All language subtitles for 19gjfjkl

We need to talk.

[SIGHS]
Caitlin...

It's the middle
of the night.

Can't this wait
until tomorrow?

It's about our kiss.

[MARVIN GAYE'S
"Let's get it on" PLAYS]

* I've been really tryin'...

It was a big mistake,
and it can never happen again.

[MUSIC STOPS]

Let me get this straight.

You crossed town,
got me out of bed,

just to tell me
you don't want me?

Yes.

This is the worst
Booty call ever.

I'm sorry.

I needed you to know that
this isn't going anywhere.

Oh, come on, Caitlin.

I haven't been able to stop
thinking about that kiss.

We both know it meant
something.

I'm not just saying that because
we're eight feet from the bed,

and I'm wearing
tearaway pajama bottoms.

I'm sorry, but I'm with tom now,
and I'm happy.

Okay.

Don't take it personally.

It's not that I don't
find you attractive.

["Let's get it on" PLAYS]

* I've been really tryin',
baby *

* tryin' to hold back these
feelings for so long *

* and if...

So, you obviously had some
second thoughts

after leaving last night.
What are you talking about?

Oh, come on. Your cab stopped three
blocks away at a Korean market.

You got out and took one last
look back at my apartment.

Pretty pathetic.

How did you know?

I was running after you.

I had to get milk anyway.

What's going on
with you and Charlie?

Okay, this has to stay
between us.

Charlie and I kissed
last night.

Oh!
What kind of kiss was it?

Was it a "goodbye, grandma,"

or a "take me,
you oiled-up hunky spartan"?

Sorry.
I just rented "gladiator."

Tom has been so good to me. I don't
know why I would do anything

to sabotage our relationship.

I feel so confused and guilty.

Maybe you should talk
to someone.

My guy's great.

Wow. Your therapist
gave you his home number,

his pager number, and
his mom's number in Florida?

Is that normal? We try not
to use the word "normal."

Thanks, Carter, but I can handle this
problem myself. I don't need therapy.

Hi, Caitlin.

Hey, sweetie.
What a nice surprise.

I just wanted to come see you

to make sure that everything's okay.
Why wouldn't it be?

Well, last night when I met
you and Charlie at the bar,

it felt like
I was interrupting something.

Charlie and I
are just friends.

I don't know what it is, but
he rubs me the wrong way.

What is that annoying thing he
always calls me?

Hey, Tommy tutone!
That's it.

By the way, you left my house
last night for a couple hours.

Where did you go?

To get milk.

Okay.

Since when is it a crime
to have a craving for milk?

It's good for your teeth.

Calcium, tom...
have you heard of it?

And you! He is not "Tommy
tutone." He is not "Tommy boy."

He is not "tommyknockers."

He's tom, he's my boyfriend,
so get used to it. Let's go.

Hey, look at this.

I got everyone new
personal pagers.

They're cellphones,
pagers,

and personal digital assistants
all-in-one.

Ha.
It's the latest technology.

So I guess we can get rid
of those cb radios

you gave us last year?

That's a big ten-four,
good buddy.

So, Paul, are you all set

to do Larry elder's radio
talk show this afternoon?

You'll be defending
our plan

to assign contracts
to minority-owned businesses.

Sir...

You're sending Paul
to debate Larry elder?

You know how I want
to take down

that egotistical
right-winger.

You tend to lose your cool
when you deal with this guy.

The last time you saw him,
you socked him in the jaw.

It was a celebrity
boxing tournament.

He should expect to get hit.

He was a commentator!

So you'll be sticking
with Paul?

I think so.

You can't go toe-to-toe
with Larry elder.

This is not
your area of expertise.

Carter, relax.

As press secretary, I have
an arsenal of stock answers

that are available
in any situation.

What are you gonna do
when he attacks you?

I think my record
speaks for itself.

You know how ridiculous
that sounds?

I will not dignify that question
with a response.

