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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,173 --> 00:00:05,301 For all of you who are too fucking busy, this is what happened last week: 2 00:00:05,468 --> 00:00:08,262 Why is that man driving your car? You let him steal it? 3 00:00:08,429 --> 00:00:12,683 No, Beto, I stole it, back when life was fun and the world had meaning. 4 00:00:12,850 --> 00:00:14,852 My partner works for this city. 5 00:00:15,019 --> 00:00:19,106 Because we're not married, I'm not allowed to share in his insurance benefits. 6 00:00:19,273 --> 00:00:21,984 You told the world we're gay. 7 00:00:22,151 --> 00:00:25,154 You have stumbled into the most significant moment... 8 00:00:25,321 --> 00:00:27,907 ...in the history of the gay rights movement. 9 00:00:28,074 --> 00:00:31,869 You also have dog shit on your face and no place to live, but we can fix that. 10 00:00:32,036 --> 00:00:34,497 Look at Mickey marrying some whore he knocked up. 11 00:00:34,664 --> 00:00:36,624 IAN: So is it true, you're getting married? 12 00:00:36,791 --> 00:00:38,668 You love me, and you're gay. 13 00:00:38,834 --> 00:00:41,045 Just admit it. Just this once admit it. 14 00:00:42,296 --> 00:00:45,216 CONNIE: Are you the temp? -Yeah, hi. Yes. Fiona Gallagher. 15 00:00:45,383 --> 00:00:49,011 The office bitches may have narc'd on you about the porn at your desk. 16 00:00:49,178 --> 00:00:51,138 Mr. Pratt is asking for a word with you. 17 00:00:51,305 --> 00:00:53,474 -Am I fired? -No, you're-- Ahem. 18 00:00:53,641 --> 00:00:56,143 No more naked body parts at your desk for any reason. 19 00:00:56,310 --> 00:00:58,813 -Got it. -And also, you're doing a great job. 20 00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:02,483 -Just who I was hoping to run into. -I can't see you. I'm with Mandy now. 21 00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:04,068 -Who's this? -Karen Jackson. 22 00:01:04,235 --> 00:01:06,737 -Fuck you. -Oh, you mean like all three of us? 23 00:01:06,904 --> 00:01:08,656 You want me to ask Lip next time? 24 00:01:10,074 --> 00:01:14,996 Okay, I'm sorry, Mom. It's-- It's Lip. He wants to meet at the park. 25 00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:17,039 [HORN HONKS] 26 00:01:19,709 --> 00:01:22,712 -What'd you hit? -A girl at school. 27 00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:43,918 Ah. 28 00:02:44,293 --> 00:02:46,879 How many slaves did George Washington have sex with? 29 00:02:47,046 --> 00:02:50,257 -Carl, eat. Now. -More than Lincoln, less than Jefferson. 30 00:02:50,424 --> 00:02:53,886 -Ian, that bruise is looking better. -Who beat you up again? 31 00:02:54,053 --> 00:02:56,138 No one. It's ROTC, practicing hand-to-hand. 32 00:02:56,305 --> 00:02:59,517 -Marines still fight with their fists? -In certain situations, yes. 33 00:02:59,684 --> 00:03:01,894 Then what's the point of building nukes? 34 00:03:02,061 --> 00:03:03,270 Gross national product. 35 00:03:03,437 --> 00:03:07,358 -Can I use last night's bones to make soup? -As long as they're not in the trash. 36 00:03:07,525 --> 00:03:09,985 -Lip hear anything new about Karen? -Still asleep. 37 00:03:10,152 --> 00:03:12,321 -Karen or Lip? -Both. 38 00:03:12,488 --> 00:03:16,325 Up and at them, yet again. Impressive. 39 00:03:16,492 --> 00:03:18,994 A job does that to me. You good with Liam today? 40 00:03:19,161 --> 00:03:22,456 Me and Liam are deeply bonded bros. Ha, ha. 41 00:03:22,623 --> 00:03:23,958 Hey, can I talk to you for a sec? 42 00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:27,712 -Uh, yeah, cool. Can you walk with me? -Yeah. 43 00:03:28,671 --> 00:03:31,173 -See you later. -Bye. 44 00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:34,885 -Be good for Jimmy. -Hey, thanks. 45 00:03:35,052 --> 00:03:38,806 -How about I just give you the headline? -Sure, newsboy. Headline away. 46 00:03:38,973 --> 00:03:40,641 Okay. 47 00:03:42,268 --> 00:03:45,896 -"Helping the world be a better place.” -Yeah, how's that? 48 00:03:46,063 --> 00:03:48,607 I'm thinking about going back to medical school. 49 00:03:48,774 --> 00:03:53,070 -What? - I already finished two years, one to go. 50 00:03:53,237 --> 00:03:56,365 Thinking it might be the right thing for us. Future and all. 51 00:03:56,532 --> 00:03:58,743 Isn't med school really hard? And expensive? 52 00:03:58,909 --> 00:04:01,120 But the payoff's great. Six figures. 53 00:04:01,287 --> 00:04:03,456 I'll take out loans. Doesn't work out, I'll just default. 54 00:04:03,622 --> 00:04:05,875 Heh. "Dr. Jimmy," huh? 55 00:04:06,041 --> 00:04:07,752 Just spit-balling. 56 00:04:07,918 --> 00:04:12,089 Okay. Well, I'm off to sell cups to people that use them. 57 00:04:12,256 --> 00:04:15,760 Not as exciting as medical school, but exciting nonetheless. 58 00:04:18,095 --> 00:04:19,388 [NEIGHBORS LAUGHING] 59 00:04:20,014 --> 00:04:21,724 JIMMY: Hey. 60 00:04:22,892 --> 00:04:24,935 ABRAHAM: Okay, let's get started. 61 00:04:25,102 --> 00:04:26,562 You all know why you're here. 62 00:04:26,729 --> 00:04:32,026 You've seen his story on the news, on Twitter feeds, on your Facebook walls. 63 00:04:32,193 --> 00:04:36,238 His is a tale of a lifetime in the closet... 64 00:04:36,405 --> 00:04:39,909 ...of a brave midlife embrace of his true nature... 65 00:04:40,075 --> 00:04:44,955 ...and an acknowledgment that he is a lightning rod for a vital civil rights issue. 66 00:04:45,122 --> 00:04:49,126 Ladies and gentlemen, Frank Gallagher. Frank? 67 00:04:49,293 --> 00:04:51,086 [ALL CHEERING] 68 00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,593 Um... 69 00:04:58,761 --> 00:05:02,890 We're at, uh-- We're at a crucial time in our nation's history. 70 00:05:03,057 --> 00:05:07,853 Whereas a nation will either pivot toward what's right... 71 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,483 ...or, um... 72 00:05:12,650 --> 00:05:14,318 ...stay stuck in what's wrong. 73 00:05:14,485 --> 00:05:18,239 And make no mistake, right now, it's a horrible time to be gay. 74 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:21,909 And I, like all of you, have experienced it firsthand. 75 00:05:22,076 --> 00:05:24,495 Apparently I've caused a ruckus... 76 00:05:24,662 --> 00:05:30,918 ...because I said that gay folks deserve certain civil rights. 77 00:05:31,085 --> 00:05:34,088 Rights that the breeders don't want to bestow upon me. 78 00:05:34,255 --> 00:05:35,297 [AUDIENCE LAUGHS] 79 00:05:35,464 --> 00:05:37,424 Upon we. Ha, ha. 80 00:05:37,591 --> 00:05:39,593 Those breeders, all they wanna do... 81 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:43,264 ...is stop us from having the sex that they wish they were having. 82 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:44,557 [CHUCKLES] 83 00:05:47,351 --> 00:05:50,563 If the kind of sex we're having is what offends them most... 84 00:05:50,729 --> 00:05:52,481 ...they should let us get married. 85 00:05:52,648 --> 00:05:57,069 Because anybody who's been married knows that the sex is downhill from there. 86 00:05:57,278 --> 00:06:00,364 Now, we have long-- Thank you. We have long been wronged. 87 00:06:00,531 --> 00:06:04,577 It's time for legislation that allows our private parts... 88 00:06:04,743 --> 00:06:08,956 ...10 be aroused by the people God intended to arouse them. 89 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:16,046 And-- And it's time for that arousal to happen within marriage. 