Original subtitles

##

No dawdling, Sergeant. Hell hath no fury like --

Like Your mother when we're late.

I am well aware.

To me.

To me.

Little bit more.

Grit those teeth. Gird those gluteans.

##

- You like it? - No, I do not!

And it better not damage my roses, whatever it is.

Oh, fear not, Beryl.

This is a traditional Bermudian moongate,

said to bestow prosperity and joy

to all couples who pass under it, you see.

Well, I've a church to clean,

and the only thing it's bestowing on me right now

is another angina attack.

##

##

Oh, they're here.

##

Mrs. Braithwaite, a very warm welcome to Great Slaughter.

There's nothing warm about it.

- Mother. - Look at you!

Look at you, my boy.

Almost as handsome as your old father.

It's just as I imagined. So beautiful!

You're beautiful! Look at you.

- Hello, Lilly. - Lovely Felix.

- Handsome as ever. - Thank you.

So, Lilly is our chief bridesmaid.

And this is WPC Button. She is our bridesmaid as well.

And this is Sister Boniface.

And finally, this is Inspector Sam Gillespie.

I have something of a surprise.

Oh. Gabriel.

I...thought you couldn't make it.

What an unexpected pleasure.

Felix.

I didn't realise they dress so casually here.

Mm.

And, sister,

I see the local cuisine agrees with you.

Father would have wanted me to walk his girl down the aisle

and to make sure she's not making some...huge mistake.

##

Well, the more the merrier.

I've got a table booked at the Spitfire Pub.

If you'd like to follow me?

##

##

##

##

##

And I want plenty of photographs.

My re-election is right around the corner.

This little trip is perfect

for showing an MP with a more international outlook.

Not to mention the minor perk of your only son's wedding.

These are my treat, everyone.

No. Gabriel will take care of it.

Let's not insult the inspector's generosity.

Thank you.

And after lunch we'll do a run-through in the church.

It's beautiful, Mother.

One look and I forgot about our plan to marry at Alexandra.

- Alexandra? - A very special beach.

Where Felix and Victoria first started courting.

Must we hear the story again?

Oh, go on.

On Victoria's 16th birthday,

our Sunday school took us on a church outing

to Alexandra Beach.

But when it came to home time,

Felix and Victoria missed the bus.

They ended up stuck there together as the sun went down.

So romantic.

Jacob: Felix didn't stand a chance.

By the time I drove to collect them, they were an item.

So...when do you expect to come home,

to this place so close to your heart?

Actually, we have some very exciting news.

Felix and I intend to stay.

- For how long? - Indefinitely.

In London, actually, when Felix transfers.

When you transfer?

Yes.

As and when...

I'm sure you understand.

Are you all right, Mother?

Me? Oh, yes.

Why on earth wouldn't I be?

I'm sure you'll be very happy indeed.

##

Now...

...I've been considering this Scriptural reading

that, um, well, you suggested,

and I wonder if I might propose an alternative, hmm?

# Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? #

Needless to say, I will have to be in full Shakespearean costume

for maximum impact.

Yeah, sir. That sounds great.

R-R-R-Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May.

# De-dum, de-dum, de-dum, de-dum, de-dum #

You all right, Sarge?

I've done the right thing, haven't I, Peggy?

There isn't a point in me telling Victoria

that my Met Police paperwork wasn't lost

or that I turned down the offer to work in London?

'Cause eventually she will love Great Slaughter,

you know, like...like I did.

I-I suppose my question would be...

...why are you so afraid to tell her?

Mrs. Clam is erupting. Her flowers are yet to show.

I better go and calm her down. I'll see you there.

- Lilly! Hello. - Inspector!

I thought I'd escort the best man to the rehearsal.

Well, not if I escort you first.

##

Miss Thimble: My secret recipe.

Passed down from Thimble to Thimble.

I assume we'll be buying a second cake also,

as is Bermudian tradition.

Oh, I-I'm sure one is probably enough.

Crumbs all over my floor.

But not even a sliver of cake for the poor old cleaner.

There's gratitude for you.

Doctor's orders, Beryl. Remember?

Well...

bon appetit.

##

Mmm!

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Miss Thimble, what is that, um, unique sharpness?

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

May I have a word?

The flowers have finally arrived.

Nobody touch that or I'll be breaking fingers.

