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Hiya, Frank.

-Hello, Dolan. -How's it going, boy?

I see where the Metropolitan Opera House

is gonna open their season with Pagliacci.

Yeah? That reminds me, I think I'll go to a Burly Q show tonight.

How do you like this?

Mr. Brisbane says that the capitalistic depression spasm is only a slight chill.

He does, huh?

Ah, those politicians are all alike. They're all of them crooks.

Hey, here's a piece about social economy.

Social economy? Ah, nuts to social economy.

What's on the sportin' page?

Here, wrap your kisser around that.

(horn blows in distance)

Whew. We've missed many a meal together.

(mutters)

He gonna never miss another one.

Goodbye.

Is that all you got to do?

It's all I can do--for him.

And if I had nerve enough, I'd go with him.

He looks as though he might be a pretty good pooch.

-Yeah. -Maybe I can find a spot for him.

-You can? -Sure.

You mean that, Officer?

Oh...

You got a home, boy.

Maybe... maybe real bones.

Well, here.

Goodbye, old pal.

Hey, Joe. Take care of the mouse hound for me, will ya?

I'll go over to the joint on the corner to get him something to eat.

(chatter)

(whistles)

Hey, bud, give me a half a dollar's worth of bones.

(slurring) Are you going to eat them?

There's an argument for Prohibition, huh?

Where--where can I get some worms?

Worms? You want some worms?

Worms. Long slimy things

with no eyes, no nose,

and no expression.

I hear the fish are crazy about them.

Look, you better lay off that varnish. It'll have you jumping over matches.

Want--Want a match? I'll match your quarters.

Nah. Come on, sit down, take it easy.

Put your puss in that.

(chuckles) You're...

Ooh, say... you're a policeman, aren't you?

Why, do you want to make something out of it?

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll hide something and see if you can find it...

-Look. -What?

I'm gonna hide my foot in a minute.

I don't wanna look for it.

You won't have to look for it, you'll know where it is.

-Here you are. -(chuckles)

That's a lot of bones you're buying.

Yeah, I got a little dog over here in the precinct house.

I picked him up. Looks to me like he hasn't eaten in about three days.

I wanna give him a little treat.

-You're new around here, ain't ya? -Brand new.

Hiya, Red.

-Here's a half a buck. -Yeah, I know what it is.

My name's not "Red," and besides, I'm a blonde.

Well, whatever you are, it's very beautiful hair. Where did you get it?

Oh, go take a walk and feed your dog.

All right, baby. I'll see you later.

Yeah, a lot later.

So long, Bosco. Give my regards to your wife.

I-I-I'm not married.

You're not married, huh? What a lucky woman.

Hey, who's gonna pay that check?

Does it make any difference who pays for it?

-No. -Well, then, you pay for it.

I'm very appreciative...

♪ A fishing I will go ♪

♪ A fishing I will go ♪

♪ I might go fishing...♪

Go on, it's good for you.

Say...

Do you know...?

What's his name?

Who?

Go on, scram, will you? You're scaring the dog.

Oh, oh. That's a nice dog.

I bet he's a nice dog, what about it?

Has he got worms?

Will you get out of here?

Did you put your-- What kind of a dog is it?

It's a police dog.

-Is he yours? -Certainly.

Uh... that's no police dog.

That's a stool pigeon.

(blows raspberry)

Oh... you can't get away with that!

(spits)

Come on! Come on!

(kids chattering)

(whistle blows)

Oh, I...

-Who broke that window? -He did!

-I did not! -Hey, hey, hey, what's the matter with--

Wait a minute!

Don't you know you're breaking the law? I ought to haul you guys in for this.

-What's your name? -Shultz.

-What's your name? -Murphy.

-Can you lick this guy? -Sure!

-Are you sure about it? -Sure.

Well, don't let me see you fighting.

(punches landing, wood rattling)

-Who won? -Who won what?

The Spanish-American War.

(blows raspberry)

Hey, you, watch your step.

Let that be your last drop, Joe Morgan.

Hello, Al. What are you doing down here?

Captain sent me down to look at this Duke Castenega over.

-He's on the boat. -Yeah?

-Say, he's a pretty tough guy, ain't he? -Pretty bad hombre.

Shot his way out of three or four scrapes.

-What are you gonna do, run or make a pinch? -Bah!

But you can't pin anything on him!

But someday, his foot will slip.

Ooh, he's in again.

Say, you're an officer, ain't ya?

Chandu the Magician.

And you're a detective, ain't you?

Sure I am.

Well, this...

fish just stole my bait.

Now, what-- what are you gonna do about it?

What are we gonna do about what?

I-I'm an American citizen, ain't I?

Mm-hmm. Okay, American, what do you want?

I'm entitled to protection, ain't I?

Sure, you are.

Well, a fish just stole my bait.

Now, what are you gonna do about it?

Say, what's the matter with you? Are you drunk?

You ought to know, you're a detective.

-Wise guy. -Who, him?

-No, you. -Oh.

Where do you get your liquor?

Y-y-you know a place to get liquor?

-You do. -Well, certainly I do,

but I thought you knew a better place.

-I don't drink. -Yeah... well, I do.

I know you do. You drink like a fish.

I drink like a fish! I...

That reminds me, listen. A fish just stole my bait.

Now, what are you gonna do about it?

I'm gonna throw you in the hoosegow if you don't shut up.

Oh... you're gonna do what?

You--you, too. Come on! Come on! Come on!

(blows raspberry)

-MAN: Hey! Hey, mister! -MAN 2: Man, overboard!

MAN: Say, look.

-Get a rope. -Get something here.

(crowd shouting)

-Move over. -DOLAN: Ah, you...

(shouting)

You would fall in, you half-wit!

(shouting continues)

DOLAN: Give me that rope!

Oh!

MAN: Grab ahold of that.

MAN 2: Come on, fellas!

Get a ladder!

Come on!

Come on!

Goodbye, Mr. Castenega.

It has been a great pleasure.

-Goodbye, Mr. Castenega. -Charmed to have met you. Goodbye.

Have a grand trip. I hope we'll meet you again.

I hope so, too.

Boy, what a lucky one that was.

Stick with him.

He's all right now.

MAN: Always drunk...