90 00:06:17,172 --> 00:06:18,549 So get out your wallets... 91 00:06:18,716 --> 00:06:22,511 ...Or your man-purses, or whatever, and give now. 92 00:06:22,678 --> 00:06:27,224 Because I hope never to be up again this early... 93 00:06:27,391 --> 00:06:31,020 ...unless it's rolling over with a couple of you in bed. 94 00:06:31,186 --> 00:06:32,813 [ALL LAUGHING AND CHEERING] 95 00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:37,735 Thank you. I love you. 96 00:06:37,902 --> 00:06:42,531 Holy shit, you're good. How did you get so good? 97 00:06:42,698 --> 00:06:46,035 My whole life I've been trying to convince people to do what they don't wanna. 98 00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:49,455 The, uh-- The envelope, kind sir. Thank you, thank you. 99 00:06:49,622 --> 00:06:52,416 Now we gotta talk about upgrading my room. 100 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:57,588 You can tip the front desk with some of my recently departed hard-earned cash. 101 00:06:57,755 --> 00:07:02,384 The front desk at the Merchant Motor Inn is behind bulletproof glass. 102 00:07:02,551 --> 00:07:05,888 It's Plexiglas. You have a queen bed and premium channels. 103 00:07:06,055 --> 00:07:08,557 You saw what I did here. I'm your new rainmaker. 104 00:07:08,724 --> 00:07:13,729 I can get these rump-swappers to cough up cash night and day. 105 00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:17,775 "Rump-swappers"? There's a slur I've never heard before. 106 00:07:17,942 --> 00:07:20,235 Okay, we'll see how the high school speech goes. 107 00:07:20,402 --> 00:07:22,738 But until then, you're still on the clock... 108 00:07:22,905 --> 00:07:26,659 ...So go shake some hands, you little rump-swapper. 109 00:07:26,825 --> 00:07:29,203 You saucy tart, you. 110 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,306 [SIGHS] 111 00:07:52,518 --> 00:07:54,269 Sorry about that. 112 00:07:54,812 --> 00:07:55,938 It happens. 113 00:07:56,105 --> 00:07:58,315 Look, it's not you. I just... 114 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:03,862 I can't get Karen getting hit by that car out of my mind. 115 00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:09,076 Hey. 116 00:08:09,243 --> 00:08:12,621 -Hey, wait a minute. I can focus. -I'm late for school. 117 00:08:12,788 --> 00:08:16,083 We can give each other head in the shed behind the field at lunch. 118 00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:20,921 It is hard to turn down "head in the shed," but, uh, I might not make it there by lunch. 119 00:08:21,088 --> 00:08:24,883 Gonna stop by the hospital, I'll see if Karen's okay. 120 00:08:25,050 --> 00:08:26,635 She's in a coma. 121 00:08:26,802 --> 00:08:29,054 Oh, I know, I just... 122 00:08:29,221 --> 00:08:30,931 ...wanna show some support. 123 00:08:31,974 --> 00:08:34,727 She won't even know that you're there. 124 00:08:34,893 --> 00:08:36,937 Still, it's the right thing to do. 125 00:08:37,104 --> 00:08:38,814 You want me to come with? 126 00:08:38,981 --> 00:08:40,691 No, I'm cool. 127 00:08:48,198 --> 00:08:49,491 What's wrong? 128 00:08:50,576 --> 00:08:52,369 -Nothing. -Your brow is furrowed. 129 00:08:52,536 --> 00:08:54,038 Oh, that's its natural state. 130 00:08:54,204 --> 00:08:58,208 Actually, yeah, my boyfriend just kind of sprung some news on me as I was leaving. 131 00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:02,046 What's your guy want? Night out with the boys? New pickup truck? 132 00:09:02,713 --> 00:09:06,341 Actually, he's thinking about going back to medical school. 133 00:09:06,508 --> 00:09:07,843 Wow, you're dating a doctor? 134 00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:10,012 New K Cups came in. 135 00:09:10,179 --> 00:09:11,388 Woo-hoo! Ha, ha. 136 00:09:11,555 --> 00:09:13,515 I need me my French Vanilla Supreme. 137 00:09:13,682 --> 00:09:16,977 Hells yeah. And a Black Tiger for The Con-Woman. 138 00:09:17,144 --> 00:09:20,314 We gotta celebrate, Fiona's fiancé is gonna be a doctor. 139 00:09:20,481 --> 00:09:22,566 -He's not my fiance. -Yet. 140 00:09:22,733 --> 00:09:25,027 Ah, put your hooks in him, girl. Doctors are rich. 141 00:09:25,194 --> 00:09:27,946 All right, K Cups are in. Fantastic. 142 00:09:28,113 --> 00:09:31,116 We're celebrating Fiona's impending marriage to a doctor. 143 00:09:31,283 --> 00:09:32,826 Oh, wow, really? 144 00:09:32,993 --> 00:09:35,412 I-- No, not really. 145 00:09:36,205 --> 00:09:38,457 Well, what flavor is your K Cup poison? 146 00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:41,502 -Never had one. -What? 147 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:44,254 Let us usher you across the workplace coffee frontier. 148 00:09:44,421 --> 00:09:48,634 -She ain't gonna need a workplace. -She'll have servants bringing her coffee. 149 00:09:48,801 --> 00:09:52,054 Okay, come on now, stop. No, seriously, keep going. 150 00:09:52,221 --> 00:09:53,305 [ALL LAUGH] 151 00:09:53,472 --> 00:09:55,057 Don't do that one. 152 00:10:00,187 --> 00:10:01,730 Morning, Mandy. 153 00:10:02,189 --> 00:10:05,692 Why does Lip give a fuck whether that bitch Karen is alive or dead? 154 00:10:05,859 --> 00:10:07,569 It's a mystery. 155 00:10:13,408 --> 00:10:16,870 -What was all that about? -You, Karen, the unfathomable male soul. 156 00:10:17,037 --> 00:10:19,832 -Heh. Why aren't you in school? -Skipping. 157 00:10:19,998 --> 00:10:23,669 Debs, we need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical... 158 00:10:23,836 --> 00:10:25,420 ...and my money's been on you. 159 00:10:25,587 --> 00:10:27,631 I made soup for Sheila. 160 00:10:27,798 --> 00:10:30,884 Nice. I'm gonna drop by the hospital. I'll take it for you. 161 00:10:31,051 --> 00:10:35,180 And take the credit for doing something nice when you actually did nothing? 162 00:10:35,347 --> 00:10:39,643 To be fair, at that point, I will have carried it all the way over there. 163 00:10:39,810 --> 00:10:42,521 You're taking Mandy for granted. 164 00:10:43,605 --> 00:10:46,567 -Why, what'd she tell you? -She's kind, she's devoted. 165 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,069 She's not someone whose feelings you can ignore. 166 00:10:49,236 --> 00:10:54,074 So stop being a dope and put her feelings first every once in a while. 167 00:10:54,408 --> 00:11:00,455 School is a time to experiment with your minds and with your genitalia. 168 00:11:00,622 --> 00:11:05,169 Now, the human genitalia to me is like a homing device. 169 00:11:05,335 --> 00:11:07,921 God's compass. Huh? 170 00:11:08,088 --> 00:11:14,386 And each of us has it and it guides us to our destined homes. 171 00:11:14,553 --> 00:11:16,305 Now, our devices don't work... 172 00:11:16,471 --> 00:11:20,225 ...if we try to point them in a direction that they don't wanna go in, heh. 173 00:11:20,392 --> 00:11:22,102 He needs to tone it down, please. 174 00:11:22,269 --> 00:11:27,941 I laugh for a point, because let people chow down on the nether region of their choice. 175 00:11:28,108 --> 00:11:31,987 Male, female, consenting animals-- 176 00:11:33,864 --> 00:11:38,410 Mason Preparatory Academy, thank you so much for hearing our story. 177 00:11:38,577 --> 00:11:41,038 Thank you, you're terrific. You guys are terrific. 