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1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:04,102
Morning, Nikki. How you doin'?
2
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,873
Come on. I didn't ask
for your whole life story.
3
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:11,609
Oh, me?
4
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:13,879
Oh, well... I still
don't have an assistant,
5
00:00:13,913 --> 00:00:16,281
so I had to come in early...
do my own filing.
6
00:00:16,315 --> 00:00:18,416
Takes a little longer,
7
00:00:18,450 --> 00:00:21,253
because I have to sing
the whole song.
8
00:00:24,223 --> 00:00:28,226
♪ A-B-C-D...
9
00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:30,762
♪ E-F-G...
10
00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:33,631
♪ H-I-J-K...
11
00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:35,466
♪ L-M-N-O...
12
00:00:35,501 --> 00:00:37,803
♪ Payroll
13
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,674
so, uh...
14
00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:46,978
About us, uh, everything...
everything cool?
15
00:00:50,649 --> 00:00:53,652
So, I guess I just file
your response under "f."
16
00:00:54,987 --> 00:00:56,354
Look, Nikki, look...
17
00:00:56,388 --> 00:00:59,324
we won't get anywhere
unless we communicate.
18
00:00:59,358 --> 00:01:02,460
You're the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.
19
00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:07,198
Now we're getting
somewhere.
20
00:01:07,232 --> 00:01:11,102
[ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYS]
21
00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,260
Beat you again, Mike.
22
00:01:36,295 --> 00:01:38,830
Yes, in spite of
your terrible hay fever.
23
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,165
What are the odds
of you sneezing, "miss it!"
24
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,734
Every single time I putted?
25
00:01:42,768 --> 00:01:46,037
I'll let you in
on my winning secret...
26
00:01:46,071 --> 00:01:50,642
treat the ball like your lady,
and she'll dance for you.
27
00:01:50,676 --> 00:01:54,612
Nobody treats their balls
better than you, sir.
28
00:01:58,150 --> 00:02:00,585
So the mayor's still
cheating at golf, huh?
29
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,788
Yeah. Today I'm pretty sure
he even cheated at cheating.
30
00:02:03,822 --> 00:02:05,689
Right, right.
31
00:02:05,691 --> 00:02:06,691
Okay.
32
00:02:06,725 --> 00:02:08,560
Caitlin...
33
00:02:11,864 --> 00:02:15,366
Listen, uh, I don't mind
you using my office,
34
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:19,036
but next time, just ask first
so I can say no.
35
00:02:19,071 --> 00:02:23,208
Great. High tea at the Plaza.
The mayor will be there.
36
00:02:23,242 --> 00:02:26,043
Okay. How many times
do I have to tell you
37
00:02:26,078 --> 00:02:27,845
to run things by me first?
38
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,483
Let's see. I told you to mind
your own business eight times,
39
00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:33,117
so eight.
40
00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,620
Oh, wait...
mind your own business.
41
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,655
Nine.
42
00:02:37,689 --> 00:02:40,391
See, you don't know the mayor
as well as I do.
43
00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:42,126
He can't have tea at the Plaza.
44
00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:43,294
Why?
45
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:46,531
He can't help
referring to finger foods
46
00:02:46,565 --> 00:02:48,400
as "those little,
gay sandwiches."
47
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:51,869
By the way, I really enjoyed
your doodle of "supermike"
48
00:02:51,903 --> 00:02:54,205
on the rocket-powered
skateboard.
49
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:57,509
That's
"ultramike,"
50
00:02:57,543 --> 00:02:59,177
and it's a magic
snowboard,
51
00:02:59,211 --> 00:03:01,413
and, uh, you come by
anytime, okay?
52
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:03,014
My door is always open.
53
00:03:06,084 --> 00:03:09,153
CARTER: That woman's not wasting
any time getting in your f ace.
54
00:03:09,187 --> 00:03:11,656
Yeah. She's making
her move, Mike.
55
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,224
She's cagey.
56
00:03:13,258 --> 00:03:14,693
She's wily.
57
00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:16,093
She's...
58
00:03:16,128 --> 00:03:19,364
En fuego.
59
00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:22,099
Give her enough rope,
she will hang herself.
