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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,520
(sirens and upbeat music)
2
00:00:13,008 --> 00:00:15,028
- You have one tiny job, Spencer.
3
00:00:15,128 --> 00:00:17,307
Restock the ambulances.
4
00:00:17,407 --> 00:00:19,227
Gary is not your bloody assistant.
5
00:00:19,327 --> 00:00:20,267
- Oh, no, no.
6
00:00:20,367 --> 00:00:21,106
- My main character energy
7
00:00:21,206 --> 00:00:22,346
is feeling very attacked right now.
8
00:00:22,446 --> 00:00:24,146
Oh, you'll know when
I'm attacking you, son.
9
00:00:24,246 --> 00:00:25,905
I am a size eight, steel-cap boot
10
00:00:26,005 --> 00:00:27,945
for rearranging your vital organs.
11
00:00:28,045 --> 00:00:29,184
I'd rather deep fry my tits
12
00:00:29,284 --> 00:00:30,904
than have this useless
bastard in the depot.
13
00:00:31,004 --> 00:00:32,624
Take him on a ride along,
part of his training.
14
00:00:32,724 --> 00:00:33,483
- What do you mean, ride along training?
15
00:00:33,563 --> 00:00:34,343
That's not even a real thing.
16
00:00:34,443 --> 00:00:35,183
- Get him out of the depot
17
00:00:35,283 --> 00:00:38,062
before I punch him directly in the throat.
18
00:00:38,162 --> 00:00:40,462
- That does sound like a real thing.
19
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:43,121
(upbeat music)
20
00:00:59,437 --> 00:01:01,797
- I'm the only one who signs you off.
21
00:01:02,716 --> 00:01:03,536
- Bang, bang!
22
00:01:03,636 --> 00:01:05,636
- Fuck!?
23
00:01:06,195 --> 00:01:08,195
- Loz, I'm on a call.
24
00:01:09,715 --> 00:01:11,214
- Perhaps I should've used a silencer.
25
00:01:11,314 --> 00:01:13,794
- Makes no difference, I've
got hearing like an owl.
26
00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:16,993
- Parents evening with
June and the kid tonight.
27
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:21,452
(vocalises suspenseful music)
28
00:01:21,552 --> 00:01:23,971
Yeah, I might wear a tie.
29
00:01:24,071 --> 00:01:25,051
- Okay.
30
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,150
- With windmills on it.
31
00:01:28,350 --> 00:01:30,530
Let me guess you think that's
a big fat red flag, yeah?
32
00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:32,849
- Er, I think all ties are
a big fat red flag, Loz.
33
00:01:32,949 --> 00:01:34,089
- I meant the parents evening.
34
00:01:34,189 --> 00:01:36,788
- Err, no, sounds like you're in deep.
35
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:39,367
Good.
36
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,287
- Too deep, yeah?
37
00:01:41,387 --> 00:01:43,686
Get your arm bands on, you tuna melt.
38
00:01:43,786 --> 00:01:45,786
Loz is drowning in commitment.
39
00:01:46,986 --> 00:01:49,925
- Happy for you and,
what's her name, June.
40
00:01:50,025 --> 00:01:51,245
- Really?
- Yeah.
41
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,084
- Weird.
42
00:01:52,184 --> 00:01:53,324
You said, when she got me that watch,
43
00:01:53,424 --> 00:01:55,444
you said she was handcuffing
me into the afterlife.
44
00:01:55,544 --> 00:01:57,543
- Just banter, mate.
45
00:01:58,783 --> 00:01:59,722
- Parents evening.
46
00:01:59,822 --> 00:02:00,922
What's next, Loz?
47
00:02:01,022 --> 00:02:03,761
You're gonna get the kid's
name tattooed on your forehead?
48
00:02:03,861 --> 00:02:05,521
- Okay, that impression of me,
49
00:02:05,621 --> 00:02:07,161
drop it before I drop you.
50
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,260
- Fair enough.
51
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:11,700
- Oi!
52
00:02:12,339 --> 00:02:14,359
Bell-end of the year.
53
00:02:14,459 --> 00:02:16,158
You've been signing off my staff.
54
00:02:16,258 --> 00:02:18,398
- You know, I had a dream last night
55
00:02:18,498 --> 00:02:20,357
that we had a normal conversation.
56
00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:21,877
Hi, how are you sort stuff.
57
00:02:21,977 --> 00:02:24,077
It was so nice.
58
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,356
But, yes, yes.
59
00:02:25,456 --> 00:02:27,236
Those members of staff I signed off
60
00:02:27,336 --> 00:02:28,515
were completely burnt out.
61
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:29,355
- Yeah?
62
00:02:29,455 --> 00:02:31,755
That's how I feel after every
conversation with you, George.
63
00:02:31,855 --> 00:02:33,994
- Do you need me to sign you off as well?
64
00:02:34,094 --> 00:02:35,314
- I know you can't relate,
65
00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:36,833
but my staff have an important job
66
00:02:36,933 --> 00:02:38,753
and you cannot be signing
them off willy nilly
67
00:02:38,853 --> 00:02:40,353
because they have a headache.
68
00:02:40,453 --> 00:02:41,792
- But I can sign them off.
69
00:02:41,892 --> 00:02:43,892
And I will, if I have to, Jo.
70
00:02:45,171 --> 00:02:46,631
Have a lovely day.
71
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:49,330
(upbeat music)
72
00:02:55,729 --> 00:02:57,309
- Can I drive the ambulance?
