Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,106 --> 00:00:08,306
Aaah!
2
00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:09,608
Aaah!
3
00:00:11,611 --> 00:00:13,011
Paul, it's 6:00 a.m.
4
00:00:13,045 --> 00:00:15,113
What the hell
are you doin' here?!
5
00:00:15,147 --> 00:00:17,982
I was takin' a sponge bath
in the men's room.
6
00:00:18,017 --> 00:00:20,251
By the way,
I borrowed your deodorant.
7
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:22,987
And now my deodorant
needs a shave.
8
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:26,158
What happened to you?
9
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,859
Claudia kicked you out.
10
00:00:27,893 --> 00:00:30,461
No, Claudia did notkick me out.
11
00:00:30,496 --> 00:00:32,096
Her mother did.
12
00:00:33,699 --> 00:00:34,866
I don't understand.
13
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:37,569
I mean, Claudia cooked
a wonderful meal.
14
00:00:37,603 --> 00:00:39,370
My mother-in-law was happy,
15
00:00:39,405 --> 00:00:43,041
and then we had a huge fight
when I gave her the bill.
16
00:00:43,075 --> 00:00:46,378
Paul, have a seat.
17
00:00:46,412 --> 00:00:49,447
Paul,
the health department...
18
00:00:55,988 --> 00:00:57,054
let's stand.
19
00:00:57,089 --> 00:00:58,923
Paul, the health department
20
00:00:58,957 --> 00:01:02,060
does not allow people
to sleep in city hall.
21
00:01:02,094 --> 00:01:05,130
That's it... no exceptions.
That's the rule.
22
00:01:05,164 --> 00:01:06,431
All right.
23
00:01:06,465 --> 00:01:09,167
I'll just bring my stuff
over your place tonight.
24
00:01:09,201 --> 00:01:10,669
City hall it is.
25
00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:12,470
No pets, no parties,
26
00:01:12,504 --> 00:01:16,508
and, for the love of God,
get some underwear.
27
00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:19,043
[ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYS]
28
00:01:44,136 --> 00:01:46,704
Next item... we need a volunteer
to mentor a new intern.
29
00:01:46,738 --> 00:01:48,239
Who wants
to dedicate some time
30
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,241
to exposing a young mind
to city hall?
31
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:51,709
I wouldn't mind exposing...
32
00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:54,579
Stuart, don't make me
put you in the cage.
33
00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:58,617
Aw, come on, people!
34
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:00,985
Mentoring is a rewarding,
meaningful experience,
35
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:02,987
and I get tickets
to the Knicks game.
36
00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:04,889
So, in short,
Nikki, you got him.
37
00:02:04,923 --> 00:02:06,458
Why can't Carter do it?
38
00:02:06,492 --> 00:02:07,892
Unfortunately,
I'm swamped.
39
00:02:07,926 --> 00:02:10,695
I'd relish the opportunity
to shape a fertile mind.
40
00:02:10,729 --> 00:02:11,796
I'd like to shape a fer...
41
00:02:11,864 --> 00:02:13,198
Stuart, cage!
42
00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:19,604
I'm sorry I'm late.
Traffic was murder.
43
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,807
You're commuting
from the copy room!
44
00:02:25,878 --> 00:02:27,212
Somebody, please!
45
00:02:27,246 --> 00:02:29,247
Just take Paul in
for a couple of days.
46
00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:31,415
He can stay with me.
You can have the top bunk.
47
00:02:33,652 --> 00:02:36,287
You live alone.
Why do you need bunk beds?
48
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,589
Hello!
In case I get lucky.
49
00:02:40,826 --> 00:02:42,460
Mike,
I just wanted you to know
50
00:02:42,494 --> 00:02:45,163
I'm canceling the mayor's
campaign-commercial shoot.
51
00:02:45,197 --> 00:02:46,297
Why?
52
00:02:46,365 --> 00:02:48,233
I didn't think
it was the right way to go.
53
00:02:48,267 --> 00:02:50,601
That's a good idea,
'cause who knows
54
00:02:50,635 --> 00:02:53,571
if this whole "television" thing
will catch on.
55
00:02:53,605 --> 00:02:55,606
Meeting adjourned.
