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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000 [MUSIC] 2 00:00:10,001 --> 00:00:20,000 [MUSIC] 3 00:00:20,001 --> 00:00:30,000 [MUSIC]. 4 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:55,000 [MUSIC]. 5 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:20,000 [MUSIC] 6 00:01:20,001 --> 00:01:37,000 >> That's it, that's it, good, yes, wait, wait, a little quicker, okay, yes. 7 00:01:37,001 --> 00:01:43,000 Yes, that's it, a little quicker, a little quicker, God, good boy, okay, 8 00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:46,000 a little bit to this side, yes, that's it. 9 00:01:46,001 --> 00:01:49,000 >> My God, yes. 10 00:01:49,001 --> 00:01:51,000 >> What, already? 11 00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:55,000 >> No, no, not that, I just thought of a great idea for a book. 12 00:01:55,001 --> 00:01:58,000 I'm sorry, Amanda, I'm sorry, I just have to write this down, okay, I'll be 13 00:01:58,001 --> 00:01:59,000 right back. 14 00:01:59,001 --> 00:02:01,000 >> Don't leave me. 15 00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:05,000 >> I just have to, yes. 16 00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:14,000 >> Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 17 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:23,000 >> It, God, I'm great, yes, God, hallelujah, God. 18 00:02:23,001 --> 00:02:26,000 >> That's okay, you just go ahead and finish without me. 19 00:02:26,001 --> 00:02:29,000 >> Thank you for coming. 20 00:02:29,001 --> 00:02:36,000 [MUSIC] 21 00:02:36,001 --> 00:02:38,000 >> This is great, this is gonna be so great. 22 00:02:38,001 --> 00:02:41,000 [MUSIC] 23 00:02:41,001 --> 00:02:42,000 Perfect. 24 00:02:42,001 --> 00:02:44,000 [MUSIC] 25 00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:47,000 Okay, okay, everything's gotta be fine. 26 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:52,000 Okay, give me a sense here, I'm at my desk. 27 00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:56,000 >> You know my ex-brother-in-law used to talk to himself, they ended up 28 00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,000 putting electricity in his head. 29 00:02:57,001 --> 00:02:59,000 Now he does his great trick with kitchen magnets. 30 00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:01,000 >> Yeah, Toby, did you come in here for anything useful? 31 00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:04,000 >> Gibby's office called, the furor's on his way down. 32 00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:09,000 >> Okay, okay, look, when he gets here, I don't want any interruptions, hold 33 00:03:09,001 --> 00:03:10,000 all my calls. 34 00:03:10,001 --> 00:03:12,000 And try to keep it down out there, will you? 35 00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:15,000 >> Oh, so I should cancel the mariachis? 36 00:03:15,001 --> 00:03:17,000 >> Don't even start with me today. 37 00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:20,000 >> Would you please relax, it's just a book. 38 00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:22,000 >> That's a low thing to say. 39 00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:25,000 >> It's not just a book, it's my book. 40 00:03:25,001 --> 00:03:27,000 >> Still, he'll probably hate it anyway. 41 00:03:27,001 --> 00:03:28,000 >> What? 42 00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:29,000 >> Morning, Marty. 43 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,911 >> A bit of a sweat on your brow, you 44 00:03:30,923 --> 00:03:33,000 do have menue anything naughty, I trust. 45 00:03:33,001 --> 00:03:35,000 >> You know you're a pig. 46 00:03:35,001 --> 00:03:36,000 >> Morning, Gibby. 47 00:03:36,001 --> 00:03:37,489 >> Toby, my little office gnome, I don't 48 00:03:37,501 --> 00:03:39,000 seem to have a cup of coffee in my hand. 49 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:41,000 I trust you will rectify that situation at once. 50 00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:44,000 >> Absolutely. 51 00:03:44,001 --> 00:03:45,000 >> Please. 52 00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:47,000 >> Maybe he'll get one, maybe he won't. 53 00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:49,000 Life's full of mystery. 54 00:03:49,001 --> 00:03:50,000 >> Gibby, have a seat. 55 00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:52,000 >> Yeah, all right. 56 00:03:52,001 --> 00:03:58,000 >> Wherever you like. 57 00:03:58,001 --> 00:04:02,000 >> What colorful dime store muck do you have for me this morning? 58 00:04:02,001 --> 00:04:06,000 >> Well, it's a novel. 59 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:07,000 >> A novel? 60 00:04:07,001 --> 00:04:08,000 About a prostitute perhaps? 61 00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:12,000 Perhaps a prostitute with a trick lag and an ugly secret? 62 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,000 >> No. 63 00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:16,000 Although that does sound interesting. 64 00:04:16,001 --> 00:04:19,000 No, this is a thriller, but it's more than just a thriller. 65 00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:21,000 It's really a journey into the soul. 66 00:04:21,001 --> 00:04:26,000 It's about one man's search for the perfect blowjob. 