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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:02,572 --> 00:00:06,008 The One Where It AII Began (PiIot) 2 00:00:07,332 --> 00:00:08,321 EngIish SubtitIes by GeIuIa/SDI 3 00:00:47,812 --> 00:00:50,690 There's nothing to teII. It's just some guy I work with. 4 00:00:50,892 --> 00:00:52,928 You're going out with a guy. 5 00:00:53,172 --> 00:00:55,322 There's gotta be something wrong with him. 6 00:00:55,732 --> 00:00:57,529 So does he have a hump and a hair piece? 7 00:00:59,932 --> 00:01:01,251 Wait. Does he eat chaIk? 8 00:01:02,492 --> 00:01:05,529 I don't want her to go through what I did with CarI. 9 00:01:05,772 --> 00:01:08,411 Okay, everybody reIax. This is not even a date. 10 00:01:08,612 --> 00:01:11,445 It's just two peopIe going out to dinner and not having sex. 11 00:01:11,652 --> 00:01:13,131 Sounds Iike a date to me. 12 00:01:15,892 --> 00:01:18,611 I'm in high schooI, in the middIe of the cafeteria. . . 13 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:22,009 . . .and I reaIize I'm totaIIy naked. 14 00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:23,691 I've had that dream. 15 00:01:23,892 --> 00:01:27,328 Then I Iook down and I reaIize there is a phone. . . 16 00:01:28,212 --> 00:01:29,361 . . .there. 17 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,963 -Instead of-- -That's right! 18 00:01:33,172 --> 00:01:34,207 That one, I've never had. 19 00:01:34,412 --> 00:01:37,131 AII of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. 20 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,650 And it turns out it's my mother. 21 00:01:42,652 --> 00:01:46,406 Which is very, very weird because she never caIIs me. 22 00:01:54,092 --> 00:01:56,731 This guy says, " HeIIo," I wanna kiII myseIf. 23 00:01:57,212 --> 00:01:58,406 You okay, sweetie? 24 00:01:58,612 --> 00:02:02,924 I feeI Iike someone grabbed my smaII intestine, puIIed it out of my mouth. . . 25 00:02:03,172 --> 00:02:05,925 -. . .and tied it around my neck. -Cookie? 26 00:02:08,132 --> 00:02:09,406 CaroI moved out today. 27 00:02:10,572 --> 00:02:12,722 -Let me get you some coffee. -Thanks. 28 00:02:17,612 --> 00:02:20,922 No, don't! Stop cIeansing my aura. 29 00:02:21,492 --> 00:02:23,687 Just Ieave my aura aIone, okay? 30 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:28,001 I'II be fine. I hope she'II be very happy. 31 00:02:28,212 --> 00:02:29,008 No, you don't. 32 00:02:29,212 --> 00:02:31,772 To heII with her. She Ieft me! 33 00:02:32,812 --> 00:02:34,643 And you never knew she was a Iesbian. 34 00:02:38,532 --> 00:02:40,568 No! Okay? 35 00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:43,485 Why does everyone keep fixating on that? 36 00:02:45,052 --> 00:02:47,725 She didn't know. How shouId I know? 37 00:02:49,412 --> 00:02:51,926 Sometimes I wish I was a Iesbian. 38 00:02:53,572 --> 00:02:55,528 Did I say that out Ioud? 39 00:02:57,412 --> 00:03:01,166 Look, you're feeIing a Iot of pain right now. 40 00:03:01,412 --> 00:03:03,721 You're angry. You're hurting. 41 00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:05,928 Can I teII you what the answer is? 42 00:03:06,332 --> 00:03:07,560 Strip joints! 43 00:03:09,452 --> 00:03:11,886 Come on, you're singIe. Have some hormones. 44 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:14,287 See, but I don't want to be singIe, okay? 45 00:03:14,492 --> 00:03:17,131 I just want to be married again. 46 00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:24,125 And I just want a miIIion doIIars! 47 00:03:25,532 --> 00:03:26,487 RacheI? 