56
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,876
Heh heh!
I'd like to adjourn...
57
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:02,180
ah, I got nothin'.
58
00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:06,051
What's goin' on? You pulled
his radio spots, his print ads.
59
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:08,053
What's
your campaign slogan...
60
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:09,320
"shh"?
61
00:03:11,623 --> 00:03:14,425
Look, Mike, I am firmly
in control of this campaign.
62
00:03:14,459 --> 00:03:17,595
There's a sophisticated strategy
behind every move I make.
63
00:03:17,629 --> 00:03:19,730
You spent the campaign money,
didn't you?
64
00:03:19,765 --> 00:03:21,366
Pretty much.
65
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,234
Welcome to the real world,
princess.
66
00:03:23,268 --> 00:03:25,770
Daddy's not here to
bail you out with his gold card.
67
00:03:25,804 --> 00:03:27,872
My father left
when I was 6 years old.
68
00:03:27,906 --> 00:03:30,775
My mother had to work two jobs
just to keep food on the table.
69
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:32,943
[VOICE BREAKING]
So maybe once in a while,
70
00:03:32,978 --> 00:03:34,612
instead of
your sarcastic gibes,
71
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:36,581
you could give me
a little support.
72
00:03:36,615 --> 00:03:39,718
I'm not buyin' it.
73
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:41,018
I gave it a shot.
74
00:03:44,356 --> 00:03:45,656
Listen, Mike...
75
00:03:45,691 --> 00:03:46,858
close the door!
76
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:50,528
Caitlin just made
her first major screwup.
77
00:03:50,596 --> 00:03:52,029
Well, that's okay.
78
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:54,466
I'm sure we can work as a team
and help her out.
79
00:03:56,268 --> 00:03:58,536
Good.
80
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:02,373
Good. I like that.
81
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,409
Or we can
take this opportunity
82
00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:06,911
to crush her
and take over the campaign.
83
00:04:06,945 --> 00:04:09,147
And you know what?
Let's do mine.
84
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:14,085
Mike, why do you always
have to be so machiavellian?
85
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,820
Carter,
you don't understand.
86
00:04:15,854 --> 00:04:18,657
She pushes me out...
my political career is over.
87
00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:22,260
T-that's my whole life.
88
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,962
I mean,
o-outside of this job,
89
00:04:24,997 --> 00:04:27,766
[VOICE BREAKING]
My life...
90
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,768
Is an empty,
meaningless shell.
91
00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:32,837
I'm not buyin' it.
92
00:04:32,871 --> 00:04:35,039
I gave it a shot.
93
00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:38,009
So, Paul's gonna stay
at our place for a few days.
94
00:04:38,043 --> 00:04:39,510
He really needs us
right now.
95
00:04:39,544 --> 00:04:41,079
What's in it for you,
Stuart?
96
00:04:41,113 --> 00:04:43,882
Did it ever occur to you that
there are other sides to me?
97
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:46,451
You only know the Stuart
who never cleans the kitchen,
98
00:04:46,485 --> 00:04:48,586
who forgets
to write down messages,
99
00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:50,655
and who picks up busgirls
at chili's
100
00:04:50,689 --> 00:04:52,790
and has unconventional sex
in your bed.
101
00:04:52,824 --> 00:04:55,793
That third Stuart better
get his ass out sheet-shopping.
102
00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:58,195
The point is,
I'm capable of a selfless act.
103
00:04:58,230 --> 00:05:00,264
There's
no ulterior motive here.
104
00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:03,435
Stuart! My connection
for the tickets came through!
105
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,570
We're goin'
to the super bowl!
106
00:05:05,604 --> 00:05:06,905
[LAUGHS]
107
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:08,306
I got a lot of work to do.
108
00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:10,474
Could you show this intern
around today?
109
00:05:10,509 --> 00:05:13,377
If you think I'm babysitting
your intern, you're crazy.
110
00:05:13,412 --> 00:05:15,245
How you doin'?
I'm Scott crane...
111
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,514
the new intern.
112
00:05:16,548 --> 00:05:18,316
Uh, who do I report to?
113
00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:21,920
Me! Me! Me!