178 00:11:41,205 --> 00:11:43,248 -I'm sorry. -What the hell was that? 179 00:11:43,415 --> 00:11:46,293 It's the hotel. I need a mini-fridge. I need a hot plate-- 180 00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:49,671 -Um, excuse me, excuse me? - I tried to take a nap-- 181 00:11:49,838 --> 00:11:52,799 That was the most honest speech I've ever heard. 182 00:11:52,966 --> 00:11:56,637 I just texted my dad and he told me I could donate $1000 to the cause. 183 00:11:56,803 --> 00:12:00,349 -Um, who do I make the check out to? -The Certitude Commission. 184 00:12:00,515 --> 00:12:01,934 Okay. 185 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,532 Kill the Phenobarbital and paralytics. 186 00:12:20,619 --> 00:12:23,872 Excuse me? Excuse me, hi. I'm sorry, I know-- 187 00:12:24,039 --> 00:12:28,252 Good morning. I know you're really busy, but what--? What are you killing? 188 00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:32,464 The swelling appears to have gone down. I'm killing the meds that induce the coma. 189 00:12:32,631 --> 00:12:34,424 Oh, okay. Excuse me. I'm sorry. 190 00:12:34,591 --> 00:12:37,344 -What does that mean? -I'm removing some of her meds. 191 00:12:37,511 --> 00:12:40,097 -Okay. I'm sorry-- JODY: Hey. 192 00:12:41,098 --> 00:12:42,307 Yes? 193 00:12:42,474 --> 00:12:45,018 I'm a nice guy. Patient, not usually a violent dude. 194 00:12:45,185 --> 00:12:49,940 If you try to leave without telling us what's going on in words we can understand... 195 00:12:50,107 --> 00:12:54,361 ...I will lift your tiny body over my head and throw you out the window. 196 00:12:56,321 --> 00:12:58,824 Your wife has sustained serious trauma to her brain. 197 00:12:58,991 --> 00:13:03,829 You said that you're removing the meds that induced the coma. 198 00:13:03,996 --> 00:13:06,331 Does that mean she's gonna wake up soon? 199 00:13:06,498 --> 00:13:08,667 -One possibility. -What are the others? 200 00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:11,920 That she won't wake up soon. Or that she won't wake up ever. 201 00:13:12,087 --> 00:13:14,673 But if she does wake up, will she be okay? 202 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,509 We won't know how much damage there is until she wakes. 203 00:13:17,676 --> 00:13:22,514 Well, can we help her wake up? Can she hear us in there? 204 00:13:22,681 --> 00:13:27,269 Nobody knows. And I don't want to get myself thrown out the window. 205 00:13:28,812 --> 00:13:32,899 Sweetie, time to wake up. 206 00:13:34,401 --> 00:13:39,948 Bacon, lettuce and tomato, on white. Just like your other favorite meat. 207 00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:46,246 -Nothing? Been brewing that line for weeks. -Mom's period day is tomorrow. 208 00:13:46,413 --> 00:13:47,622 -Oh. -You didn't know that? 209 00:13:47,789 --> 00:13:50,042 Come on, I only got so much in the hard drive. 210 00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:53,337 Remembering your mom's menstrual cycle is not a top priority. 211 00:13:53,503 --> 00:13:55,922 -Want me to go get a pee stick? -Honestly? 212 00:13:56,089 --> 00:13:59,176 No, no, lie to me. I hear it make marriages thrive. 213 00:13:59,885 --> 00:14:01,303 Eat. 214 00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:06,224 I'll get a pee stick. We'll call your mom, and we'll watch her take a piss. 215 00:14:06,391 --> 00:14:08,852 It'll be fun. 216 00:14:10,562 --> 00:14:13,065 Mickey getting married, does that make sense to you? 217 00:14:13,231 --> 00:14:14,691 What sense needs to be made? 218 00:14:14,858 --> 00:14:17,402 Someone's pregnant, someone got them pregnant... 219 00:14:17,569 --> 00:14:21,114 ...and that's why marriage was invented. 220 00:14:22,532 --> 00:14:23,992 They been going out long? 221 00:14:24,159 --> 00:14:27,537 Who knows, I wasn't in on the courting, or the fucking. 222 00:14:28,372 --> 00:14:31,166 -So where'd they meet? -She works at Garden Springs Spa. 223 00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:34,086 If you call jerking off random dudes working. 224 00:14:34,252 --> 00:14:35,462 She pretty? 225 00:14:35,629 --> 00:14:40,634 Oh, on the dead-eyed Russian hand-whore scale, I'd say she'd rate about a seven. 226 00:14:42,302 --> 00:14:44,012 [LIAM BABBLING] 227 00:14:47,724 --> 00:14:50,727 -You have Sweet'N Low? -I do not. 228 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:56,191 It's okay, I always keep some in my wallet. Just have to replace this one. 229 00:14:56,942 --> 00:15:00,278 I feel so honored to be invited to your mistress' porch. 230 00:15:00,445 --> 00:15:02,656 When will you invite me inside for scones? 231 00:15:02,823 --> 00:15:06,410 Uh, no time soon. I'm thinking about taking a little vacation to Michigan. 232 00:15:06,576 --> 00:15:08,870 I hope not to commandeer a shipment of cars. 233 00:15:09,037 --> 00:15:11,540 I'm thinking of going back to medical school. 234 00:15:11,706 --> 00:15:13,125 Heh. In Michigan? 235 00:15:13,291 --> 00:15:16,962 Hey, I quit before I could finish, and I only have a couple semesters left. 236 00:15:17,129 --> 00:15:19,005 So not a vacation? 237 00:15:20,132 --> 00:15:23,510 -Not exactly, no. -Why the step-stutter? Why not tell me? 238 00:15:23,677 --> 00:15:26,638 It's "stutter-step,"” okay? I was testing the waters first. 239 00:15:26,805 --> 00:15:31,143 It's good for me and for you. Out of trouble, keeping my nose clean. 240 00:15:31,309 --> 00:15:34,229 -In Michigan? -Yes. 241 00:15:34,396 --> 00:15:38,942 I mean, we can go up there, drive around. Great food. Excellent cheese. Truth. 242 00:15:39,109 --> 00:15:41,236 -Good luck convincing her to move. -Fiona? 243 00:15:41,403 --> 00:15:42,988 ESTEFANIA. Your wife. 244 00:15:44,698 --> 00:15:45,907 [SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 245 00:15:49,536 --> 00:15:51,121 But if I do, you're on board? 246 00:15:51,288 --> 00:15:53,832 -Why is it you think I am in charge, huh? -Charge. 247 00:15:53,999 --> 00:15:56,168 I am not the one who is in charge. Are you? 248 00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:58,628 -You're in charge. Heh. -Charge. 249 00:15:58,795 --> 00:16:02,507 I go where I'm supposed to go and do what I'm supposed to do. 250 00:16:02,674 --> 00:16:05,594 Okay, if I do those things, I stay out of trouble. 251 00:16:09,264 --> 00:16:11,349 I suggest you do the same. 252 00:16:15,896 --> 00:16:18,023 [MACHINES BEEPING AND HISSING] 253 00:16:24,988 --> 00:16:26,448 SHEILA: Hey. 254 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,535 Hi. 255 00:16:39,336 --> 00:16:40,754 DEBBIE: Chicken soup. 256 00:16:40,921 --> 00:16:43,215 SHEILA: Oh. 257 00:16:43,381 --> 00:16:44,633 Oh. 258 00:17:07,906 --> 00:17:10,784 Hey, Busy Beaver. You know the phrase "speed kills"? 259 00:17:10,951 --> 00:17:13,161 -It's true. -Trying to get through this stack. 260 00:17:13,328 --> 00:17:16,540 -Another stack just replaces this stack. -Where's the next stack? 261 00:17:16,706 --> 00:17:18,792 Embrace the science of slow. 262 00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:21,670 Should have thought of that before you made me mainline K Cups. 263 00:17:21,836 --> 00:17:24,673 Got a Jet Fuel, two Black Tigers and a Butter Toffee in me. 264 00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:26,591 I feel like I did an eight ball. 265 00:17:26,758 --> 00:17:30,804 Don't raise the level of expectation for when Maria comes back from sick leave. 