I haven't eaten all day.

Sister Boniface: My apologies.

Um, so, um, it seems that someone telephoned

to cancel the rehearsal.

So Father Valentine's now out visiting parishioners.

Okay. Well, this must be some kind of misunderstanding.

Well, it just so happens

that I am rather familiar with the ceremony myself.

If you'll permit, I can happily coach you through the basics.

Call it a wimple walk-through.

Sam:

##

So, uh, Gabriel will take Victoria by the arm

and start walking on the left foot -- Uh, no.

Sorry. Your right.

- Or is it my right? - We've got it.

People are watching.

Tears. Sniffling. Blowing noses.

And then Lilly follows -- and Peggy.

And they all arrive here.

That's it. That's it.

Victoria, you'll bung the bouquet to Lilly.

Good.

Gabriel, hand that lady over.

Um, at which point Father Valentine will take over.

Chitter-chatter, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb

until we reach everybody's favourite bit --

"Felix, do you take Victoria to be your lawful wife,"

et cetera, et cetera, "until death do you part?"

##

Sam: She's dead.

##

Sam: Angina pills.

I fear there's more to this than poor Beryl's dodgy ticker.

Observe.

Eyeballs sunken. Skin cyanosed.

And, um, inside her mouth, a curious blue staining.

So is this f-foul play... against a church cleaner?

- "Crumbs." - Have you got something, Sister?

"Crumbs." The noun, not the expletive.

Small particles of bread or biscuit or cake

- or pastry or -- - We get the picture.

Are they significant?

Hmm. The very same.

##

Son, what is she doing?

We find it best to just let her do her thing.

Bingo. A droplet.

Same colouration.

There's another one here, I think.

Sister Boniface: Oh, yes.

Seemingly emanating from...

Beryl's broom cupboard.

##

Gosh. Neat as a pin.

And everything exactly in its place.

Aside from...

Weed killer. Arsenic-based.

So...

it would appear that someone laced the cake Beryl consumed

with arsenic.

Poisoned?

But...that wasn't her plate.

Indeed.

Alas, logic implies that the intended victim was actually...

our bride-to-be.

Surely you don't think one of us did this?

Murder my sister?

Well, the bottle's fairly full.

So the dose would seem to be a single capful --

fatal to someone of Beryl's constitution

but likely to just make Victoria very poorly indeed.

Meaning the real aim was to derail the wedding.

But we've all been together.

How?

Let's all rendezvous at the Spitfire pub.

Try not to panic.

Just let us do our job.

The last person I saw was Felix's father, Mr. Livingstone.

What was he doing?

He just looked a little uncomfortable at being seen.

Why?

Well, one doesn't want to be a tattletale.

But I must confess I saw him having words with Victoria.

He seemed very upset.

- I was not upset. - Felix: Father, look.

This is a murder investigation.

It is imperative you tell us everything that happened.

All right. All right.

We did have words -- about you.

Victoria, love, as the one who controls the diary,

you and Felix will still at least be coming back

for the election?

Tucker Simmons is running as Mr. Family Man.

I won't stand a chance without you both at my side.

Well, I'm sorry, Jacob, but we have the move to plan now.

But...this could be the reason I lose my seat.

After everything I've achieved. Is that what you want?

If you must know,

Felix has little interest in supporting the job

that meant you were never around as a father.

The poor thing sat all alone in the hospital with his mother

while she passed away -- before any family arrived,

before you came back from your work trip.

I'm sorry, but the answer is no.

Felix: Victoria said that?

Jacob: Is it true?

Son, if I had known, then I --

I think it's best that we focus on the problem in front of us.

And just to say, this does not look good for you.

Poor Victoria.

You know, I dreamt I married Pete Sherry

from The Queenmakers once.

Is that so?

It was so fancy.

Famous people everywhere, dancing.

My wedding dress was a miniskirt.

And you were my bridesmaid. Can you imagine?

##

# She's so sunny #

# I'm not wearing shades #

# She's so bright #

# Yeah, she's so bright #

# She's so pretty #

# I hope she never fades #

# She's so bright #

# Yeah, she's so bright #

# Everyone's fallin' in love with you #

# Everyone's sayin' they'll all be true #

# I'm the one, baby, who helped you see the light #

# Ah, ah #

# Out of, out of, out of sight #

Peggy: Sister? Sister?

