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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,968 --> 00:00:28,432 {\an8}We almost have the same memory 2 00:00:29,948 --> 00:00:31,556 {\an8}you and me 3 00:00:38,484 --> 00:00:41,607 {\an8}In dim hotel rooms 4 00:00:43,308 --> 00:00:47,638 {\an8}you meet girls every night. 5 00:00:58,219 --> 00:01:01,219 {\an8}You don't understand the world, 6 00:01:01,930 --> 00:01:05,518 {\an8}you devour it, that's all. 7 00:01:09,518 --> 00:01:12,642 {\an8}The only solution is to live 8 00:01:14,127 --> 00:01:17,962 {\an8}But to live is difficult. 9 00:01:57,252 --> 00:02:01,087 {\an8}You are looking for perfection, 10 00:02:02,386 --> 00:02:04,490 {\an8}even if it makes no sense. 11 00:02:18,893 --> 00:02:23,377 {\an8}What you know gives you strength, 12 00:02:24,491 --> 00:02:26,934 {\an8}but your vanity 13 00:02:27,228 --> 00:02:30,784 {\an8}is enough to make you lose your way. 14 00:02:52,791 --> 00:02:56,348 {\an8}Everything in the world {\an8}is like a mirror 15 {\an8}00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:02,425 {\an8}and your inner wounds 15 00:03:03,539 --> 00:03:07,250 {\an8}are reflected in vacant eyes 16 00:03:25,528 --> 00:03:28,373 {\an8}You try to set yourself free 17 00:03:28,652 --> 00:03:31,002 {\an8}by debating yourself. 18 00:03:31,621 --> 00:03:34,157 {\an8}You never tell me 19 00:03:35,208 --> 00:03:37,713 {\an8}about your true motivation. 20 00:05:05,785 --> 00:05:09,342 {\an8}My hopes and my wounds 21 00:05:11,383 --> 00:05:13,344 {\an8}will be devoured. 22 00:05:23,249 --> 00:05:27,363 {\an8}Is it for me {\an8}that I'm crying today? 23 00:05:28,136 --> 00:05:30,673 {\an8}Or is it for your heart, 24 00:05:30,889 --> 00:05:34,446 {\an8}whose purity I touched? 25 00:05:41,668 --> 00:05:43,895 {\an8}The red hole... maybe it's you. 26 00:05:52,848 --> 00:05:54,982 {\an8}Get me out of there... 27 00:06:20,345 --> 00:06:24,644 {\an8}I want to tell you the story {\an8}of some girls. 28 00:06:29,587 --> 00:06:32,834 {\an8}She for whom sex is a weapon 29 00:06:34,257 --> 00:06:37,257 {\an8}which she uses to kill man; 30 00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:49,449 {\an8}she for whom the taste of saliva 31 00:06:50,248 --> 00:06:52,753 {\an8}semen and vomit intermix 32 00:06:53,025 --> 00:06:56,706 {\an8}with the taste of life {\an8}and provide solace; 33 00:07:05,154 --> 00:07:08,432 {\an8}she who tries to live 34 00:07:09,237 --> 00:07:12,175 {\an8}without feeling the wounds 35 00:07:12,592 --> 00:07:14,603 {\an8}to her heart and body; 36 00:07:20,491 --> 00:07:23,831 {\an8}she for whom working in a brothel 37 00:07:24,388 --> 00:07:28,285 {\an8}remains incomprehensible; 38 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,280 {\an8}she for whom sex and her self 39 00:07:34,084 --> 00:07:36,125 {\an8}mean nothing but money 40 00:07:37,826 --> 00:07:39,929 {\an8}and who earns her living {\an8}on believing that. 41 00:07:44,509 --> 00:07:48,097 {\an8}she who was violated {\an8}by the man she loved; 42 00:07:56,535 --> 00:07:57,896 {\an8}she that was raised 43 00:07:58,483 --> 00:08:04,112 {\an8}like a domestic animal {\an8}by a rich man; 44 00:08:08,086 --> 00:08:10,313 {\an8}she who asks herself {\an8}if it's dirty, 45 00:08:11,303 --> 00:08:13,901 {\an8}dirty sexual mechanics 46 00:08:14,937 --> 00:08:19,823 {\an8}bought by dirty men. 47 00:08:29,653 --> 00:08:31,014 {\an8}She who thinks "I want him!" 48 00:08:32,158 --> 00:08:35,622 {\an8}and thinks only of that, 49 00:08:47,864 --> 00:08:50,740 {\an8}when she chooses a man; 50 00:08:51,575 --> 00:08:54,359 {\an8}she who became dependent {\an8}on her pimp and on masturbation; 51 00:09:03,936 --> 00:09:06,534 {\an8}she who, preserving love, 52 00:09:07,493 --> 00:09:10,678 {\an8}submits to sex, to man 53 00:09:12,245 --> 00:09:15,245 {\an8}and to her vagina; 54 00:09:28,744 --> 00:09:31,064 {\an8}she who knows she will die soon 55 00:09:31,373 --> 00:09:32,858 {\an8}and feels desire 56 00:09:33,291 --> 00:09:35,765 {\an8}for her lover; 57 00:10:06,184 --> 00:10:07,854 {\an8}she who thinks of herself as dead 58 00:10:08,937 --> 00:10:11,442 {\an8}ever since she was raped 59 00:10:12,957 --> 00:10:17,040 {\an8}and hopes to take revenge {\an8}through sex; 60 00:10:33,605 --> 00:10:35,831 {\an8}she who received the semen 61 00:10:36,543 --> 00:10:38,491 {\an8}of fifty men 62 00:10:39,574 --> 00:10:41,708 {\an8}and enjoyed it; 63 00:10:57,427 --> 00:10:59,685 {\an8}she for whom {\an8}watching herself fucking 64 00:11:00,304 --> 00:11:02,314 {\an8}is the only act 65 00:11:02,530 --> 00:11:05,438 {\an8}that makes her conscious of her life. 66 00:12:05,254 --> 00:12:06,739 {\an8}You, 67 00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:09,522 {\an8}you call me Iku 68 00:12:12,151 --> 00:12:14,084 {\an8}but my name 69 00:12:14,425 --> 00:12:16,064 {\an8}is Rei. 70 00:12:20,672 --> 00:12:23,798 {\an8}What you will do 71 00:12:24,695 --> 00:12:27,448 {\an8}with these images you've taken 72 00:12:27,726 --> 00:12:30,819 {\an8}I never knew and still don't. 73 00:12:32,930 --> 00:12:36,456 {\an8}I know nothing about your intentions. 74 00:12:36,587 --> 00:12:41,041 {\an8}Your language and your ideas 75 00:12:41,450 --> 00:12:44,141 {\an8}remain obscure. 76 00:12:53,371 --> 00:12:57,732 {\an8}There are difficult moments, 77 00:12:58,049 --> 00:13:01,730 {\an8}when making love is merely a job, 78 00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:06,856 {\an8}with no emotions. 79 00:13:14,943 --> 00:13:20,449 {\an8}Then my body takes its pleasure 80 00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:31,645 {\an8}but my heart remains cold. 81 00:14:00,323 --> 00:14:02,704 {\an8}There, {\an8}for the first and the last time 82 00:14:03,106 --> 00:14:05,179 {\an8}in my work, I made love 83 00:14:07,444 --> 00:14:09,640 {\an8}with someone that I loved. 84 00:14:14,825 --> 00:14:19,216 {\an8}I'd like to be able {\an8}to do it again 85 00:14:20,361 --> 00:14:23,299 {\an8}but in my work it doesn't happen. 86 00:14:56,368 --> 00:15:03,402 {\an8}The done thing is not to show {\an8}one's feelings, 87 00:15:04,330 --> 00:15:10,454 {\an8}to make them manifest. 88 00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:17,558 {\an8}I feel guilty 89 00:15:18,764 --> 00:15:23,001 {\an8}because I did that. 90 00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:30,988 {\an8}I showed what should have not {\an8}been shown. 91 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:47,040 {\an8}In my work, the act cannot exist 92 00:15:49,205 --> 00:15:53,473 {\an8}outside an awareness 93 00:15:54,356 --> 00:15:58,160 {\an8}of the distance that separates us. 94 00:16:02,652 --> 00:16:11,203 {\an8}This is known by those {\an8}who sell their bodies. 95 00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:39,388 {\an8}You call me Iku, 96 00:16:39,821 --> 00:16:42,017 {\an8}but my name is Izumi. 97 00:16:45,095 --> 00:16:49,339 {\an8}When you film me 98 00:16:49,741 --> 00:16:52,432 {\an8}it's the camera that records; 99 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:56,113 {\an8}when the clients look at me 100 00:16:58,406 --> 00:17:01,406 {\an8}it's their memory that records. 101 00:17:02,086 --> 00:17:04,963 {\an8}In the penumbra 102 00:17:05,643 --> 00:17:08,055 {\an8}I slowly open my eyes, 103 00:17:08,342 --> 00:17:10,878 {\an8}I see the clients' faces. 104 00:17:11,914 --> 00:17:15,501 {\an8}I feel their gaze fixed on me. 105 00:17:17,388 --> 00:17:19,893 {\an8}The light becomes stronger. 106 00:17:21,606 --> 00:17:24,173 {\an8}I dance on the stage. 107 00:17:30,513 --> 00:17:33,389 {\an8}I feel exposed. 108 00:17:36,439 --> 00:17:41,480 {\an8}I slowly undress. 109 00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:45,470 {\an8}Their stares intensify 110 00:17:50,292 --> 00:17:51,839 {\an8}and I plunge into a closed world. 111 00:17:53,787 --> 00:17:56,849 {\an8}I shut my eyes. 112 00:17:59,895 --> 00:18:02,091 {\an8}I caress my body 113 00:18:03,545 --> 00:18:06,947 {\an8}and when I open them again 114 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:12,498 {\an8}a light in the dark {\an8}separates me from reality. 115 00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:16,473 {\an8}The world becomes more beautiful. 116 00:18:23,107 --> 00:18:27,529 {\an8}I don't realize {\an8}which was the moment 117 00:18:29,485 --> 00:18:33,166 {\an8}when my conscience {\an8}started to slip. 118 00:18:39,721 --> 00:18:42,628 {\an8}In this state of mind, {\an8}a part of me 119 00:18:42,845 --> 00:18:46,000 {\an8}which I usually keep hidden, {\an8}comes out. 120 00:18:54,763 --> 00:18:58,505 {\an8}When there is the same mood 121 00:18:58,753 --> 00:19:01,505 {\an8}on the stage as in the room 122 00:19:03,961 --> 00:19:07,641 {\an8}I feel pleasure 123 00:19:08,476 --> 00:19:11,043 {\an8}and I dance as if in a dream. 