Original subtitles

You traveling with two sheilas, are you, mate?

Uh, yep.

- Two, eh? - Yep.

That'll be a bit of fun, eh?

Yeah, yeah.

Just sign there.

They get, uh, real easy when they travel.

Loosen up a bit, hey?

Mate of mine reckons. He picks 'em up all the time.

Uh-huh.

- That's it? - Yep, yep.

Good on ya, champ.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, eh?

Nah. I won't.

Send us a card.

All right.

Fat fuck. What a tool.

How funny's that?

I like that. I think we should send that one.

Do ya reckon?

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

How long is this gonna take, mate?

Not long.

How long's not long?

Well, I've almost got it.

Yep.

- Yep. - Yep!

OK.

Yep.

Yep!

Yep.

- Yep. - Yep.

He fancies you.

He doesn't.

- Does. - You fancy him.

I don't think so.

The three of us are going to be stuck in a car together for three weeks,

and it'll be trying enough without "is it me, or is he being weird today?"

Lt'd drive me barmy.

Yeah. You're right.

He is cute, though.

Do you think he's really got a girlfriend in Sydney?

Why would he lie?

He's a bloke.

I can't believe we're leaving.

I know.

It feels like two years, not two weeks.

Whoo!

Wow!

- Want a lift? - I'd love it.

I thought I requested purple.

Eh. For 1,500 bucks we're lucky it's got doors.

I love it.

Hey, where's my stuff?

We forgot about food for you. Sorry.

Yeah, we thought you'd get by on our gratitude and appreciation.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where's the booze?

Oh, we've made a decision.

After last night, never drinking again.

We've got to get an early start

if we want to get to Wolf Oreek by tomorrow night.

Mm-hmm.

Piss off. Of course I checked.

How much of an organization Nazi is she?

No, she's right. In bed by 9:30.

This is bad, actually.

Oh!

You weren't gonna drink that. Is that your beer?

- Patrick. Pleased to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

That's a pretty nice handshake there. Let's give it a kiss.

Lovely, lovely.

- I can pack a punch. - You can pack a punch?

Why would you want that?

- I would if I had to. - If you had to?

You gotta hear this bullshit story.

Bullshit! It wasn't bullshit!

Ten foot wave sprayin'.

Shh! Shh!

Go on!

I think it's past 9:30.

I got the worst taste in my mouth.

? I'd like to sing a song for you

- OK, let me start again.

Here we go.

- ? I love her - Oh, God.

? I really, really love her

? Make me smile all the time

? When you cook my food and you clean my room

? I love you, Mum I love you, Mum

? He's been playing guitar

? For a few weeks now

? And he's really, really, really crap

? And he's crap

? Really shit

? I'm not that bad

Oh, my God!

Yeah, that's cool.

That's amazing.

You're near the world's fifth biggest UFO sighting area.

- Kristy, I'm serious. - I know!

- I can hear you laughing. - What? I'm listening.

Fine.

- I'm listening. - Tell us.

Don't listen to her. Tell me. I'm listening.

All right. I read about this guy

who was driving out on the highway out there.

And he sees this light ahead of him, around 500 meters,

and at first he thinks it's a truck or a semi-trailer or something,

'cause the light's really bright, like glowing orange and shit.

- Yeah. - But as he gets closer,

he realizes that the light's about 10 meters off the ground,

just hanging in mid-air.

So he's scared, freaking out.

And then he hears this... crack!

Like an explosion.

- That was supposed to scare us. - I know, it's scary.

But he did. He heard this crack.

Like an explosion of a jet.

And itjust took off into the sky, straight up like a rocket.

And then as soon as it was gone,

his carjust stopped in the middle of the road,

and it was totally silent.

He was just sitting there, staring up at the stars.

In the middle of nowhere.

- Hey... - No reason. Just stopped.

- Is that a true story? - I read it.

You've got something dripping off your lip there.

What?

Oh, it's all right. It's just bullshit.

- No, bullshit you, mate!

What's all this shit?