266 00:17:30,971 --> 00:17:32,472 Science of slow. 267 00:17:32,639 --> 00:17:35,433 -I'm gonna grab some lunch. Wanna join? -Brown-bagging it. 268 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:39,521 My treat. You'll pay me back when your doctor man starts his own practice. 269 00:17:39,688 --> 00:17:42,399 -Come on, come on. -Okay. 270 00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:45,944 Hey, if it isn't Liberace. 271 00:17:46,111 --> 00:17:47,153 [ALL LAUGH] 272 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,530 Liberace was rich. 273 00:17:48,697 --> 00:17:50,448 Go ahead, go ahead and mock... 274 00:17:50,615 --> 00:17:54,619 ...but I have found a constituency willing to reward me for my talents. 275 00:17:54,786 --> 00:17:55,996 Larceny and vomiting? 276 00:17:56,162 --> 00:18:00,041 Oratory. I'll have a Maker's Mark. Make it the-- Oh, come on. 277 00:18:00,208 --> 00:18:04,170 You haven't paid your tab in months, Frank. Oh! Good for you. 278 00:18:04,337 --> 00:18:06,464 -Let me give you some change. -Five bucks? 279 00:18:06,631 --> 00:18:08,550 You're lucky we don't charge interest. 280 00:18:08,717 --> 00:18:11,678 -Haven't seen you this cleaned up in ages. -Uh, Christmas 2008. 281 00:18:11,845 --> 00:18:13,638 Your mom made dinner for you and me. 282 00:18:13,805 --> 00:18:16,224 Then she went away and you and I made a videotape. 283 00:18:16,391 --> 00:18:18,935 You remember that? You still have it? That was hot. 284 00:18:19,102 --> 00:18:22,981 I went six or seven rounds. That's close to my personal best. 285 00:18:23,148 --> 00:18:24,316 Frank Gallagher? 286 00:18:24,983 --> 00:18:27,652 Uh, never heard of him. 287 00:18:27,819 --> 00:18:32,365 Allow me to introduce myself. Alistair Huddleston. Can I buy you a drink? 288 00:18:33,366 --> 00:18:34,659 Make it two. 289 00:18:51,968 --> 00:18:54,846 -To men. - I work for Return to Paradise Project. 290 00:18:55,013 --> 00:18:58,558 We're a transformational ministry, specializing in conversion therapy. 291 00:18:58,725 --> 00:19:02,062 We return homosexuals to healthy heterosexual lifestyles. 292 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:03,480 Why would you go do that? 293 00:19:03,647 --> 00:19:06,066 We believe that homosexuality is curable. 294 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:09,819 Though some find pleasure in it, homosexuality is an addiction. 295 00:19:09,986 --> 00:19:13,281 -An addiction that tears families apart. - I have a gay son. 296 00:19:13,448 --> 00:19:16,910 Never worry about him impregnating some skanky neighborhood slut... 297 00:19:17,077 --> 00:19:19,704 ...and bringing home her unplanned-for half-breed. 298 00:19:19,871 --> 00:19:22,248 I wish I'd known I was gay back then. 299 00:19:22,415 --> 00:19:25,877 I could've risen high in any one of the many fields dominated by gays. 300 00:19:26,044 --> 00:19:30,382 Entertainment. Politics. Broadcasting. Tennis. 301 00:19:30,548 --> 00:19:33,051 You're working for Abraham Paige's agenda? 302 00:19:33,218 --> 00:19:35,887 I am cleaning up. Helping the oppressed. 303 00:19:36,054 --> 00:19:39,474 They're addicted, not oppressed. And we can pay you more. 304 00:19:41,601 --> 00:19:43,853 -How much more? -Stipend, room, board. 305 00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:47,148 And substantial speaking fees upon completion of therapy. 306 00:19:47,315 --> 00:19:49,359 Whoa, ha, ha. I draw the line at therapy. 307 00:19:49,526 --> 00:19:54,072 Frank, without the therapy, there's no cure. I want to be able to say we cured you. 308 00:19:55,824 --> 00:19:58,868 Gay is who I am now. Gay is who I shall be. 309 00:19:59,035 --> 00:20:02,163 Frank, you once walked the true path of heterosexual love. 310 00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:05,125 If I were to redirect you back onto that path... 311 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:07,794 ...you'll be a more compelling speaker for our cause. 312 00:20:07,961 --> 00:20:11,423 You'll have been singed by the fires of hell, but lived to tell. 313 00:20:11,589 --> 00:20:13,633 Our therapy works. 314 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:18,012 It starts with aversion techniques, conditioning you to avoid gay-sex triggers. 315 00:20:18,179 --> 00:20:22,183 Clinical fornication would start once you've practiced some of those techniques. 316 00:20:22,350 --> 00:20:25,019 Sorry, uh, "clinical fornication"? 317 00:20:25,186 --> 00:20:27,272 We house you in the Delacroix Hotel... 318 00:20:27,439 --> 00:20:31,067 ...and deliver women to you to have sex with until you're cured. 319 00:20:32,944 --> 00:20:35,280 Uh, I'm sorry, I interrupted you. 320 00:20:35,447 --> 00:20:38,616 We feel this is a lesser sin than sodomy. 321 00:20:39,117 --> 00:20:41,161 I grant that this seems unconventional... 322 00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:44,289 ...but new ideas are necessary to counter unwavering plagues. 323 00:20:44,456 --> 00:20:46,791 We're paving a road back to God... 324 00:20:46,958 --> 00:20:50,503 ...and the devil has erected obstacles that call for rule-bending... 325 00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:53,006 ...in service of a greater good. 326 00:20:54,841 --> 00:20:57,802 Throw in some walking around money and I'll give it a shot. 327 00:21:25,455 --> 00:21:27,582 That whore that Mickey's marrying... 328 00:21:27,749 --> 00:21:31,503 ...Is an actual whore that works at Garden Springs Spa. 329 00:21:32,796 --> 00:21:34,589 Family discounts on Handy J's. 330 00:21:34,756 --> 00:21:38,468 Terry made Mickey fuck her to fuck the gay out of him. 331 00:21:38,635 --> 00:21:41,387 -What? When? -After he caught us together. 332 00:21:41,554 --> 00:21:43,765 Dude, how did I not know this shit? 333 00:21:43,932 --> 00:21:45,391 I didn't tell you. 334 00:21:45,934 --> 00:21:47,227 Well, did it work? 335 00:21:51,815 --> 00:21:53,691 I mean, he might have... 336 00:21:53,858 --> 00:21:57,946 ...faked it once or twice, but he wants to be with me. 337 00:22:00,782 --> 00:22:03,284 I know what he felt with me. 338 00:22:04,702 --> 00:22:06,704 You can't fake that. 339 00:22:08,289 --> 00:22:11,626 And now this chick is pregnant. 340 00:22:19,717 --> 00:22:23,346 Ian. My brother. 341 00:22:23,513 --> 00:22:29,018 You need to get out there and fuck someone new, okay? 342 00:22:29,185 --> 00:22:34,107 And someone in his early 20s, not some old dude like Kash or Ned. 343 00:22:34,274 --> 00:22:35,650 [CHUCKLING] Fuck you. 344 00:22:35,817 --> 00:22:38,736 All right, seriously. Go into a gay bar... 345 00:22:38,903 --> 00:22:41,281 ...make your need known... 346 00:22:41,948 --> 00:22:43,575 ...and have at it. 347 00:22:49,789 --> 00:22:52,292 Mandy's upset you're upset about Karen. 348 00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:56,212 -How many people is Mandy talking to? -She cares about you. 349 00:22:56,379 --> 00:23:01,634 Why? I don't know. You can be a real shithead. 350 00:23:02,886 --> 00:23:04,512 LIP: Hmm. 351 00:23:06,514 --> 00:23:10,727 How did we get this mixed up with two people from the Milkovich family? 352 00:23:10,894 --> 00:23:12,353 Um... 353 00:23:12,979 --> 00:23:14,647 Bad parenting. 