124 00:19:15,698 --> 00:19:22,069 {\an8}Some focus on my body, {\an8}others on the stage. 125 00:19:26,534 --> 00:19:31,266 {\an8}The stares come from everywhere, 126 00:19:33,747 --> 00:19:38,820 {\an8}to every part of my body. 127 00:19:47,873 --> 00:19:51,244 {\an8}Most of my clients are real pigs. 128 00:19:51,616 --> 00:19:55,358 {\an8}I never go over to them. 129 00:19:56,626 --> 00:19:59,966 {\an8}When they get close with no warning {\an8}I push them away. 130 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,554 {\an8}Everyone has their own way of watching. 131 00:20:29,459 --> 00:20:32,428 {\an8}It's not a look of desire 132 00:20:33,170 --> 00:20:35,676 {\an8}that you have for me. 133 00:20:36,913 --> 00:20:39,356 {\an8}It's different to the clients'. 134 00:20:45,839 --> 00:20:47,880 {\an8}When I was lying down 135 00:20:48,932 --> 00:20:51,221 {\an8}and you were taping me 136 00:20:52,303 --> 00:20:56,200 {\an8}I lost my awareness, 137 00:21:01,410 --> 00:21:03,916 {\an8}like I was asleep, 138 00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:07,828 {\an8}like I was floating. 139 00:21:08,818 --> 00:21:11,539 {\an8}That's all I can remember 140 00:21:22,743 --> 00:21:25,650 {\an8}I was absorbed by you. 141 00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:30,846 {\an8}I let you see this. 142 00:21:35,624 --> 00:21:40,449 {\an8}Even if you only look at my body, 143 00:21:41,562 --> 00:21:46,418 {\an8}I try to give you 144 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:51,367 {\an8}this moment of satisfaction. 145 00:22:28,001 --> 00:22:29,455 {\an8}You, 146 00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:32,860 {\an8}you call me Iku, 147 00:22:33,058 --> 00:22:36,225 {\an8}but my name is Kana. 148 00:22:39,342 --> 00:22:42,014 {\an8}You like forbidden pleasures 149 00:22:48,415 --> 00:22:51,236 {\an8}and I like to do {\an8}what's forbidden. 150 00:22:52,423 --> 00:22:56,134 {\an8}It excites me {\an8}and I take pleasure in it. 151 00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:06,665 {\an8}I think I'm greedy. 152 00:23:11,353 --> 00:23:16,376 {\an8}You are susceptible to pleasure. 153 00:23:17,412 --> 00:23:23,227 {\an8}You hide it {\an8}but you, too, are greedy. 154 00:23:30,889 --> 00:23:36,060 {\an8}Threesomes are the most exciting, 155 00:23:36,584 --> 00:23:40,493 {\an8}but also the emptiest. 156 00:23:43,537 --> 00:23:46,407 {\an8}I live with two faces. 157 00:23:46,642 --> 00:23:50,081 {\an8}I need them both. 158 00:24:07,751 --> 00:24:13,491 {\an8}I have difficulties {\an8}in choosing which I am. 159 00:24:17,871 --> 00:24:22,102 {\an8}At night, I satisfy my desire. 160 00:24:28,843 --> 00:24:31,441 {\an8}My naked truth is disorder. 161 00:24:33,284 --> 00:24:35,931 {\an8}I want the power. 162 00:24:41,288 --> 00:24:43,589 {\an8}But I also like frailty. 163 00:24:44,282 --> 00:24:45,940 {\an8}I want to preserve my fragile side. 164 00:24:48,193 --> 00:24:51,385 {\an8}Inside there's darkness. 165 00:24:58,418 --> 00:25:02,550 {\an8}Sex satisfies the heart and the feelings, 166 00:25:04,678 --> 00:25:06,633 {\an8}not the body. 167 00:25:10,169 --> 00:25:15,415 {\an8}Masturbation satisfies me. 168 00:25:22,552 --> 00:25:24,803 {\an8}In masturbation there's no love. 169 00:25:25,496 --> 00:25:27,970 {\an8}There's love in sex. 170 00:25:42,623 --> 00:25:44,651 {\an8}I want love 171 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,435 {\an8}when it satisfies all my desires. 172 00:26:10,881 --> 00:26:14,542 {\an8}The act itself is empty. 173 00:26:16,543 --> 00:26:20,502 {\an8}The body and the heart {\an8}exhaust each other. 174 00:26:39,336 --> 00:26:42,503 {\an8}Women can also be empty. 175 00:26:44,117 --> 00:26:47,235 {\an8}After they've come, 176 00:26:48,775 --> 00:26:51,868 {\an8}they are satisfied {\an8}and their desire is gone. 177 00:27:09,723 --> 00:27:12,074 {\an8}Extreme love is born of secrets. 178 00:27:43,757 --> 00:27:45,637 {\an8}You call me 179 00:27:46,528 --> 00:27:48,111 {\an8}Iku, 180 00:27:52,570 --> 00:27:54,153 {\an8}but my name 181 00:27:55,861 --> 00:27:57,271 {\an8}is Kei. 182 00:28:03,282 --> 00:28:04,717 {\an8}Woman 183 00:28:06,003 --> 00:28:08,082 {\an8}is both source of life 184 00:28:09,814 --> 00:28:11,768 {\an8}and deep wound. 