Original subtitles

I'll be back. I'm free!

My son, a Nobel Prize winner.

Nobel Prizes, dad. I won two at once.

All because of this baby.

To think you'd cure the common cold

with this desinusizing contraption.

Who could have imagined, nasal decongestion

will bring about world peace?

All of man's aggressions were centered in the sinuses.

'Do you hear me?'

Look, the next time I have to leave work

because you're in trouble, I'm gonna yank you out of school

and put you in the garage changing tires.

You don't need a high school diploma for that.

- I tried, dad, but.. - No buts.

You...you're a squeaky wheel.

You know what I mean?

It's hard enough playin' dad and mom to you kids.

Look, look, all I'm trying to do here is..

I have to work late.

Now, you, you pick up Chris at 4 o'clock

and see that he gets dinner.

- You understand? - I've got study hall.

As in detention?

I was late twice this week

because I had to get Chris to school.

I don't wanna hear excuses

You-you-you can't go to study hall today.

Now you explain it to them. I'm late.

Steven..

...don't be a squeaky wheel.

Your old man on your case again?

He wants me to fit in.

Whatever that means.

"The Stranger."

"Camus."

Bad choice. You wanna fit in?

Read "Teen Beat."

A.

'C.'

B plus.

Just what is that supposed to be Mr. Dart?

Uh, art, sir.

The assignment was to make a table.

Uh, yes, sir, but..

...if everyone made tables

there'd be nothing to put on them.

Uh..

See, I made it to scale.

F...as in failure.

F...as in summer school.

They failed Einstein, he still had a good life.

Man, why do you do these things?

Voices in my head said, "Be creative."

I was helpless.

Uh, I need you to forge the principal's signature.

I've gotta get out of study hall today.

Again? Why do you always involve me?

'Cause you're my best friend.

Because your mom is Riley's secretary.

And because you know the principal's signature.

We're gonna get busted.

You've done it a hundred times.

Look, if I get caught cutting again

Riley is going to kill me.

So just this once, do things his way.

I can't, I have to pick up my brother after school

or my dad will kill me.

- So you die either way. - No sweat.

If there are enough curves you learn to hit 'em.

Just sign on the dotted line, please.

Mom! What-what are you doing here?

I work here remember, dear?

Steven.

Principal Riley would like to see you.

Again.

What did I do?

Let's not keep the principal waiting.

I couldn't have done anything. It's only first period.

This time I'm sending Steve

to the principal's office

for a little higher education.

You know I always say

"Spare the blade, spoil the child."

Uh, I'm missing English.

We're reading the "Scarlet Letter."

You know Hester Prynne does with the minister and has a kid.

So they put a big red A on her dress.

I wrote an essay about how Hester

was the first American feminist.

I could see dating a woman like that.

Have a seat, Steven.

Can't you even give me a hint?

I mean what's going on?

I'm sure Mr. Riley will tell you.

Okay. Okay.

But at least Hester Prynne knew what she did wrong.

'That's right, Mr. Dart.'

'Well, we'll have to hold him here for the time being.'

Hey, please, don't call my father.

We're ready for you, Mr. Dart.

Dad.

This is all a mistake.

I didn't do anything really.

I said I didn't have time for this anymore.

But I didn't do anything wrong.

I like you, Steven.

But..

...because of the seriousness of the situation

I wanted to review your record

before the authorities arrived.

Authorities?

'It's not your tardiness'

or your disobedience

or your inability to get along with others that troubles me.

It's your..

...violation of the school spirit.

'Look at the way you're dressed.'

What's that got to do with anything?

Steven, are you happy here

at Springwood High?

Yeah, sort of.

Then why can't you just get along?

I do get along.

'Mr. Dart.'

Has Steven always been a problem child?

Argumentative?

'Blaming others for his failings?'

He's never been what you'd call normal.

He's the only one who didn't shed a tear

at his mother's funeral.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

You don't think I cared? Are you crazy?

Made me wonder what's inside the kid, you know?

I loved my mother and you know it.

Well..

...we're going to have to take some drastic action

after this last little incident.

Do what you have to do here.

I'll take care of him my way at home.

At least tell me what I did!

'The suspect's name is Steven Dart.'

'5'8", 140 pounds'

'wearing a black coat.'

'Suspect spotted. He's on foot.'

'Headed towards Pearl Street.'

'Unit 25, we're on Pearl Street.'

'We don't see him. You got him?'

'Nope, not yet.'

'Come on, he couldn't have vanished into thin air.'

'Keep looking, guys. We gotta find him.'

Thanks for getting me off the street, man..

..I think.

Great place, huh?

Nobody ever comes down here.

It's all ours.

'That's my math test.'

We don't grade people here.

We just live and let go.

Listen, you've been a big help but..

...I gotta get back.

I gotta straighten this mess out.

Back?