Hey, you had a pretty narrow escape, you know that, don't you?

Say, what--what's the idea of pushing me overboard?

What do you mean, push you overboard?

Yes, you helped him, too.

What's the matter with you, are you crazy?

No, I'm not crazy! And another thing,

when you pushed me off of the pier,

you both dived in and sat on me

and tried to drown me.

-(laughter) -Yes...

Yes, and you're all witnesses.

Please, give me your names...

Hey, we better beat it.

This is no way to treat a citizen!

I've been a fisherman all my life.

You know, those crooks must have got away

while we were in the river.

Certainly they did. What did you think they were gonna do,

hop in after us to keep us company?

Well, even if they did get away,

you saved that fella's life.

I just hope Chief Inspector John O'Brien hears about it.

It'll do you a lot of good.

Bob Rooney's the guy that ought to hear about it.

Say, there's a great guy, and a square shooter.

I wouldn't be surprised if you got a medal.

I don't want a medal. I want a dry suit of underwear.

What happened to you fellas?

We fell in the drink.

It's the first bath I ever had with my clothes on.

How?

I fell in and he hopped in to pull me out.

Ah, don't believe him. I fell overboard and he helped me out.

Well, guzzle that, it'll warm you up.

Ah, boy, that hits the spot.

I'll be seeing ya.

Hiya, Red. Meet my friend, Al.

How do you do, Al?

Well, now that you've introduced me to Al,

why don't you get somebody to introduce me to you?

You've got a sweet little disposition.

How would you like to go over to the park with me

and help me tramp down all the flowers?

With feet like yours, you don't need me to help you.

Let me know when you get a day off, will ya?

I'll take you for a nice trip through the cemetery.

Love to. Let me know when you're making your last trip.

All right, sweetheart, I'll be glad to do that for you.

Just charge the coffee to me, will you, baby?

Fresh.

-(man sings drunkenly) -Oh, Trader Arn is here.

Probably drown himself in a bowl of chowder.

(continues singing)

Now, what are you doing back here?

-I-I-I want my change. -What change?

The change from my breakfast this morning. I gave you the money.

Now, you get out of here or I'll call a policeman.

You could-- Oh, that reminds me!

I've just saved two policemen from drowning.

I'm a hero!

(muttering)

What--

what--what are you gonna do about it?

(spits)

Oh, no--

Oh, is that so?

Come on, you're gonna get--

Do it, do it! Come on and do it!

Oh...

MAN: Two chowders, Joe.

Give me Beakman 3-8-500.

Hello, Mr. Bagnold?

This is Helen. Can I talk with my sister?

Hello?

Hello, Helen.

Yes.

Yes, we're gonna be married this month.

I told Pop about it this morning-- he was tickled to death.

I'll tell you more about it tonight.

Bye.

Oh, Mr. Castenega,

we haven't seen you in a year.

No, we've been traveling in South America.

Well, your things are still safe.

"Always safe"-- that's our motto.

-How's business? -Oh, splendid.

You'd be surprised how many people have converted their securities into cash

and put all of their valuables in safety deposit boxes.

Well, that's just what we're here for,

to add to our little nest egg.

Oh! Come right in.

Oh, by the way, what was our number?

Oh, Miss Riley, what's the number of the Castenega box?

-806. -806...

Well, Catherine, long time no see.

I thought you were never coming back.

You haven't forgotten me, have you?

No.

Just a little remembrance.

(whispers)

That is positively the last one.

(giggles)

I've got to go back to work.

(giggles)

You know, if you'll do what we want,

you will never have to work again.

Oh, yeah?

Just one more little brandy?

No, thank you.

I'm going.

Goodbye.

-Goodbye. -Bye.

Are you gonna do what I asked you?

Oh, Du, why did you have to come back?

Just as I was beginning to forget you.

Just as I've managed to get things straightened out.

Then you don't want to see me anymore?

Oh, no, I didn't mean that.

You want to see me again?

I'll take you to dinner tonight.

All right.

What luck?

She'll give me the numbers.

Well, hadn't you better get them before the brandy wears off?

I guess you're right. I'll drop in at the barber shop,

then call for her at the bank and take her to dinner.

See you back here about midnight.

Good luck.

Well, we're lucky to have a brother who works so fast with women.

If it weren't for women, he wouldn't work at all.

But you're right, he certainly polishes them off.

Duke, you're going to take a little walk with us.

-Where to? -Oh, just down to headquarters.

Come on. That'll be all today.

Get your coat and hat.

Say, you haven't got anything on me.

If you don't think so, you're crazy.

Come on.

Can you beat that? Who pays who and how?

You're a credit to the force, Patrolman Dolan,

and for saving that man from drowning, I'm gonna recommend you a promotion.

"Detective Dolan." How does that sound to you?

Jake, sir.

And as for you, you...

What do you suppose you were sitting at Pier 13 for?

To fish?

-The Duke wasn't on the boat. -No?

Well, he was on that boat, and he got off that boat.

We know that.

He must have sneaked out the back door.

The back door of a boat? Say, listen.

The only thing that could save you

is for you to stick around here with Dolan.

Do what he does the way he does it, and then maybe you'll learn something.

Oh, take him away.

-Jake, Captain. -Jake, Captain.

Well, I won't be needing this much longer.

Now I know I'm gonna change that derby I bought the other day.

-Oh, hello. -Never mind a "hello."

I'm here to tell you this hat I bought is no good.

Come in to tell you the hat's no good.

What are you kicking about? You only got one.

I got hundreds of them here and none of them are any good.

(chuckles) How do you think I feel about it?

Yeah, how do you think he feels about it?

Yeah, how do you think-- You got me doing it now.

Come on now, all kidding aside, I want another hat.

Have you got a nice one?

Sure, I got all kinds of hats.

I got hard hats for hard heads,

round hats for round heads,

and soft hats for soft heads.

Remember that, if you ever want to buy a hat.

Here you are.

A happy warrior.

There's the hat I sold to Al Smith.

There's the hat Smith wore when he ran for president.

Yeah? He might have worn the hat when he ran, but he didn't win.

I can't help it. I couldn't run for him.

-It's a little small. -Yes, it is. It's a little small.