67 00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:27,000 >> Blowjobs? 68 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:29,000 Like that. 69 00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:30,000 Who's the author? 70 00:04:30,001 --> 00:04:31,000 >> I am. 71 00:04:31,001 --> 00:04:32,000 >> You wrote it? 72 00:04:32,001 --> 00:04:33,000 >> I will. 73 00:04:33,001 --> 00:04:35,000 I mean, it's just an outline right now. 74 00:04:35,001 --> 00:04:37,000 >> Marty, I had no idea you dabbled. 75 00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:39,000 >> Well, I more than dabble actually. 76 00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:45,000 I always hoped that -- well, ever since I was a young boy, I had this dream 77 00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:47,000 that one day I'd go up to a bookstore window. 78 00:04:47,001 --> 00:04:49,000 >> Yeah, yeah, hopes and dreams, very nice. 79 00:04:49,001 --> 00:04:50,000 Let's hear the story. 80 00:04:50,001 --> 00:04:51,000 >> Okay. 81 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:53,000 Okay. 82 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:56,000 It begins in a cave in North Carolina. 83 00:04:56,001 --> 00:05:00,000 Detective Jackson O. Henry is searching in a remote cavern when he comes 84 00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:06,000 upon 12 bodies, each with a child's building block in his left hand. 85 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,000 Just that. 86 00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:09,000 [ Buzzer ] 87 00:05:09,001 --> 00:05:11,000 Toby, I told you to hold my calls. 88 00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:12,000 >> I am. 89 00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:13,000 This one's for the other guy. 90 00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:14,000 It's his lawyer. 91 00:05:14,001 --> 00:05:17,000 >> All right, Douglas, what's up? 92 00:05:17,001 --> 00:05:19,000 No, keep going, Mount Ambly's. 93 00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:20,000 >> Okay, okay. 94 00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:24,000 Just then, Detective O. Henry notices a painting next to the bodies. 95 00:05:24,001 --> 00:05:25,000 >> What are you talking about? 96 00:05:25,001 --> 00:05:26,000 I gave that woman $10,000. 97 00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:27,989 >> It's the portrait of a naked woman with 98 00:05:28,001 --> 00:05:30,000 haunting eyes, eyes that he's seen before. 99 00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:32,000 >> We had a deal. 100 00:05:32,001 --> 00:05:33,000 No, I'm with you, Marty. 101 00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:34,000 Keep going. 102 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,000 >> Okay. 103 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:38,000 Um, there are the eyes of -- >> Bullshit! 104 00:05:38,001 --> 00:05:42,000 I don't give a ding-o-s-ass if she is in love with somebody else. 105 00:05:42,001 --> 00:05:43,000 Damn it, Douglas. 106 00:05:43,001 --> 00:05:44,000 They're going to deport me. 107 00:05:44,001 --> 00:05:45,000 It's just a green card. 108 00:05:45,001 --> 00:05:47,000 Now, can't we pay somebody off? 109 00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:48,000 This is America. 110 00:05:48,001 --> 00:05:49,000 Fuck! 111 00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:50,000 Fuck! 112 00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,000 Fuck! 113 00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:52,000 Fuck! 114 00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:53,000 Fuck! 115 00:05:53,001 --> 00:05:54,000 Fuck! 116 00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:55,000 Something wrong? 117 00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:58,000 Yeah, I got the INS spinning down my throat. 118 00:05:58,001 --> 00:05:59,000 They want to send me back. 119 00:05:59,001 --> 00:06:01,000 Well, I won't go. 120 00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:02,000 I won't. 121 00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:03,000 I hate that place. 122 00:06:03,001 --> 00:06:05,000 G'day, g'day, g'day. 123 00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:09,000 Koala beer smelling like cough drops, kangaroo shit everywhere. 124 00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:10,000 They never show you that in a fucking commercial. 125 00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:11,000 Do you notice? 126 00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:13,000 No, no, I don't suppose they do. 127 00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:15,000 Anyway, getting back to my book. 128 00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:18,000 I am sitting in a barrel of shit with a funny hat on, Marty. 129 00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:19,000 Now, you've got to help me. 130 00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:20,000 I need to find a woman. 131 00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:21,000 Now, come on, Marty. 132 00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:22,000 You know lots of women. 133 00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:23,000 Where am I going to find a woman? 134 00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:26,000 I'm sorry. 