114
00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:23,455
Excuse me...
115
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:25,890
I'm sorry, sir.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
116
00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:29,093
Caitlin's probably telling you
how she bankrupted the campaign.
117
00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:32,397
Bankrupt?! I didn't
hear anything about that!
118
00:05:32,431 --> 00:05:35,900
Well, this is awkward.
119
00:05:35,934 --> 00:05:38,702
Sir, Mike is just trying
to make me look bad.
120
00:05:38,737 --> 00:05:39,937
The truth is...
121
00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:41,372
you're out of money.
122
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:44,709
Well, we'll just go to the bank
and get some more.
123
00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:45,943
There is no more.
124
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:47,512
Well,
access another account.
125
00:05:47,546 --> 00:05:48,946
There are
no other accounts.
126
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:51,182
Well, sell the beach house.
127
00:05:51,216 --> 00:05:53,118
We don't have a beach house.
128
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:56,087
Well, then,
we got two problems, don't we?
129
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:59,290
A-actually, sir,
I have a solution...
130
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:01,693
u-unless
you've got something.
131
00:06:01,727 --> 00:06:03,027
Nothing? No?
132
00:06:04,429 --> 00:06:06,564
Okay.
133
00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:08,933
I've been courting
a wealthy New York socialite
134
00:06:08,967 --> 00:06:10,602
as a potential
campaign donor.
135
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:13,771
I think now might be a good time
for you to sit down with her.
136
00:06:13,805 --> 00:06:15,273
Uh, miss Shaw?
137
00:06:15,307 --> 00:06:18,142
And, sir, don't mention money.
Let me bring that up.
138
00:06:18,176 --> 00:06:19,310
No problem, Mike.
139
00:06:19,344 --> 00:06:23,414
Mr. mayor,
it's a pleasure to meet you.
140
00:06:23,448 --> 00:06:25,983
So, Mike tells me
you're rich.
141
00:06:26,017 --> 00:06:28,252
Well,
I didn't actually...
142
00:06:28,286 --> 00:06:30,854
it's okay, Mike.
I know I'm rich.
143
00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:33,023
I'm rich, too.
144
00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:35,859
Then why don't you finance
your own campaign?
145
00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:39,764
What are you... nuts? The way
we waste money around here?
146
00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:47,938
[DOOR UNLOCKS]
147
00:06:51,343 --> 00:06:55,113
Oh, my God!
My grandmother's here!
148
00:06:55,147 --> 00:06:56,947
Hey, guys!
149
00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:59,584
Oh, my God!
She's white!
150
00:06:59,618 --> 00:07:03,287
Paul, what the hell
is goin' on in here?!
151
00:07:03,321 --> 00:07:04,822
Doin' my laundry.
152
00:07:04,856 --> 00:07:06,124
There is a laundry room.
153
00:07:06,158 --> 00:07:08,326
Well, you guys only had
$10 in quarters.
154
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,328
You used our quarters
for laundry?
155
00:07:10,362 --> 00:07:11,796
No, to pay for the pizza.
156
00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:15,899
Oh, by the way,
you guys are out of milk.
157
00:07:15,934 --> 00:07:18,436
You washed your clothes
in milk?
158
00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:21,539
No, I had a huge bowl of cereal
with the pizza.
159
00:07:21,573 --> 00:07:24,542
Oh, by the way,
you guys are out of cereal.
160
00:07:24,576 --> 00:07:25,843
This isn't gonna work.
161
00:07:25,877 --> 00:07:27,011
Super bowl, super bowl!
162
00:07:27,045 --> 00:07:29,347
Paul, we're happy
to have you here, but...
163
00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:31,415
what's wrong with rags?
164
00:07:34,119 --> 00:07:37,455
Oh, he was all jittery,
so I gave him a bowl of whiskey.
165
00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:41,693
By the way,
you guys are out of whiskey.
166
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:44,428
What are you trying to pull,
bringing Lindsay Shaw in?
167
00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:46,598
It's my job
to run the senate campaign.
168
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,099
Really?
And what's that?
169
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:52,269
[GASPS]
It's the ball you dropped.
170
00:07:52,304 --> 00:07:54,205
And I'm picking it up.
