Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:05,720
This programme
contains very strong language
2
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,400
You've got to feel
sorry for Sergeant Hogg.
3
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,080
Lost an eye, poor fucker.
4
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,480
But on the plus side,
half-price sunglasses.
5
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,240
And the Annual Wedge
fancy-dress ball,
6
00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:18,520
he can always go
dressed as a pirate.
7
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,760
Maybe he could get a bionic eye,
see through walls?
8
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,480
Oh, that'd be fucking mint!
9
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:27,120
Still, he's got his crown jewels.
What more does he want?
10
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,920
It may be your dream to have
more balls than eyes, Mac,
11
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,080
but maybe Sergeant Hogg would have...
12
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,760
EXPLOSION
13
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,600
'Bluestone 42.
14
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,840
'Bluestone 42, respond.'
15
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,400
COUGHING
16
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,240
MUFFLED: Skip? Skip?
17
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:38,760
Skip, you OK? Skip?
18
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,960
Zero Alpha this is... Oh, shit.
The antenna's fucked!
19
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:50,480
Skip? Skip?
UNMUFFLED: Get off me!
20
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,680
You're bleeding, you fucking numpty!
21
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:58,800
Oh, God, I'm bleeding!
Man down! Man down!
22
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,920
Medic! Oh, I'm hurt.
23
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,160
Oh, actually...
Actually, it's not that bad.
24
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:10,480
Oh, it's... No, that's stopped.
I'll be fine.
25
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:12,240
I am fine.
26
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:16,080
Thanks for that reverse panic
attack, Simon. Is anyone else hurt?
27
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,080
Bird? Towerblock? I'm OK. Fine.
Legs?
28
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,240
I'm fine. And I told you,
don't fucking call me Legs.
29
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,640
So what is your name?
It's Private Leggatt.
30
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:27,560
You're not helping yourself.
How are we in the cab?
31
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,720
All right. Fine.
32
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,640
OK, so we're all OK.
33
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,320
No, we're not!
34
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,480
I've lost all my Haribo.
35
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,080
Bloody hell, Rocket!
36
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,600
'Hello, Bluestone 42.
37
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,440
'This is Zero, respond.
Over.'
38
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:48,640
I'm fucking trying. Radio's fucked.
39
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,040
CHATTERING
40
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,720
OK, everyone, shut up! Breathe.
41
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,680
Legs, I want you to tell
the other vehicles we're all OK
42
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,400
but we're going to give it
a 30-minute soak.
43
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,520
Everyone's OK, 30-minute soak.
44
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,160
Guys, this is our lucky day.
45
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,360
Bollocks!
CHATTERING
46
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:16,560
No, no, listen. We all survived.
Now, that's lucky.
47
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,480
We have tweaked the nose of death
48
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,280
and we have
lived to tell the tale.
49
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:24,560
Bollocks we have.
50
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,600
The mastiff's designed with
a V-shaped hull,
51
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,160
shock mounted seating...
52
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,280
You are not listening, Towerblock.
53
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,240
OK, the main thing is no-one's
really hurt
54
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,440
and we all got a lovely
burst of adrenaline.
55
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,480
Ooh, found one.
56
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,320
No, I haven't.
57
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,640
Ah!
THE LAUGH
58
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,760
Towerblock, what the fuck?
59
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,080
It's just a game, boss.
60
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,960
What's it called, Punching People
In The Head? You've heard of it?
61
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,080
You take it in turns to punch
each other in the head
62
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,520
when they're not expecting it.
63
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,080
I had the punch, I punched Mac,
now Mac has the punch.
64
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,840
Can I play? Aye.
65
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,360
Ow!
HE LAUGHS
OK...
66
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,840
Stop it now.
67
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,960
And thank you, Towerblock,
for introducing my infantry escort
68
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:15,080
to this charming game, particularly
at this tactically low-risk moment.
69
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:19,800
OK, so, we had a close call but,
balls on the table...