135 00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:28,000 I just can't think of anybody off the top of my head. 136 00:06:28,001 --> 00:06:29,000 Fuck! 137 00:06:29,001 --> 00:06:30,000 Here's your coffee. 138 00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:33,000 We were all out of milk, so I threw in some cream. 139 00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:34,000 Cheese. 140 00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:41,000 Oh, no. 141 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,000 No, no, no, no, no, no. 142 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,000 Why not? 143 00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:45,000 Toby hasn't got anyone in her life, does she? 144 00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:47,000 She's sort of a lonely, pathetic creature. 145 00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:48,000 Gibbets, no. 146 00:06:48,001 --> 00:06:49,000 What? 147 00:06:49,001 --> 00:06:50,000 It's not like I'm not going to pay her. 148 00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:52,000 I can tell you right now, she won't do it. 149 00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:53,000 Why not? 150 00:06:53,001 --> 00:06:56,000 Well, she hates you. 151 00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:57,000 Really? 152 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:59,000 You know, there's a lot of people who do. 153 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:00,000 Go figure. 154 00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:01,000 Well, that's perfect. 155 00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:03,000 There's no danger of romantic entanglements. 156 00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:05,000 Set it up for me, Marty, won't you? 157 00:07:05,001 --> 00:07:06,000 Forget it. 158 00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:07,000 I am not getting involved in this. 159 00:07:07,001 --> 00:07:09,000 If you want to ask her, then you can do it. 160 00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:10,000 But the woman hates me. 161 00:07:10,001 --> 00:07:11,000 You tell me so yourself. 162 00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:13,000 Set up a meeting, Marty. 163 00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:16,000 Gibby. 164 00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:20,000 And if she marries me, I'll, uh, I'll publish you a little cave book. 165 00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:24,000 Do you think I can listen to this insane plan to destroy two lives and do 166 00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:25,000 nothing about it? 167 00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:26,000 Consider it done. 168 00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:35,000 Toby, it wouldn't be a real marriage. 169 00:07:35,001 --> 00:07:38,000 It would just be a legal thing, you know, like, like, like getting your 170 00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:38,000 driver's license. 171 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,000 As romantic as that sounds, I could think of a few things I'd rather do, 172 00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:46,000 like stub my toe over and over again. 173 00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:47,000 Okay. 174 00:07:47,001 --> 00:07:49,000 Okay, now I'm gonna level with you here. 175 00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:52,000 If you do this, I'll get my book published. 176 00:07:52,001 --> 00:07:56,000 Never mind. 177 00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:58,000 Just the thought. 178 00:07:58,001 --> 00:08:04,000 You sure you haven't left out anything? 179 00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:07,000 You know, you did mention money. 180 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,000 Excuse me. 181 00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:12,000 You think I'd marry a guy for money? 182 00:08:12,001 --> 00:08:17,000 How much money? 183 00:08:17,001 --> 00:08:26,000 Thank you, Count Moore. 184 00:08:26,001 --> 00:08:29,000 Trust me, I'm gonna take out too much money. 185 00:08:29,001 --> 00:08:32,000 Ah, before we get started, you want to take some tea, right? 186 00:08:32,001 --> 00:08:33,000 It's frost. 187 00:08:33,001 --> 00:08:34,000 Sure. 188 00:08:34,001 --> 00:08:36,000 I've got a sandwich and a frost. 189 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:42,000 All right, Toby, I'm going to write down a number and pass it to you. 190 00:08:42,001 --> 00:08:50,000 Okay, Mr. Fisk, I'm going to write down a phrase and pass it to you. 191 00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:57,000 All right, let's cut through the crap, then, Toby. How much do you want? 192 00:08:57,001 --> 00:08:58,000 I'm thinking 30,000. 193 00:08:58,001 --> 00:08:59,000 Dollars? 194 00:08:59,001 --> 00:09:01,000 No pesos. Who do I look like, Charo? 195 00:09:01,001 --> 00:09:02,000 I'll give you five. 196 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:04,000 I spit on five. I get 20. 197 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:07,000 30,000 is completely unranked. I'll give you six. 198 00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:08,000 Five rings. 