185 00:28:13,832 --> 00:28:16,083 {\an8}To this deep hole 186 00:28:17,023 --> 00:28:18,755 {\an8}and this deep wound 187 00:28:20,042 --> 00:28:25,063 {\an8}men approach, {\an8}looking for death. 188 00:28:27,463 --> 00:28:30,531 {\an8}You're one of them. 189 00:28:32,201 --> 00:28:33,537 {\an8}You, 190 00:28:34,082 --> 00:28:36,754 {\an8}if you approach me 191 00:28:37,175 --> 00:28:39,500 {\an8}looking for death, 192 00:28:40,648 --> 00:28:42,875 {\an8}please, don't touch me. 193 00:28:43,246 --> 00:28:45,869 {\an8}Life and death 194 00:28:47,427 --> 00:28:49,135 {\an8}are given to us. 195 00:28:51,100 --> 00:28:53,005 {\an8}You don't have to look for them. 196 00:28:54,712 --> 00:28:56,419 {\an8}Women 197 00:28:58,881 --> 00:29:00,366 {\an8}lie sometimes in-between 198 00:29:01,529 --> 00:29:04,250 {\an8}consciousness and unconsciousness, 199 00:29:06,143 --> 00:29:07,974 {\an8}past and future, 200 00:29:09,663 --> 00:29:13,943 {\an8}this world and the one beyond. 201 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,640 {\an8}Since you know that, 202 00:29:20,248 --> 00:29:22,673 {\an8}when I tell you I can be 203 00:29:25,332 --> 00:29:27,683 {\an8}a mirror for you, 204 00:29:28,648 --> 00:29:31,617 {\an8}or a window, 205 00:29:34,623 --> 00:29:36,974 {\an8}can you ignore what I say? 206 00:29:39,287 --> 00:29:40,772 {\an8}A mirror 207 00:29:44,829 --> 00:29:46,858 {\an8}reflects the state of things, 208 00:29:50,945 --> 00:29:53,914 {\an8}encloses and seals 209 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,032 {\an8}the moment. 210 00:29:58,071 --> 00:29:59,803 {\an8}A window 211 00:30:01,943 --> 00:30:04,343 {\an8}is an opening 212 00:30:05,110 --> 00:30:06,842 {\an8}to a different world. 213 00:30:08,673 --> 00:30:13,309 {\an8}It makes air flow around you, 214 00:30:14,150 --> 00:30:17,045 {\an8}and agitates it. 215 00:30:20,565 --> 00:30:24,821 {\an8}You won't be able {\an8}to ignore completely 216 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,001 {\an8}the women who, like me, 217 00:30:28,347 --> 00:30:31,762 {\an8}remain in-between the two. 218 00:30:33,927 --> 00:30:36,327 {\an8}You have a look, 219 00:30:36,970 --> 00:30:39,642 {\an8}undesirable and intense, 220 00:30:40,199 --> 00:30:42,376 {\an8}like a dagger. 221 00:30:45,345 --> 00:30:48,042 {\an8}Love and hate 222 00:30:50,568 --> 00:30:55,467 {\an8}are purified by women's acts, 223 00:30:56,568 --> 00:31:01,220 {\an8}but the particular offering of love 224 00:31:02,655 --> 00:31:04,387 {\an8}is always dirty. 225 00:31:06,143 --> 00:31:09,434 {\an8}The forbidden look {\an8}and the sacred one, 226 00:31:10,533 --> 00:31:13,651 {\an8}the separation and the {\an8}purification repeat themselves. 227 00:31:20,764 --> 00:31:23,956 {\an8}I couldn't be with you 228 00:31:24,476 --> 00:31:27,132 {\an8}if I didn't protect myself. 229 00:31:29,928 --> 00:31:33,416 {\an8}The beauty that has fallen {\an8}into the human world 230 00:31:35,309 --> 00:31:38,624 {\an8}is entrapped by {\an8}embodiment and desire. 231 00:31:40,134 --> 00:31:44,724 {\an8}The light disperses {\an8}and becomes again sky blue. 232 00:31:55,174 --> 00:31:59,257 {\an8}Women are a refuge for life, 233 00:31:59,999 --> 00:32:03,117 {\an8}pure and transparent. 234 00:32:05,865 --> 00:32:08,834 {\an8}You shed tears but 235 00:32:10,491 --> 00:32:12,718 {\an8}do you know where they come from? 236 00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:17,159 {\an8}Tears are an ephemeral shelter. 237 00:32:20,931 --> 00:32:24,320 {\an8}Things immemorial, 238 00:32:25,335 --> 00:32:27,240 {\an8}such as joy and bitterness, 239 00:32:28,509 --> 00:32:30,637 {\an8}pass through you. 240 00:32:32,542 --> 00:32:35,140 {\an8}You say you are alone. 241 00:32:35,462 --> 00:32:38,282 {\an8}You approach the other sex 242 00:32:39,922 --> 00:32:41,728 {\an8}and death. 243 00:32:43,262 --> 00:32:44,846 {\an8}You run towards death 244 00:32:48,396 --> 00:32:51,712 {\an8}but the tears you shed 245 00:32:54,233 --> 00:32:57,548 {\an8}are not yours alone. 246 00:32:58,464 --> 00:33:00,146 {\an8}This is what I believe. 