70
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,120
Uh! ...this was my fault.
Oh, come on, boss.
71
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,760
There's no way you could have
known...
72
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,680
No. We know this is a blind spot,
we should've
73
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,240
barma-ed the road but I'm
going to get us all back to base
74
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,200
like a bunch of fucking legends.
75
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,640
Ah! Got ye.
76
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,480
What? Back to base like a bunch
of fucking legends
77
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,280
and the padre will be all over you.
78
00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:37,920
"Ooh, you're my hero.
79
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:42,040
"Come to my bosom. In fact,
come on my bosom. Oh!"
80
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,920
Oi! Mac, show some respect.
She's a major,
81
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,640
she's a padre, she's a decent woman.
82
00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,360
Ah! So you've finally fucked her?
83
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,720
What?
84
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,680
No. You gave her one.
You feel bad about it,
85
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,880
so suddenly she's a decent woman.
86
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,320
Yeah, well, I haven't, actually,
so... I haven't.
87
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,440
Bird, has he fucked the padre?
Yes or no.
88
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,680
No. There you go, fucked her, QED.
89
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:09,000
Did you really?
Oh, right, thanks a bunch, Bird.
90
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,080
I fucking said "no"!
He totally has though.
91
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,680
Holy shit, boss!
92
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,000
I hope this doesn't compromise the
pastoral care. All right, enough.
93
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,920
MASTIFF CREAKS
94
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,720
And you know what?
I could do worse than Mary.
95
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,000
I HAVE done worse,
I've done a lot worse.
96
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,320
Not you, Bird.
97
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,000
I didn't mean to look
at you when...
98
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,480
ANYWAY, we've got to get to safety.
99
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:39,640
I can't believe you, you know,
had sexual intercourse with her.
100
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,400
You know what?
101
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,040
I think that Mary and I
might actually
102
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,360
have a fucking future together.
I mean, this is huge.
103
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:46,800
That's what she said!
104
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,800
Er, it's not that huge.
105
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,040
Yes, all right. I said "enough"!
106
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,840
Right, now, because there
is a high chance of ambush,
107
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,280
we're going to do everything
in the right order, yeah?
108
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,040
So we don't all get, you know,
killed.
109
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,680
So, 30-minute soak, relax,
spin some dits.
110
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:06,360
Yes. Take a moment
to smell the roses...
111
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,760
whatever that smell is.
112
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,800
Yeah, and also let's not just
walk out into an ambush.
113
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,400
So, here's the plan.
What we're going to...
114
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,160
MASTIFF CREAKS
115
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:21,480
Shit! Boss? Nick? Nick? Shit.
116
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,440
Nick! Nick!
117
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,240
Slap him, wake him up.
Shut up, Mac.
118
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,120
Thought you'd want to slap him
after what he said about the padre.
119
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,280
It's fucking serious.
OK. We need to move him,
120
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:33,200
get him into the recovery position,
check his airways.
121
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,800
Grab his legs, Simon.
Easy, easy, easy!
122
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,760
OK, there's a medic in the Jackal.
123
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,200
We search our way over...
124
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,440
Hang about, what happened to wait
here, 30-minute soak time?
125
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,280
He needs a medic, numbnuts.
126
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,480
He's breathing.
127
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,920
Oh, thank you, Dr Fuckwit MD.
128
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,920
Get those doors open now! Don't!
129
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,400
Excuse me, I'm in charge here.
130
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,200
I'm just doing what the boss said
and I'm number two so...
131
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,480
Number two.
132
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,600
Number twos are jobbies.
I was Acting Sergeant
133
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,200
but turned down promotion to stay
with this bunch of twats.
134
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,800
That was quite touching, actually.
135
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,920
All right, then. Act like a
sergeant. Think about your men.
136
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,760
What happens when we get out there?
137
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:15,280
We could walk into an ambush.