You can't ever go back.

That's where you'll be sleeping.

That's the barracks.

Used to be a modular math class.

Uh, Wendy, uh, Alex

I'd like you to meet Steve.

Steve's another behavior problem.

Alex was born in Greece.

Wendy skipped a couple of grades in school

and I'm left-handed.

That can't be why you're hiding here.

We remind them

that the system doesn't have everything under control.

- They don't like that. - No.

I must have done something I can't remember.

See, that's how they make you feel.

See, weeding the weirdos out

it might make things easier..

...but it doesn't make it better.

No more school.

No more Riley.

Sign me up.

You've gotta prove yourself first.

I want you to do one little thing.

Name it.

Fire when ready.

Steven, don't do this. You're not like them.

Don't listen to him.

He just wants you to become a little robot.

Marching down his halls

saying, "Yes, sir. No, sir. Of course, sir."

That's not true.

I try to nurture individuality.

We-we-well, everyone has to obey the rules.

O-o-otherwise we'd have chaos.

And the, and the rules are so simple.

Obey the rules means..

...give up who you are.

Conform until they can't tell you from the next slug.

There's nothing wrong with a little conformity.

Conform, why don't you just feed

everybody into a meat grinder

so they all come out the same?

They're trying to make me out to be the bad guy, Steve.

You know, if-if you want the real culprits

go after your parents.

They foist you on the schools

and demand that we mold you

into model citizens.

I'm-I'm not to blame.

You pull that trigger..

...and you're one of us, Steve.

No more school..

...no more books..

...no more teachers' dirty looks.

No more school, no more books

no more teachers' dirty looks.

No more school, no more books

no more teachers' dirty looks.

No more school, no more books

no more teachers' dirty looks.

You don't wanna kill me, Steve.

You wanna kill your dad.

He's the one you're angry with.

My father?

He's the problem.

He probably worked your mother to death.

Yeah, yeah.

That's it. Yeah.

You..

You did the right thing, Steve.

You did the right thing.

Come on.

Steve, come on.

Come on, let's get out of here.

You know if they find out you've let me loose

we'll both be dead.

- The bus. - We can make it.

- What? - Get in!

I saved your life.

You should've shot me

while you had the chance, kid.

Mrs. Taylor?

Oh, Matt! Man!

Am I glad to see you.

Steven. You don't fit in.

You're odd. Your clothes, odd.

Your ideas, odd.

Your behavior, very odd.

No wonder they are after you.

What are you on?

Julie, what is wrong with everyone around here?

I'm proud to be a member of

The Future Homemakers Of America Club.

We learn domestic skills

and raise money for worthwhile charities.

Please pledge what you can.

Please pledge what you can.

'Please pledge what you can.'

Please pledge..

Matt, what have they done to you?

Nothing, I'm an integrated part of my community.

'We want you to check this new line for us.'

Come on, we have to get out of here.

I like it here.

Shut up. They're coming.

'We just can't make them'

as cheaply or as quickly as you can.

I don't believe this.

He's brainwashed.

Riley's turned them into zombies or something.

You seem agitated, student

Let me give you a hand.

We've gotta run before they see us.

You've got an artificial hand.

What else would I have?

I am a robot after all.

I am the very best robot I can be.

'Take this one.'

Some...defect

in the design of the cranium.

Come this way.

'I want to show you our production problems.'

See that's why we need your help.

We simply don't have the...knack

for making fully integrated robotic students.

Some of them are just squirrelly.

You can't control them.

They're unpredictable. They're..

Hey!

Now we've got you.

You'll never get away with this.

I'm gonna report you to the school board.

You're nothing but a damn butcher..

See what I mean?

We have to replace this one.

It's too damned aggressive.

Mucked up the whole works.

'Dart!'

What are you doing here?

I thought you wanted to see me, sir.

No. I wanted to see Dark!

That damn computer spit out the wrong name again.

I'm sorry about this, Mr. Dart.

No, no need to apologize.

I'm sorry to have caused anyone any inconvenience really.

I'll just get out of your way.

From now on you won't even notice me.

I learned my lesson.

Hmm?

C.

'C plus.'

B.

A plus.

That's how you break somebody's spirit.

Oh, God, I can't stand the waiting.

What if Matt didn't do well?

He did fine.

He's a good student.

He studied hard for those SAT exams.

But his whole future depends on those scores.

College, good job

a good life.

The SAT scores, they're here.

I aced the SATs

just like I said I would.

Oh!

The next section of the SAT review test

involves antonyms.

That's opposites.

A little nervous, Mr. Taylor?

'No, sir, one's making'

such a big deal of these SATs.

Like if we blow them, we have to move out on the street

and apply for food stamps.

I mean, it's just a multiple choice test.

It's not life and death.

But it's the closest thing to it in high school.

Some people just can't take the pressure.