199 00:09:08,001 --> 00:09:12,000 Seven. I buy an awful lot of white out for $7,000. 200 00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:16,000 I can get twice as much for 15 and get change back. 201 00:09:16,001 --> 00:09:22,000 Oh, Mr. Tupper, is something wrong? 202 00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:23,000 Shh. 203 00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:27,000 Terabytes. 204 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,000 For two years of marriage, followed by a welcome divorce, 205 00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:36,000 I will give you $10,000. Not a penny more. 206 00:09:36,001 --> 00:09:38,000 For $10,000, I'll do your laundry. 207 00:09:38,001 --> 00:09:40,000 You want to marry me? That'll cost you 15. 208 00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:42,000 The offer on the table is $10,000. 209 00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:45,000 Maybe you got wax in your ears. I said 15. 210 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,000 I heard you, and I said 10. 211 00:09:47,001 --> 00:09:50,000 Have a nice flight. If you need anything, don't call. Good day. 212 00:09:50,001 --> 00:09:56,000 It needs watering. 213 00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:57,001 It's plastic. 214 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,000 Come on, Toby. Come on. Tell me what I want to hear. 215 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,000 Your book's dead. Enjoy your lunch. 216 00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:12,000 Haven't they deported you yet? Mate. 217 00:10:12,001 --> 00:10:16,000 $12,500. That's my final offer. 218 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:18,000 Your final offer smells like cheese. 219 00:10:18,001 --> 00:10:23,000 So maybe cheese smells good every now and then. 220 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,000 All right. But no funny stuff. 221 00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:32,000 You don't live with me, you don't touch me, you get one kiss right here. 222 00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:34,000 Cettle. It's a done deal. 223 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:39,000 Not so fast. I want the money up front in cash before I walk down the aisle. 224 00:10:39,001 --> 00:10:41,000 What aisle? We're going to City Hall. 225 00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:43,000 Like hell we are. What kind of girl you take me for? 226 00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:46,000 You give me a proper wedding, and the deal is off. 227 00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:47,000 Bloody hell. 228 00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:49,000 All right. 229 00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:52,000 You're lucky I didn't make you get down on one knee. 230 00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:54,000 Toby, I'll be in Finnebacher's office. 231 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,000 [door opens] 232 00:10:56,001 --> 00:11:00,000 Well? 233 00:11:00,001 --> 00:11:02,000 I'm having a wedding. 234 00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:05,000 I'm having a book. 235 00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:11,000 Detective O. Henry eased his way to the cold, dank, mysterious cave. 236 00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:13,000 He stopped, sensing danger. 237 00:11:13,001 --> 00:11:18,000 There, through the darkness, he saw a... Baked ham. 238 00:11:18,001 --> 00:11:19,000 A coffin. 239 00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:21,000 He moved closer. 240 00:11:21,001 --> 00:11:24,000 His heart beating through his jacket like a... Baked ham. 241 00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:26,000 Like a bass drum. Again he froze. 242 00:11:26,001 --> 00:11:28,647 There, through the eerie haze of darkness, 243 00:11:28,659 --> 00:11:31,000 he could hear the unmistakable words. 244 00:11:31,001 --> 00:11:32,000 Hello, pretty boy. 245 00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:37,000 Martin Tupper. 246 00:11:37,001 --> 00:11:40,000 No? No, she's not. 247 00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:42,000 Yeah, no, go ahead. 248 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:44,000 Chrysanthemums, yes. 249 00:11:44,001 --> 00:11:47,000 Flown in from Florida. 250 00:11:47,001 --> 00:11:49,000 Saturday, fine. 251 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:56,000 Detective O. Henry was... Martin Tupper! 252 00:11:56,001 --> 00:11:58,000 Chop liver? 253 00:11:58,001 --> 00:12:01,000 Well, I... I don't know, I don't know. 254 00:12:01,001 --> 00:12:03,000 What are her choices? 255 00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:05,000 Yes. 256 00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:06,000 Yes, what? 257 00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:08,000 I'll have her call you back, thank you. 258 00:12:08,001 --> 00:12:13,000 Detective O. Henry... 259 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:21,000 Detective O. Henry... Detective O. Henry. 260 00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,000 Any calls? 261 00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:23,000 Almost a hundred thousand. 