Oh, Paul, stop that.

New York City is the greatest
city on earth!

MAYOR WINSTON:
Good stuff, Paul!

You know where Caitlin is?

No, I don't.

And if I did,
I wouldn't tell you

because I am not the type of
person who gossips.

[CHUCKLES]

She's at therapy.
[SIGHS]

I'm so weak.

Does this have to do
with the kiss?

You bet it does.

Oh! Idiot!

I'm worse than bill
in the mailroom,

who knocked up Cathy
in accounting... I can't stop.

I can't believe
Caitlin's going to therapy.

This is not good for me.
Why not?

This may come as a shock,

but I am not a magnet
for mentally stable women.

If she works out
her issues,

she'll realize
that I'm not right for her.

Maybe she'll realize
you are right for her.

No licensed therapist
has ever said,

"spend more time
with Charlie."

If you have feelings for her,
why not talk to her?

Well, I tried.

She said
she's not interested,

but... I know
there's something there.

What are you gonna do? If it was any
other woman, I'd just let it go.

But with her, I can't.

Anyway,
thanks for listening.

And it goes without saying that
this stays between us?

Charlie, please.
I'm a vault.

[CLICKS, WHISTLES]

Hey, Cathy,
love the oversized sweater.

Hi.

[CLEARS THROAT]
I'm Caitlin Moore.

This is the first time I've been
in therapy,

so I'm a little nervous.

That's understandable.

[SIGHS]

The reason I'm here is
I'm having relationship issues.

I've always been confused
about men and sex.

Maybe it all stemmed back to
the time when I was 9

and I found my mom's vibrator.

I thought it was a magic wand,

so I brought it in
to show and tell.

[DOOR OPENS]

Caitlin, I'm Dr. Lewis.
I'm ready for you now.

This one's a twice-a-weeker.

I'm Larry elder with
the mayor's press secretary

Paul lassiter.

Mr. lassiter,
I've always said

that the only way
for minorities to get ahead

is to work hard,
get an education,

and stop acting like victims.

"I will not dignify
that question with a response."

It wasn't a question.

"New York is the greatest city
on earth."

Are you getting sound bites off
those little cards?

"That is a gross overstatement
of the... Facts."

Why don't we take
a commercial break?

[MUZAK PLAYS]

I think I got him
on the ropes.

Paul, he's killing you,

and he's making our initiative
look foolish.

"That is a gross
overstatement of..."

stop, stop, stop!

I can't just sit by
and let him beat us.

Here's the plan.

I'll feed you the answers
through your personal pager.

Hey, Paul, we're back on
in a few seconds, man.

Hey, Heywood.

Nice to see you again.

Mr. lassiter,
before the break,

I was arguing that the
playing field is level

for minorities in this city.

Well, that's ridiculous,
because...

[BEEPING]
Because...

"Because the average
black family earns 40% less

than the average white family."

Ha! That's because your policies
create a cycle of dependency.

Now, how do you respond
to that?!

How do I respond to that?

[BEEPING]
How do I respond to that?

How do I respond to that?!

"Our policies provide
an opportunity

for even
the neediest citizens."

Typical liberal propaganda
designed to perpetuate

the myth that minorities remain
eternally disadvantaged.

"How can you say that,

when I can't catch a cab because
of the color of my skin?"

What are you talking about?

"I'm talking about
the fact that

"minorities get the short end
of the stick,

and I should know,
because I'm gay!"

You are?
That's right!

"I'm here, I'm queer,
get used to it."

My whole life, I have waited to
meet the perfect guy.

And then I finally do...

tom is smart, successful.
He's kind.

He's everything
I've ever dreamed of.

So I should be happy, right?

But no. Charlie keeps
getting in the way.

Is it possible
you want him to get in the way?

No. He's fun, and we have
a certain chemistry, but...

sounds to me like you're hiding
behind stable relationships

because you're afraid
of what you want.