Sister...are you with us?

I am indeed, Peggy.

Our culprit's fingerprints, however, are not.

They must have worn gloves.

Beryl didn't half keep her cubby hole in ship shape.

Sister Boniface: Agreed.

Which is what makes this little anomaly...

##

...all the more anomalous.

Blue colouration. Crystalline.

Appears to be covered in some kind of slippery substance.

Almost like it's fallen off a piece of jewellery.

Morgana: How dare you.

We saw your reaction

to the news that Victoria intends to stay.

Because she's breaking a promise.

Coming home to live with me... care for me in my old age.

This is a Braithwaite family tradition.

Victoria never mentioned that to me.

Victoria will always do what she wants.

And it seems what she wants is to abandon me!

No. This is all wrong.

The lustre, the refraction,

and not one of these stones is chipped.

Of course they're not.

- Felix? - Yeah.

What are we to do now?

I can't even sip my brandy without thinking it'll kill me.

I had to get Lilly to try it first.

We're scared, Felix.

If we're going to delay, it would be cheaper to cancel now.

Wait, wait. Look.

What happened to Beryl is a tragedy.

But I do not believe that whoever did this

intended for it to go so far.

Sam: Absolutely.

I think we should focus on giving Victoria and Felix

the special day they deserve.

What do you say?

Jacob: Hear, hear.

To Morgana, the wedding means abandonment.

To your father, it's a threat to his career.

Gabriel?

Victoria did have a falling-out with him

when he took over the family trust.

He started acting like a playboy tycoon.

Mm.

And Lilly? Could she harbour a grudge?

- Maybe hold a torch for you? - Oh, no, no.

Not since we were children. Years ago.

What about this blue gem of yours, Sister?

- Is it valuable? - Only to us, I'm afraid.

It's glass.

Allow me to introduce Shane the Shard.

Enjoying his little oil bath.

Notice anything unusual?

Sam: Uh, a couple of the sides are frosted?

Gold star, Sam.

Physical and chemical weathering.

In other words, it's sea glass, and Bermuda is famous for it.

Best guess -- It was in the killer's pocket or bag.

As they took their gloves out,

the sea glass cracked on the floor, leaving this.

Felix: So how does this get us closer?

Shane was coated in a slimy substance, which I've extracted.

Get your nasal cavities around that.

Mm. It's almost floral.

What is it?

A mystery.

The way I see it, identify that slime

and I'll identify our killer.

Slime and punishment, if you will.

Father Valentine's still out.

His housekeeper's gonna get him to call you in the morning.

Right. Thank you, Button.

Oh, uh, one more thing.

Mrs. Clam told me

the Braithwaites' cheque for the florist bounced --

for the second time.

Good morning, Miss Thimble.

- Everything all right? - Sorry.

I just can't seem to find my keys anywhere.

Oh?

- Funniest thing. - Yeah.

I haven't seen them since I started baking your cake.

Okay. Right.

Ah, Tom!

Is this our wedding car?

Oh, hey, look at the flag there!

Yes, Tom, but you, um,

you remember that we're from Bermuda?

I believe these flags are from...Burma.

Aw!

Tom, don't forget tonight. Stag night.

- 7:00 p.m. - No. Sam.

I-I don't think that's quite appropriate.

And also, I don't want to be hung over

- when I'm getting married. - It's a British tradition.

Besides, that's the least of your troubles.

- What? - Father Valentine.

Yeah?

The person who telephoned to keep him from your rehearsal

also claimed that there'd been a family emergency

and the whole wedding was being postponed.

I set him straight. He'll be there.

But...who would do this?

All he said was it sounded like a young woman with an accent.

Sarge! You can't be here. Victoria's getting in her dress.

It's bad luck.

My goodness, Peggy. You look...

Mesmerising.

Do you think?

I was eaten alive by mosquitos the other night.

My shoulders are covered in bites.

Sam! Felix.

What is it?

##

I've no idea.

But anything you want to say to Lilly,

you can say in front of me.

Sam: Is that all right with you, Lilly?

As you wish.

Lilly, why did you call Father Valentine

and lie to him in an attempt to cancel the whole wedding?

Is this true?

All right.

It's because...

