Original subtitles

-Shot, shot! -We're working, you're doing shots?

-No, as if. -Is there anything I need to know about?

-We did everything right. -Transplant didn't work. It's incurable.

You have a patient with cancer.

I hate knowing Tasha's gonna die and there's nothing I can do about it.

I think Maleek might have been drinking on shift.

I really want us to move on from this, Maleek.

I wanna get re-partnered, Wendy.

[upbeat music playing]

Come on, Maleek, man, get up.

Get up. You've got this, bro.

[cell phone buzzes]

[tuts]

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Seem so much better With you ♪

♪ You make my life so sweet Make it all complete ♪

♪ I wouldn't be the same Without you ♪

Oh, done that, man.

Snake.

[opening theme music plays]

[tuts]

Bruv, I don't want your dead Mary Berry cookie, man.

And that should say a lot 'cause you know me, I love biscuits.

You went and told the SI panel that me, this here Maleek, was drinking on shift.

I know I did, and I was wrong.

Wendy, bad things happen to Black men when white women accuse them

of things they haven't done. Look at Kanye West.

He ain't spit one good bar since Kim K come and start running up her man.

Mm, it's a fair comparison. My booty's also broke the Internet.

-Do you think it's funny? -No.

Look, Jack's out of the coma. He's gonna be fine.

You've been cleared. So, please, can we just move on?

I am moving on, Wendy. I'm done-ing us.

Because if you really deep it, you don't trust me.

I do trust you, but you have to tell the SI panel every--

I'm not telling the SI panel shit, man.

Oi, Jo, I beg you get this snake away from me and tell me who my new partner is.

Yeah, bad news on that, mate. Uh, it was really short notice.

I tried, but, uh, all I could get was, uh, that dicksplash.

-Man like Lawrence? -Yeah.

-Don't play mind games with me. -I don't play mind games, Maleek.

-They're not really games, are they? -[Maleek cheers]

Man like Lawrence!

Yes, bruv. [laughs]

That's what I'm talking about! Yeah, you already know, bro. You already know.

-[Jo] Nope. -[Maleek] Haters, man.

Dirty Diana.

Jo-bot. Try not to leave this in the pub next time.

A hazardous area risky response for a bag?

Bit much even for you fanatics.

Hm. Couldn't help myself.

It's a HART thing. We go the extra mile.

Oh, underground in a hard hat. You lucky gits.

Jo, you were born to be a HART paramedic.

No, I was born for the army. Uh, everything else is just waiting for death.

Luckily for you, we are the army in an ambulance.

Next week, we've got a taster course for potential HART recruits.

You don't like it, you can come back to the granny lifters.

The Chinook takes off next week and I hope you're on it.

It's just a motorway journey in a hydra and a laguna, isn't it?

In here, maybe.

Not in here.

[upbeat music playing]

[siren wailing]

[George] Morning.

-Oh, George. -Hello.

Um, I wanted to ask you. I did the right thing with Maleek, didn't I?

I'm afraid only you can answer that.

Help me understand why you're asking?

'Cause some joker put this in my locker.

[Jo] Oh, mousetrap.

That was me, Wendy. 'Cause you're a rat.

You did the right thing, but you're still a rat.

-I'm not a rat. -You are a lying rat who waited to the last minute

to come clean. Classic rat behaviour.

Uh, maybe we can find some other language to express our feelings here.

I prefer "grass." You can go a bit Ray Winstone

on it, you know, drag it up from your guts.

-Grass. -You were there, Gary.

-What else was I supposed to do? -[Darryl] I'd have cut my tongue out first.

I would've cut out my heart, so it couldn't send blood to my tongue.

Okay, all right.

I am observing some exclusionary behaviour around Wendy here.

I suggest we reflect on ways that we can loop her back into the team dynamic.

Ahead of you there, George. I'm partnering with her 'cause I'm a great team leader

and I don't want some other mug getting stuck with her.

I'll ride with her.

-Aw, thanks, duck. -Oh. Aw.

-At least I've got one friend left. -Yeah.

You're a sociopathic bastard who chucked your partner under the bus, and I respect it.

[sighs] On second thoughts, I'll stick with Jo.

[reggae music playing]

[siren wailing]

♪ What is The human connection? ♪

It's good, this.

Rhythms, man. Good for the soul.

-I like me some reggae. -Yeah, man.

Oi, Jo proper burnt you like a cheap steak back there, man.

Well, ironically, cheap steak has a high water content,

which means it's less likely to burn than a more expensive cut.

[chuckles]

I meant your feelings with Jo, bruv.

Right.

-[groans] Bruv. Move, man! -[car horn honks]

Dickhead!

What's wrong with people, man?

[car engine starts]

What I like to do if this job's twisting my melon,

I like to indulge in a little something called throttle therapy.

I already know I don't wanna hear this.

I mount the iron horse, feel that hum between my thighs,

and ride the steed until the stress melts away. Yeah, you should try it.

I am not into that Fifty Shades or white people sex business, yeah?

Well, I'd break you in gently with a little side saddle.

Lawrence, man.

-On the motorbike. -Oh, so why didn't you start with that, then?

