Original subtitles

(male narrator) Rick and Miranda have just eloped.

We'll be free.

(Rick) 'You know, just the two of us.'

They're running away from mom and dad.

You two disgust me.

'Breaking your parents' hearts.'

But will the honeymoon

turn into a living hell?

[screams]

I guess, they just need a..

crash coursein growin' u

On the next "Nightmare On Elm Street.

The Series, Freddy's Nightmares".

[theme music]

[indistinct chatter]

I'll be back! I'm free!

[screaming]

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

Is this where you want to spend

the first night of our honeymoon?

Uh, huh, uh-uh.

Uh... yes, Miranda, you have won a wedding night!

A no expense paid holiday to that

exotic fog and cold capital of the world..

Springwood.

Let's hope there's a phone booth up the road.

This is what I get for buying a Yup mobile.

Should have been able to fix this, I'm good with my hands.

Ooh, very good with your hands.

Umm.

I like that attitude.

That and a tow truck would get us out of this mess.

Come on, why elope unless you're heart for a little adventure.

Besides, when my parents and your old man

figure out that we cut loose from college and got married

they're gonna send out some serious blood hounds.

Yes, but by then we'll be dining out sea food in San Francisco.

That is if we survive Springwood.

[instrumental music]

Bad valves.

[laughing]

It's a shame those nice kids bought a ticket to freedom..

only to have me punch it.

[laughs]

[yawns] Three hours and no phone booth

no passing cars, nothin'.

Maybe we made a mistake.

Yeah, we should have stood back with the car.

No, I meant about leaving home.

Come on.

Uh-uh, my daddy was makin' me mental.

And your folks, Miranda, your folks were always in your face.

That's because they loved us.

Because they didn't want us to grow up.

They didn't think we're ready, there's a big difference.

Come on, get real, Miranda.

I mean, my daddy, he-he picked out my prep school.

He picked out my college, he chose my clothes.

He ch.. The guy chose my friends.

And even when we went fishing, he was always

his rods, his hooks, his bait.

Your dad's not that terrible.

No, he's just an unsung hero trying to bring

fascism back and above.

And my parents were pretty supportive.

Umm, um-hmm.

They just wouldn't let us live together.

"Over our dead bodies!" Remember that?

[coughs]

[dramatic music]

Well, here we are.

The great escape.

Hey..

everything's gonna be okay, you know.

We're gonna live our own lives.

I'm just not as sure as you are.

Then you can go back and you can live in your little

goldfish bowl, I don't care but not me.

Do you want to run away from me too?

No, I just..

Sorry.

Sorry.

Umm, I'll always love you, Rick.

From here to heaven.

[instrumental music]

Why didn't we see it before?

Who cares, we're saved!

[car engine revving]

Rick, what's that noise?

[Miranda screams]

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, Rick.

Rick... aah!

[weeping]

[instrumental music]

[car engine revving]

Please, help us.

You got a problem, young lady?

We need a lift to Springwood.

We have to get to a hospital.

I got hit crossin' the road.

Oh, you're lucky, son, could have been a lot worse.

(female #1) 'We'd be happy to help you kids out.'

But first, you call your parents.

Uh, I think I can skip that part.

George and I have 23 grandkids.

We know what it's like to worry.

Call them.

Umm, well, actually, folks..

Miranda and I have just eloped

and our parents don't really know about that right now

'so I don't think that's such a good idea.'

Well, I'm sure you understand.

I mean, who wants to be a big fish in a small pond, right?

You two disgust me.

(George) 'Ungrateful, selfish.'

Breaking your parents' hearts.

- What are you doing? - Ain't it obvious?

Your wallet, sonny.

Give it over.

That's all our money.

[grunts]

Your parents spent 18 year

paying for your food

'your clothing, your education.'

This is your last

free ride.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

What do we do now?

Pray the phone calls are still only a quarter.

[engine revving]

[indistinct chatter over radio]

[rapping on the phone booth]

Hey, you guys the ones that need some help?

Oh, yeah.

And you must be Buzz.

Need a tow, got a car that sucks?

I'll save your ass for 200 bucks.

We're a little short on cash.

Short on cash, 'cause life is hard.

Will even take daddy's credit card.