Bang-bang, he's dead.
138
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,240
Bang-bang, HE'S dead.
People running for cover
139
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,800
and then what if there's
secondary devices? Boom! That's him.
140
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,160
Not so lucky now.
141
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,360
And then he wakes up
because he's only knocked out
142
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,040
and he's basically fine,
143
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,960
and these lot are all in body bags
cos you weren't thinking straight.
144
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,120
Want to know what I think? No.
145
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,440
As the boss said,
146
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,680
the safest place to be
is in a heavily armoured metal box.
147
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,280
I've found one!
148
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,240
OK. OK, we stay put.
149
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,600
But he isn't "basically fine".
No ambush, no secondaries,
150
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,240
we get him to a hospital but
half an hour later than we could.
151
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,800
Too late, he's dead
and we spend years feeling like shit
152
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,960
because we didn't get
him a fucking medic.
153
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,040
So this is me thinking straight, OK?
154
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,040
We search our way over
to the other vehicle now.
155
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,840
Fine, fine, we'll do it your way.
Rocket, Simon,
156
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,360
hold me out the back.
157
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,680
Legs, tell the other vehicles
we need a medic now.
158
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,520
Oi! We need a medic.
159
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,120
By the way, my unit call me 50-cal.
160
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,720
Shut up, Legs.
161
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,760
Medic's here. How's the ATO?
162
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,520
Passed out, breathing normally.
163
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:32,920
He's not bleeding.
164
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,800
With you ASAP. Rest of you OK?
165
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:40,960
I've sustained mild injuries
but I'm fine.
166
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,840
Quite lucky, actually.
167
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,800
Such tenderness, such care.
168
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,520
All right, Mac.
I fucked him once, ages ago
169
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,360
when we were drunk and we said
we'd never speak of it again.
170
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,600
How's that going?
171
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,040
I don't even fancy him.
HE MIMICS A KLAXON
172
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,360
I don't!
HE MIMICS A KLAXON
173
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,480
Fuck off! I've seen far too much
of his bullshit to still fancy him.
174
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,680
"Still"? So you fancied him once?
175
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:11,640
Briefly.
HE LAUGHS
176
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,560
Oi, you fuckwits, you nearly
dropped me then! Sorry.
177
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,840
And now you're not over him. I am!
178
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,920
HE MIMICS A KLAXON
I fucking am, all right?
179
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,960
I don't think about him,
I don't care who he's shagging,
180
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,560
has shagged, wants to shag...
I simply don't care what he wants.
181
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:27,720
NICK GRUNTS
182
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,520
Nick?! Nick?!
183
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,280
You know what you should do
to get over him?
184
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,880
Before you go on, does this involve
me having a threesome
185
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,480
with you and Rocket's mum?
186
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,800
Mmm, ideally
187
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,080
but there's more than one way
to skin a cat...
188
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,000
as we found out
when we had all those feral cats.
189
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,760
All right, if I wasn't over him -
which I am -
190
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,960
what should I do?
Which I'm not going to do.
191
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,840
You make a list of all
his bad points.
192
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:03,280
Then whenever you start fancying him
again, just bring out the list.
193
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,400
Genius, I'd deffo do that
if I wasn't over him,
194
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,040
which I totally am.
195
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,360
And...
196
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,920
you could draw a cock and balls
on his forehead.
197
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:15,960
You cannae fancy someone with
a cock and balls on his forehead.
198
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,600
I'm totally doing that.
199
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,240
So, tell me what's happened.
200
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,920
An ammo box dropped on his head.
201
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,680
Probably a bit of concussion.
202
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:33,360
Oh, and Simon's gone mental,
keeps saying today's his lucky day.
203
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,880
Probably a bit of a cunt.
204
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,920
Blimey, best medic ever!
I'm not going to fuck you.
205
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,640
You two vallon round the vehicle.
OK. On it.
206
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,400
He's been out for five minutes.
