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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,817
(siren wailing)
2
00:00:00,917 --> 00:00:04,157
(mellow melodic music)
3
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:20,420
- One move and it's your brains
4
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,620
all over the SteriWipes, Loz.
5
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,721
- I don't want no trouble, ma'am.
6
00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:28,921
I just want a suction tube,
some cloth tape and...
7
00:00:30,842 --> 00:00:32,502
Some saline solution.
8
00:00:32,602 --> 00:00:34,502
(Jo imitating gunshot)
Ah!
9
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,543
(Jo imitating gunshot)
10
00:00:36,643 --> 00:00:38,823
Why?
11
00:00:38,923 --> 00:00:41,823
(Jo imitating gunshot)
12
00:00:41,923 --> 00:00:42,904
You just shot yourself.
- Yeah,
13
00:00:43,004 --> 00:00:44,984
I'm not doing time for you, Loz.
14
00:00:45,084 --> 00:00:46,824
- Ow! (groaning softly)
15
00:00:46,924 --> 00:00:47,944
- Oh, Loz, are you alright?
16
00:00:48,044 --> 00:00:51,145
- Yeah, just a little
posterior thigh strain.
17
00:00:51,245 --> 00:00:51,985
- Oh.
18
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:54,466
- June's into pony play,
she spent the evening
19
00:00:54,566 --> 00:00:57,146
mounting me as a palomino
horse called Mr. Major.
20
00:00:57,246 --> 00:00:59,346
My fault, 'cause I didn't
properly brace for impact.
21
00:00:59,446 --> 00:01:01,347
- Jesus, that's messed up.
- Not as messed up
22
00:01:01,447 --> 00:01:05,587
as you're gonna be, Little Missy Lady.
23
00:01:05,687 --> 00:01:07,788
- It's not even loaded.
24
00:01:07,888 --> 00:01:09,748
- Oh, really? (tongue clicking)
25
00:01:09,848 --> 00:01:11,988
Never turn your back
on the Lozenge of Doom.
26
00:01:12,088 --> 00:01:13,389
(door clicking)
27
00:01:13,489 --> 00:01:14,989
- Well, hello, Lawrence.
28
00:01:15,089 --> 00:01:17,229
- Oh, hi, George.
29
00:01:17,329 --> 00:01:19,330
See you, Jo.
30
00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:24,290
- So REACT training?
31
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,751
- Reactions like this, I
don't need training, George.
32
00:01:27,851 --> 00:01:28,911
- Or I could just tell your boss
33
00:01:29,011 --> 00:01:30,832
that you're refusing a
mandated mental health scheme.
34
00:01:30,932 --> 00:01:32,792
- Fortunately, George, I've
got some real training to do
35
00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:35,792
with the new re-stocker,
so I don't have time.
36
00:01:35,892 --> 00:01:37,953
(door thudding)
(door locking)
37
00:01:38,053 --> 00:01:43,054
♪ Oh, ooh ♪
38
00:01:43,654 --> 00:01:47,154
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
39
00:01:47,254 --> 00:01:48,475
♪ Yeah ♪
40
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:51,915
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
41
00:01:52,015 --> 00:01:53,555
♪ Yeah ♪
42
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,996
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
43
00:01:57,096 --> 00:01:58,396
♪ Yeah ♪
44
00:01:58,496 --> 00:01:59,996
- Oh, allow it, Jo, man.
45
00:02:00,096 --> 00:02:01,477
- You're not taking an ambulance
46
00:02:01,577 --> 00:02:03,517
to a knife crime workshop,
they're too valuable.
47
00:02:03,617 --> 00:02:05,197
- And we are not?
- Exactly.
48
00:02:05,297 --> 00:02:08,398
Now don't take all day, but try
to inspire these young minds
49
00:02:08,498 --> 00:02:09,638
to stop knifing each other
50
00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:11,638
and get me some new paramedic recruits.
51
00:02:11,738 --> 00:02:14,519
- Wendy, this is the whitest
car ever made, blood,
52
00:02:14,619 --> 00:02:16,599
I can't go to no hood school in this.
53
00:02:16,699 --> 00:02:18,159
You are proper violating me, man
54
00:02:18,259 --> 00:02:20,520
and I'm too hungover for this.
- Oh good night?
55
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:22,880
- Worst, yesterday would've
been my dad's birthday.
56
00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:26,001
- Oh, you never said, you
haven't spoken about him in ages.
57
00:02:26,101 --> 00:02:28,161
- It's not that deep, bruv.
58
00:02:28,261 --> 00:02:30,721
I did this little thing for
him at the pub for his mates,
59
00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:32,122
but they just kept rinsing me out,
60
00:02:32,222 --> 00:02:33,842
because I still live
at home with my mother.
61
00:02:33,942 --> 00:02:36,562
They're like, "Puff Puff, you are a blight
62
00:02:36,662 --> 00:02:38,683
on the hallowed memory of your father."