- Oh, for the tent. - For the tent.

- Here, I'll do that. Start on the tent. - No, you do the tent.

I don't know what you two would do without me.

- I didn't finish that. - Oh, sorry.

- This is it. - I finished it for you.

- What? - I didn't know what to do!

- All right? - Yep.

Now we just got a six-hour drive. Who's driving first?

- Oh! - Who's driving first?

I don't know. I'll go in the back.

- Is that all right with you? - Yeah.

- I'll go in the back. - Do you want to drive?

We're here, guys.

Well, well, well.

Hey, um, can I have the keys?

Oh, it's OK, you two. I've got it.

Thanks. No problems, guys.

How's the hair?

Day one. Captain's log.

So far, no sign of intelligent life forms.

Starting to doubt... Hey.

- Howdy. - Howdy.

Um, do you wanna say hello?

- Hello.

Righto. What's your name?

- Graham. - Graham.

Nice to meet you, Graham.

I'm Ben.

- This one too? - Yeah, man.

I think someone's got a crush on you.

Yeah, the attendant. I thought so.

- No. - Graham.

- Uh-uh. - Uh-uh.

I'm getting the feeling it's mutual. Am I wrong?

You know it's true!

- Do you mind? - You do!

I think it's absolutely fabulous.

But don't go dicking her around, because she's totally brilliant.

If you hurt her, I'm going to have to kill you.

So my advice is that we have an awesome time together.

You sort out whatever it is going on between you and this

so-called girlfriend you've allegedly got.

By the time we get to Oairns, we'll find some freakishly hot man for me,

and we'll all, you know, go crazy together, all right?

All right.

She's only a little one, isn't she?

I reckon I could break that in half real quickly, eh?

Youse two'd be watching me.

- Here comes yours now, mate.

What a place, huh?

Hey, uh... Hey, mate. Oi.

Oi. Hey, come here. I got a question for ya.

All right. You keep that.

How're you going?

Hey, uh...

Me and me mates are gonna see

if your girlfriends would be interested in a little bit of a gang bang.

We just want to make sure it's all right with you first.

Good on ya. Fuckhead.

Hey, what'd you say?

I said...

I said that's, um...

...a nice smile you got.

Bazza, don't be a dickhead.

- See you later, sweetheart.

Bye.

Fucking assholes.

Bunch of morons. Honestly.

- Yeah. Forget about it, Ben. - No, I should've smashed him.

- I should've T'ai Ohi'd his ass.

I'm serious.

The weather's shit.

Yeah. All of a sudden.

I think it's the start of the wet season, so...

That's beautiful over there, isn't it?

That light coming up through the mountains. It's gorgeous.

I hope it doesn't rain.

what?

- I said I hope it doesn't rain. - Man, it's gonna be cold tonight.

I mean cold.

Great.

Hey, I think that's the start of it.

So it's in there? You've got to climb over the top?

Um, yeah.

- Aw!

- What was that? - Rock.

There's just nothing out here.

I know. It's great.

Here we go. Wolf Oreek Orater!

- Orater! We're here! - Whoo!

"Walking trail."

- "Allow, three... Three hours." - Three hours?

Is that three hours to get all the way to the middle or to get up to the top?

- I imagine it's to the top. - It's to the top.

No camping. Hiking's allowed.

Put rubbish in your bin and no fires. OK.

Right. Great. Let's go.

- Wow. Madame. - Thank you.

- Wolf Oreek awaits you. - Oh, wow!

Wolf Oreek!

Wow.

- It's a souvenir...

What is with this weather?

- Maybe we should take an umbrella. - Yeah.

Yeah, definitely.

What do you want to take?

- All of it. - All what's in the Esky.

- And who's carrying all of this? - You are.

- Just all of it. - All right, three hours.

- Let's do it! - Let's go.

Oh, wait.

Oh, there's poo everywhere!

Yay! We're on the poo planet.

There's another skull. Look.

They're bones!

Oh, my God, there's bones everywhere!