247 00:33:01,223 --> 00:33:02,633 {\an8}As for me, 248 00:33:04,588 --> 00:33:06,443 {\an8}to live 249 00:33:07,266 --> 00:33:08,825 {\an8}I have to stand up. 250 00:33:10,606 --> 00:33:11,942 {\an8}You, 251 00:33:12,811 --> 00:33:14,617 {\an8}you are afraid of death 252 00:33:15,384 --> 00:33:17,190 {\an8}and of darkness, 253 00:33:17,834 --> 00:33:19,689 {\an8}but you come closer to them. 254 00:33:20,667 --> 00:33:22,448 {\an8}The suffering and the beauty 255 00:33:23,339 --> 00:33:26,902 {\an8}of being naked {\an8}have to be sublimated. 256 00:33:30,679 --> 00:33:37,161 {\an8}But I think that {\an8}what you're trying to do 257 00:33:38,931 --> 00:33:42,345 {\an8}is to enlarge the woman's wound, 258 00:33:42,691 --> 00:33:45,463 {\an8}which you approach desperately, 259 00:33:46,242 --> 00:33:50,176 {\an8}seeking extinction. 260 00:33:51,128 --> 00:33:56,844 {\an8}I can't let it go {\an8}without saying anything. 261 00:34:21,836 --> 00:34:25,548 {\an8}You, {\an8}you call me Iku 262 00:34:26,568 --> 00:34:29,612 {\an8}but my name is Sayo. 263 00:34:38,586 --> 00:34:42,273 {\an8}You watch me, {\an8}You don't understand me. 264 00:34:44,918 --> 00:34:47,640 {\an8}You say you don't see {\an8}what's inside me. 265 00:34:49,749 --> 00:34:54,178 {\an8}It's just that I don't {\an8}do anything to explain myself 266 00:35:01,424 --> 00:35:05,457 {\an8}You're interested in me 267 00:35:07,041 --> 00:35:11,127 {\an8}because we have things in common. 268 00:35:15,828 --> 00:35:18,698 {\an8}I find pleasure 269 00:35:21,123 --> 00:35:24,043 {\an8}outside ordinary sex. 270 00:35:31,550 --> 00:35:33,851 {\an8}I play on my own, 271 00:35:34,915 --> 00:35:40,062 {\an8}for my own pleasure. {\an8}It has no special meaning. 272 00:35:43,965 --> 00:35:47,207 {\an8}I'm not trying to attract attention. 273 00:35:48,351 --> 00:35:52,631 {\an8}When others observe me, {\an8}I don't care 274 00:35:53,559 --> 00:35:57,271 {\an8}whether they understand me or not, {\an8}or what they think of me. 275 00:36:02,516 --> 00:36:06,500 {\an8}I don't seek to share my suffering, 276 00:36:07,168 --> 00:36:11,053 {\an8}I don't want to be understood. 277 00:36:12,093 --> 00:36:16,175 {\an8}I act without emotion. 278 00:36:16,620 --> 00:36:20,060 {\an8}You find this strange. 279 00:36:21,717 --> 00:36:24,637 {\an8}It's what sets us apart. 280 00:36:30,103 --> 00:36:33,592 {\an8}You need to express yourself 281 00:36:33,790 --> 00:36:37,353 {\an8}and you act. 282 00:36:49,086 --> 00:36:52,401 {\an8}I dream of a place without sex, 283 00:36:53,614 --> 00:36:55,692 {\an8}That's all I dream of. 284 00:36:56,842 --> 00:36:58,475 {\an8}The body I long for 285 00:36:59,267 --> 00:37:00,925 {\an8}is not neutered, 286 00:37:02,323 --> 00:37:04,970 {\an8}but asexual. 287 00:37:08,711 --> 00:37:12,720 {\an8}I seek neither love, nor sex, 288 00:37:14,093 --> 00:37:18,596 {\an8}neither pleasure, nor relief. 289 00:37:21,008 --> 00:37:25,462 {\an8}What turns me on {\an8}and makes me react 290 00:37:26,699 --> 00:37:28,382 {\an8}is tension. 291 00:37:34,616 --> 00:37:37,511 {\an8}I don't want to be a woman, 292 00:37:38,489 --> 00:37:42,719 {\an8}an object of desire. 293 00:37:45,528 --> 00:37:50,946 {\an8}I don't have feelings for anyone. 294 00:37:57,637 --> 00:38:00,483 {\an8}If the pleasure 295 00:38:03,687 --> 00:38:05,592 {\an8}is only a matter of sex, 296 00:38:07,562 --> 00:38:09,517 {\an8}then it's not enough for me. 297 00:38:11,620 --> 00:38:17,200 {\an8}Being alone with myself {\an8}living in the moment, is all I want. 298 00:38:20,057 --> 00:38:23,892 {\an8}I can't stand sorrow. 299 00:38:28,664 --> 00:38:32,871 {\an8}It's not a life or death matter. 300 00:38:33,068 --> 00:38:35,271 {\an8}I do what I do because 301 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,994 {\an8}I want to enjoy the moment. 302 00:38:46,865 --> 00:38:52,036 {\an8}I don't think about death. {\an8}I don't look for it either. 303 00:38:56,383 --> 00:38:59,500 {\an8}Not being a woman, 304 00:39:00,317 --> 00:39:03,781 {\an8}ignoring men, {\an8}this is my way of being. 305 00:39:12,382 --> 00:39:17,558 {\an8}To gain an understanding {\an8}of what is hidden, 306 00:39:17,732 --> 00:39:20,255 {\an8}I have to make an effort. 307 00:39:23,013 --> 00:39:27,442 {\an8}The essential is that {\an8}which is not shown. 