63
00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,603
- Puff Puff, why do they call you that?
64
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:42,243
- I didn't say Puff Puff.
(Wendy laughing)
65
00:02:42,343 --> 00:02:43,684
I said Puff Puff.
- Ooh!
66
00:02:43,784 --> 00:02:45,884
- They're calling me a
fried dumpling, blood.
67
00:02:45,984 --> 00:02:48,644
They think 'cause I don't have
enough money, I ain't shit.
68
00:02:48,744 --> 00:02:50,525
- Well, I hope you told
them where to flipping go.
69
00:02:50,625 --> 00:02:54,405
- Are you mad? I'm Nigerian
and they're my elders.
70
00:02:54,505 --> 00:02:57,086
I paid the bill, bowed my head
and asked for their blessing.
71
00:02:57,186 --> 00:02:59,646
But it's cool, 'cause
today I'm gonna smash it
72
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,647
and I might even ask Jo for a promotion.
73
00:03:01,747 --> 00:03:03,767
- [Wendy] Right, well,
get in the car, Puff Puff.
74
00:03:03,867 --> 00:03:05,807
- Look, I beg you take
the back roads, man,
75
00:03:05,907 --> 00:03:06,667
(car door thudding)
this car is crap.
76
00:03:06,747 --> 00:03:09,488
- Oh, come on, get in,
it's gonna be great.
77
00:03:09,588 --> 00:03:12,328
(melodic upbeat music)
78
00:03:12,428 --> 00:03:14,629
♪ What up ♪
79
00:03:15,949 --> 00:03:18,009
- Tasha's had her bone marrow transplant,
80
00:03:18,109 --> 00:03:20,810
apparently her pick line's a bit dodge.
81
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:23,270
- Okay, so we go in,
82
00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:26,691
no eye contact, no sudden movements
83
00:03:26,791 --> 00:03:28,211
and I know this is gonna be hard for you,
84
00:03:28,311 --> 00:03:30,611
but please give her no reason to attack.
85
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,172
(ambulance doors clicking)
86
00:03:33,272 --> 00:03:34,892
- Thank God you're here.
87
00:03:34,992 --> 00:03:36,492
(ambulance doors thudding)
88
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:38,213
- I thought you'd be cross,
89
00:03:38,313 --> 00:03:41,933
seeing as we flambed Tasha's
comics on our last visit.
90
00:03:42,033 --> 00:03:44,014
- I don't care who they send,
91
00:03:44,114 --> 00:03:46,934
it's just nice to have
someone, anyone else here.
92
00:03:47,034 --> 00:03:51,015
We've been stuck in isolation
together since the transplant.
93
00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:53,975
(Claire sobbing)
94
00:03:54,075 --> 00:03:55,215
She hates me.
95
00:03:55,315 --> 00:03:59,256
- It happens, she's just
lashing out at the caregiver.
96
00:03:59,356 --> 00:04:01,497
She doesn't hate you.
- Oi!
97
00:04:01,597 --> 00:04:03,737
They're here for me, why are
you leaving them out there?
98
00:04:03,837 --> 00:04:05,937
I could be literally dying up here.
99
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,818
What's wrong with you?
100
00:04:07,918 --> 00:04:08,858
(window thudding)
101
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,958
- Well, she definitely hates you.
102
00:04:12,678 --> 00:04:15,019
(melodic orchestral music)
103
00:04:15,119 --> 00:04:18,839
- Oh, it looks gorgeous, wowser, so posh.
104
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,100
Wake up, Puff Puff, we're here.
105
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,821
- Hm.
106
00:04:25,921 --> 00:04:27,981
- Oh, I can't wait to do my rap.
107
00:04:28,081 --> 00:04:30,461
- Oh God, no please, please.
108
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:31,782
These young brothers are going through
109
00:04:31,882 --> 00:04:34,462
a knife crime epidemic,
they've suffered enough.
110
00:04:34,562 --> 00:04:36,562
- There's no brothers here.
111
00:04:39,203 --> 00:04:42,623
- What, away, are you sure
this is the right place?
112
00:04:42,723 --> 00:04:44,504
- It's lovely, isn't it?
113
00:04:44,604 --> 00:04:47,144
Oh, can you imagine me
in a place like this
114
00:04:47,244 --> 00:04:49,344
fumbling about in Hugh
Bonneville's breeches?
115
00:04:49,444 --> 00:04:50,865
- Ugh!
- I haven't had a good fumble
116
00:04:50,965 --> 00:04:53,945
since Spencer got here,
not even with myself.
117
00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:54,985
- Hey, please.
118
00:04:55,085 --> 00:04:57,706
- No one's been down my
abbey for a long time,
119
00:04:57,806 --> 00:04:59,066
I can tell you that.
- No, do not tell me,
120
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,386
I don't wanna know.
121
00:05:00,486 --> 00:05:02,107
Why are we even doing a workshop here?