-Here, try that. -All right.

You know, I was disappointed. I thought Smith was going to win.

Me too. There's enough Smiths in the phone book to elect him.

Yeah, that's better. Much better.

-Too small. -I want the black one, anyway.

Yeah, that don't look bad.

I'll try this one.

You know, a Smith might not have made a bad president at that.

MILLINER: Ah, you can't tell. It took two Smiths to make a cough drop.

Yeah, that ain't bad, huh?

It's all right.

-I think I'll take this one. -He'll take it.

Okay.

Say, uh, maybe I ought to put your initials in it so nobody will steal it.

Nobody will steal it. What are you talking about? I'm a detective.

Nobody'll steal it, he's a detective.

Uh-huh. There's a fine detective-- I sold him his own hat.

Oh, hello there. Nice day.

It was.

Say, didn't I meet you somewhere once?

I've been somewhere once.

That's where I met you.

Well, once was enough.

MILLINER: Oh, uh, excuse me, Miss Riley.

-Meet Officer Dolan. -What do you mean, "officer"? I'm a detective.

Yeah, you can tell by your feet.

-Oh, fresh, huh? -Fresh, huh?

Hey, I just wanted to remind you of the wedding tomorrow night.

Oh, gonna be a wedding tomorrow night, huh?

Gonna be a wedding tomorrow night.

Don't forget now, there's a wedding tomorrow night.

KATE: I do.

"With this ring, I thee wed."

With this ring, I thee wed.

"For as much as you have thus consented together in holy wedlock,

I now pronounce you man and wife."

And may the devil take the first one that goes between you.

(mumbling)

Congratulations!

Just a minute, please.

There you are. (chuckles)

Come on!

Who'd like a drink, huh? Come on!

That's good beer.

(belches)

MAN: Atta boy. All the way down. All the way.

Why, he's a sea lion.

Whoo!

How do you do it?

Hey, Mike! Mike!

Hey, he's the sea lion here.

Hey, Mike. Come over here.

Hello, Joe. How are things going out here?

-Okay. -Pass this along.

How's things on the inside?

Oh, no fights yet.

That tugboat captain that Pop invited

is in there eating like a sea lion.

The Baby Face is coming up.

Here, Gordon.

Well, Baby Face, who invited you to this wedding?

Oh, I just happened to be in the neighborhood

and thought I'd like to congratulate the bride.

Well, make it short.

Hello, Kate.

I see they got that strong-arm brother of yours after all.

You don't think they can keep him locked up for long, do ya?

Well, as far as I'm concerned,

they can keep him locked up for life.

Now, is that a nice thing for your sister to say about my brother?

Congratulations.

Well, here's to the bride.

So you waited until they locked my brother up

and then ran out on him, eh?

Oh, no. No, I--

Well, let me tell you something.

He'll be out in a week.

You're still working in the same place?

-What if I am? -Oh, so you are, eh?

Well, I can square it with the Duke

if you'll give him that list of numbers he wants.

Oh, no. Please.

Please. I--

So you're still crazy about the big boy?

No.

No.

Well, he's still mad about you.

You know that, don't you?

He can talk of nobody else each time I see him.

Oh, don't remind me.

Don't.

BABY FACE: Well, let me tell you something.

And let me tell you something.

Kate's through with the Duke for good, see?

And we're through with you,

so get out.

So you're through with us, eh?

Well, wait and see.

I knew his coming here was bad news.

Who put all those hats on the bed?

I told 'em it was bad luck.

What'd he want around here?

Nothing.

Well, it better be nothing.

Doesn't he know you're married?

Sure. Just came to wish me good luck.

Well, the best piece of luck you ever had

was the day I got rid of his brother.

I know it.

He's out of my life for good.

Shake on that.

I mean it.

-On the level? -Yeah.

Aw, that's the way to talk.

Now, come on, snap into it.

Remember, this is your wedding.

MAN ON RECORD: ♪ Gigolo ♪

♪ Though your feet are dancing ♪

♪ Still I know ♪

♪ That your lonely heart is aching so ♪

♪ Keep smiling, my poor gigolo ♪

What's a gigolo?

Gigolo is a fella that takes money for dancing with women!

Huh? Not in my house, he don't.

Come on. Out the window you must go,

poor old gigolo.

(people scream)

Here comes the cops.

(all murmuring)

What kind of a joint is this?

What's going on here anyway?

Yeah, what's going on here?

Who're you?

Oh, we're just celebrating me daughter's wedding, that's all.

Oh, you were, huh? Just celebra--

Oh. So you're getting married, huh?

Well, cut out the noise, all of ya.

Yeah, cut out the noise, all of ya.

It's not me daughter Helen's getting married.

It's me other daughter Kate.

Oh, it's Kate that's get--Oh, you're not getting married, huh?

Oh, I thought you were get--

Who said you were making any noise?

Yeah, who said you were making any noise?

PAT: Yeah, who said we were making any noise?

My name is Danny Dolan. What's yours?

Pat Riley.

That's the best handshake I've had for years.

He's no crooner.

Hey. Hey. What's that?

Yeah, what's that?

PAT: That lad, that's Eddie, me new son-in-law.

Oh, he's all right. Eddie.

Eddie, come on. Smile for the man now.

Oh, come on. A big one. There you are.

You see, he's just a young horse.

You can tell his age from his teeth.

(laughter)

Come on, have a drink, huh?

No, no, no. Never drink while I'm on duty.

No, never drink when I'm on duty.

Never drink when-- ah, what's this, a brother act or something?

Come on, have a drink.

No, no, no, we gotta get back on the job.

No, we gotta get back to work.

So long, Eddie old boy. So long. Good luck to ya.

Good luck to the bride.

And you know what I think about you.

You know what he thinks about you.

(laughter)

Say, Sherlock.

Just what do you think of me?

I think you're a pretty fresh beezark.

Pretty fresh beezark.

-Wait downstairs. -Downstairs.

Downstairs!

And what's more, you got a lot to learn.

Lot to learn.

What are you trying to do, kid me?

Good old Sherlock. You catch right on, don't you?

(glass breaks)

What was that?

Bridegroom must have dropped his teeth.

You know, you ain't such a bad kid after all.