60
00:03:22,134 --> 00:03:25,603
Well, she can't do it
soon enough for me.
61
00:03:25,671 --> 00:03:27,071
Oh, come on, Paul.
62
00:03:27,105 --> 00:03:29,774
Yesterday you sucked up
to her so hard,
63
00:03:29,808 --> 00:03:32,610
she had to brace herself
in the doorframe.
64
00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:34,179
Nervous habit.
65
00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:35,813
Under control.
66
00:03:35,847 --> 00:03:38,749
Love
the tie.
67
00:03:38,784 --> 00:03:40,318
All right,
enough about Caitlin.
68
00:03:40,352 --> 00:03:42,253
James, how's that
hospital speech?
69
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:43,888
Oh, Caitlin took it
away from me.
70
00:03:43,922 --> 00:03:46,224
W-what do you mean
Caitlin took it away from you?
71
00:03:46,258 --> 00:03:48,059
She walked over, took it,
72
00:03:48,093 --> 00:03:50,195
and said, "I'm gonna take
this away from you."
73
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,399
Sir, sir...
74
00:03:56,168 --> 00:03:59,070
did you know that Caitlin
has taken it upon herself
75
00:03:59,104 --> 00:04:01,105
to rewrite
the hospital speech?
76
00:04:01,139 --> 00:04:03,774
She just finished
the first paragraph.
77
00:04:03,809 --> 00:04:04,675
It's so moving.
78
00:04:04,710 --> 00:04:07,846
Let's see...
79
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,249
Cheap anecdote
about a handicapped student...
80
00:04:11,283 --> 00:04:12,751
blah, blah, blah...
81
00:04:12,785 --> 00:04:14,686
blind mother...
82
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,823
yadda, yadda...
tiny wheelchair.
83
00:04:18,857 --> 00:04:20,625
She's a poet, Mike...
84
00:04:20,659 --> 00:04:22,860
A poet!
85
00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:25,129
But the point is,
this speech is city business.
86
00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:27,531
This has nothing to do
with the senate campaign.
87
00:04:27,566 --> 00:04:29,467
Sir, every issue
you talk about as mayor
88
00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:31,536
has the potential
to be a campaign issue.
89
00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:33,137
That's why
I would like to write
90
00:04:33,171 --> 00:04:35,006
all of your speeches
from now on.
91
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:38,476
And I suppose, what,
we just fire James?
92
00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:41,679
I hate to say it,
but Mike is probably right.
93
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:43,147
Just like that?
94
00:04:43,181 --> 00:04:44,382
Jeez, Mike!
95
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:46,818
What do you have,
ice water in your veins?!
96
00:04:46,852 --> 00:04:50,221
Sir, James has really come
into his own.
97
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:51,856
I'm not paying her
six figures a year
98
00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:53,825
to ignore her opinion.
99
00:04:53,859 --> 00:04:56,260
Sir, you're not paying
me six figures a year - -
100
00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:58,229
actually,
that's the whole sentence.
101
00:04:58,263 --> 00:05:01,933
James has no experience
on the national level.
102
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,635
Well, neither do I.
103
00:05:05,637 --> 00:05:08,239
But let's keep the focus
on James.
104
00:05:08,273 --> 00:05:12,076
If Mike believes in James,
I think he deserves a chance.
105
00:05:12,110 --> 00:05:13,077
You won't be sorry.
106
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:14,645
James will write a speech
107
00:05:14,679 --> 00:05:17,348
that will blow this one
out of the water.
108
00:05:19,351 --> 00:05:21,919
I just got to show him
what not to do.
109
00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:26,491
Good morning, everyone.
110
00:05:26,525 --> 00:05:28,927
Oh, Caitlin!
I got you some breakfast!
111
00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,361
Oh, that's okay, Paul.
112
00:05:30,395 --> 00:05:33,130
I'm on a high-protein...
No-teeth-marks diet.
113
00:05:33,165 --> 00:05:36,267
But your office is the one
on the corner, right?
114
00:05:36,301 --> 00:05:38,169
Correct as always.
115
00:05:38,203 --> 00:05:41,539
As smart
as she is beautiful...
116
00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:42,841
And talented!
