Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

Your call will be ready in just a minute, gopher.

This is ridiculous, man.

I know I am not related to Farnsworth.

Just ask your mother.

She may know something you don't know.

Well, I certainly hope so,

because every minute on this phone

is gonna cost me a fortune.

Don't worry. I'm gonna keep you posted.

Call's ready now, gopher. You can pick up right there.

All right. You ready?

Okay. Now, go.

Hi, mom. It's burl.

Who?!

You'll have to talk louder. I can't hear you.

Burl, mom!

Burl!

Your son, burl Smith!

15 seconds.

Mom, look, there is a man here named --

what?

I said, "do you know what time it is?"

It is 6:30 in the morning!

Well, it's not 6:30 here, mom. It's -- what?

30 seconds.

Mom, it's tomorrow here.

Where you are, it's yesterday. See?

Burl, are you drunk? Are you sure?

Well, it's nice to hear your voice anyway.

I don't hear from you anymore.

This is the first time I've heard from you

since the last time.

Where are you?

45 seconds.

South pacific.

Oh, I love that show.

Of course, my favorite was "Annie get your gun."

No, mom, don't sing, please.

♪ There's no business like show business ♪

♪ like no business I know ♪

Oh, I used to rock you to sleep with that one

when you were a little boy.

♪ Everything about it is appealing ♪

♪ everything the traffic will allow ♪

I got the album, mom.

One minute.

Mom, look, please.

I'm in a hurry. This is important!

Say, guess who I bumped in to downtown yesterday?

I can't.

Well, that's probably the day after tomorrow where you are.

That's a joke, son.

You'll never guess in a hundred years.

Come on, now. Take a guess. Come on.

Just one guess. Just one.

Cousin Hector.

No. No. Guess again.

Mom, I don't have time to play guessing games, mom!

A minute, 15.

Mom, look, I'm on the ship. I'm calling from work.

I told you where we are! We're in the south pac--

okay. No. Mom, we're in the islands off Australia.

Azalea? I thought that was a flower.

Australia, mom! The islands off Australia!

A minute, 30.

What difference does it make what islands?!

I'm sorry, mom. Okay. Sure.

Uh, vila, Suva...

Savusavu.

Savusavu.

A minute, 45.

A minute, 45.

Mom! Mom, look!

I have to ask you something very, very important, mom!

I thought you were calling from Los Angeles.

I didn't know that you were so far away.

You don't have to call me from way out there.

This must be costing you a fortune.

You don't have to call me from out there.

Just drop me a card.

Mom! Mom!

She hung up on me!

That's 2 minutes and 1 second.

That means they're gonna charge you for the third minute.

I'm gonna have to be related to Farnsworth

just to break even on the phone call.

Wait till I show dad these shells we picked.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, everybody. The captain sends his apologies,

but he won't be joining us for dinner.

Is he all right, doc?

Not exactly.

I had to give him something for a mild stomach disorder.

You should try giving him paupau.

Paupau?

Papaya.

The islanders use it for tummy problems.

Really? That's interesting.

Tell me, do the islanders have cures for other problems, too?

For many. Not all.

This is all wrong.

I should be in the middle.

You're an unmarried couple, I at least have been married to her.

Im staying right where I am.

It's morally wrong for a single man to sleep next to a single

lady especially when they're in bed with an ex-husband.

Will you two try to get some sleep?

[ Knock on door ]

Who is it?

Me, Wayne! I've got a message from Mr. Farnsworth.

What is it? We're in bed!

Well he told me to deliver it in person, and it can't be

in person through a door.

Quick, hide in the bathroom!

Coming Wayne!

Come in? Ok!

You should lock your door at night.

I forgot to bring these flowers earlier, but Mr. Farsnworth

wanted me to tell you that- boy, you sure got a lumpy bed.

Well, I always sleep with my feet up on pillows.

Oh, his doctor just says it's wonderful for his circulation.

Yeah, makes the blood go to the head.

That makes sense. We used to have a pet possum, name was

Archie, he used to hang by his tail from a tree all the time.