262 00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:24,000 Oh, just a few. 263 00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:26,000 Where have you been? 264 00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:27,000 At the dressmakers, I told you. 265 00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:29,000 No, no, no. No, you didn't. 266 00:12:29,001 --> 00:12:30,000 I told someone. 267 00:12:30,001 --> 00:12:32,000 Flowers on Saturday? That's no good. 268 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,000 Call them back, tell them I need them on Friday. 269 00:12:34,001 --> 00:12:35,000 Toby? 270 00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:37,000 What's this say? 271 00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:39,000 It's the top liver sculpture. 272 00:12:39,001 --> 00:12:41,000 Do you want it to look like an angel or a swan? 273 00:12:41,001 --> 00:12:43,000 This word is swan? I thought it was Guam. 274 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,000 I'm thinking, what the hell is a chapel of a Guam? 275 00:12:46,001 --> 00:12:48,000 Yeah, well, if you're done critiquing my penmanship... 276 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:51,000 Do you think you can make me six copies of the Rhin-Art contracts? 277 00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:53,000 No, they do have to go out today. 278 00:12:53,001 --> 00:12:54,000 Oh, geez, could you do that? 279 00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:56,000 'Cause I gotta go over the set list with the band. 280 00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:57,000 No, I couldn't. It's your job. 281 00:12:57,001 --> 00:12:59,000 Hey, hey, hey. 282 00:12:59,001 --> 00:13:02,000 I don't think that tone is appropriate for the boss's intended. 283 00:13:02,001 --> 00:13:12,000 Detective O. Henry. 284 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,000 The heavy lid of the coffin. 285 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,000 Hey, Martin, you're a writer. 286 00:13:16,001 --> 00:13:18,000 What should the matchbooks say? 287 00:13:18,001 --> 00:13:20,000 Toby and Gibby or Gibby and Toby? 288 00:13:20,001 --> 00:13:22,000 Personally, I think it should say Toby's wedding. 289 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:23,000 What do you think? 290 00:13:23,001 --> 00:13:24,000 What do I think? 291 00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:26,000 I don't care if they say closed cover before striking. 292 00:13:26,001 --> 00:13:27,000 Oh, here's the groom. 293 00:13:27,001 --> 00:13:30,000 We gotta pick out the China pattern for the registry today. 294 00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:31,000 Not now, Toby. 295 00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:33,000 Gibby and I have to go over the first few chapters of my book. 296 00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:34,000 A registry? 297 00:13:34,001 --> 00:13:35,000 For the gifts. 298 00:13:35,001 --> 00:13:36,000 I'm not getting any gifts. 299 00:13:36,001 --> 00:13:38,000 What kind of wedding don't you get gifts? 300 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:39,000 Don't worry, you'll get half. 301 00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:42,000 Gibby, I'm really excited about my first chapter. 302 00:13:42,001 --> 00:13:45,000 Marty, what am I gonna do about it? 303 00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:47,000 It's called a girot. 304 00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:50,000 It's very quiet and very effective. 305 00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:53,000 Gibby, just read the first page. 306 00:13:53,001 --> 00:13:58,000 Okay, I'm torn between these two China patterns. 307 00:13:58,001 --> 00:13:59,000 Which ones are you like? 308 00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:01,000 Frankly, Toby, I couldn't care less. 309 00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:02,000 Fine, we'll go with this one. 310 00:14:02,001 --> 00:14:03,000 The butterflies. 311 00:14:03,001 --> 00:14:05,000 It's awfully busy, isn't it? 312 00:14:05,001 --> 00:14:06,000 Martin, what do you think? 313 00:14:06,001 --> 00:14:08,000 I'm going to kill them. 314 00:14:08,001 --> 00:14:09,000 I don't know, sir. 315 00:14:09,001 --> 00:14:11,000 You know I'd rather fancy this one. 316 00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:12,000 The windmills? 317 00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:13,000 It's hideous. 318 00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:14,000 You're not giving it a chance. 319 00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:15,000 That's a handsome plate, that is. 320 00:14:15,001 --> 00:14:18,000 Martin, help me out here, won't you? 321 00:14:18,001 --> 00:14:20,000 Well, I kind of like the sunflowers. 322 00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:22,000 We'll go with the butterflies. 323 00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:23,000 All right, that's it. 324 00:14:23,001 --> 00:14:24,000 I can't take this anymore. 325 00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:27,000 I'm up to my Willy and caterers and florists and chopped liver. 326 00:14:27,001 --> 00:14:29,000 I've got bills showing up on my desk. 327 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,000 $1,200 for a video crew. 328 00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:33,000 $2,100 for a dove release. 