I thought I had to draw for some lube or something to bite down on.

It's just a chance for you to hit the open road and hang loose, you know?

Astride my silver beast.

-[upbeat music playing] -[ambulance siren wailing]

[knock on door]

[mouthing] Oh, come in.

-[EKG beeping] -[somber music playing]

How's she doing?

[inhales] I look like Gollum,

so how do you think I am, Dead Sheeran?

-[Kareshma giggles] -[Tasha's mom] Tasha.

Oh, it's all right. Doesn't mind, do you, Gaz?

-Not like she called him a ginger c-- -Kareshma.

See, Mom, this is why I can't have these drugs.

-They're killing my swag, so... -Aw, that's a shame.

You're gonna need some new ones for the many ways I whoop your ass at Mario Kart , mate.

Yeah, give it up, K.

I'll be dead before you're that good.

[somber music playing]

Come on, people. The gig is over.

Now, let's not make like the tour bus isn't ready

to whisk me away from the stadium.

[operator over radio] 448 Hotel Uniform, 35-year-old man,

Southville Park, suspected fracture.

448 Hotel Uniform received, over.

I'm sorry.

We best be off.

Will you come back later?

Fuck yeah, I'm coming back.

Good, 'cause I wanna give you my console

and things I should donate to the ward, but they're all massive pricks.

And you guys are just average-sized ones.

That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, madam.

Laters, loser.

[upbeat music playing]

I found her like that when I came to get her up.

I can't move the bed 'cause my top vertebrae's crumbled like feta cheese.

Mm. Do you have any bath towels that you could loop under her arm and lift her that way?

What? Nah, nah, nah, nah.

We need to boost Princess Vi up with the lifting cushion.

Might be some stealth snaps in them bones. I don't wanna chance it.

Lifting cushion? Isn't that a little bit thorough?

Lawrence, have you been in front of a serious incident panel

while they're sucking the marrow out of your bones and the bones of your unborn children?

-No. -Well, when you do, come and chat to me about thorough.

All right, Maleek. Let's do it your way.

[whirring]

Christ Almighty himself rose from the dead quicker than that.

[sighs]

[upbeat music playing]

[fly buzzing]

Frick off, you fricking fly!

It can smell your fear.

Just do what I do, picture it naked!

Get it off me! Get it off!

Holy hell.

I think the fly got some of my DNA and mutated.

Ah, don't worry. It's just a massive guy with a hammer and a bag of money.

Oh, thank God for that.

Wait, that means the fly is still out there.

[instrumental music playing]

-[Violet breathes deeply] -[Eileen] You all right, Vi, love?

[Maleek] Okay, look. You see this line here?

Yeah? I'd want it to be more like, um-um, um-um, um-um.

But with your girl Violet Beauregarde here,

it's more like, tss-ks-t-ks, um-ks-ks, umks-rargh.

-You get me? -[Lawrence] She's not complaining of chest pains.

And she is 90, so even with a little skippidy-bippidy-bow-bow,

I'd be happy to sign her back over to her primary care team.

Nah, but not before we do a full muscular skeletal exam,

'cause we like to be thorough, so we can twirl on our haters when they come for our necks.

You're not in the dock, Maleek.

I've got your back, little brother.

Great.

I beg you write down the results for me, then, my brudda.

[upbeat music playing]

[Wendy] Careful, Jo. This guy's a bit, er...

-An octopus? -No. He likes to cop a feel.

Cop a feel? Spit it out, Wendy, I don't speak 1970s.

Me and Maleek stand sort of back-to-back so he don't grab our bottoms.

Well, that's 'cause you're a couple of limp dicks.

-He won't dare try that with me. -All right.

So, Greg, dengue fever, is it?

Yes. Feels like the first flush of unbridled passion.

-Come on, Jo, we're going. -Wendy, I got this.

[Jo] All right.

[zipper zips]

[grunting]

[yelps, panting]

-Yeah, I can see that. -[Greg groaning]

Shit.

It's definitely looking like concussion.

We're gonna keep you here for a bit, okay, mate?

[Darrell] Your body's a real work of art, dude.

We were thinking of getting tattoos of each other's faces.

But I can't find anyone that'll do justice to Darrell's masculine beauty.

-Ah. -[police siren wailing]

Hey, hey, whoa there, big man.

-You're not going anywhere for now. -[indistinct radio chatter]

You two okay? You've just copped a proper naughty one.

Done our clean-up rates a right favour. Nice one.

No worries, officer.

[upbeat music playing]

[siren wailing]

[Maleek] Just try and lift.

Is that normal?

For Violet? Yeah.

-Is this normal? -For Violet, yeah.

Come on, Maleek. Let's close this out now.

Brexit time, lads. Is she staying or going?

-Staying. -Going.

Bruv, can you just trust me on this one?

-She's staying, Maleek. -Fine.

Actually, do you know what? It's not fine.

[tuts, groans]

Vi, you got two men fighting over you.

You lucky cow.

[engine starts]

Thanks a lot. Bye-bye.

No, no, no, no. Maleek!

Maleek!

Maleek!

[sighs]

[sobbing] Come on, man.

Come on. All right, come on.

Come on, Maleek, don't, don't.

[groans] No, not now. Bruv, not now, Maleek.

[exhales]

[Greg] I should report you for this.

Just punch me in the face, we'll say no more about it.

I'm not a barbarian. I'm not punching you anywhere.

[Greg inhales]

This is your fault, Wendy.

That wing nut reports me, I will have the higher-ups all over South Hill.

Right. There's only one thing for it.

[sighs] Sorry, Maleek. I'm gonna have to call this in to Jo.

[door opens]

-Calling an ambulance? -Ah.

No, Uber. Ambulance will take too long.

Not today. He's only parked round the back.

-Who? -Your mate.

[Maleek sobs] This is like work!

-What are you playing at? -Hm.

What if we'd got a call? Someone could've died.

-Yeah, I'm sorry. -[sighs]

Never go off in a sulk like that. Never.

I wasn't sulking.

I thought we were simpatico.

The fuck does that mean?

In tune.

Oi, Vi keeps pointing to her chest.

[upbeat music playing]

Your right hand in my back pocket for four seconds,

-and that's the end of it. -Really?

You're... you're... you're just gonna let me have a free hit?

Well, as long as you don't grass.

Wendy, you don't have to do this.

I know I don't.

-[mousetrap clicks] -Oh! [winces]

-Yes! -[laughs]

-Ow! [winces] -The mousetrap! Wendy, you mentalist!

It's called taking one for the team, Jo. [giggles]

Oh, Greg! That looked like it really hurt.

Bit sore? Yeah.

Probably need to see a paramedic for that.

We'll... we'll have to take you in.

Is there anyone other than your wife you can call

to come and look after your daughter? A neighbour?

Traveling circus?

No, but my wife won't be long.

Great. Let's go.

No, no. We can't just leave her.

Yeah, I'm not a monster.

I'll tie her laces together so she can't run off.

One of us will have to wait for Mom.

I can't deal with kids. They freak me the fuck out.

All right, I'll stay.

But don't blame me if you get stuck in A&E

and can't get to Tasha before visiting ends.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah, fine, whatever. I'll stay with the miniature moron.

Just hurry up.

[Gary] We're going to lift you up,

and then we're gonna walk you to the ambulance.

My colleague's going to stay with your daughter till your wife gets here.

[upbeat music playing]

[siren wailing]

[mimics air whooshes, clicks tongue]

Good call this afternoon, by the way.

Sorry I doubted you.

Nah, I don't blame you, Law.

I blame myself. I exposed myself to you.

-Mm, I don't think you did. -I came on too strong.

You know, I showed you my soft side where I keep all my feelings and slow jams

and them ting there.

You know, I thought it would be different with you.

I thought you'd actually trust me.

Turns out, you're just Wendy with a porn star mustache.

-I made a clinical judgment-- -Ah-da-da-da-da. It don't matter. It don't matter.

I learnt bear things from you today, my brudda.

Bear tings.

But it's time this hombre rides out alone.

I feel that.

But it can get lonely out there, my friend.

That's why I'm gonna hitch my wagon to Jo.

Adios, muchacho.

Adios, sombrero.

[upbeat music playing]

Hey, wait, you gotta drop me back.

Oi, Lawrence, after we get back to the depot...

Lawrence! Lawrence!

[siren wailing]

Thank you. I'm so sorry I'm late. Has she been good?

She tried to show me some of her dancing,

but, uh, don't worry, I shut that shit down.

Kareshma, come on!

-What? -Hurry, quick! It's Tasha!

[siren wailing]

[somber music playing]

For fuck sake. [sobbing]

No!

No!

We don't cry in front of the families, Kareshma.

[sobbing] I should've been here, Gary,

not dicking about on some scooter.

-I know. -I fucking hate this fucking job.

[sighs]

It's hard not to sometimes,

but this is the job.

And you're flipping well good at it,

-in your own potty-mouthed way. -[Kareshma sniffles]

So I'm gonna take you downstairs

and we're gonna sit and drink crappy coffee for as long as you need to.

I think I just wanna stay here for a bit.

Okay.

That works too.

[Kareshma sobbing]

I still can't stop shaking.

It's perfectly natural. You're just in a bit of shock.

Oh, yeah. I heard you dropkicked some roadman.

We got jumped by a fly.

Can you, um, give us the room, lads?

Yeah, we'll swing about. All right.

Oh, please, I bench-press heavier than you. Move.

I know, but then you wouldn't get to hear me say how truly sorry I am.

No cookies or slideshows. Just me, I'm afraid.

If I were a better partner to you,

I would've known that there was just no way you'd do that.

We wouldn't be in this mess.

Oh, Maleek.

Oh, duck!

Oh, duckie. It's all right.

-Look, come and sit down. It's all right. -It's not all right, though.

I'm so tired. [sobs]

With the panel and my dad.

Last year...

[sobbing]

I can't sleep.

I didn't even wanna get out of bed this morning.

Do you think you should talk to someone?

You know, like a close friend?

[sobs, sniffles]

Yeah, yeah.

I would.

Where am I gonna find one of them?

[somber music playing]

-Ooh! -[thuds]

[closing theme music plays]