171
00:07:54,239 --> 00:07:57,008
And I'm running
with the ball.
172
00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:59,811
He fakes left!
He fakes right!
173
00:07:59,845 --> 00:08:01,178
He could... Go...
174
00:08:01,213 --> 00:08:03,581
All... The... Way!
175
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:04,749
Boom!
176
00:08:04,783 --> 00:08:06,918
Hahhh!
177
00:08:06,952 --> 00:08:09,286
I could have brought
Lindsay Shaw in months ago,
178
00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,222
but the woman
is nothing but trouble.
179
00:08:11,256 --> 00:08:14,325
Oh, I get it...
another woman comes along,
180
00:08:14,359 --> 00:08:17,528
and you're all...
[IMITATES CAT SCREECHING]
181
00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:18,863
What are you talking about?
182
00:08:18,897 --> 00:08:20,130
You see another woman,
183
00:08:20,165 --> 00:08:22,400
and you get all...
[HISSES]
184
00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:24,101
Oh, wow,
that's really cool.
185
00:08:24,135 --> 00:08:26,838
You can do a cat and a jackass
at the same time.
186
00:08:26,872 --> 00:08:29,373
The reason why
I didn't bring Lindsay Shaw in
187
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:32,710
is because the woman will have
a huge list of demands.
188
00:08:32,744 --> 00:08:35,846
And I will come right back
with a huge list of "no's."
189
00:08:35,881 --> 00:08:38,516
No... Big deal,
no... Sweat,
190
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:39,983
no... Problemo.
191
00:08:40,018 --> 00:08:42,386
Well,
I think that's everything.
192
00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:44,221
Okay. Very good.
193
00:08:44,255 --> 00:08:47,191
Well, this has been
a very... Profitable afternoon.
194
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,792
We both put our two cents in,
195
00:08:48,827 --> 00:08:51,929
and I think you can bank on me
not passing the buck.
196
00:08:51,963 --> 00:08:53,063
Gimme cash.
197
00:08:53,098 --> 00:08:55,065
I'll bring the check
tomorrow, Mike.
198
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:57,468
That press conference
will be at 10:00 sharp.
199
00:08:57,502 --> 00:08:59,403
I'm afraid
that's set in stone.
200
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,439
Actually,
9:30 is better for me.
201
00:09:01,473 --> 00:09:03,574
9:30 rocks!
202
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:07,945
Look, Mike...
Lindsay's got your ball.
203
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:11,181
No, wait...
she's got both of them.
204
00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:21,059
So?
205
00:09:21,093 --> 00:09:22,894
She's not here yet.
206
00:09:22,928 --> 00:09:26,330
It's a long drive in
from the farm you gave away.
207
00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:29,467
I did not give her one thing
I really cared about.
208
00:09:29,501 --> 00:09:32,570
Good morning, Mike,
Caitlin.
209
00:09:32,604 --> 00:09:34,371
Hmm. Nice watch.
210
00:09:34,406 --> 00:09:36,874
Oh, yeah.
Uh, it was my grandfather's.
211
00:09:38,243 --> 00:09:40,311
B-but he would want you
to have it.
212
00:09:40,345 --> 00:09:41,846
I was just being nice.
213
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,247
Oh, and, Mike,
214
00:09:43,281 --> 00:09:46,584
there are a couple more things
I want to add to that list.
215
00:09:46,618 --> 00:09:48,586
Miss Shaw,
with all due respect,
216
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:50,354
enough is enough, okay?
217
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:53,223
At a certain point, you should
just run for senate yourself.
218
00:09:53,258 --> 00:09:54,558
Well! Flaherty!
219
00:09:54,593 --> 00:09:57,361
You're not such a wuss
after all.
220
00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:58,796
Thank you.
221
00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:01,599
T-t-thank you very much.
222
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:02,900
Showtime!
223
00:10:02,934 --> 00:10:05,970
I'm Paul lassiter.
I'm the press secretary.
224
00:10:06,004 --> 00:10:09,173
I'll be escorting you
to the podium today.
225
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:11,442
And here we are.