I'd like to give Smithers a multiple choice

Forget him. He teaches metal shop.

He probably can't even spell SAT.

You'll do great tomorrow.

Julie, if I don't go back east to college with you

will that make any difference?

Not to me, but it will to you.

What does that mean?

It means don't drive yourself crazy, okay?

This is only a test.

If this were actually an important event

it wouldn't be taking plac at the high school.

You think I'm gonna let this get to me?

Well, it's not my idea, it's everyone else's dumping on me.

Your parents are pretty overheated about this, huh

Yeah, you could say that.

And the funny thing is I'm not sure if I even wanna go.

I thought we'd settled all that.

We go to college, get great jobs

have a two-income family

become the ideal DINK couple.

DINK?

Double Income, No Kids.

You know, I sent out that music demo.

If the record company calls me and offers me a contract

I won't even have time for school.

Well, if you don't make the top 40

you better make a top college.

Which is why I'll be singing

the SAT blues tonight.

Stop worrying.

"Equal amounts of peanuts, cashews and almonds

"are packed separately in bags.

"If three bags, one of each kind

"costs a total of $3

"and two bags of peanuts

"and two bags of cashews costs a total of 3.50

"how much does one bag of almonds cost?"

I hate nuts.

Have some more potatoes, Mr. Giles.

Please, call me Fred.

Roy has been working at the bank for so long

I feel like we're family.

I didn't know you were a banker, Mr. Taylor.

Oh, I'm not.

I, uh, I'm in the cleaning business.

Mr. Giles pushes pencils

I push brooms.

You run a janitorial service, dad.

Yeah, but I never went to college though.

That's why you're gonna be the first one. Right, son?

Huh, depends on the SATs.

Which we all know are going to be sterling.

That's why I've agreed to conduct

your college interview myself.

May I have some more ham, please?

Matt, pass this to Julie, will you?

There are six slices of meat left.

If Julie eats two slices

chewing an average of ten times before swallowing

'and if each chew takes on the average'

'a quarter of a second'

'how long will it take before'

Julie has consumed both pieces?

Matt?

Matt?

I don't know.

Don't know what, dear?

I just asked you to pass the meat to Julie.

Oh, I'm sorry.

'Here.'

I'm looking forward to giving you

a good recommendation, Matt.

'And a good recommendation'

is to success as A..

...dirt is to flowers.

B, cars are to gasoline.

C, calculators are to audits.

Or D, math..

...is to business.

Matt?

Didn't you hear Mr. Giles?

I said what are you going to major in?

Math? Business?

Uh, music I think.

Music?

For a future banker?

No, nickels and dimes in that.

But I like music. It makes me happy.

- Sad.. - Sad?

Happy..

- I think I'm overtired. - Rested.

Why do you keep saying the opposite of everything I say?

You're making me nervous.

- Calm. - Stop.

- Go. - This isn't funny.

- Serious. - Cut that out.

In.

'Matt?'

Matt?

Matt!

Is something wrong?

It's my fault.

I shouldn't be grilling him about college

He still has his SATs

to think about.

Right?

Matt, get us some coffee, will you?

Okay, Matt, it's a math problem.

Now, if the rectangle we form

has a perimeter of 20

and a length of six.

What's our area?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I...I don't know.

It's okay, Matt. It's just a coffee cup.

You alright, son?

Have some pie.

Dessert always perks you up.

The pie looks delicious.

It's divided into triangles.

What's the sum of the angles of those triangles?

You gotta be faster, son.

Your boy has a tendency to choke.

He just needs to study some more.

It's never too late

to cram for an exam.

Hi.

I thought you might need some food.

Oh, you look terrible.

You should get some rest.

Gotta be sharp for that test tomorrow.

- God, I wish this was over. - Oh, it's gonna be okay.

'Alright, everybody, pencils up.'

'Break the seal.'

You look awful.

No sleep.

Ready?

'Begin.'

Good luck.

'Alright, time's up.'

Pencils down.

Leave your tests on the table.

I completely blanked with some of those geometric formulas.

- How 'bout you? - No, I got those okay.

And that vocabulary, I mean..

...some of those words were impossible.

What's the opposite of torpor?

Uh, vivacity.

But who says torpor anyway

You must've aced it.

No, it's hard to tell.

But I feel better than I did three hours ago.

At least it's over.

So all that stuff about skipping college

to become a music bum was just SAT nerves, right?

Yeah, I guess there's no future without an education.

At least that's what everybody says to me.

I guess I pretty much have to go.

Yeah, you do.

Because that's where I'll be and I want us to be together.

So everything boils down to that stupid test.

I gotta run.

Good luck with your college interview.

Another test.

Good GPA.

And you've lettered in three sports. Impressive.

And of course, those SATs

are going to be great, right?

Oh, yeah, they will be.

'Good.'

'Because it's pure magic what good SAT scores'

can do for your life.