Say, uh, you want any of those palookas thrown out?

No. They'll all be passing out pretty soon.

Well, any time you want a favor done, just sing out.

You can do me one right-- ♪ now ♪

-What? -Put that derby on straight.

Jake.

Hey, beezark. You wanna do a favor for me?

-What is it? -Park that wad of gum.

Jake.

Hey, Danny, that was a funny wedding we blew in on the other night, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Remember the guy with the big teeth that got married?

Yeah.

I heard that he fainted three times just before the ceremony.

-He did. -Yeah, but it didn't help him any.

They went right on with it anyway.

MAN ON RADIO: Calling car 4-8-7.

Calling car 4-8-7.

Investigate a disturbance at Ed's Chowder House

opposite Pier 13.

A drunken man.

Ed's Chowder House.

That's where that darn beezark of mine works.

Give it the gas.

Calling car 4-8-7.

Calling car 4-8-7.

Proprietor.

This drunken man struck me with a fish,

and I want him arrested.

You'll have to tell it to the cops.

They're on their way over here now.

Tell it to Sweeney.

I don't think my friend knows Mr. Sweeney.

Well, then I'll introduce him.

Proprietor!

I insist on this man being arrested!

He again struck me with a bloater.

You're wrong, actually.

-It's a salmon. -(hiccups)

I know what it is. It's a bloater.

I don't like to be contrary,

but you were struck with a salmon.

What's the use of wrangling?

I know the difference between a bloater and a salmon!

You're both wrong. It's a halibut. A halibut. See that?

Uh, pardon me, old boy.

You made an error.

It's not a halibut. It's a striped bass.

Call me that again.

Call me that again.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

-(hiccups) -What's going on here?

Oh, you're the guy that pushed me off of the pier, ain't ya?

What are ya gonna do about it?

What are--

Hiya, Red. What's going on here? What's the trouble?

Oh, just a little argument.

Argument? I was struck in the mouth...

with a bloater.

You call that an argument?

You're quite right actually, old boy.

That's more than an argument.

Who's looking for an argument?

Take it easy. Take it easy. Take it easy, you.

Come on. Come on now. Who slapped who and with what and how?

Oh, it seems these two Spaniards were quarreling.

Don't call me a Spaniard.

Understand that. Please.

Listen, if you don't shut up--

So you're drunk again.

Come on, Archibald.

You had no right to slap this gentleman in the mouth.

Who struck me in the mouth?

Oh, you struck him in the mouth.

All right. All right. Go on over there and sit down.

Come on now. Cut out the comedy.

Who slapped who and with what?

This gentleman got it.

Right here.

Ah, now we've got it.

He was struck in the mouth with a salmon.

I tell you, it was a bloater.

It was not a bloater. It was a salmon.

All right. All right, Charlie. Take it easy.

Take it easy. How about it, Frank?

What happened? Do you know?

I was sitting here with my beak in a bowl of chowder,

and this stew comes in with a big shad in his mitt.

This Chinaman here said, "Waiter, where's my fish?"

And the stewbum says, "Here it is,"

and wrapped it around his puss.

Sir, I am no Chinaman.

And furthermore, it was not a shad.

What difference does it make

whether it was a shad or a swordfish?

Ah, my boy, a vast difference.

Had it been a swordfish,

you would've been dead.

(hiccups)

I wanna be paid for my fish.

I shan't pay for it.

Well, I won't pay for it either.

And I positively refuse to pay for it.

I'll pay for it.

You bet you'll pay for it, Charlie.

Come on with me. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come with Papa.

I'll be back.

Yeah, in 30 days.

Wait. Wait a minute. Wait.

Now listen to me, Cock Robin.

Oh, you killed Cock Robin.

No, no, no.

But I'm gonna kill you, you cute little devil you.

Never touched me.

(blows raspberry)

Come back here, Oswald,

and I'll plant this number nine right up in--

I'm gonna date that dame up tomorrow night, Al.

You better watch out. Her old man's a tugboat captain.

He'll wrap a funnel around your neck.

If I can date her up, he can wrap the whole tug around my neck.

Beakman 3-8-4-9-6.

Hello, Kate?

I see your boyfriend was sent up the river.

Yeah, I-- I did hear about it.

-Yeah. -Who's that?

Uh, it's Helen.

I can't talk to you now.

Eddie's getting ready to leave.

I'll call you back later.

Are you sure you got everything, Eddie?

Aw, my pajamas.

Oh, I knew you'd forget something.

Well, Dad, anything I can bring you back from Cuba?

Bottle of three-star brandy, huh?

These days you're lucky if you can get two stars.

I almost forgot.

You go a letter here from the war department.

I'll read it to you.

"Sgt. John Collins, sir.

Dr. Thomas Reagan reports a general paralytic condition.

Totally does not affect your sight or hearing.

Proper treatment, which the government will provide,

will prevent the condition from spreading,

but complete cure is considered extremely doubtful.

The Veteran's Administration Bureau of Pensions

will continue to send your pension indefinitely.

D.W. Morgan, Director."

Ah, don't let that worry you, Dad.

I'll get you a real good doctor,

and in three months he'll have you talking like a wash woman.

What do you say, old timer?

Well, honey, I'll be writing to you.

You better. And, Eddie, no drinky drinky.

Oh, I promise.

So long, Dad.

Oh, Eddie, everything's gonna be all right now.

Why, what do you mean?

Everything has been all right, hasn't it?

Of course.

But it's gonna be even better.

Ah, sure.

Well, so long, honey.

Goodbye, Eddie.

MAN: Yes, sir, folks. This is the Nightingale 16-tube radio.

Now, I'm not gonna tell you anything about this radio

because this radio speaks for itself,

but think of it. There are 16 tubes.

Now, each tube means more power.

More power means more stations.

More stations mean more fun, and more fun for the Rileys.

Now, can the Rileys afford not to have fun?

Can the Rileys afford not to have fun?

Yes, you're right, no. Another thing.

You don't need any grounds. You don't need any aerial.

All you need is a pair of ears and the price to pay for it.

You--you get the longwaves, you get the shortwaves,

and then you hear about the finger waves, the permanent waves.

You can get Japan, China, Australia, India, Alaska.