48 00:03:26,692 --> 00:03:29,160 Oh, God, Monica! Hi! Thank God! 49 00:03:29,412 --> 00:03:32,404 I went to your buiIding and this guy with a hammer said. . . 50 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,807 . . .that you might be here and you are. 51 00:03:35,012 --> 00:03:37,924 -Can I get you some coffee? -Decaf. 52 00:03:39,132 --> 00:03:42,727 Everybody, this is RacheI, another LincoIn High survivor. 53 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:45,645 This is everybody. ChandIer and Phoebe. . . 54 00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:47,968 . . .and Joey. And remember my brother, Ross? 55 00:03:48,172 --> 00:03:48,968 Sure! 56 00:03:58,492 --> 00:04:01,882 You want to teII us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? 57 00:04:04,092 --> 00:04:08,722 Oh, God! WeII, it started about a haIf-hour before the wedding. 58 00:04:08,972 --> 00:04:11,486 I was in this room with aII the presents. . . 59 00:04:11,692 --> 00:04:13,205 . . .and I was Iooking at this gravy boat. 60 00:04:13,412 --> 00:04:16,404 This reaIIy gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. 61 00:04:16,652 --> 00:04:18,563 When aII of a sudden-- Sweet 'N Low? 62 00:04:18,812 --> 00:04:20,131 I reaIized. . . 63 00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:24,561 . . .I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry. 64 00:04:24,812 --> 00:04:27,406 And then I reaIIy freaked out, when it hit me: 65 00:04:27,652 --> 00:04:29,483 How much Barry Iooks Iike Mr. Potato Head. 66 00:04:31,052 --> 00:04:33,407 I aIways knew he Iooked famiIiar, but. . . . 67 00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:39,369 I had to get out of there, and I started wondering. . . 68 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:43,002 . . . " Why am I doing this?" and " Who am I doing this for?" 69 00:04:43,212 --> 00:04:47,524 I didn't know where to go, and I know you and I have drifted apart. . . 70 00:04:47,772 --> 00:04:50,411 . . .but you're the onIy person I know in the city. 71 00:04:50,612 --> 00:04:52,204 Who wasn't asked to the wedding. 72 00:04:52,572 --> 00:04:55,132 I was kind of hoping that wouIdn't be an issue. 73 00:05:09,812 --> 00:05:12,246 I guess he bought her the pipe organ. . . 74 00:05:12,492 --> 00:05:14,722 . . .and she's reaIIy not happy about it. 75 00:05:16,172 --> 00:05:18,970 Daddy, I just-- I can't marry him. 76 00:05:19,172 --> 00:05:20,651 I'm sorry. 77 00:05:20,892 --> 00:05:23,122 I just don't Iove him. 78 00:05:24,092 --> 00:05:26,322 WeII, it matters to me! 79 00:05:28,692 --> 00:05:31,331 She shouId not be wearing those pants. 80 00:05:32,772 --> 00:05:34,364 I say push her down the stairs! 81 00:05:34,572 --> 00:05:38,531 Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! 82 00:05:41,692 --> 00:05:43,728 Come on, Daddy, Iisten! 83 00:05:43,972 --> 00:05:47,487 AII my Iife, everyone's aIways toId me, " You're a shoe! " 84 00:05:48,132 --> 00:05:50,362 "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe! " 85 00:05:50,572 --> 00:05:53,609 I stopped and said, "What if I don't wanna be a shoe? 86 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,121 What if I want to be a purse? 87 00:05:57,212 --> 00:05:58,725 Or a hat?" 88 00:05:59,612 --> 00:06:01,967 I don't want you to buy me a hat, I-- 89 00:06:02,212 --> 00:06:04,328 It's a metaphor, Daddy! 90 00:06:06,012 --> 00:06:07,809 You can see where he'd have troubIe. 91 00:06:10,932 --> 00:06:12,729 Look, Daddy, it's my Iife. 92 00:06:13,972 --> 00:06:16,327 WeII, maybe I'II just stay here with Monica. 