122
00:05:02,207 --> 00:05:03,267
Posh people get everything, man,
123
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:04,507
we can't even have our own crime
124
00:05:04,607 --> 00:05:05,627
without them taking that too.
125
00:05:05,727 --> 00:05:07,788
- We treat without judgement , remember?
126
00:05:07,888 --> 00:05:09,108
- These lot don't need me.
127
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:12,388
Ain't no duke shanking up some
next duke in a postcode war.
128
00:05:12,488 --> 00:05:14,189
- [Girls] Good afternoon.
129
00:05:14,289 --> 00:05:15,429
- Afternoon.
130
00:05:15,529 --> 00:05:20,530
♪♪
131
00:05:22,810 --> 00:05:23,870
♪♪
132
00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:28,391
- Okay, Jo, as I said before, REACT,
133
00:05:28,491 --> 00:05:31,671
recognise, engage, actively listen,
134
00:05:31,771 --> 00:05:34,272
check risk and talk are a framework
135
00:05:34,372 --> 00:05:36,752
for a mental wellness
conversation with your staff,
136
00:05:36,852 --> 00:05:38,633
which is why I think it's so important,
137
00:05:38,733 --> 00:05:40,633
that you've added words of your own.
138
00:05:40,733 --> 00:05:42,033
- Got it, George.
139
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,134
- Okay.
140
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:46,754
Great, Jo.
141
00:05:46,854 --> 00:05:48,114
- Thanks, George.
- Really mature.
142
00:05:48,214 --> 00:05:49,234
- Sorry I'm late or whatever.
143
00:05:49,334 --> 00:05:51,675
No one would give up their
seat for me on the bus.
144
00:05:51,775 --> 00:05:54,315
Pensioners can be so
entitled, don't you think?
145
00:05:54,415 --> 00:05:56,476
(Spencer clears throat)
146
00:05:56,576 --> 00:05:58,916
I'll be fine, I just, I just
need somewhere to decompress.
147
00:05:59,016 --> 00:06:00,516
- How about the stock cupboard,
148
00:06:00,616 --> 00:06:03,957
where you should've been hours ago?
149
00:06:04,057 --> 00:06:05,397
- Indoor voice please, I'm an HSP.
150
00:06:05,497 --> 00:06:07,877
- What the fuck's an HSP?
151
00:06:07,977 --> 00:06:09,958
- Highly sensitive person.
- That's not a thing.
152
00:06:10,058 --> 00:06:11,118
- I self-identify as one.
153
00:06:11,218 --> 00:06:13,078
- Yes, we will happily
make reasonable adjustments
154
00:06:13,178 --> 00:06:14,439
to accommodate your needs.
155
00:06:14,539 --> 00:06:16,539
- Needs? I don't do needs.
156
00:06:19,739 --> 00:06:22,360
So get off my udders, let's
get to work, you melt.
157
00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:25,720
(Spencer sighing)
158
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,161
Christ!
159
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:28,841
(mellow upbeat music)
160
00:06:28,941 --> 00:06:30,761
♪ Ooh ♪
161
00:06:30,861 --> 00:06:33,282
♪ Oh ♪
162
00:06:33,382 --> 00:06:36,682
- If she gets violent, I'm
throwing this over her head.
163
00:06:36,782 --> 00:06:37,962
(Gary knocking)
164
00:06:38,062 --> 00:06:41,123
- We're just gonna take a look
at your pick line, alright?
165
00:06:41,223 --> 00:06:43,403
(door clicking)
166
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:44,884
- Hi, guys, ready to go?
167
00:06:44,984 --> 00:06:46,884
- It's not the Tasha I was expecting.
168
00:06:46,984 --> 00:06:48,204
- What are you doing here?
169
00:06:48,304 --> 00:06:53,165
I'm entitled to confidential
medical care, so go away!
170
00:06:53,265 --> 00:06:54,045
- There she is.
171
00:06:54,145 --> 00:06:57,246
- Well, we can't have this, can we?
172
00:06:57,346 --> 00:06:59,886
Stop all your lovely meds coming through.
173
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:03,847
Kareshma, I might need a hand here.
174
00:07:03,947 --> 00:07:07,627
Oh, I think we might need
a doodah from the van.
175
00:07:08,748 --> 00:07:09,808
(door thudding)
176
00:07:09,908 --> 00:07:11,608
There are no doodahs.
177
00:07:11,708 --> 00:07:14,048
- No shit, you're literally
couldn't have made it more
178
00:07:14,148 --> 00:07:15,369
obvious we're speaking about her?
179
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,089
- I don't know, I'm
quite good at subterfuge.
180
00:07:17,189 --> 00:07:19,249
- Okay, okay, okay.
181
00:07:19,349 --> 00:07:21,130
She knows how much she needs that line,
182
00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:23,290
but she's obviously pulled it out herself.
183
00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:24,330
The question is why?
(door clicking)
184
00:07:24,430 --> 00:07:26,490
- Hey, you guys ready to go
185
00:07:26,590 --> 00:07:28,791
or do you need more time to talk about me?