207
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,040
Five minutes? What? What is it?
208
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,160
You didn't draw
a cock and balls on his head?
209
00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:00,240
Well, I couldn't find a marker pen
amongst all this crap.
210
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,040
# I should be so lucky
211
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,640
# Lucky, lucky, lucky
212
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,120
# I should be so lucky in love. #
213
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,560
Bit of medical advice -
stop fucking singing
214
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,080
or I'll stab you in the larynx.
215
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:20,480
So, relief company's on their way,
still no secondaries.
216
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,800
Right. I'd best get some
evidence phots for the boss.
217
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,880
Oh, and, Bird,
good call with the medic,
218
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,400
you were probably right.
219
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,400
Probably right
or was actually right?
220
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,720
Sound similar
but are quite different.
221
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,720
OK. I just thought your judgment
was off cos you and Nick have, er...
222
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,880
Oh, Jesus Christ! It was one fuck.
223
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,560
Which is precisely one more fuck
than the amount of fucks
224
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,440
I give about Nick Medhurst
right now.
225
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,400
So will people please stop fucking
going on about it?!
226
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,400
Not over him.
227
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,720
Too right. Here, Simon,
pass us the forensic kit.
228
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,680
Sure thing, daddio!
229
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:03,960
Bloody hell, dickwad!
You are very welcome.
230
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,240
Fuck was that?
231
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:20,600
A punch. It's no your go.
Oh. I've got the punch.
232
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,120
Oh!
233
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:29,280
Fair play.
And you still owe me one so...
234
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,600
Oh, aye.
235
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,440
Oh!
236
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,280
It's no so good
when you're expecting it.
237
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,720
I wasn't expecting it.
238
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,160
But you just asked me to punch you.
239
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,800
Oh, aye.
240
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,040
So now you can punch me.
241
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,080
Brilliant!
242
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:52,120
No! You've got to do it
when I'm not expecting it.
243
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,120
Right. Are you expecting it now?
244
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,320
Aye!
245
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,640
Oh!
246
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,080
THEY GIGGLE
247
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,880
Oi!
It's for Weapons Intelligence.
248
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,800
WISWO! So you're saying we need
to look intelligent? Ooh, photo op.
249
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:12,960
No.
250
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,440
Oh, come on, Towerblock,
one for the album.
251
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,600
The day of destiny.
252
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,960
Nothing like a near miss
to put things in perspective.
253
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,520
A near miss, Simon,
or a direct hit?
254
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:27,040
Help us put aside
our petty squabbles.
255
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,080
Right.
256
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,880
Oh. Oh, actually, yeah,
that's a good idea.
257
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,800
Yeah, forgive and forget.
Oh, he's getting it.
258
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,160
So you, for example, won't be
259
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,400
at all bothered that
I broke your iPod speakers.
260
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,440
What?
Yeah, I mean, on a day like today,
261
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,640
that just doesn't matter,
does it?
262
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,680
Exactly. They're just speakers.
263
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,040
Big deal.
264
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,440
Sorry,
how exactly did you break them?
265
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,160
They just stopped working.
266
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,400
Sure, sure. Who cares?
267
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,160
They were quite robust those.
268
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,160
They're just some
high-street electronics
269
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,040
that you can replace for, what?
20 quid? Something like that.
270
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,040
They were £39.99, but whatever.
271
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,600
Glad to see we're discussing
the retail price of things,
272
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,200
rather than, I don't know,
273
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:14,120
say, The Taliban, secondary
devices, general warry shit.
274
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,520
Sorry. Anyway, I don't think
there'll be any secondaries,
275
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,920
not today. Not now Lady Luck
is playing our favourite...
276
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,560
Bird, secondary.
277
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,880
Mark and avoid.
278
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,680
Sorry, Simon, you were saying?
279
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,400
Well, it's... Bird, another one!
280
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,480
Two...