226
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,412
Ladies and gentlemen,
227
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:19,583
I came here today to support the
"Winston for senate" campaign
228
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:22,753
with this...
Sizable contribution.
229
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:27,358
But then I thought, "is this
the best way to get involved?"
230
00:10:27,392 --> 00:10:30,594
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
Yes or no.
231
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:33,664
Maybe there's
a better alternative.
232
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:38,336
And just moments ago,
the deputy mayor...
233
00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:40,571
Suggested that alternative.
234
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:44,007
I have decided to run
against the mayor
235
00:10:44,042 --> 00:10:46,444
for the United States senate.
236
00:10:46,478 --> 00:10:48,012
[MURMURING]
237
00:10:57,389 --> 00:10:59,123
Great.
Now, because of you,
238
00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:01,259
the mayor is running
against a woman
239
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,361
who is rich
and well-connected.
240
00:11:03,395 --> 00:11:06,430
Yeah, but I've still got
a 90-year-old Timex.
241
00:11:06,465 --> 00:11:08,599
Mike,
the woman is a real problem.
242
00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:10,033
She just pumped $50,000
243
00:11:10,068 --> 00:11:12,437
into negative ads
attacking the mayor.
244
00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:14,238
Okay,
we haven't got any money.
245
00:11:14,272 --> 00:11:16,607
We need free airtime.
How do we do that?
246
00:11:16,641 --> 00:11:19,877
I'm not sleeping
with a network president.
247
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:22,546
Okay, plan "b."
248
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:24,482
Opposing viewpoints
are the cornerstone
249
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:26,751
upon which our great
political system is built.
250
00:11:26,785 --> 00:11:28,753
That is why
we are challenging you
251
00:11:28,787 --> 00:11:30,955
to a televised debate.
As an American,
252
00:11:30,989 --> 00:11:33,691
I believe you have no choice
but to say yes.
253
00:11:33,725 --> 00:11:35,493
No.
254
00:11:35,527 --> 00:11:38,362
Come on!
255
00:11:38,396 --> 00:11:40,164
Well, if that
won't convince you,
256
00:11:40,198 --> 00:11:41,965
maybe this will.
257
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,033
What's this?
258
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,802
That is a picture of you...
259
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:46,604
how do you potheads
put it?...
260
00:11:46,638 --> 00:11:49,206
tokin' a "j."
261
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,343
Smokin' a bone.
262
00:11:53,378 --> 00:11:55,713
Puffin' a spliff.
263
00:11:55,747 --> 00:11:56,847
Mike, we get the idea.
264
00:11:56,881 --> 00:11:59,216
Pullin' on a phatty.
265
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:01,251
Sparkin' a blunt.
266
00:12:01,286 --> 00:12:04,121
Bogarting the dubage.
267
00:12:04,155 --> 00:12:05,389
All right.
268
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:08,526
First of all, this picture
was taken in Amsterdam,
269
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,128
where smoking marijuana
is not a crime.
270
00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:12,530
Secondly,
271
00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:15,432
I support
the legalization of marijuana.
272
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:19,270
Great, now everybody'sgonna vote for her.
273
00:12:19,304 --> 00:12:22,506
Well, I think you've wasted
enough of my time.
274
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:25,176
To sum up,
there will be no debate.
275
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:27,411
[CLUCKS]
276
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,981
What the hell is he doing?
277
00:12:31,015 --> 00:12:32,850
That's "the chicken."
278
00:12:32,884 --> 00:12:35,886
If you think you can goad me
into debating...
279
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,322
[CLUCKING]
280
00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:40,591
You're just
embarrassing yourself.
281
00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:44,027
[CLUCKING]
282
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:50,067
Mike,
we've got to stop him.
283
00:12:50,101 --> 00:12:51,902
No, wait for the walk.
284
00:12:51,936 --> 00:12:56,574
[CLUCKS]
285
00:12:56,608 --> 00:13:01,378
All right, chicken man,
you've got your debate.
286
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:06,283
The man is
a free-range political genius.
287
00:13:06,317 --> 00:13:09,620
Nikki, free to take Scott
off your hands.
288
00:13:09,654 --> 00:13:10,988
No, we're good, janelle.
289
00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:13,791
I've got time.