73
00:02:57,409 --> 00:02:58,908
- You don't have a licence, babe.
74
00:02:59,008 --> 00:03:00,308
You failed your test, remember?
75
00:03:00,408 --> 00:03:01,208
- Yeah, and we all know why that is.
76
00:03:01,288 --> 00:03:03,507
Because I feel anxious
when I'm being judged.
77
00:03:03,607 --> 00:03:06,546
- Well with respect,
duck, he was the examiner.
78
00:03:06,646 --> 00:03:07,866
- Four five one papa kilo.
79
00:03:07,966 --> 00:03:10,105
Cat two, welfare check.
80
00:03:10,205 --> 00:03:10,945
- Copy that.
81
00:03:11,045 --> 00:03:11,785
(siren)
82
00:03:11,885 --> 00:03:12,625
- Ah, ahh, no!
83
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:13,785
No, sorry, can we not.
84
00:03:13,885 --> 00:03:15,064
That's so annoying.
- Oi!
85
00:03:15,164 --> 00:03:17,344
Never ever touch my sirens again.
86
00:03:17,444 --> 00:03:19,443
Yeah, certain men have died for less.
87
00:03:20,443 --> 00:03:21,823
(siren)
- Ah, ahh, no!
88
00:03:21,923 --> 00:03:23,062
No, I hate it, sorry.
89
00:03:23,162 --> 00:03:24,182
- Spencer, keep ramping with me.
90
00:03:24,282 --> 00:03:25,422
I'll just ban you from South forever.
91
00:03:25,522 --> 00:03:27,621
- How about, to keep the peace
92
00:03:27,721 --> 00:03:31,020
between my two favourite
mandems, we have them off?
93
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,340
We skip through the traffic
with the lights alone?
94
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,259
- Wendy, I know how to
make noodles in a kettle.
95
00:03:35,359 --> 00:03:37,939
I'm not scared to go prison
for deading your son.
96
00:03:38,039 --> 00:03:38,778
(siren)
- Oh!
97
00:03:38,878 --> 00:03:39,978
Okay.
98
00:03:40,078 --> 00:03:42,218
♪ You're gonna make
me, make me love you. ♪
99
00:03:42,318 --> 00:03:43,897
♪ Nothing at all. ♪
- Shut up!
100
00:03:43,997 --> 00:03:48,156
♪ (upbeat music) ♪
101
00:03:52,715 --> 00:03:55,215
- That's nice, that's good.
- Yeah.
102
00:03:55,315 --> 00:03:57,134
- Sorry to hear about your bracelet.
103
00:03:57,234 --> 00:03:58,094
I've lost things.
104
00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:58,934
- Yeah, we made them.
105
00:03:59,034 --> 00:04:00,173
They keep us together.
106
00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:01,213
- And what was it that you lost?
107
00:04:01,313 --> 00:04:03,333
Maybe we could help you look.
108
00:04:03,433 --> 00:04:05,932
- Karen, my wife.
109
00:04:06,032 --> 00:04:07,172
But at least you never have to say goodbye
110
00:04:07,272 --> 00:04:09,411
to lost things twice.
111
00:04:09,511 --> 00:04:11,511
Remember that.
112
00:04:13,150 --> 00:04:15,150
- I know where she is.
She's in the cemetery.
113
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,549
(upbeat music)
114
00:04:23,948 --> 00:04:25,287
- Give me that.
115
00:04:25,387 --> 00:04:26,567
- A word of advice.
116
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:27,847
How about you actually thank the people
117
00:04:27,947 --> 00:04:29,806
that peeled him off the
pavement and saved his life.
118
00:04:29,906 --> 00:04:31,126
- I'll drink that patient's bed pen
119
00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:33,705
before I thank you for doing
what you're paid to do.
120
00:04:36,465 --> 00:04:38,924
- I'll choke Merry Seacole the fuck out.
121
00:04:39,024 --> 00:04:40,364
- Keep me out of this.
122
00:04:40,464 --> 00:04:42,523
There are only two things
I'm scared of in this world.
123
00:04:42,623 --> 00:04:45,242
Nurses and, no, actually just nurses.
124
00:04:45,342 --> 00:04:49,021
- Gary, my dead Nan has
more testosterone than you.
125
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,721
- Whoa.
126
00:04:52,821 --> 00:04:55,720
- Luxury coffee, those little jelly beans.
127
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:58,599
No one gives paramedics diddly squat.
128
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,639
Oh no, Gary.
129
00:05:00,739 --> 00:05:01,638
Yes, Gary.
130
00:05:01,738 --> 00:05:03,438
Put them back.
131
00:05:03,538 --> 00:05:04,798
- All right, Gollum, chill.
132
00:05:04,898 --> 00:05:07,317
Nurses are like one step
up from GP receptionist.
133
00:05:07,417 --> 00:05:08,517
They do not deserve all this.
134
00:05:08,617 --> 00:05:13,396
- Kareshma, you cannot say
nurses don't deserve all this.
135
00:05:13,496 --> 00:05:16,035
- Oh, we don't deserve gifts, do we?
136
00:05:16,135 --> 00:05:16,875
God, no!
137
00:05:16,975 --> 00:05:19,394
You're gonna need God
after I finish with you.
138
00:05:19,494 --> 00:05:21,794
You pick the right day
to meet the wrong nurse.
139
00:05:21,894 --> 00:05:23,393
- Couldn't you be the right
nurse on the right day?