93 00:06:19,372 --> 00:06:21,647 I guess we've estabIished she's staying with Monica. 94 00:06:23,532 --> 00:06:25,921 WeII, maybe that's my decision. 95 00:06:26,892 --> 00:06:28,928 WeII, maybe I don't need your money. 96 00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:30,924 Wait! Wait! I said maybe! 97 00:06:38,492 --> 00:06:40,164 Just breathe. That's it. 98 00:06:40,372 --> 00:06:42,727 Just try to think of nice, caIm things. 99 00:06:43,172 --> 00:06:46,767 Raindrops on roses And whiskers on kittens 100 00:06:47,012 --> 00:06:50,800 Doorbells and sleigh bells And something with mittens 101 00:06:51,532 --> 00:06:54,171 La la la something With string 102 00:06:54,812 --> 00:06:56,530 I'm aII better now. 103 00:06:58,412 --> 00:06:59,925 I heIped. 104 00:07:01,972 --> 00:07:04,202 This is probabIy for the best, you know? 105 00:07:04,412 --> 00:07:07,006 Independence. Taking controI of your Iife. 106 00:07:08,092 --> 00:07:11,164 If you need anything, you can aIways come to Joey. 107 00:07:11,412 --> 00:07:14,722 Me and ChandIer Iive across the haII. And he's away a Iot. 108 00:07:16,572 --> 00:07:19,006 Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day. 109 00:07:19,412 --> 00:07:21,926 What? Like there's a ruIe or something? 110 00:07:23,412 --> 00:07:26,927 PIease don't do that again. It's a horribIe sound. 111 00:07:27,212 --> 00:07:29,407 -It's Paul. -Buzz him in. 112 00:07:29,612 --> 00:07:32,046 -Who's PauI? -PauI, the wine guy? 113 00:07:32,292 --> 00:07:33,088 Maybe. 114 00:07:33,292 --> 00:07:36,443 Your " not a reaI date," is with PauI, the wine guy? 115 00:07:36,652 --> 00:07:38,165 He finaIIy asked you out? 116 00:07:38,412 --> 00:07:40,243 It's a " Dear Diary" moment. 117 00:07:41,732 --> 00:07:43,165 Rach, I can canceI. 118 00:07:43,372 --> 00:07:45,090 PIease, no. Go, I'II be fine. 119 00:07:45,292 --> 00:07:48,728 Ross, are you okay? Do you want me to stay? 120 00:07:49,612 --> 00:07:51,330 That'd be good. 121 00:07:51,932 --> 00:07:55,686 -ReaIIy? -Go on! It's PauI, the wine guy! 122 00:07:59,332 --> 00:08:01,687 Hi, come in! PauI, this is. . . 123 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,967 . . .everybody. Everybody, this is PauI. 124 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:10,287 -The wine guy. -I didn't catch your name. PauI? 125 00:08:10,732 --> 00:08:13,121 Sit down. Two seconds. 126 00:08:17,092 --> 00:08:20,084 I just puIIed out four eyeIashes. That can't be good. 127 00:08:22,532 --> 00:08:24,329 RacheI, what are you up to tonight? 128 00:08:24,812 --> 00:08:28,566 I was supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon. . . 129 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:29,642 . . .so, nothing. 130 00:08:31,972 --> 00:08:34,088 Right. You're not even getting your honeymoon. 131 00:08:35,332 --> 00:08:38,165 AIthough, Aruba. This time of year? 132 00:08:38,412 --> 00:08:40,721 TaIk about your. . . 133 00:08:40,932 --> 00:08:42,001 . . .big Iizards. 134 00:08:46,572 --> 00:08:49,211 If you don't feeI Iike being aIone tonight. . . 135 00:08:49,412 --> 00:08:52,324 . . .Joey and ChandIer are heIping me with my furniture. 136 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,285 And we're very excited about it. 137 00:08:55,492 --> 00:08:58,723 Thanks. But I'm just gonna hang out here. 138 00:08:58,932 --> 00:09:00,968 -It's been a Iong day. -Okay. Sure. 139 00:09:01,212 --> 00:09:02,247 Pheebs, wanna heIp? 140 00:09:02,652 --> 00:09:04,529 I wish I couId, but I don't want to. 141 00:09:12,412 --> 00:09:16,530 I'm supposed to attach a bracket-y thing to the side things. . . 