354 00:23:15,398 --> 00:23:16,941 Yeah. 355 00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:38,004 Prime rib for two? 356 00:23:38,171 --> 00:23:41,674 Right there. Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah. 357 00:23:41,841 --> 00:23:43,051 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 358 00:23:43,217 --> 00:23:45,178 And here you go. 359 00:23:45,345 --> 00:23:49,140 And here you go. 360 00:23:49,307 --> 00:23:53,519 Mr. Gallagher, please excuse my informality, but I saw you on TV. 361 00:23:53,686 --> 00:23:56,648 And on behalf of the entire gay community... 362 00:23:56,814 --> 00:23:59,734 ...I wanna thank you for putting yourself in the crosshairs of this issue. 363 00:23:59,901 --> 00:24:02,278 I mean, it's courageous and inspiring. 364 00:24:02,445 --> 00:24:06,908 Whatever you need while you're here, please do not hesitate to ask. 365 00:24:07,075 --> 00:24:08,576 -Ketchup. -What? 366 00:24:08,743 --> 00:24:13,373 -Ketchup. -Oh, absolutely. Yes. Um... 367 00:24:14,123 --> 00:24:15,208 My name is Jesus. 368 00:24:15,375 --> 00:24:18,294 Do you need me to sign you up for any spa treatments or...? 369 00:24:18,461 --> 00:24:20,380 Well, I'm wide open tomorrow. 370 00:24:20,546 --> 00:24:23,883 Chockablock me some massages from sunup to sundown. 371 00:24:24,050 --> 00:24:25,176 Throw in a facial. 372 00:24:25,343 --> 00:24:26,552 Okay, will do. 373 00:24:27,637 --> 00:24:29,597 Ketchup? 374 00:24:29,764 --> 00:24:31,057 Oh, right. 375 00:24:31,224 --> 00:24:34,936 Is it possible that my teeth will spontaneously straighten on their own? 376 00:24:35,103 --> 00:24:38,815 Uh, Jimmy's going back to medical school. We can ask him to help. 377 00:24:38,982 --> 00:24:41,442 -I need alcohol. -Is your mom not pregnant again? 378 00:24:41,609 --> 00:24:45,488 Can't find her. Went to her house, her work. She's avoiding me. 379 00:24:45,655 --> 00:24:47,615 -Must be bad news. -Well, think positive. 380 00:24:47,782 --> 00:24:49,659 I've done that for the past two months. 381 00:24:49,826 --> 00:24:52,078 Every time she pees on the stick it's bad news. 382 00:24:52,245 --> 00:24:55,456 Then I get depressed thinking about my husband banging my mom... 383 00:24:55,623 --> 00:24:58,835 ...because we selfishly want to have a baby with some of our DNA. 384 00:24:59,002 --> 00:25:03,131 Maybe my mom can't get pregnant anymore and we've crossed this line for no reason. 385 00:25:03,297 --> 00:25:06,050 Every time I'm reminded it's not me banging my husband. 386 00:25:06,259 --> 00:25:09,262 It's not me peeing on a stick or that gets to have the baby. 387 00:25:09,470 --> 00:25:12,098 4. Your mom wouldn't do this if it wasn't for you. 388 00:25:12,306 --> 00:25:16,561 Kev's only doing this because he loves you. There'd be no baby without you. 389 00:25:16,769 --> 00:25:19,313 They all love you so much. This is all about you. 390 00:25:20,523 --> 00:25:22,734 So you're gonna get some wine, get the stick... 391 00:25:22,942 --> 00:25:26,529 ...get your mom in the bathroom, and if you get bad news... 392 00:25:26,738 --> 00:25:30,158 ...get drunk. And we'll figure out what comes next. 393 00:25:31,159 --> 00:25:32,994 Who needs root beer float coffee? 394 00:25:33,202 --> 00:25:34,454 All of us. 395 00:25:37,957 --> 00:25:39,042 I love you. 396 00:25:39,250 --> 00:25:41,753 -Call me with the news. -Thank you. 397 00:25:41,961 --> 00:25:43,963 Debs, Carl, bedtime. 398 00:25:44,213 --> 00:25:45,423 See these? 399 00:25:45,923 --> 00:25:48,176 Can you buy me braces like you paid for Carl's? 400 00:25:48,384 --> 00:25:50,762 Debbie, they don't look so bad. 401 00:25:50,970 --> 00:25:54,891 Shut up. Yeah, "not that bad" means one going this way and one going that way. 402 00:25:55,141 --> 00:25:56,392 They add character. 403 00:25:56,601 --> 00:25:59,979 Red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. I don't need more character. 404 00:26:00,188 --> 00:26:04,150 Things are a little tight right now. I'll make it happen. Soon. Promise. Okay? 405 00:26:07,528 --> 00:26:09,072 So... 406 00:26:12,158 --> 00:26:13,493 Medical school, huh? 407 00:26:16,079 --> 00:26:21,918 I put in a ton of work and I just got thinking I should go back and finish what I started. 408 00:26:24,003 --> 00:26:26,214 - I think it's great. -Really? 409 00:26:26,506 --> 00:26:31,010 Yeah. You're smart. You care about people. 410 00:26:32,053 --> 00:26:38,142 You're a good person. Getting Carl braces, Debbie braces. Taking care of Liam. 411 00:26:38,351 --> 00:26:40,895 JIMMY: Mm. Mm. 412 00:26:41,062 --> 00:26:44,273 Look how much you care for all of us, without getting much in return. 413 00:26:44,482 --> 00:26:46,901 JIMMY: Hey, I get plenty in return. 414 00:26:47,819 --> 00:26:49,153 I'm behind you all the way. 415 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:50,363 -Really? -Mm-hm. 416 00:26:50,530 --> 00:26:52,824 Because I'm gonna need it. Plenty of work, plenty of hours. 417 00:26:52,990 --> 00:26:54,575 So where would you go? 418 00:26:54,784 --> 00:26:57,370 University of Chicago? Northwestern? 419 00:26:58,746 --> 00:27:02,375 Northwestern could work. Just gotta check into it. 420 00:27:03,417 --> 00:27:04,544 Plenty of options. 421 00:27:04,794 --> 00:27:07,797 Doctor Jimmy, that'd be something, huh? 422 00:27:07,964 --> 00:27:09,006 [LIAM BABBLES] 423 00:27:09,173 --> 00:27:10,508 Heh. Doctor. 424 00:27:12,593 --> 00:27:14,053 Hmm. 425 00:27:15,263 --> 00:27:17,473 [CELL PHONE RINGING] [KNOCK ON DOOR] 426 00:27:24,063 --> 00:27:26,566 Hey. How's your room, Frank? 427 00:27:26,774 --> 00:27:28,359 Amenities need to be amended. 428 00:27:28,568 --> 00:27:31,487 Mini-bottles are too mini. Need to get the big boys here. 429 00:27:31,696 --> 00:27:36,784 Will do. I've brought some media that needs to be viewed before we begin conversion. 430 00:27:36,993 --> 00:27:40,621 Okey-do key. I'll get started on this one, pronto. 431 00:27:41,873 --> 00:27:43,624 You have, uh, been married before? 432 00:27:43,875 --> 00:27:46,919 Still am, but she never really floated my boat. 433 00:27:47,170 --> 00:27:52,300 I did my husbandry duty to keep her happy but it was always without pleasure or joy. 434 00:27:52,466 --> 00:27:53,509 [WOMAN MOANING ON TV] 435 00:27:53,676 --> 00:27:54,969 -Kids. -A few. 436 00:27:55,178 --> 00:27:58,639 So you have committed the loving act of heterosexual copulation? 437 00:27:58,848 --> 00:28:03,269 It was always under the influence, frankly. Had to, to get the plumbing to work. 438 00:28:03,519 --> 00:28:04,770 You just got sidetracked. 439 00:28:04,979 --> 00:28:10,151 With your history of female contact, we can begin clinical fornication stage immediately. 440 00:28:10,443 --> 00:28:14,697 I doubt it'll work, but I'll give it my best efforts if you think it might help. 441 00:28:19,577 --> 00:28:21,287 Hello, cuppers! 442 00:28:21,454 --> 00:28:23,289 [ALL CHEERING] 443 00:28:23,456 --> 00:28:27,168 My great-great-grandfather fought in the War Between the States. 444 00:28:27,418 --> 00:28:30,379 He came back from that war with one goal in mind. 445 00:28:30,588 --> 00:28:34,050 To invent a disposable cup so he wouldn't have to wash... 446 00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:37,970 ALL [IN UNISON]: The same stupid cup every doggone time. 447 00:28:38,179 --> 00:28:40,348 Good news. We have received approval... 448 00:28:40,556 --> 00:28:41,933 Fiona, you play softball? 449 00:28:42,141 --> 00:28:43,976 -Uh, no. -Never? 