140
00:05:23,493 --> 00:05:27,752
- Fine, you picked the right
nurse on the wrong day for you.
141
00:05:27,852 --> 00:05:29,672
A stormy Tuesday.
142
00:05:29,772 --> 00:05:32,551
- Look, there's been some
terrible misunderstanding,
143
00:05:32,651 --> 00:05:33,391
um, Bev.
144
00:05:33,491 --> 00:05:35,550
- I'm sick of paramedics like you.
145
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:37,190
Thinking they're better than us.
146
00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:40,389
Don't forget, you lot are
basically just delivery drivers.
147
00:05:40,489 --> 00:05:42,069
- That's a bit steep, don't you think?
148
00:05:42,169 --> 00:05:44,388
Look, I'm gonna get my tea
and get out of your hair.
149
00:05:44,488 --> 00:05:45,868
- I think not.
150
00:05:45,968 --> 00:05:47,987
Us nurses, we connect with our patients.
151
00:05:48,087 --> 00:05:49,107
That's why we get gifts.
152
00:05:49,207 --> 00:05:51,066
You barely even know if
they're male or female.
153
00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:52,266
- Objection!
154
00:05:52,366 --> 00:05:53,506
That is a big fat lie.
155
00:05:53,606 --> 00:05:55,545
- Oh, is that right?
156
00:05:55,645 --> 00:05:57,945
(sniffs)
157
00:05:58,045 --> 00:06:00,104
Don't fuck with me.
158
00:06:00,204 --> 00:06:01,344
I can smell your fear.
159
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:02,504
And you're being seconds away
160
00:06:02,604 --> 00:06:05,023
from pissing your tight little y-fronts.
161
00:06:05,123 --> 00:06:06,783
- I'm wearing a hybrid pant, actually.
162
00:06:06,883 --> 00:06:09,462
The length of a boxer,
the support of a y-front.
163
00:06:09,562 --> 00:06:11,102
- Fight back, Gary, you got this.
164
00:06:11,202 --> 00:06:11,941
- Yeah.
165
00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:13,941
I'm gonna say two rude words now.
166
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,180
One beginning with S,
the other ending in T.
167
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:17,180
- Is this foreplay?
168
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,299
'Cause if so, I'm dry as a Ryvita.
169
00:06:20,399 --> 00:06:24,278
If you don't mind, I'm
going to the bathroom.
170
00:06:26,878 --> 00:06:28,257
(sucks her teeth)
171
00:06:28,357 --> 00:06:30,957
(upbeat music)
172
00:06:38,395 --> 00:06:40,395
- Oh, Jo.
173
00:06:40,794 --> 00:06:45,413
Jo, someone's made an
anonymous complaint against me.
174
00:06:45,513 --> 00:06:46,933
Against you?
- M-hm.
175
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:48,293
- Oh.
176
00:06:48,393 --> 00:06:50,212
Shall I put the kettle on?
177
00:06:50,312 --> 00:06:52,092
Maybe one of your rank teas'll
make everything better.
178
00:06:52,192 --> 00:06:53,891
- Apparently I'm offering
179
00:06:53,991 --> 00:06:56,890
happy endings to my
clients after sessions.
180
00:06:56,990 --> 00:07:00,450
- Don't you have like five sessions a day?
181
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,409
That's a lot of elbow grease, George.
182
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,129
- I don't do happy endings, Jo.
183
00:07:04,229 --> 00:07:05,288
- I see you every single day.
184
00:07:05,388 --> 00:07:07,448
You've never offered me one.
185
00:07:07,548 --> 00:07:08,328
I'm feeling a bit left out.
186
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:12,047
- Did you know they record
these complaint calls?
187
00:07:12,147 --> 00:07:13,207
Which means I'll be able to find out
188
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:15,206
who made these anonymous allegations.
189
00:07:15,306 --> 00:07:16,846
- Oh yeah?
190
00:07:16,946 --> 00:07:20,165
- The high ups, oh,
they think that a person
191
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,204
must have to be in a pretty dark place
192
00:07:22,304 --> 00:07:24,044
to make a prank complaint like that.
193
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:24,924
- Mm...
194
00:07:25,024 --> 00:07:25,883
Disagree.
195
00:07:25,983 --> 00:07:27,983
Sounds like a legend.
196
00:07:28,663 --> 00:07:31,022
- Any idea who it might be, Jo?
197
00:07:32,502 --> 00:07:34,281
- Your mum?
198
00:07:34,381 --> 00:07:35,161
- Okay.
199
00:07:35,261 --> 00:07:37,861
(upbeat music)
200
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,719
- Found his burner in his pocket.
201
00:07:42,819 --> 00:07:45,259
Enough coke to take down
the Wolf of Wall Street.
202
00:07:46,858 --> 00:07:47,958
- What's this bent yute doing?
203
00:07:48,058 --> 00:07:49,198
You're here to help us.
204
00:07:49,298 --> 00:07:51,037
- I'm helping the
collective us, Maleek, okay.
205
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,157
The dealer's a person of colour
206
00:07:52,257 --> 00:07:53,357
and you know better than anyone else
207
00:07:53,457 --> 00:07:54,277
how the police treats them.
208
00:07:54,377 --> 00:07:55,116
- Oh, please.
209
00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:57,356
It's not like he's the
police's target audience.
210
00:07:57,456 --> 00:07:58,955
You know they prefer a
much more darker hue.
211
00:07:59,055 --> 00:08:00,515
- What are you saying?