329 00:14:33,001 --> 00:14:35,000 Bloody Australia's better than this. 330 00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:36,000 Forget it. 331 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:37,000 The wedding's off. 332 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,000 All right, we'll go with the windmills. 333 00:14:39,001 --> 00:14:40,000 Thank you. 334 00:14:40,001 --> 00:14:45,000 Okay, Gibby, you just take it easy, and we'll talk about the book later. 335 00:14:45,001 --> 00:14:50,000 Don't you think you're overdoing it just a little? 336 00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:52,000 No, I'm overdoing it a lot. 337 00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:55,000 Martin, I've been to 67 weddings in my life. 338 00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:57,000 Four of them are my sister Gina's. 339 00:14:57,001 --> 00:14:58,000 Finally, it's my turn. 340 00:14:58,001 --> 00:15:00,000 It's not a real wedding. 341 00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:02,000 I know that, but it's my not a real wedding. 342 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:04,000 I'm having a good time. 343 00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:05,000 You could just get a grip on yourself. 344 00:15:05,001 --> 00:15:07,000 My sister Gina's going to be the maid of Anna, 345 00:15:07,001 --> 00:15:09,000 and I got the bridesmaids, and I got the ushers. 346 00:15:09,001 --> 00:15:10,000 Toby. 347 00:15:10,001 --> 00:15:12,000 And my nephew Mikey's going to be the ring bearer, 348 00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:14,000 and little Jessica and Ruthie will be the flower girls. 349 00:15:14,001 --> 00:15:15,000 Toby. 350 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:20,000 And I was wondering, could you give me a way? 351 00:15:20,001 --> 00:15:23,000 Thank you, Toby. 352 00:15:23,001 --> 00:15:24,000 I'd be honored. 353 00:15:24,001 --> 00:15:26,000 Well, don't get all misty on me. 354 00:15:26,001 --> 00:15:28,000 You're not my first choice. 355 00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:38,000 These damn shoes are cutting out my circulation. 356 00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:40,000 Is that photographer here yet? 357 00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:41,000 Is it that son of a bitch's length? 358 00:15:41,001 --> 00:15:42,000 He's here. He's here. 359 00:15:42,001 --> 00:15:43,000 Don't get your panties in a bunch. 360 00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:44,000 Where's Ma? 361 00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:46,000 She's in the bar, catching the end of the game. 362 00:15:46,001 --> 00:15:47,000 Am I wedding day? 363 00:15:47,001 --> 00:15:49,000 They're playing the Bears. 364 00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:52,000 Oh, not my veil, will you? 365 00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:57,000 Hey, be careful with that. 366 00:15:57,001 --> 00:15:58,000 What? 367 00:15:58,001 --> 00:16:00,000 I'm holding it like I would hold my own baby. 368 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,000 That's my point. 369 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,000 Shut up. 370 00:16:02,001 --> 00:16:03,000 You shut up. 371 00:16:03,001 --> 00:16:05,000 Hold your head still. 372 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,000 Hey, you look pretty. 373 00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:11,000 Thanks. 374 00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:14,000 I can't believe you made me wear this thing. 375 00:16:14,001 --> 00:16:16,000 It looks good on you. 376 00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:17,000 I look like a highway cone. 377 00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:19,000 How come you get the good dress? 378 00:16:19,001 --> 00:16:20,000 'Cause I'm the bride. 379 00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:22,000 Toby, they're almost ready for you. 380 00:16:22,001 --> 00:16:23,000 Who's this? 381 00:16:23,001 --> 00:16:24,000 This is Martin. 382 00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:25,000 Where's his beard? 383 00:16:25,001 --> 00:16:26,000 I never said he had a beard. 384 00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:27,000 You said he had a beard. 385 00:16:27,001 --> 00:16:28,000 I never had a beard. 386 00:16:28,001 --> 00:16:29,000 You calling me a liar? 387 00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:30,000 What's the matter with you? 388 00:16:30,001 --> 00:16:31,000 This must be your sister. 389 00:16:31,001 --> 00:16:33,000 What the fuck is X supposed to mean? 390 00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:34,000 Nothing. 391 00:16:34,001 --> 00:16:35,000 Nothing. 392 00:16:35,001 --> 00:16:37,000 Just a vague family resemblance. 393 00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:39,000 All right, Chobe. 394 00:16:39,001 --> 00:16:41,000 I'm going out there. 395 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,000 Hey, just don't go into labor. 396 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,000 This is my day. 397 00:16:44,001 --> 00:16:45,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 398 00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:46,000 Wait a second. 