186
00:07:30,311 --> 00:07:31,251
(melodic upbeat music)
187
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:36,032
♪ Get it, get it, get it wherever I can ♪
188
00:07:37,592 --> 00:07:39,373
- Wait, sorry, can you just show me again?
189
00:07:39,473 --> 00:07:41,693
- I just showed you a
minute ago, you twassock.
190
00:07:41,793 --> 00:07:44,894
- Yeah, but I was texting,
so I didn't really listen.
191
00:07:44,994 --> 00:07:46,934
- It's not cryptic, mate.
192
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,574
You're a re-stocker, you
grab the medical shit,
193
00:07:49,674 --> 00:07:52,055
you take it to the neenaws,
you get the old shit out,
194
00:07:52,155 --> 00:07:53,895
you put the fresh shit in.
195
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:57,376
- Okay, put the fresh shit
in, okay, got it, thank you.
196
00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:59,456
(door thudding)
197
00:07:59,556 --> 00:08:00,776
(camera clicking)
198
00:08:00,876 --> 00:08:04,037
(school bell ringing)
199
00:08:06,037 --> 00:08:08,617
- Please wait here, sir
will be with you soon.
200
00:08:08,717 --> 00:08:10,698
- Oh, thanks, duck.
201
00:08:10,798 --> 00:08:13,138
I got my level one BSL on Wowcher.
202
00:08:13,238 --> 00:08:15,539
- Another language for you to beg for innit.
203
00:08:15,639 --> 00:08:18,219
Here, have you seen how
much it costs to come here?
204
00:08:18,319 --> 00:08:19,659
I can't inspire these kids,
205
00:08:19,759 --> 00:08:21,500
they're already making more money than me
206
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:22,500
and they're only 12.
207
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,660
- You're a right "Les Misérables" today.
208
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,501
- Yes, this place has got me shook.
209
00:08:27,601 --> 00:08:29,861
They don't usually let
men that look like me
210
00:08:29,961 --> 00:08:31,141
in gaffs like this.
211
00:08:31,241 --> 00:08:33,382
- Eric Ubercama, headmaster,
212
00:08:33,482 --> 00:08:37,382
really pleased to meet you
both, please follow me.
213
00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:39,803
- Bet no one calls him Puff Puff.
214
00:08:46,444 --> 00:08:48,104
- Just tell us what you did.
215
00:08:48,204 --> 00:08:49,944
- I was having a Zoom disco with my mates
216
00:08:50,044 --> 00:08:52,505
and they got stuck when I was dancing.
217
00:08:52,605 --> 00:08:56,465
- Oh, I love a boogie, my
kids are always filming me.
218
00:08:56,565 --> 00:08:58,586
- So that they can put it on the internet
219
00:08:58,686 --> 00:09:00,686
for strangers to laugh at, Gary.
220
00:09:02,286 --> 00:09:04,227
So do you really expect me to believe
221
00:09:04,327 --> 00:09:06,827
you can't keep a pick line in?
222
00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:09,788
- You have to get me out
of here, it's my mum,
223
00:09:09,888 --> 00:09:12,268
she's in deep fucking denial
224
00:09:12,368 --> 00:09:15,789
and she's a Keep Calm and
Carry On mug in jeggings.
225
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:20,349
So I'm not calm, I am fucking
furious and nobody gets it.
226
00:09:20,449 --> 00:09:22,450
Uh!
227
00:09:22,970 --> 00:09:25,390
- I think I'm starting to.
228
00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:29,171
(melodic suspenseful music)
229
00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:43,033
- You are going to have
to speak at some point.
230
00:09:43,133 --> 00:09:43,993
- Will I though?
231
00:09:44,093 --> 00:09:46,094
- You're speaking now.
232
00:09:46,694 --> 00:09:47,874
- Am I though?
233
00:09:47,974 --> 00:09:51,114
- If I were leading a wellness
conversation with my team,
234
00:09:51,214 --> 00:09:53,255
I'd start with some personal disclosure.
235
00:09:54,535 --> 00:09:55,995
You'll find your own way with this,
236
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:58,036
but I'll just model the language for you.
237
00:09:58,136 --> 00:10:00,496
You could start with something like,
238
00:10:02,096 --> 00:10:04,977
I'm George, three years sober,
239
00:10:06,017 --> 00:10:09,557
biggest fear, people find
my insights annoying.
240
00:10:09,657 --> 00:10:11,658
- I'm Jo,
241
00:10:12,258 --> 00:10:14,258
got totally rat-arsed last night
242
00:10:15,258 --> 00:10:17,439
and I can confirm you
are a total ball ache.
243
00:10:17,539 --> 00:10:18,639
(Darrell knocking)
244
00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:19,479
- I'm busy!
245
00:10:19,579 --> 00:10:21,880
- Lads, come on in.
246
00:10:21,980 --> 00:10:22,720
(door clicking)
247
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:26,020
- We've got a question
for you, well, Darrell does.