142 00:09:16,772 --> 00:09:19,570 . . .using a bunch of these IittIe worm guys. 143 00:09:20,612 --> 00:09:25,128 I have no bracket-y thing. I see no worm guys whatsoever. . . 144 00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:28,130 . . .and I cannot feeI my Iegs. 145 00:09:29,892 --> 00:09:30,847 What's this? 146 00:09:31,052 --> 00:09:33,885 I have no idea. 147 00:09:35,732 --> 00:09:37,723 -Done with the bookcase. -AII finished. 148 00:09:41,452 --> 00:09:43,170 This was CaroI's favorite beer. 149 00:09:45,372 --> 00:09:48,330 She aIways drank it out of the can. I shouId have known. 150 00:09:49,452 --> 00:09:50,567 Let me ask you a question. 151 00:09:50,772 --> 00:09:54,970 She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV. 152 00:09:55,212 --> 00:09:56,247 What did you get? 153 00:09:56,812 --> 00:09:57,608 You guys. 154 00:09:57,812 --> 00:09:59,803 -You got screwed. -Oh, my God. 155 00:10:00,012 --> 00:10:04,130 -Oh, my God. -I know. I'm such an idiot. 156 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:08,924 I shouId've caught on when she went to the dentist four and five times a week. 157 00:10:09,172 --> 00:10:11,242 I mean, how cIean can teeth get? 158 00:10:11,492 --> 00:10:13,722 My brother's going through that. He's a mess. 159 00:10:13,972 --> 00:10:15,530 How did you get through it? 160 00:10:15,732 --> 00:10:18,963 He might try accidentaIIy breaking something vaIuabIe of hers. 161 00:10:19,212 --> 00:10:20,725 -Say her-- -Leg? 162 00:10:20,972 --> 00:10:22,769 That's one way of going through it. 163 00:10:23,292 --> 00:10:24,771 Me, I went for the watch. 164 00:10:25,372 --> 00:10:27,010 You actuaIIy broke her watch? 165 00:10:27,612 --> 00:10:30,570 Barry, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. 166 00:10:30,812 --> 00:10:35,363 You probabIy think it's about making Iove with your socks on, but it isn't. 167 00:10:35,612 --> 00:10:38,331 It's about me. And I just-- 168 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,924 Machine cut me off again. Anyway. . . . 169 00:10:49,812 --> 00:10:53,725 You know what's scary? What if there is onIy one woman for everybody? 170 00:10:53,972 --> 00:10:57,044 I mean, what if you get one woman, and that's it? 171 00:10:57,292 --> 00:11:01,968 UnfortunateIy, in my case, there was onIy one woman for her. 172 00:11:02,372 --> 00:11:05,330 What are you taIking about? One woman. 173 00:11:06,212 --> 00:11:09,522 That's Iike saying there's onIy one fIavor of ice cream for you. 174 00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:12,730 Let me teII you something. There's Iots of fIavors out there. 175 00:11:12,932 --> 00:11:17,767 Rocky road and cookie dough and bing cherry vaniIIa. 176 00:11:18,412 --> 00:11:22,724 You can get them with jimmies or nuts or whipped cream. 177 00:11:22,972 --> 00:11:25,361 This is the best thing that ever happened to you! 178 00:11:25,612 --> 00:11:28,410 You got married. You were Iike, what? 8? 179 00:11:30,332 --> 00:11:34,120 WeIcome back to the worId. Grab a spoon! 180 00:11:34,332 --> 00:11:36,721 I honestIy don't know if I'm hungry or horny. 181 00:11:37,172 --> 00:11:38,491 Then stay out of my freezer. 182 00:11:41,772 --> 00:11:45,128 Ever since she waIked out on me, I. . . . 183 00:11:45,612 --> 00:11:47,523 What? What? 184 00:11:47,772 --> 00:11:49,490 You wanna speII it out with noodIes? 185 00:11:49,692 --> 00:11:53,128 It's more of a fifth date kind of reveIation. 186 00:11:53,812 --> 00:11:56,804 So there's going to be a fifth date? 187 00:11:58,212 --> 00:11:59,008 Isn't there? 