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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,808 --> 00:00:02,749 Happy New Year! 2 00:00:02,849 --> 00:00:04,150 [man 1] I've not had any drugs. 3 00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:05,372 This man has definitely had a bag of drugs. 4 00:00:05,452 --> 00:00:06,513 Shots, shots! 5 00:00:06,613 --> 00:00:07,955 We're working and you're doing shots? 6 00:00:08,055 --> 00:00:09,477 -No, as if. -The wedding’s off. 7 00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:10,678 We’ll have to think of a different way 8 00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,280 I can stay in the country. 9 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,162 You know, he’s got a bench with her name on it. 10 00:00:14,262 --> 00:00:16,485 Shit, Wendy, we've done something bad! 11 00:00:16,585 --> 00:00:18,887 -Oh! -Fuck! 12 00:00:18,987 --> 00:00:21,370 Maybe, don’t rush into anything with anyone new. 13 00:00:21,470 --> 00:00:23,613 [funky music playing] 14 00:00:23,713 --> 00:00:25,055 [Woman] I've got a guy in a coma. 15 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:26,496 I told you we should have stayed. 16 00:00:26,596 --> 00:00:28,459 -It doesn’t look good. -[siren wailing] 17 00:00:28,559 --> 00:00:32,063 [crowd chanting] 18 00:00:32,163 --> 00:00:34,586 -[ball bouncing] -[grunting] 19 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:36,227 Oh, love football man. 20 00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:38,270 I almost went pro, you know, I had trials and everything. 21 00:00:38,370 --> 00:00:41,433 I used to go to football all the time. I loved it. 22 00:00:41,533 --> 00:00:45,879 The crowd, the chanting, wanker, wanker, wanker! 23 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,402 Yo, what are you doing, you know mad thing, don’t do that? 24 00:00:48,502 --> 00:00:52,366 I can’t help it. That’s why I had to stop going to Forest. 25 00:00:52,466 --> 00:00:54,649 I should be in there, man. The boys need me, 26 00:00:54,749 --> 00:00:56,571 I’m just here missing all the action. 27 00:00:56,671 --> 00:01:00,095 Action? At Palace, I doubt it. 28 00:01:00,195 --> 00:01:02,818 You're shit, you're shit, you're shit, you're shit! 29 00:01:02,918 --> 00:01:05,381 Wendy, do you want to get bottled fem? Stop doing that. 30 00:01:05,481 --> 00:01:08,064 -[laughing] -It’s not funny. 31 00:01:08,164 --> 00:01:10,707 Come on, Palace! 32 00:01:10,807 --> 00:01:12,790 -[ball bounces on cab's roof] -[Wendy] Oh! 33 00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:14,632 -It was Wendy. -It wasn’t me! 34 00:01:14,732 --> 00:01:16,474 Come back here, oh, you coward. 35 00:01:16,574 --> 00:01:18,997 You're going home in Wendy’s ambulance. 36 00:01:19,097 --> 00:01:25,264 [opening theme music plays] 37 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:42,624 [music plays from the radio] 38 00:01:42,724 --> 00:01:44,106 [chair scraping on the floor] 39 00:01:44,206 --> 00:01:47,269 Flight’s booked, mail redirected, 40 00:01:47,369 --> 00:01:48,911 horse riding lessons canceled. 41 00:01:49,011 --> 00:01:51,274 It’s really happening. We're both moving to Australia. 42 00:01:51,374 --> 00:01:52,556 Unless you don’t get your visa. 43 00:01:52,656 --> 00:01:53,917 That’s not gonna happen. 44 00:01:54,017 --> 00:01:56,760 -[both laughs] -[cellphone dings] 45 00:01:56,860 --> 00:02:00,685 Oh, got an e-mail. Thirty percent off at Gap. 46 00:02:00,785 --> 00:02:02,087 Oh, no! 47 00:02:02,187 --> 00:02:04,489 But you love Gap? 48 00:02:04,589 --> 00:02:07,393 -I didn’t get my visa. -No! 49 00:02:10,036 --> 00:02:12,138 Oh, it’s great about Gap though. 50 00:02:12,238 --> 00:02:13,500 Yeah, it’s a really good discount. 51 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,742 Yeah, I mean 25 percent is generous 52 00:02:15,842 --> 00:02:18,105 but 30 percent, that’s a steal. 53 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,628 Heart breaking about the visa though. 54 00:02:20,728 --> 00:02:23,151 [crowd chanting] 55 00:02:23,251 --> 00:02:25,994 I called into the hospital about Jack, 56 00:02:26,094 --> 00:02:28,157 you know, the lad from New Years. 57 00:02:28,257 --> 00:02:29,558 Still no change. 58 00:02:29,658 --> 00:02:30,920 Look, I don’t wanna talk about that. 59 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,081 Well, I do. 60 00:02:32,181 --> 00:02:33,323 We’re under investigation. 