117
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,375
The big three...
118
00:05:44,409 --> 00:05:47,445
smart... And beautiful...
119
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,013
And talented!
120
00:05:52,317 --> 00:05:54,252
What?
121
00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:55,787
She walks pretty well
122
00:05:55,821 --> 00:05:58,590
for a woman with your head
up her butt.
123
00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:00,925
That's the way I speak,
all right?
124
00:06:00,959 --> 00:06:03,627
Some people have an accent...
I suck up.
125
00:06:03,662 --> 00:06:05,263
You're pathetic.
126
00:06:05,297 --> 00:06:06,597
Pathetic like a fox!
127
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:08,900
You know,
they say talk is cheap.
128
00:06:08,934 --> 00:06:10,735
Well, I got news for you...
129
00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:13,370
it's free.
130
00:06:13,405 --> 00:06:15,673
All it costs
is your dignity.
131
00:06:15,707 --> 00:06:18,176
Exactly.
132
00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:19,844
She was asking
about your office
133
00:06:19,878 --> 00:06:21,612
because she's gonna take it
from you.
134
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:23,914
Oh, God.
135
00:06:23,949 --> 00:06:26,384
Well, fasten
your seat belts, kids,
136
00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:30,187
'cause big daddy's about to make
the jump into hypersuck.
137
00:06:30,222 --> 00:06:32,657
[SUCKING NOISE]
138
00:06:33,692 --> 00:06:35,526
Carter, listen...
139
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:38,797
I need you
to do me a favor.
140
00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:40,631
I need you
to talk to Nikki for me
141
00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:42,266
because she confides
in you.
142
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:46,470
Not anymore. She's got some
crazy idea that I'm a gossip.
143
00:06:46,505 --> 00:06:47,572
Why?
144
00:06:47,606 --> 00:06:49,073
Well...
145
00:06:49,107 --> 00:06:51,342
I can tell you this.
146
00:06:51,376 --> 00:06:54,679
Who does she confide in now?
Janelle.
147
00:06:54,713 --> 00:06:56,848
Then I want you to talk
to janelle for me.
148
00:06:56,882 --> 00:07:00,051
You want me to ask janelle
to ask Nikki
149
00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:01,853
why she's mad at you?
150
00:07:01,887 --> 00:07:03,788
Yeah...
151
00:07:03,822 --> 00:07:06,925
Then, uh, meet me
back here at recess.
152
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,461
James, James...
153
00:07:10,495 --> 00:07:13,130
Good news, buddy.
You are back on speech duty.
154
00:07:13,164 --> 00:07:14,899
I don't want to
pressure you,
155
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,500
but write me
something amazing.
156
00:07:16,535 --> 00:07:17,802
You got it, Mike.
157
00:07:17,836 --> 00:07:19,704
No, no, James,
you don't understand.
158
00:07:19,738 --> 00:07:22,573
This has to be brilliant.
This has to be inspiring.
159
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,242
I'll crank something out
by lunch.
160
00:07:24,276 --> 00:07:26,044
No...
161
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:28,680
not with that
attitude you won't.
162
00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:30,715
Where are the nerves?
Where's the fear?
163
00:07:30,749 --> 00:07:33,550
Do you know what great athletes
do before the big game?
164
00:07:33,585 --> 00:07:36,220
Steroids?
165
00:07:36,254 --> 00:07:38,188
They throw up.
166
00:07:38,223 --> 00:07:40,157
Do you want me
to throw up, Mike?
167
00:07:40,191 --> 00:07:41,526
I want you to
care.
168
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,061
Look at this.
Look at what Caitlin wrote.
169
00:07:45,663 --> 00:07:47,398
Huh.
170
00:07:47,432 --> 00:07:49,533
Oh, wow.
171
00:07:49,568 --> 00:07:53,537
[VOICE BREAKING]
Tell me she dances again.
172
00:07:53,572 --> 00:07:55,272
Hey, Paul.
173
00:07:55,307 --> 00:07:58,443
You seem chipper for a guy
who's about to lose his office.
174
00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:00,645
She won't want my office
after what I did.
175
00:08:00,679 --> 00:08:04,482
I trashed it.