399 00:16:46,001 --> 00:16:47,000 Where's my something blue? 400 00:16:47,001 --> 00:16:48,000 Huh? 401 00:16:48,001 --> 00:16:50,000 You were supposed to bring me my something blue. 402 00:16:50,001 --> 00:16:51,000 Since when? 403 00:16:51,001 --> 00:16:52,000 Since always. 404 00:16:52,001 --> 00:16:54,000 I gotta have my something blue. 405 00:16:54,001 --> 00:16:57,000 All right. 406 00:16:57,001 --> 00:17:00,000 Ow! 407 00:17:00,001 --> 00:17:02,000 It'll be blue in a minute. 408 00:17:02,001 --> 00:17:04,000 They never should have let you out of prison. 409 00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:05,000 Drop dead. 410 00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:06,000 You first. 411 00:17:06,001 --> 00:17:09,000 You look gorgeous. 412 00:17:09,001 --> 00:17:11,000 I'll see you out there. 413 00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:18,000 You would look better with a beard. 414 00:17:18,001 --> 00:17:21,000 She really lights up her room. 415 00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:25,000 You really do look beautiful. 416 00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:27,000 Thanks. 417 00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:30,000 What? 418 00:17:30,001 --> 00:17:31,000 I don't know. 419 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:33,000 I never thought I'd get to wear one of these. 420 00:17:33,001 --> 00:17:35,000 It feels nice. 421 00:17:35,001 --> 00:17:37,000 Kind of itchy, but nice. 422 00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:43,000 Hey, you're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding? 423 00:17:43,001 --> 00:17:45,000 Just as long as I don't have to see her after the wedding. 424 00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:46,000 Here. 425 00:17:46,001 --> 00:17:48,000 What's this? 426 00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:49,000 It's a payment. 427 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,000 Now let's get this thing over with. 428 00:17:50,001 --> 00:17:52,000 I gotta be home for the cable man. 429 00:17:52,001 --> 00:17:53,000 She'll be there. 430 00:17:53,001 --> 00:17:54,000 She's a little bit late. 431 00:17:54,001 --> 00:17:55,000 She's a little late. 432 00:17:55,001 --> 00:17:57,000 I gotta be home for the cable man. 433 00:17:57,001 --> 00:17:58,000 She'll be there. 434 00:17:58,001 --> 00:18:00,000 There's your cue. 435 00:18:00,001 --> 00:18:02,000 Come on, let's go. 436 00:18:02,001 --> 00:18:07,000 You okay? 437 00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:08,000 Yeah. 438 00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:09,000 Why shouldn't I be? 439 00:18:09,001 --> 00:18:12,000 Getting paid $13,000 an hour. 440 00:18:12,001 --> 00:18:17,000 Ah, here goes nothing. 441 00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:23,000 It'll probably be over like this. 442 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,000 Can I say that? 443 00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:28,000 Oh, geez. 444 00:18:28,001 --> 00:18:30,000 I gotta run in my stocking. 445 00:18:30,001 --> 00:18:32,000 Someone's gotta get me a new one. 446 00:18:32,001 --> 00:18:33,000 It's fine. It's fine. 447 00:18:33,001 --> 00:18:34,000 You can't see it. 448 00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:35,000 Come on, nobody's gonna know. 449 00:18:35,001 --> 00:18:36,000 Yeah, but I'll know. 450 00:18:36,001 --> 00:18:38,000 I can't walk down the aisle like this. 451 00:18:38,001 --> 00:18:39,000 It'll just ruin the day. 452 00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:40,000 I just can't. 453 00:18:40,001 --> 00:18:41,000 What's the holdup? 454 00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:43,000 I'm paying these musicians by the measure, you know? 455 00:18:43,001 --> 00:18:45,000 I don't want to do this. 456 00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:47,000 What? 457 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,000 What? 458 00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:51,000 I don't want to do this. 459 00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:52,001 I'm sorry. 460 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000 No. 461 00:18:54,001 --> 00:18:55,000 Now, come on. 462 00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,000 Now, you're waxing my dolphin, right? 463 00:18:57,001 --> 00:18:59,000 You must be out of your fucking mind. 464 00:18:59,001 --> 00:19:01,000 There's 300 people out there. 465 00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:03,000 There's an ice sculpture the size of Greenland. 466 00:19:03,001 --> 00:19:06,000 Now, you get out there before I drag you out by your fucking veil. 467 00:19:06,001 --> 00:19:07,000 Back off, Gibby. 468 00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:09,000 She doesn't want to do it. 469 00:19:09,001 --> 00:19:12,000 I'm Marty Bea Pet and help Toby with her train. 470 00:19:12,001 --> 00:19:16,000 And later on, we'll discuss the promotional tour for your book. 471 00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:18,000 Well, you've got to stand up to him. 472 00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:19,000 Go to the papers. Go to the commission. 473 00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:20,000 He can't buy everybody. 474 00:19:20,001 --> 00:19:21,000 Forget the book. 475 00:19:21,001 --> 00:19:22,000 Forget the book. 476 00:19:22,001 --> 00:19:23,000 This is more important. 