212
00:08:00,615 --> 00:08:01,835
I'm not an ethnic minority?
213
00:08:01,935 --> 00:08:03,474
- No, my brother, you're a G.
214
00:08:03,574 --> 00:08:04,874
I'm just saying that it's-
215
00:08:04,974 --> 00:08:07,913
- In the minority Olympics, are
you top of the middle table?
216
00:08:08,013 --> 00:08:08,833
Disgusting.
217
00:08:08,933 --> 00:08:09,713
- You really can't talk
218
00:08:09,813 --> 00:08:10,993
outside of your lived experience, Maleek.
219
00:08:11,093 --> 00:08:12,112
And that's coming from me.
220
00:08:12,212 --> 00:08:14,032
A cis, pan, leisure and tourism grad.
221
00:08:14,132 --> 00:08:16,631
- Look, I'm just saying,
in the police eyes,
222
00:08:16,731 --> 00:08:19,031
yeah, I'm more of a bruda brother.
223
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:22,110
And you are more of a, you're a bruh.
224
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,909
- Na, I'm sorry, I'm not
gonna accept that either.
225
00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:27,069
The Met has done a closed
internal investigation
226
00:08:27,169 --> 00:08:29,708
and we have come to the
conclusion that we are not racist.
227
00:08:29,808 --> 00:08:31,428
- Oh, well I guess that
solves everything then.
228
00:08:31,528 --> 00:08:32,827
- Right, enough.
229
00:08:32,927 --> 00:08:35,787
Spencer, go and get the
oxygen and the gurney please.
230
00:08:35,887 --> 00:08:36,746
- Not now, Mum.
231
00:08:36,846 --> 00:08:38,506
I'm busy using my white
privilege for good.
232
00:08:38,606 --> 00:08:40,106
You should try it sometime.
233
00:08:40,206 --> 00:08:41,665
- I'd have never spoke
to my dad like that.
234
00:08:41,765 --> 00:08:44,784
- Maleek, I'm a builder
parent, not a breaker parent.
235
00:08:44,884 --> 00:08:47,064
- Well you need to break your
kids before other people do.
236
00:08:47,164 --> 00:08:49,543
Spare the rod, you spoil the child.
237
00:08:49,643 --> 00:08:50,423
Watch.
238
00:08:50,523 --> 00:08:52,523
Spencer, go and get oxygen now!
239
00:08:54,082 --> 00:08:54,862
Told you.
240
00:08:54,962 --> 00:08:57,521
(upbeat music)
241
00:08:58,521 --> 00:09:01,740
(horn blaring)
242
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:02,600
- That wouldn't have happened
243
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:03,680
if I had my bloody friendship bracelet.
244
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,139
- Bro, you need to let it go.
245
00:09:05,239 --> 00:09:06,579
You're almost mowed down a pensioner.
246
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,579
- At least then I'd feel something.
247
00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:09,378
I'm numb.
248
00:09:09,478 --> 00:09:10,218
- It's just a bracelet.
249
00:09:10,318 --> 00:09:11,698
- Why don't you shut your god damn mouth
250
00:09:11,798 --> 00:09:14,137
before I drive this
ambulance through Taco Bell.
251
00:09:14,237 --> 00:09:15,017
When I go back to Australia,
252
00:09:15,117 --> 00:09:17,496
how am I gonna feel
connected to you without it?
253
00:09:17,596 --> 00:09:18,856
- Nothing can break our connection.
254
00:09:18,956 --> 00:09:19,996
You know, I'm getting
rid of this bracelet.
255
00:09:20,076 --> 00:09:20,836
I'm taking it off.
- How dare you?
256
00:09:20,916 --> 00:09:21,975
What are you doing?
257
00:09:22,075 --> 00:09:23,695
No bracelet, no friendship.
258
00:09:23,795 --> 00:09:25,854
No friendship, no lifelong memories
259
00:09:25,954 --> 00:09:27,614
lulling me as I go to sleep.
260
00:09:27,714 --> 00:09:31,253
That's when the fire
takes over, the brimstone,
261
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,613
the demons emerge and enter my mind.
262
00:09:33,713 --> 00:09:35,172
I go crazy.
263
00:09:35,272 --> 00:09:35,972
They locked me up.
264
00:09:36,072 --> 00:09:37,092
I escape.
265
00:09:37,192 --> 00:09:39,771
I start selling illegal
DVDs down by the docks.
266
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:40,811
They try to arrest me.
267
00:09:40,911 --> 00:09:43,690
I end up killing two policemen, good guys!
268
00:09:43,790 --> 00:09:44,770
They're family men!
269
00:09:44,870 --> 00:09:45,890
- I'll keep the bracelet.
270
00:09:45,990 --> 00:09:48,589
(upbeat music)
271
00:09:49,669 --> 00:09:51,768
- Oh!
272
00:09:51,868 --> 00:09:52,888
My arm.
273
00:09:52,988 --> 00:09:53,728
(handcuffs click)
274
00:09:53,828 --> 00:09:55,607
- Oh, come on, treat
him like a person first.
275
00:09:55,707 --> 00:09:57,687
- Right, let's go.
276
00:09:57,787 --> 00:10:00,006
- Spencer, do you want to
play the wait in the van game
277
00:10:00,106 --> 00:10:01,766
whilst we get our bags?
278
00:10:01,866 --> 00:10:03,845
- Are you absolutely
bonkers and also mental?
279
00:10:03,945 --> 00:10:05,725
I'm not waiting in there
with a drug dealer.