450 00:28:44,143 --> 00:28:46,020 Shh. Uncle Matt's talking. 451 00:28:46,229 --> 00:28:49,607 Nice job, Vinny Pitaro. All right, Vinny. 452 00:28:49,857 --> 00:28:51,150 There he is. Ha, ha. 453 00:28:51,359 --> 00:28:55,488 So we have a team called the cuppers. I need you on the squad for tonight's game. 454 00:28:55,738 --> 00:28:57,573 -Really, I'm terrible. -Oh. 455 00:28:57,823 --> 00:29:00,826 [IN BRITISH ACCENT] 'Twas back before the millennium when I last donned me cleats. 456 00:29:01,077 --> 00:29:04,580 -What accent is that? -Bad British, I think. Ahem. Yeah. Heh. 457 00:29:04,789 --> 00:29:07,208 MATT: ...thousands of cups at many a tailgate. 458 00:29:07,416 --> 00:29:08,918 Go get them, cuppers! 459 00:29:09,210 --> 00:29:12,380 The league's co-ed. We need more ladies or we're going to forfeit. 460 00:29:12,922 --> 00:29:17,176 All right, I get it. You're a doctor's wife. You gotta keep up appearances. 461 00:29:17,385 --> 00:29:19,053 Can't have fun or a life. 462 00:29:19,262 --> 00:29:24,642 Okay, fine. Text me where the field is and if I feel like blowing out a knee, I'll be there. 463 00:29:24,892 --> 00:29:28,396 All right. You're not gonna want to miss it. We pop a pony keg of Bud after. 464 00:29:29,230 --> 00:29:31,857 -Just saying. -Just saying. 465 00:29:32,275 --> 00:29:35,903 Excuse me, do you know where I might be able to find Frank Gallagher? 466 00:29:36,112 --> 00:29:38,364 Best bet, nearest jail or gutter. 467 00:29:38,531 --> 00:29:39,699 [LAUGHS] 468 00:29:40,449 --> 00:29:45,288 Would you tell him Abraham is looking for him and he can reach me at that number? 469 00:29:45,830 --> 00:29:49,041 Uh, I remember best when I'm tipped to do so. 470 00:29:54,338 --> 00:29:58,968 Mr. Abraham, I will see to it that he gets your message. 471 00:29:59,468 --> 00:30:00,928 Thank you. 472 00:30:08,853 --> 00:30:11,480 -Frank, this is Scotty. -Hi, Frank. 473 00:30:12,606 --> 00:30:15,109 Can you excuse us just one second? 474 00:30:16,777 --> 00:30:21,073 I'm not going to stop fucking men to start fucking women who look like men. 475 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,534 This is a ministry, not a brothel. 476 00:30:23,784 --> 00:30:28,122 The volunteers who are ready are teamed with others who are ready. 477 00:30:28,372 --> 00:30:30,666 Thanks for being here and doing this with me. 478 00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:33,836 Scotty's been with us for six months of hard, devoted work... 479 00:30:34,045 --> 00:30:37,131 ...trying to overcome her lesbian tendencies. Help each other. 480 00:30:37,381 --> 00:30:40,051 Been a long road. But I want to be right with God. 481 00:30:40,259 --> 00:30:42,011 As does Frank. Don't you, Frank? 482 00:30:42,470 --> 00:30:44,930 It's always good to have God in your corner. 483 00:30:45,139 --> 00:30:48,517 The goal of this stage is to stimulate one another... 484 00:30:48,684 --> 00:30:52,605 ...and to see if stimulation can lead to copulation and orgasm. 485 00:30:52,813 --> 00:30:55,316 Okay, uh, you're anxious to go. 486 00:30:55,524 --> 00:30:58,235 I'm going to slip out before you slip off anything else. 487 00:30:58,486 --> 00:30:59,820 Is this really happening? 488 00:31:00,029 --> 00:31:04,700 God willing. Last time Alistair brought a man in, he left in tears after I got undressed. 489 00:31:04,909 --> 00:31:06,410 Last time I shave everything. 490 00:31:07,495 --> 00:31:10,998 Scotty has been taking birth control, but as a precaution against STDs... 491 00:31:11,248 --> 00:31:14,668 ...please use the condoms I've provided for you in the bathroom. 492 00:31:14,877 --> 00:31:18,714 Be like Adam and Eve, discovering one another the first time in the Garden of Eden. 493 00:31:18,881 --> 00:31:23,969 Naked, discovering, bringing to each other the pleasure God intended for them. 494 00:31:24,178 --> 00:31:29,975 No shame, no guilt, no knowledge of things that distract us from God's love. 495 00:31:31,060 --> 00:31:32,478 Oh. 496 00:31:33,229 --> 00:31:36,649 [MARVIN GAYE'S "SEXUAL HEALING" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 497 00:31:37,983 --> 00:31:40,194 [DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES] 498 00:31:48,994 --> 00:31:51,997 Well, I must say, you have amazing cans. 499 00:31:52,164 --> 00:31:53,791 -Shawna used to say that. -Shawna? 500 00:31:54,041 --> 00:31:58,170 Someone I'm trying to forget. Will you please help me forget her? 501 00:32:07,346 --> 00:32:09,640 Well, hello down there. 502 00:32:09,890 --> 00:32:11,767 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 503 00:32:11,934 --> 00:32:16,856 -God wants this for us. -You know what? Maybe he's right. 504 00:32:17,064 --> 00:32:22,153 If you were supposed to be a lesbian and I was supposed to be gay, he'd be limp. 505 00:32:22,445 --> 00:32:24,947 And look, my loaf of bread riseth. 506 00:32:25,156 --> 00:32:27,867 -Ever felt one of those before? -Never one this old. 507 00:32:28,033 --> 00:32:29,618 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 508 00:32:29,785 --> 00:32:34,457 Thanks. Heh. It's like a hickory tree. Gets stronger each year. 509 00:32:37,585 --> 00:32:39,086 [FRANK YELLS] 510 00:32:48,220 --> 00:32:49,972 -Hey. -Hey. 511 00:32:50,514 --> 00:32:53,017 -You okay? -Yeah. 512 00:32:53,225 --> 00:32:55,728 -You weren't at school today. -Uh, no, I didn't make it. 513 00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:58,856 Karen? 514 00:33:01,317 --> 00:33:03,360 She's in pretty bad shape. 515 00:33:04,445 --> 00:33:06,280 You going over there later tonight? 516 00:33:06,697 --> 00:33:08,032 Uh... 517 00:33:09,074 --> 00:33:12,119 I don't know. Not really sure. 518 00:33:13,871 --> 00:33:15,748 You want me to come over later? 519 00:33:17,541 --> 00:33:18,959 I missed you last night. 520 00:33:19,877 --> 00:33:21,295 Sure. 521 00:33:24,131 --> 00:33:26,133 Yes. Please. 522 00:33:29,929 --> 00:33:31,388 Okay. See you later. 523 00:33:32,515 --> 00:33:33,724 Okay. 524 00:33:41,106 --> 00:33:42,983 -How's it going up there? -Fine. 525 00:33:43,192 --> 00:33:46,654 Because I haven't seen your face for a while and you're not saying much. 526 00:33:46,862 --> 00:33:49,782 -It's fine. -Well, I got an appointment I've got to make. 527 00:33:50,032 --> 00:33:52,618 So, what can we do to get you where you need to be? 528 00:33:52,868 --> 00:33:53,994 Trying. 529 00:33:54,203 --> 00:33:56,413 Is there anything I can do to hurry it up? 530 00:33:56,622 --> 00:33:58,207 Not sure. 531 00:33:58,415 --> 00:34:04,296 What if you were to imagine that I'm Angelina Jolie? 532 00:34:06,924 --> 00:34:10,427 -Because, you know, I've got people that-- -Shut up please, Angie. 533 00:34:10,636 --> 00:34:13,806 BOTH [SINGING]: I just want someone 534 00:34:13,973 --> 00:34:16,392 That I can talk to 535 00:34:16,725 --> 00:34:21,438 I want you just the way you are 536 00:34:21,605 --> 00:34:26,652 I need to know that you will always be 537 00:34:26,819 --> 00:34:28,862 She hates that song. 538 00:34:31,073 --> 00:34:32,116 [CHUCKLES] 539 00:34:32,283 --> 00:34:37,454 I'm sorry. I'm really... Look, I know you're here all day. 540 00:34:37,663 --> 00:34:39,748 And you're just trying to wake her up. 541 00:34:39,957 --> 00:34:44,044 I just think, if you want to wake her up, do shit she likes, not shit she hates. 