61 00:02:33,423 --> 00:02:35,004 For what? For doing our jobs? 62 00:02:35,104 --> 00:02:36,807 It’s hard enough this shit we have to put up with 63 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,048 and now we're being investigated 64 00:02:38,148 --> 00:02:40,090 for doing nothing wrong. Low it. 65 00:02:40,190 --> 00:02:42,934 We missed a heart attack and now a patient’s in a coma. 66 00:02:43,034 --> 00:02:45,256 Look, Wendy, the whole point of us signing up for today 67 00:02:45,356 --> 00:02:46,698 was a distraction, right? 68 00:02:46,798 --> 00:02:48,220 I don’t wanna think about that stuff. 69 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,942 Well, it’s all I can think about. 70 00:02:50,042 --> 00:02:52,144 I keep replaying it over and over. 71 00:02:52,244 --> 00:02:54,387 Well, fast forward to the bit where they say, 72 00:02:54,487 --> 00:02:57,230 we did nothing wrong, Maleek is a genuine hero 73 00:02:57,330 --> 00:02:58,552 and we're gonna put him on the... 74 00:02:58,652 --> 00:03:00,994 the London Ambulance buff thing calendar. 75 00:03:01,094 --> 00:03:02,556 Oh, not the calendar again. 76 00:03:02,656 --> 00:03:04,559 Whoa, why do firemen just get calendars? 77 00:03:04,659 --> 00:03:06,040 We deserve one. 78 00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:07,722 Look, if there’s anything you want to say 79 00:03:07,822 --> 00:03:09,044 about what happened, 80 00:03:09,144 --> 00:03:11,807 anything that could come back at us 81 00:03:11,907 --> 00:03:14,971 anything that you regret doing or taking? 82 00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:16,492 Wendy! 83 00:03:16,592 --> 00:03:20,757 Read my lips. I don’t want to talk about it. 84 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,462 [crowd cheering in a distant] 85 00:03:24,562 --> 00:03:26,424 I should be in there where the action is, man. 86 00:03:26,524 --> 00:03:28,466 Do you know what, bang this, we're getting in. 87 00:03:28,566 --> 00:03:29,627 How? 88 00:03:29,727 --> 00:03:33,652 Look, just stick with me and... And be cool. 89 00:03:36,896 --> 00:03:38,398 I said be cool. 90 00:03:38,498 --> 00:03:44,665 [music from the radio playing] 91 00:03:45,746 --> 00:03:47,889 Since when did Jo let people have the radio on? 92 00:03:47,989 --> 00:03:52,614 Oh, Jo’s not been in since New Year. 93 00:03:52,714 --> 00:03:56,298 I think she’s avoiding the depot since I ruined everything. 94 00:03:56,398 --> 00:03:59,382 [sighs] Well that sounds like you're catastrophizing. 95 00:03:59,482 --> 00:04:01,224 I’m sure whatever happened wasn’t that bad. 96 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:05,269 At New Year’s Jo kissed me and I didn’t kiss her back. 97 00:04:05,369 --> 00:04:07,311 I just froze and stood there with my mouth shut 98 00:04:07,411 --> 00:04:08,713 while she kept on kissing me. 99 00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:11,195 -Shit. -I wasn’t expecting it. 100 00:04:11,295 --> 00:04:13,038 Now, I don't know, she’s probably feeling... 101 00:04:13,138 --> 00:04:14,679 Humiliated, depressed, 102 00:04:14,779 --> 00:04:17,643 spiraling in a mix of shame and self-recrimination. 103 00:04:17,743 --> 00:04:19,044 I was gonna say bad. 104 00:04:19,144 --> 00:04:22,128 Yeah, bad, she is probably feeling bad. 105 00:04:22,228 --> 00:04:25,131 I had no idea she was interested in me in that way. 106 00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,934 Really, no idea? 107 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:30,057 You'd have thought she’d have given off some sort of signal. 108 00:04:30,157 --> 00:04:31,539 And after what you said, 109 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,181 well, I didn’t wanna hurt her, you know. 110 00:04:33,281 --> 00:04:35,864 Yeah, I can see where what I said 111 00:04:35,964 --> 00:04:39,508 might have, uh... Okay, shit. 112 00:04:39,608 --> 00:04:41,070 I really need to talk to her. 113 00:04:41,170 --> 00:04:43,152 Hmm, she’s not picking up her phone. 114 00:04:43,252 --> 00:04:45,635 She didn’t even reply to my text when I told her that tennis 115 00:04:45,735 --> 00:04:48,138 was a more physically demanding sport than rugby. 116 00:04:50,381 --> 00:04:52,083 [sighs] 117 00:04:52,183 --> 00:04:54,846 It just totally scrambled my brain. 118 00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:58,930 The idea that Jo is into me. 119 00:04:59,030 --> 00:05:01,453 It’s like finding a whole new room in your house 120 00:05:01,553 --> 00:05:03,496 that you didn’t know was there. 