280
00:10:05,825 --> 00:10:07,644
One time at a festival I bought weed.
281
00:10:07,744 --> 00:10:09,164
Okay, they gave me a full bag of thyme,
282
00:10:09,264 --> 00:10:10,124
I vaped the whole thing,
283
00:10:10,224 --> 00:10:11,963
and I'm not being dramatic, I nearly died.
284
00:10:12,063 --> 00:10:13,963
- Oh, he's a person first, remember.
285
00:10:14,063 --> 00:10:16,522
- Spencer, the winner of
the waiting the van game
286
00:10:16,622 --> 00:10:18,782
gets a new iPad case.
287
00:10:21,581 --> 00:10:22,321
See?
288
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:24,240
Creative parenting really does work.
289
00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:26,440
- And, while we are waiting
for our escort to the hospital,
290
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,079
I want an apology.
291
00:10:28,179 --> 00:10:30,119
Accusing me and my
colleagues of being racist.
292
00:10:30,219 --> 00:10:31,678
- Yeah, I want an apology
from you and your colleagues
293
00:10:31,778 --> 00:10:33,078
for being racist.
294
00:10:33,178 --> 00:10:34,158
Check mates.
295
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:35,558
- Defund the police!
296
00:10:35,658 --> 00:10:37,897
(laughing)
297
00:10:38,897 --> 00:10:41,696
- He'd be running faster
if he was a bruda brother.
298
00:10:47,575 --> 00:10:50,074
- Us paramedics, we don't ask for much.
299
00:10:50,174 --> 00:10:51,994
We get paid even less.
300
00:10:52,094 --> 00:10:53,673
We're out here peeling
bodies off the pavement.
301
00:10:53,773 --> 00:10:56,952
We literally put our lives
on the line, day in, day out.
302
00:10:57,052 --> 00:10:59,712
We're the unsung heroes of the NHS.
303
00:10:59,812 --> 00:11:01,811
And what do we ask for?
304
00:11:02,171 --> 00:11:04,830
A cuppa and a bickie
at the end of each job.
305
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,070
- Yeah.
- But what do we get?
306
00:11:06,170 --> 00:11:07,630
- Well, we get our six weeks-
- It was rhetoric question.
307
00:11:07,730 --> 00:11:08,909
Don't ruin my flow.
- Sorry.
308
00:11:09,009 --> 00:11:10,709
- We get a punch in the face, Gary.
309
00:11:10,809 --> 00:11:12,189
- We do, yes.
- Spat at.
310
00:11:12,289 --> 00:11:13,308
- I have been many times all the time.
311
00:11:13,408 --> 00:11:14,148
- Abused!
312
00:11:14,248 --> 00:11:15,868
- All the time.
- Well not today!
313
00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:18,707
- No, no.
- No more, Satan.
314
00:11:18,807 --> 00:11:19,547
We rise.
315
00:11:19,647 --> 00:11:20,547
- Yes, we rise.
316
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:21,946
- You need to stand to that nurse, Gary,
317
00:11:22,046 --> 00:11:24,546
and you need to do it soon!
318
00:11:24,646 --> 00:11:27,245
(upbeat music)
319
00:11:32,044 --> 00:11:34,043
- What the fuck is he...
320
00:11:36,123 --> 00:11:38,022
- Look at the son of Lucifer.
321
00:11:38,122 --> 00:11:39,542
- This is why I told
you to give him licks.
322
00:11:39,642 --> 00:11:40,342
- To be honest,
323
00:11:40,442 --> 00:11:42,861
it's the closest I've ever
been to licking is bottom.
324
00:11:42,961 --> 00:11:44,261
- What?
325
00:11:44,361 --> 00:11:46,020
- A lick means slap, no?
326
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,700
- Yeah, but, Wendy, the
way you just said it,
327
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,980
it sounded a little bit
mogudu, I'm not gonna lie.
328
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,619
- Spencer, I don't think you
realise how serious this.
329
00:11:52,719 --> 00:11:55,138
If this guy doesn't get
the treatment he needs,
330
00:11:55,238 --> 00:11:56,378
he could lose his arm.
331
00:11:56,478 --> 00:11:58,697
- Exactly, he won't be able
to play PlayStation again.
332
00:11:58,797 --> 00:11:59,737
That's a death sentence.
333
00:11:59,837 --> 00:12:01,177
- Do you know, I'm
surprised at you, Maleek.
334
00:12:01,277 --> 00:12:02,616
I thought you would've understood.
335
00:12:02,716 --> 00:12:03,536
- Why is that?
336
00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:06,895
- Well, I presumed, as a bruda,
337
00:12:06,995 --> 00:12:09,335
you would've been pro
the liberation of a POC
338
00:12:09,435 --> 00:12:10,615
by the corrupt arms of the law.
339
00:12:10,715 --> 00:12:12,894
- Yo, he was a drug dealer who,
340
00:12:12,994 --> 00:12:15,413
high on his own supply, crashed the car.
341
00:12:15,513 --> 00:12:16,773
He's lucky he didn't kill anyone.
342
00:12:16,873 --> 00:12:18,853
All you needed to do
was watch him, you fool.
343
00:12:18,953 --> 00:12:20,252
- I did watch him.
344
00:12:20,352 --> 00:12:22,692
And after getting to know
him, I was able to look past
345
00:12:22,792 --> 00:12:26,051
the label that society had
put on his head as dealer.