248
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:31,321
- Jo, I need a wife and I
couldn't think of anyone lovelier
249
00:10:31,421 --> 00:10:35,462
or more cleverer or more
legally British to marry.
250
00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:39,002
- Absolutely fuck, no.
251
00:10:39,102 --> 00:10:43,243
- George, I need a wife and
I couldn't think of anyone
252
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,224
lovelier or cleverer or more
legally British to marry.
253
00:10:47,384 --> 00:10:49,384
- Oh, she's tempted, Darrell.
254
00:10:51,024 --> 00:10:53,265
- Please, it'll help my mental health.
255
00:10:56,385 --> 00:10:59,046
- You know, one knife wound can kill you.
256
00:10:59,146 --> 00:11:01,686
Well, not yous, 'cause you're not really
257
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,286
about that life, innit? (laughs)
258
00:11:03,386 --> 00:11:06,767
- Could you turn on the hearing
loop so we can all hear you?
259
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,367
- What, this thing?
- Yes.
260
00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:10,348
(switch clicking)
(feedback whining)
261
00:11:10,428 --> 00:11:12,428
- Thank you.
262
00:11:12,788 --> 00:11:15,128
- Anyway, as I was saying, people under a-
263
00:11:15,228 --> 00:11:15,928
- Jennifer,
264
00:11:16,028 --> 00:11:18,369
ah, can you put the music on please?
265
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:19,529
(Jennifer sighing)
(switch clicking)
266
00:11:19,629 --> 00:11:21,629
(soft melodic music)
Thank you.
267
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:24,530
♪ Selector, selector ♪
268
00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:25,370
- Jesus!
269
00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:26,770
♪ Into selector ♪
270
00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:28,771
(audience laughing)
271
00:11:28,871 --> 00:11:32,651
♪ Man up in the whip with a bally on ♪
272
00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:33,851
♪ It takes one ♪
273
00:11:33,951 --> 00:11:35,372
- [Maleek] What are you doing?
274
00:11:35,472 --> 00:11:36,852
- Rapping, what's it look like?
275
00:11:36,952 --> 00:11:39,412
- That is not rap.
- Would you do it then?
276
00:11:39,512 --> 00:11:42,253
- Look, just give me
the thing, man. (tuts)
277
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,353
This is shit.
278
00:11:44,993 --> 00:11:47,734
♪ Yo, if you've got your own,
that's three times more ♪
279
00:11:47,834 --> 00:11:49,414
♪ More time before the knives get drawn ♪
280
00:11:49,514 --> 00:11:50,774
♪ Stay safe, stay in school ♪
281
00:11:50,874 --> 00:11:52,335
♪ 'Cause that's what the
really real Gs, them do ♪
282
00:11:52,435 --> 00:11:53,615
♪ Bread Roman ain't got nish ♪
283
00:11:53,715 --> 00:11:55,215
♪ Not nish, but big, bad news ♪
284
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,415
♪ Fit in there with your Gs ♪
285
00:11:56,515 --> 00:11:58,015
♪ Your only Gs should be your GCSEs ♪
286
00:11:58,115 --> 00:11:59,496
♪ So please take this message from me ♪
287
00:11:59,596 --> 00:12:00,376
♪ It takes one ♪
288
00:12:00,476 --> 00:12:01,776
♪ Yeah, that's right, it takes one ♪
289
00:12:01,876 --> 00:12:03,296
♪ Yeah, that's right, it takes one ♪
290
00:12:03,396 --> 00:12:04,096
- Yeah.
291
00:12:04,196 --> 00:12:07,177
♪ Yeah, that's right, it takes one ♪
292
00:12:07,277 --> 00:12:12,038
(audience applauding unenthusiastically)
293
00:12:13,638 --> 00:12:15,578
Questions?
294
00:12:15,678 --> 00:12:16,619
Yeah?
295
00:12:16,719 --> 00:12:19,119
- How much does a paramedic earn?
296
00:12:20,359 --> 00:12:21,659
- 34,000.
- 30,000.
297
00:12:21,759 --> 00:12:22,820
What?
298
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,420
- I'll pay you 35,000 pounds,
299
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,060
if you promise not to rap again.
300
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:27,960
(audience laughing)
301
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,821
Sir, are you gonna let
her talk to me like that?
302
00:12:29,921 --> 00:12:31,461
- Maddie.
- I'm sorry, sir,
303
00:12:31,561 --> 00:12:34,301
but I find it patronising,
reductive and try hard.
304
00:12:34,401 --> 00:12:35,862
(audience laughing)
305
00:12:35,962 --> 00:12:37,862
- Your mum's patronising and reductive.
306
00:12:37,962 --> 00:12:38,782
- Ssh!
- That's why
307
00:12:38,882 --> 00:12:40,502
they should beat kids in school though.
308
00:12:40,602 --> 00:12:42,903
This is you and this stupid rap.