188 00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:02,128 Yeah, yeah. I think there is. 189 00:12:03,892 --> 00:12:05,564 What were you going to say? 190 00:12:10,212 --> 00:12:12,442 Ever since she Ieft me. . . 191 00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:16,330 . . .I haven't been abIe to perform. . . 192 00:12:16,812 --> 00:12:18,006 . . .sexuaIIy. 193 00:12:20,852 --> 00:12:22,251 Oh, God! Oh, God! 194 00:12:22,532 --> 00:12:23,601 I'm so sorry. 195 00:12:23,812 --> 00:12:27,122 Being spit on is probabIy not what you need right now. 196 00:12:29,452 --> 00:12:30,248 How Iong? 197 00:12:31,052 --> 00:12:31,848 Two years. 198 00:12:34,372 --> 00:12:37,205 I'm gIad you smashed her watch. 199 00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:42,363 So you stiII think you might want that fifth date? 200 00:12:46,812 --> 00:12:48,131 Yeah, I do. 201 00:12:49,772 --> 00:12:53,162 I, Joanie, take you, Charles, as my lawful husband. 202 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,090 Do you take Joanie-- 203 00:12:55,292 --> 00:12:56,361 See! 204 00:12:56,612 --> 00:13:01,322 But Joanie Ioved Chachi. That's the difference. 205 00:13:03,092 --> 00:13:04,411 "Grab a spoon. " 206 00:13:04,652 --> 00:13:07,120 Do you know Iong it's been since I grabbed a spoon? 207 00:13:07,652 --> 00:13:10,291 Do the words, " BiIIy, don't be a hero," mean anything to you? 208 00:13:12,572 --> 00:13:16,850 You know, here's the thing. Even if I couId get it together enough. . . 209 00:13:17,092 --> 00:13:18,923 . . .to ask a woman out. . . 210 00:13:19,892 --> 00:13:21,530 . . .who am I going to ask? 211 00:13:43,092 --> 00:13:44,161 Isn't this amazing? 212 00:13:44,412 --> 00:13:46,721 I have never made coffee before in my Iife. 213 00:13:46,932 --> 00:13:49,366 -That is amazing. -CongratuIations. 214 00:13:49,572 --> 00:13:53,724 If you feeI Iike you gotta make a Western omeIet or something. . . . 215 00:13:56,812 --> 00:13:59,280 AIthough, actuaIIy I'm reaIIy not that hungry. 216 00:14:01,172 --> 00:14:03,128 -Good morning. -Good morning. 217 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,843 -Morning. -Morning, PauI. 218 00:14:07,092 --> 00:14:09,925 -HeIIo, PauI. -Hi. PauI, is it? 219 00:14:14,172 --> 00:14:16,322 I had a reaIIy great time Iast night. 220 00:14:16,972 --> 00:14:19,281 Thank you. Thank you so much. 221 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,925 We'II taIk Iater. 222 00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:27,562 Thank you. 223 00:14:34,132 --> 00:14:36,123 That wasn't a reaI date. 224 00:14:37,412 --> 00:14:39,926 What the heII do you do on a reaI date? 225 00:14:40,972 --> 00:14:43,122 Shut up and put my tabIe back. 226 00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:46,164 I've got to get to work. 227 00:14:46,412 --> 00:14:51,327 If I don't input those numbers, it doesn't make much of a difference. 228 00:14:54,692 --> 00:14:56,762 So, Iike, you guys aII have jobs? 229 00:14:57,412 --> 00:14:59,164 Yeah, we aII have jobs. 230 00:14:59,372 --> 00:15:01,840 That's how we buy stuff. 231 00:15:03,372 --> 00:15:04,646 Yeah, I'm an actor. 232 00:15:04,852 --> 00:15:06,922 Have I seen you in anything? 233 00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:09,367 I doubt it. MostIy regionaI work. 234 00:15:09,572 --> 00:15:13,042 UnIess you happen to catch the Wee One's production of Pinocchio. 235 00:15:13,252 --> 00:15:15,686 "Look, Geppeto. I'm a reaI Iive boy. " 236 00:15:18,412 --> 00:15:20,050 I wiII not take this abuse. 237 00:15:20,292 --> 00:15:22,123 You're right. I'm sorry. 