Hey, whatever happened to

"it's not your fault.
Here's some Xanax"?

Do you find yourself

obsessing over men who aren't
good for you?

Well, now that
you mention it,

I do have
this recurring dream...

[CELLPHONE RINGS]

Oh, sorry.
That's probably the mayor.

How does this thing work?

Hello?

Hey, it's Charlie.
Where are you?

I'm with my... Hairdresser.

Well, I'm just calling
to let you know

the council meeting
was moved to 4:00.

I'll be there when I'm done
with Dr. Lewis...

doctor of cosmetology.

Bye.

That was Charlie.

Did you tell him you're
here talking about him?

No, Charlie has no idea.

The only person
I told was Carter,

and he wouldn't tell a soul.

So, you were talking about
your dream.

I have this one
recurring sexual fantasy.

I'm at work.
I'm alone.

It's late in the copy room,

and suddenly,
this man comes in.

What do you think attracts you
to this scenario?

I guess it's exciting
because...

It's dangerous and forbidden.

And then he says
in a really seductive voice,

"what are you doing here
so late?"

And he gives me this look

like he knows
exactly what I want.

I reach for a piece of paper,
his hand touches mine...

...and a surge of electricity
shoots between us.

[SIGHS]
I get lost in his eyes.

Then he says something that
no woman could ever resist...

"Caitlin, you're my..."

I'm expecting a call
from the head of city council.

Can you cover my phone?
No problem.

I'm gonna make some copies.

Charlie, here's
the quality of life report

you asked for.

Whatever. Just throw
it on my desk.

But it took me eight hours.
Aren't you even gonna read it?

Looks great.

Slap my name on it
and send it out.

Oh, hey, Charlie.

What are you doing here
so late?

It's 3:00.

I've got five after.

It's pretty hot in here.

Oh, Charlie, there you are.

I need to see you
in my office asap.

Sir, can it wait?

You two look so nervous.

Oh, wait a minute.
I know what's going on in here.

You're all alone,

tucked away in a hot
and steamy copy room.

You're stealing paper,
aren't you?

Come on, let's go.

Oh, uh, Charlie,
you forgot your...

[THUMP]

Great job
on the radio, Paul.

Thanks.

I can't believe you're
taking credit.

You couldn't
have done it without me.

Come on, I'm not gonna
replace you

as the voice
of the black man here.

Way to keep it real,
my brother.

Word.

Oh, Paul,

great job on the show.

Thank you, sir.

In fact,
they liked me so much

they invited me back
to guest host

their "talking politics" show
this afternoon.

That's one of the most respected
shows on radio.

Yep. It's only for intellectuals
and people who talk good.

I gotta tell you, Paul,

hearing you on the radio
yesterday

confirmed what I thought
about you.

That I was
a great debater?

No, that you love men.

So, you gonna come with me,
give me all the answers?

You wanna be the voice
of the black man,

you gotta do it alone.

Oh, come on, Carter!

If we don't stick together, how
we ever gonna fight "the man"?!

S'up, bitch?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?
Hey, it's me.

I'm gonna be late
for our 4:00 meeting.

I'm at the hairdresser's.
Weren't you there yesterday?

Yes, but I had some issues...

I mean, some cutting...
that didn't get resolved.

I'm hanging up now.

So, doctor, I have to admit
I was holding back.

There's this fantasy I have

that drives me even Wilder
than the first.

Yes.

I'm alone at my apartment,

and this guy shows up
in a tuxedo

with a bottle of cristal.

Now, this is the kind of guy
who wouldn't mind

spending $600 on
the right champagne.

Ouch.

And he's got a copy of my
favorite book with him...

"pride and prejudice."

This man starts to talk to me
in Italian.

And there is one thing
I cannot resist...

a man who speaks Italian.

Makes me so hot.

Hola, señorita.

That's Spanish... Jerk.

This is Paul lassiter
on "talking politics."