309
00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:44,863
(mellow upbeat music)
310
00:12:44,963 --> 00:12:47,664
♪♪
311
00:12:47,764 --> 00:12:49,224
(Jo humming)
312
00:12:49,324 --> 00:12:50,504
(files thudding)
313
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,544
- There's no point doing this,
314
00:12:52,644 --> 00:12:54,345
I'm never gonna get you
on side with this, am I?
315
00:12:54,445 --> 00:12:59,446
- There you go, something
we agree on finally.
316
00:13:00,806 --> 00:13:03,366
- I'm going to use some
direct language now, Jo.
317
00:13:04,726 --> 00:13:06,387
I underestimated you.
- It's alright, George,
318
00:13:06,487 --> 00:13:09,727
so did my army PT, she's twice
the bloke you'll ever be.
319
00:13:11,448 --> 00:13:13,468
- If you won't take the mental health
320
00:13:13,568 --> 00:13:15,988
of this depot seriously, then I'm afraid
321
00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:18,289
Regional will find someone who will.
322
00:13:20,529 --> 00:13:22,789
Am I making myself clear?
323
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,590
- Are you saying that I don't have to do
324
00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:26,690
this mental health toss at South Hill?
325
00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:30,091
Result.
326
00:13:33,331 --> 00:13:35,072
(students chattering)
327
00:13:35,172 --> 00:13:35,992
- Bye.
328
00:13:36,092 --> 00:13:37,752
- That was a bit savage, wasn't it?
329
00:13:37,852 --> 00:13:39,392
- I told you this was
just a waste of time.
330
00:13:39,492 --> 00:13:41,273
- All the kids, they say stuff,
331
00:13:41,373 --> 00:13:42,673
you don't normally let it get to you.
332
00:13:42,773 --> 00:13:44,833
- Yeah, but that's the hood kids,
333
00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:46,153
it's hood kids, it's different.
334
00:13:46,253 --> 00:13:47,474
You let them cuss you out,
335
00:13:47,574 --> 00:13:49,114
'cause you know you're saving lives there,
336
00:13:49,214 --> 00:13:50,834
but we're just a joke
thing to these lot, man,
337
00:13:50,934 --> 00:13:52,994
ain't none of them gonna be paramedics.
338
00:13:53,094 --> 00:13:55,035
Posh pricks, like little dickead, Maddie.
339
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,115
What's she know about rap?
340
00:13:57,215 --> 00:13:59,236
Fool, this is bullshit, man.
341
00:13:59,336 --> 00:14:02,356
(feedback whining)
- Maleek, the hearing loop.
342
00:14:02,456 --> 00:14:04,456
- Oh, I'm not stupid, it's off.
343
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,097
- Maybe she won't tell anyone.
344
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:16,798
- She's gonna snitch.
345
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:21,359
- I'm not even angry, I'm
just really disappointed.
346
00:14:21,459 --> 00:14:24,200
(school bell ringing)
347
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,800
- Look, sir, or sire, whatever,
348
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:30,641
this whole thing was
just a big mistake, yes?
349
00:14:30,741 --> 00:14:33,481
So we're gonna leave you
to your marking and that.
350
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:37,182
- Hold it, the bell doesn't
dismiss you, I dismiss you.
351
00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,283
Now you're going to finish
this little workshop,
352
00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:43,723
because I happen to think it's important
353
00:14:43,823 --> 00:14:46,683
our students are prepared for
anything life throws at them.
354
00:14:46,783 --> 00:14:48,984
But first an apology.
355
00:14:50,064 --> 00:14:50,804
Maddie.
356
00:14:50,904 --> 00:14:52,904
(door clicking)
- Oh.
357
00:14:53,705 --> 00:14:54,845
(door thudding)
Crack on, Maddie,
358
00:14:54,945 --> 00:14:56,365
it's your time you're wasting.
359
00:14:56,465 --> 00:14:59,325
- I think he means you apologise to her.
360
00:14:59,425 --> 00:15:00,966
- But sir.
361
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,806
- Now.
362
00:15:02,906 --> 00:15:04,646
- (tuts) Sorry, Maddie.
363
00:15:04,746 --> 00:15:07,327
- Whatever, just no more rap, yeah.
364
00:15:07,427 --> 00:15:08,407
- Hm.
365
00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:10,047
Can I go now, sir?
366
00:15:10,147 --> 00:15:12,148
- Off you go.
367
00:15:13,108 --> 00:15:15,888
♪ Give it ♪
368
00:15:15,988 --> 00:15:18,089
♪ Oh, ooh ♪
369
00:15:18,189 --> 00:15:18,929
♪ Give it ♪
370
00:15:19,029 --> 00:15:21,249
- It's bit of a dick move
taking your anger out
371
00:15:21,349 --> 00:15:23,770
on something you need like a pick line.
372
00:15:23,870 --> 00:15:25,870
- Not my best work obvi.
373
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:28,690
- And obvi, as an NHS professional,
374
00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:31,691
I would never encourage
you to destroy anything
375
00:15:31,791 --> 00:15:33,131
or smash anything up.