If you get Alaska, you'll get Chile.

If you get Chile, turn back to Africa.

You'll get warm again.

It brings the world to you.

Your mother, your step-mother. Your step-father.

In fact, anyone that lives in the same house with you.

I tell you folks that the Nightingale radios

are to American homes what fleas are to a dog.

They're absolutely no good without them.

-Amen. -Yeah, and here's my card in case of any trouble.

There won't be any trouble, so you don't need the card.

Well, folks, I'm going along.

I'll be seeing you again.

Not if I hear you first.

Ha ha!

Gee, it's a dandy, Pop.

And so's the talking machine that sold it to you.

Oh, Pop, put on your coat.

-For what? -Danny Dolan's coming.

-Who? -Danny Dolan.

You remember. The detective that was here the night of Kate's wedding.

Wanted us to cut out the noise.

-What noise? -What noise?

Oh, that fella. Ho, ho. The fella with the handshake.

Speaking of coppers, I hear flat feet.

Oh, hurry up, Pop. Put on your coat. Come on.

(knocks "Shave and a haircut")

(knocks "two bits")

-Oh, it's you. -Yeah, it's me.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's all right. I won it.

Oh. Oh, hello there, Mr. Riley. How are you?

Many a time worse, but never better.

Welcome to me house, lad.

-Come on, sit down. Enjoy yourself. -Thanks. Thanks.

There you are. Try that.

-Thanks. -That's okay. I won it.

-Oh. -Where's your hat, Pop?

What do I want with me hat?

I thought you were going out.

Out? No.

Oh, yeah. Yes, I was just going over to see your sister Kate.

Well... (laughs)

-Well, so long. -So long, Mr. Riley.

Here's one for you, Dan.

The first time Pat ever saw a train,

it was dashing into a tunnel about 60 miles an hour,

and he looked after it and says, "Oh, if that thing ever missed that hole."

The old man's feeling good, huh?

Here, I'll take that.

Are you afraid someone's gonna steal it?

I'll check it. Give it to me.

Now, don't break that, okay?

All right. I'll trust you with that.

Well, how do I look?

Jake.

Jake.

(new song starts)

Want another piece?

Thanks.

Why don't you send for your trunk?

I did.

Well, it looks like I've won myself a home.

I won't do it. I won't.

Oh, yes, you will.

You're gonna do it sooner or later anyhow.

I won't. I tell you, I won't!

Are you gonna give me those numbers?

No.

-Are you gonna give 'em to me? -No.

-Are you gonna give 'em to me? -No! You're hurting me.

Are you gonna give 'em to me? Are you gonna give 'em to me?

No! No.

PAT: No thanks, McGinley.

I'm on the water wagon. I'm going up to see me daughter, Kate.

Hello, Pop.

Hello, Kate.

How are ya? Is the Sarge up?

Well, I'll see you Saturday night at the policeman's ball.

-Aw, Danny, do me a favor. -What?

Put that derby on straight.

If you wear it like that, people will really think you're tough.

That's me. From now on, hardboiled.

-Not with me. -Yes, sir.

With you and with everybody.

Kinda glad I sent for that trunk now, ain't you?

Hmm?

I saw a swell picture last night.

The name of it was the-- the strange something or other...

"Strange Inner Tube," or something.

Oh, I know. I saw that.

That's the one where the actors say one thing

and then a minute later say out loud what they really think.

Yeah.

You know, you remind me an awful lot of the leading lady.

Good looking, and a swell figure.

DANNY: That ought to hold you for a while, maybe.

Say, come to think of it, you remind me of the leading man.

So big and strong.

HELEN: Probably won't be able to get into that derby now.

Hey, what a squawk your old man'd put up

if he come in and found us like this, huh?

DANNY: If he does, it's every man for himself.

Well, it wouldn't be anything to squawk about.

HELEN: Not much?

If he walked in here and saw me like this,

they'd have to put you under ether to extract his foot.

That's all.

You know, I like your old man.

That old guy's got a great sense of humor.

His jokes are simply marvelous.

Danny: The old man's all right.

But how those jokes of his smell.

I bet with an old man like that,

you can't fool around like most girls do, can ya?

Hmm? I bet you don't even take a drink, do ya?

Only when I have a cold.

HELEN: Hope he didn't get a whiff of my breath at Kate's wedding.

Hey, um,

I bet you never been kissed either, have ya?

'Course not.

HELEN: Hope he didn't hear about the fireman's picnic.

You know, I--I feel as though I've known you a long, long time.

DANNY: I think I better slip this dame a little kiss

before the old man gets here.

HELEN: Oh, he kissed me.

I'm so thrilled.

But I'll pretend I'm mad.

How dare you?

Oh, is that the way you feel about it?

Yes, that's the way I feel about it.

Oh, all right. All right. So...

DANNY: Bet if I had a big slug of gin I could warm this dame up.

Say, don't that light kind of bother your eyes?

-No. -It don't?

Funny. It bothers mine a little bit.

DANNY: My eyes are all right,

but a fella's got a better chance in the dark.

What are you thinking about?

Oh, nothing.

HELEN: What I'm really thinking of is,

"Is this guy the marrying kind,

or is he just on the make?"

What are you so quiet about?

Oh, nothin'.

Well, this dame didn't make much of a squawk about that kiss.

Think I'll put out the lights and give her the works.

Hey. What's going on around here?

All right, checkers.

What do you mean, "checkers"?

Every time I make a move, you jump me.

Hey, do you think I was trying to get fresh with you?

Not much.

Oh. All right.

If that's the way you feel about it,

Good night.

Hey, you better get somebody else

to go to that policeman's ball with you.

And if you don't think I can, you're crazy.

Jake.

Jake to you, you big flat-footed beezark.

(telephone rings)

Yes?

Yes, sir. Right away.

Hey, Duke, the warden wants to go to Troy right away.

Just tightening up the pipe block.

Look out down there, I'm going out.

Okay! Wish I was going with you!

There you are, boy.

That a baby. Yeah.

Gotta go after that ham, don't ya?

Huh? Gotta go after that, don't ya, poocher?

Poocher old boy.

All right, go on now.

(whistles)

Hello, Ginger.

Think I'd forgotten ya?