No question is too complex.

Go ahead, caller.

Yeah, in regards to overhauling
the city's education system,

could you please explain

the benefit of vouchers
versus magnet schools?

[IMITATES STATIC]
I'm losing you.

I'm going into a tunnel.

I can't answer
these questions.

I'm a press secretary.
I'm told what to think.

I'm slinging so much crap
I can't see straight.

We're still live.

Next caller.

Sir?
Yeah.

Are you listening?
Paul's in over his head.

'Cause you're not feeding him
like yesterday.

What tipped you off?

Paul's high-school story

about not getting the lead
in "grease"

'cause he refused
to cut his afro.

Sir, you know you should've let
me do that show.

So, you're not happy
with the way it went?

Oh, no, it went great.

We really put elder
in his place, but...

But what?

Those were my words.

They were brilliant.

But sometimes it's not enough

to be the smartest guy
in the room.

You know, yesterday your passion
was tempered by Paul's voice.

You succeeded as a team.

Remember, everyone here
works selflessly

for one common goal...

...making me look great.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Buona séra.

Charlie, what a surprise.

Posso entràre?

I didn't know
you spoke Italian.

Hai imparato viaggiando
in itàlia?

Passo entràre?

Why are you wearing
a tuxedo?

Uh, I was hosting
the daytime emmy awards.

"Passions" cleaned up.

What do you have in the bag?

Champagne...

And "pride and prejudice."

Oh, you're reading
"pride and prejudice"?

That is so hot.

Really?
Oh, yeah.

You know what it
makes me wanna do?

What? Introduce you to
my aunt's book club.

"Darcy had walked away to
another part of the room.

"She followed him
with her eyes,

envied everyone
to whom he spoke..."

Well, I guess we should
call it a night.

Oh, what a great book.

Who's going uptown?

See ya, Caitlin.

You are not going anywhere.

You have a lot
of nerve.

How could you take advantage
of me like that?

So if you found
out my fantasy,

you wouldn't use it
to seduce me?

Charlie, I would never dress up
like Molly ringwald

in "the breakfast club."

I'm gonna kill Carter.

Why are you doing this?

Because when we kissed
the other night,

there was something there.

I guess I figured if I could
create another romantic moment,

I could get you to see that.

So you rented a tuxedo,
learned Italian,

and bought a $600
bottle of champagne?

Why didn't you just
talk to me?

That seems a little extreme.

You are out of your mind.

Maybe, but do you know
any other guy

that would do all of this
for you?

No.

Admit it, you liked
that I showed up here tonight.

Maybe a little.

Well, since I'm dressed
like a waiter,

I might as well pour you
some champagne.

Guess we shouldn't let it
go to waste.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Oh, my God.
This is amazing.

I can't believe you
spent so much for it.

Well, don't worry. I figured out
a way to pay for it.

By the way, are you satisfied
with your long-distance plan?

Let me make a toast
in Italian.

All you know how to say
is "may I come in?"

I learned one more phrase...

A un moménto perfètto
con una Donna perfètta.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

TOM: Hey, sweetie, it's me. I'm downstairs.
I'll be right up.

Oh, God, it's tom.
You gotta get out of here.

God, why do I keep
letting this happen?

Maybe it's because you'd rather
be with me than him.

Don't do this.
What am I doing?

You're not serious about this. It's
all a game to you. That's not true.

What if I told you
I'm gonna leave tom

and start a relationship with
you... a real relationship.

Is that what you want? We're talking about you!
What do you want?!

No more games,
no more fooling around...

what do you really want?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

That is a very insightful
answer, Mr. lassiter.

You are a true policy expert.

What other complex questions can
I answer for you, stranger?

I'm wondering... would raising
subway token prices

be an effective way of balancing
the city's budget?

Well, yeah.
[CHUCKLES]

You know, I guess...

Damn it.

[MAN] Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

[BARKING]

Moo.