376
00:15:33,231 --> 00:15:35,892
- No, no, crikey, no.
377
00:15:35,992 --> 00:15:38,212
- But I wonder what would happen,
378
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:41,592
if you ripped the literal
shit out of this schoolwork.
379
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,333
(paper tearing)
380
00:15:46,433 --> 00:15:48,054
There you go.
381
00:15:48,154 --> 00:15:49,534
(paper tearing)
382
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:53,594
And what about that shit
over there, how about that?
383
00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:56,255
- Come on.
384
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,855
(objects clattering)
385
00:15:57,955 --> 00:15:59,856
(Gary laughing)
- Yes!
386
00:15:59,956 --> 00:16:02,616
- Tasha, what the heck is going on?
387
00:16:02,716 --> 00:16:05,056
- I'm fucking angry, Mum,
388
00:16:05,156 --> 00:16:09,057
not hacking, really fucking angry.
389
00:16:09,157 --> 00:16:10,937
Aren't you?
390
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,658
- Of course I'm fucking angry.
391
00:16:13,758 --> 00:16:16,138
- It's like good to show it sometimes,
392
00:16:16,238 --> 00:16:18,959
you don't need to act
like everything's okay.
393
00:16:21,199 --> 00:16:23,199
- Fine.
394
00:16:23,679 --> 00:16:24,480
(kick thudding)
(objects clattering)
395
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:25,620
- Yes, Mum!
396
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:26,980
(melodic upbeat music)
- Tasha, the bear.
397
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,500
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
398
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,261
(bag tearing)
- Aw, poor bear!
399
00:16:30,361 --> 00:16:32,501
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
400
00:16:32,601 --> 00:16:34,461
(Tasha shrieking)
(guitar thudding)
401
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,462
- We should leave them to it.
402
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:37,302
- Hm.
403
00:16:37,402 --> 00:16:38,782
(Tasha shrieking)
(guitar thudding)
404
00:16:38,882 --> 00:16:41,062
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
405
00:16:41,162 --> 00:16:43,463
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
406
00:16:43,563 --> 00:16:45,383
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
407
00:16:45,483 --> 00:16:47,063
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
408
00:16:47,163 --> 00:16:49,584
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
409
00:16:49,684 --> 00:16:53,604
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
410
00:16:56,445 --> 00:16:59,605
(audience chattering)
411
00:17:03,206 --> 00:17:05,786
- Can we have some baba baba?
412
00:17:05,886 --> 00:17:07,747
Ah, thanks.
413
00:17:07,847 --> 00:17:10,707
Yo, Jennifer, hit the lights please, my G.
414
00:17:10,807 --> 00:17:12,828
(Jennifer sighing)
(switch clicking)
415
00:17:12,928 --> 00:17:16,648
Nice, okay, so remember, guys, BPN.
416
00:17:18,569 --> 00:17:21,749
B, leave the blade in,
417
00:17:21,849 --> 00:17:24,349
P, apply pressure to the wound.
418
00:17:24,449 --> 00:17:27,870
Now you can use anything,
clothes if you have them.
419
00:17:27,970 --> 00:17:29,870
And finally N,
420
00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:33,311
call 999. (laughing awkwardly)
421
00:17:33,411 --> 00:17:35,711
This is... Wendy?
422
00:17:35,811 --> 00:17:38,432
- Right, well, these might
look like a horror film,
423
00:17:38,532 --> 00:17:40,972
but they're actual photos of knife wounds.
424
00:17:42,492 --> 00:17:45,333
(girls screaming)
425
00:17:46,653 --> 00:17:48,233
- Wendy, what are you doing?
426
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,954
Those aren't school slides,
those are surgeon's slides.
427
00:17:51,054 --> 00:17:52,994
- They said they didn't
want be patronised.
428
00:17:53,094 --> 00:17:55,115
- Yeah, but they don't
want bloody PTSD either.
429
00:17:55,215 --> 00:17:57,755
Look what you've done
to the poor kids then.
430
00:17:57,855 --> 00:18:00,716
(girl vomiting)
- Oh.
431
00:18:00,816 --> 00:18:04,436
- Oh, she's being sick, uh!
432
00:18:04,536 --> 00:18:07,437
(mellow upbeat music)
433
00:18:07,537 --> 00:18:10,757
♪♪
434
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,998
- [Darrell] Ah, Spencer,
how was the first day?
435
00:18:13,098 --> 00:18:14,398
- Do you know what, actually amazing.
436
00:18:14,498 --> 00:18:16,958
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was
wondering if you knew any chicks
437
00:18:17,058 --> 00:18:19,199
you could set me up with to marry?
438
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:20,599
- Ugh, heteronormative.
439
00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:22,519
- It's just so Darrell
can stay in the country.
440
00:18:22,619 --> 00:18:24,439
The person just needs to
have a British passport.