281
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:40,520
Of course there are secondaries,
Towerblock, this is Afghanistan
282
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,520
but we haven't been ambushed,
have we?
283
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,600
Nobody's shooting at us so...
284
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:48,280
BULLETS RICOCHET
Cover! Get down! Take cover!
285
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,280
Where the fuck are they?
Can anyone see?
286
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,880
They're bloody close.
287
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,080
Shit! They shot me
in the fucking head!
288
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,600
Technically, the helmet.
289
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,280
Lucky you, see?
290
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,760
Are you fucking mental?!
291
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,560
Not now, you fucking moron!
292
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,120
You said when you don't expect.
293
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,400
How many are there?
294
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,080
Half a dozen?
295
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,120
Eight?
296
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,120
Ten? Shit! Mac, rocket on me.
297
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,280
Enemies. Multiple ten, 150 metres.
298
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,320
RAPID FIRE!
299
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,160
Everything all right, loves?
Boss, get back inside!
300
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:43,840
No fucking heroics, Sir.
301
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,560
You need to be careful in case
there's a subcranial bleed.
302
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,560
I'm feeling both tickety and boo.
303
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,240
Yeah, that's the funny thing
about bleeding around the brain.
304
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:56,120
I had one recently. REME Sergeant
banged his head on a Jackal.
305
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,840
Out cold, came to,
306
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:01,480
lucid for about two hours
and then...he dropped dead.
307
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,600
SHE CHUCKLES
308
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,480
It's not VERY funny, is it?
309
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:07,800
Oh, you'll be fine...probably.
310
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,520
OK, we need to think
about an extraction plan, so...
311
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,160
INCOMING!
312
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,240
We've got minutes before they get
the aim right on those.
313
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,640
We are fucked!
314
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,280
Oh, fucking hell!
315
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:40,800
Man down! Medic!
316
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,200
Oh, shit!
317
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,360
Coming!
318
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:51,480
Don't operate any heavy machinery,
avoid stressful situations.
319
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,600
I'll do my best.
320
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,560
Private Sykes, down there.
321
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,440
We'll cover you. OK. Oh, if I die,
322
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,520
make sure Captain Medhurst
gets a scan. What for?
323
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:11,360
Subcranial bleed. You don't
want him to drop dead over dinner.
324
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:13,560
Unless it's jelly. Boing!
325
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,800
I should go.
326
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,280
Covering fire!
327
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,880
Where did you get shot,
you useless prick?
328
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,400
Nice day for it.
329
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,760
Boss, get back in the van!
We've got this.
330
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,000
Really? Cos it looks like
a gale-force shit storm
331
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,320
that you totally haven't got.
Incoming!
332
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,040
Jesus! Fuck me!
333
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,520
Taliban are moving.
They're trying to flank us.
334
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,800
Roger that.
335
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,680
What's that?
336
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,360
I'm getting
a sort of high-pitched whine.
337
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,440
What? Eh? Boss, you're concussed.
338
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,880
No, I'm fine
but I can definitely hear something.
339
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,000
Bird!
They're moving round the side.
340
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,560
Right, here's the plan -
341
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,760
we bugger the fuck off.
342
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,400
OK. We use the dead ground to
the north of that track,
343
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,880
keep our arses low, make our way
to those vehicles and...
344
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,080
Oh, fuck me!
345
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,360
OK, so let's not do that.
346
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:18,360
OK. New plan - we leave by that
road. Yeah, but it's riddled
347
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,040
with IEDs. That's because it's
the best route out.
348
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,160
We bring back Sykes,
I blow the devices in situ.
349
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,160
We get back to
base like fucking legends...
350
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,120
But you're... ..and whatever Mac was
imagining me doing with Mary,
351
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:29,360
I am totally doing with Mary.
352
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,760
Please tell me that is
not why you're going down there.
353
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,960
Of course not. Not entirely.
354
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,240
Towerblock, back me up!