121 00:05:03,596 --> 00:05:07,300 A door hidden behind a fog of grief leading to a hallway 122 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,724 of mirrors and reflections and memories. 123 00:05:11,725 --> 00:05:13,727 You know. 124 00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:16,311 [clears throat] 125 00:05:16,411 --> 00:05:20,335 -[upbeat music playing] -[siren wailing] 126 00:05:25,061 --> 00:05:26,522 [dog barking in a distance] 127 00:05:26,622 --> 00:05:29,566 Gawd, when are people gonna learn? Exercise kills. 128 00:05:29,666 --> 00:05:32,770 [panting] 129 00:05:32,870 --> 00:05:35,373 Yeah, that looks pretty dislocated. 130 00:05:35,473 --> 00:05:36,574 We're gonna have to take you in. 131 00:05:36,674 --> 00:05:38,736 Not you. I want a British doctor. 132 00:05:38,836 --> 00:05:40,218 Whoa. [chuckles] 133 00:05:40,318 --> 00:05:42,541 Yeah, and I want a patient who isn’t a racist prick. 134 00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:44,022 But it looks like we both missed out. 135 00:05:44,122 --> 00:05:45,744 Kareshma and I are both British 136 00:05:45,844 --> 00:05:48,307 and we're not doctors, we're paramedics. 137 00:05:48,407 --> 00:05:49,789 Well, technically, 138 00:05:49,889 --> 00:05:52,192 I’m a paramedic and she’s a technician. 139 00:05:52,292 --> 00:05:53,794 'Cause when you start out as a trainee-- 140 00:05:53,894 --> 00:05:56,437 It’s alright Gary, you can treat him. 141 00:05:56,537 --> 00:05:58,359 Yeah, you give him that good British medicine. 142 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:01,042 I’m gonna go get us some coffees with your tax money. 143 00:06:01,142 --> 00:06:02,924 Ooh! 144 00:06:03,024 --> 00:06:07,490 [upbeat music playing] 145 00:06:07,590 --> 00:06:08,811 [Lawrence] I just have no idea 146 00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,494 that she had these feelings for me. 147 00:06:11,594 --> 00:06:14,377 I don't know why she’s so difficult to read. 148 00:06:14,477 --> 00:06:17,241 Like an ancient language or braille. 149 00:06:17,801 --> 00:06:19,664 Bro. 150 00:06:19,764 --> 00:06:22,427 Now she probably thinks I don’t care about her at all. 151 00:06:22,527 --> 00:06:24,830 -But what was I supposed to do? -[machine whirring] 152 00:06:24,930 --> 00:06:26,552 It’s like she’s been wearing a mask. 153 00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:28,233 [machine continues whirring] 154 00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:30,156 Maybe we all are. 155 00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:33,840 Maybe all of life is just one big masquerade, 156 00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:39,006 each of us trapped, trapped behind our shield. Too afra... 157 00:06:39,106 --> 00:06:41,689 -[crowd cheers in a distance] -[Maleek] Yes, my brudda. 158 00:06:41,789 --> 00:06:43,771 What’s good, you good, yeah, everything yeah, oh, right. 159 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,213 look, we need to get in there. 160 00:06:45,313 --> 00:06:46,535 Where’s your pass? 161 00:06:46,635 --> 00:06:48,377 You know the ambulance is the pass. 162 00:06:48,477 --> 00:06:50,619 Oh, come on, bruv. I’m not your bruv. 163 00:06:50,719 --> 00:06:52,662 Chill, man, what if there’s an emergency in there? 164 00:06:52,762 --> 00:06:54,624 No. I don’t come to the front door where you live 165 00:06:54,724 --> 00:06:56,546 and say, "Oh, oh, let me in." 166 00:06:56,646 --> 00:06:58,188 You don’t live here. You don’t where I live. 167 00:06:58,288 --> 00:07:00,471 Well, I know you don’t live in Selhurst Park. 168 00:07:00,571 --> 00:07:02,433 Hey, hey, hey, so you want to know where I live, 169 00:07:02,533 --> 00:07:04,355 so you can come and arrest my people? 170 00:07:04,455 --> 00:07:06,357 -No! -No, we're not the police. 171 00:07:06,457 --> 00:07:08,840 -That’s what police will say. -Why you being such a jobsworth? 172 00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:10,963 You think cause you're wearing that dead high viz 173 00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:13,406 you're some kind of bad man? 174 00:07:13,506 --> 00:07:15,448 Right, you need to move away, now! 175 00:07:15,548 --> 00:07:17,570 Okay, now! Move away or arrest me, hey. 176 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:20,694 I told you already, we're not the flipping police. 