I heard you, Felix --

at the station, talking with Peggy.

- Oh, no. - He lied to you, Victoria.

He's not waiting for his paperwork from London.

He turned down the job

so he can stay in Great Slaughter for good --

without even telling you he'd made his choice!

I'm sorry. It -- It was stupid of me to make that call.

##

I just thought that in time,

you would find that you wanted to stay.

So why not trust me to make that decision on my own?

I don't just want to be your housewife, Felix.

You said we would make choices together.

You're right.

That was wrong of me. I'm so sorry.

Listen.

I will call the Met today... and I will make it right.

I will.

I'm sorry.

I...I have to go.

I...I have a lot to do.

So...

##

Are Victoria's family facing financial difficulty?

Jacob:

First we have to talk about what Victoria said.

Your mother.

Why did you hide that from me?

I suppose because... it wasn't unusual,

You being away.

We were used to being alone

while you stayed and focused on work.

I didn't tell you

because I knew how guilty it would make you feel.

I had to work hard to provide for my family.

That was a choice, Father.

And we both know that.

Look.

I have to solve this case if I want to have any chance

of having a family of my own.

- All right. - Okay.

Let's just say Gabriel is not the industrialist

his father was.

As I hear it, the Braithwaite trust is in the red.

Fuzzy duck.

Ducky fuzz.

Fuzzy duck.

##

Ducky fuzz.

Fuzzy...duck.

Ducky...fuzz.

Fuhradder-acker...racker.

What kind of peculiar patois is that?

He said Fuzzy Duck. It's your forfeit.

Gabriel's suspiciously late, don't you think?

I wouldn't call it susp-- susp--

I can't...

Do you know that Tom wanted to dress you as a belly dancer?

My idea was the antlers.

Thank you.

Another round, if you please.

Flubber rubber-bubber.

##

We need to talk.

We've had a...tough year.

That's all.

So you're happy paying for the wedding?

And us staying in England.

And Victoria's dowry.

And your mother's care in Victoria's absence.

All right.

I'm in a spot.

Do not tell my mother.

I made some...bad investments.

We're in a hole.

And I can't yet see a way out.

Other than destroying our wedding to save some money?

If you think I concocted some scheme,

you're forgetting one thing.

I can't control Victoria Braithwaite

any more than you can.

Look.

My father can help you.

He knows people, and he knows money.

All you have to do is swallow your ego and ask him.

You can't keep this a secret.

This coming from the man who hid his life plans from his fiancée?

Felix, it is your stag do.

Come and choose a drink

before Tom forces his scrumpy cider down you.

Sam. Sam...

I appreciate everything you're doing.

Thank you.

But right now, what I need is some air.

Oh. I've never tasted rum before.

It's very strong.

I'm on my third, and I'm feeling absolutely fine.

Just going to powder my eyes.

Oh.

How thoughtful to put together some of Victoria's memories.

Head girl at Mount St. Mary's Academy.

Devonshire Parish May Queen.

Oh.

Hamilton Nursing Awards.

And, um, is that you there, Lilly?

Oh. Please excuse my face.

I was told the sultry look was in vogue.

Maybe a few sour grapes?

Didn't you try for the promotion too?

Oh, I was never as good as Victoria.

Whatever my daughter sets her mind to, she achieves.

Apart from weddings, it seems.

Oh, I'm so sorry, V.

I didn't know what to do. I panicked.

Sarge never meant any harm.

He just didn't know how to tell you.

Victoria: Thank you, Peggy.

It's just...

Well, I imagined this night for so many years.

I never thought I'd feel like this.

Oh, my goodness.

Mrs. Clam.

You're here very late, no?

Well...when one takes on a job, one does it properly.

We couldn't very well send you on your way

without things being just so, could we?

That is very kind.

Well...

Shouldn't the groom be with his friends?

I'm afraid that Victoria and I have a few wedding jitters.

And I fear that this might all just be my fault.

Ah.

##

Could it be...

the problem is our predilection to overthink?

##

Cyril and I did just that.

We delayed our wedding until after the war.

A decision...I regret.

##

Life is rarely straightforward.

But when it comes to true love, I believe it is.

When you know...you just know.

The rest is to be forgotten.

I think you're right.

You know something?

If I may...Vera?

I do believe I will miss you.

