:11,416 --> 00:14:13,384
Yes, and I think
I have something.
300
00:14:13,418 --> 00:14:14,751
I went online.
301
00:14:14,786 --> 00:14:16,920
It turns out,
when Trevor went to Oxford,
302
00:14:16,954 --> 00:14:19,056
he plagiarized
an entire paragraph
303
00:14:19,090 --> 00:14:22,259
from his commencement speech
from Winston Churchill.
304
00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:23,794
Is caitie around?
305
00:14:23,828 --> 00:14:25,662
No, but can you come here?
306
00:14:25,696 --> 00:14:27,131
Come on in.
307
00:14:27,165 --> 00:14:28,332
Sure.
308
00:14:28,366 --> 00:14:30,468
So, uh, mate...
309
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,504
...I know your secret.
310
00:14:33,538 --> 00:14:36,207
What are you talking about?
311
00:14:36,241 --> 00:14:38,475
Oh, come on,
come on, come on,
312
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,377
don't play dumb with me.
313
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:42,079
Oxford, your speech.
314
00:14:42,113 --> 00:14:43,747
What about my speech?
315
00:14:43,781 --> 00:14:45,683
Well, let's just say
it's a little...
316
00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:47,784
oh, I don't know...
how should we put it...
317
00:14:47,819 --> 00:14:49,220
borrow.
318
00:14:49,254 --> 00:14:50,387
[LAUGHS]
319
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,856
Michael,
you're embarrassing yourself.
320
00:14:52,890 --> 00:14:55,859
Caitie fancies me over you,
so you're grasping at straws.
321
00:14:55,893 --> 00:14:57,261
Fine, fine, fine.
322
00:14:57,295 --> 00:14:58,929
Let's just see
how caitie feels
323
00:14:58,963 --> 00:15:00,898
when she finds out
that your speech...
324
00:15:00,932 --> 00:15:04,635
[AMERICAN ACCENT] Okay,
so the accent's a phony!
325
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,703
You got me.
I'm not English.
326
00:15:06,737 --> 00:15:09,540
I was gonna say,
"was plagiarized."
327
00:15:09,574 --> 00:15:12,610
[BRITISH ACCENT]
Oh, right, right.
328
00:15:12,644 --> 00:15:14,345
The speech!
329
00:15:14,379 --> 00:15:17,782
Bit of a sticky wicket,
that was...
330
00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:19,883
bloody embarrassing.
331
00:15:24,389 --> 00:15:25,756
This is awesome!
332
00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:27,925
[AMERICAN ACCENT]
You won't tell caitie?
333
00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:30,127
Hey, listen, Trevor,
your secret is safe with...
334
00:15:30,161 --> 00:15:31,462
[LAUGHS]
335
00:15:31,496 --> 00:15:33,497
Damn it!
I almost got that out!
336
00:15:40,772 --> 00:15:43,106
Where's miss Spencer?
We're down to the wire here.
337
00:15:43,141 --> 00:15:45,676
Mike, guess who I found?
338
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:48,044
And she's alive.
339
00:15:48,079 --> 00:15:49,647
Miss Spencer!
340
00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:51,549
Oh, thank God you're okay.
341
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:54,385
Here's your coffee,
Mr. flemings.
342
00:15:56,087 --> 00:15:59,089
So I guess that "hey" guy
won't be around anymore.
343
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,190
Yeah.
344
00:16:00,224 --> 00:16:02,526
The sad thing is, uh...
345
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:06,664
[VOICE BREAKING] He was about
the best friend I ever had.
346
00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:11,034
Hey.
347
00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:15,506
Hey?
348
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:18,241
Hey!
349
00:16:18,276 --> 00:16:20,311
[SNIFFLES]
350
00:16:20,345 --> 00:16:22,112
Hey!
351
00:16:22,146 --> 00:16:25,248
Hey.
352
00:16:25,283 --> 00:16:28,151
Hey!
353
00:16:28,186 --> 00:16:31,188
No, it just doesn't work.
354
00:16:31,222 --> 00:16:32,956
Welcome, everybody.
355
00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:36,360
We are here today to reach out
to senior-citizen voters
356
00:16:36,394 --> 00:16:39,863
by honoring the first woman ever
to have voted in New York City
357
00:16:39,897 --> 00:16:42,599
as she casts a symbolic vote
for Winston!
358
00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:50,407
At age 107,
here's miss saundra Spencer!
359
00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:52,576
[PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYS]
360
00:16:56,848 --> 00:16:58,549
[MUSIC STOP]
361
00:16:59,917 --> 00:17:01,985
[MUSIC RESUMES]
362
00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:09,126
[MUSIC STOP]
363
00:17:10,495 --> 00:17:12,296
[MUSIC RESUMES]
364
00:17:18,403 --> 00:17:20,937
There you have it,
ladies and gentlemen.
365
00:17:20,972 --> 00:17:23,374
New York City's
oldest woman voter
366
00:17:23,408 --> 00:17:26,076
casting her vote
for senator Winston.
367
00:17:26,110 --> 00:17:27,711
[BELL DINGS]
368
00:17:29,714 --> 00:17:32,082
Did I mention she's 107?
369
00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:35,753
Mike...
370
00:17:35,787 --> 00:17:38,222
I wouldn't.
Caitlin and Trevor are in there.