177 00:07:20,794 --> 00:07:22,736 Got to take this guy in. You two take our spots, 178 00:07:22,836 --> 00:07:24,298 corner of the home cell and Arthur Wait. 179 00:07:24,398 --> 00:07:25,660 -Take your spot, yeah? -Yeah. 180 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:29,184 Take your spot? Oh, oh, oh, my gee! 181 00:07:29,284 --> 00:07:32,468 [chuckles] 182 00:07:32,568 --> 00:07:34,029 -A while bitch. -Man, get up. 183 00:07:34,129 --> 00:07:35,191 Close the gates! 184 00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:36,632 Close the gates. 185 00:07:36,732 --> 00:07:42,899 [upbeat music playing] 186 00:07:46,824 --> 00:07:48,646 I've got him on the stretcher. 187 00:07:48,746 --> 00:07:51,409 I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for you more. 188 00:07:51,509 --> 00:07:54,473 [Gary] I should have done something. 189 00:07:59,759 --> 00:08:01,101 What are you doing? 190 00:08:01,201 --> 00:08:03,543 I’m taking the knee in support. 191 00:08:03,643 --> 00:08:04,985 Oh, thanks, Gary. 192 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:07,428 Thank you, I really, really appreciate that. 193 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:12,514 Oh, my God, BBC News say racism’s just ended. 194 00:08:12,614 --> 00:08:13,915 They don’t know what’s done it 195 00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:17,239 but do you think you taking the knee has... 196 00:08:17,339 --> 00:08:19,482 I just want to help. 197 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,764 You shouldn’t have to put up with this. 198 00:08:21,864 --> 00:08:25,048 No. I shouldn’t, but I do, Gary, a lot. 199 00:08:25,148 --> 00:08:26,730 Yeah, and it’s not just patients, 200 00:08:26,830 --> 00:08:29,734 it’s hospital staff, nurses, colleagues. 201 00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:32,216 I think it’s amazing that you turn the other cheek. 202 00:08:32,316 --> 00:08:34,419 No, I always get revenge. 203 00:08:34,519 --> 00:08:36,181 Yeah, I key their cars or spit in their tea 204 00:08:36,281 --> 00:08:38,103 or find out where their girlfriend works, 205 00:08:38,203 --> 00:08:40,546 take their girlfriend out for a drink, date their girlfriend 206 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:43,569 get their girlfriend into Scientology. 207 00:08:44,731 --> 00:08:46,673 We should refuse to treat him. 208 00:08:46,773 --> 00:08:48,876 Why? 209 00:08:48,976 --> 00:08:52,440 Oh, is that to make... To make you feel better? 210 00:08:52,540 --> 00:08:58,707 [upbeat music playing] 211 00:09:02,471 --> 00:09:04,774 Sorry, you, Angela speaking. 212 00:09:04,874 --> 00:09:06,416 I’m on edge here Angela. 213 00:09:06,516 --> 00:09:08,498 Angela, he hasn’t blinked for ages, 214 00:09:08,598 --> 00:09:10,621 that’s how you know he’s getting really wound up. 215 00:09:10,721 --> 00:09:12,143 My colleague here is a citizen 216 00:09:12,243 --> 00:09:14,185 that any country would be lucky to have. 217 00:09:14,285 --> 00:09:18,149 Oh, well, his criminal record disqualifies him from a visa. 218 00:09:18,249 --> 00:09:21,593 Oh, no, um, I didn’t write it down cause I-- 219 00:09:21,693 --> 00:09:22,595 I didn’t think you’d know. 220 00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:24,437 Yeah, we still know. 221 00:09:24,537 --> 00:09:28,161 We’re the government, we have these things called files. 222 00:09:28,261 --> 00:09:30,464 You've got a criminal record? 223 00:09:31,385 --> 00:09:33,387 Yeah. 224 00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:37,131 [crowd cheering] 225 00:09:37,231 --> 00:09:39,714 Come on, Palace! 226 00:09:42,918 --> 00:09:45,421 Excuse me, somebody’s fallen, can you come with me? 227 00:09:45,521 --> 00:09:46,622 Come on, Maleek. 228 00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:50,627 [crowd chanting and cheering] 229 00:09:50,727 --> 00:09:53,470 Just when we got a free kick as well, man. 230 00:09:53,570 --> 00:09:55,633 He looks bad. 231 00:09:55,733 --> 00:09:57,074 Let me check him. 232 00:09:57,174 --> 00:09:59,677 You better check yourself. I take the lead. 233 00:09:59,777 --> 00:10:02,721 Well, you know, it might not be such a bad idea if I did 234 00:10:02,821 --> 00:10:04,283 while we're under investigation. 235 00:10:04,383 --> 00:10:05,764 It wouldn’t be a bad idea 236 00:10:05,864 --> 00:10:07,246 if you stopped undermining me at my job. 237 00:10:07,346 --> 00:10:09,849 I did everything right. Now step off. 238 00:10:09,949 --> 00:10:13,593 Fine, Maleek’s just gonna check you over ducky. 