You know, you two have the worst credit

in the history of this planet.

There is no way our parents

could have cut us off so quickly.

Sorry.

They won't even know we've eloped until tomorrow.

Sometimes, parents just know.

We are screwed. No credit, no money.

No car.

We have to call them.

- Right, we'll beg. - No.

- We'll-we'll reason with them. - No.

- We'll get angry. - Umm, better.

We'll make them feel ashamed for cutting us off.

That's it. That's the ticket.

(female over recording) 'Hello, if this is Miranda, we miss you honey.'

'But that didn't stop us from'

'burning every thing you left behind.'

'Daddy even cut your face out of all the family photographs.'

'Oh, and we also rented out your room.'

'Uh, hey-hey, freedom is just another word'

'for nothing left to lose, Miranda. Ha ha ha.'

I'm calling dad.

(male over recording) 'I tried to teach you, Rick.'

'Life is like fishin'.'

'You gotta be patient.'

'You won't catch the big one by runnin' away.'

'I'm sorry, because now the real world is going to bury you.'

Dad! Come on, Dad.

Dad!

Rick.

Let's get out of here!

[Miranda screams]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[intense music]

[intense music]

[door opens]

This is my brother's motor lodge.

Let's hope he has a vacancy.

[bell dings]

Todd, are you there?

Land of the bizarre.

Well, it's not so bad.

Considering we look like..

poster children for the American Dirt society.

Welcome..

to the Route 66

motor lodge.

Where life is a little..

fishy.

[screams]

[laughs]

I'm Todd.

Buzz's brother.

Now, don't worry.

'I know you're broke..'

'...desperate..'

two lost souls on the highway of life.

Let me just explain we...

But every week, Buzz and I go out on the road..

lookin' for someone just like you.

'We get involved in your life.'

We solve your problems.

We make..

a difference.

That sounds great.

That, my friends..

is the philosophy of the Route 66..

motor lodge.

- Right, Buzz? - Right, Todd.

The Honeymoon Suite.

On the house.

Room for one more.

Eh.

Fishy.

Very fishy.

Can you believe this place

[chuckles]

I know.

It's so bad it's good.

(Miranda) 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

Well..

I've decided not to think about tomorrow until tomorrow.

It's Jacuzzi time.

You know, these pillows..

are a little heavy on the lumps.

[gasps]

Hey, there's some kinda snakes in our bed.

Striped corals.

They're friendly if you leave them alone.

I don't mean to cause trouble here, but we're talkin' gross.

Whoa!

You're a grown-up.

You gotta learn to make your own bed.

Yes.

[coughs]

Oh, yeah. Don't anybody use that Jacuzzi.

That's were I keep my..

piranha fish.

[chuckles]

(Rick) 'No! Miranda!'

If the real world doesn't stick it to you..

it'll probably eat just you alive.

[grunts]

Miranda!

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

[moans]

Rick!

Rick!

[groans]

Are you okay?

Where's the Jacuzzi?

What Jacuzzi?

There's a sauna down the hall, but..

Why, don't you remember?

The, the piranhas, the sinking phone booth..

Uh, getting robbed by that old couple.

[chuckles]

I'm sure glad I didn't have your dreams.

Wait.

What happened last night?

Are you serious?

Hmm, yeah.

Our car broke down.

We called a tow and they brought us here.

And you ordered champagne.

and we celebrated our elopement.

Sounds great.

But..

there is one piece of bad news.

Something you're not gonna like.

Alright. As long as it doesn't involve fish.

Last night I did some thinking and I've had a change of heart.

I wanna go back home.

You're kidding me, right?

Running away is not the answer.

'We'll get a place near our parents'.'

'We'll earn our independence.'

Yeah, but what about California, huh?

What about livin' life on the beach?

Livin' in the fun lane?

Pipe dreams.

Miranda..

we'll be free.

You know, just the two of us..

livin' our own lives, remember?

Rick, I love you.

'But let's grow up one day at a time.'

I don't feel like diving off the deep end anymore.

Find out how our car is doing.

I'll be in the sauna.

(male on phone) 'Deutschland Auto House.'

'If you want your car zhis morning, forget it.'

'We're tired of servicing zhe upwardly mobile.'

'Fix it yourself.'