Very much.

Well...

The good Lord never blessed us with a son.

But if He had...

I'd like to think he'd be a little bit

like Mr. Felix Livingstone.

##

##

Beryl: I have little sympathy, Inspector.

If the groom is able to conduct himself respectably,

why can't you?

I see someone's got a spring back in their step.

Yeah.

While I was talking to Mrs. Clam last night, I realised that...

I need to stop overthinking.

You know, it's simple.

Victoria loves me, and I love her.

"Sam. Urgent news. Contact posthaste."

Yes. The sister telephoned this morning at some ungodly hour.

I'll have to meet you gents at the church.

I won't be late.

Following your heart.

Your mother would be proud of you this morning.

Let me.

##

Son...

...I am...truly sorry.

I was consumed with what I thought was important

when really I should have been looking out for my boy

when he needed me most.

I fear I was not a good father.

Well...you're here now.

I am.

##

Sam: What am I looking at?

Sister Boniface: Skin cells.

I'm not feeling a hundred percent, Sister.

Some of the cells are dead, and some are still living.

- Lovely. - They were lurking

within our slippery substance,

which suggests it's been vigourously rubbed

into irritated skin.

So some kind of ointment or lotion?

Mm. Precisely. Quick trip to the chemist.

And based on the composite elements isolated

plus the strange floral odour, I can confirm

that the cryptic cream on the sea glass is this.

Well done, Sister.

That's it.

So we're looking for someone who suffers from atopic dermatitis?

Eczema?

But none of us has eczema.

I'd know. We're hardly strangers.

Flapjack and custard.

- Mm. - Don't be long.

And remember, no slouching.

We're in danger of being late.

And you need to pick up Button, Sister.

You look wonderful, by the way, Victoria.

Are you all right?

You know what? Yes.

I've decided. I want Felix.

I want to get him to London,

and I want us to have an amazing life.

Then, knowing you, that's exactly what you'll get.

Oh!

I think that means it's time!

Oh, no. Your makeup, silly.

Oh, I might have to borrow a hankie.

Oh! Borrow!

Something old, something new, something borrowed,

something blue.

- I completely forgot. - Don't worry.

Your chief bridesmaid did not.

I have it all set aside.

Now, where's my handbag?

Cutting it fine, aren't we, Inspector?

Sorry. No further developments.

Do you have the rings?

Relax.

- What is going on? - Gabriel!

Forgive me for asking,

but you don't suffer from eczema, do you?

No. Why?

Long story.

This wedding is a long story.

Where is Victoria?

People are getting restless.

Peggy, I-I just don't think you're going to fit.

I'm already late.

We'll just have to get somebody to pick us up, then.

And there was me thinking it was a good day.

Hair done, dress on, my mosquito bites all gone.

Can hardly see them now.

What?

What exactly did you treat your insect bites with?

A cream.

Anti-inflammatory something or other.

I borrowed it last night at the hen do.

Peggy, this is extremely important indeed.

From whom precisely did you borrow the cream?

Yes? Where's something blue?

I...must have lost it.

We'd better find something else here.

Give it to me.

Is this sea glass?

Yes. It's -- It's from Alexandra Beach...

where you and Felix...

Why would you hide this from me?

The end is broken off.

Is this...

##

Lilly...what's going on?

##

Where on earth is she?

I'll telephone the B&B.

As it happens, someone's very keen to entertain

in the meantime.

##

Verily, greetings, salutations.

I give you good morrow.

Lend me...your ears.

Sorry. Sorry.

Oh, aren't the flowers lovely.

Um...

I do take it that Victoria is yet to arrive?

That's right. Uh, why?

We may have a teeny-tiny, itty-bitty,

teensy-weensy problem.

Please. Listen. It's not what you think.

You tried to poison me.

You could have killed me.

I only wanted to stop you.

No, no, no, no, no! What are you doing?

I have to telephone the station.

No. You can't.

I only need the passport from the safe in your room.

- Then I'll go. - What, on the run?

You're not capable of that. Now, come on.

If you're scared, I will do the talking.

I said no!

##

I think we lost your buttonhole on the last bend!

Just keep going!

##

We'll be back!

##

I need my passport. Now.

Lilly, don't do this. My wedding!

My special day. My Felix!

Now!