I rock-star trashed it.
176
00:08:04,516 --> 00:08:07,051
You got to get up pretty early
in the morning
177
00:08:07,085 --> 00:08:09,286
to get the best
of Paul lassiter.
178
00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,856
Hey, Caitlin, listen.
Look at my office.
179
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:14,058
If you like it,
you can have it.
180
00:08:14,092 --> 00:08:16,894
Paul, you are such
a gentleman.
181
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:19,630
Well, it takes one
to know one.
182
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,933
I got to warn you, though...
183
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:24,001
I'm a bit of a pack r...
184
00:08:24,035 --> 00:08:25,503
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
185
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,839
Stuart!
186
00:08:27,873 --> 00:08:29,173
I'll take it.
187
00:08:29,207 --> 00:08:31,442
Yes. And well you should.
188
00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:33,611
But I-I must warn you...
189
00:08:33,645 --> 00:08:34,946
it's haunted.
190
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:36,447
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
191
00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:37,715
Aah! Aah! Aah!
192
00:08:37,749 --> 00:08:40,852
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
[GLASS BREAKING]
193
00:08:40,886 --> 00:08:42,186
Mike...
194
00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:45,022
You know about the evil presence
in my office, right?
195
00:08:45,056 --> 00:08:46,991
Of course. She's standing
next to you.
196
00:08:48,226 --> 00:08:49,994
Boo-yah!
197
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,933
Oh, janelle...
198
00:08:55,968 --> 00:09:00,738
Here. I snagged you
the last glazed.
199
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,073
Let me guess...
200
00:09:02,107 --> 00:09:04,475
Mike asked you
to talk to me about Nikki.
201
00:09:04,509 --> 00:09:07,578
Yeah. They're both acting
like such children.
202
00:09:07,612 --> 00:09:11,215
Both?! She didn't have
a sleepover with a supermodel.
203
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,517
Well, he
didn't freeze her out
204
00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:14,385
before giving her
a chance to explain.
205
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,120
You mean a chance to ÷ lie.
206
00:09:16,154 --> 00:09:18,289
Are you calling my man
a liar?
207
00:09:19,424 --> 00:09:21,392
Maybe I ought to tell him
you said that.
208
00:09:21,426 --> 00:09:23,126
I'm surprised you kept
it in this long,
209
00:09:23,161 --> 00:09:25,997
you gossip!
210
00:09:26,031 --> 00:09:29,700
People in glass houses
shouldn't sleep with mayors.
211
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:36,507
At least I've hada boyfriend this year.
212
00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:39,610
I don't think it's
gonna work out with us.
213
00:09:39,644 --> 00:09:42,413
Maybe you should take
your doughnut back.
214
00:09:43,314 --> 00:09:44,415
The press conference
215
00:09:44,449 --> 00:09:46,584
is supposed to start
any minute, Mike.
216
00:09:46,618 --> 00:09:49,086
Where's your boy?
217
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,022
Well, first of all,
he's not a boy.
218
00:09:52,056 --> 00:09:56,527
It's just that...
He's a very old virgin.
219
00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:59,096
This may fly
in small-time, local politics...
220
00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:02,299
ha ha! New York City...
it's real small-time.
221
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:05,536
[SOUTHERN ACCENT] The mayor
runs the filling station.
222
00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:08,005
Look, Mike, I'm sorry
if this offends you,
223
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,409
but to do my job effectively,
I need complete control.
224
00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:14,846
Caitlin, that is an ugly,
small-minded attitude,
225
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,948
and I've got dibs on it.
226
00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:19,250
Hot crowd! Hot crowd!
227
00:10:19,284 --> 00:10:20,718
These people are excited
228
00:10:20,752 --> 00:10:23,254
to hear my thoughts
on healthcare...
229
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,723
As am I.
230
00:10:26,524 --> 00:10:27,858
There he is.
231
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,293
There's my mvp.
232
00:10:29,327 --> 00:10:31,028
I know you wanted this
to be perfect,
233
00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:32,429
and now it
is perfect...
234
00:10:32,464 --> 00:10:34,531
That's what
we're looking for.