He never had a sick day in his life.

[Grunting]

I'm sorry that I woke ya, but Mr. Farnsworth thought these

flowers might put you in a romantic mood.

He said something about having a baby named after him.

Happy dreams!

I almost smothered under there!

Well we have the rest of the night. You wanna try it again?

[ Knock on door ]

Melanie...i, uh, was just on my way to bed.

Is your stomach feeling any better, captain?

Yes. Thank you.

So I see.

Dr. Bricker must be quite a miracle worker.

Uh...

Why don't I admit it, Melanie?

I've been avoiding you.

That's obvious, merrill. But why?

I've been asking myself the same question.

Please believe me. I do care for you.

I care for you.

Surely you must know that.

Yes.

But I guess I just need more time to...

To think things out.

I understand.

I didn't expect to feel this way either.

It's my fault the way things have gone.

I'm sorry.

Please. You have nothing to apologize for -- nothing.

Perhaps I'm being too direct,

too quick in telling you how I really feel about you.

But that's the way it is

and always has been with the island people.

I know.

You mean you remember.

Good night, merrill.

I'm mad at you, merrill.

I'm supposed to be the guy who kisses the girls

and makes them cry.

Adam, what am I doing?

Falling in love with someone half my age...

Falling in love with a memory.

I don't know which it is...

Or which is worse.

I'm old enough to be...

Her husband?

Beautiful.

Hmm. Takes your breath away, doesn't it?

Sure does, and I'm not talking about the moonlight.

If that's a compliment, sir, I accept.

"And her eyes told me stories

"that I had never heard before.

"And her lips made me promises

that still there was more."

What's that from?

That's a poem that I wrote...

A long time ago.

I mean, a long, long time ago.

Who'd you write it for?

I never knew, not until now.

Bill...

You know, just the little time that we've been together,

I mean, well, it's really something.

I've felt things that I never thought

that I could feel again,

that I ever wanted to feel again.

Please. There's something I have to say.

I don't want to hear that,

none of that about where you've been, what you've done.

No. It's just here and now. That's all I care about.

Do you really think it could be that way?

It can if we want it to be.

Do we?

You don't really know me.

I don't want to hear it.

Well? What do you say?

♪ Good night, sweetheart ♪

♪ till we meet tomorrow ♪

♪ good night, sweetheart ♪

♪ dreams will -- ♪

Bill?

Take me with you.

Where?

Wherever you're going.

Now, the last line is:

[Singing in Fijian]

Perfect! Now you can speak Fijian!

I used to teach this to my children in English. It's called

“the big ship”

now let's start from the beginning.

[Singing in Fijian]

[Singing in Fijian]

Wonderful! Wonderful!

Thank you Melanie.

Well I hope you're impressed!

I am.

You certainly have a wonderful way with children.

Thank you.

And I should know. Because I've been acting like a child.

I'm sorry we got off to a bad start.

I take full blame for that.

If it's not too late, I hope we can begin again.

Can we?

You must be captain stubing. I'm Melanie kalani.

We're now docking in Suva, Fiji's capital,

located on the picturesque island of viti levu.

While here, enjoy a tour of breathtaking thurston gardens,

and don't forget a visit to the Fiji museum.

Also, try to see the mystifying ceremony of the firewalkers,

and a must on your list should be exotic orchid island.

[ Singing in Fijian ]

Bula!

Bula!

Bula!

Bula!

[ Shouting ]

Bula and welcome, ladies and gentlemen,

to the ancient and mystical ceremony

of the firewalkers.

This event is a tradition passed

from generation to generation

by the sawau tribe of beqa island.

In Fiji, the word for firewalking is "vilavilairevo,"

which means "jumping into the oven."

[ Drumming and chanting ]

What are you thinking about?

You really want to know?

I wouldn't have asked.

I was thinking what a truly remarkable man you are.

Hmm.

Well, you're not only attractive and beautiful,

but you're also very intelligent.

The timbers you see here

have burned upon the rocks for six hours,

heating them until they are white-hot.