They transform you.

They make you into..

...a player.

'Go ahead.'

That could be yours.

You see what good SAT scores can mean?

'You're in control.'

It's your office.

It's for you.

Um, Matt Taylor.

Uh, alright, could you

could you hold on a second?

Someone says I'm foreclosing on their mortgage.

They're begging me for another month.

Ask them how they did on their SATs.

How are your SAT scores?

Lousy, barely cleared 900.

You think people like that are gonna come through?

Not a chance.

Sorry.

Of course, if you blow your SATs..

...all this goes..

'So you see how important your test scores are.'

They mean the difference between the penthouse..

...and the outhouse.

They came. I got my scores.

Ta-da!

I hit a home run. 1520 out of 1600.

Home run? Make that a grand slam.

If I got 1520, you must've gotten a perfect score.

Hey, Julie, let's get movin'!

What's with Tony in the front seat?

Oh, nothing, we're just going to buy

some winter clothes for college.

What's the big deal?

You're the one I'm gonna be studying with

on those cold winter nights, right?

My scores.

He's got my scores.

Oh, God.

Come on. Don't take all day. Open it.

Eight hundred, combined.

I bombed it completely.

W-w-wait, failing a test

does not make me a failure.

Wha.. I'm still the same person.

Dad?

Mom?

This is not the end of my life, I'm still your son.

'God, can you believe we actually spent'

'four years of our lives in this place?'

'It doesn't even have a pool.'

'Thank God for college.'

Hello?

Mr. Smithers?

He probably doesn't even remember us.

He barely remembered us when we were in his class.

Well, I sure remember this place.

The site of the great SATs.

I owe a lot to the SATs.

So where do you suppose everyone is?

Excuse me.

The teachers are all gone for the day.

Matt?

Hey, Matt.

Good to see you finally got a job.

A maintenance engineer, impressive.

No, I-I don't usually do this, my dad's been sick.

I'm just filling in.

Sure, I understand.

Bob, Carol, this is Matt.

He used to be..

Uh, we all went to high school together.

Matt still goes here.

Hey, maybe we can get together sometime, huh, Julie?

I'll, uh, fill you in on all the Springwood gossip.

I can't, um, we're just gonna be in town for a few days.

Maybe next time.

It was nice seeing you.

Oh, God.

'When I approved your loan'

'I assumed you were going to keep up'

'the mortgage payments.'

'But Roy's been sick.'

'Business is business.'

Money was put on this Eart

to be fruitful and multiply.

If your payments are late.

...that can't happen.

Roy has worked for you

for over 20 years.

And he did an excellent job

of keeping those washrooms clean

but that was then..

...and this is now.

Look at him.

Matt will be here any minute with his paycheck.

That should cover the mortgage.

Wait until Matt gets here, please.

Matt may not arrive for hours.

I could be an escrow by then.

No, here he comes, look.

Oh, thank God, you're home.

We're being foreclosed

unless you give Mr. Giles your paycheck.

- Mom, there was an accident. - Just give him the check.

No, I broke an expensive piece of equipment.

Tell me about it later.

'Mom, I've lost the account, I don't have a check.'

Please..

Please, Mr. Giles.

'Just give us a few more days.'

Not a chance.

'Business is business.'

Besides, without the school account there's no way

you can keep up your mortgage.

Roy?

- Roy? - Dad?

- Roy! - 'I'm sorry.'

Roy!

Mom, he's dead.

It's all because of those SATs.

Oh, Roy.

Congratulations!

They just came this morning, honey, we're so proud of you.

Oh, I love you, you genius

Well, what do you know.

'Alright, time's up.'

Leave your SAT tests on the desk.

'You'll be mailed the results in about a month. Good luck.'

Wait, uh, I fell asleep, I have to take this again.

I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about that, Mr. Taylor.

You must've seen me. Why didn't you wake me up?

Look, just take them again next year.

No. No-no-no. Everything's all set.

I mean, my girlfriend's going to college

and Mr. Giles won't recommend me to Harvard.

Now he'll think I'm a flake.

Survival of the fittest, Matt, I warned you.

Just give me a second chance.

I'm afraid it's out of my hands.

Sorry.

You know you're the one who said it was only a test.

I wanted you to relax, not go into a coma.

Don't you care about college?

Maybe I care too much, I let everything get to me

Well, to hell with them. I, I don't want any of it.

You'd rather be a failure.

Failing a test does not make me a failure.

- 'Matt Taylor?' - Yeah, that's me.

Your mother said you'd be here.

Did you send us a demo tape of your music?

Yes, I did.

You have a very big future young man.

A very big future.

Splash Records wants you.

N-now! I mean, now?

Well, unless you have other plans.

No, ma'am.

This way.

Oh.

A mind..

...is a terrible thing to waste.

Mm-mm-mm.