235
00:10:34,566 --> 00:10:36,667
...although there is
one point on page two
236
00:10:36,701 --> 00:10:38,068
that doesn't quite land.
237
00:10:38,102 --> 00:10:39,336
Almost perfect. Hey.
238
00:10:39,370 --> 00:10:41,138
Good enough.
239
00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:43,674
The sandcastle
metaphor... might be confusing.
240
00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:45,509
Hey, we're at the beach.
241
00:10:45,543 --> 00:10:46,811
I'm digging it.
242
00:10:46,845 --> 00:10:49,180
Let's have a press conference.
243
00:10:49,214 --> 00:10:53,084
Uh, no. It's bad. I'm
bad. Damn my badness!
244
00:10:54,853 --> 00:10:56,720
[SNIFFING]
245
00:10:56,755 --> 00:10:59,390
Did somebody throw up?
246
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,301
JANELLE: He has no idea
he's about to get the ax.
247
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:14,204
PAUL: Poor guy always
was out of the loop.
248
00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:16,473
Naive bastard.
249
00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:19,977
How could you guys know
already?
250
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,879
Body language.
251
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:23,314
Paul...
252
00:11:23,348 --> 00:11:25,816
Heating vent.
253
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:28,753
So, why haven't you pulled
the trigger yet, big guy?
254
00:11:28,787 --> 00:11:30,655
Oh, come on, Stuart.
255
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,590
Firing somebody is not easy.
256
00:11:32,624 --> 00:11:33,724
Huh.
257
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:35,392
Just make a joke out of it.
258
00:11:35,427 --> 00:11:37,595
"Hey, James,
knock, knock."
259
00:11:37,629 --> 00:11:38,829
"Who's there?"
260
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,297
"You're fired."
261
00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:44,301
"Why did the chicken
cross the road?
262
00:11:44,335 --> 00:11:46,971
To tell you
that you're fired."
263
00:11:47,005 --> 00:11:50,975
Or, "the pope, Jesus, and
a rabbi are in a rowboat.
264
00:11:51,009 --> 00:11:52,910
You're fired."
265
00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:55,179
You know what, Stuart?
266
00:11:55,213 --> 00:11:57,949
You are gonna be
the life...
267
00:11:57,983 --> 00:11:59,450
Of hell.
268
00:12:01,286 --> 00:12:04,288
Listen, James...
[CLEARS THROAT]
269
00:12:04,322 --> 00:12:06,757
Information travels
pretty fast around here,
270
00:12:06,791 --> 00:12:09,259
so I'm gonna assume
you've heard the rumors.
271
00:12:09,294 --> 00:12:10,728
Then it's true?
272
00:12:10,762 --> 00:12:12,763
Yeah, it is.
273
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:14,965
I'm sorry, buddy.
274
00:12:14,999 --> 00:12:16,400
You gonna be okay?
275
00:12:16,435 --> 00:12:20,170
Me? Paul's the one
with the haunted office.
276
00:12:21,706 --> 00:12:25,108
All right, let's...
let's try this again.
277
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:31,615
Knock, knock.
278
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,584
Who's there?
279
00:12:33,618 --> 00:12:35,119
Nobody. Never mind.
280
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:37,588
Man, this is so much harder
than I thought!
281
00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:39,023
"Nobody. Never mind.
282
00:12:39,057 --> 00:12:42,192
Man, this is so much harder
than I thought" who?
283
00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:50,067
Couldn't do it, could you?
284
00:12:50,101 --> 00:12:52,269
If I fired everyone
who couldn't do their jobs,
285
00:12:52,303 --> 00:12:54,071
there'd be no one left
but me.
286
00:12:54,105 --> 00:12:56,106
And you, because
you're within earshot.
287
00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:58,642
How are you gonna get this
past Caitlin?
288
00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:00,845
Well, I've got
some gossip for you.
289
00:13:00,879 --> 00:13:02,346
There's a little-known law
290
00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:04,715
that prohibits
private campaign workers
291
00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:07,518
from using public resources
like Paul's office.
292
00:13:07,552 --> 00:13:10,321
I slipped that information
to some reporters,
293
00:13:10,355 --> 00:13:12,824
and right now
they are peppering her
294
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:15,293
with some
very difficult questions.