308 00:40:17,571 --> 00:40:19,006 {\an8}Iku 309 00:40:20,045 --> 00:40:23,410 {\an8}is the name you gave me. 310 00:40:28,473 --> 00:40:30,254 {\an8}But my name 311 00:40:30,996 --> 00:40:32,431 {\an8}is Saki. 312 00:40:40,912 --> 00:40:45,637 {\an8}You want more reality 313 00:40:47,011 --> 00:40:48,718 {\an8}and you get inside me. 314 00:40:51,637 --> 00:40:53,740 {\an8}Like a shadow, 315 00:40:55,165 --> 00:40:57,194 {\an8}I try to become a part of you. 316 00:40:58,877 --> 00:41:00,633 {\an8}This is what I've done. 317 00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:07,193 {\an8}It is there, where {\an8}I see no promises, 318 00:41:08,479 --> 00:41:10,088 {\an8}that I see strength. 319 00:41:15,043 --> 00:41:16,873 {\an8}Do you want to go on, lost, 320 00:41:18,878 --> 00:41:22,416 {\an8}or would you prefer to end it here? 321 00:41:26,636 --> 00:41:29,878 {\an8}What you're looking for is here, 322 00:41:30,669 --> 00:41:31,956 {\an8}in the red. 323 00:41:36,871 --> 00:41:39,766 {\an8}You have been constructed 324 00:41:40,966 --> 00:41:42,921 {\an8}by mirrors and shadows. 325 00:41:48,030 --> 00:41:49,589 {\an8}I remember 326 00:41:51,766 --> 00:41:53,288 {\an8}one night, you told me 327 00:41:55,595 --> 00:41:59,851 {\an8}that everything is an irony. 328 00:42:06,244 --> 00:42:08,644 {\an8}Even when you're inside me 329 00:42:09,337 --> 00:42:10,970 {\an8}you aren't satisfied. 330 00:42:14,576 --> 00:42:16,333 {\an8}You swim towards 331 00:42:17,991 --> 00:42:19,475 {\an8}the interior of my being. 332 00:42:22,847 --> 00:42:25,469 {\an8}You can't run away. 333 00:42:29,750 --> 00:42:32,769 {\an8}I don't know me. 334 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,645 {\an8}You can't know me. 335 00:42:45,626 --> 00:42:48,125 {\an8}My mystery 336 00:42:51,471 --> 00:42:54,292 {\an8}constructs you. 337 00:42:59,158 --> 00:43:01,310 {\an8}I'm lost. 338 00:43:03,568 --> 00:43:06,834 {\an8}Where am I really? 339 00:43:12,776 --> 00:43:17,650 {\an8}Close to you, close to me? 340 00:43:23,016 --> 00:43:24,995 {\an8}I advance alone 341 00:43:27,049 --> 00:43:29,919 {\an8}without noticing 342 00:43:32,624 --> 00:43:34,628 {\an8}that the person I've constructed 343 00:43:35,197 --> 00:43:36,805 {\an8}advances alongside. 344 00:43:41,925 --> 00:43:43,682 {\an8}I would like to retrace my steps 345 00:43:45,736 --> 00:43:47,468 {\an8}but there isn't time 346 00:43:48,531 --> 00:43:51,550 {\an8}to do so. 347 00:43:56,410 --> 00:43:58,810 {\an8}I sense your presence, 348 00:44:01,539 --> 00:44:05,176 {\an8}but my thoughts are directed {\an8}towards the exterior light. 349 00:44:10,991 --> 00:44:12,500 {\an8}I want 350 00:44:13,341 --> 00:44:15,073 {\an8}to be there 351 00:44:15,915 --> 00:44:18,018 {\an8}and yet I refuse to go. 352 00:44:23,385 --> 00:44:26,279 {\an8}I plunge 353 00:44:27,888 --> 00:44:30,807 {\an8}into my instinct... 354 00:44:36,855 --> 00:44:39,032 {\an8}I don't want anything else. 355 00:44:41,222 --> 00:44:43,078 {\an8}And you, what do you want? 356 00:44:44,908 --> 00:44:46,962 {\an8}I'll give you whatever you want. 357 00:44:51,189 --> 00:44:53,118 {\an8}Don't leave me alone. 358 00:44:56,409 --> 00:44:58,933 {\an8}I have fallen into an abyss. 359 00:45:03,133 --> 00:45:05,953 {\an8}You enter me, 360 00:45:08,050 --> 00:45:10,970 {\an8}to the depths of me. 361 00:45:14,384 --> 00:45:16,005 {\an8}The more you go in 362 00:45:16,871 --> 00:45:18,652 {\an8}the more you lose yourself. 363 00:45:21,906 --> 00:45:24,306 {\an8}I'm a gaping hole, 364 00:45:27,498 --> 00:45:28,858 {\an8}a red hole. 365 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,448 {\an8}Don't erase me. 366 00:45:41,946 --> 00:45:43,555 {\an8}Don't leave me. 367 00:45:46,276 --> 00:45:47,761 {\an8}I'm in pain. 368 00:45:52,753 --> 00:45:54,238 {\an8}I come. 369 00:45:59,842 --> 00:46:03,454 {\an8}What should I do, 370 00:46:07,054 --> 00:46:09,875 {\an8}come into being or erase myself? 371 00:46:14,994 --> 00:46:17,345 {\an8}Why am I a woman? 372 00:46:24,002 --> 00:46:25,462 {\an8}Don't go. 373 00:46:39,133 --> 00:46:40,667 {\an8}You're still there. 374 00:46:47,335 --> 00:46:48,820 {\an8}Where am I? 375 00:46:50,929 --> 00:46:52,562 {\an8}Inside you? 376 00:47:01,304 --> 00:47:03,185 {\an8}What have you seen? 377 00:47:15,699 --> 00:47:17,084 {\an8}You, 378 00:47:17,555 --> 00:47:19,831 {\an8}you call me Iku 379 00:47:21,198 --> 00:47:23,153 {\an8}but my name is Nao. 380 00:47:27,371 --> 00:47:30,167 {\an8}What I remember 381 00:47:32,443 --> 00:47:36,872 {\an8}is that your body 382 00:47:38,504 --> 00:47:40,681 {\an8}was heavy... 