Look out. Don't bite that dog.

Hey.

Oh, hello.

What are you doing down here?

Just came down to get a little fresh air.

Well, you won't get it standing over the garbage can.

I'll tell you that.

Come on over here.

Well, what are you doing here?

Thought you were going to the policeman's ball.

My feet are too flat. I can't dance.

Well, mine are okay.

I'm on my way.

Oh, come on. Stick around a little while, will ya?

Well, I can for a little while.

But not long. I got a date.

With who?

Oh, a fella. You wouldn't know him.

Helen, I'm awful sorry about the other night.

-Are you? -Yeah.

But a guy don't know what to do anymore nowadays.

No kidding.

If he don't neck a girl, she thinks he's too slow,

and if he does neck her, she thinks he's fresh.

Hmm.

Girl don't know how to treat a fella either.

If she lets him maul her,

he thinks she's no good.

And if she doesn't, he thinks she's old-fashioned.

Oh, no, no. Now, you're wrong about that.

That's the kind of a girl that every guy wants.

That is, I mean, you know, if he thinks anything of her.

-Is it, Danny? -Why certainly.

Say, do you realize that I never knew how much I liked you

until the other night when you give me the air?

Hmm. I guess it's the same with girls.

They never fall hard till they're dropped.

No kidding. Is that the way you feel about it?

Uh-huh. How about you?

Jake.

Now, that's the way to kiss.

Sure. I'm acting like a gentleman.

Yeah, acting.

Hey, will you quit running around like that?

You got me dizzy.

I don't mind it.

Oh, well, you wouldn't. You've spent half your life on a merry-go-round.

Let's go up to Kate's.

Will the guy with the teeth be there?

Why don't we go over to your house?

-The old man's there. -Oh.

I guess maybe we better go to Kate's.

How about your date?

Oh, well, I just said that.

Oh, I see. Trying to make me jealous, huh?

No. As a matter of fact, I am stepping out with a fella.

-With who? -You.

All right. Let's step.

-Danny? -Huh?

Do me a favor.

Sure. What?

Put your hat on straight.

Jake.

(person whistles)

MAN ON RADIO: News of the Air.

This program comes to you every night

through the courtesy of the Zamtat Company.

A daring escape from the state prison was made today

by that notorious criminal Duke Castenega.

The car in which he escaped was found on a lonely road

above Scarsdale.

The driver of the car was discovered fatally wounded beside it.

A posse of 35 men so far have failed to locate the fugitive,

who, from last reports, is heading toward New York City.

All police have been notified.

A description follows.

Six feet tall, weight, 190 pounds.

Complexion, dark. He was carrying a gun.

(knock at door)

Anybody seeing this criminal, notify the police immediately.

Oh, hello, Helen.

-Hello, Kate. -Hello. Hello. How are ya?

Whoa. Whoa.

Oh, excuse me.

Hey, what's all the noise?

-What noise? -What noise?

Oh, the wedding.

We brought the dog over for the Sarge.

Hey, hey, come here.

Come here. Come on.

(clicks tongue)

Hiya, Sarge. I've heard a lot about you.

Ginger's for you, Sarge.

Yeah. He can do tricks in the house.

I said tricks. Watch him. Watch him. Watch him.

Come on, sit up. Sit up. Sit up.

Now tell the sarge you're glad to have a home.

(barks)

There ya are. How's that?

Come on now. Roll over. Roll over.

Go on. Show 'em how you get rid of fleas.

There you are. Right on your carpet, Sarge.

(laughs) Now go on over there and tell the Sarge you love him.

Go on. Show him how you love him.

-(barks) -Go on.

There you are. Cute, huh?

Well, looks like the pooch's got a home.

And I've got one too.

-Wanna see me to it? -Sure, sure.

-Goodnight, Sarge. -Goodnight, Sarge. Glad to have seen ya.

See ya again, huh?

Now you stay here. Stay here. Go on. Go on.

Go on. Stay there.

-Good night, Kate. -Good night, Helen.

Hey, don't forget to feed him.

You know you gotta give him something to eat once in a while

or he won't stay.

All right, I will. Good night.

Hey, lend me a kiss till tomorrow, will you?

That's one you owe me.

Now we're even.

Come on.

(telephone rings)

(rings)

Hello?

Duke.

Now this Castenega is still at large.

Not a trace of him.

We know he had a girl down on the lower east side.

It's up to you to find her.

Any description of her, Captain?

Oh, yes, a perfect description.

I believe she had a couple of feet and wore a hat.

Well, I was just asking.

Yeah, and I was just telling you.

I'm promising promotion,

and the papers are offering $10.000

to the man who gets to Duke Castenega.

I want results. Go on and get him.

Dead or alive.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Captain. Can I, uh-- can I touch you for ten?

-You cannot. -I cannot.

You--you'll be safe here.

I knew you wouldn't fail me.

I didn't wanna help you.

But I had to.

Hey, you, you're under arrest.

-What for? -For resisting an officer.

What do you mean?

You refused to marry me, didn't ya?

Oh, gee. You gave me heart failure.

Come on. Give me a cup of coffee, will ya?

I'm doing you a favor, you know.

We're closing up.

I'm doing you a favor by drinking this stuff.

Say, do you know that I'm balmy, I'm nuts,

I'm loony, I'm crazy, I'm insane?

There's something the matter with me. I'm in love.

I must be in love.

Do you think a guy would drink 22 cups of coffee a day

if there wasn't something the matter with him?

You better cut it out. Doesn't it keep you up nights?

Certainly it keeps me up nights.

Will you marry me so I can get some sleep?

Maybe you're not as much in love as you think you are.

Maybe I'm--Come on.

Will you quit playing with yourself and talk to me?

I'm more in love with you than I think I are.

I got a pain in my heart right now.

It's probably indigestion.

Well, if it is, this stuff I'm drinking won't help it any.

Oh, come on, will ya?

Come on, be a good pal and marry me, will ya?

Marriage is a serious business.

I know it's a serious business. Listen. Listen.

I get 300 bucks a month, see?

And I'm liable to get more any time.

You can't tell what'll happen in this business.

I might walk right out of that door right now

and capture a couple of famous criminals,

get thousands of dollars reward.