295
00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:17,094
Mike,
for future reference,
296
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,864
gossip is supposed to be
interesting.
297
00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:21,565
Caitlin is goin'
down.
298
00:13:21,599 --> 00:13:24,501
Caitlin, you're goin'
straight to the top!
299
00:13:24,535 --> 00:13:26,203
I have never seen
a standing ovation
300
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,873
at a press conference before.
301
00:13:28,907 --> 00:13:32,977
Obviously, some idiot leaked
incorrect information.
302
00:13:33,011 --> 00:13:34,511
MIKE: Hey!
303
00:13:34,546 --> 00:13:37,815
Don't call that person
an idiot.
304
00:13:37,849 --> 00:13:41,152
See? Now,
this is interesting.
305
00:13:41,186 --> 00:13:42,419
Hey, Betty!
306
00:13:42,453 --> 00:13:45,122
To be safe, I shouldn't
take Paul's office.
307
00:13:45,156 --> 00:13:47,691
I'll just have a phone
put in somewhere.
308
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:51,095
I got a lot of work done
this morning at Mike's desk.
309
00:13:51,129 --> 00:13:53,196
You want to put a phone
in my office?
310
00:13:53,231 --> 00:13:56,400
Why, thank you, Mike!
I'll take you up on that.
311
00:13:56,434 --> 00:14:01,038
You can have your number-one and
number-two people in the same place.
312
00:14:01,072 --> 00:14:02,973
No, no. Your number one...
your number on e
313
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:06,777
and your number-two people
need their own private domains.
314
00:14:06,812 --> 00:14:08,412
Mike, some advice...
315
00:14:08,446 --> 00:14:10,480
keep your friends close...
316
00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:12,449
And your enemies closer.
317
00:14:12,483 --> 00:14:15,118
No, that makes my advice
so sinister.
318
00:14:17,488 --> 00:14:20,324
Caitlin...
319
00:14:20,358 --> 00:14:23,994
Listen, I know you think youhave all the answers,
320
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:27,464
but believe me,
you need what I have up here.
321
00:14:27,498 --> 00:14:31,001
What?
Half a bottle of mousse?
322
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,302
Fine, fine.
323
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:34,371
But you're gonna learn
this sooner or later...
324
00:14:34,405 --> 00:14:36,607
nothing happens around here
without me.
325
00:14:36,641 --> 00:14:38,943
I fired James.
326
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:43,847
Touche.
327
00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:45,482
Poor James.
328
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:48,552
Look at his little desk.
329
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:50,888
I still expect him
to be there.
330
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:52,423
He is still there.
331
00:14:52,457 --> 00:14:53,791
James?
332
00:14:53,825 --> 00:14:55,592
JAMES: Yeah, Mike?
333
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,897
Come on out.
334
00:14:59,931 --> 00:15:02,399
I, uh, found a quarter.
335
00:15:02,433 --> 00:15:05,903
Guess I'm gonna need it,
huh?
336
00:15:07,939 --> 00:15:10,340
[VOICE BREAKING]
What am I gonna do, Mike?
337
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:12,509
Can't go back to the farm.
338
00:15:12,543 --> 00:15:15,178
They'll make me
a scarecrow again.
339
00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:20,084
Crows aren't scared
of me, Mike.
340
00:15:20,118 --> 00:15:23,420
In fact,
they find me delicious.
341
00:15:23,454 --> 00:15:26,323
Look, y-you're not fired.
342
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:29,259
In fact,
y-you're promoted...
343
00:15:29,293 --> 00:15:33,697
To, uh, to deputy...
344
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:37,134
Deputy mayor.
345
00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:39,202
Deputy deputy mayor!
346
00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:42,940
Mike, w-what is that
exactly?
347
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:44,942
Well...
348
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:48,678
Uh...
349
00:15:48,713 --> 00:15:51,849
Deputy deputy mayor,
uh, uh, uh,
350
00:15:51,883 --> 00:15:54,051
answers my phones, and...
351
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:55,453
and sets my schedule,
352
00:15:55,487 --> 00:15:57,755
and runs
personal errands for me.