Once the pit is made ready,

their leader, called a bete, beckons the men forward

to perform this mystifying act.

[ Rhythmic clanging, clapping, and chanting ]

[ Shouting ]

Their feet aren't burned, and they experience no pain.

I could do what those guys do, but I'm too modest.

I don't want people to see me in bare feet.

In preparation for this ceremony,

all firewalkers are separated from their wives

for two weeks.

Walking on fiery rocks,

that hurts me just to watch.

You know what their secret is?

What?

They don't scream till they get home.

Oh. That's how they do it.

Here comes your uncle or your grandfather or something.

Cut it out, all right? Cut it out.

Great show, huh, Mr. Farnsworth?

Huh?

I know you're related. I just know you are.

Eloise, you remember that missing limb on our family tree?

The one branch of the family we couldn't track down?

Yes, uncle William.

Contact Pendleton at my computer center.

Have him run a check on this, uh, whatever his name is.

Gopher?

Gopher, yes.

Tell him I want a complete readout, and fast.

Look, merrill. Tiki's still here.

When we were youngsters,

we used to come here on holidays

and pretend it was an island god.

If you gave tiki an offering,

he'd give you your wish.

Did your wishes come true?

Sometimes. Would you like to try?

Sure.

You first.

There. I've made my wish.

Do you have yours ready?

As I was watching you,

I realized that everything you do

shows your love for these islands.

I love you for it.

My wish is that this day never ends.

That's just what I wished for.

I've forgotten how beautiful these islands are.

I suppose you'd miss them if you ever had to leave.

I love the islands.

But we have a saying --

"you cannot lose something you really love.

Even if you leave, it's in your heart forever."

Lovely thought.

But I wouldn't want to leave my island.

What reason would I have?

Unless it was to marry you.

Marry me.

Of course, merrill.

Or are you still dreaming about the past?

No. My only concern is with the present.

Melanie, you're so much younger than I am.

Merrill, I'm a grown woman, and I love you.

If you love me, too, then nothing else matters.

Then nothing else matters.

Tomorrow, when we reach my island,

we can announce our engagement.

No. I want the world to know today.

Today just tell me that you love me.

I love you, Melanie.

We couldn't go see the firewalkers.

No, no. No. We had to rent this wretched truck,

get stuck out here in the middle of nowhere.

Martin, you know gopher tried to arrange a car for us.

This was all that was available.

Now, we're lucky to have this.

Lucky?! You call this lucky?

Yes, lucky that uncle William doesn't see us all together.

Believe me, he is not all together.

Know what I mean?

Look, we're gonna miss the boat.

Now, will you do something?

For heaven's sake, do something!

All right, I'll do something!

No wonder you divorced him.

He's bonkers.

[ Air horn blows ]

Was that what I think it is?

That depends.

If you think it was a tuba, no.

If you think it was the ship leaving, mm-hmm.

Good evening.

Wayne, how's that Shirley temple tonight?

Oh, it's fine. It's just fine.

Hey, Wayne, how would you like to try one of my Roy Rogers?

Unh-unh. I know what happens to me when I mix my drinks.

Oh, gopher, we haven't gotten any news back yet

from that computer center.

What computer center? What are we talking about?

Oh, nothing.

Doesn't sound like nothing to me.

Look, gopher, if Mr. Farnsworth found out I told you

he's checking to see if you all are related --

Wayne, shh!

Related?

Related.

Good evening, miss halverson.

Hi, Julie.

Gee, I hardly recognized you without Mr. Farnsworth.

[ Sighs ]

Julie...

Have you ever been in love, really in love?

Have you ever misled someone?

I might have told a white lie or two, yeah.

No, I mean...

Have you ever taken advantage of someone

and then felt awful about it?

I don't think so.

Hi, Julie. Jessica, I've got to talk to you.

Well, I have to be going anyway.

He's gonna ask you to marry him!

He just told me! [ Laughs ]

What kind of a reaction is this?

I just said he's gonna ask you to marry him.

I'm not gonna give him the chance.

What?

I've changed my mind.

You can't. What'll happen to me?

Who knows. Maybe you'll find your conscience.

I found mine.

Sorry about missing the ship.

It's all right. It wasn't your fault.

We'll just fly to savusavu

and pick it up tomorrow.

Remember the time in Switzerland when we missed the train,

and we had to spend the night in that little town?

[ Chuckles ] And the inn was full.

We stayed in that old boathouse down on the lake.

[ Laughing ] We wound up sleeping in a canoe.

[ Snores ]

Jenny...

Do you think that people who fall out of love

can fall in again?

Maybe, if they gave it a chance.

Sort of an interesting thought, isn't it?

Well, yes, it is.

What is going on here?

How did you end up in the middle?

Oh. I forgot to tell you. I walk in my sleep.

Will you get up?

We have to find a plane to take us back to the ship.

Oh, right. Why don't you go make the travel arrangements

and wake us when you get back?

Come here, you.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to savusavu, the quaint harbor town

on the island of vanua levu in Fiji.

You can sign up in the lobby

for a scenic drive through the lush, exotic countryside

and the namale plantation

or a tour of the beautiful beaches and sleepy lagoons.

Enjoy your stay.

Where have you been? I had to dress myself.

And you did a real fine job, too, for a first try.

Mr. Farnsworth, could you dress yourself

before you was rich?

I could dress myself when I was 7 years old --

just elastic-top short pants

and a shirt without any buttons on it.

Amazing.

Mr. Farnsworth, I'm gonna do something wrong.

Now, there's a news flash.

I'm gonna give you a message you're not supposed to get yet.

It's from your lady friend miss halverson.

I really shouldn't, though,

because she asked me not to give it to you

till after the boat sailed.

But I do work for you, and I am a loyal person.

But a promise is a promise.

Give that to me!

"It just wasn't meant to be. Jessica."

She must be flying home.

I know she left the ship.

The damn phones are not connected at port.

Wayne, you do this right and do it quick.

You're going to have to get to a phone on the dock.

[ Bell chimes ]

I'd like a seat on the first plane back

to Sydney, Australia, please.

Yes, ma'am. No problem.

You have to change planes in Suva.

Fine. Anything.

A single on flight 304 today, please.

Sold out?

Are you sure?

How about through vila?

It doesn't go that way.

Then put us on 404.

It can't be.

How about 614?

What's happening?

Oh.

I don't believe it.

What is happening?

Someone bought up all the seats on all the flights

out of here for the week.

Melanie: Here's my school, merrill -- namale.

This is where I teach.

Beautiful. What does namale mean?

Male is a type of tree.

Namale means "the male tree."

I've never seen a more beautiful place for a school.

If you think the school is beautiful,

wait till you see my children.

I can't wait for you to see them.

Children: ♪ the big ship sails in the early, early hours ♪

♪ the early, early hours ♪

♪ the early, early hours ♪

♪ the big ship sails in the early, early hours ♪

♪ on the last day of September ♪

♪ the captain sails in the never, never blue ♪

♪ the never, never blue ♪

♪ the never, never blue ♪

♪ the captain sails in the never, never blue ♪

♪ on the last day of September ♪

♪ we all dip our heads in the deep blue sea ♪

♪ the deep blue sea ♪

♪ the deep blue sea ♪

♪ we all dip our heads in the deep blue sea ♪

♪ on the last day of September ♪

Ho ho.

You were right.

They are thrilled to meet a real American captain.

[ Children speaking Fijian ]

And now, once again, in English.

Welcome to our island, captain.

Thank you. It's wonderful to be here.

We have an announcement to make.

The captain and I are going to get married.

I'm going away to live on his big ship.

Philly?

Woman: Goodbye, captain.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, miss kulani.

Children?

Goodbye, captain.

Goodbye, captain.

Goodbye, miss kulani.

Goodbye, miss kulani.

[ Speaking Fijian ]

This is for you.

I made it myself.

[ Engine turns over ]

Riding that little airplane was worse than the truck.

Last night was just like old times.

What are you doing?!

Well...we've gotta keep up the act.

We're back where uncle William can see us.

Well, all right.

But will you stop looking like you enjoy it so much?

[ Chuckles ]

We hoped you enjoyed your stay in savusavu.

We're now setting course for Sydney.

And then, in 1969,

you married another multimillionaire,

Burton holloway.

You divorced him two years later when he went broke.

And in 1972, you became Mrs. Henry halverson --

also a big earner, but a bigger spender.

Is that why you bought up all the airline tickets --

to get me back on the ship to expose my past?

You dumped halverson in 1978.

Now you have your sights set on William Otis Farnsworth.

Or did have.

Well, that's certainly a comprehensive report...

Except there's one thing missing.

Really?

Yes.

It doesn't say that you're the only man

I've ever really loved.

You once said that it's here and now that matters --

that's all you care about.

That's true,

but I didn't want you to be haunted

for the rest of your life by your past.

Because...

I am very interested in your future.

Julie: Here's to the happy couple --

to Melanie and merrill.

To Melanie and merrill --

hey, you guys can buy M&M's and have monogrammed candy!

[ All chuckling ]

Cheers.

Cheers.

I had quite a speech prepared with a lot of good jokes,

but Vicki came up with a much better idea.

Yes.

Vicki?

[ Singing "the big boat" in Fijian ]

♪ ...the early, early hours ♪

♪ the early, early hours ♪

♪ the big ship sails in the early, early hours ♪

♪ on the last day of September ♪

♪ the captain sails in the never, never blue ♪

♪ the never, never blue... ♪

[ Singing continues ]

[ Singing stops ]

Finally.

You really --

you shouldn't do this to me.

After all, I am an engaged woman.

I know.

The problem is, you're engaged to the wrong man.

Martin, there's something we would like to tell you.

I don't think I'm gonna like this.

Melanie...

...i understand.

Your heart is with those children.

I was mistaken to think you ever could leave them.

Your life is your school...

As mine is my ship.

No, merrill, it was my mistake.

You once thought I was a dream,

but the truth is, you were my dream --

a handsome captain who was going to take me away

to far-off lands and new and exciting adventures.

Then I saw my children...

And the dream ended.

I love you, merrill.

I always will.

But when we dock tomorrow, I must go back to my island.

Here.

Open it.

"I have not lost you --

"you are in my heart...

...forever."

[ Indistinct conversations ]

You are gonna get a bundle!

I don't know. I don't know.

Are you kidding?

Why would Farnsworth invite you to the family party

if you weren't related?

Here he comes.

Son?

Son! He called you son!

He called me son.

You're gonna get it all.

I'm gonna get it all.

Burl Smith, right?

Right.

Son of rosalyn Farnsworth Smith?

Right.

Born canton, Ohio,

the fourth daughter of Alden and Felicia Farnsworth

and granddaughter of Norman and Gretchen Farnsworth

and great-granddaughter of Perry and Sheila Farnsworth, right?

Right.

We're not related.

I need a drink.

I'm sorry, that's just for the family.

Hi.

What did you do to your hair?

Don't you love it?

Is that a wig?

I know what I'm doing.

Uncle William's wife wore her hair like this.

Hope he remembers.

How could he forget?

I'll be having nightmares about it for a year.

That's good news about your mother.

Mr. Farnsworth?

This party must sure make you sad.

What?

I mean, leaving your relatives all that money,

and you ain't even gonna have the fun of seeing them spend it.

Well, who knows? Maybe I'll take it with me.

How are you doing?

Something's bothering us.

Oh? Champagne no good?

No, uncle bill, it's not that.

It's -- well, bud and I have something

we've got to get off of our conscience.

We haven't been playing straight with you.

We know how you feel about divorce.

Well, Jenny and I are divorced.

Since April the 11th.

How long have you known?

Since April the 11th.

We want you to know that we're getting married again.

But only because we want to.

Ah, interesting.

Very interesting.

Hazel, frank.

Hello, uncle William.

Helen used to wear her hair just like that.

Really?

Yes. You have such a good memory, Hazel.

You've remembered so much about my wife --

how she dressed, her favorite color, the perfume she used,

how she did her hair.

Well, I -- you see, I didn't mean to do anyth--

but what you didn't know is that

those were the only things I didn't like about Helen.

[ Pops ]

Oh!

Stop fidgeting, Eloise.

S-Sir?

She wasn't fidgeting.

And I wish you'd stop saying that to the woman I love.

Golly.

Did you hear what I just said?

I did, and if you don't do something about it,

you're out of a job.

I love you, too, Wayne.

William...

Could I speak to you for a moment?

I don't know why not.

I have a confession to make --

a very sordid confession.

I brought Jessica on the ship to...

You don't have to say any more.

It's enough to know that you wanted to tell me about it.

Thank you.

And I didn't ruin your father.

I loved him.

He was just a poor manager of money.

Quiet, everybody.

I'd, uh, like to say a few words.

Hush up, everybody. Settle down.

It's no secret to you, I'm sure,

that I invited you on this cruise to check you out

before I revise my will.

And I have been doing some checking

and thinking and changing.

Well, first, I think I ought to tell you that, uh,

I'm getting married.

[ All murmuring ]

Yeah, I thought that would shake you up a bit.

And, uh...

This is the beautiful lady that I'm marrying --

Jessica halverson.

And I'm sure you're all wondering

how this affects you as my heirs.

I, uh, had decided to remember each one of you

quite generously in my will.

But I've changed my mind.

[ All muttering ]

I'll tell you what.

When I came in here tonight, a very wise man said to me,

"it must make you sad leaving all your money to your relatives

when you won't have the fun of seeing them spend it."

So...

You're out of my will -- all of you.

Because...

I am giving you the money now!

[ All cheering ]

I guess the joke's on me, Eloise.

What do you mean, Wayne?

Well, I talked him into giving all of his money away.

Now he won't have any to pay me with.

Oh, Wayne.

Welcome to Sydney, Australia, ladies and gentlemen,

one of the world's most magnificent harbors.

Uncle William, we've been thinking --

if you already knew we were divorced,

why did you invite us on the cruise?

You fell in love again, didn't you?

To hear him talk, you'd think he knew it was gonna happen.

Oh, that's impossible.

Oh, millionaires can work miracles we poor folks can't.

Besides, they don't call this "the love boat" for nothing.

[ Laughs ]

Where's Julie? I haven't seen her since we docked.

Oh, she'll be joining us later.

Your dad let her go ashore. She had something to do.

Oh.

David, thank you for bringing me here.

I just had to see this preserve one more time.

I know how you feel.

Yeah, Tony really loved this place.

We both did.

You know, I don't know if Tony ever got any of my letters, but --

he did. All of them.

They gave him a great deal of courage at the end.

Julie, you gave my brother a happiness he'd never had before.

I've got a great idea.

Why don't we just stay here the rest of our lives?

I can't think of a better way to spend the time.

Julie, are you okay?

David, I feel like I'm in Camelot.

Don't let it be forgot that once there was a spot

for one brief, shining moment.

Do I have to wait until Eloise and me geet married to call you

“uncle willy”?

Eloise, I'm afraid with him around you'll

never stop fidgeting.

Isaac, you run a fine bar.

Thank you, sir.

And gopher, if it's any consolation,

I'm sorry we're not related.

You've got spunk, I admire that.

Well, thank you Mr. Farnsworth.

You call me uncle William.

Bye-bye uncle William!

So long uncle William!

Get your own family.

Adam, have you seen Melanie?

I'm sorry merrill, she was one of the first to leave the ship.

I see.

Can you pick me up at the botanical gardens

on the way to the airport?

No problem.

Merrill!

Oh!

When I first came on the ship,

you tried to run away and hide from me --

from what you were feeling.

Today, when I left, I was trying to do the same thing.

So you came back.

Yes, merrill.

I came back to say goodbye to the man I love.

Goodbye, merrill.

Goodbye, Melanie.

Seems we both have our memories from austalia.

"I have not lost you --

you are in my heart forever."