383 00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,334 {\an8}and that, later on 384 00:47:44,497 --> 00:47:48,605 {\an8}you took care of me. 385 00:48:00,621 --> 00:48:03,837 {\an8}My organic liquid 386 00:48:06,435 --> 00:48:09,355 {\an8}is like a red, dirty, 387 00:48:10,852 --> 00:48:14,860 {\an8}lukewarm jelly. 388 00:48:19,771 --> 00:48:21,305 {\an8}A fly buzzes 389 00:48:22,889 --> 00:48:27,141 {\an8}in my uterus. 390 00:48:30,357 --> 00:48:32,485 {\an8}There's a dull ache {\an8}in my lower abdomen. 391 00:48:35,782 --> 00:48:40,656 {\an8}My body spits out dark blood, 392 00:48:44,768 --> 00:48:49,964 {\an8}my brain slightly bleached. 393 00:48:51,820 --> 00:48:53,527 {\an8}Inside this core 394 00:48:54,597 --> 00:48:58,803 {\an8}the insect drones. 395 00:49:02,242 --> 00:49:06,902 {\an8}When I crush it, {\an8}nothing changes. 396 00:49:13,100 --> 00:49:15,896 {\an8}The noise heard down there, 397 00:49:16,984 --> 00:49:19,087 {\an8}the sensation experienced, 398 00:49:20,349 --> 00:49:22,377 {\an8}the pain felt, 399 00:49:23,243 --> 00:49:25,297 {\an8}the bitterness in the throat, 400 00:49:26,064 --> 00:49:28,093 {\an8}and the defiled body; 401 00:49:28,848 --> 00:49:32,509 {\an8}they often return 402 00:49:33,697 --> 00:49:35,305 {\an8}in flashbacks. 403 00:49:48,984 --> 00:49:53,512 {\an8}You walk in the forest at night. 404 00:49:54,557 --> 00:49:59,704 {\an8}A strong man grabs you. 405 00:50:00,581 --> 00:50:04,366 {\an8}He's armed and you cannot move. 406 00:50:05,406 --> 00:50:10,478 {\an8}He forcibly inserts his truncheon, 407 00:50:11,335 --> 00:50:12,820 {\an8}his penis. 408 00:50:12,993 --> 00:50:15,913 {\an8}Imagine that he tears your body, 409 00:50:16,445 --> 00:50:19,067 {\an8}that your insides boil. 410 00:50:20,886 --> 00:50:26,255 {\an8}The burning rod {\an8}penetrates your body. 411 00:50:27,641 --> 00:50:30,461 {\an8}You want to scream, 412 00:50:31,174 --> 00:50:33,129 {\an8}but the pain is too strong. 413 00:50:37,583 --> 00:50:41,368 {\an8}My uterus doesn't bleed anymore, 414 00:50:42,525 --> 00:50:45,915 {\an8}my shoulders are freed, 415 00:50:46,781 --> 00:50:50,418 {\an8}the man is gone. 416 00:50:52,542 --> 00:50:56,847 {\an8}I no longer hear his breathing. 417 00:50:58,060 --> 00:51:00,781 {\an8}Pain blurs everything. 418 00:51:01,482 --> 00:51:03,436 {\an8}The bitterness in my throat, 419 00:51:04,030 --> 00:51:06,381 {\an8}after sucking him... 420 00:51:14,550 --> 00:51:17,049 {\an8}It's not just in my head. 421 00:51:20,229 --> 00:51:24,286 {\an8}My body wants to be swallowed. 422 00:51:43,461 --> 00:51:45,069 {\an8}I'm afraid. 423 00:51:46,084 --> 00:51:47,543 {\an8}I'm afraid, 424 00:51:48,892 --> 00:51:50,772 {\an8}I don't want anyone. 425 00:51:55,449 --> 00:51:56,902 {\an8}Why is that? 426 00:52:00,193 --> 00:52:03,682 {\an8}I don't know how to get better. 427 00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:08,420 {\an8}Even when I'm in love, {\an8}I'm afraid of making love. 428 00:52:12,187 --> 00:52:14,191 {\an8}I'm afraid of everything 429 00:52:15,713 --> 00:52:18,781 {\an8}It's stupid how they find pleasure {\an8}inside me, 430 00:52:20,509 --> 00:52:22,563 {\an8}because I hate men. 431 00:52:24,567 --> 00:52:27,932 {\an8}But they're all I love, too. 432 00:52:29,868 --> 00:52:33,134 {\an8}What can I do to forget? 433 00:52:42,830 --> 00:52:47,309 {\an8}I had ordinary sex 434 00:52:48,750 --> 00:52:51,843 {\an8}for the first time in my life 435 00:52:53,675 --> 00:52:55,382 {\an8}with you. 436 00:52:57,585 --> 00:53:03,335 {\an8}Ordinary as it was, it's strange 437 00:53:03,780 --> 00:53:08,530 {\an8}I didn't feel disgusted. 438 00:53:09,978 --> 00:53:12,007 {\an8}I don't know why, 439 00:53:12,972 --> 00:53:14,902 {\an8}but ever since that moment 440 00:53:15,471 --> 00:53:18,613 {\an8}I have felt relieved. 441 00:53:22,359 --> 00:53:25,971 {\an8}You, {\an8}do you lose your equilibrium 442 00:53:26,886 --> 00:53:29,781 {\an8}in painful solitude 443 00:53:31,290 --> 00:53:33,938 {\an8}to a point of no return? 444 00:53:36,164 --> 00:53:39,653 {\an8}Me, I allow everything. 445 00:53:43,431 --> 00:53:48,132 {\an8}I take the risk of {\an8}not being able to return. 446 00:53:54,781 --> 00:53:59,358 {\an8}It's a physical suicide. 