353
00:15:57,789 --> 00:15:59,890
How is that different
from an assistant?
354
00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:01,391
Well, if you have to ask,
355
00:16:01,426 --> 00:16:02,860
maybe you're not ready.
356
00:16:02,894 --> 00:16:04,128
N-no, I-I am!
357
00:16:04,162 --> 00:16:06,864
Deputy deputy mayor James hobert
at your service!
358
00:16:06,898 --> 00:16:08,299
All right. Hey!
359
00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:11,035
The city is depending
on you.
360
00:16:11,069 --> 00:16:14,305
Get me a cup of coffee?
361
00:16:14,339 --> 00:16:17,508
Yeah, I'd like
the biggest bouquet you have
362
00:16:17,542 --> 00:16:20,144
sent to Caitlin Moore
at city hall.
363
00:16:20,178 --> 00:16:21,745
Ooh!
364
00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:25,248
And money
is a gigantic o bject.
365
00:16:25,283 --> 00:16:27,784
Paul, the only way you're gonna
get to keep your office
366
00:16:29,587 --> 00:16:32,089
is if you put Caitlin
in her place.
367
00:16:32,123 --> 00:16:33,557
Gladly...
368
00:16:33,591 --> 00:16:36,626
That backstabbing,
opportunistic hussy!
369
00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:38,094
I mean to her face.
370
00:16:38,129 --> 00:16:40,564
What are you, crazy?
371
00:16:40,598 --> 00:16:42,733
[SINGSONG VOICE]
Good afternoon!
372
00:16:42,767 --> 00:16:44,768
Well, now that
you're here it is.
373
00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:49,673
But you know what would
make it even better?
374
00:16:49,707 --> 00:16:51,008
If you were dead.
375
00:16:54,112 --> 00:16:58,416
I suck up to you
until I'm out of suck...
376
00:16:58,450 --> 00:16:59,917
And I'm out of
up,
377
00:16:59,951 --> 00:17:01,218
and what do you do?
378
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:03,521
You come in,
you take my office!
379
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:06,056
Well, what do you say
we switch roles
380
00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:07,457
for a minute, okay?
381
00:17:07,492 --> 00:17:10,126
How about you kiss
my ass for a while?
382
00:17:14,298 --> 00:17:17,300
Paul, I'm not taking
your office.
383
00:17:17,335 --> 00:17:19,403
I'm gonna share Mike's.
384
00:17:24,342 --> 00:17:26,977
Did I forget
to mention that?
385
00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:31,782
What are you doing?
386
00:17:31,816 --> 00:17:33,217
Rummaging around my office.
387
00:17:33,251 --> 00:17:35,452
You're rummaging
around Caitlin's desk.
388
00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:37,020
Which is in my office.
389
00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:40,224
She's made such a mess,
I can't find my sunglasses.
390
00:17:40,258 --> 00:17:44,361
Maybe they're on her hard drive.
391
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:47,031
Mike, I don't care what
that woman has done to you.
392
00:17:47,065 --> 00:17:50,133
There is no justifying
this invasion of her privacy.
393
00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:52,936
Come on. She fired James.
You could be next.
394
00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:54,504
Let's fire that baby up.
395
00:17:54,538 --> 00:17:56,006
Oh, no. Look at this...
396
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,742
she entered the mayor in
a celebrity golf tournament.
397
00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:01,211
He "cheats" off in an hour.
398
00:18:03,114 --> 00:18:05,515
You don't think he'd know
better in a tournament?
399
00:18:05,549 --> 00:18:07,517
You haven't played
with the man!
400
00:18:07,551 --> 00:18:09,853
He has lost all concept
of right and wrong.
401
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:11,288
Oh, look, her journal.
402
00:18:11,322 --> 00:18:13,657
Ooh.
403
00:18:18,129 --> 00:18:20,598
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
404
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:22,633
Excuse me.
Thank God I'm not too late.
405
00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:24,067
We've got a caddy, Mike.
406
00:18:25,136 --> 00:18:27,504
I have a feeling I'm gonna win.
407
00:18:27,538 --> 00:18:30,574
There's a very good reason
you should not play.