(Miranda) 'Rick, come here quick.'

Miranda!

(Rick) Miranda?

The lock's broke and it's way too hot in here.

Help me.

Hold on, baby. I'm goin' for help.

I'm frying in here. Hurry.

Help me!

Somebody!

(Miranda) 'Please, hurry! Help me!'

[glass shatters]

No. Drop the weapon, tuna breath.

Great. You can help me. Come on. Sauna door's broken.

(male #1) 'I said drop it.'

Or do you feel lucky today.

[indistinct yelling]

She'll melt in there.

Up against the wall, whale butt.

No!

She'll die! Let me go!

And you have the right to remain silent.

So shut up.

[grunts]

We're taking you to the station, fish bait.

(Miranda) 'Somebody, please, help me.'

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[siren blaring]

[instrumental music]

(male #2) 'Son, I'm just warning ya.'

'You save those stories.'

'We've had just about enough of your mouth.'

(Rick) 'Please!'

She'll fry! Don't you hear me?

Hey, hold it down back there.

[Rick screams]

Yeah, you tell it to the...

Hey!

[siren blaring]

[grunts]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[tires screeching]

[explosion]

Miranda! Oh, you got out. You're okay.

I fixed the lock.

What happened to you?

I'm in real trouble, Miranda.

I killed two cops.

- It's not funny. - I'm not joking.

Uh, there was a.. There was an accident.

But they're, they're gonna blame me.

But you were only gone twenty minutes.

Just come on. There's time to get out of town, fast.

You can't run from this.

I can run from anything.

Let's just go to California. We'll change our names.

You're crazy. You've gotta give yourself up

and explain what happened.

Miranda, please. Come with me.

I love you.

- Where's the car? Come on. - It's not fixed yet.

Then we gotta run. Come on

[instrumental music]

Talk to me.

- Say something at least. - Run!

Tell me how we're gonna get outta here...

Just run!

Can't we just think of anything but..

Run! Run! Run!

I can't!

[train horn blaring]

Then we'll ride.

In that.

Why did we really leave home, Rick?

We were born to ride.

Maybe we were scared.

Of what?

Scared of growing old.

Scared of growing up.

Scared we weren't special.

Shh.

[instrumental music]

Scared of just plain stopping, you know?

Looking the real world in the eye.

I don't know how, Miranda.

Try.

I have tried.

Well, I'm going to stop.

Let me out.

You love me.

(Miranda) 'Sure, I love you.'

But running is a cop out.

It's a cheat.

It's a lie.

I'm gonna stand my ground. I wanna face my fears.

- Let me out. - No!

I love you.

Then stop running.

I can't!

You can!

I can't! I can't! I can't!

(Miranda) 'Do it, Rick. Do it!'

Stop running before you kill yourself.

[screams]

[screams]

[tires screeching]

[intense music]

Recognize 'em?

Please, don't die, Rick.

Please, don't die.

Help us, for God's sakes!

[sobbing]

[instrumental music]

[growls]

[chuckles]

I guess they just needed a..

crash coursein growin' u

Cute little birds, aren't they?

[hysterical laugh]

Dinner is served.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[dramatic music]

(Freddy) 'Cuckoo!'

'Cuckoo!'

'Real Cuckoo!'

'Ha ha ha!'

[siren wailing]

[instrumental music]

[telephone rings]

Mr. Shore's ready to see you.

And that's about this job.

I never thought I'd find such a hot place to work in Springwood.

Glad you decided to stick around.

How's that guy of yours doing?

Much better. He's fully recovered.

Guess what?

He's the one who wanted to settle down here.

I'm so proud of him.

No more of running, we're gonna put down roots

Smart move, Miranda.

You got a future here at Springwood Records.

You're talented, you're intelligent.

You put five years into this company

and you're gonna be racing in the fast track.

- I'll work like a dog. - You're gonna have to.

But it'll be worth it.

You're gonna be someone, Miranda.

All you need is a 100 percent dedication.

[sniffles]

- That reminds me. - Of what?

Nothing.

Miranda, I'm not just your boss

I'm also your friend.

It's just that I'm a little late this month, you know.

You're not trying to get pregnant, are you?

Oh, I'd like to have babies someday

like, in the year 3006.

Good.