355
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,640
He's in no state to start
fucking about with explosives.
356
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,520
You're right. She's right.
357
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,640
Look, Boss, we keep our position
here, the Apaches will be here soon.
358
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:46,320
And they will have a fantastic
view of a dead ATO, a dead bleep
359
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,160
and a dead...what does he do again?
360
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:49,840
You are fucked in the head, Boss!
361
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,720
I'm kidding, I'm fine.
362
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,960
No, you weren't!
The medic said you need a scan.
363
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,560
Oh, shit, I forgot my pocket MRI.
Right, PE7.
364
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,040
Whoa!
365
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,360
I just stood up too fast -
I am fine.
366
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:02,640
Boss...?
367
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,800
We're going to run short on ammo
if this carries on much longer.
368
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,600
Try hitting them, Skip.
369
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,120
Thank you, McDowell(!)
370
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,800
It's OK, everyone,
choppers are here!
371
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,040
NO ROTOR SOUND / ONLY GUNFIRE
372
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,200
No...
373
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,200
No, it was just that whining noise
again, it's gone.
374
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,360
Right - I'm going down.
375
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,800
You can't use a vallon,
your hearing's all over the place.
376
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,280
They do vibrate as well, you know.
I am as steady as a rock.
377
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,080
Enough twatting about now, Boss.
I'm coming down there with you.
378
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,760
One man risk. No.
This man, massive risk.
379
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,000
Two men, and we might just get
everyone out of here.
380
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,160
I do not need you!
381
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,680
I promise that I will not tell
the padre that you had help.
382
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,880
SHE SIGHS EXASPERATEDLY
383
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,000
All right, go get a vallon
and some PE7.
384
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,280
Happy? No!
385
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,600
Good. Right, we need both of those
two back here now.
386
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,400
Rocket! Go and give the Medic a hand
bringing back Sykes.
387
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,280
Roger that.
388
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,800
They're moving again.
389
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,400
In three - one, two, three.
Go, go, go.
390
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,320
Right, we need a metric
fuck-ton of covering fire.
391
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,800
Boss, this is insane!
392
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,520
Your mum is... Zing!
393
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,920
Right. I made that list.
394
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,440
Aye?
395
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:21,000
He's arrogant, doesn't listen,
self-obsessed,
396
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,640
sexually incontinent, childish, petty
397
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:27,200
and he keeps making stupid
jokes about being concussed.
398
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:31,560
If your list is that long, I don't
think you're over him at all.
399
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,840
Bollocks! Oh, I'm not, am I?
400
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:38,840
He's a lanky, posh twat
and I'm not bloody over him.
401
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,240
Shit! Fuck!
402
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,680
Argh! Shitting fucking fuckballs!
403
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:44,960
Told you.
404
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,320
Right, Boss, you're up.
405
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,280
Right, what's your advice now, then?
406
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,080
Let me guess, punch him in the head?
407
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,240
No, violence never solves anything.
408
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:05,960
If he goes on about Mary,
just nod and smile and move on.
409
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,680
Uh-huh.
Thanks for the girlie chat, Mac.
410
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,080
No bother.
411
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,920
So much easier with men.
412
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,200
And a gun.
413
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,320
What am I doing again?
414
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,640
Oh, yeah - bombs.
415
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:29,800
Erm...
416
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,760
Just stay still, would you?
417
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,040
Huh.
418
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,080
Home time!
419
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,160
You fucking ARE concussed!
420
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,080
What? No, it's dodgy oysters.
421
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,240
What?
422
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,080
Shit, get in the mastiff!
423
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:08,520
All right, all right!
424
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,480
Right, order of march.
Mac, you go point.
425
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,920
Grab the vallon,
search beyond the devices.
426
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,800
Simon, go last man.
Everyone squared?
427
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,840
Any questions?
428
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:35,320
Do I still have the punch?
429
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,680
Ah, look, the not-particularly-quick
Reaction Force is here.