408
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:33,577
I think I can hold my own
against nipsey Russell.
409
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,646
I'm not gonna try to be
delicate about this.
410
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,113
You cheat.
411
00:18:37,148 --> 00:18:38,982
That's absurd!
412
00:18:39,016 --> 00:18:41,151
Sir...
413
00:18:44,155 --> 00:18:47,090
Maybe I should go make
an excuse to the organizers.
414
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:50,294
No, no, no,
I'd still like to play.
415
00:18:50,328 --> 00:18:51,394
Who knows?
416
00:18:51,429 --> 00:18:52,963
Maybe I'm good.
417
00:18:52,997 --> 00:18:56,300
I want to see your score card
before you sign it, sir,
418
00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:58,402
and no running
with the ball.
419
00:18:58,436 --> 00:19:01,037
That could have been
really bad.
420
00:19:01,071 --> 00:19:03,740
Caitlin, I know the mayor
better than anyone else.
421
00:19:03,774 --> 00:19:06,043
He gets testy
in the afternoon,
422
00:19:06,077 --> 00:19:08,745
he has never seen
the second act of a play...
423
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:11,382
Son of a...
424
00:19:13,417 --> 00:19:15,719
...and he's
an extremely sore loser.
425
00:19:15,753 --> 00:19:18,155
Andthen he cheats.
426
00:19:18,189 --> 00:19:19,622
Even nipsey knows.
427
00:19:21,259 --> 00:19:23,994
Mike...
Nikki.
428
00:19:24,028 --> 00:19:27,864
Apparently, you told Carter
to tell James to tell Paul
429
00:19:27,899 --> 00:19:30,800
to tell janelle
to tell me something?
430
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:34,571
By the time your message
got back around to me,
431
00:19:34,605 --> 00:19:36,473
here's what
it had been twisted into...
432
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:37,874
you don't think we broke up.
433
00:19:37,909 --> 00:19:39,443
Wow.
434
00:19:39,477 --> 00:19:43,247
Can you tell janelle
to tell Paul to tell Carter
435
00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:46,016
to tell James, "good job"?
436
00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,754
How can you think
that we're not broken up?
437
00:19:50,788 --> 00:19:53,190
Look, about Heidi,
like I said,
438
00:19:53,224 --> 00:19:54,558
I-I can explain.
439
00:19:54,592 --> 00:19:57,261
I-I don't want
to hear it, Mike!
440
00:19:57,295 --> 00:20:01,231
You know, you're so adept
at spinning scenarios
441
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,100
and sounding sincere,
442
00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:04,601
you just naturally go there.
443
00:20:04,635 --> 00:20:07,171
It's gotten to the point
where I never even know
444
00:20:07,205 --> 00:20:08,805
what to believe from you.
445
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,042
I know it seems
like I do that a lot.
446
00:20:14,145 --> 00:20:17,881
But I can explain.
447
00:20:17,915 --> 00:20:21,251
You are impossible.
448
00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:25,955
Mike, uh,
Nikki wants me to tell you
449
00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:27,357
she broke your cup.
450
00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:38,969
Knock, knock.
451
00:20:39,003 --> 00:20:40,804
Caitlin, I just wanted
to apologize.
452
00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:43,006
Oh, no need
to apologize, Paul.
453
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:45,508
In fact, I much prefer
someone who will tell me
454
00:20:45,543 --> 00:20:47,111
what's on his mind
to a suck-up.
455
00:20:47,145 --> 00:20:50,080
Just when I thought
there was nothing more
456
00:20:50,248 --> 00:20:51,548
to admire about you.
457
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:57,187
My point, Paul, is...
You don't need to suck up.
458
00:20:57,222 --> 00:21:00,457
That is great advice.
459
00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:03,827
Paul, really, stop.
460
00:21:03,861 --> 00:21:06,696
[LAUGHING]
I don't think I can.
461
00:21:06,730 --> 00:21:10,200
You'll just end up
alienating me.
462
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:13,636
I'm aware of the irony.
463
00:21:13,671 --> 00:21:17,474
Love your hair color!
464
00:21:17,508 --> 00:21:20,144
MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.
465
00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:21,411
(BARKING)32944
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