What are you doing? It's not raining that bad.

Yeah, it is. It's freezing. I've got no jumper.

- Where did the meteorite go? - It's in the middle.

- Just went into the ground? - Yeah.

Look how good it looks. Ooo-ooh!

Oome on!

Whoo!

Here.

You all right?

Wow. That's impressive.

You're looking at one of the biggest meteorite craters on the planet.

They reckon the explosion from the impact

would've been like 200 nuclear bombs going off at the same time.

Some guys discovered it scouting for an oil company in 1947.

Imagine being the first person to see it.

Hey. Let's go.

You all right?

- This is great, Ben. - Yeah. Thank you.

It's fantastic. Thank you.

Such a sweetheart, aren't you?

Loving it.

Yeah. It's great.

Sorry. I didn't know.

It'll clear. Give it a couple of hours.

Thank you.

Back soon.

Where are you going?

I wonder why the meteor hit here.

In this place. Nowhere else.

Maybe it was drawn to something in the Earth.

- Like when lightning strikes. - Hmm.

- Yeah? - Hmm.

- Hi. - Hey.

That's awesome.

I was wondering what that would be like.

Kris, what's the time?

Uh, don't know. Watch has stopped.

It's like Niagara Falls!

Whoo!

- Hey, have you got the time? - Nah. It's busted.

I'd say it's about 7:00. So about an hour till dark.

We'll make it back to Halls Oreek, easy.

Kristy's watch stopped too.

- Bullshit. Did it really? - Yeah.

6:30. Mine too.

What, batteries or something?

You got the keys?

Make sure you warm her up first.

- It's weird weather, eh? - Yeah, I reckon. God.

- See you later, Wolf Oreek.

- What's wrong? - I don't know.

Did we leave the lights on?

No.

Is it... Is it in gear?

- No. Try... Try again.

- No. Try... Try again.

- Fuck.

- OK.

Shit.

Uh, pop... Pop the hood.

It's probably just the battery terminals.

This one...

Do you know what you're looking for?

Oh...

Are you gonna tell Liz?

I've got a feeling she already knows.

I'll go see what I can do.

- Did you hear that?

- You didn't leave the lights on? - No.

No.

Fucker.

Looks like we might be spending the night.

- This is fucked.

Bitch.

I am your father.

Do you think it means anything?

I mean, the watches and the car not working.

- What do you mean? - Well...

You know the stories I was telling you last night about the UFOs and stuff.

And when they were around,

well, things stopped working.

Oould be the same kind of thing.

Ben, I really don't think we need to be talking about that right now.

OK.

There's something out there.

- And it ain't no man. - No, no. I saw some lights.

- Where? - Right... Right there.

- There. - What the hell?

No, no, no. Don't fucking... What?

- It might be a car! - Well, it might not be a car!

- That don't look like no car. - Shit. It's coming this way.

Fuck, it is coming this way. Shit.

- Fuck! - Fuck. It is coming this way.

- Should we run? - No, no, no!

Just stay in the car! Don't move.

Hold on. Hang on, it's a car.

How do you know?

It's a bloody car! Shit!

- I can hear the engine.

What the bloody hell are you mob doing out here?

- Scared the shit out of me.

We thought it was aliens.

- Well, she did. - Hi.

It was pissing down with rain earlier. I was just about to chuck it in.

It was pissing down with rain earlier. I was just about to chuck it in.

Lucky for you mob I decided to hang around a bit longer, eh?

Yeah. We were just getting ready to spend the night too.

Ah, well. We'll get you outta here quick smart.

Oome on, you bloody sparkplug!

- Where ya heading?

- Darwin, sort of. - Yeah, then on to Oairns.

- That's where we're really headed. - Long drive.

- Yeah. - It's too long.

- British, are youse? - Yeah.

- That's right. - Ben's an Aussie, though.

- Yeah? Where ya from, mate? - Sydney.

Poofta capital of Australia.

- Just playing with you, tiger.

Never been over there myself.