They might even make me a lieutenant or a captain.

-Or a general. -Or a general.

You can't tell what'll happen.

And listen. Think of all the fun we'll have.

Every night at 6:00 when I get through working,

you can come over to the station house and wait for me.

Come on. Will ya?

Will I what? Come to the station house and wait for ya?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Will you marry me?

You really want me to say yes?

Say, what--What do you think I've been doing--

What-- Yes.

Consider it said.

Give me your hand. Give me your hand. Give me your hand.

Wait till you see what I got here.

How do you like that?

-Oh, gee. It's a beaut. -You ain't seen nothing yet.

You really gonna marry me?

I guess I'll have to. We're closing up.

Mm-hmm. Well, I'm closing in before you close up.

After a kiss like that, you'll have to marry me.

From now on, I'm Mrs. Sherlock Holmes.

Nuts to Mrs. Sherlock Holmes.

He's a dead one. From now on, you're Mrs. Danny Dolan--

alive and rarin' to go.

Give us another kiss will ya?

(barking)

(knock at door)

-Hello, Ginger. -Hello there, Ginger. How are you, boy?

-Kate. -Come here, Ginger.

Are you all alone, Sarge?

Go on. Hello, Sarge.

Kate must have gone to the store.

Come on. Put your feet up there. Easy now.

Come on, hon. Come on. Easy. Easy. That's the boy.

That a boy. We brought him a new collar, Sarge.

I won it.

There you are. Now, see what I told you?

Collar makes him look like a sissy.

What's the matter, Sarge?

Look, Danny.

He's trying to tell us something.

Kate says he always talks that way to Eddie.

-Blinking his eyes. -Yeah?

Hey, he was in the war wasn't he?

-Yeah. -What outfit was he with?

I think Eddie said he was with the signal corps.

Sure. That's it. He's trying to telegraph us.

Maybe he wants something, see?

And he can't make the folks understand what it is.

You're right, Danny.

Don't be so surprised about it.

I'm nearly always right.

I'll show you how to find out what he wants.

Look, Sarge, take it easy now, will ya?

When you close your eyes, that's the dashes, huh?

When you wink, that's the dots. Is that right?

All right.

I don't know what this is all about.

We'll get a copy of the Morse Code tomorrow and dope it out.

All right, Sarge. Shoot.

There it is.

Can't be much, huh? It's pretty short.

Maybe he wants more sugar in his coffee

-or something like that. -Yeah.

Maybe he's giving us a winner in tomorrow's handicap.

(Ginger barking)

Hey, sit down. You're rocking the boat.

Look at the bloodhound. What's the matter with him?

(barking continues)

Hey. (whistles)

Look at him. Maybe he smells a rat.

Hey.

What's the matter, boy, huh?

Something in there?

Come on.

Wanna go in?

All right, go on in.

DOLAN: Hey, what are you doing?

What are you doing up here?

What's up here, anyway?

Come on, come on, pooch.

(clicks tongue) Come on, there's nothing up here.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Who's there?

What's the matter with you, did I scare you?

What is the matter, Kate? You look as if you'd seen a ghost.

Nothing. Just kind of startled me, that's all.

How long have you been here?

We just dropped by to bring a collar for Ginger.

-Oh, it's cute. -Yeah.

Say, by the way, where'd you win this?

Oh, what do you mean, where'd I win--nix on that.

Well, it's kind of sudden, isn't it?

Yeah, it was kind of sudden.

It was a sort of an accident.

What do you mean, accident?

Well, accidents will happen.

Well, uh...

I'm so happy.

(crying)

Say, how about me?

(crying)

Well, holy mackerel, I ain't that bad, am I?

(crying) No, Danny, I'm just... happy, that's all.

Oh.

Well, you want to make me happy?

Start unloading that ice cream.

Yeah, might cool you off.

Oh, wisecracker.

Hey, Sheba.

Make mine all chocolate.

You'll take vanilla.

I don't like vanilla, I want chocolate.

You'll take vanilla and like it.

I'll take it, but I won't like it.

Thanks.

What's the matter? Don't you like vanilla either?

Oh, sure. I'll save mine for the Sarge.

Oh.

Say, uh,

what did Danny go upstairs for?

He went up to get Ginger.

Oh.

Listen,

did you read about that beezark he used to go around with

breaking jail and killing a man?

Yeah.

I always told you he was a bad egg.

And to think you were gonna marry him.

You don't suppose there's any chance of his coming around here, do you?

Oh, no. Of course not.

Thanks for the ice cream.

You think the old man's home yet?

I don't think so. Let's hurry.

(door closes)

Who's downstairs?

Only the Sarge.

And who was that guy came up here?

Oh, that was my sister's beau.

He's the one that gave the Sarge the dog.

They've all gone.

What about my brother?

Are you going to do it?

Why not?

I'll be back.

He ought to be along any minute now.

Here he comes.

(trolley bell rings)

Just a minute. I'm a detective.

You live one flight up, don't you?

-Yes, sir. -I wanna search the building.

All right, all right.

Hey!

-Hello, Mama. -Hello.

This is a policeman.

Who are these people?

It is my wife, and this is my--

And do you know what this is?

Why, that's a revolver.

Well, just be quiet, and nobody's gonna get hurt.

Sit down.

Sit down...

Who's this?

That's my brother-in-law and this is my sister.

Just a family.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

-Right? -Yup, eight, and three from the wall.

One, two, three.

(sawing wood)

(mechanical whirring)

MAN OVER RADIO: Calling car 1-6-2-0.

Calling car 1-6-2-0.

Go to 43 Bleaker Street.

A woman beating her husband.

-(mechanical whirring) -Calling car 1-6-2-0.

Investigate a woman beating her husband.

Calling car 1-6-2-0.

1371, start right here.

(chatter)

This is a hot one. Another bank robbery.

Yeah, who'd the bank rob this time?

No one. This time the bank was robbed.

Ah, they were double-crossed, huh?

Getting a little dose of their own medicine.

Yeah. Can you imagine?

Six bandits held up the family living over the bank,

bored through the floor into the vault.

They did, huh? Oh, I remember that job. They got away

-with 87 grand, didn't they? -Yeah.

-That ain't a bad haul, 87 grand. -No.