447 00:54:02,055 --> 00:54:03,341 {\an8}You, you get closer 448 00:54:04,479 --> 00:54:08,834 {\an8}to a mental suicide. 449 00:54:10,962 --> 00:54:15,420 {\an8}You cry from time to time 450 00:54:18,859 --> 00:54:22,298 {\an8}without shedding tears. 451 00:54:24,954 --> 00:54:27,354 {\an8}You cling to me 452 00:54:33,169 --> 00:54:34,925 {\an8}but that doesn't change 453 00:54:36,137 --> 00:54:38,092 {\an8}this repugnant vision: 454 00:54:39,428 --> 00:54:41,259 {\an8}you, who are disgusting, 455 00:54:43,127 --> 00:54:48,050 {\an8}and me, whose flesh is disgusting. 456 00:55:02,086 --> 00:55:06,243 {\an8}You don't know 457 00:55:07,257 --> 00:55:10,597 {\an8}what girls truly look at. 458 00:55:11,925 --> 00:55:14,993 {\an8}I wanted to know this 459 00:55:16,478 --> 00:55:19,793 {\an8}so I became them. 460 00:55:21,278 --> 00:55:23,109 {\an8}I have no regrets 461 00:55:24,611 --> 00:55:28,668 {\an8}but it was not {\an8}a good experience 462 00:55:30,635 --> 00:55:32,343 {\an8}If I had done nothing but watch 463 00:55:33,753 --> 00:55:36,178 {\an8}I wouldn't feel so bad, 464 00:55:38,404 --> 00:55:40,572 {\an8}but I went to the other side 465 00:55:42,378 --> 00:55:44,531 {\an8}and I don't know {\an8}what to do anymore. 466 00:55:46,071 --> 00:55:48,150 {\an8}Because I'm a woman 467 00:55:49,238 --> 00:55:51,242 {\an8}I could look closely ... {\an8}touch ... 468 00:55:52,442 --> 00:55:55,486 {\an8}but not being a woman {\an8}would have been better. 469 00:55:57,595 --> 00:56:00,069 {\an8}I don't know {\an8}what you're looking for. 470 00:56:01,838 --> 00:56:04,733 {\an8}Maybe it's not worth knowing. 471 00:56:05,748 --> 00:56:07,999 {\an8}But, to be able to change things, 472 00:56:09,168 --> 00:56:10,727 {\an8}one has to know. 473 00:56:12,335 --> 00:56:15,131 {\an8}Help me to be born again. 474 00:56:16,875 --> 00:56:19,028 {\an8}I can't stand up. 475 00:56:21,799 --> 00:56:23,555 {\an8}I need your help. 476 00:56:25,736 --> 00:56:27,245 {\an8}I don't like men. 477 00:56:28,556 --> 00:56:31,080 {\an8}I destroy myself {\an8}until the very end, 478 00:56:33,072 --> 00:56:37,773 {\an8}and then I ask men for help. 479 00:56:40,408 --> 00:56:42,140 {\an8}The most important thing for me 480 00:56:45,294 --> 00:56:47,867 {\an8}is the core of my own being. 481 00:56:49,599 --> 00:56:51,406 {\an8}The most important thing {\an8}for you... 482 00:56:53,911 --> 00:56:55,717 {\an8}...I don't know what that is. 483 00:56:57,628 --> 00:57:01,884 {\an8}The same thing, surely. 484 00:57:03,492 --> 00:57:05,571 {\an8}Not knowing is disquieting, 485 00:57:07,368 --> 00:57:11,772 {\an8}so I start being afraid {\an8}and that makes us closer. 486 00:57:14,394 --> 00:57:18,258 {\an8}You have met many girls. 487 00:57:20,912 --> 00:57:23,237 {\an8}I don't know {\an8}what you have discovered. 488 00:57:24,450 --> 00:57:26,701 {\an8}Maybe you don't know, either. 489 00:57:29,479 --> 00:57:31,656 {\an8}I don't know 490 00:57:33,661 --> 00:57:35,572 {\an8}what the future holds. 491 00:57:36,017 --> 00:57:40,223 {\an8}Until then I was angry. {\an8}I laughed, I cried, 492 00:57:41,547 --> 00:57:43,205 {\an8}I finally made a choice. 493 00:57:46,872 --> 00:57:48,332 {\an8}Why 494 00:57:48,753 --> 00:57:52,316 {\an8}does it keep spinning {\an8}round my head? 495 00:57:56,490 --> 00:57:59,780 {\an8}For every possible answer, 496 00:58:01,352 --> 00:58:03,405 {\an8}I have ten others {\an8}that come to mind. 497 00:58:04,519 --> 00:58:08,057 {\an8}Nothing is repaired. 498 00:58:14,265 --> 00:58:18,124 {\an8}When I say this, {\an8}there is a noise in my head, 499 00:58:19,399 --> 00:58:21,898 {\an8}It would be nice {\an8}to do better than that, 500 00:58:22,962 --> 00:58:25,263 {\an8}to work my guts out, 501 00:58:26,166 --> 00:58:29,481 {\an8}and fix it all. 502 00:58:38,441 --> 00:58:41,855 {\an8}I used to want to disappear 503 00:58:44,121 --> 00:58:47,708 {\an8}Now I don't. 504 00:58:54,455 --> 00:58:55,939 {\an8}I miss you. 505 00:59:01,828 --> 00:59:03,362 {\an8}I feel like I'm fading away. 506 00:59:07,423 --> 00:59:10,981 {\an8}Each day I die a little more. 507 00:59:20,692 --> 00:59:41,094 {\an8}Subtitle Credits {\an8}------------------------------- {\an8}French to English translation by KarinKarinovna {\an8}Timing by corvusalbus {\an8}Moved to the top by Roanoke@PTP 34384

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