Lucky you sheilas are traveling with a bloke.

Oan't be too careful.

- Ooh! - Nothing wrong with the battery.

- I told you we'd be all right. - I know. He's hilarious.

He's like one of those guys from the outback Australia shows.

- Yeah! - Like Orocodile Dundee.

- He's a pisser.

You're an Aussie. How come you don't talk like him?

You want the bad news? Or the really bad news?

Well, your coil's rooted. Oactus. You're not going nowhere.

- What can we do? - Fuck. I had it totally checked...

- Ben. Fuck. - Must be something we can do.

You take the old one out, bung the new one in, Bob's your sister.

The only good news is I got the gear to do it.

Problem is, it's back at my camp just down the road a ways.

I'm going back down there anyway,

so I could give you a tow, fix it tonight.

Probably have you on the road by morning.

Otherwise, someone'll be coming through here.

Eventually.

Make up your mind, 'cause I gotta get a rattle on.

- Thank you - Thank you.

- What do you guys want to do? - Might as well.

He's not going to fix it for free, is he?

What if he wants a couple hundred pounds or something?

- A thousand, what? I don't know. - OK, OK.

OK, first we gotta find out if he wants any money or not.

- I don't have a lot of cash on me. - Me, neither.

Nor do I.

Duh.

Why don't we get him to tow us to town, and we'll get someone there?

Yeah.

- OK. - Go on.

- You go on, you ask him. - I don't want to.

Go on. It's a bloke thing. Go on.

Yeah, you must. Please?

- Yeah. - It's a bloke thing.

Ask him.

- You didn't need any help? - Nah, I'm all right. Thanks, though.

Oertain way of putting it in.

Um, I know it's a long way, but the girls were wondering

if you could tow us back into town.

I mean, we don't wanna put you out any more than we already have.

Look, I'd really like to help you, mate,

but I'm not heading that way, you know?

If you don't want the lift, that's up to you, but I'm heading south.

- South. - Yeah, south.

South.

- You wanna go north. - Yeah.

- I'm heading south.

Yeah.

- Bit of a bugger. - Bugger. Yeah.

So, um...

- Well, with that coil... - Yeah?

...and stuff...

How much would that cost, say if we just got you to do that?

It's not fuckin' Pitt Street, mate!

Of course I'm not gonna charge you, you stupid bastard! Hey?

You hear that? "How much?"

Hey?

- Oh, you sure? - Oh, Jesus, you make me laugh.

You must keep the little buggers amused, hey?

Yeah.

You amuse the bloody bejesus out of me.

All right. I'll get the girls going.

- That'd be a good idea. - Yeah, good idea.

- Off you go. - Off I go.

Yay.

All right.

Where did he say his place was again?

South.

It feels like we've been driving for hours.

We shouldn't be too far.

That's what you said an hour ago.

OK, let's just get him to drop us off here then, all right?

It's cool.

He said it was gonna be a bit of a drive, didn't he?

Mm-hmm.

It's cool.

Must be some sort of mining operation.

Hmm. Looks like a ghost town.

- We're here. - Thank God.

Wherever here is.

- I have plenty of water there. - Aw, thank you.

It's the one thing that we don't have plenty of.

Oheers.

Nothing like rainwater from the top end.

Hey, Mick, this place is amazing.

I can't believe they just walked out and left all this stuff here.

Plenty of places like this all over the outback.

Thousands of 'em. Places people've forgotten about.

Must be a whole town out there somewhere.

Got lost in a six-month dust storm back in the '40s.

The people just walked away.

I heard of blokes gettin' lost on their own farms.

Just never found their way out.

- On their own property? - Mm-hmm.

That's amazing.

Oh, there's one up here that crosses three states, right?

- Takes six days to drive across. - No!

I... I... We used to work out there once.

- What'd you do there? - Head shooter.

You know, clearin' vermin.

Roos, horses, pigs, buffalo. You name it.

Don't work there no more.

Use poisons. You know, instead of shooters.

Yeah, used to... used to fly in with the helicopters.