One of these days, they'll steal the White House in Washington.

87 grand--that's a lot of jack, isn't it?

If we had 87 grand, we could get married this afternoon, right, baby?

Hey, stupid, have you doped that out yet?

No. Uh, yes.

Sarge wants me to do an errand.

-Why don't you do it? -I'm going.

CUSTOMER: Two hamburgers...

I'll be right back. You wait here for me?

I'll think it over.

WAITER: Plate of clams.

How about a check?

What, are you gonna write out a check? I'll write it out myself.

One cheese sandwich, 15 cents.

One java, 10 cents.

Uh...

One rice pudding, two bits.

CUSTOMER: Another chowder.

Kate!

What's the matter with you?

-Nothing. -Don't tell me that, you fool, you.

You've got the Duke hiding up in the attic, haven't you?

-Why, no, I... -I'll get him out of here.

Where is he?

Who are you looking for?

-Get out of this house. -Who says so?

-How did you know I was here? -(footsteps approaching)

-Did you tell her? -Oh, no, Duke! No!

It was the Sarge. He signaled with his eyes.

Listen, if I'm caught here, she's in on it.

-You know that, don't you? -Yeah, that's why I don't want him to find you here.

So... you're giving me a break.

No. It's Kate I'm thinking of.

You better be thinking of her.

Run down and get me a taxi cab.

If I do, will you leave right away?

Get me the taxi.

(trolley bell rings)

The man who ordered the taxi-- wait right here, he'll be down in a minute.

You don't have to wait, driver. The guy won't be leaving in a taxi.

Danny, don't arrest him here.

Don't disgrace my sister.

I couldn't disgrace your sister. She did that herself.

And as for you, I thought you were a square shooter.

Danny!

-Danny, wait. -What for?

Helping a murderer, yeah? And double-crossing me.

Danny! Danny, don't go up there. He's got a gun.

(gunshot)

Danny! Danny!

Danny!

Oh, Danny!

You're bleeding. Kate!

Call an ambulance.

Danny, are you hurt?

No, no, no, I'm just resting.

MAN: This your hat, Danny?

You know it's my hat.

Hey, get it nice and tight now, Doc. You know I like to look neat, even if I am wounded.

Well, you did a good job, Dolan.

You're the best man in the precinct.

Thanks, Cap. I'll say the same for you when you get shot.

-How do you feel, Danny? -I feel swell.

What's a little bullet between friends?

Tell me, what was this man, Castenega, doing in this neighborhood?

And what did he want up here?

Oh, why, I... I...

I, uh, uh--I chased him up here, Cap.

-Yeah? -Oh, sure, sure.

I spotted this guy down on Pier 13, see?

And the minute he saw me, he took it on the run, with me after him.

I chased him over about 12 or 14 roofs and ever cellar in the neighborhood.

Well, finally, he broke his way in here, see?

Hopped right over the table there, and I hopped over right after him.

-Yeah, he hopped over right after him. -I hopped over-- Yeah.

Well, you are the means of saving that money, so I'll see that you get the reward.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

Yeah, that's not a bad idea. You want a cup of coffee, Cap?

No, thanks. Never use it. Coffee's bad for you.

-Coffee's bad for you. -Coffee's bad for--

Well, now, get all the rest you can.

Whatever you do, lay off the coffee.

(chuckles) All right, Cap.

-Hey, Al? -Yeah?

Get me a cup of coffee.

Okay.

Danny, I'll never forget this.

I'll never be able to-- to repay you.

Ah, what are you talking about?

You don't have to repay anybody.

I don't--

All you have to do is keep away from those sharp-shooters,

and keep out of trouble, that's all.

You ought to remember, you know, that you're a married woman,

and married women don't cheat...

much.

Stick to Eddie there.

Sure, even if he does look like a runaway horse,

stick to him anyway.

Hey, uh, how about a cigarette?

Thanks.

Was that a wedding, or was that a wedding?

Never saw so much rice in my life.

One guy threw his shoe at me and forgot to take his foot out of it.

Wasn't it great, the way everybody cried?

-Four dollars, please. -Oh...

Now it's my turn to cry.

There you are. Keep the change, you bandit.

Say, and it wasn't a bad idea of mine, either,

going out the back way, was it?

-Nobody knows we're here. -Nobody knows we're here.

No, nobody knows you're here.

Is he going with us?

-I don't know, are you? -I don't know, am I?

(honking)

(chuckles) Hey!

Come on, Katie, hurry.

(laughing)

Come on-- Come on, honey, quick.

(laughing)

You thought you'd give us the slip, eh?

You wouldn't tell anyone where you were going.

Well, if you want to know real bad, we're going to Bermuda.

Bermuda, that's where the onions come from.

Ah, Danny boy, like all the Irish, you have a heart of gold.

Sure is great of you to share the reward with the Sarge, there.

What are you talking about? It was great of him to share it with me.

And I'm going over to tell him so right now.

Danny! You old cheat. I thought you were gonna marry me.

I'll give you a chance the next time.

-Where's Helen? -She's up there. Go ahead.

How are you, Sarge?

What's the matter? Don't you remember me?

I don't blame you. I guess it's the hat.

Still the same Danny Dolan, Sarge, big feet and all.

Gee, it was great of you to come down and see us off, Sarge.

You're a pretty swell guy. You know that, don't you?

It was a mighty nice thing to do, not to tip Eddie off about Kate.

But we know, don't we, Sarge?

She's a great gal and everything's gonna be okay. We know that.

Good luck to you, and lots of it.

Say, I'll send you some postal cards from Havana, see?

Goodbye, Sarge! Good luck to you.

Come on, come on! We're gonna miss the boat.

-Goodbye, Danny! -Goodbye, Danny!

-Goodbye! -Bye!

All right, now, hurry up.

Not here! Not now!

I want you to hold that boat!

-I'm going with you! -That's right!

You're the girl I married, aren't you?

MAN: So long, Danny!

WOMAN: Goodbye, Danny!

Danny,

do me a favor.

Sure, what is it?

Put your hat on the old way.

(laughs)

Jake!

Well, it's all over.

Come on, let's have another drink, huh?

(laughing)

Captioned by Post Haste Digital