346
00:12:26,151 --> 00:12:28,210
- Spencer, I am really struggling
347
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:29,730
to deal with you right now.
348
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:32,009
- Oh, dry your white woman tears, Mum.
349
00:12:32,109 --> 00:12:33,049
I don't regret anything.
350
00:12:33,149 --> 00:12:36,688
I guess, for you, Maleek, not
all skin folk are kin folk.
351
00:12:36,788 --> 00:12:37,928
- Bruv, he was flippin' Asian!
352
00:12:38,028 --> 00:12:40,007
- And here we go with the Asian hate.
353
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:40,807
Do y'know,
354
00:12:40,907 --> 00:12:43,527
your voice is starting to sound
like those sirens, ne-naw!
355
00:12:43,627 --> 00:12:44,566
No thank you.
356
00:12:44,666 --> 00:12:46,806
- Hey, Wendy, I'm sorry, but
I gotta fuck up your son.
357
00:12:46,906 --> 00:12:47,965
(thump)
- Oh!
358
00:12:48,065 --> 00:12:50,065
- Yeah, ne-naw, ne-now!
359
00:12:50,425 --> 00:12:52,424
I'm gonna beat you like your mum didn't.
360
00:12:53,824 --> 00:12:55,484
- Yeah, come on then, big boy.
361
00:12:55,584 --> 00:12:56,923
- What's he doing?
362
00:12:57,023 --> 00:12:57,803
- Yeah, bitch.
363
00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:59,123
Come on.
364
00:12:59,223 --> 00:13:00,882
- You need to get your son.
365
00:13:00,982 --> 00:13:01,722
(thump)
- Ah!
366
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:04,242
You fucking scratched my
eye, you little prick!
367
00:13:04,342 --> 00:13:05,641
(yelling)
368
00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:07,601
(thump)
369
00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:08,600
- Scratch time, baby!
370
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,700
(thump)
371
00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:14,799
- How'd you like that, bitch?
372
00:13:14,899 --> 00:13:16,239
- Oh!
373
00:13:16,339 --> 00:13:18,338
- Your mama.
374
00:13:18,858 --> 00:13:21,457
(upbeat music)
375
00:13:30,095 --> 00:13:34,034
- So which one you want to
keep, the left or the right?
376
00:13:34,134 --> 00:13:34,994
- I'm sorry?
377
00:13:35,094 --> 00:13:36,034
- Testicle.
378
00:13:36,134 --> 00:13:38,313
'Cause I'm now about to
rip one out with my teeth
379
00:13:38,413 --> 00:13:40,633
and shove it down your partner's throat.
380
00:13:40,733 --> 00:13:41,592
- I'm vegetarian.
381
00:13:41,692 --> 00:13:43,592
Gary, let's just make your tea and go.
382
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,692
- No.
383
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:48,351
You can't rush a brew.
384
00:13:48,451 --> 00:13:51,310
And you've taught me that
you can't rush freedom.
385
00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:53,190
- Nobody touch me kettle.
386
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,429
- You think you're gonna
get the last laugh?
387
00:13:55,529 --> 00:13:57,789
Well, think again Missy,
388
00:13:57,889 --> 00:13:59,888
because I will not surrender.
389
00:14:05,247 --> 00:14:07,266
Oh, delicious.
390
00:14:07,366 --> 00:14:09,266
(gargling)
391
00:14:09,366 --> 00:14:10,106
Milk!
392
00:14:10,206 --> 00:14:12,205
Kareshma, get milk!
393
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,864
(gargling scream)
394
00:14:15,964 --> 00:14:18,564
(upbeat music)
395
00:14:20,323 --> 00:14:22,503
- Ow, man!
396
00:14:22,603 --> 00:14:25,382
I swear that youth's got
the fingernails of a pimp.
397
00:14:25,482 --> 00:14:26,902
- He's had them since he was born.
398
00:14:27,002 --> 00:14:29,981
It was like breastfeeding
Edward Scissorhands.
399
00:14:30,081 --> 00:14:31,300
If you saw the state of my boobs
400
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,620
you'd think I was a self harmer?
401
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:33,740
- Oh, please.
402
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,339
Gonna need hypnosis from George
403
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,059
to get that dirty image out my head.
404
00:14:37,159 --> 00:14:39,279
- Oh, I'm so sorry, Maleek.
405
00:14:40,238 --> 00:14:42,098
He man handled you.
406
00:14:42,198 --> 00:14:43,817
I couldn't watch.
407
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:45,857
Threw you around like a rag doll.
408
00:14:45,957 --> 00:14:46,657
- Are you tapped?
409
00:14:46,757 --> 00:14:49,376
Brother boxed your youth
left, right, up, down,
410
00:14:49,476 --> 00:14:51,136
all the way across the Irish Sea, fam.
411
00:14:51,236 --> 00:14:53,255
- Now your lips bleeding.
- Ah!
412
00:14:53,355 --> 00:14:54,335
Well at least you can agree
413
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,014
that you need to be tough on him.
414
00:14:56,114 --> 00:14:56,814
You gotta tell him
415
00:14:56,914 --> 00:14:59,214
that his behaviour was
completely unacceptable.
416
00:14:59,314 --> 00:15:01,333
Also, you'd better tell him
that if I catch him in South
417
00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:03,253
he's leaving in an air ambulance, bruv.
418
00:15:03,353 --> 00:15:04,113
- I'm gonna think of something
419
00:15:04,193 --> 00:15:06,292
that's gonna really teach him a lesson.