Then learn to sew.
290
00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:18,862
Why don't you meet me
back at my desk in five.
291
00:13:18,896 --> 00:13:20,364
All right. Later.
292
00:13:20,398 --> 00:13:21,565
Later.
293
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:24,869
Nice outfit.
294
00:13:24,903 --> 00:13:26,037
Thanks.
295
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:28,573
You hooking up
with felicity later?
296
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:30,107
You watch "felicity"?
297
00:13:30,141 --> 00:13:32,677
Not since she cut her hair.
This new look of yours
298
00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:35,412
wouldn't have anything to do
with that cute intern?
299
00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:37,081
What are you saying?
300
00:13:37,115 --> 00:13:38,716
I'm just saying,
is it appropriate
301
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:40,918
for you to be hanging out
with a 20-year-old?
302
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:43,454
I think his attention
is sweet and flattering,
303
00:13:43,488 --> 00:13:46,523
but I am also aware of the fact
that I am a grown woman.
304
00:13:46,558 --> 00:13:50,061
Now, if you will excuse me.
305
00:13:53,898 --> 00:13:55,599
Well, we did it.
306
00:13:55,633 --> 00:13:58,469
We survived a night with Paul.
307
00:13:58,503 --> 00:13:59,870
Did we, Stuart?
308
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:03,641
Once you've seen the horrors
that men are capable of,
309
00:14:03,675 --> 00:14:06,343
can you ever be
what you once were?
310
00:14:06,377 --> 00:14:09,046
Who eats rice-a-roni
out of the box?
311
00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:12,182
Naked.
312
00:14:12,217 --> 00:14:15,252
And gets up at 4:00 a.m.
to do yoga?
313
00:14:15,286 --> 00:14:17,788
Naked.
314
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:19,857
Carter, we need to move on,
to forget.
315
00:14:19,891 --> 00:14:21,058
Think about the game.
316
00:14:21,093 --> 00:14:22,392
Hear, hear!
317
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,028
Guys, bad news...
318
00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:27,898
turns out transportation
isn't included
319
00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:30,500
in the super bowl package.
320
00:14:30,535 --> 00:14:31,802
That's okay, Paul.
321
00:14:31,836 --> 00:14:34,605
I guess we can pay
for our own flights.
322
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,307
Why would you want
to fly to new Jersey?
323
00:14:37,342 --> 00:14:39,143
Paul, the super bowl
is in Atlanta.
324
00:14:39,177 --> 00:14:40,511
No, it's not.
325
00:14:40,545 --> 00:14:45,082
It's at the biggest
bowling alley in Trenton.
326
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:47,885
We thought you were taking us
to the football super bowl!
327
00:14:47,919 --> 00:14:50,054
What are you, high?
328
00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:55,059
You guys only put me up
for o night.
329
00:14:55,093 --> 00:14:59,930
And no offense, but it's
not exactly the red roof inn.
330
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:03,767
This debate tomorrow
is critical.
331
00:15:03,801 --> 00:15:05,769
It'll set the tone
for the whole campaign.
332
00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:07,038
Debate?
333
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:11,074
Isn't that what they use
to catch de-fish?
334
00:15:11,108 --> 00:15:12,676
That's funny, sir...
335
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:14,311
But we need to focus,
336
00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:17,414
so what we're gonna do
is a mock debate.
337
00:15:17,449 --> 00:15:19,350
Caitlin will be Lindsay.
338
00:15:19,384 --> 00:15:20,651
Who will I be, Mike?
339
00:15:20,685 --> 00:15:22,386
You'll be...
you'll be James.
340
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:25,322
Sweet.
I can totally nail that.
341
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:27,358
Okay, James, take it away.
342
00:15:27,392 --> 00:15:30,761
Give me just one second
to get into character.
343
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:31,996
Got it.
344
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,530
Miss Shaw,
on what major issues
345
00:15:33,564 --> 00:15:35,532
do you disagree
with your opponent?
346
00:15:35,566 --> 00:15:38,435
Mr. mayor, you claim to be
a man of the people,
347
00:15:38,469 --> 00:15:40,971
yet your policies suggest
that you have no compassion
348
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:43,174
for the poor, the needy,
the underprivileged.