441
00:18:24,539 --> 00:18:25,280
- Wow and racist.
442
00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:27,160
Do you know what, you both disgust me.
443
00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:29,000
- I'm so sorry for being a racist.
444
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:30,320
- [Darrell] That's it then.
445
00:18:30,420 --> 00:18:31,681
- Only one option left.
446
00:18:31,781 --> 00:18:35,161
- I'm gonna have to marry your
mum and become your stepdad.
447
00:18:35,261 --> 00:18:37,322
- Could you teach me how to ride a bike?
448
00:18:37,422 --> 00:18:38,282
- Sure, kiddo.
449
00:18:38,382 --> 00:18:41,722
- Welcome to the family!
450
00:18:41,822 --> 00:18:43,443
(belt clicking)
451
00:18:43,543 --> 00:18:45,203
- Thanks, Kareshma.
452
00:18:45,303 --> 00:18:48,143
- Hm, literally just doing my job.
453
00:19:02,066 --> 00:19:04,206
(ambulance door thudding)
454
00:19:04,306 --> 00:19:05,166
What?
455
00:19:05,266 --> 00:19:07,167
- Nothing, it's just you don't want to get
456
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:08,767
too close to the patients.
457
00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:10,867
- As if.
458
00:19:12,907 --> 00:19:14,008
(drawer thudding)
459
00:19:14,108 --> 00:19:15,648
(plastic rustling)
460
00:19:15,748 --> 00:19:18,048
- [Lawrence] Alright, Jo.
461
00:19:18,148 --> 00:19:21,089
- Alright, Loz.
- How did it go with George?
462
00:19:21,189 --> 00:19:22,689
- All sorted.
- Why are you doing this?
463
00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:24,209
Where's the new guy?
464
00:19:24,309 --> 00:19:26,730
- He's taking a daylight break.
465
00:19:26,830 --> 00:19:28,330
- Oh.
- What a twat.
466
00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:31,431
- Hm, good, 'cause I don't
want any witnesses to this.
467
00:19:34,671 --> 00:19:36,451
(Lawrence imitating gunshot)
468
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,532
.44 to the face, yeah.
469
00:19:38,632 --> 00:19:41,252
- Oh, you'd be out the door,
if you shot that in here.
470
00:19:41,352 --> 00:19:43,012
- Not if I stayed soft through the knees
471
00:19:43,112 --> 00:19:44,173
at the point of release.
472
00:19:44,273 --> 00:19:46,173
- [Jo] No, kick like a mule on that.
473
00:19:46,273 --> 00:19:47,293
- [Lawrence] Hm.
474
00:19:47,393 --> 00:19:50,094
(mellow upbeat music)
475
00:19:50,194 --> 00:19:52,354
♪♪
476
00:19:53,754 --> 00:19:55,775
- Oh, Spencer, how was your first day?
477
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:56,895
- Do you know what?
478
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:58,375
I'm so tired, I can't even talk about it.
479
00:19:58,475 --> 00:19:59,855
There is a long hours
culture at this place,
480
00:19:59,955 --> 00:20:01,956
that's very unhealthy.
481
00:20:04,116 --> 00:20:09,017
- Wenders, ah, I thought it
was weird a mama bear like you
482
00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:12,977
would walk out on her only
son, totally get it now.
483
00:20:13,077 --> 00:20:15,418
- You could do us both
a favour and sack him.
484
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:18,098
- Well, I could, but I'm not a quitter.
485
00:20:18,198 --> 00:20:21,099
I've bested worse grunts than
him, I will break him first,
486
00:20:21,199 --> 00:20:23,279
then hand his arse back to you in pieces.
487
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,940
- Right.
488
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,980
(mellow upbeat music)
489
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,021
- [Darryl] I'm scared.
490
00:20:32,121 --> 00:20:34,021
- You're doing really well, son.
491
00:20:34,121 --> 00:20:35,821
- Don't let go.
492
00:20:35,921 --> 00:20:37,021
- I won't.
493
00:20:37,121 --> 00:20:39,142
- Don't let go,
494
00:20:39,242 --> 00:20:41,142
please.
(bicycle whirring)
495
00:20:41,242 --> 00:20:43,342
- That's my boy.
496
00:20:43,442 --> 00:20:48,443
♪ Ooh ooh ♪
497
00:20:49,483 --> 00:20:52,464
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
498
00:20:52,564 --> 00:20:53,784
♪ Yeah ♪
499
00:20:53,884 --> 00:20:57,385
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
500
00:20:57,485 --> 00:20:58,785
♪ Yeah ♪
501
00:20:58,885 --> 00:21:02,466
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
502
00:21:02,566 --> 00:21:03,946
♪ Yeah ♪
503
00:21:04,046 --> 00:21:06,706
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
504
00:21:06,806 --> 00:21:07,867
(hammer thudding)
505
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,427
(man thudding to floor)
- Uh!
506
00:21:09,527 --> 00:21:12,687
(light melodic music)
36480
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