239 00:10:16,677 --> 00:10:18,619 Oh, he doesn’t look very well. 240 00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,461 Anything I can do at all? 241 00:10:20,561 --> 00:10:21,903 Wendy, you speak old white person, 242 00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:23,585 please get this man out of here? 243 00:10:23,685 --> 00:10:25,227 Can you please just step back, Sir? 244 00:10:25,327 --> 00:10:26,749 I thought you might like a hand. 245 00:10:26,849 --> 00:10:29,271 What is this, question Maleek day or something? 246 00:10:29,371 --> 00:10:32,555 Big man, I know what I’m doing. You see these hands? 247 00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:34,077 These are healing hands. 248 00:10:34,177 --> 00:10:36,199 Now unless you're some sort of brain surgeon 249 00:10:36,299 --> 00:10:37,761 or something, you need to move. 250 00:10:37,861 --> 00:10:40,925 So, no, I am actually a brain surgeon. 251 00:10:41,025 --> 00:10:45,170 Alistair McBeal, senior clinical fellow in neurosurgery at Kings. 252 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,692 Oh. 253 00:10:46,792 --> 00:10:50,296 Oh, well, right, well, um, well, please step in. 254 00:10:50,396 --> 00:10:52,498 Wendy, why are you letting this ghost-looking man 255 00:10:52,598 --> 00:10:53,900 look after our patient? 256 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,622 'Cause he’s better qualified than us. 257 00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,184 The last time this brother looked at medicine 258 00:10:57,284 --> 00:10:58,826 was in the war. 259 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,948 Look, he’s probably gonna put leeches on our guy. 260 00:11:01,048 --> 00:11:02,029 [laughing] 261 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,431 That’s very funny. 262 00:11:03,531 --> 00:11:06,034 Uh, no, I am actually extremely competent at my job. 263 00:11:06,134 --> 00:11:09,718 Oh, it sounds like something’s happened. 264 00:11:09,818 --> 00:11:11,560 Oh, why don’t you go and watch the game 265 00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:13,943 and let me and Alistair deal with this? 266 00:11:15,705 --> 00:11:16,846 Okay, cool. 267 00:11:16,946 --> 00:11:18,288 Man’s gonna do that. 268 00:11:18,388 --> 00:11:20,170 But it’s not because of the football, 269 00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:22,453 I’m just gonna prove to you that you can’t do this 270 00:11:22,553 --> 00:11:24,135 without calling for my help. 271 00:11:24,235 --> 00:11:26,237 So... 272 00:11:27,839 --> 00:11:29,381 Anything you need, doctor? 273 00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:31,343 Should be fine. 274 00:11:31,443 --> 00:11:37,610 [upbeat music playing] 275 00:11:40,293 --> 00:11:41,555 We need to talk. 276 00:11:41,655 --> 00:11:42,956 [sighs] 277 00:11:43,056 --> 00:11:45,600 Fine, but no therapying me. 278 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,522 -Beer? -I’m a recovering alcoholic. 279 00:11:47,622 --> 00:11:49,764 Well, it’s only four percent, it’s not Stella or anything. 280 00:11:49,864 --> 00:11:52,167 Do you have anything non-alcoholic? 281 00:11:52,267 --> 00:11:54,430 Sure. Great. 282 00:12:02,959 --> 00:12:05,683 Oh, milk, great, thanks. 283 00:12:06,323 --> 00:12:08,386 Okay. 284 00:12:08,486 --> 00:12:10,869 So, George. 285 00:12:10,969 --> 00:12:12,751 I know what happened at New Year’s 286 00:12:12,851 --> 00:12:14,913 -and full disclosure. -Yep. 287 00:12:15,013 --> 00:12:16,796 I may have advised Lawrence 288 00:12:16,896 --> 00:12:18,918 not to rush into anything with you. 289 00:12:19,018 --> 00:12:20,920 And I feel really terrible about it. 290 00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:25,005 It was bitchy and spiteful but I just... 291 00:12:25,105 --> 00:12:26,807 I needed you to know. 292 00:12:26,907 --> 00:12:28,609 Please don’t hit me. 293 00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:29,690 [Jo grunts] 294 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:30,812 Ow! 295 00:12:30,912 --> 00:12:33,615 You snakey cow. 296 00:12:33,715 --> 00:12:36,819 Alright, yes, it was underhanded and petty. 297 00:12:36,919 --> 00:12:39,161 But that’s why I’m here, Jo. 298 00:12:40,042 --> 00:12:41,424 I’m so sorry. 299 00:12:41,524 --> 00:12:43,686 It’s not all your fault I guess. 