477 00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:24,000 She's not doing it. 478 00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:27,000 Oh, Marty, you are making a big mistake. 479 00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:28,000 Yeah? 480 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:31,000 I've always heard that a man who never makes a mistake 481 00:19:31,001 --> 00:19:33,000 is a man who never does anything. 482 00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:36,000 Yeah, well, I make them all the time. 483 00:19:36,001 --> 00:19:38,000 But that doesn't mean Toby has to. 484 00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:40,000 There are some things in this world a little more important 485 00:19:40,001 --> 00:19:41,965 than your little green card, like marrying 486 00:19:41,977 --> 00:19:44,000 for love and the right to change your mind. 487 00:19:44,001 --> 00:19:46,000 You see, that's what this country was built on. 488 00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:47,000 People changing their minds. 489 00:19:47,001 --> 00:19:48,000 So just let me tell you something. 490 00:19:48,001 --> 00:19:52,000 If Toby doesn't want to marry you, then she doesn't have to marry. 491 00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:54,000 Well, now that came out very well. 492 00:19:54,001 --> 00:19:55,000 Fuck you, Marty. 493 00:19:55,001 --> 00:19:57,000 Fuck you both. 494 00:19:57,001 --> 00:19:59,000 Fuck this whole fucking country! 495 00:19:59,001 --> 00:20:01,000 Fuck all! 496 00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:10,000 $30,000. 497 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:12,000 Here comes the bride. 498 00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:14,000 Get my bouquet. 499 00:20:14,001 --> 00:20:16,000 What? 500 00:20:16,001 --> 00:20:18,000 I thought you couldn't do this. 501 00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:20,000 Not for $12,500, but for $30,000. 502 00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:22,000 That's more than I'm making a whole year. 503 00:20:22,001 --> 00:20:24,000 Hey, thanks for the speech. 504 00:20:24,001 --> 00:20:27,000 Toby, there's my tie on strike. 505 00:20:27,001 --> 00:20:30,000 God has joined together. 506 00:20:30,001 --> 00:20:32,000 Let no man put a sander. 507 00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:35,000 So, uh, Gibby, I guess this means we're back on with the book. 508 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:37,000 Right? 509 00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:39,000 That's it, Toby. They're playing out. 510 00:20:39,001 --> 00:20:42,000 So... No, no, no, no, no, no. 511 00:20:42,001 --> 00:20:43,000 Nobody's going anywhere. 512 00:20:43,001 --> 00:20:46,000 Now, look, you're getting what you want and you're getting what you want. 513 00:20:46,001 --> 00:20:47,000 Now, what about me? 514 00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:48,000 I've worked too hard for this. 515 00:20:48,001 --> 00:20:49,000 This is too important to me. 516 00:20:49,001 --> 00:20:53,000 Martin, I'll give you $5,000 if you step away from the door. 517 00:20:53,001 --> 00:21:03,000 Bless you both. 518 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,000 (MUSIC PLAYING). 519 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES). 520 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 521 00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:14,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 522 00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:16,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 523 00:21:16,001 --> 00:21:18,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 524 00:21:18,001 --> 00:21:20,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES). 525 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES). 526 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES). 527 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 528 00:21:29,001 --> 00:21:31,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 529 00:21:31,001 --> 00:21:33,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 530 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:35,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 531 00:21:35,001 --> 00:21:37,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 532 00:21:37,001 --> 00:21:39,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 533 00:21:39,001 --> 00:21:41,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 534 00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:43,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 535 00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:45,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 536 00:21:45,001 --> 00:21:47,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 537 00:21:47,001 --> 00:21:49,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES). 538 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 539 00:21:52,001 --> 00:22:18,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES). 540 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES). 541 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 542 00:22:24,001 --> 00:22:26,000 [music ends] 543 00:22:26,001 --> 00:22:36,000 [MUSIC]. 37194

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