420
00:15:06,392 --> 00:15:09,571
Something even your dead dad
up in heaven'd be hollering,
421
00:15:09,671 --> 00:15:11,691
"Go, Wendy, go, Wendy, go, Wendy."
422
00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:12,970
- Yo!
423
00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:15,270
Don't put words in my
dead dad's mouth ever.
424
00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:18,189
Excuse me.
425
00:15:25,427 --> 00:15:28,027
(upbeat music)
426
00:15:33,505 --> 00:15:36,205
- Gather round, please, bell ends.
427
00:15:36,305 --> 00:15:37,724
Ah, okay.
428
00:15:37,824 --> 00:15:41,523
I have received an anonymous tip off,
429
00:15:41,623 --> 00:15:45,283
which led me to investigate a locker.
430
00:15:45,383 --> 00:15:49,761
To my shock and
disappointment, and total joy,
431
00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:53,581
I have discovered a bag of sniff.
432
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,500
Spencer.
433
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,299
It was your looker.
434
00:16:00,939 --> 00:16:02,938
- Drug dealer.
435
00:16:03,538 --> 00:16:06,117
- Alongside this ugly bracelet.
436
00:16:06,217 --> 00:16:08,217
- I think I'm gonna come.
437
00:16:09,017 --> 00:16:12,636
- Jo, I swear on my Twitter
account it's not my drugs.
438
00:16:12,736 --> 00:16:14,515
- Never had you down as
a coke head, Spencer,
439
00:16:14,615 --> 00:16:18,075
more of a glue sniffer,
so I'm actually impressed.
440
00:16:18,175 --> 00:16:20,174
- Does that mean I'm not fired?
441
00:16:21,734 --> 00:16:22,833
Double check it's not thyme.
442
00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:24,673
- You have got five minutes
to get out of my depot
443
00:16:24,773 --> 00:16:25,953
before I call the filth.
444
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:28,152
- Mum, we can fight this.
445
00:16:28,252 --> 00:16:30,152
Remortgage the house,
sell all your belongings,
446
00:16:30,252 --> 00:16:31,551
assemble a legal team, please.
447
00:16:31,651 --> 00:16:33,151
- We all make mistakes, darling.
448
00:16:33,251 --> 00:16:34,191
- But I didn't!
449
00:16:34,291 --> 00:16:35,630
- You don't need to lie to me.
450
00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:37,990
I've already forgiven you.
451
00:16:38,090 --> 00:16:42,029
Spencer, this is so, so sad for me.
452
00:16:42,129 --> 00:16:44,828
Well take this moment,
go back to Nottingham,
453
00:16:44,928 --> 00:16:48,347
and find out what you really want in life.
454
00:16:48,447 --> 00:16:50,507
- You're right.
455
00:16:50,607 --> 00:16:52,606
- You're right.
456
00:16:55,366 --> 00:16:56,705
- Wowser.
457
00:16:56,805 --> 00:16:58,465
(chatting)
458
00:16:58,565 --> 00:16:59,705
Oh, sorry, I actually,
459
00:16:59,805 --> 00:17:02,584
I need the keys to the
flat now I think about it.
460
00:17:02,684 --> 00:17:04,683
- There you go, go on.
461
00:17:06,043 --> 00:17:09,022
- Oh, and my official Apple charger.
462
00:17:09,122 --> 00:17:11,642
If I get too far from it,
my throat starts to itch.
463
00:17:12,841 --> 00:17:15,141
Can anyone give me a lift?
- Fuck off.
464
00:17:15,241 --> 00:17:17,840
(upbeat music)
465
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,739
- Oh, before you go,
466
00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:24,079
I got the recording of those complaints.
467
00:17:24,958 --> 00:17:26,958
You might recognise the voice.
468
00:17:28,158 --> 00:17:30,297
- [Deep Voice] I was just telling her
469
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:32,137
about my dead mum
470
00:17:32,237 --> 00:17:37,215
and then she offered me a happy ending.
471
00:17:37,315 --> 00:17:38,615
- It's terrible, isn't it?
472
00:17:38,715 --> 00:17:40,575
- [Bad Scottish Accent]
She just would not stop
473
00:17:40,675 --> 00:17:43,294
thrashing me in my session.
474
00:17:43,394 --> 00:17:44,894
I just wanted to talk.
475
00:17:44,994 --> 00:17:46,993
Now I'm scarred.
476
00:17:50,712 --> 00:17:53,052
- I anonymously withdrew
those anonymous complaints.
477
00:17:53,152 --> 00:17:54,811
- Oh, why, Jo?
478
00:17:54,911 --> 00:17:56,251
I was having such fun guessing.
479
00:17:56,351 --> 00:17:58,570
It was between you and Gary
and Gary was edging it.
480
00:17:58,670 --> 00:17:59,770
- Stop signing off my staff
481
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,969
and I will stop implying
you're a sex pest.
482
00:18:02,069 --> 00:18:03,289
Easy peasy
483
00:18:03,389 --> 00:18:05,129
- Just because you don't understand
484
00:18:05,229 --> 00:18:07,228
doesn't mean it isn't so.
485
00:18:07,788 --> 00:18:09,688
Take on just some of my methods
486
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,647
and I can stop signing people off.
487
00:18:11,747 --> 00:18:13,167
- I've got a better idea.
488
00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:14,726
You get the hell outta my depot.
489
00:18:14,826 --> 00:18:16,126
I'd understand that.