300 00:12:46,209 --> 00:12:49,673 He chose to reject me. He’s the prick here. 301 00:12:49,773 --> 00:12:52,437 You’re just a bit less of a prick, but still a prick. 302 00:12:52,537 --> 00:12:54,559 Thanks. 303 00:12:54,659 --> 00:12:57,042 You can see yourself out, George. 304 00:12:57,142 --> 00:12:58,964 Your sofa’s like a rock by the way. 305 00:12:59,064 --> 00:13:02,308 Yeah, it’s, uh, sort of a bench. 306 00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,914 For Karen who loved this spot. Who’s Karen? 307 00:13:12,239 --> 00:13:14,502 Lawrence’s dead wife. 308 00:13:14,602 --> 00:13:19,147 Not as insane as it seems, George, um, yeah. 309 00:13:19,247 --> 00:13:22,071 I just stole it cause, uh, she was cockblocking me 310 00:13:22,171 --> 00:13:24,674 from the grave. It actually does sound insane. 311 00:13:24,774 --> 00:13:26,776 Wendy helped. 312 00:13:28,378 --> 00:13:30,200 [sighs] You were never gonna tell me 313 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:32,042 that you've got a criminal record? 314 00:13:32,142 --> 00:13:34,445 -I didn’t think it mattered. -You didn’t think it mattered 315 00:13:34,545 --> 00:13:37,088 that our entire relationship is built on a hill of lies? 316 00:13:37,188 --> 00:13:38,330 I was embarrassed. 317 00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:41,133 I was done for indecent exposure. 318 00:13:41,233 --> 00:13:42,334 You're a flasher? 319 00:13:42,434 --> 00:13:44,176 No. It was years ago. 320 00:13:44,276 --> 00:13:47,140 I was seeing this girl and we was out 321 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,102 and one thing led to another, 322 00:13:49,202 --> 00:13:50,504 I wanted to take things to the next level 323 00:13:50,604 --> 00:13:53,467 -if you know what I mean? -Yeah. 324 00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:54,708 No. 325 00:13:54,808 --> 00:13:55,910 We wanted to have sex. 326 00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:57,392 Oh! 327 00:13:57,492 --> 00:13:59,114 But we didn’t really have anywhere to go, 328 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,356 so we kind of did our business in the park 329 00:14:01,456 --> 00:14:03,078 and got caught by the police. 330 00:14:03,178 --> 00:14:05,281 You can’t ban a man from a country for that! 331 00:14:05,381 --> 00:14:08,324 Getting your cock out in public’s frowned upon. 332 00:14:08,424 --> 00:14:10,286 We live in strange times. 333 00:14:10,386 --> 00:14:16,293 -[upbeat music playing] -[engine revving] 334 00:14:16,393 --> 00:14:20,578 [music continue to play] 335 00:14:20,678 --> 00:14:21,820 Why is it still here? 336 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,983 Ah, I forgot, to be honest. 337 00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:29,949 Ah, I don’t have people over, so no one’s sat on it. 338 00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:32,051 No biggie. 339 00:14:33,413 --> 00:14:36,356 -You stole a memorial bench. -Yeah. 340 00:14:36,456 --> 00:14:39,640 -To get back at a dead woman -Yeah. 341 00:14:39,740 --> 00:14:41,823 For cock-blocking you. 342 00:14:43,024 --> 00:14:45,026 God. 343 00:14:47,149 --> 00:14:49,091 Oh, God, I am mental, aren’t I? 344 00:14:49,191 --> 00:14:52,015 Is that why you're here, am I being sanctioned? 345 00:14:52,115 --> 00:14:54,778 The outside of the big net. 346 00:14:54,878 --> 00:14:56,940 You're not mental, you're not being sanctioned, 347 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,943 don’t use big net, 348 00:14:59,043 --> 00:15:03,428 but you do see that having this bench is not rational? 349 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,832 I know it’s not rational but it’s Loz. 350 00:15:06,932 --> 00:15:08,433 Rational goes out the window 351 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:11,597 when I’m staring into that beautiful mustache. 352 00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:13,720 I just think, 353 00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:16,683 why can’t you sag off your dead wife and see me? 354 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,926 Okay, you need to stop focusing on Lawrence, 355 00:15:19,026 --> 00:15:22,289 he’s holding you back. You need to focus on Jo. 356 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:23,971 -Who’s he? -You. 357 00:15:24,071 --> 00:15:25,653 Oh, [gasps]. 358 00:15:25,753 --> 00:15:28,697 Now, you've got loads of good things in your life, right? 359 00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:30,459 -You’ve got a good job. -True. 360 00:15:30,559 --> 00:15:32,701 I am bloody good at my job. 361 00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,343 Yes, you are. 362 00:15:34,443 --> 00:15:37,547 [upbeat music playing] 363 00:15:37,647 --> 00:15:38,668 [engine revving] 364 00:15:38,768 --> 00:15:39,950 [metal clanking] 365 00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:41,031 Ow, careful, ow. 366 00:15:41,131 --> 00:15:43,514 Ow! Careful! 367 00:15:43,614 --> 00:15:47,599 It hurts when you bang it. 368 00:15:47,699 --> 00:15:49,761 Can you understand what I’m saying, love? 369 00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:51,723 Right, I’m sorry, but I've had it. 370 00:15:51,823 --> 00:15:54,206 You are not speaking to my colleague like that. 371 00:15:54,306 --> 00:15:56,469 She is a great medic. 372 00:15:57,910 --> 00:15:59,372 Well, a good one. 373 00:15:59,472 --> 00:16:02,776 And she deserves respect and civility at the very least. 374 00:16:02,876 --> 00:16:06,100 So, you are going to apologise or we are going nowhere. 375 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,343 [whistles] 376 00:16:08,443 --> 00:16:10,485 -Piss off ginger. -Okay. 377 00:16:12,127 --> 00:16:13,308 [clears throat] 378 00:16:13,408 --> 00:16:16,312 Gary, don’t worry. It’s fine. 379 00:16:16,412 --> 00:16:17,753 No, it’s not. 380 00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:19,856 You shouldn’t have to put up with that. 381 00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:25,843 Wait. 382 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:29,087 [keys rattling] 383 00:16:29,187 --> 00:16:30,568 Why don’t you drive? 384 00:16:30,668 --> 00:16:34,653 -[happy music playing] -[car horn honking] 385 00:16:34,753 --> 00:16:37,496 Sorry, I’m not used to the roads in this country. 386 00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:38,858 -[tires screeching] -[patient screams] 387 00:16:38,958 --> 00:16:42,061 Woman drivers hey, what are we like? 388 00:16:42,161 --> 00:16:44,905 -[screams] -[tires screeching] 389 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,367 [screaming] 390 00:16:48,649 --> 00:16:51,152 -[loud bump] -[music continue to play] 391 00:16:51,252 --> 00:16:52,554 [Kareshma] Speed bump! 392 00:16:52,654 --> 00:16:55,717 [crowd cheering and chanting] 393 00:16:55,817 --> 00:16:57,760 Some worrying focal neurological signs, 394 00:16:57,860 --> 00:17:00,863 so I want to check on arrival for a cerebra-spinal leak. 395 00:17:01,864 --> 00:17:02,926 He’s amazing. 396 00:17:03,026 --> 00:17:04,367 [running footsteps approaching] 397 00:17:04,467 --> 00:17:07,371 Quick, emergency. One of the players are injured. 398 00:17:07,471 --> 00:17:09,854 Oh, looks like someone needs a real hero. 399 00:17:09,954 --> 00:17:11,656 What do you think about that, old man? 400 00:17:11,756 --> 00:17:12,537 [laughs] 401 00:17:12,637 --> 00:17:15,260 I’m gonna meet a player. 402 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,862 Hey, do you reckon it’s Zaha? 403 00:17:16,962 --> 00:17:18,584 We’ll proper get along, you know, 404 00:17:18,684 --> 00:17:20,586 me and Wilf’s got that proper south London 405 00:17:20,686 --> 00:17:24,150 bad man ting going on, you get me. 406 00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:25,391 Changing room’s through here. 407 00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:26,793 [door opens] 408 00:17:26,893 --> 00:17:27,874 [Security laughing] 409 00:17:27,974 --> 00:17:29,196 [door closes] 410 00:17:29,296 --> 00:17:30,277 What the hell? 411 00:17:30,377 --> 00:17:32,199 [laughing] 412 00:17:32,299 --> 00:17:34,442 I told you you cannot come in. 413 00:17:34,542 --> 00:17:36,865 Who’s blowing kisses now, officer? 414 00:17:38,306 --> 00:17:40,329 That’s not even how you blow kisses you mug. 415 00:17:40,429 --> 00:17:42,091 Then phone the police. Stupid man. 416 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:45,655 [laughing] 417 00:17:45,755 --> 00:17:50,220 [crowd cheering] 418 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,262 [grunts] 419 00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:53,343 I miss her. 420 00:17:53,444 --> 00:17:55,447 I've not felt that since Karen. 421 00:17:56,848 --> 00:17:59,311 Jo’s just always been there. 422 00:17:59,410 --> 00:18:04,016 Sure, maybe I've taken her for granted a little bit. 423 00:18:04,937 --> 00:18:07,680 Like onions. 424 00:18:07,781 --> 00:18:09,082 You don’t really notice onions 425 00:18:09,182 --> 00:18:10,484 but take them away and what can you cook? 426 00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:11,845 -[soda can pops] -Nothing. 427 00:18:11,946 --> 00:18:13,006 Nothing without onions. 428 00:18:13,107 --> 00:18:16,150 [objects cracking] 429 00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:20,775 I’m back, okay? I’m in charge. 430 00:18:20,876 --> 00:18:22,697 Has anyone got a problem with that? 431 00:18:22,797 --> 00:18:24,620 Jo, how are you? 432 00:18:24,719 --> 00:18:28,264 It’s boss, not Jo, and I’m busy. 433 00:18:28,364 --> 00:18:29,947 Hi, boss. 434 00:18:30,046 --> 00:18:36,214 [upbeat music playing] 435 00:18:43,062 --> 00:18:44,442 [indistinct chatter] 436 00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:47,647 Heyo, you missed an amazing game. 437 00:18:47,746 --> 00:18:49,850 Five four and a red card. 438 00:18:49,949 --> 00:18:51,691 I got so excited I flashed a boob. 439 00:18:51,792 --> 00:18:53,974 I don’t think anyone noticed. 440 00:18:54,073 --> 00:18:55,696 Did you get to treat the player? 441 00:18:55,795 --> 00:18:57,098 Yeah, I sorted him, man. 442 00:18:57,197 --> 00:18:58,699 I even showed him some of my skills 443 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,382 because obviously he was like, "You need to turn pro" 444 00:19:01,483 --> 00:19:03,024 but I don’t really wanna talk about that. 445 00:19:03,124 --> 00:19:04,505 I’m done with football, man. 446 00:19:04,605 --> 00:19:08,190 -I've got you a nice hotdog. -Oh, thank you. 447 00:19:08,291 --> 00:19:09,793 [Wendy groans] 448 00:19:09,892 --> 00:19:11,715 Oh. 449 00:19:11,814 --> 00:19:13,716 I love football hotdogs. 450 00:19:13,816 --> 00:19:16,199 Even if they are mostly anus. 451 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:17,762 [gags] 452 00:19:17,861 --> 00:19:18,842 Disgusting. 453 00:19:18,942 --> 00:19:24,109 [rock music playing] 454 00:19:28,274 --> 00:19:30,095 Yeah, it’s a shit show. 455 00:19:30,196 --> 00:19:32,277 Don’t worry, I’m back now. 456 00:19:33,198 --> 00:19:36,463 No, not a holiday person. 457 00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:38,104 Go on holiday when you're dead. 458 00:19:38,205 --> 00:19:42,149 Costa del Grave. Cheers, mate. 459 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,993 You know, I feel like we really got somewhere today, Jo. 460 00:19:45,092 --> 00:19:46,675 Maybe we could try a fresh start? 461 00:19:46,774 --> 00:19:49,277 No, you still tried to shaft me over Lawrence, George. 462 00:19:49,378 --> 00:19:52,901 There’s a name for people like you in the army. Twats. 463 00:19:53,822 --> 00:19:55,324 Well, he’ll think twice 464 00:19:55,425 --> 00:19:57,167 before racially abusing a paramedic again, 465 00:19:57,266 --> 00:19:58,728 I’ll tell you that. 466 00:19:58,829 --> 00:20:00,771 I can’t believe he cried. 467 00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:05,176 Look, I just wish you can work without having to face this. 468 00:20:05,275 --> 00:20:06,777 It’s sweet that you care. 469 00:20:06,878 --> 00:20:08,740 But you're making all this about you. 470 00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,463 It’s a bit white saviour complex, 471 00:20:10,562 --> 00:20:13,265 so I’m sorry but you're actually being racist. 472 00:20:13,365 --> 00:20:15,908 I am so sorry. 473 00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:18,931 Alright, up. Come on, up you get. 474 00:20:20,494 --> 00:20:21,435 [grunts] 475 00:20:21,534 --> 00:20:22,996 Done with football, man. 476 00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,600 Well, at least it took our minds off the investigation. 477 00:20:25,699 --> 00:20:27,242 Right, bellends, 478 00:20:27,341 --> 00:20:29,004 just got an e-mail with a date for your investigation. 479 00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,365 A week next Friday. 480 00:20:30,466 --> 00:20:31,966 They're gonna want to know everything, 481 00:20:32,066 --> 00:20:33,609 so make sure you've got everything straight. 482 00:20:33,708 --> 00:20:35,572 Don’t worry, also do, 483 00:20:35,671 --> 00:20:39,216 because it could be a career ender. But stay calm. 484 00:20:39,315 --> 00:20:41,317 Laters. 485 00:20:45,402 --> 00:20:51,570 [closing theme music plays] 35418

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