Because motherhood and your job

are definitely incompatible.

[horn blaring]

[children giggling]

[indistinct chatter]

[dramatic music]

[laughs]

Miranda just bought herself a front-row ticket

to the American dream..

of her favorite scalper.

[laughs]

[clock ticking]

Hey..

if you're pregnant..

we'll cope.

It's not gun-to-the-head time.

Not for you, maybe.

You're the one who wanted us to stop running.

A baby, a baby might be great.

Look, if I turn out pregnant

my boss is gonna pitch me out the door.

Ah!

You really love that job, don't you, huh?

I love my life.

I'm not ready to chain myself to a baby.

Not even for me?

Cheap shot.

Hey, come here. Come here.

[instrumental music]

I'll help you.

We'll be partners.

I can... change the diapers

I'll give it a bath.

What about giving birth to it?

What about breastfeeding it?

What about quitting your job to raise it?

Rick, I love kids, I really do, I just don't want them now.

Alright, alright, alright.

Talk about it tomorrow.

Hey, if we have a kid, your life is gonna be tougher.

I can handle it.

My life is gonna be ruined

[sighs]

I just don't think it'll be that bad.

Really.

Oh.

[music continues]

I can't believe this is happening.

Hey, I'm gonna be there for you

through the whole thing

pregnancy, birth, childcare.

I'm pregnant. I'm really pregnant.

Look, do not worry.

We'll split the work load 50-50

I will not be like other men

I will not flake out on you.

Rick, you don't have to promise.

Just hold me.

Hey, it's big easy, Miranda.

Parenthood's gonna be a breeze.

(Maggie on phone) 'You have been cooped up in that house too long.'

'Why don't we all go out? Have dinner? See a movie?'

'Come on, you're acting like your life is over.'

Rick's out again.

He says he's working late.

Secretary, isn't that cute.

At least she doesn't look like Shamu the whale's big sister.

(Maggie on phone) 'Miranda, you don't look bad.'

'You need to go out.'

I'm too fat to have fun.

(Maggie on phone) 'Let's go dancing.'

'It'll do you a lot of good.'

Oh, Maggie, I can't go dancing.

I just don't have anything that fits.

[grunts]

[exhales]

[instrumental music]

[sniffles]

Oh, Miranda, I tried to call you.

What's going on?

Who is she?

Like I said, "Motherhood and your job are incompatible."

You've given her my job?

The law requires that I offer you maternity leave.

It'll never be the same, you'll put her on the fast track.

You're the one that chose to skid off that track, Miranda.

You're the one that chose

to kiss your hopes and dreams goodbye.

Have a nice childbirth.

[instrumental music]

Surprise.

[dramatic music]

[baby cries]

What?

What's happening?

Would you, please, check on little Janey?

I'm late for work.

[crying continues]

It's 3:00 a.m.

I know it's 3:00 a.m. Thank you.

This moonlighting is hell

but, since I'm the bread-winner around here..

[sighs] Can't you?

Look, I know it's a real drag

traditional sex roles and all.

But for now, you get to play mommy.

I get to be Mr. Home Security.

Don't go, Rick.

Have to.

Come back to bed.

Make love to me.

We both know sex is impossible.

'Who's got the time?'

'Who has got the energy?'

But I need you.

Look, I think we can forget about making love

till Janey is at least three.

I'll see you when I get back.

Rick... don't leave me.

Wait. I'm trapped!

I don't wanna be here!

Aah!

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[Miranda whimpering]

What happened? Shh! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Shh!

It's okay. It's okay.

It's just a dream.

Hey, shh! It's okay.

It's just a dream.

I'm going to buy one of those home pregnancy tests today.

'I've got to know.'

Well, how do you feel about it, any different?

I'm still scared.

But at least now I know what I'm scared of.

Well, that's good.

I mean I'm 18 years old, I can handle this.

Even if pregnancy is a drag.

Even if I have to postpone a career.

Even if you go all traditional male on me.

The important thing is to remember..

that I can do it.

I just have to believe in myself.

You can, Miranda.

You're tough.

You're gonna buy me a station wagon?

[chuckles] What?

No, I promise.

No second job?

Mm-mm. Swear.

Always a sex drive.

That'll be the day. Come here.

I'm going to take the test in the morning.

Whatever comes, I'll be ready.

[sighs]

Fifteen minutes.

Start the countdown.

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

[clock handswhirring]

[dramatic music]

Miranda Austin.

You're coming with us.

'Straighten up.'

'Face forward.'

Look, this is a mistake.

Get back in line.

Now, doctor, take your time.

That's her.

'That's the one.'

(female #1) 'Are you sure?'

What did I do?

Yeah. That's her, alright.

She's the one that thought

she was ready to have a child.

We don't believe you, Miranda.

It's not like I planned it. It was an accident.

I've always been careful, I swear.

Not careful enough.

This time you made a big mistake.

Prove it.

Oh, we'll give you proof.

Come on, Miranda, you're 18

you really think you'd be a good mother?

I'll give it my best shot.

Motherhood takes commitment.

Motherhood takes guts.

I don't think you have what it takes.

What do you know?

Listen I got straight As in high school.

[laughing]

You're selfish, Miranda.

And you are out of your league.

Look..

what is the big deal?

Motherhood can be dull. A rut, a grime..

You look more like a party girl to me.

That's enough!

Motherhood is the most thankless job in America.

Pain, frustration, worry.

Flakes like you make me sick, Miranda.

You don't deserve to be a mother.

[sobbing]

Fasten your seat belt, kid

You're about to pay the price.

No!

[door squeaking]

[screaming]

[babies crying]

I'm tired. I'm fed up.

I can't take this anymore.

This is torture.

Gee whiz, look who's tired.

Aren't you enjoying our postpartum

sleep deprivation camp for unprepared mother.

You're cruel.

You're sick!

Just think, no sleep for days.

For weeks.

[laughing] For years.

Oh, I can't take this!

Oh!

[babies crying]

Well, you can forget about friends, Miranda.

You won't have time to call them.

In fact, you won't have time for fun.

Any fun.

(Miranda) 'Stop it!'

Oh, come on, you're a mother now.

Please, stop.

[machine whirring]

[groaning]

What's your name?

Well, I'm not sleeping beauty.

Don't play games with me, what's your name?

[sighs] Miranda Austin.

Wrong!

I am.

I'm Miranda Austin!

Not anymore.

You're little Janey's mommy.

You're Mrs. Austin.

PTA mom, den mother, America's favorite homemaker..

Now, stop it!

You've given birth to your own replacement.

Might as well put a gun to your head.

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[intense music]

Janey?

Is little Janey-Waney finally sleepy-weepy?

You know you're mommy's pride and joy.

[sighs]

And the only reason

mommy's able to live through this nightmare.

[door closes]

[dramatic music]

I don't remember buying that.

Hey! Who's there?

Who's there? Who are you?

[screaming]

Janey, we gotta get out of here.

[instrumental music]

Where's my baby?

[screaming]

[gasps]

[screaming]

(Rick) 'Miranda?'

Thank God. Rick, help me.

That's why we're here.

We heard you couldn't sleep, little girl.

So we thought we'd sing you a lullaby.

Hit it, gang.

[buzzer rings]

♪ Rock-a-bye baby ♪

♪ You're in great distress ♪

♪ A mother and into ♪

♪ Your life is a mess ♪

♪ Exhaustion and boredom ♪

♪ No sleep and no fun ♪

♪ Your life is now over ♪

♪ There's nowhere to run ♪♪

[rustling]

[screaming]

[clock dinging]

The test..

[screaming]

Rick! Rick! I took a test, I'm not pregnant.

Then come home. We'll celebrate.

I love you.

[screaming]

I got a chance a new life.

Oh.

So much for my biological clock.

[dramatic music]

[birds chirping]

You better brace yourself.

[sighs]

How could this happen?

Her brain scans show all sorts of anomalies.

- But this.. - Let me be straight with you.

I think it's some sort of psychological component

[instrumental music]

So, what are you telling me, doctor?

It's not the hit on the head? That she's gone crazy, what?

I'm not so sure.

Right now I think she may be a child

for the rest of the life.

[instrumental music]

Aww..

She took a lickin'.

But she kept on tickin'.

Cuckoo.

[laughing]

Cuckoo.

Cuckoo.

[theme music]

[music continues]