349
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:45,509
You promise everything,
yet deliver nothing.
350
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:48,111
Mr. mayor, your rebuttal?
351
00:15:48,145 --> 00:15:50,180
You're fired.
352
00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:51,415
Sir, you can't...
353
00:15:51,449 --> 00:15:53,583
watch it,
or you're next.
354
00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:58,588
Okay, I...
Liked a lot of what I saw.
355
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:06,964
Wow.
356
00:16:06,998 --> 00:16:08,966
Great room.
357
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,135
Nice guitar.
358
00:16:11,169 --> 00:16:13,003
I've been jammin'
since freshman year.
359
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,072
Do you want to hear
"stairway to heaven"?
360
00:16:15,106 --> 00:16:17,274
No, I'm good.
361
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:19,543
Oh, uh,
you can't put that there.
362
00:16:19,577 --> 00:16:22,913
If I stain the wood,
my mom can get pretty p. O.'D.
363
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:29,153
Oh, uh, you wanted
to look over my research?
364
00:16:29,187 --> 00:16:33,290
Yeah, yeah, I, um, wanted
to look over your... Research.
365
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,092
It's right over here.
366
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:43,567
This is totally inappropriate.
I should not be here.
367
00:16:43,601 --> 00:16:44,935
What do you mean?
368
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,437
You are an innocent kid.
I am taking advantage of you.
369
00:16:47,472 --> 00:16:48,638
[CRASH]
370
00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:03,187
Dude, you're right.
She is hotter than Billy's mom.
371
00:17:03,221 --> 00:17:06,857
Scott crane, you should be
totally ashamed of yourself.
372
00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:08,392
The is very immature!
373
00:17:08,426 --> 00:17:10,895
You can forgetabout go-carts tomorrow!
374
00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:13,964
How did I do?
375
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,599
Oh, you did great, sir.
376
00:17:15,633 --> 00:17:18,602
Although I think you might have
gone a little heavy
377
00:17:18,636 --> 00:17:20,938
on the "I know you are,
but what am I?"
378
00:17:20,972 --> 00:17:22,940
Well, she is.
379
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:26,110
Oh, great.
He forgot his notes.
380
00:17:26,144 --> 00:17:27,378
I'll take it to him.
381
00:17:27,412 --> 00:17:30,080
What the man needs
is a good night's rest.
382
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:32,049
No, what he needs is this.
383
00:17:32,083 --> 00:17:33,650
How would you know
what he needs?
384
00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:35,452
I've been with the guy
for five years.
385
00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:37,087
You've been here
for five minutes,
386
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:39,256
and all you've done
is bankrupt his campaign.
387
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:40,757
A campaign we might have won
388
00:17:40,792 --> 00:17:43,327
if you hadn't been so obsessed
with showing me up.
389
00:17:43,361 --> 00:17:45,362
From the minute
you waltzed into city hall,
390
00:17:45,396 --> 00:17:47,431
all you've done
is make my life miserable.
391
00:17:47,465 --> 00:17:49,934
And I have pictures
of you all over my apartment.
392
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:52,569
You know, I'm sick of you.
393
00:17:52,603 --> 00:17:57,174
I'm sick of your... Tight pants
and... Silky hair.
394
00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:59,243
Yeah?
Well, I'm sick of you
395
00:17:59,277 --> 00:18:02,579
with your boyish charm
and your... Dimpled smile.
396
00:18:04,449 --> 00:18:07,117
Forgot my notes.
397
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:09,185
Here!
Here!
398
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:11,588
I'm heading uptown.
Who wants a ride?
399
00:18:11,622 --> 00:18:12,556
I do.
Me.
400
00:18:12,590 --> 00:18:14,291
No, you take it.
No, you take it.
401
00:18:14,326 --> 00:18:15,926
I'll take a cab.
I'll walk.
402
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:21,398
[EXHALES]
403
00:18:27,939 --> 00:18:30,874
And being a single mother
has made me better able
404
00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:34,011
to understand the needs
of single-income families.
405
00:18:34,045 --> 00:18:38,749
Ah, well, unlike my opponent,
406
00:18:38,783 --> 00:18:43,087
I support state-sponsored
castration for prisoners.