You fly in low over a herd of water buffalo.

Sometimes take out 50 head in an afternoon.

I wore out five bolts on a.303 one year.

Pigs. Pigs were different. You have to get in close.

Get the dogs onto 'em, and then you go in with a knife.

You had to get in under him, you know, while the pig's fighting off the dogs.

And you had to be quick.

Otherwise, you'd lose your guts on its tusk.

- Sharp!

I seen a big boar pig, right?

Take a pitbull's head clean off one time.

Little legs still pumpin' away.

Oh!

- Fair dinkum. - Fair dinkum?

That's what I said, yeah.

Fair dinkum.

Wow. Poor little fella.

- So, um, where do you live? - Oh, I get around, you know.

Never know where I might pop up.

- Man, you must love the freedom. - What?

The freedom. You know, you must love it.

You know, hangin' out in nature and shit.

- Right. - Yeah.

You get to, like, you know, cruise around the bush.

Saying cool stuff like, "that's not a knife, this is a knife."

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah?

What do you actually do... now?

Oh, I could tell ya, but then I'd have to kill ya.

So you don't really shoot kangaroos, do you?

I'm doing people a service by taking out a few roos.

They're everywhere out here now.

Like tourists.

Oh. Excusez moi.

- Oi.

Oi. Your turn.

Fair go.

Bloody women here, son.

Well, um, I'll let you know when I get it goin'. What do ya reckon?

- Thank you. - No worries.

- Thank you. - Thanks.

"But then I'd have to kill ya."

Shh.

What?

Did you see the way he was looking at you?

He's trying to impress us with his great white hunter thing.

But he's doing us a favor. He probably doesn't appreciate us

cracking jokes at his expense. Seriously.

- Let's get the car fixed. - That's what we're doing.

Don't freak out.

- You all right? - Fine, thanks.

Thanks again for helping us out.

No worries.

Obviously, it'd be great to get going as soon as possible.

No worries.

Ben.

Ben, move the Esky away from the fire.

Ben.

Oh!

No!

No! Aah!

Please don't kill me.

Please.

Please! Aah!

Please!

Don't kill me! Please!

No!

Don't kill me!

Bang!

Well, nothing happens when the bolt's open, you see?

Uh-oh!

The look on your fuckin' face!

Why are you doing this?

Why?

Please! If you let me go, I won't tell anyone.

- Shh, shh, shh. - I won't! I won't!

Oome on. Oalm down.

Listen to Uncle Michael.

Oome on.

Now, as I keep tellin' ya,

you know, I always use a rubber with you cunts.

- I don't know where you been.

Fuck you!

Mmm.

Mmm!

Mmm!

Get away from me!

Fuck you!

Fuck you, cunt!

No!

Aah!

Fuck you, cunt!

You fucking loser!

You fucking loser.

Thank you very much.

You know...

You know how I know that you're not gonna tell nobody?

You know how I know?

No! No!

Off with your little pinkies.

Fuck!

Ah!

Jesus Ohrist, Mick!

Rule number one. Put the bloody fire out.

For fuck's sake!

Bloody hell!

Shh! Kristy!

- Shh! Shh!

Please! Shh!

Shh! Shh!

Where's Ben? Where's Ben?

Shh. Kristy, you have to be quiet.

Shh!

Oh. You're still awake, are ya?

You know, a man's a real goose, eh?

I mean, it took four hours

to get those fuckin' parts out of your car, right?

Now the bastard thing's all burnt.

What do ya think of that?

Bloody this, all.

Now...

Where were we?

Eh?

Oh, yeah.

Let's play. Hey?

You like to play, don't ya?

You like to play, hey? Hey? Hey?

You like to play, do ya? Hey? Hey?

That stupid bitch over there. See that stupid bitch over there?

She loved it.

While she lasted. Good few months.

We were great together, you know?

Till she lost her head!

- How about...

How about I cut your tits off, hey?

Out your tits off.

You're all the same, you foreign cunts.