Everybody just...just keep calm.

Felix.

Felix: It's okay. It's okay.

We know.

But...h-how?

Your eczema, Lilly.

You took great precautions

not to leave fingerprints on the weed killer,

but, alas, you made a mistake.

The chip of sea glass left at the scene

was coated in lavender-scented steroid cream.

As a nurse, you'd know very well that it could also be used

as an anti-inflammatory for insect bites,

which is why you kindly lent it to Peggy.

##

I could have died.

My own best friend.

Best friend?!

You didn't even know I had eczema!

From childhood!

I tried so hard to be happy for you.

So hard.

And even when you had it all,

even when we arrived at the rehearsal,

you had to rub my nose in it.

And just think.

If you'd never missed that bus at at beach,

you might not even be here.

I wish I had your luck.

Lilly!

A real woman makes her own luck.

##

I set it up.

I made sure we missed the bus.

That way, I could have Felix all to myself.

##

But...you knew how I felt about him.

I told you.

You forgive me, don't you?

You are too nice for him anyway.

##

Lilly: I suddenly saw it.

It was like a bolt of lightning!

My whole life would have been different if it wasn't for her!

I was always the bridesmaid!

Everything I ever wanted, she took.

The promotion, May Queen -- everything!

So you wanted to ruin it all for me?

You always get your way, Victoria!

Just for once, I wanted to see that stupid, entitled smile

wiped off your face.

Moving to London was my dream.

And you're so lovely,

you can't even tell her it's not what you want!

No. No. No, no, no. That -- That is not true.

Oh, so you called Scotland Yard, then?

Like you said?

You see?

She'll make you miserable!

Just like she made me this!

She's ruined my life!

She doesn't deserve this!

She doesn't deserve to be happy!

She's taken everything from me!

Sister Boniface: Lilly?

Dear.

We know that you didn't mean to kill anyone.

That's not who you are.

It wasn't murder.

It was a mistake.

Let's not make another one, hmm?

##

It's okay.

##

Felix: It's okay. It's okay.

##

##

Felix: Bermudian flags, Tom.

We got there in the end.

Ar.

Is any of what she said true?

Was it true you didn't call Scotland Yard?

We should still get married.

We always said it was the right thing to do.

Even though we stumble at every hurdle?

Even in being honest?

Okay, then.

I know you love it here.

You know, your friends.

But like it or not, you're going to have to choose

between your life here and your life with me.

You're right.

##

Victoria Braithwaite... I love you so much.

And I really want to make you happy.

I do.

##

But if it means giving up the people

that have become so special to me...

...I just don't think I can.

It will eventually hurt us both.

##

That's the problem.

You always were so wise.

##

Good luck... with everything we discussed.

Yes.

Actually, uh, Mr. Livingstone, I wondered if I could...

I could ask for your help with something.

Of course. We've got a long journey ahead.

Plenty of time to talk.

Father, I'm going to ask for some time off

so I can be there for the election.

No. Stay.

What matters the most to me is that you're all right.

Mm-hmm?

Yeah.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- Take care. - And you.

You take care of yourself, Felix Livingstone.

You too.

##

##

##

##

So kind to suggest we not let all this hard work go to waste.

And, Miss Thimble, this cake...

Miss Thimble: Oh. There they are!

My keys!

If you'll permit, I believe I've unlocked

the secret ingredient in Miss Thimble's recipe.

Well, I went to the effort to write speech,

so if you'll indulge me.

Now, I've been instructed to keep this speech smut-free,

so if I come across an innuendo, I'll whip it out immediately.

No, but, um, the truth is, I want to talk about...

about home.

We're told there's no place like it.

Home is where the heart is.

It's where we find our family.

But I think we all know that family is more than blood.

It's...It's who we care about.

It's who we trust.

And it's who we rally around when they need us most.

I had no idea,

when Felix Livingstone came into Great Slaughter

clinging on to Sister Boniface's sidecar in abject terror,

that I wasn't just gaining a sergeant,

I was gaining a brother.

We are your family,

and we will always be there for you.

And this... this will always be your home.

Sister Boniface: Hear, hear.

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# For he's a jolly good fellow #

# For he's a jolly good fellow #

# For he's a jolly good fellow #

# And so say all of us #

# And so say all of us #

# And so say all of us #

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