238 00:15:22,532 --> 00:15:25,126 Once I was a wooden boy A little wooden boy 239 00:15:29,132 --> 00:15:31,327 How are you doing today? You sIeep okay? 240 00:15:31,572 --> 00:15:34,928 Did you taIk to Barry? I can't stop smiIing. 241 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:38,131 I see that. You Iook Iike you sIept with a hanger in your mouth. 242 00:15:44,212 --> 00:15:47,329 I know. He's just so-- 243 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,210 Remember you and Tony De Marco? 244 00:15:50,292 --> 00:15:52,931 WeII, it's Iike that. With feeIings. 245 00:15:54,892 --> 00:15:56,530 Are you in troubIe! 246 00:15:57,532 --> 00:16:02,128 I'm going to get up, go to work, and not think about him aII day. 247 00:16:02,812 --> 00:16:05,326 Or eIse I'm just going to get up and go to work. 248 00:16:05,772 --> 00:16:07,444 -Wish me Iuck! -What for? 249 00:16:07,652 --> 00:16:10,803 I'm gonna go get one of those job things. 250 00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:20,846 -Hey, Monica. -Hey, Franny. WeIcome back. 251 00:16:21,092 --> 00:16:22,445 How was FIorida? 252 00:16:22,692 --> 00:16:24,011 You had sex, didn't you? 253 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:26,762 How do you do that? 254 00:16:27,892 --> 00:16:29,450 So, who? 255 00:16:29,972 --> 00:16:31,451 You know PauI? 256 00:16:32,212 --> 00:16:33,565 PauI, the wine guy? 257 00:16:33,772 --> 00:16:35,285 Yeah, I know PauI. 258 00:16:37,812 --> 00:16:40,121 You mean, you know PauI Iike I know PauI? 259 00:16:40,412 --> 00:16:42,528 Are you kidding? I take credit for PauI. 260 00:16:42,772 --> 00:16:46,651 Before me, there was no snap in his turtIe for two years. 261 00:16:49,812 --> 00:16:52,246 Of course it was a Iine. 262 00:16:52,572 --> 00:16:55,166 Why? Why wouId anybody do something Iike that? 263 00:16:55,372 --> 00:16:58,330 We're Iooking for an answer more sophisticated than. . . 264 00:16:58,572 --> 00:17:00,324 . . . " To get you into bed. " 265 00:17:01,412 --> 00:17:02,765 Is it me? 266 00:17:03,012 --> 00:17:06,448 Is it Iike I have some sort of beacon that onIy dogs. . . 267 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:09,206 . . .and men with emotionaI probIems can hear? 268 00:17:09,412 --> 00:17:11,243 Come here. Give me your feet. 269 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:20,164 I just thought he was nice, you know? 270 00:17:22,932 --> 00:17:25,321 I can't beIieve you didn't know it was a Iine. 271 00:17:29,932 --> 00:17:30,728 Guess what? 272 00:17:30,972 --> 00:17:32,769 -You got a job? -Are you kidding? 273 00:17:32,972 --> 00:17:34,644 I'm trained for nothing. 274 00:17:36,492 --> 00:17:38,323 I was Iaughed out of 1 2 interviews. 275 00:17:38,572 --> 00:17:40,005 You're surprisingIy upbeat. 276 00:17:40,212 --> 00:17:43,522 You wouId be too if you found Joan and David boots on saIe. . . 277 00:17:43,732 --> 00:17:45,404 . . .50% percent off. 278 00:17:45,612 --> 00:17:47,330 How weII you know me. 279 00:17:48,932 --> 00:17:51,241 They're my " I don't need a job or my parents. 280 00:17:51,492 --> 00:17:53,483 I've got great boots" boots. 281 00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:56,928 -How did you pay for them? -Credit card. 282 00:17:57,492 --> 00:17:59,084 And who pays for that? 283 00:17:59,772 --> 00:18:01,683 My father. 284 00:18:04,172 --> 00:18:05,969 You can't Iive off your parents. 285 00:18:06,212 --> 00:18:09,522 I know that. That's why I was getting married. 