430
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,000
Nick! Nick, are you all right?
431
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,320
Yeah, I'm fine, shut up.
432
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,280
GUNFIRE
433
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,280
Let's go, superstars!
434
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,640
Good work, Boss.
435
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,520
Genuinely can't remember what I did.
436
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,600
You will tell Mary what I did,
right?
437
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,480
HELICOPTER ROTORS WHIRR
438
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,240
Ah, now I can hear Apaches.
439
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,120
# You couldn't care less
440
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,280
# So I guess you won't
441
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,040
# Change your mind again. #
442
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,440
Home, sweet home.
443
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:42,400
Hello, Captain.
Wasn't expecting you back so soon.
444
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,160
This won't be smoked for hours.
445
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,160
Is that ham? Out here?
446
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,480
Ham-style goat.
447
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,560
Mmm, tasty.
448
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,400
Erm, yeah! Very tasty.
449
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,280
Worth every penny.
450
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,080
Is the padre in? I think so.
451
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,800
You need to see the medic.
452
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,160
Padre first.
453
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:00,280
Nick...
454
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,880
He needs to go to
Bastion for a scan.
455
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:07,360
Ah! The eternal bond between the ATO
and his bleep. Touching(!)
456
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:09,960
Carry on.
457
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,520
Sir.
458
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,400
# I'm not in love,
so don't forget it
459
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,920
# It's just a silly phase
I'm going through. #
460
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:22,840
Yes! Better!
461
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,000
Oh...
462
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:36,640
So, Mary...
463
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,320
Now, this isn't going to sound
like me and I don't think
464
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,400
it's the concussion talking,
and I am definitely not ruling out
465
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,920
another fantastic fuck
on the desk, but...
466
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,800
I've realised something today.
467
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:52,920
You and me, we've got...
468
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,480
..very little in common.
469
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:00,960
So you are...?
470
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,360
I'm the new padre, Keith Turnbull.
471
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,240
Is there anything I can help with?
472
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,440
Where's Mary...May...
Major Greenstock?
473
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,600
She requested a transfer. Urgently.
474
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,720
And now we know why.
475
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,040
Shit.
476
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,200
Really?
477
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:23,240
Bloody hell.
478
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,640
Here's your speakers. The light
comes on, but there's nothing doing.
479
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:35,560
Oh, yeah, sometimes the volume
resets to zero. Eh?
480
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,680
MUSIC: Beautiful Day
By U2
481
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,600
Hmm? See? Some days do just
work out for the best.
482
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,080
Here's to fate,
destiny and Lady Luck!
483
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,120
Jesus, ah!
484
00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:57,880
Shit! Fucking hell!
485
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,000
It's just not your lucky day,
is it, Simon?
486
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,960
Yeah, well, you owe me
£39.99, Towerblock. Nick!
487
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:07,880
They should be water resistant!
488
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:10,880
She's gone, Bird.
489
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,560
What?
490
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:13,800
Mary.
491
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,120
She's gone.
492
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:17,920
Really?
493
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,520
Shit, who am I going to take
the piss out of now?
494
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,160
Too soon?
495
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,280
I genuinely thought we could have...
496
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,640
Never mind.
497
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,160
Right, you. CAT scan.
Transport in ten.
498
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,040
Cheers. Hey, maybe
Mary's still at Bastion!
499
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,280
If I can find her, then...
500
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,880
Oh, Boss, if it wasn't for your
possible subcranial bleed,
501
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,960
I would punch you in the head.
502
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,760
What?! Instead, I've got to do this.
503
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,920
Oof!
504
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,720
Stop going on about fucking Mary!
505
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,160
Yes, I know.
506
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,200
I've just had
an idea for a new game -
507
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,840
kicking people in the balls!
508
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,040
OK.
509
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,560
Oh!
510
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,120
Brilliant.
511
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:08,520
MAC LAUGHS
37524
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof