Original subtitles

[Theme - Jack Jones, "the love boat theme"]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new, come aboard,

we're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats to you.

The love boat.

Soon we'll be making another run.

The love boat.

Promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt any more.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

[Music playing]

Captain stubing, you're looking

particularly handsome today.

Why, thank you, Julie.

Haircut, manicure, best uniform--

this wouldn't have anything to do with having your portrait

painted, would it?

Thank you for reminding me, Adam.

It completely slipped my mind.

Got to look your best.

You're having your portrait painted?

Well, the line wants a little picture of me

to hang in the boardroom.

Oh, this isn't just a little picture.

They've commission Barbara Braden to paint it.

She's painted official portraits of four supreme court

justices and two presidents.

Wow, captain, that's very exciting.

Oh it's not such a big deal.

The line does this for all their captains

who have been with them for 10 years.

I don't want either one of you to make a big fuss about this.

Fine, sir.

Consider the matter closed.

Good.

Oh, Ms. McCoy?

Yes, sir?

Do I look better full face or profile?

Hi, I'm Don York.

Oh hey, Don York, the famous public relations man.

Yeah, how'd you know.

Ah, well, it says Don York, public relations right here.

Famous I just threw in because if you are famous,

I should've known, and if you're not,

makes you feel better, right?

Hey, you're all right.

You can be a press agent yourself

with your gift of flattery.

Gopher Smith, famous assistant purser.

Makes me feel better too.

Wow.

There's the person i'd love to make famous,

so I could protect her from the crowds.

Hello, I'm Doris weldon.

Hello, miss weldon.

Let's see.

You are in cabin 216 on fiesta deck.

Thank you.

I'm Don York.

Ah, famous public relations.

Well, if there's one thing I've learned

is a public relations man, it's not to hesitate

to ask people for what I want.

I want to ask you to have dinner with me right away.

I'd love to, but couldn't we wait till after lunch?

She's all right, gopher.

She can stay on the ship.

Hey, what a coincidence.

We live in the same condominiums.

On boheny near sunset, the new high-rise.

Oh, we do?

Well, goodbye.

What do you mean, goodbye?

Hey, this is great.

We're neighbors and this cruise would be a great time for us

to get to know each other.

Look, I have only one rule in life.

And that rule is never get involved with the man who lives

in the same building as you do.

Wait a minute.

Well, as they say at the ballpark--

strike one.

Well, I never strike out, though.

I'm not a famous PR man for nothing.

Hey.

[Phone ringing]

Hello.

I'm Isaac Washington and this is Vicki stubing.

Oh, it's nice to meet you.

I'm Stan barber.

I'm for Laura France--

I mean, Laura barber.

Ah, don't tell me-- newlyweds.

Here, let me show you to the honeymoon suite.

Um, we couldn't afford the honeymoon suite.

Oh, you're on promenade deck, cabin 312.

But I'm sure any cabin that you're in

will be the honeymoon suite.

Here, let me take your luggage for you.

Oh, gosh, what do you have in there?

Law books.

Stan has to do his homework on this cruise.

Homework was never that much fun when I was in school.

Well, here, let me take this.

Let's go.

Nice meeting you.

Excuse me.

Who was that young fellow?

I think I know him.

Oh, that's Mr. Stan barber.

Sure looks familiar.

Well, I'm frank Jensen.

How do you do, Mr. Jensen?

I'm Isaac Washington and welcome aboard.

Thank you.

This is the first day of my retirement.

Oh, congratulations.

But you seem a bit young to be retired.

I guess it's all in your attitude, Isaac.

You can either look at retirement

as permanent unemployment or as a life long vacation.

And you're looking at it as a lifelong vacation?

How should I know?

It's only my first day of retirement.

Thank you, Phil.

Excuse me, captain stubing?

Yes, may I help you?

Ah, yes.

I'm Barbara Braden.

I'm here to paint your portrait.

How do you do, Ms. Braden.

It's an honor to meet you.

I know your work very well.

Thank you.

I'm looking forward to learning about your work.

But you're going to have to call me Barbara.

All right, Barbara.

I must confess, I've never had my portrait painted before.

What do I do first?

All you have to do is look captainly.

And I don't think you're going to have any trouble doing that.

Thank you.

I guess I'd better get settled in.

We'll meet later and get started.

Right.

Bye.

Oh, is that the lady who's going to paint your portrait?

Mm-hm.

I'd like to put in my order for 8

by 10, a couple of wallet size.

Why, thank you.

Oh, not of you.

Of her.

[Horn]

Oh, excuse me.

- Oh. - Hey!

We're neighbors again.

It's just like as if we were in Los Angeles.

And just like as if we were in Los Angeles, goodbye.

Protected by the second fourth and fifth amendments.

Correct.

Now what is double jeopardy?

Double jeopardy.

Double jeopardy--

come on, be serious.

What's--

double jeopardy.

A person cannot be tried again for a crime for which

he's been previously acquitted.

Perfect you haven't missed one yet.

Maybe I should study here from now on instead

of in the law school library.

Let's see what you know about civil rights.

Honey, honey-- let's take a break.

Honeymoons are supposed to be fun.

This is fun.

I love helping you study.

I suppose your working two jobs to support me

through law school is fun too.

I'm not supporting you.

I'm investing in you, in us.

If you ask me, I think it's a pretty smart investment.

Oh!

Would you please stop following me?

I'm not following you.

I'm just-- you just happen to be blocking

the path of where I'm going.

Hey, listen, I'll leave and stop bothering you

if you'll answer one simple quick question for me.

What's the one question.

Well, it has to do with your rules

about not having a relationship with anyone

who lives in your building.

What about it?

Well, I just wondered why a beautiful young thing

like yourself would have such a rule--

although I respect it completely.

I have my rule because a close friend of mine

once fell in love with a man who lived in the same building

as she did.

And after they broke up, she used to see him in the elevator

with other girls.

And it was excruciatingly painful to her.

I see what you mean.

I'm glad you understand.

So I tell you what, after you and I break up,

I'll ask all my new girlfriends not to use the elevator

and use the stairs instead.

Nice day.

Or not.

Well, if I know my baseball and my women,

I'd say that was strike two.

Well, gopher, you know it don't take much to change

strike two to v for victory.

See you, buddy.

Bye, bye.

Now captain, I want you to pretend that I'm not here.

Mm-hm.

I just want to get some rough sketches of you

to feel you at work.

This isn't going to be the finished portrait.

Of course.

How's this?

Captain, I don't want you to pose for me, all right?

Ok.

I'll just do what--

what I do in here every day.

Oh, that's perfect.

That's what I want.

Good.

Ah!

How about this?

Captain, you're posing again.

Posing?

I'm sorry.

Just looking at my binoculars.

I think you'd be able to see father

if you took off the lens caps.

Hm?

Of course.

I thought it was kind of dark out.

Well, what can I get you?

A couple of grape juices, please.

Oh, you'd better go easy on that stuff.

I hear it turns your tongue purple.

You don't get many requests like that from young people

these days.

I was beginning to think you were

all just out to get blasted.

No, not all of us?

Don't I know you?

No you don't.

I mean, we've never met.

Are you sure?

I could swear I've seen you before.

Must have me mistaken for someone else.

Thanks.

Certainly.

I've seen him somewhere.

I don't know where.

Retired one day and my memory's going already.

But believe me, it was much easier to paint the president

than it ever was to paint spectacular biff.

Wow.

You mean, you painted the horse that won the Kentucky derby?

Mm-hm.

I certainly did.

I bet it was hard getting him to smile.

How's the captain's portrait coming?

Very nicely, Julie.

Thank you.

Ms. Braden is kind.

I'm afraid I'm not a very good model.

Too self-conscious.

Oh, no.

That's not true.

He's a wonderful subject.

He has such a marvelous air of command about him.

I just hope that I can capture those rugged, handsome

features, as well as the compassion that I

see those beautiful eyes.

I hope you have plenty of red paint

to capture the blush you just put on his face.

[Laughter]

You don't talk very much, do you?

No, not much.

You like good, expensive jewelry?

I picked this up in Vegas.

That's Las Vegas to people who haven't

been there as much as I.

Very nice.

Excuse me.

Look, I'm not going to live here.

I'm just going to have some dinner.

Tell me, Larry, where did you say you

got that lovely bracelet?

Vegas.

Ah.

Could that be Las Vegas?

Yeah.

Could I see your bracelet please?

What for?

Well, we live in the same apartment building back

in Los Angeles and we were kind of looking

around for a building bracelet.

What's a building bracelet?

Oh, it's just something that links neighbors together.

Well, like I say, we live in the same apartment

building back in Los Angeles.

But there's nothing between us.

No, sir ree, Bob.

Never has been, has it?

No, and there never will be.

As you say, Larry.

Let me see, when you've been married for 25 years,

it's your silver anniversary.

Five years is wood, and one year is paper.

I wonder what it is when you've been married for day?

I don't know.

But we have all night to figure it out.

Stan barber, right?

Isaac told me the name, but I still can't place the face.

How are you tonight?

We're fine.

You two know each other?

I think so.

I don't think so.

Frank Jensen.

Oh, Laura.

Yes.

Well, it's been driving me crazy.

You from woodland hills?

Yes.

Maybe you two do know each other.

I used to have a liquor store on desoto

Avenue, Jensen's liquors.

There 10 years.

Maybe you came in now and then?

No.

I don't think so.

You see, I don't drink, so no.

Oh, well i--

I don't mean to interrupt you two.

I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Nice meeting you.

Good night.

Good night.

That wasn't like you.

You're so unfriendly.

Stan, he probably just wanted someone to talk to.

Let him talk to somebody else.

Look, look, I'm on my honeymoon.

I only want to talk to you.

Ok?

You know, merrill, I really am enjoying myself.

You're a wonderful host.

Thank you, Laura.

Do you think we should start on my portrait?

Oh, we will.

There's no hurry.

Now I don't want to rush you, but if you don't start soon,

I may not look young enough.

Do I have reason to suspect it's time to call strike three?

Not at all, gopher.

Just time for a little conference on the mound.

Oh, changing pitchers, huh?

Nope.

Changing pitches.

As a PR man, I know when a product isn't selling,

it's time to change it's image.

So I'm changing mine from bothersome neighbor

to hurt and sensitive neighbor.

Watch this.

Ms. Weldon, I know you said you had

a rule about not getting involved with a neighbor,

but is that really true?

Or is it because you just don't like me personally?

Oh, no.

Don't think that.

What I told you was the truth.

With one exception.

It didn't happen to my friend.

It happened to me.

Oh, I'm sorry, Doris.

I know how much that can hurt.

But look on the bright side.

Losing somebody gives you the opportunity

to find someone new.

Oh, that's nice.

You have a positive outlook on life.

I like that.

Oh, there you go again, starting a relationship.

No, really, you look fine.

I want you just to relax, take a deep breath,

let me see that super smile of yours, ok?

Oh, wait a minute Barbara.

I think I should wear my blue jacket.

Oh, all right.

Whatever would make you feel most comfortable.

Blue jacket it is.

Oh, hold it.

I've had so many photographs in that blue jacket.

I think I want you to paint me in my white jacket.

All right.

I'm sorry to hold up everything like this.

I just think it should be right.

It's all right, merrill.

I want you to be happy with this.

Ok.

Set?

All set.

Ok.

Let's get to work.

Wait a minute.

My hat.

Where's my hat?

I really think I should wear my hat for this portrait.

It must be in my cabin.

I'll be right back.

No, merrill, you--

you brought your hat.

Oh.

I really don't need it, do I?

What do you think?

I think you should relax.

Relax?

What makes you think I'm not relaxed?

Ready or not, here I come.

Aren't you gonna get ready for bed?

Listen, honey, I've got to go do something right away.

Is everything all right?

Everything's fine.

I'll be right back.

Be right back.

Mr. Jensen?

Oh, hi there.

Uh, I need to talk to you.

All right.

Good.

You were right.

You did recognize me.

I thought I had.

I was in your liquor store one night.

It was back when I had a--

well, I had a drinking problem.

I came in drunk looking to get drunker,

and you wouldn't sell me anything.

And I guess I went a little bit crazy.

Now I recognize you--

now Mr. Jensen, I understand how you must feel--

how could I forget?

You and your gang of hoodlums come in my store,

Rob me, beat me to death.

Gang?

I don't know anything about--

you and your punk pals--

listen, I don't know what you're talking about.

I came in alone.

And I ran off with some booze that you wouldn't sell me.

Now I was pretty messed up.

When I realized what I had done, well, I

just couldn't come back.

I was-- I was too scared.

You were scared?

Yes.

But a lot has happened to me since then.

Now I haven't had a drink in two years.

I'm in law school now.

I met a wonderful girl and we've just been married.

Now I am really very, very sorry for what happened that night.

And Mr. Jensen believe me, I will do anything,

anything to make that up to you.

Make it up, huh?

You know where I've been for the past two months?

In the hospital because a couple punks worked me over.

I had to sell my store.

And I swore if I ever got one of you, I'd ruin you.

Oh please, Mr. Jensen--

you can forget about law school, kid.

You're going to jail.

It's been grand.

Can I come in for a nightcap?

No.

I don't think so.

Well, how about a cup of coffee?

No, really.

I'm tired.

Well, you won't be tired after you drink a cup of coffee.

Come on, baby.

What do you say?

Well, all right.

Just for a minute.

Larry: You really are a cute dish, Doris.

Doris: Oh, please Larry.

No.

Larry: Come on, baby.

Doris: Uh, Larry!

[Music playing loudly]

Turn down the music in there.

You hear me?

[Inaudible] Turn down that music in there.

What are you screaming about?

We don't have any music in there.

Yeah, you turned it down now.

Some people have no consideration.

I didn't even bring a radio with me.

She's right.

She didn't.

You keep out of this, buddy.

Or maybe the IRS would like to know

if you paid taxes on that money you won gambling in Vegas?

Ok.

Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.

Ok, folks.

Back in your rooms now.

Everything's all right.

I-- I wouldn't have any kind of relationship

with you even if I didn't have a rule about it.

Same to you.

[Door slams]

Goodnight, neighbor.

Well, I think that's about it for the night, merrill.

Oh, I was hoping you said that.

[Laughter]

[Yawning]

I didn't realize how much work posing was.

Excuse me.

Well, for someone who started out so nervous,

you really relaxed and did a wonderful job.

Now let's see what you've done.

Well, now remember.

It's in the early stages.

Hey, that's terrific.

You're a very talented woman, Barbara.

Thank you.

Ah, but-- you deserve the credit.

All I did was sit over there.

No, you did much more than that.

I get--

I get a very special feeling from you.

It just had to show up on the canvas.

Oh.

What kind of special feeling?

Warmth and tenderness.

Actually, I had a very difficult time

keeping my eyes on the canvas.

Do you want to know the most difficult thing for me

when I was sitting over there all that time?

What?

Wondering when i'd get a chance to do this.

Oh, you know, I was wondering the very same thing.

Oh, wait a minute--

[laughter]

Good morning, sweetheart.

Good morning.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I just didn't sleep very well last night, that's all.

Oh, poor baby.

You were tossing and turning all night.

I know.

Are you ok?

I said I'm ok.

Ok?

Listen, why don't I get dressed

and we'll have some breakfast and then we'll sit on the deck

and do some more studying?

I've been thinking about that.

Maybe I'm not cut out for law school.

What?

Well, it's the work and the pressure and who needs that?

What's so great about being a lawyer anyway?

Come on, Stan.

You're being silly.

You know being a lawyer is all you've ever dreamed of.

Let's sit you out in the sunshine

and pour you a cup of coffee and we'll talk about it, all right?

I said, I don't want to do it.

Now will you leave me alone?

Where are you going?

Out.

Just out.

[Slam]

Good morning, good morning.

Care if I join you?

Yes, I do.

Is that any way to treat me after I saved

you from that jerk last night?

Oh, he's not such a bad guy.

He's a great guy.

Snappy dresser, too.

Kiss you one time and your whole body

turns green from all that jewelry.

[Laughter]

Listen, I'm here on official apartment house business.

The more I think about it, the more

I like your rule about neighbors never becoming

involved with each other.

I'm glad you finally agree.

Oh, I do.

I certainly do agree.

In fact, I agree so much that I made

up a questionnaire last night.

Listen, I figure if we can time our apartment house activities

to the split second, we can live across the hall

from each other for years and never have

to lay eyes on one another.

Oh, that would be lovely.

Now what time would you like to be in the mailbox area

each morning to pick up your mail?

Doesn't make any difference to me.

Well, if you have no choice, I'd like to pick

mine from 9:00 to 9:30 am.

I get most of my mail at the office.

So at my apartment I get mostly periodicals, weekly magazines,

psychology magazines with articles

about why people live by rules and how most of it's

caused by sexual repression.

Things like that.

Now the time you'd like to use the swimming pool each day is

very important, because if I saw you in an outfit like the one

you're wearing, it could lead to the intimate and loving

relationship that we're both trying so very hard to avoid.

Have you had breakfast yet?

No.

Try a prune Danish.

Strike three?

No thanks.

I've already eaten.

Mm.

Beautiful morning this is.

After last night, how could it not be a beautiful morning.

So what time do you want me to start posing for you today?

Mm.

Well, I don't need you to pose for me at all.

I destroyed that painting that I started last night.

Why?

It was wonderful.

Merrill, that painting was--

well, it was a portrait of a stranger.

Now that I know you better, I want

to create something that will capture what you mean to me.

Then you still need me to pose for you.

Uh-uh.

No.

I have everything that I need locked up right in there.

And I must get started.

Oh, Barbara, I almost forgot.

I'm having a small cocktail party in my quarters tonight.

Merrill, I have to finish your portrait.

I'll try.

I hope so.

You're the guest of honor.

Oh.

Then I'll be there.

Hi, Doris.

You having fun?

Oh, hi Julie.

I'm not so sure.

Remember that rule of mine I told you about?

The one about not dating guys that live in your building.

Yeah, that's the one.

I'm not so sure if it's such a good rule anymore.

I just met a guy that I could really like,

and wouldn't you know it, he lives in my building.

Aw, that's tough.

Yeah, it sure is.

If I didn't have that rule, i'd notice how green his eyes are.

If I didn't have that rule, I'd notice how much fun he is

and what a great sense of humor he has.

Sounds to me like you need a new rule.

Oh, what's that?

No more rules.

Yeah.

[Knocking]

Just a minute.

Merrill.

I just thought I'd stop by to see how you were doing.

How are you doing?

Just fine, thank you.

Oh, may I have a look?

Mm-mm.

I want you to wait until it's finished.

Come on.

Just one little look.

No, you can see it later on tonight.

Can I see you latter on tonight?

Uh, of course.

Good.

I missed you.

Oh, good.

Uh-uh.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye, bye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye!

Don't tell me.

I never forget a drink.

Grape juice, right?

Double scotch.

Coming right up.

I've been looking all over for you.

Why did you walk out on me like that?

I just got to do some thinking.

Double scotch.

Stan, what are you doing?

Having a drink.

I thought you were through with that stuff?

It's just one little drink.

It's no big deal.

What is the matter with you?

Ever since we got on this ship, you've

been acting like a stranger.

It's something I have to work for myself.

And that's how you're going to do it?

You listen to me, Stanley barber,

if you're going to mess up your life,

well, that's your business.

But if you're going to mess up our life,

well, I'm not going to stick around for it.

Hold on.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to acapulco.

Night club tours of acapulco will leave

the dock area in 15 minutes.

Young man?

Sir?

I'm looking for a good restaurant in acapulco.

Any ideas?

Well, I'll tell you what.

Let me check the restaurant guide

and I'll find you something terrific.

Just hang on. - Thank you.

Gopher, did you have any luck?

Oh, right.

I booked you on a flight 210 to Los Angeles,

leaves acapulco at 9:35.

Thank you.

Hey, it's what I do.

Mrs. Barber.

Hello, Mr. Jensen.

You and your husband going home, are you?

No.

I'm going alone.

Oh, that doesn't sound like much of a honeymoon.

Well, maybe he hasn't been much of a husband.

What do you mean?

Ever since last night, he's been acting like a completely

different person.

I don't know what happened and he won't tell me what it is.

Oh, sir.

I just found you great place.

Thanks just the same, gopher.

I seemed to have lost my appetite.

There is something you can do for me though.

Sure.

Merrill, you really know how to throw a cocktail party.

Thank you, Adam.

It's the first thing they teach you in captain school,

right before knots and celestial navigation.

Where's Barbara?

Isn't she the guest of honor.

Oh, she'll be here.

She's locked herself in the cabin all day

putting the finishing touches on my portrait.

How is it?

I don't know.

I haven't seen it yet.

They'll unveil it tonight in the acapulco lounge.

To tell you the truth, i'm kind of nervous about it.

Yeah, I can understand that.

Merrill, I've been meaning to tell you,

I haven't spent an awful lot of time with her,

but Barbara sure seems like a sensational lady.

She is.

She's the brightest, the loveliest, the most

talented woman I've met in--

I don't know how long.

Sounds like you might be falling in love?

Not only sounds like it.

Feels like it too.

Pardon me.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

That's all right.

Well, how'd the portrait turn out?

Oh well, I have to admit, I think it's my best work.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Well, how did you finally paint me?

In my white jacket or my blue jacket?

Uh, neither.

You painted me in my dress shirt?

No, I didn't paint you in dress shirt either.

Don't tell me i'm not wearing anything.

You could say that.

You painted me in the nude?

Where's the painting?

In my cabin.

Come on.

[Music playing]

Isaac, could I have a double scotch, please.

Sure.

Are you going to drink it this time,

or are you just going to stare at it again?

Hey, aren't you going to say goodbye to your wife?

What do you mean?

Where's she going?

Well, she's flying back to la.

I thought you knew that.

Hey-- what was that about?

I don't know.

Mr. Jensen told me to come up here and tell him that.

Well, this time he didn't even stare at it.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

Merrill, there's nothing wrong with painting you in the nude.

After all, it is the way you were brought into this world.

Right.

But that's not the way I want to be brought

into the acapulco lounge.

Now, merrill--

please, Barbara.

Open the door.

All right.

Oh.

Oh.

What's wrong?

The painting's gone.

How could it be gone?

Well, I suppose they came and picked it up

and took it to the acapulco lounge.

Oh.

The unveiling's in a few minutes.

We've got to stop it.

Come on.

Merrill--

gopher, I finally meet a girl I'm crazy about it

she's got a rule against me.

Now wait a minute.

She doesn't have any rule against you.

She's got a rule against somebody

that lives in the same apartment building as she does, right?

So if you love her that much, just move out of your apartment

and get another one.

I can't afford it.

I just spent a fortune redecorating.

But I can afford a cablegram saying I bought another.

The radio office is that way.

Thanks a lot, buddy.

All right.

Laura, Laura.

Please don't leave.

It's a little late for that, isn't it?

It's never too late to tell the truth.

I know I've been acting strange lately.

Strange doesn't begin to describe

how you've been acting lately.

I have a plane to catch.

Laura, please listen to me.

Mr. Jensen did recognize me.

Back before I knew you when I was still drinking,

I stole some liquor from his store.

Now he wants to press charges against me.

He could keep me from becoming a lawyer.

Why didn't you tell me about this before?

I'm your wife.

We're not supposed to have secrets.

I know.

But I was afraid you wouldn't understand.

I was afraid it would change how you felt about me.

Stan, I love you.

And now that you've told me about this,

we can face it together.

Ok?

I'm so glad I married you.

Pardon me, you two.

What do you want?

I want to apologize.

I thought I recognized you as one

of the punks who beat me up.

I see now you're not that person at all.

I'm sorry.

You know, I just remembered something else.

What?

We're on our honeymoon.

What are we waiting for?

Hey, Julie.

Hi, doc.

Doc.

Oh, miss Julie.

Where is captain stubing?

It's way past time for me to unveil his portrait.

Well, he may have gotten cold feet.

He may not show up.

Hm.

Then I guess its time for me to do this now.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen,

tonight we have a very special treat for you.

Barbara Braden, the famous artist,

has been painting a portrait of captain stubing.

He's obviously too modest to be here for the unveiling.

So without any further ado.

[Drum roll]

May I present our very own captain merrill stubing.

Oh, no.

Is she kidding?

Is that the captain?

I didn't recognize him without his hat on.

That's me.

I love it.

[Laughter]

I love it.

[Applause]

[Knocking]

Yes?

How do you do Ms. Weldon?

Since you're so properly choosy about your relationship

with your neighbors, I wanted to come by

and tell you that I've just received a cablegram

I'd like you to read.

Well, this says you just bought a new condominium.

That's right.

At 1000 elysian park on nice neighborhood.

The best.

So if you have a friend that would

like to buy my old apartment, I thought I'd let you know first.

Good evening, Ms. Weldon.

Wait a minute, Don.

Don?

Do you realize what this cablegram means?

No.

What?

Well, since we're not going to be neighbors anymore,

my rule doesn't apply to you.

Hey, that's right.

Would you like to come in for a nightcap?

Well, I'd like to but, well, I have this rule--

I never date girls that don't live in my building.

[Laughter]

I'm sorry, Barbara.

I guess I should have known you'd never embarrass

me in front of everybody.

I think I should be the one to apologize.

I didn't exactly paint you the way I was supposed to.

No, you certainly didn't.

Oh, merrill, I couldn't paint you the way

I paint my other subjects.

They're jobs.

I get paid for that.

This was a labor of love.

There it is, that magic word.

Wouldn't it upset you terribly if I told you I loved you?

No.

Oh, merrill.

I will always treasure our time together

and I will never forget you.

Ever.

Barbara, tell me I'm wrong.

Tell me you're not saying goodbye.

I'm not.

We'll have to be together again someday, somehow.

But we-- we have to.

Someday?

When?

I don't know.

Give me time, please.

I've always thought of myself as a free spirit,

one of the blessings of being an artist.

Now I see it's one of the--

one of the curses.

Please, darling.

Give me time.

Please.

Please.

Well, well, well.

Together again.

Looks like the honeymoon worked out after all.

Well, we're just getting started.

And we're never going to let it end.

Bye, bye.

Bye.

Before you go, young man, i'd like to get your phone number.

Oh, I thought we got that all straightened out last night.

We did.

I just thought I might need a good lawyer some time

and you're the man I'd like to call.

Thank you.

So Don, I see everything worked out

after you got that cablegram saying that your condominium

sale went through, aye?

So long, gopher.

It's nice meeting you.

Oh, relax honey.

I know all about that phony cable.

You do?

I was bought up in Los Angeles and I know

it like the back of my hand.

And if your new apartment is at 1000 elysian park,

then your living room has to be right behind second base

at dodger stadium.

I love you.

I love you, too.

See you, gopher.

Bye.

What do you know?

Guy finally hit a home run.

Barbara, I'm so glad we got a chance to say goodbye.

I am too.

I was certainly a pleasure meeting all of you.

It was nice meeting you, too.

Even though I didn't get to see much of dad while

you were here.

Listen, you two girls, tell me.

What did you think of the captain's portrait?

Well, uh, to tell you the truth, uh, it's like nothing

I've ever seen before.

Well, I do realize it isn't exactly what

the cruise line had in mind.

So Barbara will have to come back

someday and paint another one.

Mm-hm.

And I'm going to keep doing it until I get it right.

[Laughter]

[Theme music]