542 00:34:44,336 --> 00:34:45,713 She hates that. 543 00:34:45,963 --> 00:34:47,756 What do you think she would like? 544 00:34:48,090 --> 00:34:51,635 I don't know. Uh, something else. 545 00:34:53,053 --> 00:34:54,513 I'm gonna go get some coffee. 546 00:34:54,722 --> 00:34:58,434 -No, Jody, look, I didn't mean to-- -No. You're right. 547 00:34:59,727 --> 00:35:01,270 You've been a good friend to her. 548 00:35:07,359 --> 00:35:08,527 [LIP SIGHS] 549 00:35:10,779 --> 00:35:12,281 Any progress at all? 550 00:35:12,489 --> 00:35:18,287 Well, she flicks her toes sometimes. The doctor thinks it could just be reflexes. 551 00:35:18,871 --> 00:35:20,414 Right. 552 00:35:22,416 --> 00:35:23,500 I'm sorry. 553 00:35:23,709 --> 00:35:28,547 Don't be sorry. I've often thought Jody's musical repertoire could use updating. 554 00:35:28,756 --> 00:35:34,386 No, I'm sorry I, uh, wasn't very nice to Karen. 555 00:35:34,845 --> 00:35:36,680 The last time I saw her. 556 00:35:38,057 --> 00:35:42,561 Actually, I, uh, kind of ended it. 557 00:35:42,936 --> 00:35:45,773 And, uh, I didn't do it very well. 558 00:35:47,316 --> 00:35:49,485 I don't want that to be the last she heard from me. 559 00:35:49,860 --> 00:35:51,070 It won't be. 560 00:35:53,530 --> 00:35:55,824 We're thinking positive. 561 00:35:56,075 --> 00:35:59,703 It makes a difference. She's gonna wake up. 562 00:36:01,497 --> 00:36:03,999 And you didn't make her sad, Lip. 563 00:36:04,249 --> 00:36:06,585 She was so happy when she got that text from you. 564 00:36:06,794 --> 00:36:11,465 She knew you were texting to make up. You should've seen her light up. 565 00:36:11,882 --> 00:36:13,050 Text? 566 00:36:13,258 --> 00:36:15,928 The night of the accident when she came to meet you. 567 00:36:16,345 --> 00:36:22,851 I honestly think that she was so excited she just forgot to look both ways. 568 00:36:23,143 --> 00:36:24,937 Do you have Karen's phone here? 569 00:36:25,312 --> 00:36:26,814 Um... 570 00:36:27,898 --> 00:36:33,445 It could be with her things. I think, um... 571 00:36:58,637 --> 00:37:00,639 [ALL LAUGHING] 572 00:37:02,725 --> 00:37:05,060 [UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 573 00:37:10,524 --> 00:37:13,026 That's enough, girls. Walk away, Rene. 574 00:37:13,902 --> 00:37:15,612 Walk away. 575 00:37:16,363 --> 00:37:20,576 -I've been looking all over for you. -Cell phone died. Didn't leave me a charger. 576 00:37:20,784 --> 00:37:22,077 How'd you find me? 577 00:37:22,286 --> 00:37:26,165 I know people, Frank. I put the word out, they call. 578 00:37:26,707 --> 00:37:31,086 I got you a better hotel. This is for the Embassy Suites. North State Street. 579 00:37:31,628 --> 00:37:37,968 Finish your drink, head over, get dressed. There's clean polos and khakis in the closet. 580 00:37:38,218 --> 00:37:41,513 Your next gig is at the Oscar Wilde Bookstore. Tonight. 581 00:37:41,764 --> 00:37:43,098 -Okay. -Look sharp. 582 00:37:48,270 --> 00:37:50,147 Hey, I've been trying to find you. 583 00:37:50,355 --> 00:37:52,483 -I've been avoiding you finding me. -Momma. 584 00:37:52,733 --> 00:37:56,278 I'm not feeling well. And when I don't feel well, it's usually bad news. 585 00:37:56,487 --> 00:37:58,280 No, it could be good news. 586 00:37:58,489 --> 00:38:01,909 Last two times you felt fine and it was bad, maybe this time it's good. 587 00:38:02,159 --> 00:38:03,702 No, I don't think so. 588 00:38:04,036 --> 00:38:10,834 Momma, I really appreciate all you've done and continue to do for me. 589 00:38:12,211 --> 00:38:13,670 Ugh, give me the stick. 590 00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:18,008 -Can I go with you this time? -No. 591 00:38:18,217 --> 00:38:21,303 Bathrooms have doors. I'll do the whizzing, you do the waiting. 592 00:38:21,512 --> 00:38:22,888 Keep your hopes in check. 593 00:38:24,431 --> 00:38:27,935 Everyone grab your jackets. Might be cold. I don't want to wait for you. 594 00:38:29,019 --> 00:38:30,854 JIMMY: Hey. FIONA: Hey. 595 00:38:31,146 --> 00:38:34,107 Hungry? Spaghetti and bread. I made them leave you some. 596 00:38:34,316 --> 00:38:36,443 Sure, thanks. How was work? 597 00:38:36,693 --> 00:38:41,406 Good. Great actually. I, uh, got invited to play softball tonight. 598 00:38:41,573 --> 00:38:43,492 Heh. Do you even own a glove? 599 00:38:43,909 --> 00:38:46,745 It's Chicago-style softball. You don't need a glove. 600 00:38:46,954 --> 00:38:49,331 -Look at you, trying to fit in. -Hmm. 601 00:38:49,498 --> 00:38:51,583 I'm hoping they keep me around for a while. 602 00:38:51,875 --> 00:38:55,504 Come with? Should be fun. We can grab a drink after, you can meet everyone. 603 00:38:55,754 --> 00:38:56,797 Cool. 604 00:38:57,005 --> 00:39:00,801 Hey, I may have to spend some more time in, uh, Michigan. 605 00:39:03,554 --> 00:39:05,931 -What? -Med school. Admissions called. 606 00:39:06,139 --> 00:39:09,434 Said I have to finish up there or I lose a bunch of credits. 607 00:39:11,353 --> 00:39:14,565 I can apply for schools here, but I'd basically have to start over. 608 00:39:14,773 --> 00:39:17,526 Lose all the work I've already done. 609 00:39:18,318 --> 00:39:20,237 It's only for a year. 610 00:39:21,446 --> 00:39:25,576 I know it's a fly in the ointment. But they're being really cool. Letting me re-enroll. 611 00:39:27,578 --> 00:39:29,913 -There's no other option? -Not really. 612 00:39:30,831 --> 00:39:32,791 -Not really, or no? -No. 613 00:39:33,750 --> 00:39:35,377 [SIGHS] 614 00:39:36,670 --> 00:39:38,088 Wow, that's... 615 00:39:39,673 --> 00:39:40,716 Wow. 616 00:39:40,924 --> 00:39:42,593 -You can come with me. -To Michigan? 617 00:39:42,759 --> 00:39:45,137 -It's not that far. -The kids? 618 00:39:45,387 --> 00:39:47,472 -Sure, if you want. -If I want? 619 00:39:47,681 --> 00:39:50,100 Yes, yes, of course, them too. 620 00:39:53,604 --> 00:39:58,609 Look, there's details to sort through, but all doable details. Totally doable details. 621 00:39:59,318 --> 00:40:02,029 Uh-huh. Uh... 622 00:40:03,405 --> 00:40:05,532 I have to get ready for softball. 623 00:40:13,206 --> 00:40:16,752 Attention, people. Kevin is gonna be a daddy. 624 00:40:17,002 --> 00:40:19,171 [ALL CHEERING] 625 00:40:23,592 --> 00:40:25,093 Really? Really? 626 00:40:25,552 --> 00:40:27,220 Look at the stick, people! 627 00:40:28,138 --> 00:40:29,848 Oh, my God. Are you serious? 628 00:40:30,015 --> 00:40:31,642 [VERONICA LAUGHING] 629 00:40:32,893 --> 00:40:35,896 Look at the stick. Look at this stick. 630 00:40:36,271 --> 00:40:41,068 Be aware, for the rest of the night, I am stirring cocktails with this stick. 631 00:40:41,234 --> 00:40:42,903 [ALL LAUGHING] 632 00:41:10,430 --> 00:41:14,184 Frank, where the hell are you? Call me. 633 00:41:17,437 --> 00:41:21,733 Hey, I can't believe you texted me for a second go round. 634 00:41:21,942 --> 00:41:24,903 -Maybe I made a mistake coming back. -No, no, come on. 635 00:41:25,112 --> 00:41:29,700 We are heteros trapped in the demonic obsession of same-sex sin. 636 00:41:30,033 --> 00:41:33,578 We must rid ourselves of the gay. We just have to keep practicing. 637 00:41:34,579 --> 00:41:36,248 [CLAPPING AND CHATTERING] 638 00:41:37,708 --> 00:41:40,711 Let's go, Mike. Come on, bring us home. 639 00:41:41,086 --> 00:41:42,546 Fiona's so into softball, huh? 640 00:41:42,754 --> 00:41:45,549 We need more of that, Connie. Mike, end this thing! 