371
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,257
I wonder
how she's taking it.
372
00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:41,458
CAITLIN: You ass!
373
00:17:41,492 --> 00:17:42,826
[GLASS BREAKS]
374
00:17:44,162 --> 00:17:46,230
Better than I thought.
375
00:17:46,264 --> 00:17:48,332
Caitie, chill!
376
00:17:48,366 --> 00:17:50,167
CAITLIN: Chill?!
377
00:17:50,201 --> 00:17:51,701
Ugh!
378
00:17:51,736 --> 00:17:55,005
So, uh...
Did you tell her yet?
379
00:17:57,175 --> 00:18:00,311
And now Mike slides in
to pick up the pieces.
380
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:03,414
And what a lot of pieces.
381
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:06,850
Can you believe him? We were
married for three months,
382
00:18:06,884 --> 00:18:09,787
and the whole time
he was a fraud, a sham, a liar!
383
00:18:09,821 --> 00:18:12,255
It's understandable
that you're mad right now.
384
00:18:12,290 --> 00:18:14,425
I just want you to know
that if you need me,
385
00:18:14,459 --> 00:18:16,760
I am here for you.
386
00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:20,965
Ugh!
387
00:18:23,034 --> 00:18:25,536
Actually, you know what?
I'll be out here for you.
388
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:33,511
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
389
00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:46,423
I told you...
390
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,559
you leave the brie out,
this is what happens.
391
00:18:48,593 --> 00:18:50,594
This is all part
of my sting operation.
392
00:18:50,628 --> 00:18:51,862
That building manager
393
00:18:51,896 --> 00:18:54,030
may be able to stomach
one token gay couple,
394
00:18:54,065 --> 00:18:55,932
but let's see him deal
with this.
395
00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:58,669
Mr. Heywood,
may I have a word?
396
00:18:58,703 --> 00:19:00,137
See? See?
397
00:19:00,171 --> 00:19:02,706
Let me guess... you have
a problem with this party.
398
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:05,876
No, I got you another key
to the laundry room.
399
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:11,415
And I love doing laundry
because I'm gay.
400
00:19:12,483 --> 00:19:13,817
Oh, my God! Flames!
401
00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:16,219
That's right, pal.
I'm flaming. Nice.
402
00:19:16,254 --> 00:19:17,855
No, fire!
403
00:19:17,889 --> 00:19:19,390
Everybody out!
404
00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:21,358
We're already out, pal,
and proud of it!
405
00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:24,728
Carter, the place is on fire!
Come on!
406
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:27,364
No, no, no.
That's exactly what he wants.
407
00:19:27,398 --> 00:19:28,932
I'm staying right here.
408
00:19:28,966 --> 00:19:31,468
[FIRE ALARM BEEPING]
409
00:19:31,502 --> 00:19:34,170
Oh, I think
I made my point!
410
00:19:41,345 --> 00:19:43,614
This could be
another 15 minutes
411
00:19:43,648 --> 00:19:46,083
before it's ready
to throw again.
412
00:19:46,117 --> 00:19:47,685
I'm sorry about that.
413
00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:50,120
I-I was kind of upset
earlier.
414
00:19:50,154 --> 00:19:51,722
But, uh, listen...
415
00:19:51,756 --> 00:19:54,124
now that you've, uh,
calmed down a little
416
00:19:54,158 --> 00:19:56,293
and, uh, put Trevor
behind you,
417
00:19:56,327 --> 00:19:59,263
maybe we could go out
and get some dinner.
418
00:19:59,297 --> 00:20:03,033
I haven't put Trevor
behind me.
419
00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:04,301
Really?
420
00:20:04,335 --> 00:20:06,002
Where'd you put him?
421
00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:10,273
Look...
422
00:20:10,308 --> 00:20:13,176
he came to me,
and we had a long talk,
423
00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:15,612
and he told me
that he felt terrible
424
00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:17,280
about hurting me,
425
00:20:17,315 --> 00:20:19,983
and it was all based
on insecurity.
426
00:20:20,017 --> 00:20:23,620
And in a weird way,
I actually feel closer to him.
427
00:20:27,158 --> 00:20:31,094
All right...
let me get this straight.
428
00:20:31,128 --> 00:20:36,299
The guy fakes an accent...
And you like him even more.
429
00:20:38,035 --> 00:20:39,470
Yes.
430
00:20:39,504 --> 00:20:42,706
[INDIAN ACCENT] Then there is
something I must be telling you.
431
00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:50,580
Hey, Stuart.
432
00:20:50,614 --> 00:20:54,051
I just want to thank you
for saving rags from the fire.
433
00:20:54,085 --> 00:20:56,220
Saving him?
I was just using him
434
00:20:56,254 --> 00:20:58,722
to shield my face
from the flames.
435
00:20:58,756 --> 00:21:00,190
I'm glad no one got hurt.
436
00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:03,494
It's amazing the fire department
got there so quickly.
437
00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:06,763
Yeah...
A little too quickly.
438
00:21:08,032 --> 00:21:10,868
Maybe they staged it
to get us out.
439
00:21:10,902 --> 00:21:12,636
Carter, think about it.
440
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:14,270
You started the fire.
441
00:21:14,305 --> 00:21:16,273
Oh, they're good!
442
00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:20,143
MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.
443
00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:21,411
(BARKING)30584
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