407
00:18:45,222 --> 00:18:46,790
No, that's not right.
408
00:18:46,824 --> 00:18:49,660
Mr. mayor, you are making
a mockery of this debate,
409
00:18:49,694 --> 00:18:52,495
just as you've made a mockery
of leading this city.
410
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:54,531
You, sir,
are an embarrassment.
411
00:18:54,565 --> 00:18:57,868
Oh, God, now he's gonna try
and fire her.
412
00:18:57,902 --> 00:18:59,803
Have you ever had
a real job?
413
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:01,071
Excuse me?
414
00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:03,974
You talk a big game,
but what have you actually done?
415
00:19:04,008 --> 00:19:06,142
I was on the city council
for 10 years,
416
00:19:06,177 --> 00:19:08,946
and I have been mayor
of this great city for four.
417
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:11,015
Well, I...
418
00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:13,650
I'm sure the public would like
to know what you were doing
419
00:19:13,684 --> 00:19:16,020
while I was handling
the sanitation strike of '96,
420
00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:17,788
the taxi strike of '98,
421
00:19:17,822 --> 00:19:21,191
or when I rolled that whale back
into the water off coney island.
422
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:23,994
It never happened,
423
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:26,863
but he's en fuego.
424
00:19:26,898 --> 00:19:29,766
Anybody with money
and their picture in the paper
425
00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:32,236
thinks they belong in office
these days,
426
00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:35,072
but being senator
isn't a hobby, like tennis.
427
00:19:35,106 --> 00:19:37,041
You can't just run up
to the clubhouse
428
00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:39,309
for a quick diddle
whenever you get bored.
429
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:44,682
Okay, that was over the line,
but I'm playing for keeps here!
430
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:49,753
Well, I guess we didn't need
to prep the mayor.
431
00:19:49,787 --> 00:19:53,290
Then you wouldn't have had
your little folder moment.
432
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:55,125
What are you talking about?
433
00:19:55,159 --> 00:19:57,561
You know
what I'm talking about.
434
00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:59,896
Last night...
you, me, manila.
435
00:19:59,931 --> 00:20:02,399
Mike, nothing happened
last night.
436
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:05,135
It was late.
We wanted to go to bed.
437
00:20:07,705 --> 00:20:09,706
I wanted to go to bed.
438
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:12,242
We just stared at each other.
439
00:20:12,276 --> 00:20:16,279
Talk to the dimples.
440
00:20:16,313 --> 00:20:18,915
I'm not even remotely interested
in you.
441
00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:21,251
If you were
the last man on earth,
442
00:20:21,285 --> 00:20:23,186
I'd date outside my species.
443
00:20:25,723 --> 00:20:29,092
She's got it bad.
444
00:20:34,732 --> 00:20:36,199
Nikki.
445
00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:38,502
Can I talk to you
for a minute?
446
00:20:38,536 --> 00:20:40,070
Sure, talk.
447
00:20:40,104 --> 00:20:42,305
In private?
448
00:20:42,339 --> 00:20:46,309
Listen, I just want
to apologize for yesterday.
449
00:20:46,343 --> 00:20:50,981
You've been so good to me,
and I acted like a total jerk.
450
00:20:51,015 --> 00:20:52,883
You need to learn
to respect women.
451
00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:55,351
You're right,
and I'm gonna start trying.
452
00:20:55,386 --> 00:20:57,454
Listen,
can we still be friends?
453
00:20:57,489 --> 00:21:00,457
Sure.
454
00:21:00,491 --> 00:21:03,460
[THUD] Ow!
455
00:21:03,494 --> 00:21:04,895
Hey!
456
00:21:04,929 --> 00:21:08,832
I don't believe you!
457
00:21:08,866 --> 00:21:09,900
Nikki...
458
00:21:09,934 --> 00:21:11,702
aw, Nikki, wait!
459
00:21:13,170 --> 00:21:17,473
Dude, I was so in!
460
00:21:17,508 --> 00:21:20,143
MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.
461
00:21:20,177 --> 00:21:21,311
(BARKING)33319
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof