Original subtitles

LONPUR

Good morning.

Tell me something swamiji.

You're such a good detective and yet

you don't charge money after solving the case

nor do you take credit for it in the news.

So you want me to charge money to find goats? No, no, no...

That would be against mine and the goat's pride.

Besides, taaka maati, maati taaka.

Taka taki maka maki? What?

Money is like sand.

Ramakrishna Paramahansa.

Don't you know that Mr. Ashram visitor?

-Good morning. -Good morning Mrs. H.

Did you hear?

Swamiji has proclaimed today that money is like sand.

So I think we should start paying our rent to Mrs. H with a box of sand.

I will throw that sand back in your faces.

No need for tension Henry. He has a pension.

-A pension isn't enough these days. -You also have a permanent job.

-You are my assistant. -Hello?

Not assistant okay. Partner.

I thought that we should start our own detective agency.

To solve cases and make money.

-That's a great idea. -No, no, no.

See Mrs. H?

He might be a talented man but he is also very selfish.

No, no, no.

If not about yourself, at least think about others.

-No. No. -Think about Mrs. H.

-I am all alone Shekhar. -Yeah.

Your rent would really help me, you know?

Yeah, she needs the money.

What do you say?

One...

One week. We can try it out for one week.

Yes!

-Yes, but I will handle the money. -Absolutely.

What should we name our agency?

Saini and Home detective agency?

How about, 'Saini, Home and Henry associates'?

Oh! Then why don't we include Pintu also?

Saini, Home, Henry and Pintu will become... SHHP...

I think it's Henry and Saini... That will be...

Well done!

I have been seeing ghosts for the last few days.

That is not a ghost, that is Jayavrat.

She received a family gold chain on her 18th birthday from dad.

But when we opened the box to wear it for the wedding

last night the chain was missing.

Mr. Shekhar I wrote a story last night that was 15 pages long.

When I woke up in the morning three pages were missing.

Don't worry, he is very good at ending the story.

Don't worry, he knows how to talk to ghosts.

You just need to pay the fees. 100 rupees.

50 rupees only. You just need to pay us.

No... he is a student.

-Oh, are you a student? -Yes.

Then you get a 50% student discount. 50 rupees only.

100 rupees only.

He is such a bad doctor! He is asking for money from a cop?

The cops should...

No...

Well, okay...

Goswami...

I don't feel good.

Why?

Because Das isn't here. He always sets a good mood.

He must be attending a wedding.

Since he is unable to get married himself.

Hey, that is a good thing.

Otherwise he would go from Das to sad.

-Just like us. -Should I tell your wife that?

Hey, Goswami...

-Here. You eat. -Sad huh?

From Chatterjee to sad.

From Das to sad.

Good morning.

Good morning Das.

Good morning Das?

Das?

Good morning.

Mr. Shekhar, I was sitting in my store like I generally do...

And looking at matrimonial ads.

-What? -Everyone in Lonpur knows

what you do in your shop.

Which ads you cross out and which ones you circle. Please go on.

What else can I do Shekhar?

A good girl is like the view from Kangchenjunga.

It's not easy. You need to work hard for it.

So, did you find a girl Mr. Das?

I found a flyer.

I found a flyer in the newspaper

that had an ad looking for a groom.

It said that the girl has four conditions.

Interesting.

The boy that she wants...

You mean 'man', right?

A man above the age of 40.

A Bengali whose surname starts with D...

and who runs their own business.

So I fulfilled all four of them.

I even met the girl's father,

Shottendra Sanyal.

He was a very good man. A complete gentleman.

He even said -

I can't believe my luck.

You have all four qualities.

You would be absolutely perfect for my daughter Menaka.

Absolutely perfect.

Thank you sir. Er...

Papa.

It looks like we will all have to

prepare for your welcome son-in-law.

But there is one small problem.

My daughter is a forest officer.

She wants a life partner

who would be willing to move out of the city

and live in a forest if necessary.

Of course I am willing to do that.

We will see.

If you live in this jungle and survive for 30 days

then on the 31st day you can marry Menaka.

Live in a jungle for a month? All alone?

I had to prove that I could live in the jungle for 30 days.

For Menaka I had to become the sage Vishvamitra.

I sacrificed my house, my shop and everything for her.

Dad...

I mean, Mr. Sanyal...

would give me a task every day

and I would put all my effort into completing the task.

DAY ONE

DAY SIX

Menaka's condition was to fulfill every single day's task

if I skipped even a single task then I would have to restart.

DAY THIRTEEN

But Mr. Sanyal didn't show up today.

DAY TWENTY

I waited for a very long time.

When I enquired from the forest rangers, they told me…

That there is no forest officer named Menaka.

And nobody knows anyone by the name of Sanyal either.

Ouch.

Shekhar, I have completed 20 days out of 30.

There are only 10 days remaining.

If I stop now...

I will turn into a widow before I even got married.

-Widower. -What?

Not a 'widow', you would be a 'widower' since you are a man.

So you want me to find Sanyal?

That's right.

Okay then Mr. Das.

1,000 rupees.

500 right now and 500 with the wedding sweets?

Doctor, my shop has been shut for the last 20 days.

I don't have any money.

That's fine, you can give me whatever you have.

-You can give it later. -Shekhar!

-How could you do that? -He doesn't have any money.

-This is my department. -This is my company.

It's our company.

Then it's time to shut down.

Which jungle is it?

Brother, Das and Bhootnath kyalakeli korche.

-Kala Koli? -They are fighting! Hurry up!

It’s not about my house or your house,

why would you do an illegal construction...

Who says it's illegal? This is the wall of my house,

I did this construction. My father was alive when it was built.

It’s not about your house or my house,

-our houses are facing each other... -This wall was created by my father!

Did you think I wouldn't notice, you thief!

How am I the thief? The wall is exactly where the line was!

You liar! You are a cheat!

-Break the wall. Do it! -I won't.

Then I will break you.

Hey, hey, why are you fighting? You might get hurt.

I am not afraid of getting hurt.

I have a balm in my shop. Crocodile brand balm.

-I will... -Hey!

You guys don't know how to use your fists.

Use your words and talk it out.

Where are you going?

To eat lunch.

Who is that?

This is Das' Menaka.

Das and her?

She could be miss universe.

A desperate man like Das was bound to fall for it.

Yes, because everyone in Lonpur knows

that Das spends his days looking at matrimonials.

Show me your hand.

-Why? -Just do it.

-What is this? -The key to the company.

It's time to open up again.

-Where are you going? -What?

Didn't you just say we we are going out for lunch?

Partner!

So, we already know what Das wants.

Now tell me what Sanyal wants.

You know what I think?

I think Sanyal was sent by Bhoothnath.

Das' cousin brother.

Bhootnath and Das have been enemies for a very long time

because of a dispute over land they inherited.

Bhoothnath must have sent Sanyal

to send Das into the jungle

while Bhootnath broke the old wall and built a new one.

Game. Set. Match. Chamionship partner.

Wow, such a terrible deduction.

Wait, wait a minute. Why? What was so bad about it?

There is a suspect and a motive and I even investigated it myself.

I saw them fighting about the land and the position of the wall.

-Really? -Yes!

So, how long does it take to build a wall?

To build... It probably takes two days.

And for how long was Mr. Das sent to the jungle?

For 30 days.

Huh?

Afternoon Henry.

Good afternoon.

-Good afternoon Mrs. H. -Good afternoon.

Two specials for us please.

Namaste sister-in-law.

Laltoo!

Hello.

So... I see you're eating Kosha Mangsho.

Of course, a Sunday holiday

is all about enjoying time and Mangsho with my family.

A cop taking a holiday means they have solved all their cases.

-Just like our Jayavrat. -Hey!

-Conceited man. -Good joke. Good joke.

So, what case are you guys working on right now?

Das. Abhirup Das.

No way. That good-for-nothing Das?

Shekhar, will you work for anyone who pays you?

You have lost your soul to capitalism my friend.

He is the capitalist. Not me.

What do you mean capitalist?

Our Karl Marx from Lonpur over here is helping the poor guy for free?

Who is a poor guy? That guy is a complete...

Good boy.

Don't move your hands.

Don't try to listen.

He is a complete bastard.

Do you know Urmila from the chemist shop?

He was desperate to get married to her.

But he caused a huge scene. She complained against him

and I beat him away with my stick.

But he still didn't stop. Do you know what he did?

He cut his wrists and wrote the girl a letter with his blood.

And he didn't even get a government stamp.

Poor guy? Bloody bastard.

My son...

So partner?

Urmila who works at the medical store.

Let's go meet her.

-Let's have lunch first. -You can eat later.

But...

No, just go. Go. You have to go.

Both of you.

-Come on! -Okay...

-Give this to Abra uncle. -Okay sir.

Oh and take this too.

Give it to Abra uncle. Quickly.

Oh Shekhar!

And Jayabroto is with you too?

-Jayavrat. -Exactly.

Where is Urmila? I need to speak to her.

Should I call her? Urmila!

Come out.

He...

Hey wait! Listen. Listen. Please listen.

-Just listen to me. -Please.

Please stop following me.

I do not want to marry you.

-Huh? -What?

Marry? You?

Never.

-So you don't want to get married? -No, not at all.

Then why do you keep sending Mrs. H to my house with a proposal?

Last time she brought flowers and sweets.

You are a weird man. Acting innocent now.

You like me but you can't even say it to my face?

Sorry.

-Look, I don't want to get married. -I see.

And... you...

sorry but I definitely don't want to get married to you.

If you don't want to get married then why are you following me?

-Because-- -Oh so it's for a case again!

-Again? -That's right. Again.

Last time Inspector Laha was here

and he informed me that I am the 'U' Killer's girlfriend.

'U' for Urmila.

That is what he said.

First Das, and then Laha

and now you two.

Have all the men in town lost their minds?

Is that why you wanted revenge against Das?

No, no, listen.

I don't even want to look at Das to get revenge.

-Are you guys done? -Yes.

-Can I leave? -Yes. Sorry...

Good.

"Is that why you wanted revenge against Das?"

You have the subtlety of a hammer my friend.

What? Me? What about you?

What you said to her? Is she that bad?

I don't want to get married!

Why don't you and Henry start a matrimonial together?

Both of you are pushing me to get married!

You shouldn't be so adamant about everything...

Urmila was right.

About what? That she is very pretty?

Should I tell Mrs. H to talk to her again?

Oh! Joke?

Why are you taking out your anger at Urmila's words on me?

Do one thing, meet Das and

find out how many people have a problem with him.

I am sure that must be a very long list.

Every single girl in Lonpur must be on it.

Hey, don't speculate. Just go and do your job.

I need to speak to Henry.

Yes partner!

Oh Henry.

Stop going to girls with my marriage proposal!

-But she is beautiful, right? -I don't care Henry!

So do you want to be like Das?

When you're old we will find you with a newspaper in your hand.

You too! Duffers! Both of you. Big duffers.

What happened now?

What?

What are you doing?

Nothing. What did Das say?

That guy is still stuck on Bhootnath and Menaka.

He says he has no enemies in Lonpur.

And everyone in the city knows everyone else.

So Sanyal is definitely not from around here.

But now the question is,

which person from Lonpur gave Sanyal Das' details?

Do you know how many drunkards we have who gossip all day?

Buggers like Chatterjee do that all day!

What?

Shekhar! Shekhar! Ah!

Shekhar!

What the hell?

I sent you to Das didn't I?

Where else did you go?

I just came from his shop.

Hey Shekhar!

Shekhar!

What happened Shekhar?

Where are you going?

Shekhar! I am heading back.

Hey!

How is this open?

Let's go and inform Das.

What are you doing?

What? Me?

Do I look like a wrestler to you?

Come on soldier. You can do it. Come on.

It's not that easy to remove a grill...

Hey... Shekhar, this is trespassing.

What are we doing here?

Tell me?

Interesting.

Did we break in here to look at art?

Let's take this with us.

Have you lost your mind?

We are already here anyway. Let's take it with us.

Help? Help? Please, come on help.

-Shekhar... -Come on, lift.

What?

What is this?

[in Bengali] On the lap of the banyan tree, go towards the South,

then towards North east,

I give you the directions!

This is a long tunnel.

What?

Everyone should have an assistant like you.

Hey! I am not your assistant, I am your partner okay?

Shekhar where are you going? Hey.

I feel like sneezing. What if I fall?

You will stop sneezing for good.

Oh God... where are we?

This is the vault of Lonpur Co-operative Bank.

A truck of cash arrives every Saturday.

That is how they must have planned their robbery.

Commit the robbery on Saturday night since the bank will be closed on Sunday.

By the time the bank opens on Monday morning they would be gone.

Right? Shekhar?

Shekhar, this robbery was carried out on the weekend on purpose.

-Cellotape. -Cellotape?

Banatul Industrial Detergent.

You won't find it anywhere near Lonpur.

Ladies and gentlemen, now with extra foam and hydrogen peroxide.

-Hydrogen peroxide? -Ding!

Did you pass by Das' shop day before yesterday?

Yes, I passed by this place on my walk.

I could smell something too.

Like something was burning!

Nitro... Nitroglycerin. Nitroglycerin.

It is used in bombs.

And as soon as you come in contact with it

a person will start sneezing.

-Shekhar! -Hey, are you crazy?

He is a genius!

Hey! What are you doing?

-Hey! -Don't worry I will take care of it.

What are you doing Shekhar?

I was just calling you a genius.

Now do you know who did it?

Just by looking at the masks?

You just called me a genius, right?

Why did you call me here?

-To tell you a story. -What do you mean?

I mean, this story has drama, emotion, romance

and even action.

But it is still a crime.

You see, a few months ago some people got together and made a plan.

A plan to loot the bank.

But why are you telling us this?

Because there is a list...

Laha! File!

This is a list of all the loans that were rejected in the last six months.

Bhootnath!

Goswami.

Chatterjee.

Miss Urmila.

'U' for Urmila.

Yes, 'U' for Urmila and 'C' for Chatterjee.

You see what I see?

Yes...

They had a plan to build a home away from Lonpur.

They needed a loan and it was rejected.

Primary applicant Chatterjee. Co-applicant Urmila.

And when the bank refused they decided to loot the bank itself.

Wait... wait... wait a second sir.

The two of us are in a relationship...

everyone knows that by now.

I accept it, but I didn't loot any banks!

I didn't even know about the secret tunnel under Das' shop.

You didn't know but she knew.

Knew what?

I don't know anything.

You sign on the receipts at your medical shop don't you?

Yes.

You know the register at the Lonpur library?

It has your sign.

You borrowed the book with the blueprint didn't you?

Which had a map to the tunnel below the bank, right?

I... cross-checked that signature

and it was a perfect match.

Just like you and Chatterjee.

Then he must have done that.

Yes, to get me out of the way.

Sir, you see! She is talking too much!

Talking too much? You stole the money to go back to your wife, right?

-You bloody cheater. -Hey! Not a cheater.

No cheater.

Cheater is an American distortion.

The word is cheat.

British English? Do you work for the BBC?

Oh no, thank you very much.

-You are a cheat! Yes, you are. -I am a cheat?

She is a selfish woman. I was about to leave my caring wife for you!

-Caring wife? You just remembered that? -Quiet. Calm down.

Shut up!

Both of you shut up.

Ananto!

Ananto! Hey!

Listen, head to their houses right now...

-Sir-- -Shut up! Shut up. Go to their house...

...search their house, they must be hiding the money there.

Find the money, count it and bring it back here.

Hey, Ananto.

36 Lakhs 57 thousand and 19 rupees. And 75 paise.

Go. Hurry up.

-You stole so much money? -Hey, hey, enough. Shut up!

Look, the honeymoon hotel is ready for you guys.

-Tell me if you want to go in. -Take your wife with you!

-Sir-- -Shut up!

Look, the two of you can leave.

But... But...

the investigation is not over yet, okay?

Don't talk to anyone about this. And if you do, he won't spare you.

-Sir... -Shut up!

Hello? Hello Shekhar? We found the real thieves and the money.

Why are you so excited? Did you think I could be wrong?

Fine Shekhar. We found the money and the thieves

just like you said, okay?

Hello Mr. Sanyal.

Mr. Goswami.

It was a good plan but you made a mistake.

36 Lakhs 57 thousand and 19 rupees. And 75 paise.

I said the wrong amount at the police station Mr. Goswami.

So that you could take us to uncle Abra.

PAHARPUR 2 KMs

-What did you do uncle? -What?

You said that you found 28 lakh 95 thousand rupees.

But 36 lakhs are missing from the bank!

Here! Take this 8 lakhs and this 36 lakhs and count it yourself!

Obviously I will count it myself.

When did you get this idea?

I came to Lonpur to search for something in Mangal Ashram.

As Mrs. H calls it... Lady Luck.

She is the one who saved Bablu's life today.

Otherwise...

In real life I don't have a lady nor do I have any luck.

Das... don't be sad.

You will find her soon enough.

When?

I am tired of looking.

Mr. Das,

if not today, you will find her tomorrow - your dream girl.

Very soon you will have a lady

and luck on your side.

Really?

You are my closest friend Goswami.

After the landlords only you could make use of that tunnel.

Urmila's sign...

the one you made in the register.

It was easy.

She used to sign on the bills

and I just copied it.

When it was time to execute the plan

your uncle Abra entered the scene.

Nobody in Lonpur knew him and there were no police records.

Smart move.

But you made a mistake.

You made him a guarantor on your loan application.

He turned into Sanyal to turn Das into Devdas.

The poor guy didn't get his Chandramukhi,

nor Paro, nor Menaka.

Bomb.

You made it well. Silent. Powerful.

But you made a mistake there too.

The smell of nitroglycerin.

If I hadn't smelt it I could never have found out.

I should have used ammonium nitrate that was my mistake.

Ammonium perchlorate.

Why don't you make the bomb next time?

Seriously?

We can share the money.

No... I mean...

my company does want me to hit certain money targets though.

Well, anyway...

it's clear how and why this robbery took place.

Is it clear?

Yes, I mean... anyone could have signed there right?

So how did these two...

Medrol.

Give this to Abra uncle.

Medrol means that uncle has COPD.

Hey, do that later.

Let him cough. He has COPD.

Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease.

Chronic... Pul...

Yes, exactly.

Laha, you remember the masks we found in the trash?

One of those masks had an extra layer of cloth.

You see, digging a tunnel with bombs

causes a lot of sand and dirt to float around.

That would have triggered his COPD.

This was for uncle's protection.

Uncle?

You see your nephew here?

He is very cunning.

He was sitting in Khasha Blanca when the crime was committed.

He has an alibi.

Far away from the crime scene.

Catching him without the loot was pointless.

That is why we caught him here red-handed.

Thank you Shekhar.

This is a very big case that has been added to Lonpur Police Station's ledger.

Yes, but this time a thank you won't be enough.

Okay, well would you like rasgullas or mutton?

No way. There is a big reward and a credit.

We want a share in both.

But Shekhar... what about our arrangement?

That is over now. This will now be my department.

Shekhar?

Don't talk to me.

-What? -Discuss it with the corporate guy.

Doctor?

Yes, this...

this is your certificate.

And cash?

Yes, here... 15,000...

Oh.

Two years of rent, the bulb you broke

and all other damages.

We are ready to move on to stage two.