490
00:18:16,226 --> 00:18:18,126
- [Radio] Three five eight lima charlie,
491
00:18:18,226 --> 00:18:20,565
PRU driver Lawrence Kerr has
had a road traffic accident.
492
00:18:20,665 --> 00:18:21,585
He's on blues to South Field A&E.
493
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:23,664
- Lozer, shit!
494
00:18:25,264 --> 00:18:27,263
(siren)
495
00:18:30,263 --> 00:18:32,342
(crying)
496
00:18:49,618 --> 00:18:52,537
(ragged breathing)
497
00:19:09,653 --> 00:19:10,473
(screams)
498
00:19:10,573 --> 00:19:12,432
- Ow, oh!
499
00:19:12,532 --> 00:19:13,472
What you doing.
500
00:19:13,572 --> 00:19:15,352
- Loz!
501
00:19:15,452 --> 00:19:16,711
Shit!
502
00:19:16,811 --> 00:19:20,230
I thought you were fucking dead!
503
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,230
- I'm just slightly winded
504
00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:24,349
and a possible cracked rib now, thank you.
505
00:19:24,449 --> 00:19:25,909
Loz, what are you doing
506
00:19:26,009 --> 00:19:27,109
playing silly boards under the covers.
507
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:29,628
- Just trying to get some kip.
508
00:19:29,728 --> 00:19:31,748
The curtains here are
practically transparent.
509
00:19:31,848 --> 00:19:32,587
- What?
510
00:19:32,687 --> 00:19:35,267
Which is why at home I've
invested in Gothic shutters.
511
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:38,786
A hundred percent blackout
made from rare Lithuanian pine.
512
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,825
(laughing)
- Oh, Loz.
513
00:19:40,925 --> 00:19:41,625
- What?
514
00:19:41,725 --> 00:19:42,665
Why are you laughing?
515
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,465
- You gave me a proper
fright, you knobhead.
516
00:19:44,565 --> 00:19:46,064
- Just twisted my ankle.
517
00:19:46,164 --> 00:19:47,664
I fell off my bike.
518
00:19:47,764 --> 00:19:48,904
A few minor bruises,
519
00:19:49,004 --> 00:19:50,463
but they gave me some
very nice painkillers.
520
00:19:50,563 --> 00:19:53,342
The doctor said I was the
luckiest man in Lewisham
521
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,762
Which is a possible
contradiction in terms.
522
00:19:56,802 --> 00:19:58,941
(Jo laughs)
523
00:19:59,041 --> 00:20:01,540
- So what's June doing
out there ugly crying?
524
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:02,840
Shall I tell her to go
and pull herself together?
525
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,119
- Oh, we just parted ways
on the river of destiny.
526
00:20:06,959 --> 00:20:09,698
- Oh, mate.
527
00:20:09,798 --> 00:20:11,338
(exhales)
528
00:20:11,438 --> 00:20:13,538
Having a proper stinker, huh?
529
00:20:13,638 --> 00:20:15,937
- Well, it wasn't my decision.
530
00:20:16,037 --> 00:20:17,497
- Oh yeah?
531
00:20:17,597 --> 00:20:19,896
Well what happened, Loz?
532
00:20:19,996 --> 00:20:24,015
- Well, I mean, we had
moments of happiness together.
533
00:20:24,115 --> 00:20:25,735
- Well not many.
534
00:20:25,835 --> 00:20:29,294
- But when we were together
I just wished I was alone.
535
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,293
- Oh course, course, Loz,
536
00:20:30,393 --> 00:20:32,653
don't want that albatross
round your neck, do you?
537
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:34,732
- Yeah.
538
00:20:34,832 --> 00:20:35,572
New beginnings.
539
00:20:35,672 --> 00:20:36,372
- Yeah.
540
00:20:36,472 --> 00:20:37,892
- The harvest is coming.
541
00:20:37,992 --> 00:20:39,371
- Yeah.
542
00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:44,410
♪ Sew the seeds, young lad ♪
543
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:49,449
♪ Sew the seeds, young lass ♪
544
00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:52,328
♪ Sew the corn ♪
545
00:20:52,428 --> 00:20:54,988
♪ Sew the body ♪
546
00:20:57,827 --> 00:20:59,646
- We'll blame that on all
the morphine you're on, hey?
547
00:20:59,746 --> 00:21:02,586
(chuckles)
- Yeah.
548
00:21:03,625 --> 00:21:04,765
Well, I don't wanna keep you
549
00:21:04,865 --> 00:21:06,645
if you've got some
important you need to...
550
00:21:06,745 --> 00:21:07,604
- No, Loz!
551
00:21:07,704 --> 00:21:09,644
Always got time for you, you dingbat.
552
00:21:09,744 --> 00:21:11,124
Budge up.
553
00:21:11,224 --> 00:21:13,223
- Ow!
- Oh, bad leg?
554
00:21:14,223 --> 00:21:15,962
You hungry?
555
00:21:16,062 --> 00:21:18,062
- Um...
556
00:21:18,662 --> 00:21:19,841
- Got chicken fingers.
557
00:21:19,941 --> 00:21:21,841
- I'm sorry to hear that.
558
00:21:21,941 --> 00:21:22,801
- Hey?
559
00:21:22,901 --> 00:21:25,720
- They don't look that bad.
560
00:21:25,820 --> 00:21:27,820
You got me, Loz.
561
00:21:28,299 --> 00:21:30,979
(upbeat music)
39146
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