Weak as piss.

Now, how the hell did you get out?

You're wasting your time, eh?

It's not loaded. I only put one up the spout.

Let her go.

Now!

Get away from her!

Now!

Now, Lizzy.

Now, a rifle in the wrong hands can be, you know, really dangerous.

- So, give me the fuckin'...

Kill him!

Kill him!

No!

Please help me.

Oome on.

No! No!

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

Don't go!

Yes!

- Hang onto something!

Go!

Oome on!

Go, go, go, Liz!

Go, go!

Oome on.

- Push! - What?

He'll see the lights go over!

- Follow me. - Are you joking?

Oome on.

He's going to check on us.

Let's go.

Fuck!

He killed that person back there.

Did you see Ben?

She'd been alive for months.

We've got to move.

- He's going to do that to us. - We can't go that way.

- He's gonna see we're not down there. - I know, I know!

I've got a set of keys.

- He must have more cars. - I'm not going back there.

We're in the middle of fucking nowhere. We need a car.

Oome on.

Wait. Wait.

- Wait. - You all right?

I just gotta catch my breath. Wait.

- You OK? - Yeah.

It's all right. It's all right.

- Listen, Kris.

You're just gonna have to wait here for a minute, all right?

No!

- No! - Listen, it's just for five minutes.

- Please, don't leave me. Please! - Listen.

- What if he catches me again? - He won't, he won't.

Please, don't leave me!

He's not going to catch you again, all right?

You just have to wait here for five minutes, OK?

I'll be in and out. I'll be quicker on my own, OK?

Listen.

Look...

If I'm not back, all right, in five minutes,

just head that way, OK?

And you'll hit a road eventually, all right?

I'll catch up with you.

OK. I'm quicker on my own. All right? I'm coming back.

- OK? - Wait.

- Please. - Five minutes.

It's OK. It's all right.

- Don't go! - It's all right.

What if he catches me again?

He's not... He's not gonna...

He's not gonna catch you again, all right?

Listen.

Listen, you just wait here, all right?

Please hurry.

Shit!

Oh, God.

Uhh!

Uhh...

Ahh!

Ben?

Ben.

It's excellent. Yeah, I've never seen better.

Bella, bella, bellal

I'm sure we did. I thought we got this fixed.

- Honey, I'm not in the mood, all right?

- How's it going, mate? - Not too good.

What do you expect?

He's from the country. That's what happens.

Country people are friendly, though.

- Thirsty, are ya? - Yeah.

Eh? Nothing like rainwater from the top end.

So far, no sign of intelligent life forms.

Um, do you wanna say hello?

- Righto. What's your name? - Graham.

Graham. Nice to meet you, Graham.

I'm Ben.

- This one too? - Yeah, man.

- Ah!

Hey.

Like your little mate said before, you know.

That's not a knife.

This is a knife.

Now, come on. Oome on, Lizzie.

Oome on!

Settle down, you know.

That's not gonna kill ya. All right?

I got a bullet hole in me neck and I'm not whingeing, am I? No.

I'm gonna have to do something, Lizzy.

So as you don't try and run out on me, you know?

It's... It's a little trick they used to use in the Vietnam War, you know?

So they could take prisoners

and they still get the same information out of 'em.

But the little buggers didn't escape. You with me?

You with me?

- You see what I mean? Eh?

No! No!

Now that!

That's for fuckin' wreckin' me fuckin' truck, you bitch!

Now, this little procedure...

...is called "making a head on a stick."

Because once your spine's severed, right...

No!

That's what you are, hey?

Head on a stick.

Now...

Let's talk about your little mate, um, Kristy.

Liz.

Liz.

What happened?

Jesus.

I'll get a blanket. Get you some help.

No! No!

Oh!

Oome on! Move!

Oome on! Oome on!

Oome on! Fucking move!

Move! Oome on! Fuck!

Oome on!

No! No, no!

No.

Fuck you! Fuck you!

Asshole!

Oh, fuck! No!

The winner!

Help!