641 00:41:45,757 --> 00:41:48,969 Yeah, Mike. We don't have enough beer for extra innings. 642 00:41:49,261 --> 00:41:51,096 ALL: Yeah! 643 00:41:51,555 --> 00:41:52,764 [YELLS] 644 00:41:52,931 --> 00:41:54,016 [CHEERING] 645 00:41:59,438 --> 00:42:00,772 Oh, my God! 646 00:42:00,939 --> 00:42:02,190 Oh, my God! 647 00:42:06,361 --> 00:42:09,114 Beer! Get some beer! 648 00:42:09,281 --> 00:42:11,408 Should we be planning for the worst? 649 00:42:11,658 --> 00:42:16,288 She's been through a tremendous trauma. But I've seen miracles. They do happen. 650 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,583 Just keep engaging with her. 651 00:42:19,958 --> 00:42:23,253 Doing things she likes that might trigger her unconscious. 652 00:42:24,046 --> 00:42:26,089 Let her know you're here. 653 00:42:33,055 --> 00:42:34,556 Sheila. 654 00:42:36,141 --> 00:42:38,226 You should go home tonight. Get some sleep. 655 00:42:39,186 --> 00:42:44,524 Sheila. I think we need to start taking turns getting shut eye in a real bed. 656 00:42:44,983 --> 00:42:46,568 - I think-- -Please don't say that. 657 00:42:46,818 --> 00:42:49,613 -I'm not saying she's not gonna wake up. -Jody. 658 00:42:49,863 --> 00:42:53,658 I'm just saying it's a marathon, not a sprint. 659 00:42:55,035 --> 00:42:58,371 We gotta start taking care of ourselves. For Karen. 660 00:43:01,541 --> 00:43:03,335 You're a prince, Jody. 661 00:43:04,252 --> 00:43:06,797 -Stop. -You're like a prince. 662 00:43:06,963 --> 00:43:08,173 [JODY CHUCKLES] 663 00:43:09,299 --> 00:43:14,554 [, um... I think that you're her prince. 664 00:43:15,013 --> 00:43:21,853 When she was a little girl, I would read to her from this old, old book of fairy tales. 665 00:43:22,604 --> 00:43:26,358 They're dark, the old ones. They're twisted and scary. 666 00:43:27,234 --> 00:43:31,571 She would hold my hand and squeeze it really tight. 667 00:43:33,198 --> 00:43:36,368 When the witches and the poisoned apples... 668 00:43:37,536 --> 00:43:42,582 And wait for the kiss of true love. And when it came, she would smile and say: 669 00:43:43,375 --> 00:43:49,214 "Mama, read it again." And she grew up. And I took her prince. 670 00:43:50,340 --> 00:43:51,716 You're hers. 671 00:44:18,577 --> 00:44:21,580 All right, cuppers. Good game, guys. Thanks for having me. 672 00:44:21,788 --> 00:44:24,082 What? No, you've had like half a beer. 673 00:44:24,291 --> 00:44:27,377 -Pound the rest, girl. -Actually, that would be half-pounding. Heh. 674 00:44:27,627 --> 00:44:28,753 Uncle Matt's rules. 675 00:44:28,962 --> 00:44:32,883 All cuppers get to come in two hours late the day after a softball victory. 676 00:44:33,049 --> 00:44:36,511 -Uncle Matt encourages drunkenness. -Yeah, please. Drink with us. 677 00:44:36,678 --> 00:44:39,973 I told my brother I'd only stay for a second. Little ones gotta be in bed. 678 00:44:40,182 --> 00:44:43,935 -How many of those kids are yours? - I birthed none yet am responsible for all. 679 00:44:44,102 --> 00:44:46,688 Wait until you marry the doctor, you'll have your own Irish brood. 680 00:44:46,855 --> 00:44:48,106 [ALL CHUCKLE] 681 00:44:49,149 --> 00:44:52,360 Uh, go cuppers. See you tomorrow. Finish that. 682 00:44:52,652 --> 00:44:54,779 -Thank you. Bye. -Bye. 683 00:44:54,988 --> 00:44:56,198 That must be the doctor. 684 00:44:56,364 --> 00:44:57,699 -Mm-hm. CONNIE: Heh. 685 00:44:58,283 --> 00:44:59,784 -Did I do that out loud? CONNIE: Yeah. 686 00:44:59,993 --> 00:45:01,870 All right, guys, come on, stop staring. 687 00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,247 -Amateurs. Come on. CONNIE: Why? Were we staring? 688 00:45:04,623 --> 00:45:09,044 -How was the game? -Walk off win. I scored. 689 00:45:13,465 --> 00:45:14,925 You knew, didn't you? 690 00:45:15,717 --> 00:45:16,927 Knew what? 691 00:45:17,636 --> 00:45:20,931 Michigan. You knew you were gonna have to move back from the beginning. 692 00:45:21,181 --> 00:45:23,475 -What? No. -Please don't be the guy who lies. 693 00:45:23,725 --> 00:45:29,814 -Please. Don't be that guy. -Yes. Probably. Not for sure, but yes. 694 00:45:30,106 --> 00:45:31,274 -I'm tired, dude. -Fiona. 695 00:45:31,524 --> 00:45:32,901 -Fiona. -What? 696 00:45:38,490 --> 00:45:39,699 I need a change. 697 00:45:41,284 --> 00:45:43,411 -From me? -You know that's not what I meant. 698 00:45:44,537 --> 00:45:47,874 I only know what you wanna tell me, when you decide you wanna tell me. 699 00:45:48,124 --> 00:45:49,876 I love you. 700 00:45:52,128 --> 00:45:53,797 Great. 701 00:45:55,966 --> 00:45:58,802 Debbie needs braces, I'm making espressos. 702 00:45:59,052 --> 00:46:02,264 You're selling cups. It's a year. 703 00:46:02,514 --> 00:46:06,476 Stop saying it like a year is nothing. Like nothing can happen in a year. 704 00:46:06,685 --> 00:46:09,646 Like being away from each other for a year wouldn't matter. 705 00:46:10,021 --> 00:46:12,190 Other people do it. 706 00:46:15,944 --> 00:46:21,866 I'm tired. I gotta get up early in the morning. Selling cups. 707 00:46:23,034 --> 00:46:24,536 Fiona. 708 00:46:26,913 --> 00:46:28,915 I'm gonna be a great doctor. 709 00:46:33,461 --> 00:46:35,005 I'm not arguing that. 710 00:46:41,052 --> 00:46:43,054 [FOOTSTEPS] 711 00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:51,980 [WHISPERS] Are you awake? 712 00:48:04,219 --> 00:48:05,970 [HEART MONITOR BEEPING ACCELERATES] 713 00:48:24,447 --> 00:48:25,490 [GASPS] 714 00:48:30,912 --> 00:48:32,789 Give it to me, Rihanna. Yeah, go. 715 00:48:32,956 --> 00:48:34,416 [FRANK GRUNTING] 716 00:48:34,916 --> 00:48:36,292 Open the door. 717 00:48:36,835 --> 00:48:38,628 SCOTTY: Go. Almost there. FRANK: Aah! 718 00:48:38,837 --> 00:48:40,672 [FRANK GRUNTING] 719 00:48:41,548 --> 00:48:43,466 Oh, my God. 720 00:48:44,342 --> 00:48:46,302 I can explain. 721 00:48:46,553 --> 00:48:48,346 Reparative therapy? 722 00:48:48,555 --> 00:48:49,931 Jesus, get her out of here. 723 00:48:50,390 --> 00:48:52,684 But I can fix him, I can try harder. 724 00:48:52,892 --> 00:48:55,103 -I can do it. ABRAHAM: Get her out. 725 00:48:55,478 --> 00:48:59,107 You let yourself be brainwashed by Alistair Huddleston... 726 00:48:59,274 --> 00:49:02,444 ...and his Return to Paradise Project lunatics? 727 00:49:02,694 --> 00:49:06,281 I thought she was a he. She was wearing Pendleton plaid and combat boots. 728 00:49:06,489 --> 00:49:10,535 Paul Bunyan's blue ox would have been fooled. All she needed was an ax. 729 00:49:10,910 --> 00:49:12,245 Jesus, lock the door. 730 00:49:12,704 --> 00:49:15,248 I'm gay. Jesus, wait. I'm gay. 731 00:49:15,498 --> 00:49:17,709 I'm completely 100 percent gay. 732 00:49:18,001 --> 00:49:20,712 Good. Now you're going to prove it. 733 00:49:22,172 --> 00:49:23,965 Boys. 734 00:49:27,969 --> 00:49:29,345 I like to watch. 735 00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:31,806 Oh, boy. 736 00:49:32,432 --> 00:49:35,768 [WITH MOCK EXCITEMENT] I mean, oh, boy. 737 00:49:37,687 --> 00:49:39,481 So when you say you went down... 738 00:49:39,689 --> 00:49:41,357 I went down and I went to town. 739 00:49:41,608 --> 00:49:44,986 I chowed down on her like I was drinking from a cup of ambrosia. 740 00:49:45,236 --> 00:49:47,655 And she came. She came to. 741 00:49:48,615 --> 00:49:50,283 You gotta get the word out. 742 00:49:50,533 --> 00:49:52,410 I've found the cure to comas. 61074

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