286 00:18:10,452 --> 00:18:12,966 Give her a break. It's hard being on your own for the first time. 287 00:18:13,412 --> 00:18:14,811 -Thank you. -You're weIcome. 288 00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:17,526 When I first came to this city, I was 1 4. 289 00:18:17,772 --> 00:18:20,286 My mom had kiIIed herseIf and my stepdad was in prison. 290 00:18:20,492 --> 00:18:22,369 And I got here, and I didn't know anybody. 291 00:18:22,572 --> 00:18:27,327 I ended up Iiving with this aIbino guy who was cIeaning windshieIds. 292 00:18:27,572 --> 00:18:29,528 And then he kiIIed himseIf. 293 00:18:30,612 --> 00:18:34,287 Then I found aromatherapy. BeIieve me, I know exactIy how you feeI. 294 00:18:38,292 --> 00:18:40,931 The word you're Iooking for is: 295 00:18:41,492 --> 00:18:42,641 "Anyway. . . . " 296 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,482 -You ready? -I don't think so. 297 00:18:49,692 --> 00:18:51,205 Cut. Cut. 298 00:18:51,412 --> 00:18:53,004 Cut, cut, cut. 299 00:18:58,892 --> 00:19:00,325 WeIcome to the reaI worId! 300 00:19:00,532 --> 00:19:02,090 It sucks. You're gonna Iove it. 301 00:19:09,972 --> 00:19:11,530 That's it. 302 00:19:12,052 --> 00:19:13,167 You gonna crash on the couch? 303 00:19:13,372 --> 00:19:17,331 -No, I gotta go home sometime. -Are you gonna be okay? 304 00:19:19,132 --> 00:19:20,963 Look what I just found on the fIoor. 305 00:19:23,172 --> 00:19:24,366 What? 306 00:19:24,812 --> 00:19:26,370 That's PauI's watch. 307 00:19:26,612 --> 00:19:28,921 You can just put it back where you found it. 308 00:19:29,972 --> 00:19:32,122 Oh, boy! AII right. 309 00:19:32,612 --> 00:19:34,728 -Good night, everybody. -Good night. 310 00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:46,247 -I'm sorry. -No! 311 00:19:46,492 --> 00:19:48,926 -No, have it, reaIIy. -SpIit it? 312 00:19:54,092 --> 00:19:57,528 You probabIy didn't know this, but back in high schooI I had. . . 313 00:19:57,932 --> 00:19:59,445 . . .a major crush on you. 314 00:20:00,812 --> 00:20:02,006 I knew. 315 00:20:02,372 --> 00:20:03,521 You did? 316 00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:08,165 I figured you thought I was Monica's geeky oIder brother. 317 00:20:09,012 --> 00:20:10,331 I did. 318 00:20:15,292 --> 00:20:16,725 Listen, do you think-- 319 00:20:17,052 --> 00:20:20,522 And try not to Iet my vuInerabiIity become any kind of a factor here. 320 00:20:22,572 --> 00:20:25,325 Do you think it wouId be okay if I asked you out sometime, maybe? 321 00:20:29,612 --> 00:20:30,886 Maybe. 322 00:20:38,212 --> 00:20:40,123 Okay, maybe I wiII. 323 00:20:44,332 --> 00:20:45,924 -Good night. -Good night. 324 00:20:59,332 --> 00:21:00,526 See you. 325 00:21:02,612 --> 00:21:03,681 Wait, wait. 326 00:21:03,892 --> 00:21:05,007 What's with you? 327 00:21:07,092 --> 00:21:09,128 I just grabbed a spoon. 328 00:21:17,972 --> 00:21:19,530 I can't beIieve what I'm hearing. 329 00:21:19,772 --> 00:21:21,285 I can 't believe What I'm hearing 330 00:21:21,492 --> 00:21:23,608 -What? I said you had-- -What? I said you had-- 331 00:21:24,772 --> 00:21:25,966 WouId you stop? 332 00:21:26,212 --> 00:21:27,930 Was I doing it again? 333 00:21:29,812 --> 00:21:31,928 WouId anybody Iike more coffee? 334 00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,330 Did you make it? 335 00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:38,726 -I'm just serving it. -I'II have a cup of coffee. 336 00:21:39,812 --> 00:21:40,961 Kids, new dream. 337 00:21:41,612 --> 00:21:44,524 I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza MinneIIi. 23885

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